Latest / Talk Shit Or Get Off The Pod / Episode 97: Dragon Sex

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Episode 97: Dragon Sex · Talk Shit Or Get Off The Pod

0:00
What it do, What it do, What it do.
0:02
It is your boy, Andrew Schultz. AK, Mr. Goody 2 Shoes.
0:06
And who am I with, As always, Joseph Huggins.
0:09
AK, Old Man Huggy. Talk Shit or Get Off the Pod.
0:13
Episode 97. We Are Waiting, motherfuckers.
0:51
What's going on, Joseph? Not much, man.
0:55
Same old shit. Been busy, busy, busy.
0:59
Work, work, work, busy, busy work.
1:01
But it's been nice. And besides almost melting in
1:05
the Texas sun every day, it's not too bad.
1:08
Dealt with worse. It's Well, I thought.
1:11
It hasn't been worse. It's like, so hot.
1:13
Well, that's what they say, but I feel like it's been worse or
1:16
it's just like we're I'm just, you know, it affects me.
1:21
But I've been slowly getting like, you know, just every year.
1:24
It's just like they're turning it up a notch and I'm ready.
1:27
You're you're acclimating. Yeah, I think I'm, I think I'm
1:29
acclimated. I think I if you look up
1:31
acclimated, are you the frog? Are you the frog just boiling in
1:36
the water? No, I mean, but like, you know,
1:39
I gotta wear a lot of black and stuff for work, and that sucks.
1:43
So it's hot. I'm not going to lie, it's
1:45
fucking hot. But it reaches a certain level
1:47
where it's past being like, oh, it's hotter than yesterday.
1:50
It's like it was 106 yesterday, it's 108 today.
1:54
Don't tell me you can tell the difference once you get past
1:56
like 102103. It's just a blur, you know, like
2:01
to cool off. Do you go down to the Rio Grande
2:04
and then like swim to go touch those like barriers that you
2:07
guys? Gonna say I would, but I might
2:09
get stuck and Greg Abbott's fucking noodling traps or
2:13
whatever the fuck it is. I think he's getting sued for
2:15
that. Which, you know, sounds about
2:16
right. Do you think that'll be a Tick
2:19
Tock challenge? Like swim out to the barriers?
2:22
Dude, I wouldn't be surprised. I could see it.
2:26
We get started right now. Know what's?
2:29
I don't want to take any responsibility for that, so
2:31
absolutely not. But I mean, people are going to
2:34
definitely be doing stupid shit. It's a bad.
2:40
It's a bad idea to begin with. They're like we're going to
2:42
build a bigger wall and then people started making videos of
2:45
them climbing walls and it's like that was a stupid ass wall
2:49
too. So, I don't know.
2:51
It's a stupid ass wall dog. Well, you know what?
2:56
I just. But besides, you know.
2:58
But what? No, I just said I'm just fine.
3:06
But you froze a little bit there.
3:07
You froze a little bit. I think I just stopped in time
3:10
for a second glitch in the matrix.
3:14
OK, well, as we do, we start with therapy questions.
3:18
Therapy. Question number one, these are
3:20
not presented by chat GBC. These are human questions.
3:25
Question #1 In those first few seconds, are you hoping it's
3:31
ice, ice baby or under pressure? Ice, ice, baby.
3:38
So when when that song comes on, because it's like the exact
3:42
same. We all know what we're talking
3:43
about here. Yeah, Yeah.
3:45
You're hoping it's ice ice, baby.
3:48
Yeah, I'm hoping it's the rip off, the one, you know, you got
3:50
sued for ripping off their beat. Yeah, because I don't think you
3:54
hear that as much anymore. That's true and.
3:58
Under pressure. It's just such like a big
4:00
dramatic song. And it's good.
4:03
But I'm like, yeah, I hear I've heard that more than I've heard
4:07
ice, Ice baby at this point. Like I got, I got Milli Vanilli
4:11
on the playlist. Why?
4:12
Because it doesn't get played enough anymore.
4:14
I don't care who sang it. It's a good song.
4:17
Well, are you hoping that the Ninja Turtles bust out like with
4:21
Vanilla Ice when you're? Listening.
4:24
Or what's man? Little go ninja.
4:27
Little go ninja. There's a better one, Turtle
4:30
Power. They had a song Turtles Turtles
4:32
on the half show no. No, no, not the theme song.
4:35
There's a rap song. I think it's to maybe the second
4:38
one. But it's absurd and it's like a
4:41
full blown and they're like TURTLE power and it's like it's
4:46
got bars in it. Dude, I'm not even kidding you.
4:48
You're like this. Who is this guy that they found
4:52
to do this on? He's got a ridiculous voice.
4:54
It's incredible. Okay, I guess.
5:00
Yeah. Ice.
5:00
Ice baby. Also, kind of depends where
5:02
you're at, but I I hear what you're saying that I like maybe
5:05
like 10 years ago, maybe under pressure, but now, like Bohemian
5:09
Rhapsody, the movie came out, Queen's a little bit overplayed.
5:13
Then the lies a little bit underplayed.
5:15
You know, I get it, I get it. Okay therapy.
5:19
Question #2. If you had to get a tattoo right
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now, gun to your fucking head, what would it be?
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And where on your body? If I gun to my head, good Lord.
5:34
Probably like a carousel of unicorns.
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And I'd get it right on the top of my lower back, probably, or I
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would get a phoenix. It'd be like burning ash for the
5:47
phoenix flying out. And then it would be holding the
5:51
Liberty Bell in its talons, and they'd be flying into a black
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hole with a banner that says Margaritaville 94.
6:02
Fun fact Oppenheimer discovered black holes.
6:06
That's like that's what I'm vibing with is that's what
6:08
you're vibing with. Yeah, I get a tramp stamp.
6:13
I'm just kidding. No, I'd probably get something.
6:15
I'd probably get some crazy elephant thing on my arm if I
6:18
had to get something. Or I'd get this Oscar the Grouch
6:21
tattoo. I've been one for a really long
6:23
time. It's just this page from a
6:25
coloring book. It's really funny.
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I think it'd be great. I'd probably get it on like my
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thigh. Something like that.
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Somewhere Oscar the Grouch on the thigh like thigh side.
6:37
For the grouch, big as my hand, maybe a little bit bigger.
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It's just a coloring book page, but it's got him holding this
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sign on the chicken thighs. Well, I ain't chicken thighs no
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more. No, Yeah, yeah.
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On the front of my thigh. Yeah, somewhere.
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Because I I wouldn't want it necessarily to be something
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that's like, oh, here's my Oscar the Grouch tattoo.
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I'd probably do it somewhere on my leg, I know, but I'm just
7:02
thinking of like you, like you take your pants off, like you're
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getting busy. Chick just it's like I was not
7:14
factored in, was not on my bingo card.
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True, but you know to throw somebody off.
7:20
When tastefully done. I mean, he lives in a fucking
7:23
trash can, dude. Yeah, that's right.
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OK. It's a whole state of mind.
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He's like a grumpy ass. Curmudgeon Emmanuel lives in a
7:33
trash can and the Bull. And it's cool because.
7:36
Also, one of my favorite hip hop artists is the Grouch.
7:39
Shout out Grouch. So there's Living Legend Shout
7:44
out. So there's a from this like
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coloring book that's got this Oscar the Grouch.
7:50
And it's just all black lines, but he's holding a sign and the
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sign says like I heart trash or something.
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But you could get it with the sign blank.
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And I'd do something that maybe I'd do like a grouch like song
8:02
title or something like that, you know, really like a music
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tattoo, but have it be like a double, like an Oscar the Grouch
8:07
grouch tattoo, something like that, maybe to that effect.
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That sounds crazy. I've thought about before, but
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I've never done it. So that tells you my obviously
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you've never done it otherwise. You have, otherwise I'd have it.
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So there you go. That's how that the tattoos
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work. I'd get one of little wet of my
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dog and then it'd be on my right forearm work cuz I'd already got
8:30
one of Dillon, my other dog, on my left.
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Yeah, so you'd pop it up, get on my left, Dillon, cuz I know you
8:36
ain't right, Pimp juice. No, you'd have to do something.
8:39
You got to think outside of the box.
8:41
You got to do to do like a like a scene from like a scene from
8:46
Homeward bound and it's got both your dogs in it with room where
8:51
you could add it. Like if you get like a cat or
8:53
something you could add more. Not happening.
8:55
No, no. Cats are tight, man.
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Cats are beautiful. Yeah, Nah, a cool, a cool
9:01
outdoors cat like neighborhood cat.
9:04
They're badass. They're like killing machines,
9:07
Okay. Cats are just like cats are just
9:11
like people. Well, yeah, good for them.
9:08
I like. Dogs love you unconditionally.
9:13
It's great. Nah.
9:14
Yeah, more so than a dog is, for sure.
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Maybe cats are like asshole people, I guess.
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Yeah, that's yeah, they're more of a Dick.
9:25
They know what they're doing. They're Dicks.
9:27
People are Dicks, yeah. Dogs love you unconditionally
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and they're like, they don't care.
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That's what makes them great. That's why the man's the best
9:35
friend. They just love you
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unconditionally. Will do anything for you?
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Yeah, they said Cat don't get 2. Fucks that cats don't give a
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fuck, dude, you could die and your cat would be like, Oh well
9:45
yeah, fuck the cat. I'm sleeping on the couch now.
9:48
Cindy, get the fuck out of here. Like right, Like cat don't give
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2 shits fuck a pussy. Cat OK therapy question #3
10:03
Joseph, would you have sex with a dragon?
10:16
Yeah, I was thinking about this. I mean, it depends what what?
10:21
What is this dragon like? Is it like?
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A Malfacet Dragon. It could be the Dragon.
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It could be Malfacet of your fantasy.
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It's like Malfacet and then like just turns into the dragon,
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doesn't turn back. Is that like, Because then you'd
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be like, hey, that's like Angelina Jolie just as a dragon.
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Uh uh no. It's got to be like Dragon.
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Like it's like like smog, Like smog from one of the rings or
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something. It's just always a dragon.
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Well, yeah, but I'm just saying she gets in dragon form.
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It's not like a shape shifting. At least I know that it'd be
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you'd be in Dragon for me to be like, hey that's that's, you
10:58
know actually like Malfacent. It's like just answer the
11:01
question, would you like to drag?
11:04
Gun to my head maybe. Depends, I don't know.
11:07
I think you like. I think, like, are you saying
11:09
like that you would you would do it only if there was a gun to
11:13
your head. Because you like that kind of
11:14
kinky, like, gun to your head. You're fucking a dragon.
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You could die. Fucking Dragon decision just
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makes it like it makes it hotter with the.
11:21
Guns to save my life. I'd do it, dude, you little
11:23
pervert. I mean, I guess it's.
11:26
I just wanted to bring the gun. Or if it's a dragon.
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Like, hey, if you don't do this, I'm gonna eat you and burn you
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alive. No, no, no.
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This was consensual. Oh, probably not.
11:35
I don't think I can get seduced by a dragon.
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I'd probably be scared shitless. OK, well, it was always
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consensual. You always had to.
11:45
You walked up on a dragon and the Dragon's like, hey, yeah,
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no, probably not then. Have to be like in peril, in
11:53
danger. Like the only way we can get out
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of here is if you fuck this dragon.
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I'd be like, all right, I guess, what?
12:04
Save everyone else's I think I I had an idea that's a that was a
12:07
quick backtrack. I'm gonna go ahead and say
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you've thought about fucking Dragons before, and you
12:12
definitely, definitely would. You definitely would.
12:15
Nah, I haven't thought about it. But because what type of damage
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are you going to do to a dragon with?
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Dragons are fucking huge damage. It's gonna, it's it's gonna
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literally, it's literally just going to like you're gonna make
12:30
sweet, sweet left to it. Why do you drink?
12:35
No. Is that what you're saying?
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Yeah, maybe. You know, like, well, if I'm if
12:40
we're fucking a dragon, why not? But no, what I am saying is
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there's nothing you like. That that's not even practical.
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The dragon would be like, get out of here.
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It would probably kill you. I don't know how you're able to
12:54
seduce the dragon. That's some weird shit.
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I don't know dude, but I think you would figure it out.
13:01
That's some like some like Shape of Water type shit.
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I'm serious. I was like, in this.
13:08
That was one of the first movies my dad watched after his stroke,
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when he was still, like, kind of incapacitated but alert.
13:16
And he loved it. He cried.
13:20
Really. Damn, dude, don't you have that
13:25
soft spot? Oh man.
13:27
OK, so Joseph would definitely, definitely fucking Dragon.
13:31
Where are you? Are you gonna fuck the dragon?
13:32
No, I don't. Believe you?
13:38
No. That was a setup, bro, because I
13:41
just knew that you, like you, have these tendencies not to
13:45
expose you. Got me.
13:48
OK, final therapy question, Therapy question #4.
13:52
If you were to receive a nude massage from a Samesex
13:56
celebrity, who would you pick and why?
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You can answer this one first, and I'm curious, so these aren't
14:05
from ChatGPT? No, they're not.
14:10
They're just coming up with them.
14:11
If you were to receive a massage, new massage, what kind
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of a question is that? That's the question.
14:20
Therapy question. It's a great one.
14:23
These are questions that that put you in therapy.
14:30
Would it be man, I'll go first Jean-Claude Van Damme because I
14:35
feel like that he would like know how to like like give you
14:38
like a like a legit massage He'd.
14:41
Be so coked out of his mind? Exactly.
14:44
And like, just like he's short, so you'd just be, like, rubbing
14:47
all over your sides, having a hard time to reach you on the
14:50
top of the flexible. Let's come on that we.
14:52
Can yeah, we're we're getting a lot of you'd be doing a lot of
14:55
like feet stuff. You'd be like this.
14:57
The splits on your back. All sorts of weird shit.
15:02
I don't know if that would be. That'd be interesting.
15:06
I think you'd walk. I think you'd.
15:07
I think you'd walk away being more hurt than you'd be.
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OK, that's what I'm looking and like really in a massage.
15:13
That's what I am looking for. It's like I want to like walk
15:15
away like like not feel right, but like feel good like the next
15:18
day that. Sounds like someone who would
15:21
fuck a dragon. Yeah, right, dude.
15:24
Cool, man. Celebrity.
15:26
Hmm, you're just mad because I got a good one.
15:34
No, I don't even know. I don't think that's a good one.
15:36
I think that's he's vainly coked out.
15:39
That would be a terrible focus. Or he'd like steal.
15:45
He'd be really into it. Yeah, too into it.
15:49
He'd steal all my shit and then help me look for it.
15:52
He'd be too. He'd be.
15:53
He'd be too fucking into it, man.
15:56
Like I'll help you look fat. Meanwhile, it's like, you know,
15:59
you sold it for more Coke. So am I nude or is the masseuse
16:04
news both? What?
16:07
Why are we both naked? No, no, it's just it's you.
16:10
You are. Oh, but I'm under a towel, all
16:13
right. If I had to pick somebody, have
16:20
to be someone who's got good stories, that'd be the most
16:22
awkward shit ever, huh? Probably Arnold.
16:33
Yeah, yeah, Arnold, man. He'd like break every bone in
16:36
your back. You'd walk away different and
16:39
he'd be talking about all sorts of crazy shit.
16:43
Yeah, that's true. He would like, yeah, that's a
16:45
good one, 'cause he'd be a lot more of a.
16:47
'Cause you could calm Jean, Yeah, like, he would have the
16:50
same benefits that Jean-Claude Van Damme could bring as far as,
16:54
like, knowing how your body works.
16:57
But yeah, it would be much, much, much more under like, like
17:02
it'd be much more constrained and all.
17:05
Yeah, it wouldn't. Yeah, he wouldn't be.
17:08
He would tell you stories about how they used to do drugs, like
17:12
Jean Claude Van Dam would show up probably on drugs.
17:16
Like would you let him do a line off of your body?
17:19
Jean-Claude Van Damme, if he has to Do you want to do a rail from
17:24
your from your nipples to your belly?
17:28
Button No. What the hell?
17:31
I mean, he's great and hard to kill and I wish he wasn't all
17:34
and he wasn't all coked out, but you shunk on, man.
17:37
Damn like nuts. He's fucking wild.
17:41
Whenever he shot the movie JCBD and he played himself while
17:47
directing his own movie, that is like that is like the most coked
17:53
out shit I've ever heard. I want to make a movie and I
17:57
want to direct it and I'm going to play myself.
17:59
That's. Because it's not like it's
18:04
what's it. It's not like it's Curb where
18:06
everybody like act like plays some hyperbolic version of
18:10
themselves or whatever. So he's like the only person
18:13
every It's like this is the real world and this is me in the real
18:16
world and everyone else is like playing some role and now I got
18:19
to murder all these. It's like the stupidest shit
18:21
you've ever seen. It's like, that's not real life.
18:24
It's like if Curb Your Enthusiasm was like an action
18:27
movie JCVD. It's He's just for life.
18:37
I guess, man, I love him. But no, I mean I would not want
18:42
to be locked alone and naked in a dark room with John Claude Bay
18:45
and rails off of your body. Yeah, no, I.
18:48
Because Arnold would just tell crazy stories and honor
18:51
Arnold's. You know, it's Arnold be like,
18:54
hey, he's like, don't touch me. Yeah, well, that's not the
18:59
point. I don't know.
18:59
You're supposed to touch me. You're the masseuse.
19:02
I will break every bone. Yeah, go to break your back in
19:09
half. Take off your pants like that.
19:12
We are your clothes. Give them to me.
19:15
Maybe Epic. Can you do a Jean-Claude Van
19:18
Damme? No, I don't have a Jean.
19:22
I don't have anyone that's a Jean-Claude Van Damme.
19:24
Impersonation. Yeah, yeah.
19:26
I don't have to like go downtown and like go to some dive bar and
19:30
get some shitty coke and then like, well, hopefully like he
19:34
would go downtown when he was like massaging me, you know what
19:37
I'm saying? You work it all out, dude.
19:41
He's a stretch expert. So you'd walk away more limber
19:44
than you and you went in that room.
19:45
That's Oh yeah, some blood sport, baby.
19:49
He's good Lord, you get throw some of that shit in my eyes and
19:53
I just go blind and then you know, OK y'all we're done with
20:00
therapy questions on to the topics on the notes that got a
20:05
little messed up so I didn't see what the first What's the 1st?
20:11
Well, you typed over It's Ron DeSantis crashed his fucking car
20:15
unhurt after a car accident. Tennessee also talk shit about
20:20
Ron De Santis right now, because he's just like hemorrhaging
20:22
money, firing people like crazy. Apparently he was cruising
20:26
around on his campaign trail in Chattanooga, TN, and like they
20:30
wrecked the wrecked his car, and a female staff staff member
20:33
received minor injuries. But Ron De Santis is thanking,
20:37
and he's still supposedly the second leading candidate.
20:40
I know, but I told you, man. I told you.
20:42
Like he has. He does not have the juice.
20:45
The meatballs are dry. Homie, this guy.
20:48
And he, yeah, he just got rid of a third of his campaign staff
20:52
and he is like literally out of all money.
20:55
And then they're like they're they're a little shakeup is what
20:58
they call it. And the shakeup is let's let Ron
21:01
be Ron. Well, that's the fucking
21:03
problem. Y'all like when you have to
21:05
write like on your notebook. Be likeable when you go up and
21:08
give a speech. Letting Ron be Ron is the
21:11
fucking problem. The student is just he's.
21:15
He's not prime time, baby. He's not prime time.
21:17
No, I don't even think it's something He's not prime time.
21:19
I think he's fucking I They won't.
21:21
OK, so maybe he's not prime time.
21:23
He's also extremist. Fuck.
21:25
And an idiot. Right.
21:28
And like this whole thing, like, Let's make America Florida, it's
21:31
like nobody outside of Florida wants that.
21:33
Like like that's the. Dumbest fucking thing I've ever
21:36
heard is if you came and told somebody in California, hey,
21:40
let's make America Florida, we'd be like, get the fuck out of
21:44
here. Like like Florida is a
21:45
laughingstock joke. Like to the rest of America,
21:48
like, why would we want that? Yeah, sorry for it.
21:53
No, I mean, and I've said this for a long time, like, I think I
21:56
said this back in the day when we were younger, I was like,
21:59
dude, Florida is like one of the worst places in the entire
22:03
world. It's hot, it's muggy.
22:04
There's like snakes and lizards and shit that just roam around
22:08
all wild. The Everglades are there where
22:12
you can just get eaten the fuck up by alligators, crocodiles of
22:15
shit with wild teeth. It's just not a good.
22:18
Place now there's a six week abortion ban and you can't.
22:22
This is before. There was.
22:23
I know, but I'm saying now add in all the Rhonda, yeah, it's
22:26
just like and then there's sinkholes.
22:28
Like I remember there's a video of of the one of the Corvette
22:32
Hall of Fame's in a sinkhole opens up underneath the showroom
22:36
floor on this like CCTV footage and you watch just like 50 rare
22:41
as fuck Corvettes just fall down the sinkhole and just vanish
22:46
into the darkness. And it's like then there was a
22:49
what people's houses have been eaten alive by singles.
22:53
Florida is the one of the most dangerous places that exists on
22:56
the entire planet. It's essentially the Australia.
23:00
Of the United States, and it has been for a long time and it's
23:03
shaped like a Dick. It's a big peninsula.
23:05
Nothing good happens on big peninsula.
23:08
Everybody knows that and it's like that's.
23:10
Written in stone. That's like etched in the
23:15
Sumerian tablets. Like that's you don't do that.
23:18
So I'm just not. I mean, this is what I told you
23:22
about Ron DeSantis. I told you I was more afraid of
23:25
him than I was Donald Trump. Not that he would win, that his
23:28
policies are just like Uber extreme and he's like a fucking
23:31
dictator now. Trump's talking like a dictator.
23:34
He's talking more like we've heard Ron DeSantis speak when
23:37
he's just like basically, oh, if you guys lock me up, it's going
23:40
to be big fucking problems. You're going to have trouble.
23:43
That'll be real dangerous. That's like, yeah, him saying
23:46
that is wild as fun, but he's saying those types of things.
23:49
So, you know, but De Santis has been saying these types of
23:53
things for forever. He's nuts.
23:55
I mean, do you think he gets reelected as governor if he
23:58
fails on his presidential attempt?
24:02
Well, because remember, didn't he get elected because he took
24:05
like a million people off of the voter ballots?
24:07
Like, you know, it's like that's what these guys do is just like
24:10
they'll like rig it when they're, you know, like the
24:13
governor. They have the governor camp in
24:15
Georgia. You know, like when he was going
24:17
against Stacey Abrams. Oh, yeah, they said that they
24:20
had to drop two more districts that were majority black.
24:23
And then in Texas, they're having to drop like potentially
24:25
like 6 more districts that are minority based districts in the
24:30
state of Texas. But if these, if these would
24:32
have existed before, they might have, those districts might have
24:36
like flipped. So I was adding those seats or
24:38
flip houses. So it's like it's.
24:40
And and then in Alabama, the Supreme Court told them they had
24:44
to do it like they had to redistrict it so that there was
24:47
2 black districts. And they they said no to the
24:51
Supreme Court. Like, what the fuck is that?
24:53
They they only have one and then another one that's 40% black
24:57
because they just couldn't get to the 51.
25:02
Ridiculous, Alabama. Ridiculous.
25:05
Are you surprised, though? But no.
25:07
I mean so. Ron De Santis is like a fish out
25:10
of water just flopping around about to take his last breath.
25:13
Or he already did. He just doesn't realize it.
25:15
Firing at 2/3 of his entire staff.
25:20
I don't know. I mean, do you think he even
25:21
makes it to the debates? I want to see a Trump to Santis,
25:26
like debate. Yeah.
25:28
So bad because they're. Because Trump's going to be so
25:32
high strung. He's going to be like, I'm here
25:34
between he. That's why he's going to have to
25:36
go to debates, because they're going to talk about him being in
25:39
an indictment in his ongoing trials and all of this shit, and
25:44
he's just not going to show up to defend himself.
25:46
Trump's going to maybe miss the first debate, maybe, and then
25:50
Christie's going to be grilling him to Santis is going to be
25:53
like meatballs. And then next thing you know,
25:57
it's then Trump. They're going to talk shit about
25:59
him. Trump's going to show up to the
26:01
second debate and go and go. That's my prediction.
26:05
It's going to turn into a Trump town hall.
26:07
It's not even going to be a debate.
26:08
It's going to turn into some Trump town hall shit where he's
26:11
just going to take control of me, like, wait, hold on a
26:13
second. Let me finish my thought.
26:14
You let them speak. I need to speak.
26:16
Thank you. Yeah, I mean, we've seen him
26:18
debate before, but I totally agree with you that if he does
26:23
miss the first one, his ego just won't let him miss another one.
26:26
It's just it's going to be weird.
26:28
Like I don't know if like how many people.
26:31
You know, there's a lot of people I haven't even qualified
26:33
like won't qualify for this debate.
26:35
It seems like like the the one dude from North Dakota, he paid
26:41
people to donate to his campaign.
26:44
So you give you a $20.00 gift certificate if you like, donated
26:47
a dollar. Yeah, I saw that.
26:49
Yeah. And so he made the debate.
26:52
It's a good for him, I guess. I mean, because it's better
26:55
that. I mean, I thought it was easier
26:56
than spending like, money on advertisement, right?
26:59
Yeah, because people aren't going to, people aren't wanting
27:02
to go up against Trump, except for DeSantis and then a
27:05
Christie. I could see.
27:07
Like, I I'd say I want to see them all be on the debate stage.
27:11
I think they'd be funny. Then Pence will be there.
27:14
Will he be there? You know, and Christie will be
27:17
like he tried to get you killed. That's be like, oh, where's
27:21
mother? Pence hasn't qualified for the
27:24
debate. Where are you, Mother?
27:26
Well, they'll just throw him in there.
27:27
They'll just like. He's the He's like the reigning
27:31
vice president of the Republican Party, and he can't even make
27:34
the debate. Good job.
27:35
Well, that's where you. Know we'll see them.
27:38
We'll see them change the rules so it takes less to qualify for
27:42
the debate, especially like on the right overtime.
27:45
No, they actually no. They becomes more and more like
27:48
stringent like as as it goes on you have to have more shit well
27:52
because if Trump let's say he runs and loses he could still
27:54
run again can. If he's alive and out of prison,
28:00
he's old man and he has so far 71 felony counts that he's
28:07
facing. And we're not done counting.
28:09
We're not done counting counts 123 slaps.
28:15
It's like a two. It's like A to be continued
28:18
episode of 7th Heaven. It's just like, oh shit, what's
28:21
going to happen next? But I mean, so De Santis.
28:25
No chance, says Governor Vice president VV.
28:30
What are we going to? What is he going to do?
28:31
VP pick. No.
28:34
Who would want him around? He's not likable like, well, you
28:39
want De Santis. Like if you just remember if he
28:42
writes it on his hand and he remembers to be likable.
28:46
He's an idiot. But like, I don't want De Santis
28:48
anywhere near like me, you know, if I'm anybody.
28:54
Especially if I'm his wife. Is he worse?
28:56
Is is he worse than Marco Rubio there?
29:02
Is he the worst Florida politician we've ever seen?
29:06
That's Yeah. Are we counting Trump as a
29:08
Florida politician now or not? No, because he claimed New York.
29:12
Right, right. Right.
29:14
Let's see. I mean, there's Rubio.
29:17
I mean that. There are other senators, like
29:20
the biggest piece of shit ever he had.
29:22
Like the biggest Medicare fraud scandal ever.
29:25
Remember, he used to be the governor.
29:26
He looks like a crazy person with bald like, alien.
29:30
What's his name? Yeah, that guy sucks.
29:36
I know who you're talking about. But yeah, they got Rick Scott.
29:40
Yeah, Rick Scott. Yeah, damn, You know, so like.
29:43
The The pool is deep when it comes to Florida politicians
29:48
being scumbags. Yeah.
29:50
But I mean, Ron DeSantis is trying to, like, rewrite African
29:53
history. Like, well, you know, they
29:54
gained some skills from slavery. That is the wildest stance.
30:02
They got skills, They learned carpentry.
30:06
And you're like, what? What?
30:10
Let me take you to let me take you to a camp where you're never
30:13
allowed to leave. I mean, let me make you my slave
30:17
and treat you horribly. And you know your great
30:22
grandkids will learn how to build shit with rocks.
30:25
What the fuck? Like, get the fuck out of here.
30:28
That's such a outlandish take, and it's all supposedly it's
30:33
small in the history book, but to say that they have to include
30:36
that they gain skills from being enslaved is so ridiculous.
30:41
Do you think it started off like as a bizarro world?
30:46
Like Bizarro, Yeah. It is Bizarro world.
30:48
Yeah. I don't know like I I just wanna
30:51
know who like what that conversation was like to get
30:54
that that in there, you know, like who is involved?
30:58
Like, you know, yeah, well, you know, there's two sides to
31:01
slavery. I'm like, no, there's not.
31:05
Yeah. What You know what I think it is
31:07
it's like that they wanted. But they I heard somebody
31:10
arguing is saying like that they would that slaves would come up
31:14
with their own techniques that would help them do their slave
31:17
work better and they wanted to give credit to them for coming
31:21
up with those techniques. And that's what like somebody
31:24
was trying to say and it's like OK, well what it's yeah.
31:30
It was like that. They, like, wanted to like, you
31:34
want to give credit to all, Yeah.
31:36
That the slaves are the ones. The black man that was bought at
31:39
a market came up with this. You know what knows his name.
31:42
And if he had a name, it was a judeo-christian name that was
31:45
bestowed upon him against his will.
31:47
But he came up. He You know what?
31:49
I was so tired of watching my slaves get tired out there
31:52
picking cotton. Then I came up with the cotton
31:54
gin to make everything more efficient.
31:57
What is that Eli Whitney? That's right.
31:59
Yeah, your. Boy knows hard flex.
32:02
One of these days you might have to pay these guys.
32:04
I need to come up with a different way to do this.
32:08
Yeah, I don't know. Terrible.
32:11
Terrible. Terrible.
32:13
No, that's a no, that's a really, that's a really, really
32:16
bad take. I mean, I think there's some
32:18
things in history where there's like not really like the
32:22
opposite argument where it's the same like in the audio recording
32:27
from South Lake whenever, you know, a couple years ago,
32:29
whenever it was. Oh, they have the opposing side
32:33
of the Holocaust. It's like what?
32:35
Like like like that's such a like like, I don't, I don't even
32:41
know what to say to that. Like there's teachers who are
32:43
like, Oh my God, it's like what it there is no in the history
32:47
sake and being like a human and not treating other humans in the
32:53
worst ways possible. There's only one side to that,
32:57
and if you disagree, right, I mean.
32:59
Yeah, I mean there's there's something that's actually
33:01
happened. And so therefore there's not two
33:03
sides to history, even though everybody will say there is, you
33:06
know, there's like and then history is written by the
33:10
winners. You know, there's truth to that.
33:12
But I mean. The Holocaust.
33:14
Because as well, the thing with the Holocaust is that there is
33:17
all these, like conspiracy theories about it not ever
33:20
happening. And so therefore you had like
33:22
that especially has to get nipped in the butt.
33:24
That's actually illegal to deny the Holocaust in Germany, by the
33:27
way. So you don't eat like they don't
33:29
throw your ass in jail if you fucking say shit like that,
33:32
yeah? And that's where it happened.
33:36
Yeah, it's wild. It's wild.
33:40
It's wild. That's so wild to me.
33:44
So that you know, I learned how to be a good stoneman soon about
33:48
when I was doing my slave and what?
33:52
Yeah, Good job. DeSantis again.
33:55
You know what, You treated me terribly but I but hey, thanks
33:58
for the thanks for the carpentry skills.
34:01
I really appreciate it guys. I'm out.
34:03
Well, I think what happened was, it's like that he thought like
34:08
that. He got his.
34:09
Position in Florida by being like extreme.
34:12
And that would translate over to a presidential election, because
34:16
everybody was like to Santis, De Santis, De Santis.
34:18
He's like, let me just keep doing what I'm doing, let me
34:20
just double down on being crazy. And it's like, well, that shit
34:23
doesn't sell, you know, like in any other state, you know, like
34:27
maybe down in Alabama. I think the.
34:29
Yeah, I think the crazy table is kind of full too.
34:32
I don't think there's like enough room for Ron DeSantis at
34:35
the crazy table because you already on the table.
34:39
Yeah. Bober.
34:39
Yeah. Bobs.
34:40
You got Marjorie Taylor Green. You got fucking Matt Gates.
34:47
Yeah, Matt Gates. Mr. Giggity Giggity.
34:51
He's on there and he's in potentially, you know, like,
34:54
yeah, old schoolers like fucking Chuck Grassley.
34:57
Chuck Grassley Cruz. Yeah, you got some wild
35:00
motherfuckers. I, Rand Paul, all these like the
35:03
crazy tables deep. I don't know if there's enough
35:05
room at the crazy table. No, I mean, there's a room I
35:08
just don't like. He's just missing the mark.
35:12
It's like nobody gives a like, you're that.
35:14
Maybe they give a shit about that as governor, but you're the
35:17
president, bro. Like, you know, like.
35:21
Talk about some presidential shit.
35:25
You know he's playing small and then but so and he's calling you
35:31
out dude. Goody calling you out, dude.
35:32
I know. And then when they asked him,
35:33
like, about Ukraine, he's like, oh, that's a regional conflict.
35:36
It's like, OK, we're yeah, we're done here, dude.
35:38
We're done. We're done.
35:41
That's regional, Yeah. All right, dude, could he say
35:46
here? All right, Article #2.
35:48
Elon Musk right to ditch the bird logo.
35:52
So he's going to XI normally tweet out whenever we do the
35:55
show, but it wouldn't even let me tweet it out anymore.
35:58
It just connected my shit. I.
36:00
Mean we do talk a lot of shit, you know.
36:02
So it's well, no, I doubt he didn't disconnect my Twitter.
36:06
It's just on my app. I can't my streaming platform
36:09
it's like so. Is Why is is this real?
36:12
Because like, So what? What we're saying here is that
36:16
Twitter as of today, July 25th. Or was it yesterday that think
36:22
it's still in the process of happening?
36:24
They've changed the Twitter's name completely to the letter X
36:30
and no longer is it tweeting, it's axing.
36:34
I don't think that's real. That swear to God, it is 100%
36:39
real. And he said he wasn't going to
36:42
do it until he got a good logo. Well, they got a logo.
36:44
It sucks. Looks like a little like
36:45
Confederate flaggie to me. But I mean.
36:50
Everybody, like, remember we were talking shit about changing
36:53
HBO to Max when like everybody like loves HBO.
36:57
This this is the bigger, a bigger fuck up.
37:00
Like he changed the logo. Like everybody knows what the
37:02
logo looks like, like the Twitter bird, you know, like
37:06
you're changing the logo. Everybody knows what Twitter is
37:08
around the world. Like brands spend like 1,000,000
37:14
in decades, millions of dollars in decades to try to get like
37:17
brand recognition. And he just lives like, fuck it,
37:22
Twitter. So supposedly he's he used to
37:26
own the rights to x.com. Right, That was the original
37:29
company was X and he wanted to he wanted to name make PayPal X
37:34
something and. Right.
37:36
Well no. Like he like his original
37:38
company was called X Something and he they joined with another
37:43
company and that's they became PayPal and then SpaceX, Bishop.
37:51
He named one of his kids X. Yeah, A on Flex or whatever his
37:55
fucking kids name is. I don't fucking know.
37:58
But seriously, dude, another fuck up?
38:02
Yeah, I mean he's fucking up again, man.
38:03
I don't the. Brand equity that he just like
38:05
destroyed is just like advertising revenue.
38:09
Advertising revenue has dropped by half, Mr. Musk said this
38:12
month, as a big as big brands pull back, weary of changes that
38:15
he's made, including how the firm handles verified accounts
38:19
and moderator and moderates content.
38:21
Abrupt layoffs and unpaid bills have led to the to bad breasts
38:25
and lawsuits estimates Estimates by Fidelity, which is a stake
38:29
which has a stake in the company, suggests it's now worth
38:32
just a third of the 44 billion that must pay for Twitter.
38:37
In October, Consulting Brand Finance recently estimated that
38:41
the the firm's brand was worth 3.9 billion, down 32% from last
38:46
year, a fall attributed to must aggressive business approaches.
38:51
So it's worth 3.9 billion and. He paid 44 billion, is that
38:56
right? Yeah.
38:57
But I mean, do you think he was just trying to burn it to the
38:59
ground? No, I think that he thought his
39:03
shit don't stink. He's on Twitter all the time.
39:06
Of course he could figure it out.
39:07
Let's just you know. And then what happened was the
39:14
value of Twitter was already it would not worth what he was
39:16
going to try to buy it for before he even bought it, right?
39:19
And so then it was like, remember, like he tried to get
39:22
out of it and then he had to go to court.
39:24
So, like, it wasn't like this. Like he ended up having to pay
39:27
what he originally offered for it.
39:29
Right. But it was like under under
39:30
duress he had to pay like, like, you know, speaking a gun to the
39:33
head like he like they he was forced to buy it as opposed to
39:36
like when it originally was talked about where it was like,
39:39
oh, I'm going to buy Twitter and it's going to be, you know, it's
39:41
like it was like the opposite of a hostile takeover.
39:43
They're like, you have to buy this now, you know?
39:46
Yeah, they're like, well, you signed some paperwork that says
39:49
that you can't back out. If you do, you're gonna, you're
39:52
gonna pay, have to pay for it. And then now you have to pay it.
39:55
So you've had to pay it. Right.
39:56
It was like it was like he was fucking kitchen sink.
39:59
Yeah, it was like it was on Maury and you know, they're
40:01
like, yeah, you are the father, you know, it was like he didn't
40:04
want the kid. He like, he was like, ah fuck,
40:06
like you had to get taken on a talk show like, you know, and
40:10
like have like paternity test as to like have Twitter.
40:13
So it already started off on a bad foot.
40:14
Then he started firing everybody and like and then it's just like
40:17
a bit of cluster 5%. No, it'd be like Mauri.
40:21
But for like the last three weeks before he went on Mari, he
40:24
was like pretending like the kid was his and helping out of it.
40:28
And then went there and was like, I don't want this kid.
40:31
And then it's like, no, it's your kid.
40:33
And now he's like, fuck, I have to like, keep doing what I've
40:35
been doing because he was talking about buying it for
40:38
forever. Yeah, I think it was.
40:41
I think he's a moron when it comes to stuff like this and
40:44
it's literally him trying to buy a platform, be cool, wanting to
40:48
own some sort of media platform cuz he's already got outer
40:51
space, he's already got all this government bucks so he wants.
40:55
To be He has the Midas touch where it's like, no matter what,
40:57
it's gonna work out. Yeah, he wants to be way more
40:59
like a fucking Murdoch than or, you know, than he does himself.
41:05
Right. Well, social media is hard.
41:08
Turns out most fucking social media things fail, and it's a
41:12
lot different than. Tesla and SpaceX I'm sorry.
41:15
And PayPal like so and so the X thing is like now it's going to
41:19
be this like brand did you see what their fucking like C quote
41:24
CEO but she's not really the CEO Linda Yakorino tweeted out and
41:30
she was like it it was exactly like succession.
41:33
Whenever they're in the very beginning of the last season,
41:35
when they're coming up with, I forget like their new business
41:38
and they're like, it's like, you know, Washington Post meets
41:41
BuzzFeed. Meets meets Snapchat.
41:45
Yeah, Like, whatever. No, it was like the 100 or
41:48
whatever they were working on. Yeah.
41:50
And it was like 8, you know, 18 different things that were like,
41:53
popular. You know, it's like TikTok
41:55
meets, you know, whatever. The fuck The New York Times,
41:59
That's what, like, she literally tweeted out today.
42:01
If you could like, like, I don't know if you could pull it up or
42:03
not, but, like, it's insane. She's like, it's going to be
42:06
business and finance and journalism, you know, It's like,
42:10
what? You don't know what you're like.
42:11
You're. Just don't believe about it.
42:16
Yeah, I mean this is a much needed rebranding because of the
42:20
strategic redirection of Twitter, he told the BBC.
42:23
But success becomes less likely when a company company is in
42:27
turmoil. Marketing professor at Boston
42:30
University. Question from School of
42:32
Business, She said That especially a risky move given
42:34
all the social media competitors, such as threads
42:37
rushing to fill Twitter's boys rebranding is likely to confirm
42:42
the fear of many Twitter users that the acquisition by Musk
42:46
signaled the end of Twitter as they knew it.
42:50
I'll tell you, Twitter is fucking weird now, man.
42:52
Twitter is fucking wild as shit. There's some goofy shit that
42:55
goes on on Twitter. Right.
42:57
So, so many people have never followed, never seen before
43:01
sitting in wild stuff. Don't you think this is the
43:06
worst time that you could do? It is like, right when threads
43:09
came out, cuz now it's just gonna be like now it's not even
43:11
Twitter called Twitter anymore. So now all the diehards that
43:14
we're holding on to, like the, like the last, you know, breath,
43:18
it's like now that it gives them permission to, like, move on.
43:21
Yeah, I mean, I was gonna keep using Twitter just to keep it,
43:24
but now it's like, now I'm just gonna delete it.
43:26
And I wasn't even gonna make the threads.
43:28
Now I'm gonna make the threads or something.
43:29
There you go. Boom.
43:31
Like cuz I'm like it's not gonna be the same anymore.
43:34
Well, it's already not the same, right?
43:36
And the only thing is that it's still called Twitter.
43:40
Yeah, no, it's not even called Twitter anymore.
43:42
So it's like it's not the same product.
43:45
If it's not even called the same, it doesn't look the same.
43:47
It's not, you know, but not run by the same people.
43:49
So it's like why would any of these people would have been on
43:51
Twitter, you know, for the last like 15 years or whatever It's
43:53
been 14 years, you know, still stick on.
43:56
I don't know. I don't know, bro.
44:00
It looks like Elon BI don't know man.
44:03
That's that's hard to lose 44 billion that quick.
44:06
Yeah. I mean So what do you think the
44:07
future of X is? Do you think it just continues
44:09
to bottom out and fizzles out or do you think he's able to
44:12
salvage it in some way? I mean, I don't think it's, I
44:18
think it'll be something, you know, because he'll have like
44:21
the money to like keep it going, but I, you know.
44:27
He he wants it to be like some super app and so it's like,
44:30
dude, you can't even, you can't even handle Twitter.
44:33
Are you gonna make it like like, yeah, you moving on things.
44:36
We went on a truck for like 3 years bitch.
44:38
Which you talking about? Exactly.
44:41
And then the one that they rolled off the assembly line had
44:43
like crooked doors and shit like they weren't even lined up was
44:46
kind of funny. Right.
44:48
Yeah. And maybe that's like because I
44:50
don't know, you know, probably completely unrelated, but.
44:54
The problem with Twitter before Elon got there that we always
44:56
used to make fun of on this podcast was that Jack Dorsey
45:00
was, you know, also CEO of at the time was called Square.
45:05
But they changed it to. Now it's called Block and he's
45:07
spending most of his time over there.
45:09
And we used to make fun of him be like.
45:10
That's why Twitter, you know, isn't like, you know hitting
45:13
gangbusters like Facebook did, you know?
45:16
And all these like in Amazon and all like because they always
45:20
used to compare Twitter was like supposed to be like.
45:22
In by competition with Facebook, Snapchat, you know all of that.
45:28
And it just never was like never got to that market cap and it
45:31
was like, well Jack Dorsey could like, you know, either just
45:34
leave and have a full time CEO running it or just be full time
45:37
CEO, maybe they could turn shit around.
45:40
Well then Elon took over and it's just like he's got what
45:44
he's got SpaceX and then Tesla and so is he a full time CEO.
45:47
And if he is, like, maybe that's the fucking problem.
45:51
Because he's just destroying it like one, like piece by piece,
45:54
like putting a limit on how many tweets and then changing the
45:57
name and like allowing all these like, right wing like crazy
46:01
people on there. You know, just I saw on Twitter
46:06
episodes today Tucker Carlson and Ice Cube.
46:12
Tucker Carlson had Ice Cube as a guest today.
46:16
I didn't watch it. I probably will, because it
46:18
sounds ridiculous. So yeah, Ice Cube and Tucker
46:21
Carlson live on Twitter. I wonder what they talking
46:24
about. Probably a.
46:26
Free plug for you Twitter And what is it on Twitter now?
46:30
Or is it like? Well, it's on xx.com and the
46:33
other day xvidsxvids.com was trending for a while on Twitter.
46:38
Like all day. It was funny.
46:40
Because everything's in a Twitter video is now an Xvideos.
46:45
Oh my God. When they also which is like the
46:48
largest porn, yeah porn site in the world.
46:51
Well, they switched it to x.com and then when you would go
46:53
there, it would just go to a GoDaddy like, you know, like
46:56
whatever, like so like the website wasn't even up.
47:00
Yeah. Or now it redirects you to
47:03
redirects you to Twitter. Well yeah, I figured it would,
47:06
but it wasn't working for a second.
47:10
Stupid. Yeah, and if you want to compare
47:12
it to like Facebook changing to meta, will they change the
47:15
parent company into meta? They still call Facebook.
47:17
Facebook. You know, they still go
47:18
Instagram. Instagram.
47:20
Yeah. All right.
47:22
Last Article 8 search warrants issued in Trump classified
47:26
documents case new filing. Its prosecutors argued that
47:31
seven additional warrants should be kept secret.
47:36
They search warrants and affidavits for file in
47:38
connection with the federal case involving former President
47:40
Trump's handling of classified documents, which results in a
47:44
slew of criminal charges against him.
47:46
So it seems like there was way there's there's so much more to
47:52
all the story. I mean, do they dig up his dead
47:54
wife's grave? Are there Is there stuff in the
47:56
grave? OK, well, yeah, for those people
47:59
who don't know, Trump buried his exwife like.
48:05
On his bed, Minister Golf course for tax purposes.
48:11
How do you get a tax break for that?
48:13
I swear to God it was for tax purposes.
48:16
I don't know why, like, I'm not a fucking accountant, but I had
48:20
somebody explain it when I first heard it.
48:24
It's amazing. But people think that, like,
48:27
documents are buried there. That's insane.
48:29
I don't know, you think? No, I don't know why would there
48:33
be, Why would there or wouldn't there?
48:36
Yeah, well, like, if you're going to bury some documents,
48:39
wouldn't you bury the ones with all, like, nuclear secrets and
48:41
not like, I mean, like, how much worse could he possibly get?
48:44
Well, but that's what I think some of the documents he's
48:46
talked about, they haven't recovered.
48:48
So on the article. And he's like, I have war plans
48:51
for how we're going to blow up Iran.
48:54
Look, they're liars. This one's my argument, like
48:57
that document. They don't have it so that the
49:00
document he's waving around in the air, nobody's seen it since
49:04
that meeting. That's how they're like, dude,
49:06
you have more shit. He's like, I have no idea what
49:08
you're talking about. So these search warrants that
49:13
have they been executed yet or these are just issued emotions
49:18
were found in connection with the ongoing efforts?
49:20
So I think what that meant about emotions that must be developed
49:24
to New Jersey. Yeah.
49:26
Well there's eight of them filed a motion last month with the
49:30
federal court overseeing the case requesting permission to
49:33
disclose the warrants that accompanying documents legal
49:35
team. So the motion was unsealed
49:39
Tuesday across here. So they're not publicly for the
49:42
contents locations. So man it sounds like they
49:50
they've already done it. We just don't know what they
49:52
pulled from these. And that's where there's more
49:55
information. When I as we've had these leaks
49:58
on like the documents case at least, and we hear more and more
50:02
all this stuff and there's other people confirming or they're
50:04
like, yeah, I was in the room and that happened or I heard
50:06
that conversation. The as this more comes out, I'm
50:09
sure some of it's from these other search warrants.
50:13
So they executed a search warrant on Mar A Lago is what
50:16
it's saying. And then they executed 8 other
50:18
search warrants in connection with that, that we just haven't
50:22
known that, we just haven't known about.
50:24
Yeah, I mean, I always thought like, you know, they weren't
50:26
going to give nearly all evidence out on that on that
50:29
indictment. You know, they got them
50:32
literally on video running around practicing for when
50:38
people came for the documents. Then they have video of them
50:41
actually doing it. They caught them in this same
50:45
video trying to doctor the video.
50:48
So they were able to, like, undo whatever the fuck they did to
50:52
this video to watch the full thing.
50:54
And they and they're like, but you obviously, like, cut shit
50:59
out like there's a time stamp on it.
51:01
It goes from noon to 8:00 to 9:00 PM What happened to all
51:05
this time? Like they cut shit out and I got
51:10
tampering with the surveillance video that they subpoenaed of
51:14
them running fucking fire drills of documents.
51:19
He's going to prison, man. I know, like, like everybody.
51:23
I mean, who was I just talking? My brother is just convinced
51:26
that he's definitely not. You know what We're talking.
51:29
You would suck, though, if you had to be the Secret Service.
51:34
Like agents who have to, like, hang out with him in prison.
51:36
Like, fuck that. I guess that'd be pretty cush.
51:40
What? You have to go to prison every
51:41
day. Yeah, you'd have to go to prison
51:43
every day. But people would like, but
51:45
people would. But people would leave you the
51:47
fuck alone. That'd be a cush.
51:49
People are going to be trying the Secret Service every day and
51:52
you'd be no. The Secret Service without guns
51:55
because you can't bring guns in a prison?
51:56
No, I've been guaranteed. I guess the, I guess the prison.
51:57
The Secret Service is allowed to.
52:00
Yeah. Yeah, that guy's there.
52:02
He's the fucking warden. Whoever, whatever.
52:04
Secret Service agents or standing around any warden would
52:08
be happy as fuck. Private ran for profit
52:11
Prisoners. You have to eat prison food.
52:13
You have to eat prison food. Or you.
52:15
No, they could bring your own lunch pail, bro.
52:16
You can eat whatever. Fuck you want.
52:18
You got Carl's Jr. across the street.
52:20
We'll get you a char. You're.
52:21
Gonna be eating in front of the other prisoners?
52:23
Hell yeah. No.
52:24
Those run shifts you'll be able to eat, hang on the guard
52:27
station. You'd be just telling stories,
52:29
you'd be flexing on everybody. You'd be like, Oh my God, I
52:33
cannot wait till like 2 months from now when I switch back over
52:35
to, like, the Obamas. Dude, that's a that's a dream.
52:38
That's a dream for, like, I'm in my late 40s and I'm about to
52:43
retire from being a Secret Service agent, so I'm going to
52:46
spend the next four years, like, guarding Trump in fucking.
52:51
I don't know, because then you would because hey, no one would
52:54
fuck with you. I'm talking about for that
52:57
person. If they did, that old man would
52:59
be like, I still got it. What I'm talking about for those
53:01
people, they would love that. They'd love the opportunity.
53:04
Then they'd walk around and tell wild fucking stories all day.
53:07
Guards would ask some stories. Prisoners would be like, hey,
53:12
they'd be, they'd be yapping a lot.
53:14
If you're watching Trump in fucking prison, you're going to
53:17
be talking. You're not.
53:18
Going to have a head on a swivel, head on a swivel.
53:22
We're gonna be going after Trump.
53:23
What do you mean they wouldn't fuck with him?
53:25
Are you kidding me, Trump? You'd be in solitary.
53:27
You'd be in solid. You'd be in solitary
53:29
confinement. Meanwhile, you could be like at
53:34
Martha's Vineyard, hanging out with the Obamas.
53:36
Like, you know also, but if it's the last, but it's if it's the
53:40
last, like two or three years of your act to do before you get to
53:42
retire. Yeah, I'd rather be chilling.
53:46
That would be chilling. You'd be chilling in prison just
53:49
standing around. Why would anybody want that?
53:53
Because who knows what else you're doing?
53:54
You give me following fucking, I don't know.
53:58
Lauren Bobert around? She doesn't get Secret Service.
54:02
Are you fucking kidding? In this, the horrible future she
54:06
does? She's vice president.
54:09
No. Would you hook up with her?
54:15
No. No.
54:16
But you would fuck that dragon though she's yeah, for sure but
54:19
she's but she's she's like mountain weird.
54:23
There's different types of like country weird and mountain weird
54:27
and not Appalachian mountain weird.
54:29
That's like hillbilly, like you know like that's like a whole
54:32
different genre when you're in the Rocky Mountain weird country
54:35
people they're pretty fucking weird dude.
54:38
That's that's not like you go to South Actual, South Park
54:42
Colorado, South Park County. You're out there.
54:45
You're like in like a screensaver.
54:47
And people are fucking strange. And I'm not.
54:50
I'm not trying to say that to be mean, but they're fucking
54:54
strange out there, man. And look, and I know I'm a black
54:57
guy, so of course when I'm wandering around the mountains
55:00
of Colorado, I'm getting strange looks already.
55:03
But they were strange before I showed up, like it was a parent.
55:07
When I stepped into the room, there was weird, strange shit
55:11
going on. And then I there's a break and
55:13
they were like, oh look, a Negro.
55:15
And then they got back to whatever weird, strange shit
55:18
they were doing. But you know she's from the
55:20
other side, the wrong side of the mountain.
55:23
Those people are fucking weird. Sometimes I just couldn't
55:26
different type of weird than Wyoming people because I feel
55:29
and when you live in Wyoming, it's so windy, it's like insane
55:33
and it get like -, 10 degrees and it's 65 mile an hour winds.
55:38
It's windy all year. So does we.
55:42
Like you're not gonna not be a strange person if you're walking
55:46
into like a 35 mile an hour wind your whole life and then you're
55:50
like, oh, I grew up in like Gillette WY, I already know
55:54
you're just fucking weird. And it's it's not necessarily
55:57
your fault. Like you've just literally my
55:59
God walking in a wind tunnel. Well, why were you that
56:03
compassionate? For people who like, live in
56:04
Florida? You know, it's not their fault.
56:06
They just were no. Because if you stay in Florida,
56:08
that's a choice, you know? You know.
56:11
Like, you might not, No. I think you're kind of trapped,
56:14
dude. I mean it's the winds are so
56:16
strong, like I don't know if planes can like take off.
56:20
I think you got to fly in. Private.
56:22
You drive. I think private And you drive
56:24
in, yeah. Oh yeah.
56:25
You got to break the sound barrier though, man.
56:27
Like it's like, you know, like it's lightspeed shit.
56:30
I think if you went in commercial like I think you
56:32
might go down to. Jackson Hole did is, Yeah, you
56:35
got to drive it. Yeah, you got to drive in.
56:38
Well, Yep. Fuck you, Colorado mountain
56:42
people. Fuck you, Wyoming.
56:43
Fuck you Florida. No, dude, if you just stay in
56:47
Florida, like you're staying in Florida, it's like totally, it's
56:52
totally a choice if you're staying in Florida.
56:55
And a lot of transplants anyways, and you know, so, but
56:59
they're like all like, oh, we live in the villages.
57:01
I'm like, yeah, you live in the villages.
57:03
You got the clap, you drive a clap, you drive around a golf
57:06
cart and like, you just like say racist that you.
57:10
It's like you have Tourette's but just yelling out racist shit
57:14
all the time. Well, while contracting Std's
57:17
like a koala, yeah, yeah, Jesus. And and for some reason you
57:22
insist on you insist on eating eucalyptus sleeves, and that is
57:27
poisonous. You need to stop doing my man.
57:31
Get your shit together. When you're high for that herpes
57:33
in the 1st place, you're a fuck around that tree with those
57:36
koala bears. And now look at you.
57:39
Look at you clapped up. Ron De Santis is your sugar
57:43
daddy. You clapped up at the.
57:45
That damn. What's it called again?
57:48
The Villages. Yeah, the Villages.
57:50
The Villages. Or does Orlando, which is weird.
57:53
Florida's just dangerous. Man.
57:55
If you choose to hang around in Florida, there's something wrong
57:58
with you. You have like, a death wish.
58:00
You're one of those people, like.
58:02
Yeah, I mean, we haven't talked about hurricanes.
58:05
Yeah. Now we're not even getting,
58:07
like, natural disasters, sharks and jellyfish.
58:10
Alligators and like fucking Miami.
58:14
There's so many things. I mean, we've lost some good
58:17
friends to Florida, You know, a. Lot.
58:19
A lot of good men. We lost a lot of good men to
58:21
Florida. You know, like sticky is just
58:23
like pure Florida. It's pure Florida.
58:25
Poor one out. Is this like, all Florida all
58:29
the time, man? Oh my God, is he ever?
58:32
It's like avocado toast with impossible, like every day.
58:39
Man, I can't handle it. He loves it too much.
58:46
Yeah, I know they do. Of course they do.
58:51
All right. You got anything else, man?
58:53
That's it for me. Also, yeah, we'll try to get out
58:58
the lost episodes that weren't recorded on the audio, but so
59:02
those are still missing. So sorry that we hadn't dropped
59:05
audio in two weeks, but there was an episode.
59:07
It's on YouTube. Check it out, better take.
59:10
Pictures that meditate? Yeah we'll get that episode
59:13
drop, like, follow, subscribe. We appreciate y'all stopping by.
59:17
Stay out of trouble. Be safe, be nice to each other
59:20
and we are waiting is we're just waiting for this DC indictment
59:24
to drop. So the basically assume the day
59:26
that happens we'll probably be back with another episode.
59:30
So probably Thursday because the grand jury didn't meet today.
59:33
Oh, they didn't. So yeah, they said if not today,
59:35
then they can they meet again Thursday.
59:37
So it might be Thursday, a Trump edition, But yeah, y'all be
59:41
good. Stay safe.
59:44
Stay focused. Stay clean.
59:46
Go fuck yourselves. Shut up.
1:00:10
The.