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EPISODE 11: Hot Mom Summer...Or Just Parenting Somewhere Else? · It's Mom O'Clock

• 0:00
  Speaker A: What's up, everyone? Welcome to It's Mom o' Clock Somewhere, the podcast where two best friends, cousins by marriage, and moms in the trenches, spill the unfiltered tea on all things motherhood, marriage, and the messy moments in between. I'm Emily, mom of three toddlers, 4 and under.
• 0:17
  Speaker B: And I'm Dom, first time mom to a wild 16 month old and our emotional support dog, trying to keep my coffee hot and my sanity intact. Whether you're hiding in your pantry for five minutes of peace or folding endless laundry, grab your coffee or your wine and hang out with us. It's Mama Clock. Hello.
• 0:39
  Speaker A: You guys, stop. Is it mom o' clock yet? I'm going crazy.
• 0:43
  Speaker B: Heck, yeah.
• 0:44
  Speaker A: It's Mama Clock Somewhere.
• 1:07
  Speaker B: Arms are out.
• 1:08
  Speaker A: Arms are out to play.
• 1:10
  Speaker B: Sweat is here. All right, you guys, welcome back. It's Mama Clock Somewhere. It's summer. The kids are out of school. We're sweating through our Target biker shorts. We don't wear Target biker shorts, so we sweat through our jeans.
• 1:26
  Speaker A: Hate biker shorts.
• 1:27
  Speaker B: We're questioning if we're actually going to have hot mom summer, because we're probably not. Probably not pretending. I'm buying all new products on Amazon as if I'm going to be having a hot mom summer.
• 1:36
  Speaker A: Okay, send them all to me also.
• 1:37
  Speaker B: Okay, I'll buy them for you. We're parenting in a different location. Beach, Shorehouse, Kate May, wherever the hell we are this week.
• 1:45
  Speaker A: I'm nowhere.
• 1:46
  Speaker B: We're living off snacks. We're talking about the mom guilt summer this episode. So we're really gonna dive into the swimsuit chaos and why vacation with our kids is not always a vacation. So school's out. Like, it's vacation.
• 2:00
  Speaker A: School's out. I have all three babies. I used to live first summer. Yeah, yeah.
• 2:05
  Speaker B: Now as a mom, I'm like, frightened.
• 2:08
  Speaker A: Yeah. But, like, how has it changed for you? Because Gio hasn't been in school ever.
• 2:12
  Speaker B: It hasn't.
• 2:14
  Speaker A: But no. Something about just, like, the summer vibes are different.
• 2:18
  Speaker B: I feel like. Yes.
• 2:20
  Speaker A: I think that moms in general have like a. Like, you want to make your kids summer so fun. Like, you just want it to be like the best summer.
• 2:28
  Speaker B: Like, is it fun for the mom?
• 2:30
  Speaker A: No.
• 2:31
  Speaker B: I was down the shore this whole week.
• 2:33
  Speaker A: Yeah. How was that?
• 2:34
  Speaker B: Like, Michael's like, are you on vacation? I'm like, I'm trying. Like, I was trying so hard to be on vacation.
• 2:39
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 2:40
  Speaker B: But I was just doing my job in a different location.
• 2:43
  Speaker A: Yeah, you're doing the same true thing. Well, it's your Parents house. So like you have.
• 2:47
  Speaker B: It was more. It was more hectic because there's a lot of body of water right at the Jersey shore. We live on the lagoon. Pool. Lagoon. No, Gay. I'm like, you don't understand. It's like I didn't leave the house for three days. I was just letting my son look through the glass window at the pool.
• 3:04
  Speaker A: That is too much anxiety for me to handle.
• 3:07
  Speaker B: Much.
• 3:07
  Speaker A: I need a full.
• 3:08
  Speaker B: Like, your kids are out of school.
• 3:10
  Speaker A: My kids are out of school.
• 3:11
  Speaker B: I can't. Your backyard reminds me of like the town pool.
• 3:15
  Speaker A: It's worse than the town pool.
• 3:17
  Speaker B: No, I can't actually.
• 3:19
  Speaker A: It's so funny. My kids are living in a blow up pool because we don't have our own pool. And my husband sent me a meme of behind every kid that's in a blowup pool is a dad freaking out that the grass is being dead. He's like raking the grass after we dumped.
• 3:36
  Speaker B: It's so true. Well, do you have. I feel like I haven't seen your swim pool because I just went down. My sister in law was renting with her family, so I went down. My brother was there and everybody.
• 3:44
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 3:45
  Speaker B: And they had this ginormous swimming pool. It was amazing. Like it fit right in the backyard. It was like blow up.
• 3:50
  Speaker A: Yeah, I mean we have that. But it's. It's so hard. First of all, it's so hard to keep it clean because the kids jump in and out. Rocks, dirt. That's. That's the game. Like let's throw as many rocks into the pool. We put our playground slide into the pool. So it's like a water slide that goes into the pool. Straight danger. We MacGyvered some crazy shit yesterday.
• 4:11
  Speaker B: Yeah, I can't. Like townpool at the d' Annunzio household.
• 4:15
  Speaker A: Yeah, come on over. The neighbors are here.
• 4:17
  Speaker B: They are probably there right now. I can't. Anyway, you guys are probably wondering if you're not watching and you're just listening, we have a huge balloon, 2K ice pretty and gold on our wall behind us.
• 4:33
  Speaker A: Because we just hit 2,000. Over 2,000 subscribers on YouTube. Insane.
• 4:41
  Speaker B: Insane. I'm so proud of us.
• 4:42
  Speaker A: I mean, just two episodes ago we were. We were celebrating for 200 subscribers.
• 4:47
  Speaker B: Yeah. And now we're at 2K and we obviously are excited because it's on our wall currently.
• 4:53
  Speaker A: We will sleep with the balloons tonight.
• 4:54
  Speaker B: That's correct. I will never let them pop. But we're so proud of ourselves. 2K subscribers. So if you haven't Subscribed. Please do so. So we can hit 3k and 4k and 5k and just keep going up from there.
• 5:05
  Speaker A: Yeah, it's all the way up. We're going up.
• 5:07
  Speaker B: All the way up. All the way up. Anyway. So proud of us. 2K. Love that.
• 5:14
  Speaker A: But anyway, we have other exciting things. Merch. Look at that hat. Look what she's wearing. Should we. Can we get a close up on.
• 5:22
  Speaker B: That mama clock Merch dropping. Also menswear off the clock. Merch dropping.
• 5:29
  Speaker A: It's really cool to have shirts, sweatshirts.
• 5:31
  Speaker B: We actually just launched. No, we didn't launch. I'm lying to the audience.
• 5:35
  Speaker A: So we. We're working on our website.
• 5:38
  Speaker B: It's 95% done.
• 5:39
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 5:40
  Speaker B: My friend's gonna tweak it a little bit and we're gonna launch our website and you can purchase our merch through our website. How freaking cute is this hat?
• 5:49
  Speaker A: It's so cute.
• 5:50
  Speaker B: Like summer vibes.
• 5:51
  Speaker A: Summer vibes.
• 5:52
  Speaker B: Happy 4th of July. I am a firework.
• 5:55
  Speaker A: You are a walking.
• 5:57
  Speaker B: I'm a firework. Ready to explode.
• 5:59
  Speaker A: How about me? I'm in that. You're a bandana. I'm a bandana.
• 6:02
  Speaker B: You know what? That's like an old school shirt.
• 6:03
  Speaker A: I love it. So fun.
• 6:05
  Speaker B: She's in a bandana. Red shirt.
• 6:06
  Speaker A: Yep. Oh, if you can't see me, match.
• 6:09
  Speaker B: Our juicy tits bottle.
• 6:11
  Speaker A: I never wear red.
• 6:12
  Speaker B: I know. We look cute. We're cute today.
• 6:16
  Speaker A: My arms are out.
• 6:17
  Speaker B: I know. I'm free. No. I feel stiff as a board because I'm. My arm. I'm trying to suck in my arms.
• 6:23
  Speaker A: Where's my sweatsuit?
• 6:24
  Speaker B: Like I'm sucking in my belly. I'm sucking in my arms.
• 6:27
  Speaker A: No. And let's. I think we should just dive into, like, bikini wear.
• 6:31
  Speaker B: Nope.
• 6:32
  Speaker A: Bathing suit. We can't.
• 6:33
  Speaker B: We can't because we have exciting news.
• 6:35
  Speaker A: Oh, yes, guests. We have a guest coming.
• 6:39
  Speaker B: I'm so excited for her. A little switch up. But we're having an amazing guest.
• 6:46
  Speaker A: So excited.
• 6:47
  Speaker B: Extraordinary guest.
• 6:50
  Speaker A: I might be.
• 6:51
  Speaker B: There's another word for her.
• 6:52
  Speaker A: I might be, like, starstruck.
• 6:54
  Speaker B: Don't give it away.
• 6:55
  Speaker A: Sorry, Sorry.
• 6:57
  Speaker B: We're having an amazing guest come on our podcast the next couple weeks. So stay tuned.
• 7:03
  Speaker A: It'll be good.
• 7:04
  Speaker B: So good. She's the best person on planet Earth. Don't do that, please. I'm not in the mood for folks.
• 7:11
  Speaker A: Me neither. I'm not in the mood. She's not in the mood. Do you guys know what happened? Right? Like 10 minutes ago, I come in with a.
• 7:17
  Speaker B: She's about to blow my spot right now.
• 7:19
  Speaker A: I came in with a no, let me preference.
• 7:23
  Speaker B: She comes out of her car. First of all, I talked to her on the phone. She didn't sound good. I'm like, I know something's wrong.
• 7:26
  Speaker A: I was frazzled. I was picking up these balloons.
• 7:28
  Speaker B: So she, instead of saying, I'm frazzled.
• 7:30
  Speaker A: Dumped them into a little car.
• 7:32
  Speaker B: Instead of saying, you're frazzled, you go, I'm sick. I have a sore throat. I'm like, so what are you doing here? Don't come around me if you're sick.
• 7:40
  Speaker A: There are a couple things I know that I cannot say in front of Dom. I actually can't talk about any bodily function. If I have anything.
• 7:48
  Speaker B: No liquids.
• 7:49
  Speaker A: No liquids. If I have to poop, if I have to puke, if I have to spit, if I have to take a drink of tea, I can't talk about anything.
• 7:58
  Speaker B: Wait. I kind of came at her. So I was. She went ballistic. No, I didn't go ballistic kind. I went ballistic.
• 8:04
  Speaker A: It's like, she's the only one that has fourth of July pants.
• 8:07
  Speaker B: I can't get sick of it. Wait, that was crazy of me. Yeah, I apologize.
• 8:12
  Speaker A: We're over it now. She apologized about 100 times because, you.
• 8:15
  Speaker B: Know when, like, you act out because, like, something else going on, like, you spiral. I spiraled a little bit. And I don't want to be sick for 4th of July. I have plans, and I feel.
• 8:24
  Speaker A: Feel that too. I don't want to be sick. I was like, I wouldn't come here if I was sick.
• 8:28
  Speaker B: I know you wouldn't, but a little bit part of me feels like you would.
• 8:30
  Speaker A: I said I had a tickle in my throat. Just a tickle.
• 8:33
  Speaker B: And she's, like, sucking down lozenges.
• 8:35
  Speaker A: One lozenge.
• 8:36
  Speaker B: But it's fine, like, whatever. If I have a sore throat, like, I'm just gonna blame you anyway that on me. Let's just get into, like, hot girl summer vibes, because that's what we're talking about. No, not hot girl summer. Hot mom.
• 8:48
  Speaker A: Hot mom summer. Are you feeling hot mom Summer. Ish.
• 8:51
  Speaker B: I'm not gonna lie to you. You are kinda.
• 8:55
  Speaker A: Because you are.
• 8:56
  Speaker B: You think.
• 8:57
  Speaker A: Yeah. If I saw you walking down the street, I'd be like, you think I'm a hot mom? Hot mom. Oh, yeah.
• 9:03
  Speaker B: Really?
• 9:04
  Speaker A: You're not an ugly mom.
• 9:06
  Speaker B: I think you're a hot mom. I think you made a switch.
• 9:11
  Speaker A: Oh, yeah.
• 9:12
  Speaker B: I'm not gonna give myself the credit. I feel like it has a little bit to do with me.
• 9:18
  Speaker A: She has me on this Pilates challenge.
• 9:20
  Speaker B: Folks, we're doing a Stop. I'm gonna tell you right now. Stop. Seven day plotting.
• 9:27
  Speaker A: I did it with my. Because it's hot three year old daughter yesterday. I'm sore.
• 9:31
  Speaker B: No, same. But seriously, let's just talk about a little bit about like confidence and a little bit of chafing. This dog is running out of it, rubbing the rug with his paws.
• 9:47
  Speaker A: Chafing. Do your thighs touch? I feel like yours don't touch.
• 9:51
  Speaker B: This is why I don't go in the pool. Because I can't be wet, because I can't chafe. Because I can't sweat and I can be wet. I can't have moisture.
• 9:56
  Speaker A: Yeah. I remember when I was pregnant and I would be walking just like a little walk down the street. I literally had like deodorant. Do you know that?
• 10:05
  Speaker B: Yes.
• 10:06
  Speaker A: Deodorant on your thighs.
• 10:07
  Speaker B: Like when I used to dance and have to wear like shorts in the summer. Like.
• 10:13
  Speaker A: Or like biker shorts. Like the type of Nike pros. Okay.
• 10:18
  Speaker B: I cannot wear biker shorts.
• 10:20
  Speaker A: I can't either. It's. I know why I can't. Why can't you?
• 10:23
  Speaker B: I can't because I have five foot.
• 10:25
  Speaker A: I'm five foot and I have no leg and I have no butt. So when. I can't complain when I, When I wear them, I try them on. I have the pair. I have Lululemon ones. But like my leg just looks like an actual chode and then my ass looks like a pair that's just like flat. And then it's like a chode. Flat butt, pair, hideous body. Don't look at me.
• 10:45
  Speaker B: Wait. That image is crazy.
• 10:48
  Speaker A: So don't ever find me in those shorts. But I like, I see moms that just. They're like, they throw them on and they're at Target. Yeah. Two piece set, a little baggy shirt, like, shirt and then those. And like, they look cute. Not for me.
• 11:01
  Speaker B: My biker shorts, like, looks like I'm missing a leg. Like missing half my leg.
• 11:05
  Speaker A: That's how I feel.
• 11:05
  Speaker B: Like I don't have a long. Aesthetically.
• 11:08
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 11:08
  Speaker B: Like I have a coolie. So it like.
• 11:10
  Speaker A: Yeah, but it looks cuter.
• 11:11
  Speaker B: But like, not really with like the biker shorts goes to my knee. They're supposed to stop at the mid thigh. And they don't. No, it's like we can't do that.
• 11:18
  Speaker A: This, like, what are we wearing?
• 11:19
  Speaker B: What are we wearing? Jeans. And we're sweating through our jeans.
• 11:22
  Speaker A: Yeah, but I don't even wear jeans. I only wear Them right now for you.
• 11:27
  Speaker B: You're never gonna. They literally. You roll them up and you put them back on.
• 11:29
  Speaker A: I do, I do. And they live here.
• 11:32
  Speaker B: No, but I literally just wear like flowy pants. I wear flowy pants and sets. Like, I wear like flowy sets.
• 11:38
  Speaker A: I don't know, like on a day. What do you wear on a regular day? Like, I. I think I still wear like black leggings or if I'm by the pool, I wear like a cover up.
• 11:49
  Speaker B: I don't know. I don't even want to go there with like the. Should we get into like the honest talk about like swimsuit.
• 11:57
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 11:57
  Speaker B: Body. Let's just start there because I might cry.
• 12:03
  Speaker A: It's bad.
• 12:04
  Speaker B: And not like I feel like I had the most amazing body pre baby because I never was happy, but I'll never be pleased with my body. But everyone's like, your body changed, your body changes. I was like, like now you guys are like so dramatic. Yes, I gained so much weight, but I'm going to lose. It's gonna be fine. Yeah, your body changes.
• 12:21
  Speaker A: No, it changes.
• 12:22
  Speaker B: And I went wide.
• 12:23
  Speaker A: You get wider.
• 12:25
  Speaker B: And like I have this weird thing on my upper thigh. So I was in a bathing suit.
• 12:30
  Speaker A: Like cellulite situation?
• 12:31
  Speaker B: No, like a bubble of fat.
• 12:36
  Speaker A: Big.
• 12:36
  Speaker B: I'm not body shaming myself because I'm happy no matter what.
• 12:39
  Speaker A: But I like myself.
• 12:40
  Speaker B: Like when I was in the bathing suit. My bathing suit I wear one piece is like, you won't catch me in a two piece.
• 12:46
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 12:46
  Speaker B: First of all, hate my belly button. Second of all, like, I'm tan all over and my belly is just white.
• 12:51
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 12:52
  Speaker B: The belly has never seen this on. Yeah, one piece. Like I feel like I have no curve anymore.
• 12:58
  Speaker A: Sometimes I feel like one pieces are worse.
• 13:00
  Speaker B: You think only because you wear one pieces.
• 13:03
  Speaker A: No, I wear one pieces. But I. But I also have like high waisted two pieces because sometimes I feel like this is the skinniest part on me.
• 13:12
  Speaker B: Like you like a clenching.
• 13:13
  Speaker A: So like you want to like see that or if you're in a one piece, it's like you're like a stuffed sausage and you just.
• 13:20
  Speaker B: It's like a block.
• 13:21
  Speaker A: Yeah. A block walking magnet dial.
• 13:25
  Speaker B: No. I like have this image in my head when I walk out of the door to the pool.
• 13:30
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 13:30
  Speaker B: Like I feel like I'm walking weird because I feel like people are staring at me.
• 13:34
  Speaker A: It could be a lot worse me last summer.
• 13:36
  Speaker B: But I'm not trying to be mean, but like, you lost a lot of weight. You look great.
• 13:40
  Speaker A: I Mean, I look better than I have, but I will still say I have the saggy I breastfed for three years boobs. That you look at them and you're.
• 13:51
  Speaker B: Just like, oh, that's like, let's talk about that. The little line.
• 13:56
  Speaker A: The line goes down your cleavage that it's like the. The double sag. I bet other moms will know what we're talking about.
• 14:06
  Speaker B: The double sack.
• 14:07
  Speaker A: It's the double sag.
• 14:08
  Speaker B: It's the double sag. And I'm freaking out because I just feel like it's. It gives me anxiety because I feel like I look at myself like a different image than what I actually look like. And I can't take a picture of myself because I don't want to look at that.
• 14:19
  Speaker A: And like, I used to love my boobs and now. But 10k, when we get 10k, I'm.
• 14:24
  Speaker B: Getting a boob makeover. No, but I feel like when I'm in a bathing suit, like, I used to just feel sexier and like, yeah, I'm a mom now, so, like, I don't need to be sexy sexy. But I feel like the butt's not budding, the tits aren't titting, the arms are not arming, and the legs are touching too close.
• 14:45
  Speaker A: My legs will never not touch. I don't.
• 14:47
  Speaker B: I'll never have a thigh gap.
• 14:48
  Speaker A: Skinny I get. I think you might have one.
• 14:50
  Speaker B: I do not have a thigh gap.
• 14:52
  Speaker A: I'm jealous of all you thigh gappers out there.
• 14:54
  Speaker B: I know. But honestly, it is what it is. I'm happy. Are you happy?
• 14:57
  Speaker A: I'm happy. I love my life. I love my body. I love what my body gave me.
• 15:02
  Speaker B: No, I love what my body gave me too.
• 15:04
  Speaker A: So let's celebrate that.
• 15:05
  Speaker B: Honestly, enough about us in a bathing suit, please. Because it's like an effort to put on a bathing suit. I feel like I wear the same bathing suit every day. Yeah, I'm just, like, comfortable on it. Yeah, but it's fine. Like, mom's out there. Wear the same bathing suit over and over again. Change the COVID up, you're fine. And change the sunglasses. Yeah, you'll be good. But seriously, like, let's switch it up and talk about the babies by the pool. Like the swim diapers, the blowouts, the. The chasing the toddlers, the diaper rash.
• 15:28
  Speaker A: What's in your bog bag?
• 15:29
  Speaker B: Story of the week. Because we didn't talk about it.
• 15:31
  Speaker A: Right.
• 15:31
  Speaker B: And it's fine because we don't need to talk about it.
• 15:33
  Speaker A: Is it about birds?
• 15:34
  Speaker B: Yeah. My son sat in bird poop. And I put him on the couch and I didn't realize I put him in bird poop.
• 15:40
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 15:41
  Speaker B: And I thought he was eating his snack off the couch.
• 15:43
  Speaker A: It was bird poop.
• 15:44
  Speaker B: He was eating the bird poop for minutes.
• 15:46
  Speaker A: Your poor family. And these birds.
• 15:47
  Speaker B: I know, I can't take it anymore, but talking about summer swimsuits and fucking toddlers. My son's diaper rash was.
• 15:55
  Speaker A: Well, yeah.
• 15:58
  Speaker B: Like I've never seen anything like it. It was actually like someone burned his.
• 16:03
  Speaker A: Because of like the wet. The wet. And then after we went to our.
• 16:06
  Speaker B: Cousin'S party and he was in the pool. Yeah, I feel like he just has my skin like rash. I. And like when they have the rash, you can't put them in the pool. So what else are we going to do this summer? And you have to glob on Desitin. It stinks. It doesn't come off your hands. Or his ass. Yeah, and I have to keep him naked. Then he pees everywhere. It's like a psycho vicious cycle.
• 16:27
  Speaker A: I honestly.
• 16:29
  Speaker B: Your summer never got diaper rashes in the summer.
• 16:31
  Speaker A: No, I mean they have, but they don't get them as bad as Giovanni.
• 16:34
  Speaker B: I need a product that works. Because Desitin took too long. The other products I used didn't even make a dent. It was terrible. He has like a scar. I'm not kidding.
• 16:45
  Speaker A: Yeah, I know. It is better to just leave them naked and just let it just peeing on.
• 16:51
  Speaker B: Just peeing on the furniture.
• 16:53
  Speaker A: It's fine.
• 16:54
  Speaker B: Okay, no problem. But like have you ever had like a really bad. This is what I'm worried about. Like blowouts in a.
• 17:02
  Speaker A: In a pool.
• 17:04
  Speaker B: Like has that happened to you? I'm freaking out.
• 17:06
  Speaker A: No, but in Florida like a couple.
• 17:09
  Speaker B: Summers, what happens if they poop in their swim diaper?
• 17:12
  Speaker A: It stays. Yeah. Unless it escapes and then there's a floating turd nugget in the pool. But that's never happened to my kids. But it has happened in Florida and my sister in law. Really? We. We don't know for sure, but we thought it was my niece and it.
• 17:25
  Speaker B: Was someone else's kids.
• 17:26
  Speaker A: The fuck? No, no, we don't know. Nobody knows. But like you have to clear the pool. Like it's a cold brown you got like it's. It's a situation because it's like. Yeah, because it has. It's poop. So that's never happened.
• 17:38
  Speaker B: And this is why I don't go swimming.
• 17:39
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 17:39
  Speaker B: I mean in any body of water.
• 17:41
  Speaker A: But has your son ever pooped in like the bathtub.
• 17:44
  Speaker B: Yes. Right.
• 17:44
  Speaker A: So that's what happens. It's like, the same thing, but a giant body of pool.
• 17:48
  Speaker B: Giant bodily. So any crazy scenarios with your kids?
• 17:54
  Speaker A: No, I feel like my kids don't poop in water. Like, they need to be outside. They're like weird poopers.
• 17:59
  Speaker B: Okay.
• 18:00
  Speaker A: They wouldn't just poop in water.
• 18:01
  Speaker B: Drew is doing this new thing where he hides in a corner and poop.
• 18:02
  Speaker A: Oh, so that's good then. He won't do it in a pool.
• 18:05
  Speaker B: Hopefully.
• 18:05
  Speaker A: Hopefully.
• 18:06
  Speaker B: Like, he's, like, getting there anyway. But what does like, a hot mom summer reaver mean, though? Like, to you? Tell me more. Getting your body back first. Like, getting your mind back. Funny. Takes on, like, your hot mom summer. Like, what are the looks? Target. Like, what are you wearing? Gap H and M. Like, what are you wearing this summer?
• 18:28
  Speaker A: Whatever you tell me to wear.
• 18:29
  Speaker B: Like, I'm drinking. Okay, rewind. My ideal hot mom summer. My ideal hot mom summer is like, I don't drink iced coffee. Hot coffee, hot coffee. Husband in the pool with sun glasses on, bathing suit cover up on sitting by the pool drinking hot coffee. Ashes fucking. That's cinnamon, sugar, sugar, dash of sugar in my coffee. Sitting there relaxing 20 minutes watching my husband play.
• 19:04
  Speaker A: 20 minutes. That's good.
• 19:05
  Speaker B: Yeah. Like, that's long for me.
• 19:07
  Speaker A: That.
• 19:07
  Speaker B: It's like, my ideal, like, picture.
• 19:10
  Speaker A: Picture perfect summer.
• 19:11
  Speaker B: Yeah. What's your ideal hot mom?
• 19:12
  Speaker A: I mean, it would be similar, but, like, obviously I'd have a cocktail and noted. Cool sunglasses on.
• 19:20
  Speaker B: Cool sunglasses on. We have to buy those. Noted.
• 19:23
  Speaker A: And my husband also just, like, playing with all three of the kids. Like, I don't want to. Don't even look at me. I want my old school Hawaiian tropics, 0 SPF, oil all over my body, and I want to just bake fake. And I want nobody to say mom, no. For 25 minutes.
• 19:40
  Speaker B: You get 25. 25 minutes. I love that. Isn't it crazy? Like, that's your ideal hot mom summer. Like, like, it's not like, on the boat partying. Like, it's like, I want a cup of coffee in my hand. Sitting on a lounge chair.
• 19:53
  Speaker A: Yes.
• 19:54
  Speaker B: I just want when Gio naps, like, I pour myself a glass of wine, I go outside. I feel, like, anxious.
• 20:00
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 20:01
  Speaker B: And I'm doing it.
• 20:01
  Speaker A: Yeah, I know. I. I just. I can't relax when there's cool.
• 20:06
  Speaker B: Like, when there's water.
• 20:07
  Speaker A: Water.
• 20:08
  Speaker B: Like, I can't either. It's too much for my energy to take. But honestly, like, in terms of, like, what I'M wearing this summer. I feel like I'm trying to be more vibrant. I'm trying to just put on the things I used to put on, but mom vibe.
• 20:21
  Speaker A: Okay.
• 20:21
  Speaker B: Like, I feel like I'm mom vibing right now.
• 20:23
  Speaker A: Yeah, right now.
• 20:24
  Speaker B: Tank top, jeans, sandals, hat.
• 20:26
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 20:27
  Speaker B: Back in the day, I probably wouldn't have had the hat on.
• 20:29
  Speaker A: All right, I like the hat. I don't know what I would look like in a hat, but we could try it.
• 20:33
  Speaker B: Do you have a big head?
• 20:35
  Speaker A: I don't know if I have a big head. I hate my ears. Thank God for these headphones.
• 20:40
  Speaker B: I don't mind your ears. Okay. Not that I matter, but honestly, like, I just feel like I'm trying to be cute and trendy as a mom. I really am. I'm trying hard. I'm getting all the products, I'm getting all the clothes, and I'm wearing it, and I'm being confident because confidence is all.
• 20:54
  Speaker A: And TikTok's sending you stuff, right?
• 20:56
  Speaker B: And TikTok is sending me free stuff.
• 20:58
  Speaker A: That was the funniest thing. We were on the phone, and she got. We were waiting for merch to come in, and there was, like, a couple packages at home, and she and her husband Mike was like, oh, what is this? What is all this? And she's like, oh, come on. Tik Tok sent me that.
• 21:11
  Speaker B: No. So anyway, I need. I need to, like, keep up with the trend, though. I need to know, like, what everyone's wearing. I need. Because I don't have time to scroll. So, like, I need someone to, like, send me the trend.
• 21:22
  Speaker A: Oh, talking about trending. How about my jellies.
• 21:26
  Speaker B: Bellies are back? My co host, Emily, best friend's sister, had jellies on. Made fun of her. I'm not gonna lie.
• 21:32
  Speaker A: She was like, what? And then.
• 21:35
  Speaker B: Then I bought them.
• 21:36
  Speaker A: She bought them because they're.
• 21:37
  Speaker B: I was that girl. And I wore them all weekend.
• 21:40
  Speaker A: They're so cool.
• 21:40
  Speaker B: And everyone's like, oh, my God, jellies are back. I used to wear them as a kid.
• 21:43
  Speaker A: Yeah, same.
• 21:44
  Speaker B: Jellies are back.
• 21:46
  Speaker A: They are.
• 21:47
  Speaker B: They just are. So, anyhow, back to regular programming. But I. I said earlier in the episode, like, I spent the whole week down the shore, and it was kind of like my vacation. Yeah, like, what is vacation? When you're just, like, with the same people in a different location. Like, what did. Cause I. I could tell you what I felt like, but, like, tell me what you feel like.
• 22:06
  Speaker A: Well, so we're going down the shore tomorrow for the week. For fourth of July. So we haven't been this summer yet. I'm a little anxious. It's just that when it's not your house. When it's not your. Yeah. I'm just so worried about my kids. Like you have three kids making their kids doing nothing. Like it's my mother in laws and she's great and it's all good. But like it's just when you're not in your comfort zone, it's, it's stressful.
• 22:32
  Speaker B: It is. And you're right to be stressed.
• 22:34
  Speaker A: It's a lot. But I'm excited. Like I'm excited. It's just like, it's like you have.
• 22:37
  Speaker B: Like a separate entity of the house you're gonna be in.
• 22:40
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 22:40
  Speaker B: It's hard.
• 22:41
  Speaker A: Yeah. And like my kid, like, I hope they sleep, I hope they cooperate.
• 22:45
  Speaker B: Yeah. But they'll be tired from like the pool and stuff.
• 22:47
  Speaker A: You think? Right. Hopefully.
• 22:49
  Speaker B: But like what does it feel like? Like I know you haven't gone down vacation ever, so I can't even ask you this question. Should I just talk? I'm just going to talk. Okay. Fuck off.
• 22:58
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 23:00
  Speaker B: So I spent the week downshore with my son. And honestly, I'm not going to lie, it was, it was nerve wracking because.
• 23:07
  Speaker A: Because of the water.
• 23:08
  Speaker B: The water. And like I don't like love to go in the pool with my son. I do. But like my, that's my husband's thing and I.
• 23:15
  Speaker A: Was your husband with you for the week?
• 23:17
  Speaker B: No, he was working and then he had events like all nights. It was one night.
• 23:20
  Speaker A: So you were.
• 23:21
  Speaker B: Yeah, like he was a busy week. So like I was kind of by myself but I did do stuff with my friends. My husband watched Gio one night. Like it was fun. Like it felt like vacation esque but I feel like I couldn't wait to come home because I was just chasing him around. I have to, I have to, I have to stick my nose up his butt and run around the backyard because I cannot take my eyes off this guy. And like again, he had a rash. So like I didn't want him wet for so long. So I was thinking about that and it was just like being alone down there with the pool and the lagoon. It was just like too much. My cousins came down and stayed with me. My babysitter came and stayed with me and hung out with me, thank God. And I felt like a little bit better. But to our point, like vacationing just in a different location is. It's, it's a little, it's the same, but it's a little bit lighter. Like, I just feel like.
• 24:09
  Speaker A: You just feel a little more like.
• 24:10
  Speaker B: Yeah. Like, I'm getting out. I'm getting out. I'm doing this.
• 24:12
  Speaker A: I'm so excited about.
• 24:13
  Speaker B: I can walk along. I look at a body of water. Look at the beats. Like, I can, you know, visually.
• 24:18
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 24:18
  Speaker B: Be somewhere else.
• 24:19
  Speaker A: I'm excited to just, like, walk down to the beach.
• 24:21
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 24:21
  Speaker A: Like, they could play on the sand.
• 24:22
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 24:23
  Speaker A: And I think it'll be nice. Yeah.
• 24:25
  Speaker B: I'm just, like, I get very stimulated by the beach and the sand and, like, all. Plus, it was a hundred. I forgot to mention, it was 105 degrees. We couldn't even walk on my wood in my backyard. It was that hot.
• 24:36
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 24:36
  Speaker B: So, like, my. And the chairs were hot. So, like, I didn't want my son to put his hand on it. So, like, I was stuck in the house with a toddler.
• 24:43
  Speaker A: Yeah, that's so.
• 24:45
  Speaker B: It was just, like, not the vibe, but I feel like the. The beach would have been fine. I think if he didn't have a rash. I would have been a little bit better.
• 24:51
  Speaker A: Yeah. I just feel like down the shore, the air is just.
• 24:53
  Speaker B: Yeah. Like, again, like, I feel like it was. It was fun visually and mentally to just, like, separate from this where I'm at my house all day long, you know, and, like, doing the things around here.
• 25:03
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 25:05
  Speaker B: Not to complain, but it's just 105 fucking degrees.
• 25:08
  Speaker A: It was hot last week.
• 25:09
  Speaker B: That was hot.
• 25:11
  Speaker A: It was really, huh?
• 25:12
  Speaker B: Yeah, it was.
• 25:13
  Speaker A: Ah. What else you got for me?
• 25:17
  Speaker B: And I'm the only one with the freaking iPad today.
• 25:19
  Speaker A: I have nothing.
• 25:20
  Speaker B: You know what else?
• 25:21
  Speaker A: My kids are home with their iPads. If we could talk about a screen time routine.
• 25:24
  Speaker B: Let's talk about routine.
• 25:25
  Speaker A: Screen time up. It's summer vacation. You want your iPad? You got it, dude.
• 25:30
  Speaker B: Yeah. Like, I was going to breakfast with Gio multiple times a day. IPad on table before I even walked in the restaurant.
• 25:37
  Speaker A: It got so bad last week. My neighbors come over. My kid. Neighborhood kids come over all the time.
• 25:44
  Speaker B: The whole entire neighborhood comes to her house.
• 25:47
  Speaker A: They brought their iPads, and they made an iPad club in our treehouse, in our. On our playground. And they were just all sitting on their iPads outside.
• 25:56
  Speaker B: What is life?
• 25:57
  Speaker A: No one's talking to me.
• 25:58
  Speaker B: I don't care, though. I don't care. I really don't.
• 26:00
  Speaker A: It was perfect.
• 26:01
  Speaker B: I do feel like when I have the iPad out, I get stairs. It is uncomfortable. But, like, why?
• 26:07
  Speaker A: I don't give a flying fuck but.
• 26:10
  Speaker B: You know what was really sweet, though? When I went to breakfast with Gio by myself, like, obviously took out the iPad, like, probably 20 minutes in.
• 26:15
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 26:16
  Speaker B: I couldn't get through with the stroller. Like, I feel like people were staring at me, and I always think, like, they're staring at me because they're judging me. But I feel like one of the guy. The dads that were, like, across the way staring at me, he wanted to help me, I think, because when I was leaving, he's like, do you need a hand? I was like, yes, please. Meanwhile, I thought he was judging me the entire time I was eating breakfast, but he was just trying to, like, ask if I needed help, which was really sweet.
• 26:36
  Speaker A: That's nice. What'd you need help with?
• 26:38
  Speaker B: The stroller. Fit the stroller through the restaurant.
• 26:42
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 26:43
  Speaker B: But I feel like I've been trying to get out of routine a little bit. Like, getting up, taking Gio out of the house, going for breakfast, going for a walk. Then he gets tired. We play outside. We play in the pool. I bought him, like, a standing, like, water thing to play with, a swimming pool to play in. And he does nap well down the shore, which is good.
• 27:01
  Speaker A: Honestly, kids don't need much. Like, my kids were so happy to have a hose.
• 27:07
  Speaker B: Yeah. I'm just like, same. Gio was playing with.
• 27:09
  Speaker A: They made the rainbow. Like, they made rainbows, and they were playing limbo, like, with the hose, and.
• 27:13
  Speaker B: They were fine, and that's that.
• 27:14
  Speaker A: And I, like, want to buy the biggest, best, like, bounce house, like, water slide. They don't need it. They don't need any of that. They're just happy with a hose. And, like, we got water balloons, and they were, like, so happy. We. You know what they really want? They want quality time with mom and dad playing. Like, we did, like, while your husband was there, too. Yeah. Well, so my husband switched to working nights now.
• 27:34
  Speaker B: We hate that.
• 27:35
  Speaker A: So he's hate it. But I do have to say we see him more kind of during the day. He's exhausted, but, like, he sleeps, and then he has a couple hours where he's actually, like, with us during the day. So, like, he was able to, like, do water balloons with us in the middle of the day. Yeah.
• 27:50
  Speaker B: That's cute.
• 27:50
  Speaker A: And my kids loved it because they had dad, and we were just, like, playing around in our backyard.
• 27:56
  Speaker B: Yeah. Although I love that, but I feel.
• 27:58
  Speaker A: Like he was just worried about the grass being dead.
• 28:00
  Speaker B: Yeah. And nothing. Nothing else. But I do have to say, like, his routine's getting out of Whack. Yeah, because. Because this is why I feel. I mean, the mom, Summer girl. Like, I feel like I need to be doing so many things with Gio, but then I'm like, we're ruining routine, which is. It's okay. But like, we're playing, we're having fun because I want to do other things in the summer. He misses his new nap. He falls asleep in the car because we're coming home from a fun activity. He doesn't go down till three o' clock. I'm exhausted. He sleeps till six. And I'm like, what is happening?
• 28:35
  Speaker A: Yeah. Vienna begged last night at 6pm she begged. She didn't need dinner.
• 28:39
  Speaker B: She begs to go put me to sleep.
• 28:41
  Speaker A: I'm like, all right.
• 28:42
  Speaker B: You're like, what? Well, you know that guilt. I have guilt this summer. Like, I feel like I should be doing so much more with you, but I feel like I am. But I also have that guilt still. So does it go away?
• 28:52
  Speaker A: I guess not.
• 28:52
  Speaker B: Do you have it? Talk to me.
• 28:55
  Speaker A: I don't know if I have my. I have guilt.
• 28:57
  Speaker B: It's like summer guilt. It's like activity. Like you have to be doing all these things in the summer with your kids.
• 29:01
  Speaker A: Yeah, like, but I. I, like, we have. I have like a bucket list that I are trying to get through.
• 29:06
  Speaker B: You follow like Mary Poppins.
• 29:09
  Speaker A: It's Mommy Poppins. But no, my kids really want to make like a lemonade stand, but it's like little stuff like that.
• 29:14
  Speaker B: Yeah, well, like, I don't. I need a sibling for him, I think.
• 29:17
  Speaker A: Yeah, you need a sibling.
• 29:18
  Speaker B: I just feel like, like, for you, school's out. Like, I feel like, is it more chaotic or you like it?
• 29:22
  Speaker A: I mean, it's absolutely more chaotic. Okay, well, I have all of them home and we have nothing to do. But yeah, like, driving.
• 29:28
  Speaker B: You don't feel guilty? Like, I feel like you feel guilty sitting in the house. That's why you go out.
• 29:32
  Speaker A: I. I guess. But I also. Now I'm thinking about it. Like, should I, like, be trying to, like, do.
• 29:39
  Speaker B: You're feeling the guilt as we're sitting.
• 29:41
  Speaker A: Here currently, like, like, like reading with them or like something more like academics?
• 29:47
  Speaker B: You're not saying to read with your kids in the summer.
• 29:50
  Speaker A: In the summer.
• 29:50
  Speaker B: Summer reading starts now.
• 29:54
  Speaker A: We picked up a book yet? Yeah, no, I.
• 29:59
  Speaker B: You're like, missing the things. Vienna's going to dance camp. Joey just has theater camp.
• 30:04
  Speaker A: Yeah. Oh, they did. So we had two camps and now we're done. Now it's like full on. School's out school's. Yeah. Joey was so cute in his theater camp.
• 30:13
  Speaker B: They did theater boy. Do you love it?
• 30:19
  Speaker A: It's so cute. He really.
• 30:21
  Speaker B: No, it actually makes me cry. Why does it make me cry?
• 30:24
  Speaker A: He's so enjoying it.
• 30:26
  Speaker B: I can cry. Why do I want to cry?
• 30:28
  Speaker A: He was. And one of the teachers was like, he really is like, star. Like, he. He, like, needs to get his lines right. Like, he. He, like, needs to do it right.
• 30:36
  Speaker B: I'll throw up. He's so cute.
• 30:38
  Speaker A: He was really cute. He was in Ace of Spades in Alice in Wonderland, and he just was.
• 30:43
  Speaker B: Did you cry when you were watching it?
• 30:45
  Speaker A: I didn't cry that time, but I. I don't know. I wasn't feeling that emotional.
• 30:48
  Speaker B: She was on stage in an Ace of Spades crying. I'm literally full blown. Tears are coming out of my eyeballs.
• 30:55
  Speaker A: Yeah, it was really cute. And was your husband, like, so proud? Yeah.
• 31:01
  Speaker B: Was Vienna so proud?
• 31:02
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 31:02
  Speaker B: I'm gonna throw up everywhere.
• 31:03
  Speaker A: Rocco almost ran on the stage. Rocco was. I'm never bringing Rocco to another show again. He was terrible.
• 31:08
  Speaker B: He was done. Never going again.
• 31:11
  Speaker A: I couldn't even sit on, like, the regular chair. So we sat on, like the. The front floor, and it's like a big stage and Rocco would not sit down. He was good for like 20 minutes. But the show was your mom. Yeah, my mom was there. My sister in law went and. But Rocco literally, when he'd see Jojo, he's like, jojo. And then he wanted to, like, run on the stage. He didn't understand, like, let him. You would have ruined the whole show. Pulled down the curtains. He would have ruined the whole show.
• 31:38
  Speaker B: Would have loved that would have been great for this podcast. I would have loved nothing more than for you to do that.
• 31:43
  Speaker A: Oh, man.
• 31:43
  Speaker B: But I just. I just feel like a little like, I love the summer, don't get me wrong. But did you ever have a summer when it was just Joey? Yeah, right. Like, what did you do with one.
• 31:53
  Speaker A: Child when he was. Well, it was Covid.
• 31:56
  Speaker B: I always forgot this. I will stop talking to you about your single parenting.
• 31:59
  Speaker A: And I was pregnant. I was pregnant. I can't even remember a time when I just had Joey. Isn't that crazy?
• 32:07
  Speaker B: I can't remember that either.
• 32:08
  Speaker A: Well, it was a shock.
• 32:09
  Speaker B: How do you manage? Like, how do you. Do you feel like you're having fun or just like, managing a bunch of kids right now? Yeah, like, summertime vibe.
• 32:18
  Speaker A: Like, I have fun when we're out in the backyard. Like, I'm playing with them. Too. But then I'm like, okay, wait. Like, I want to sit down and relax and tan for five seconds. Like, give me a second. But then like, I'm enjoying these moments. Like you only get these moments for so long and I. It's fun. They're at fun ages. Like, they're so fun to play with, but like they want to do all the things they want to play.
• 32:38
  Speaker B: Do you feel like, chaotic or.
• 32:39
  Speaker A: No, I feel chaotic, but I like the chaos of. I like the chaos of summer fun. I think that's what it is. So that's why I don't think I'm feeling the mom guilt, because I'm just living in the moment.
• 32:51
  Speaker B: There's no room for guilt in your mind.
• 32:53
  Speaker A: Yeah, there's nothing like I would rather be doing than doing the chaos of my day to day.
• 32:59
  Speaker B: Like, I feel like I can't sit in the house in the summertime with my son. I feel guilty. I don't understand it. That's why I really have been enjoying, like taking Gio out for breakfast.
• 33:07
  Speaker A: Yeah, that's nice. And you should keep doing that because imagine me just by myself taking the three of them out for breakfast right now. That's not fun. No, that is not fucking fun. That sounds like a prison sentence. I mean, I've done it before and it's not. It's just like, it's not fun.
• 33:24
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 33:25
  Speaker A: So I won't do it.
• 33:26
  Speaker B: Does it make you nervous or you just don't want to do it because it's not fun?
• 33:29
  Speaker A: It's just not fun things fun about it. They. If one starts having a tantrum, one wants to sit here, one wants me to help feed them, one wants. This one needs to go to the bathroom. I have to take them all to the bathroom.
• 33:40
  Speaker B: You're like, how do you do that? You have to take all three kids to the bathroom?
• 33:43
  Speaker A: Yeah, if one. One of them has to go. Yeah, that's why I don't. You don't really do stuff alone with your three kids out. People this age, they're so little.
• 33:53
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 33:53
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 33:54
  Speaker B: You need some. You can, but you need somebody with you. Yeah, totally.
• 33:58
  Speaker A: I personally do.
• 33:59
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 33:59
  Speaker A: If you don't and you're out there, that's good for you.
• 34:02
  Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, that's awesome.
• 34:03
  Speaker A: Yeah. I need help. Same.
• 34:08
  Speaker B: I don't know, I just like, you know me, I like, I kind of thrive better on routine, which is okay. And I feel like.
• 34:14
  Speaker A: So you're feeling the guilt of not. Of wanting to be off routine because it's summer and you Want to be a little loose, but, like, you also want to keep the nap. Keep the.
• 34:22
  Speaker B: Yeah, because I need a minute. I want to sit outside with a glass of wine, like, and then just like sit in the sun for a minute.
• 34:27
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 34:29
  Speaker B: My parents backyard down the shore is like not ready for a toddler, which is nerve wracking. And not that anything would happen, but like, everything's hot, there's water. Like he's.
• 34:39
  Speaker A: He's.
• 34:39
  Speaker B: He went sleeping. You ever watch ridiculousness and they always do that. Like, what's that move? Pull when they fall in their face? It's called something.
• 34:45
  Speaker A: I don't know.
• 34:46
  Speaker B: He did that down those steps and he landed there and he was stuck on his face upside down on the hot pavement. No, it wasn't hot that day, but I was. And I was right behind him.
• 34:55
  Speaker A: Rocco did hot. He was stuck on the hot. On our hot deck. And he was just screaming. Thankfully, I was right there where I picked him up. But he didn't know to like. His instinct wasn't to run off the hot. It was just to stand there still. So he was burning his feet more.
• 35:09
  Speaker B: See, that freaks me out.
• 35:10
  Speaker A: Yeah. Like, that's sad. I was. I was so upset, but he was fine. But still watch out for hot pavement.
• 35:15
  Speaker B: I know it's scary. So. Yeah. I just feel like that's a scary situation to have. Like, that's why I feel. I didn't go outside with Jill when it was 105 degrees because you can't touch a single thing.
• 35:26
  Speaker A: I mean, that was hot. That was a hot week last week. I have a mom hack. Connie, could I have a snack and like a drink?
• 35:35
  Speaker B: I need chips or something. I want to eat them while we talk.
• 35:39
  Speaker A: What's in your bog bag?
• 35:42
  Speaker B: Okay, I have diapers, wipes, swim diapers. I have sunscreen. I have chapstick for myself.
• 35:55
  Speaker A: In your bog bag. Are you packing? Like, if you need a change of clothes for yourself, is that going in the bog bag also? Or is the bug bag strictly for geo stuff? Crunch, crunch. I'm starving. I'm really hungry too. Can we wrap this up and go get lunch?
• 36:12
  Speaker B: We always do this. Batgirl summer.
• 36:15
  Speaker A: Fat girl summer. I like that it's gonna be so.
• 36:17
  Speaker B: Loud, but I have to eat something real quick. Sorry. So if you're listening to this, I apologize. What's that disorder people have when they.
• 36:24
  Speaker A: Hate to hear people too?
• 36:25
  Speaker B: It's happening right now.
• 36:28
  Speaker A: People are cringing in their cars.
• 36:30
  Speaker B: What else do I have? My bag. Bag.
• 36:31
  Speaker A: I don't know.
• 36:32
  Speaker B: I have.
• 36:32
  Speaker A: It's packed neatly. Because when we were at our family party, I had, like, bras hanging out of my.
• 36:39
  Speaker B: Let's talk about that.
• 36:41
  Speaker A: You were cracking.
• 36:42
  Speaker B: I show up with the same color bog as Emily. Puff neatly, towel, extra clothes, extra bathing suit, my clothes, my husband's clothes, sunscreen, bottle milk. Like, everything is laid out. I walk in the backyard. Emily's bog bag is not only on top of her stroller, her bra's hanging out, loading out. Like, I think you placed it there. That's how, like, neatly it was hanging out of your bag.
• 37:05
  Speaker A: To be fair, my kids were looking for their goggles, so they were going through my bog bag like. Like, they were, like, rummaging through it. That's why I can't keep anything neat. I like to tell myself that.
• 37:18
  Speaker B: But mind you, I'm so sorry for eating these chips on set. I'm so hungry. Mind you. Eat em. First of all, if you've never had siete avocado oil, corn to Taylor chip sea salt. Mind you, we were at a party with aunts, uncles, 25 children, cousins, bra underwear hanging out of the mog bag. Like, are you okay?
• 37:41
  Speaker A: No.
• 37:42
  Speaker B: Why didn't you? But I told her, and she still left it there.
• 37:46
  Speaker A: Honestly, I was in the pool with three of my children. I couldn't be bothered about a bra hanging out of my bag. Just trying to save a life. I'm okay. My crunch is not as crunchy.
• 38:00
  Speaker B: You.
• 38:01
  Speaker A: Know, when you're in, like, a theater.
• 38:03
  Speaker B: It's me right now.
• 38:04
  Speaker A: Actually, that was Rocco at the theater. I was giving him pirate's booty to keep him quiet during Joey's show. And it was every time we, like, went in the bag, it was like, crunch, crunch, crunch.
• 38:14
  Speaker B: I needed that so bad. What else do you have to say to me? Say it with your chest. I definitely have food in my teeth.
• 38:23
  Speaker A: My chest. My chest is sad.
• 38:26
  Speaker B: Oh, my God, I have chips on my mouth. Hmm. Honestly, let's just, like, wrap this segment up with, like, our genuine take on how we feel about our hot mom summer bods. Get deep, get deep. Dive in. Go into the grave. Bury yourself, girl.
• 38:46
  Speaker A: Currently, about my hot mom bod. Summer, do you think you're sexy? Yeah, I know it.
• 38:52
  Speaker B: Like, I don't feel sexy. I don't feel like sex appeal is coming out of radiating.
• 38:58
  Speaker A: I feel like I'm feeling sexier. I'm getting my sexy back. That's how I feel. Definitely, I'm last summer. No, I was the opposite of sexy. I was a two puff chuffy Buffy. I was a Beach.
• 39:12
  Speaker B: Puffy. Juffy. Puffy.
• 39:14
  Speaker A: I remember putting on a bathing suit last summer and being like, shit, this is going to suck. And now when I put on a bathing suit, I'm like, I'm bad. I mean, still not great, but it's better.
• 39:25
  Speaker B: Thank God I know how to dress. Because.
• 39:27
  Speaker A: Yeah, I feel like it is. It is. Like, you do.
• 39:31
  Speaker B: Look at me and, like, she's sexy. I feel like I'm a. I'm a loser goofball.
• 39:36
  Speaker A: Like, you're a hot mom. Sex.
• 39:39
  Speaker B: Words of affirmation. Talk to me.
• 39:40
  Speaker A: You're so hot.
• 39:42
  Speaker B: Like, do I look. Look at her. Oh, my gosh, she looks so sexy. Like, I just feel like I'm like.
• 39:46
  Speaker A: No, I feel you always. You always look so good.
• 39:49
  Speaker B: I have a complex. What's happening to me?
• 39:50
  Speaker A: Something's wrong with you.
• 39:51
  Speaker B: Turn off. Okay, I'm ready. I mean, what do I need to do? Lose weight? No. Get a makeover? Facial?
• 40:05
  Speaker A: Tits. You need BBL, 440 cc's, baby pedicure, manicure. I need all of that.
• 40:12
  Speaker B: Laser hair removal.
• 40:16
  Speaker A: I need literally everything. You just said Botox. I haven't had that in three years.
• 40:22
  Speaker B: I'm never getting Botox again.
• 40:23
  Speaker A: Okay, it's bad for you.
• 40:25
  Speaker B: No, not because that. I just don't want it.
• 40:27
  Speaker A: Oh, I do.
• 40:29
  Speaker B: I am gonna put something in my lips, though.
• 40:33
  Speaker A: Like what?
• 40:34
  Speaker B: I think I'm gonna eject, like, a couple units in my lips. What do you say? My husband hates that. I would never do that. I have nice lips. I know that.
• 40:44
  Speaker A: I'm injecting my boobs.
• 40:46
  Speaker B: I want with. What are you injecting?
• 40:48
  Speaker A: I just want fake boobs. Like.
• 40:51
  Speaker B: I know. Me, too. I do, too.
• 40:52
  Speaker A: You do? Yeah. You still do? Yeah. Wait till all your kids are.
• 40:56
  Speaker B: Yeah, definitely.
• 40:58
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 40:58
  Speaker B: Do you have anything else to say to me?
• 41:00
  Speaker A: Do you have anything to say to me?
• 41:02
  Speaker B: Like, we're missing, like, a lot of things we didn't record last week because.
• 41:06
  Speaker A: Why not?
• 41:07
  Speaker B: You know What? That we don't have to give anybody a reason.
• 41:10
  Speaker A: I don't even remember why. Because we were not summer. It's summer and we have busy schedules.
• 41:15
  Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, you were in Atlantic City.
• 41:18
  Speaker A: Oh, I was in Atlantic City. I had a ball in Atlantic City. Let me tell you, if you need time away and you need to get your sexy back, tell us about that real quick.
• 41:26
  Speaker B: You felt sexy with your husband in ac, did you not?
• 41:29
  Speaker A: I mean, yes, but I.
• 41:31
  Speaker B: There was, like.
• 41:31
  Speaker A: I wasn't worried about kids coming in. I wasn't looking at cameras. I wasn't Looking at monitors.
• 41:36
  Speaker B: So you think the environment is not making us feel sexy?
• 41:40
  Speaker A: Maybe because I was back in my happy place of a hotel room in Atlantic City and I was with my husband and we had a grand old time. That's all.
• 41:51
  Speaker B: I'll say I want more, but don't give it to me.
• 41:53
  Speaker A: I guess I won't.
• 41:53
  Speaker B: Oh, God. I'm happy for you. You look like you had great sex.
• 41:57
  Speaker A: I did. Good. Only takes two seconds to make a baby.
• 42:03
  Speaker B: We're not going there. We're definitely not going there.
• 42:05
  Speaker A: Okay.
• 42:06
  Speaker B: I have too many children right now.
• 42:08
  Speaker A: Too many.
• 42:08
  Speaker B: And birds around me.
• 42:10
  Speaker A: Not the birds.
• 42:11
  Speaker B: Children and birds.
• 42:12
  Speaker A: Are we done? 2K?
• 42:14
  Speaker B: Yeah, we hit 2K. I'm really proud of us. I really am.
• 42:17
  Speaker A: I mean, our. Our husbands actually have to say this. They are saying that our husbands.
• 42:23
  Speaker B: Our husbands are saying that they put.
• 42:27
  Speaker A: Us on the map.
• 42:28
  Speaker B: Imagine.
• 42:31
  Speaker A: Because the one episode has over 8,000.
• 42:34
  Speaker B: Yeah, okay. Granted, the episode with them has over 8, 000 views.
• 42:37
  Speaker A: Which is awesome.
• 42:38
  Speaker B: Which is awesome. We love them. They're sexy, they're hot, they're men. But like, hello, give us credit. There was about nine other episodes.
• 42:47
  Speaker A: They just want to give us. But whatever we got, we're. We're moving up.
• 42:51
  Speaker B: So, 2K. Read it and weep.
• 42:53
  Speaker A: Just wait till our other guests come. Come on.
• 42:56
  Speaker B: Anyway, do you have anything else to say? Should I read this little notepad that I have in front of me?
• 43:02
  Speaker A: Read it. What about. What else about mom has anything.
• 43:06
  Speaker B: Real quick, though, before we wrap this up, is anything, like, really scary happen to you in the summertime that, like, you'll never do with your kids again?
• 43:11
  Speaker A: Oh, actually yesterday I was walking. I took a little walk. I had the wagon, the wonderful wagon that I.
• 43:18
  Speaker B: 3,000 pound one that you talked about.
• 43:20
  Speaker A: I was. Because my husband had took Joey to the doctor and the stroller was in the other truck. So I only had the wagon. I had Vienna and Rocco in the wagon. And we were walking to the park. And like behind me, I feel, you know when you, like, feel a car, but it was like going really slowly, like rolling slowly. And it was a van. It was a silver. It wasn't a white van, but it was a silver van. And they were just going really, really slow. And I was like. My heart started.
• 43:47
  Speaker B: Did you actually get freaked out?
• 43:48
  Speaker A: Oh, my God. My heart started pounding. And I remember as a kid when I was like, walking to like 7:11 and I would, like, feel like I was about to get kidnapped. That was the same feeling that I had.
• 43:56
  Speaker B: No, that's scary.
• 43:57
  Speaker A: It's a scary feeling. But then I was like, what would I do? Because, like, I have these two children that I'm. I need. Obviously, I'd protect them with my life. But then how am I going to fight this kidnapper when they probably just want my kids and they don't want me, and then I'm just going to, like, I don't even know what I would do.
• 44:12
  Speaker B: Like, do you know what this happened to me? You just reminded me I was on a. Same walk.
• 44:16
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 44:16
  Speaker B: And around the block here. Do the same walk all the time with Bama and the baby.
• 44:20
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 44:21
  Speaker B: And the same thing happened to me. So this car followed behind me.
• 44:25
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 44:27
  Speaker B: Then stopped at the stop sign, and I was like, slow, slow, slow. But I had to, like, keep walking. Like, what was I gonna do?
• 44:32
  Speaker A: Turn around, Right.
• 44:33
  Speaker B: So they made a left. So I kept going and I made a right. Yeah, I saw them go. So they're going this way and I'm going this way.
• 44:39
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 44:40
  Speaker B: And they're going slow, and I'm, like, walking and I'm looking behind me. They turn around. Okay. So not only did it scare me that they were going slow left where I was going, right. They turn, and now they're coming towards me. I'm freaking out. Do you know what I. My brain went to? I was passing this house. They have a gate that you can get in from the outside.
• 44:57
  Speaker A: You went and pretended it was your house.
• 44:59
  Speaker B: So I stopped in front of him because I said to myself, if this car stops and tries to get out of the car and, like, say something to me or steal my child and my dog. Yeah, I'll just go in there because they're not killers. I'll just. Those. I think I'm crazy, but I'll explain later. Yeah, I was no joke, standing in.
• 45:12
  Speaker A: Front of this gate, ready to go there.
• 45:14
  Speaker B: If that car stopped, I was going to open it and go in their backyard.
• 45:18
  Speaker A: I did something similar.
• 45:18
  Speaker B: What else would I do?
• 45:19
  Speaker A: No, I did something similar. I. So they were. They were coming by. But also, you have to remember, like, people try to slow down when they see kids and, like, a mom just to be safe. So, like, that's probably what they were doing.
• 45:30
  Speaker B: This was an Uber driver, like, looking to drop off food. So I didn't know where he was going. I saw his, like, phone in his right. My heart was racing.
• 45:35
  Speaker A: Yeah, it's. It's like the panic. It's like the race. So I just, like, pretended that the house that was right here, I pretended to, like, see someone. I was Like. And I started, like, waving outside. How are you? No one was there. No one was outside. But I just wanted them. I wanted them to think that I was talking to somebody. And then they drove away like, it was fine. They were probably just being slow because.
• 45:56
  Speaker B: They saw you just pretended to wait.
• 45:58
  Speaker A: I was like, no. But I even said.
• 45:59
  Speaker B: I was like, hi. Was Vanna like, mom, what the fuck?
• 46:03
  Speaker A: I'm crazy. But it was no.
• 46:05
  Speaker B: It's so scary that we even have to go there. As a mom. As a hot mom. Summer.
• 46:10
  Speaker A: Hot mom. Summer vibe. Yeah.
• 46:13
  Speaker B: I'm glad you're okay.
• 46:15
  Speaker A: I'm fine.
• 46:17
  Speaker B: Anyhow, do you have anything else to say? Summer's gonna be fun.
• 46:22
  Speaker A: I do. I was in Atlantic City for my nanny's birthday. She turned 22. My husband and I were pretending we were 22, partying. We were at the tables, and we are just so old. We don't even get carded every. They carded her and her boyfriend and her friends. They just skipped. Skip Joe and I and just skip over you. They skipped over us. Like, we weren't even in the realm of in our 20s. No, I. I, like, cried. I was like, what about me? And they were like, oh, you're good. And I was like, but. But I'm not.
• 46:57
  Speaker B: Card me now.
• 46:58
  Speaker A: And they were like, all right, we'll do it because we feel bad for you. But. But isn't that rude?
• 47:04
  Speaker B: Yeah, it is rude. See that right there. Be, like, not sexy. I'm not sexy. Never leaving the house again. Bye.
• 47:09
  Speaker A: I was so not close to 21. We're closer to 40.
• 47:15
  Speaker B: You're closer to 40. Watch your mouth.
• 47:18
  Speaker A: You're still closer to 40. I don't know. I can't do math. Don't say that.
• 47:24
  Speaker B: My husband's almost 40.
• 47:25
  Speaker A: Anyway, five years.
• 47:29
  Speaker B: Anyway, I'm excited for summer, though, because our kids are at a fun age and we're doing fun things. We have a party this weekend. Yeah, we're all going to be together. So much fun. I can't wait.
• 47:38
  Speaker A: See you on the beach.
• 47:39
  Speaker B: You on the beach?
• 47:40
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 47:41
  Speaker B: Okay. So anyway, just to, like, recap a little bit, if you've been listening to this little EPI that we are releasing, we have a website that we're launching, Merch. All the merch you could think of. Really cute. Get a zoom in on the hat. Thank you very much.
• 47:54
  Speaker A: Really is cute.
• 47:55
  Speaker B: We hit 2K subscribers. Don't forget it. Like, follow, subscribe if you haven't already. We're having a special guest in a couple weeks. Looking forward to her coming on the podcast. And we're hot. We know it. Although we complain and we have talked shit this entire episode.
• 48:15
  Speaker A: I know. I feel like we really body shamed ourselves.
• 48:17
  Speaker B: But it's okay. I. I am really happy with myself.
• 48:19
  Speaker A: I am.
• 48:20
  Speaker B: You.
• 48:20
  Speaker A: I am. I am. Recently. I feel good.
• 48:24
  Speaker B: I feel good.
• 48:25
  Speaker A: Yeah. And like, we created life.
• 48:28
  Speaker B: Let's stand up and show everybody.
• 48:31
  Speaker A: On that one.
• 48:33
  Speaker B: Sexy. My kid just woke up.
• 48:39
  Speaker A: Wow.
• 48:39
  Speaker B: Dead serious. He just woke up. We have to go.
• 48:41
  Speaker A: Bye.
• 48:41
  Speaker B: Bye. Okay. We love you so much. Thanks for listening. Episode 11 Happy 4th of July. Red, white and blue. Oh, say can you see?
• 48:52
  Speaker A: Did you get 4th of July pajamas? You did?
• 48:55
  Speaker B: Yeah, I did. I did.
• 48:56
  Speaker A: Okay. Bye.
• 48:56
  Speaker B: Bye.
• 49:02
  Speaker A: Sam.