Latest / The Curve / RTC53: JJ Feeney on money, mental health + sharing finances with her ex-husband

Transcript

RTC53: JJ Feeney on money, mental health + sharing finances with her ex-husband · The Curve

• 0:00
  This mindful miniseries is proudly sponsored by Brayface to help encourage conversations
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  about our minds and how money stress can affect our overall well-being.
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  it comes to your finances and you can find this by the link in our Instagram bio or in
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  the show notes for this podcast.
• 0:38
  Welcome to the Curve Podcast, a conversation for women who want to learn more about money,
• 0:44
  their money for the future they want to have.
• 0:47
  We're all busy in the pursuit for financial confidence and increasing your wealth should
• 0:51
  be a simple one.
• 0:53
  This podcast is for women to learn about investing in a non-scary or intimidating way.
• 0:58
  So thank you for being here and for listening, because together we really can raise the
• 1:03
  curve.
• 1:04
  Okay, well, welcome to the studio J.J.
• 1:08
  Well thanks for having me girls.
• 1:10
  I feel like it's quite weird actually to be honest interviewing you, so for just some
• 1:13
  background for anyone that doesn't know, I used to work in radio.
• 1:17
  So my first either, my first ever producing role was
• 1:23
  working for J.J. and my daughter, like honestly, 10 years ago, I was 21.
• 1:27
  Well, you're my favourite producer.
• 1:30
  Well, say that was one of my questions.
• 1:32
  No, you were.
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  And I often tell that to control room, George, and Dave.
• 1:37
  No, I know, you're the goalpost, you know?
• 1:42
  And George has just left us, he's our typical producer, and he was always like, oh, am I
• 1:46
  as good as Sophie Geese?
• 1:47
  Oh, I feel good.
• 1:50
  Maybe you know, for all it doesn't work out, I'll apply for a job to work it more
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  if you're nothing.
• 1:56
  All right, it feels like a life I'm going to go ahead.
• 2:00
  I know.
• 2:01
  I did them stupid shit on that show.
• 2:03
  There's eight videos of me on the internet writing down Ponsby Road in my bikini.
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  Did you eat a toast?
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  I had to look Dom's toast.
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  Yeah, it's pretty good.
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  And do you know what's funny is that that was actually because I was so poor, which
• 2:14
  was quite ironic.
• 2:15
  Like, maybe we're going to Sydney to interview Juliana Ranc, or something like that.
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  And when I say, we, JJ, was the only one being paid for what we sent there, and I was
• 2:23
  just determined to go, I was like, well, I'm the producer, I've got to go, you know?
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  And so we did like all these random, in studio stunts for me to earn enough money to pay
• 2:34
  for my flight.
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  And one of those things was looking to Jan off Dom's show.
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  We don't do stuff like that on Mory Femme now.
• 2:41
  We do have a separately more family-friendly piece, and you know, it's just not as wacky
• 2:46
  now at the gate as those days.
• 2:48
  I know, they can't be as distant as Mory for us now.
• 2:50
  I'm much more mature these days, so hopefully, are you still poor, because I'll give you
• 2:56
  a hundred bucks to look at my tone now.
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  Oh, yeah, I'm very poor, but your foot's broken, I don't know, why are you eating, yeah,
• 3:01
  swollen, swollen.
• 3:02
  It's also extremely manky.
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  This conversation, JJ, is not going to be about Tojan, or your ankle, or anything
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  I love lines of, we're going to be talking about money, which I feel like you are a very
• 3:15
  interesting case when it comes to this.
• 3:18
  Well, because like some of my memories of, I, this might have changed since we worked
• 3:22
  together, but I have memories of you being really not frivolous, but you've never, you've
• 3:30
  never been someone that's really attached to money, like I've always been very, very
• 3:34
  generous, like probably to a fault, always pays for everything, we'll go out for dinner
• 3:38
  and she'll just go and pay, or actually you're quite similar to, but this is to the next
• 3:42
  level.
• 3:43
  And when I used to work, but when I worked at the edge, I was paid, I sat it on $35,000,
• 3:54
  which honestly now just is ridiculous, because I wasn't sure at my job either, that I
• 4:00
  was on $35,000, I hope no one gets paid any more, that's not the moment of the wage now.
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  Radio has just always paid to ship money, even though radio makes a lot of money, but
• 4:11
  they blow the money on other investments.
• 4:13
  When MediaWorks had TV3, for example, the TV sucked up all the money that radio made,
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  and it's just always, there's always something else that sucks up the money.
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  And people that work on radio like producers, like on air people, or those kind of people,
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  they have a niche skill.
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  You can't just get anyone off the street to do the job, so I don't know why they don't
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  pay accordingly, but some people get paid really well, but the only way you get paid
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  well is if someone else offers you a job.
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  Well, this is what I was going to ask you.
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  I was going to say, because you've been at MediaWorks for what, 25 years now, basically since
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  you started.
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  I don't think anyone really now would be at the same company that's been at for that
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  long.
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  I've been on radio for over 30 years, and MediaWorks basically the whole time.
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  And so then in terms of the whole money side of things, I'm curious, because, as you
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  say, really, and my experience was the same.
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  The only way to get decent money in radio, unfortunately, is to have a job offer, and
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  that's what happened to me.
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  And I did it a couple of times, and they gave me like incremental pay rises, and then I
• 5:23
  got to 50, and they were like, sorry, can't pay anymore.
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  So that's when I went to Australia, and I'm wondering, how did you negotiate a good
• 5:31
  salary, and were you ever in a position where you were offered more money, and you were
• 5:36
  like, I'm going to go, unless you match it, what has that journey been like?
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  Well, I've had maybe about two or three pay rises, then I can think of in the whole time
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  of being at MediaWorks that haven't been because of a job offer, and they've been between
• 5:51
  two and $5,000, except I did get a recent one on $12,000.
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  So the only times that you've had pay rises that weren't basically forcing their hands,
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  like three times in 25 years, were like two or five grand.
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  Yeah, I'm not going to.
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  It's crazy.
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  Five years.
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  I'm not kidding.
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  People think that you get paid short loads of money, but you don't, unless it's like
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  them a lot of companies too.
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  Like if you have a top, you can, you go to your gallery, you go to the companies, you
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  can ask for pay rise.
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  I'm not good at negotiating.
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  I'm not.
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  Because I will ask for things, and they'll just get shot down.
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  So the only time that you can, you basically have to go, well, I've been offered this job
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  and I'm going to go, and then they give you the same money that you've been offered
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  to stay.
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  And then that's, and sometimes it's like better the devil, you know, because I've never
• 6:41
  really hated it, where I work, I just always thought, oh, I'll be nice to earn some more
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  money considering, you know, we're winning radio awards every year, and we're at the top
• 6:48
  of the ratings every year, but you never really feel like you are doing well because
• 6:54
  you know, the company is always like, oh, it's not in the budget, we can't afford to
• 6:57
  pay you.
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  And also I suck that it has to be that point of you leaving.
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  You know, if you do love your job, you're like, oh, I don't, I don't want to have to
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  be like, like, backmaning you, being like, I'm going to war, give me more money.
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  You know, you just want to be like, look, I'm obviously a bell-heaval team member at Media
• 7:13
  Works.
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  They literally couldn't operate with that.
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  Yeah.
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  That's like, it's quite hilarious that that you, even of all people, need a bargaining
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  tool to be able to feel like you could ask, because that sucks.
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  I don't know if that's the case.
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  I mean, I'm sure they could operate without me.
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  But we don't know what, what revenue you bring in as a personality, even over the 30
• 7:33
  years.
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  Yeah.
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  I'm like, we should click it that out.
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  I don't know how you even do that.
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  Because it's fine.
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  We've placed in some Australian media companies, and it's very much the same when they
• 7:43
  can have these big contract renewals for like, Carl and Jackie O, or like, you know,
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  other radio presenters, and from an investor standpoint, you're like, why are you paying
• 7:49
  them so much?
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  You get concerned when your contract comes up, because they're like, if they walk, then
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  you don't have a radio section, you don't have a TV, a radio personality.
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  And so it's interesting, like, but they do make a shit ton of money.
• 8:02
  There are millions, like, there's a lot more money to be made in Australia, and using
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  it on such a small market, we're never going to make that much, unfortunately.
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  So when you've had conversations about contracts or salaries, have you had anyone negotiate
• 8:16
  out on your behalf?
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  Because you've never had a manager, right?
• 8:18
  No.
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  And you still not have anyone helping it, like that also as well.
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  Such a huge, like, the amount of work that you sift through and the amount of admin
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  and everything you still do yourself is quite amazing.
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  It's hard to trust people.
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  It's hard to find someone to train.
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  Also, like, I see some people who have managers and the manager basically doesn't really
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  do much.
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  They just get a clip of the ticket.
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  I'm not having someone take any of my radio money when I work this hard myself for this.
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  So you don't just swan in here now and then take 20% to whatever that's not happening.
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  I see that.
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  I see that.
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  Basically why I do it myself.
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  Also, you know, I have such a good relationship with my boss that I feel bad if I set someone
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  else in there.
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  I have had to use a lawyer a couple of times, which, you know, that's fair and reasonable
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  just because, you know, you don't want to be taken advantage of.
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  But otherwise, I pretty much do it all myself up sucks, but some get lost with it.
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  Oh my God, so funny.
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  Oh my God.
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  Yeah, but I'm not like, like, people think, oh, because you know, you're saying I'm really
• 9:21
  generous and stuff, that's just among my personality.
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  I'm that sort of person.
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  I've always been like that.
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  Even when I earned $18,000 a year, people think, oh, you can afford it because you're rich.
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  That's why you shout everyone.
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  That's not the case at all.
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  I just like you say, I don't value money the same way that some people do.
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  Like, for me, I've got this really terrible mentality of, you can't take it with you
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  when you die.
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  And why would you want to be miserable just saving up all this money?
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  And then you die before you get to spend it, right?
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  I'm like, have a good time now.
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  You'll get paid again in two more weeks.
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  And then worry about it.
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  I know, I'm definitely got no skill when it comes to money or anything like that.
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  So even like a accountant, all the time, he's like, oh, you've got to do this and this.
• 10:05
  What?
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  I don't understand what you're talking about.
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  I don't know what I have to give my accountant every year.
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  I just wait for him to come back and say, can you please get this from the bank
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  and get this piece of paper from your work and get, I still don't know.
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  He has to tell me every time.
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  I think there's a balance of spending money now and saving some.
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  But you don't want to save it all and then you make saving.
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  You die and you're like, dammit, I was saving it for that rainy day that when I'm old
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  and no longer can actually jump off the bungee or like do the fun
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  shit that I want to sting my money on.
• 10:37
  I do also have like investments and retirement savings and things like that.
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  So that's my buying a house or whatever, that's my forced savings.
• 10:49
  Because you buy the house and you can sell it later on for more money, basically, usually.
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  So that's my forced savings where I have to pay them all the time.
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  But if you tell me to put money in the bank account, it's never going to go past $1,000
• 11:01
  before I'm spending it.
• 11:04
  I'm terrible.
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  But you obviously get value out of shouting things for people and paying things for people.
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  Or do you feel like you have to?
• 11:12
  No, sometimes, but mostly I just like to do it.
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  I just like to look after my friends and family people I care about.
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  So I want to treat them all the time and I feel like, no, let me do this for you.
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  I don't know, I just feel really good doing it.
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  And I know some people don't like it and they'll argue or whatever.
• 11:30
  So okay, thank you so much if you want.
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  So I think when you've done it with me, I've always been really grateful, but there'll
• 11:36
  always be times where if I can afford it, like if it's something smaller, like it might
• 11:40
  just be coffee and a muffin or something, I'll always like really try and do that.
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  Because otherwise you feel like you're taking, taking, taking and I think that's like,
• 11:48
  I would hate for any friends to ever feel like I was using them or that it was expected.
• 11:54
  But I remember when we worked together and going back to my horrendous salary, JoJo would
• 12:00
  come in on, on Radio Day, on Results Day with an envelope of money and it would have
• 12:06
  been like two and a half thousand dollars in cash and he would give it to me and then
• 12:09
  he'd give it to our audio producer and just say, we know you paid like shit, we really
• 12:12
  appreciate you, like his, his like a top up, like they weren't my employers at all, they
• 12:17
  mean dumb.
• 12:18
  Yeah, you're sorry, you were dumb.
• 12:20
  Yeah.
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  And it was obviously from both of you, but I just remember, like actually kind of makes
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  you feel emotional to think about it because those were, that was the reason that I knew
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  I was valued and it kind of sucks, sometimes when you think of people because, you know,
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  there's this whole like, oh, you're not, you've been greedy by asking for more or whatever,
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  but actually there is a value exchange and like a feeling of being wanted and valued that
• 12:41
  is sort of reflected in how someone pays you in renumeration, you know.
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  So it's not all about money, but that was always for me such a, such a sign of like, I want
• 12:51
  to stay here because I know that this team wants me to be here.
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  Do you know what I mean?
• 12:55
  Well, I mean, we knew that the company was paying such terrible money and we could afford
• 13:01
  because obviously we get paid more, but we appreciate all the work you're doing, like
• 13:05
  every day we sort of like bossing you around and, you know, telling you what to do, we get
• 13:09
  mad sometimes and whatever.
• 13:10
  And you might think, oh, this job sucks, it's necklace, but we just want, that was our
• 13:14
  way of showing you that we actually bloody appreciate everything you do and we couldn't
• 13:18
  do without you.
• 13:19
  So that is, if the company can't do it, we were going to do it because we personally
• 13:23
  did mean that.
• 13:24
  We did care.
• 13:25
  I think I've given money to my new producers.
• 13:26
  I don't even know what I said to this.
• 13:29
  I'll be listening.
• 13:30
  But I do think I like, I know from the outside, a lot of people see your radio persona or
• 13:37
  it, you know, might not know you personally and I don't know, I think you're one of those
• 13:41
  people I've always worked with where I'm just like, absolute salt of the earth human.
• 13:46
  And like, honestly, like, that really set me up for like knowing the way I wanted to
• 13:51
  be treated at work, valuing myself, learnt so much in that job.
• 13:55
  And I do think a lot, like how grateful I was to start in that role.
• 14:00
  But yeah, I guess I wanted to ask you about sort of your childhood and upbringing, which
• 14:06
  I know that you've talked a lot about in lots of your books and on radio.
• 14:09
  But could you maybe paint a picture with what that was like financially and how you think
• 14:14
  maybe that's impacted the way that you are with money now?
• 14:17
  I feel like it must have started from young, for everybody perhaps, I think, because you
• 14:23
  learn all those habits when you're young and so when I was growing up, my mum never
• 14:28
  had any money.
• 14:29
  She was always on the DPB at that time, the benefit, single mum, you know, with all these kids.
• 14:36
  And we always lived in like, you know, state housing or railway houses or whatever, which
• 14:43
  mum hated.
• 14:44
  Mum was so proud, like she still is a proud person, she hated that she didn't have the
• 14:48
  money and she hated that she had to live in this stereotyp, you know, this state house
• 14:54
  and whatever.
• 14:56
  So even though she had no money, we never went without.
• 14:59
  So she would always make sure we had what we needed.
• 15:02
  And I think I always thought, because I knew she struggled and, you know, we would be
• 15:06
  having like toes a salmon just for dinner or packet mashed potatoes, you know, just let
• 15:10
  you have it KFC but worse.
• 15:13
  And I always thought as a little girl, when I grow up, I'm going to look after my mum.
• 15:18
  I'm going to make sure that I earn enough money that I don't have to live like this.
• 15:23
  So that was my main goal was to just be able to survive and look after mum and which I do
• 15:29
  get paid really well for my job, but I'm not rich.
• 15:32
  I don't have an abundance of money, but I have enough to live a really good life, right?
• 15:39
  I also, so I own an apartment that my mum lives in for free.
• 15:44
  So and that's my way of helping her because I know there's no way she could live in Auckland
• 15:51
  on what $300 and whatever dollars a week you get on the benefit and now she's on the
• 15:55
  pension which is not much more than that.
• 15:58
  So I guess that's how my feeling about money came along, but I never really was taught
• 16:04
  about saving or for taxes or anything like that.
• 16:08
  So I had no idea about money except that it was there to spend or there to get the things
• 16:15
  that you need and want to, so it's kind of bad and kind of good at the same time.
• 16:19
  I would have thought you would almost have more of a scarcity mindset in the sense that
• 16:24
  you wouldn't want to spend money because you know, because of the way that you grow up
• 16:27
  with not a whole lot.
• 16:29
  It's interesting that you've kind of gone almost the opposite way in terms of just being
• 16:33
  like, it'll come, it'll come, like there's such a trust and the way you spend money,
• 16:37
  you know, like that's coming back again, which is kind of interesting.
• 16:41
  You would think it would be the opposite.
• 16:42
  I wish it was the opposite.
• 16:44
  I do.
• 16:45
  I wish that I cared about money and I watched my pennies and I looked at price tags and
• 16:48
  things like that, but I don't think money is the key to happiness in every round of
• 16:54
  our next bulkhead, you know, but it definitely helps.
• 16:57
  Like if you don't have any, you can be absolutely miserable, of course, you need money to survive.
• 17:00
  You need enough to survive and there's too many people that don't have enough to survive
• 17:05
  the basic things, even like paying a phone bill at internet bill, why can't you, that's
• 17:10
  a basic need.
• 17:11
  You know, people being able to buy a smartphone, I think in this 10 day and age, we all need
• 17:18
  one of those.
• 17:19
  Everyone should be able to have these things that they need to get through life as we do
• 17:23
  and the bare necessity would be, you pay your rent, you pay your power, you pay your food
• 17:28
  and gas and all that and you only have a little bit left over, but a lot of people don't
• 17:32
  even have enough to do those things, that upsets me greatly.
• 17:37
  Like many of them can buy you out of unhappiness in terms of like making your life a little bit
• 17:41
  easier, but yeah, I agree, it doesn't buy you happiness.
• 17:44
  I've got friends with a lot of money that are very happy and it causes a lot of stress
• 17:50
  I think.
• 17:51
  Exactly.
• 17:52
  And some people just never satisfied, you know, you can get more and more and more and more.
• 17:55
  You'll never satisfy anything, it's a really, really bad mentality and the fact that you
• 18:01
  hang things and you be general and you speak and you make how you do, make you happy, it's
• 18:05
  like, yeah, that's like, the more money I get, the more I give to other people.
• 18:11
  But also, like if I get more money, then I'm going to do something stupid with it, like
• 18:16
  buy a new phone that I don't need because I've already got one or upgrade both slides to
• 18:22
  the premium economy or whatever, you know, like I personally don't think that I need
• 18:27
  more money.
• 18:28
  I mean, you can always do more things with it, but for me personally, I get upset when
• 18:32
  I see people with a lot of money and they don't give to other people, like charity and
• 18:35
  stuff like that.
• 18:36
  It upsets me a lot because I think you're being really selfish, like you don't need all
• 18:41
  that money.
• 18:42
  Like we're supposed to help each other out.
• 18:44
  I don't know where that comes from, but I have that.
• 18:47
  I think because you've seen firsthand through family members, through friends, life that
• 18:53
  isn't overly affluent, you know, you've seen your brother's struggle, you've seen your
• 18:57
  mum's struggle, you've seen a lot of people that you love not in a situation where they
• 19:02
  could potentially upgrade to premium economy.
• 19:04
  So I can't even do economy.
• 19:05
  My family has got no money that always asking me for money and a lot of the time I give
• 19:10
  it to them.
• 19:11
  That was another thing I actually wanted to ask you, like how do you or where do you draw
• 19:15
  the line?
• 19:16
  Because they know that that's a case for you and there's a lot of people that not rely
• 19:19
  on you financially, but kind of see it as a backstop probably in a way.
• 19:23
  Yeah.
• 19:24
  And it must be difficult.
• 19:25
  You're saying those are friends and family and yeah, yeah, I kind of get to a breaking
• 19:29
  point.
• 19:30
  So I will say yes, yes, yes, yes, and they don't be like, I've had enough and I did do that
• 19:34
  with one of my sisters who now doesn't talk to me and it's just really sad.
• 19:39
  It's like, it's sad that money's become, yeah, it's like we in the relationship.
• 19:43
  Yeah.
• 19:44
  I'm the baddest person ever because I've got money and I'm not giving it to her.
• 19:47
  You know, and she's struggling, but I've given her money and she's done terrible things
• 19:51
  with it.
• 19:52
  So, you know, it's like, you're not getting a head, you're not, I'm not actually helping
• 19:55
  you.
• 19:56
  So sometimes I've got a bit harder in my older years.
• 19:58
  I'm not a proudie to that, I know that it might sound a bit like condescending, but
• 20:03
  it is because I'm quite a compassionate person and I don't like hurting people and I
• 20:11
  wish that, you know, I like sharing the wealth sort of thing, like I wish that everyone
• 20:15
  in my family lived the same sort of lifestyle as I do, they definitely don't, but I can't,
• 20:20
  I can't help them all, you know, I don't, I don't need enough money to support people.
• 20:25
  I'm back, I'm already supporting a few.
• 20:28
  I'll do a leaper.
• 20:29
  What do you face?
• 20:30
  Oh my God.
• 20:31
  That'll be amazing.
• 20:32
  You see something before about, you mentioned the word stress and I would like to talk about
• 20:39
  that because I know that your job and there's a lot of pressure on you in many different areas
• 20:43
  in terms of needing to perform on radio and be there for your family, be there for your
• 20:47
  friends that you kind of have this constant, not burden, but you know, you take a lot on
• 20:53
  and I think that comes down to all of the things that we've already talked about in terms
• 20:56
  of your personality.
• 20:58
  When it comes to mental health because that's something that you're really open about
• 21:02
  which I think is amazing and so important, have you ever noticed a correlation between
• 21:07
  your, you know, when you've had stress around money or finances or your job or pay rises
• 21:12
  or anything that has either like implicated more mental health stresses or the other way
• 21:17
  around, like has that had they ever been interrelated for you?
• 21:20
  Only when I was younger, like when I was in my 20s, early 20s I was struggling a little
• 21:28
  bit because I was only paid like 25,000 a year or something and like one day my phone
• 21:35
  bill came in and it was $800 and how, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, but anyway
• 21:40
  I had an absolute meltdown like how am I going to pay this?
• 21:43
  Like I remember just being so down and the doubts about it, like I didn't want to ask
• 21:48
  anyone for money because they did often use to ask my dad if they helped me out and she
• 21:52
  always did, you know, was only 50 bucks here or whatever and I just thought I couldn't
• 21:57
  see past this but I can't remember how I got out of that situation anyway, I sorted
• 22:02
  that eventually and that's the thing, it usually works itself out somehow, since then
• 22:07
  I try not to get into a situation where I can't see a way out, so you can borrow money,
• 22:17
  you can, you know, even though that puts you in more debt, I just try really hard to
• 22:21
  not get my phone bill up to that much anymore and yeah, I don't know, I just, that's the
• 22:25
  only time I really remember being really depressed about money.
• 22:29
  The only other reasons when money makes me depresses because of other people when like when
• 22:34
  my sister decided not to talk to me anymore and it's over money or, you know, I've had
• 22:39
  a few problems with when I have a nephew, stealing money and things like that, it's mainly
• 22:45
  about the way other people behave around the money that has caused me stress but I wouldn't
• 22:51
  say that is really any reason why I've had mental health issues at all, money is like
• 22:56
  way down the list. That's quite surprising, yes, I mean because money, generally for a
• 23:02
  lot of people, is very much up there in terms of stress and in terms of affecting mental
• 23:06
  health, so it's quite refreshing to hear that they don't wear up there in terms of.
• 23:11
  Well I'm like I'm not in a position where the money is the thing that's going to keep
• 23:15
  me alive, like some people have their businesses and all their money's in their business and
• 23:19
  they've lost their business for whatever reason, of course you're going to be depressed
• 23:23
  and stressed, I feel so much for those people especially everyone who's lost their business
• 23:28
  through COVID and things like that, or if you, you know, your family relies on you like
• 23:32
  like my mum having that little money as she had all those kids, I would felt pressed
• 23:36
  in her situation, I just haven't been in those situations for money to affect me that way,
• 23:42
  so I totally get why people would have bad mental health around it but for me it hasn't
• 23:47
  been the trigger.
• 23:50
  Have you figured out what those trivial are for you? Like are they really obvious ones now
• 23:54
  that you're like okay, I can look at my mental health now and I know if this happens,
• 23:59
  I'm probably going to spiral, or if this happens, I'm probably not going to be able to cope.
• 24:03
  I think for me it's when I get really overwhelmed, so I take on, you know, a lot of us do,
• 24:08
  you take on something and it's like, oh god, and then there's another thing and it's like,
• 24:11
  oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, and for me, I get to a breaking point, so I'll take on as much
• 24:19
  more than you probably should of the stress or the demands, it's demands from other people,
• 24:25
  it's work, it's family, it's been a yes person, I've been a yes, I know, and I've been through
• 24:32
  therapy and they tell me not to do it, but how can I change my mind? But I think one of my
• 24:38
  psychologists said to me, there's three things in your life, there's work, family and love, right?
• 24:44
  And if one of those things isn't going well, then okay, it's a bit shit, but if two of them
• 24:50
  then that's the reason when you're going to start breaking down, so you need to be happy in love,
• 24:55
  happy at work, happy with your family, and you're happy person, what more could go wrong, you know?
• 25:01
  But when one of those breaks down, you start thinking, oh my relationship's breaking up,
• 25:04
  I'm a bit sad, I'm a bit sad, but then you lose your job, I'm fucked.
• 25:08
  I'm fucked.
• 25:12
  If I lost my job, I would be fucked, I've been absolute mess, because I love doing radio,
• 25:17
  what would I do if I don't do radio? I mean, I'm sure you can think of a million things I could do,
• 25:21
  but actually, actually, making them and making them happen is another thing,
• 25:24
  to get them making a success out of it is a whole other thing. So,
• 25:30
  it's interesting that like for work for you, you would hate that and you would spiral because
• 25:34
  you've lost your job, because you love your work, because it's not the money element that
• 25:37
  will work, which is really interesting because for me, it's so true. For me, if I lost my job,
• 25:42
  it's instantly, I'm like, how am I going to pay my mortgage, how am I going to pay my bills,
• 25:46
  even though I do love my job, it's the money element of the job that would stress me out more,
• 25:51
  than actually losing the love of going to work. So, it's interesting that you say that.
• 25:57
  Like, what I do for my job is me, it's part of who I am. So, for some people, you have a job
• 26:03
  that maybe you love doing, but you know, you're really there for the money, let's face it,
• 26:07
  we're all doing, we're also at home and just take the money, wouldn't we? But for me, I think I
• 26:11
  would miss radio if I didn't do it. I'd say I'd do it for free because I have done it for free,
• 26:16
  but I wouldn't do it for free now, because I know I've done making shit like just money out of me.
• 26:21
  That's why, if someone else is taking the, if someone else is taking the, what is it clipping the ticket,
• 26:26
  then I deserve some of that, you know what I mean? So, the money, it would stress me out if I couldn't
• 26:31
  pay on my bills of course. But the loss of doing what you love would, that would hurt me a lot,
• 26:36
  yeah, because I can make money, I'm saying, I can make money, bloody running out of honestly
• 26:41
  underwear, you could literally do anything, you could screw and post whatever, yeah, but I won't be
• 26:46
  happy doing that. So, who would you talk to? You've got a lot to get out, you know, like,
• 26:51
  these talk for like four hours a day, I'm going to just try to try and get that out, like,
• 26:54
  calling everyone shows, hello, something else happens, we're going to talk about.
• 26:58
  Well, feel free to come and use the studio. It's not your own radio show, it's really
• 27:02
  here up for it, you know, hopefully it will come to that. Hopefully my boss doesn't actually watch
• 27:08
  all this into this podcast, now we sweet. Now, I would like to delve into our relationship
• 27:15
  finances. So, we obviously, when we work together, you're with Dom, and since then you've had a
• 27:22
  couple of other relationships. What would you say your relationship with money has been like,
• 27:30
  when it's integrated into a relationship standpoint? The same, I'm just the same, nothing's changed,
• 27:38
  I think. So, when on with Dom, well, here's the thing, Dom and I were married for 18 years,
• 27:43
  or together for 18 years, sorry, and we split up five years ago. It was already five years,
• 27:48
  it kind of usually feels like a while. It was five years, but we're still so close, we still share
• 27:53
  our money. Do you? Do you? We do. No. Yeah, and what? Really? Is that because you've got a
• 28:00
  shared child, aka Kanye or dog, or is that just because it was too hard to separate? I just can't
• 28:04
  be bothered with the admin, and neither can he. And luckily, because he doesn't work in radio now,
• 28:10
  so I sort of help him, if he didn't have me, what would he do? You know, podcasts don't make
• 28:16
  enough money to live on. Oh my gosh, wow, that's really interesting. Not that he probably won't,
• 28:21
  want me to say this, because he sounds weird, but no, but we support each other. We have joint
• 28:26
  properties. When we set up our retirement savings and all that, that's on joint, so I have to
• 28:33
  divorce him in order to split everything properly. And I haven't had the need to divorce him yet,
• 28:43
  so I wanted to divorce me. And I still love him, but not, you know, I love him like I care
• 28:49
  about him so much. He's a really big part of my life. So I want to support him, because I know
• 28:57
  that he would support me too, and we do support each other. So while until we need to separate
• 29:06
  IE another relationship, we just keep going status quo just because it's easy, it's just easy.
• 29:12
  But for us, it's easy, and it doesn't worry me, and it doesn't worry him. That's awesome.
• 29:16
  I mean, he wishes he could earn money again, and he will. That's so unusual, but so refreshing.
• 29:23
  Yeah. I think it's that relationship and still be friends, and being just like, you know what,
• 29:28
  I respect him here, Steve, we're not going to fuck each other over financially. Let's just
• 29:32
  not go through the admin right now of doing that. It takes a very type of a special kind of
• 29:37
  relationship. Not many people would do this. This is probably super crazy, but it works for us.
• 29:43
  Stress around personal finance is the number one contributor to mental health in New Zealand,
• 29:48
  which is why we've created this mindful mini series with Braveface.
• 29:51
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• 30:01
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• 30:07
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• 30:12
  when it comes to your finances, which you can find via the link in our Instagram bio or in the
• 30:17
  show notes for this podcast. What about if there's been other relationships for you? Does that,
• 30:22
  or both of you are in relationships now? Is that a problem for the partner or I don't know,
• 30:28
  is there anything around what you both spend money on or anything? We're not really in deep
• 30:35
  enough with our new partners to where it has to come to chatting about money. So my boyfriend
• 30:41
  lives with me, he pays me rent, because I don't want him to feel like a free loader.
• 30:47
  And it's just like, I need him to contribute so that he's not being a free loader as well.
• 30:52
  And I don't know how much money he earns. He doesn't know how much money I earn. I take
• 30:56
  care of most things, because that's his way. But he will often buy things or shout me,
• 31:01
  dinner or whatever that last night bought me, dinner. And he contributes
• 31:05
  everything we can. He doesn't want to feel like he's free loading either. But there's never been
• 31:10
  a problem with the way my money has handled with Dom to affect him yet. But if he wanted to
• 31:16
  buy a house or get married or any of those sorts of things or do something together that cost a lot
• 31:22
  of money, I'm doing that across that bridge when I get to it, which is not what I was.
• 31:32
  I never expected to get another relationship like this. And there's a sort of happens. So I haven't
• 31:37
  really thought about it. So just yeah, across that bridge when I get to it.
• 31:42
  Was it an interesting dynamic with in the early days you were done? Because you both worked
• 31:46
  together. You know each other was earning roughly, I don't know if you spoke about it or not.
• 31:50
  Surely you would have spoken about it, right? Because you're on the same show.
• 31:53
  Well, when I met Dom and we started dating, he was living in Palmerston North doing a breakfast
• 31:57
  show there. And I was at the edge in Hamilton. So we were a longer sense of two years before he
• 32:02
  got the job at the edge, before I was able to convince the boss to bring him over. So I did
• 32:08
  know what he was earning. And he knew what I was earning back then. And it wasn't even much, right?
• 32:13
  Do you think it helped in the relationship in terms of talking about money or?
• 32:17
  So he's so different with money. He's more tight. And how much does that cost?
• 32:22
  You know, he's way more sensible than me. So me, I've blown most of his money over the years.
• 32:27
  All right, and this is why another reason why I'm helping in the Netherlands.
• 32:30
  I feel so guilty. All the money I'm spending on is. And it's only fair that he spends mine.
• 32:37
  Yeah, we're different in terms of that, but I could always talk him around.
• 32:41
  So speaking of, I know I've gotten tight for the dawn.
• 32:47
  So we've got a few voices in this.
• 32:51
  I've got a few voices to play you. Oh my god, you're kidding.
• 32:55
  No, I'm not kidding. So I'm just going to play the first one. I'm going to have to use my phone
• 33:00
  unfortunately. Can we use your phone for a sit? Sure. Okay, voice me my number one.
• 33:10
  A husband of JJ Feney and big fan of the cube. First of all, before I spilled the tea about
• 33:18
  JJ's spending habits. Oh, she's a very competitive person. So she's going to plant back at me
• 33:24
  or fight back. So I just want to put it by saying yes, I'm not perfect myself when it comes to
• 33:30
  money and spitting out the happening couple of mistakes on my part, including investing in an
• 33:35
  NFT earlier this year, even though I didn't really know what it was. And also,
• 33:39
  buying $10,000 worth of shares in an Australian company that was making a red test,
• 33:45
  that $10,000 investment has currently done 83% which means I turned $10,000 into $1,700.
• 33:52
  There, cards on the table. Oh, no. I look, he did those things with such good intention. How could
• 34:03
  I be mad? It's great idea, but maybe two years ago, not this year, but I'll be good at taking it
• 34:13
  out in just the right time. So essentially what I've done here, just so that you can prepare yourself.
• 34:22
  I basically, well, this next flip is kind of wrapping up everything we've already talked about,
• 34:27
  but in fact, I'm just going to go for it. Here we go. Now the good stuff, let's get into some
• 34:33
  financial mistakes that JJ has made. I do recall one, this was when we were working together at the
• 34:37
  edge during the global financial crisis, maybe what 10, 12 years ago. We were due to go on a trip
• 34:44
  to America, painful by the company to go to our radio commons and I think it was New Orleans
• 34:48
  or Las Vegas or something like that. And it was in our contract, so the company was obliged to send
• 34:54
  us, but they called us in for a meeting and they said, hey, you know, things are really tough.
• 34:58
  GFC, yada, yada, yada. So we can't send you guys to the States, but as a gesture of good, well,
• 35:04
  we'd like to offer you $1500 each, just as a thank you payment because it will save us a lot of money.
• 35:10
  And JJ, JJ was like, oh, no, no, no, please keep the money. I know they're struggling at the moment.
• 35:18
  I don't want to struggle anymore. So no, I can't, I like to set that money. We walked out of the
• 35:23
  room and I was like, JJ, what the fuck are you doing? It's not even the money. Don't worry about it.
• 35:30
  What is wrong with you? Oh my god. I don't know. I'm going to love that. I love it. You were so
• 35:38
  concerned about them. They won't make the money. It hurts my feelings that they don't care anymore.
• 35:46
  But they're making you know, I really cared about like, yeah, I did care about that. Also,
• 35:50
  it was one of my, one of my favorite bosses at the time was telling me this, I felt so like,
• 35:57
  did they take the money back? Yeah, they didn't give me the money. Oh my gosh. I'm sure there would
• 36:02
  have been like, no, no, please. You would think so. I don't even know what was I thinking. I should have
• 36:06
  taken it in hindsight. I should have taken it, but I just honestly thought, what if they're struggling
• 36:10
  so much? Why would I do that? Like that makes me look like a bad employee that doesn't support
• 36:14
  the company. And I'm like, thank you. Can I take her share? Oh, I got $750 then.
• 36:24
  Oh my god. Now shopping habits was something that I investigated for a time. I wanted to know,
• 36:30
  you know, so there's any dirt in relation to, yeah, shopping habits. And this is what he had to say.
• 36:37
  Another thing about Jojo, she likes, she likes to buy nice things, but she likes to buy nice things
• 36:43
  over and over again. And she said, what do I mean? Oh, she'll go to like a Michael course shoe shop
• 36:49
  and the big glittering pair of like Michael course sneakers. So she'll buy them. Like, you know,
• 36:54
  the actually shopping shop. Yeah, and then she'll buy a pair that looks exactly the same. She'll do
• 36:58
  the same thing to cute, but like she'll go there, buy a black dress for $269, then buy the same
• 37:04
  black dress and the same black dress, the same black dress. So she'll have like, she's almost like
• 37:08
  a lady version of Steve Jobs. Steve Jobs, the amp will buy the one that's giving you every day.
• 37:14
  No, that... And she's very... Hey, what are you doing?
• 37:17
  I must say, he is just not observant. Okay, because I don't buy the same thing.
• 37:21
  As soon as I have a certain style and it would be for glittery sneakers and black dresses. Okay,
• 37:27
  maybe that's it, but no two dresses are the same if you look closely in that. So he's just...
• 37:34
  One has a few buttons. Yeah, well, this is it. He just doesn't murder you. What about your online
• 37:41
  shopping? Because this is definitely something that Vic is, I must say, quite horrendous with him.
• 37:47
  You should have seen the door the other day, I nearly, it's a minute's Christmas time,
• 37:51
  and I'm all about efficiency and that's doing a Christmas shopping online. But I was like, I think
• 37:55
  so Sophie is not coming over for us. She would literally lose her shirt. It was about six or seven
• 38:00
  in different passes. I think I felt, yeah, I felt really bad myself. Christmas for you though.
• 38:07
  Yeah, I know. I got what I wanted. Oh, that's right. That thing from Spain.
• 38:12
  What is something from Spain? I bet you did. It's hard. I get it. I've got a
• 38:18
  like an online shopping addiction in a way, and it's not real. You know, you spend
• 38:22
  your money till you don't have any. It's more like you just get lost in like a rabbit hole of things
• 38:26
  and then you see things, you're like, well, that's cool. Yeah, that's cool. I wouldn't mind that,
• 38:31
  or I know someone who would like that. Click, click, click, click, click, next minute. Oh, that's
• 38:37
  $460. Thanks. Ah, fuck it. It's on the credit card. I'll pay back later. But it's down from 600.
• 38:44
  Yeah, again. I'm the worst at buying clothes. I've been buying clothes online lately because I
• 38:50
  just can't be bothered going to the shops. And so I put on hats away and I feel disgusting about
• 38:53
  myself, right? So I've been buying clothes online. And because I'm sort of not really 100% sure,
• 38:59
  exactly what I say is at the moment, or I'm going to deny all about one of those. I'll get them
• 39:02
  and I'll either be mostly too small or too big. What I'm saying is they basically never fit
• 39:08
  properly. And I have all these clothes I can't be fattening them back. Oh, I said it.
• 39:12
  And it's the worst. Why do I do this again? It looks so good on the internet. I'm sure it's
• 39:19
  going to fit. I think no. Now, I would just like to quickly speak about investments. Do you invest
• 39:25
  and is that something that you're interested in learning about? Yeah, I do. I wish I knew more about
• 39:32
  that stuff. I wish I did it because if I could understand it, I would do more. So you know,
• 39:36
  I've got the old shares as a count. I don't know what I've put it on. It's just some mixture of
• 39:40
  whatever's. And you know, I've got the the Kiwi Saver and the AMP retirement savings of whatever.
• 39:51
  The apartments that we live in. How many properties do you got? This is really a personal question.
• 39:56
  Oh, sorry, you don't have to answer if you don't want to. Oh my gosh, it's quite a few. Wow,
• 40:01
  cool. It's amazing. Congrats. It's so amazing. No, you say more and you wish you knew more. It's like
• 40:07
  you're doing a lot. Yeah. It's not what you think. This is my generous side. We own five apartments.
• 40:15
  I live in one. Dom lives in one. His mum lives in one. My mum lives in one. We get no income from
• 40:24
  either of those apartments. We're just paying them. And we've got one apartment, which we needed to
• 40:29
  sell because we have that brokerage. And hasn't been able to sell because the market's so
• 40:34
  shit. So someone's renting it. That's amazing. We do it to look after our mums. She can't
• 40:39
  support her self like that. So I wanted to do it for her while I could. So that's also why
• 40:44
  I don't have a copy of some of this money because it all goes on. Mortgage is right.
• 40:49
  Bloody body corpse is like 40,000 a year. Holy shit. It's a salary. But you'll get the capital
• 40:54
  game from from those over the long term. Yeah, depending. Yeah. That's not the smartest to
• 40:59
  invest in apartments. But it's better than that. That's just where our money is tied up.
• 41:05
  I know when I retire, I will be fine. You've got a suite of apartments that you could
• 41:09
  share some. You're on that retirement village from those apartments. I would love to buy one
• 41:13
  property like a little commue. I have a house for Dom. House for me. House for mouth. House for
• 41:20
  husband. And my brother who also can't look up for himself. I want to do that.
• 41:25
  I would just like to finish this into you on a high. And that's just informing everyone about
• 41:29
  one other investment that you have made in your time. Oh, shit. Oh, one final, one soap and
• 41:35
  Vic. When you ask JoJo, if she's invested in anything other than property, if she doesn't
• 41:42
  mention the time that she bought a counterfeit diamonds and pookies, I need to head over about that.
• 41:50
  Oh my god. Oh my god. We were in pookies. This is years ago. Like 20 odd years ago. Like I was in my
• 42:00
  20s, right? And this guy comes over and he's like, he opens this black piece of velvet and
• 42:06
  there's shiny little diamond things on there. He's like, you're about some diamonds. You're
• 42:10
  going by some time and stuff. The real check level bar. You know, and I'm thinking, this guy's
• 42:14
  dodgy years. I'm not really into this. And he gets a diamond. And he gets a piece of glass and he
• 42:18
  scratches it. And he's like, see real diamonds. And he's like, I go, how much? How much? Just
• 42:24
  like playing along. He's like $100. And it's this big like two carat. I'm thinking, this can't
• 42:30
  be real. And he's like, come with me, come with me. We go down this dodgy little alleyway and
• 42:35
  pass all these real dodgy looking people. And we go into this back room and there's a couple of
• 42:40
  people there with like a money counter machine and all these diamonds laid out on black velvet.
• 42:45
  And he's showing me the diamond. He said, they scratch and all this stuff. And he said, say,
• 42:50
  you're these four diamonds. And I'm like, how much? And he's like, whatever 20, whatever it was.
• 42:54
  And it worked out to be like a hundred New Zealand dollars. And I thought, yeah, fuck it. I'm in
• 42:58
  another country. Yeah. I figured that probably fake. But I thought, no, there's a risk here.
• 43:05
  Oh, they could be real. I don't know where we got them from, the black market or whatever. I'm
• 43:09
  giving them. So I bought them. Got them back to New Zealand. Took me a couple of years to do
• 43:13
  anything with them. I kept looking at them, looking at them. And I was kind of embarrassed to
• 43:16
  take me to the jail because of the order of fake. Anyway, I went to the jail and yeah, that's
• 43:21
  okay. Yeah. So is that like, like, bitches, like, kind of like, diamond tapes? Yeah. They're fake
• 43:30
  diamonds. Anything that looks like a diamond, but isn't a diamond that's probably with $2.
• 43:35
  Are you probably made his day? Probably. And I just sort of thought, because I'm always for a good
• 43:40
  story as well, not that I would want to ever break the law in such a way, but I sort of felt
• 43:45
  fearless and, you know, lawless at that time. And I thought, well, if anything else, it makes
• 43:50
  a good story for the radio one day. And yes, I need to go. Or for curves. And here it is.
• 43:57
  Oh God, what a law. Well, thank you so much for your time and sharing. So openly, I mean,
• 44:03
  I knew you would, but it's like, really awesome. I think to hear conversations about,
• 44:08
  about mental health, about finances and people that are willing to just be candid, because I think
• 44:13
  the problem is, is so me, us don't talk about these things and shy away from those conversations.
• 44:18
  And then that kind of secrecy and lack of knowledge is just going to continue and continue and continue.
• 44:22
  So thank you so much for coming and being so open. Yes. Thanks for having us. It was really
• 44:27
  funny. I mean, extremely open, honest person. I just don't know how to stop that. I don't like
• 44:35
  lying. And I'm very, you know, I should have secrets. And like, even I shouldn't have told you
• 44:40
  much about my apartments or whatever, but I just want to say, please don't judge me in a negative
• 44:44
  way for that. Because people think I'm loaded because I'm so generous. But like I said, I'm not,
• 44:49
  I'm just, I do get paid well, but I am stupid with money. And I could do a lot better. But I also
• 44:55
  do give a lot to charity and help other people out all the time. So, um, and I encourage you to do
• 45:01
  the same. Stress around personal finance is the number one contributor to mental health in New
• 45:06
  Zealand, which is why we've created this mindful mini series with Braveface. The trio of herbal
• 45:12
  remedies help you tackle stress and worry head on, offering natural support for everything
• 45:16
  that life throws at you. The arranging includes head rest night drops to help you fall and stay
• 45:21
  asleep, cool head stress supports Brave, a rapid, calm and focus, and live calm daily capsules
• 45:27
  for managing long-term stress. We've also created a resource to help you reduce stress when it comes
• 45:32
  to your finances, which you can find via the link in our Instagram bio or in the show notes for this
• 45:37
  podcast. Thank you so much for joining us for today's episode of Raising the Curve. Please
• 45:43
  subscribe and leave a review on what ever platform you're listening on. We would also love
• 45:48
  for you to share this podcast with anyone you think would benefit from it. For more information
• 45:52
  about the curve and how you can learn more, head to thecurve.co.inz or find us on socials.