Latest / The Growth Project / Episode 373: Luck Is a Mindset

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Episode 373: Luck Is a Mindset · The Growth Project

• 0:00
  when you are prepared, you know that that moment of momentum, shift of opportunity.
• 0:06
  Like, it's just that it's an opportunity and you're excited about it. You're prepared for it, and you're ready to face it head on, and create that lucky break.
• 0:17
  Welcome to the Growth Project podcast, brought to you by the team here at AMP Los,
• 0:23
  where we're focused on helping individuals and organizations pursue better. And, you know, I'm here with Doctor Matt louder.
• 0:30
  we are excited to dive into a topic today that I think will be very relevant to where we're at filming Gabby on, Saint Patrick's Day.
• 0:38
  Yeah. Saint Baptiste day, you got your. I've got my green on you do not right. Yeah. The less, fun I become. Yeah. And, less festival of, festival become. But, I love the topic because today, the day we think about the luck of the average. And, and I love what you've come up with is.
• 0:58
  Okay, what do we look at. What is love. What is. Yeah. What does it mean to be lucky. What does it mean to be unlucky. And other certain traits and characteristics that quote unquote lucky people see that happen with the not. Yeah. And so I'll look forward to kind of diving into this and thinking about the psychology of luck.
• 1:14
  And what are we really talking about here. Yeah. Well, you you mentioned the psychology of luck, and I think that it's just that like, what is luck? We've all grown up around, you know, Saint Patrick's Day and it being this idea of there's lucky individuals and at the end of the rainbow, you get a pot of gold, right.
• 1:31
  So here we're really talking about how do you create luck and really boils down to your perceptions, of the world around you, your perception of opportunities,
• 1:40
  and your preparation to be able to capitalize on opportunities as they present themselves. Yeah. So, so I think that what I like is kind of debunking a little bit the myth of luck versus unlucky.
• 1:53
  And we don't mean your minimizing your pain if you find yourself or see yourself as unlucky, but a little bit of the label that you applied to your fortune or lack thereof, to your blessings in your life or lack thereof, that's what we're trying to take a deeper dive into and and hopefully encourage you to change your perception and see things in a different way, which is one of the purposes of why we do what we do.
• 2:14
  Well, I think a great opener here would be for us to talk a little bit about maybe times in our lives where we felt lucky or unlucky. So, Mel, do you feel ready to answer this question?
• 2:26
  I got to be honest, I think I felt lucky my whole life.
• 2:29
  Well,
• 2:30
  you know, and that word can mean so many things. But to me, when I think about my life. It's really more than. And I'm a dreamer, Gabby. But it's more than I could dream. I think there's been so many blessings in my life that have even come from the hard times in my life.
• 2:46
  I'm sure at times, my mother used to say he used to, as a child, when something would happen to somebody, or so I would look around you lucky, like I would. I have this in here. You're so lucky because you get to do that. Yeah. And I'm sure there were times where I felt unlucky, but I'm not quite sure.
• 3:08
  I got to really think about this, because I want to make sure my comments are are reflective. But I'm struggling to think of times in my life where I felt that I was unlucky. Like, I'm sure there were times in my life the ball and bounced my way, that it was a struggle, that it was easier to compare myself to others who, quote unquote, seemed to have more than I did or seem to have more opportunities than I did.
• 3:31
  But but overall, I think I've been so tremendously blessed by the people that God has put in my life, by the work that God has put in my life, by the opportunities he's put in front of me, by, the strengths or gifts that he's given me. I'm probably looking back a little bit colored, like rose colored glasses.
• 3:50
  Yeah, a little bit. I'm sure there were times in my life where I felt it was unlucky, but for the most part, I think I have a positive outlook in view, quote unquote luck in that way. I feel very fortunate.
• 4:05
  Well, let me tell you, that's where I hope everybody gets to in life is when you're asked that question, only being able to reflect and recall the the good and acknowledgment of, hey, there were surely moments in my life where I felt unlucky in a situation or with an outcome, but big picture, when you reflect back on it, you feel like your life has.
• 4:29
  You've been a pretty lucky individual, like you talked about the accomplishments and, I think a lot of it comes down to relationships you build and how all of that ties together into your overall perception of the life you've lived. So to me, hearing that I'm like, that gives me hope that that gives me some hope. The struggle wasn't real.
• 4:49
  Yeah, it was a grinding but but but there's to me a, you know, to think about the opportunity that I can just doesn't make sense. Background is nontraditional in psychology. And, my, my upbringing, my I cannot it makes a whole lot of sense there. And, I've been able to do things that are really meaningful to me.
• 5:10
  And hopefully encourage others along the way. And so I appreciate that reflection again. I'm sure I wasn't always like that. I'm sure there's kind of like, well, it's not fair or. Yeah, I know this, but but even I look back in sports, I mean, I look at my size and my height and I can I have never felt it as a disadvantage.
• 5:28
  Right. Yeah. I'm just going to have to work a little bit harder and be a little bit tougher and go dig a little bit deeper. So yeah. So I, I hope that doesn't come across. I hope it comes across in a very genuine way, because I think that's how I feel and that's how it's reflected. Yeah.
• 5:44
  I, I think it does. And, you know, when I think of luck and reflecting back on experiences I've had, you know, I would agree, like I think when I reflect back on my life as a whole, I'm like, wow, I'm I would consider myself very lucky to get to the point that I'm at today and the, you know, circumstances, the adversity I had to overcome and all of that.
• 6:06
  I think like, wow, yes, I'm a very lucky person. But I can also say there were times in my life where I did feel unlucky, whether that be with family dynamics or with, relationships or, you know, feeling unlucky and in sports even. And so when I think back on that, there are cycles in my life where I got stuck in a mentality of like, gosh, I'm just I'm on the kind of this losing battle here.
• 6:38
  And I think that a lot of, you know, to your point as well, like there were a times in your life where you've been in that cycle, but it's being able to break that. And that's what we want to talk about today is how do you not get caught up and viewing your life as unlucky? You just reminded me of when I, my rehearsal dinner, the night before, and I kind of gave my drums and speech.
• 7:00
  I used the old, Lou Gehrig today. You know, I kind of that great. I consider myself the luckiest man on earth. I, and think about when he said that, I'm standing in front of the Yankees, of getting to play a game. And, the challenges that he would, he was going to face. So I love the topic in it.
• 7:19
  And, and then I hopefully it's going to make already our leaders, our listeners reflect. And their life I hope so when the times your life that you felt quote unquote lucky and then one of the times you felt unlucky and maybe how do we define that and. Yeah. And learn from those experiences. Awesome
• 7:36
  So let's let's define it.
• 7:38
  Let's define luck on that. On that note here. And and what luck really is, it's this combination of random events that are happening to you throughout life and your ability to notice and act on those, your perception of those. And that's all luck is at the end of the day, is what's happening and how you're perceiving and responding to me.
• 7:58
  That sticks out when you say that Gabby is seemingly random. Yes, seemingly random, like like that's why I like it. It creates such an external locus of control. Like, these are random events in my life, and I'm really just a pawn in this game, which we may be, but it takes away any internal locus of control without these things just happen.
• 8:20
  Exactly. And they're outside of my control. And and I can't control any of that. And so it just is whatever. It could be your faith. It could be the universe. It could be people. That's, that's the way we kind of look at love. Yeah. That is random. It's I can't control it. I can't influence it.
• 8:42
  And even once that happens, any there is proof and affirmation that I'm a lucky person. Or it's proof or affirmation that I'm unlucky.
• 8:50
  So what we really want to do is reframe that and give you a bit more of an internal locus of control, where luck is not just chance, rather it's influenced by your behavior and Richard Wiseman is kind of a big researcher in the area of luck.
• 9:04
  I did a lot of research in the early 2000s on the topic of luck,
• 9:08
  and studied lucky versus unlucky people, found that there were some behavioral differences between individuals who identify as lucky versus unlucky. And some of those differences were that lucky people noticed more opportunities in their lives. They, they are able to see opportunities for growth or opportunities for change, and then they act on that.
• 9:33
  So they act on the opportunities that present themselves. They stay open minded to, you know, growth and change and then reframe setbacks. So that's kind of the the four key behavioral differences they found from lucky and unlucky individuals. Self-identified lucky versus unlucky. Yes. Okay. Self-identified perceptions of luck. Yeah yeah yeah. So good. So good. When I think about that is you're going to find what you're looking for.
• 10:00
  Exactly. And then your brain is kind of wired to either hunt the good or hunt the bad. And again, your brain is always looking for information to support your belief about yourself and about the world that you're in does and the labels that we place upon ourselves. That's so many limits to growth and opportunities. And, and it's really the foundation of what we do.
• 10:21
  Okay. How do we look at ourself? How do we look at the world? How do you look at, you know, the people that have accomplish great things in life faced the same set of challenges that most of us have faced. That's what I think is so encouraging about our work. Yeah, but they had a different lens. They saw what other people would think is failure.
• 10:42
  Or is inherent challenges or two greater risk they see is opportunities. Yeah. And that kicks into motion a certain set of thoughts and actions and behaviors of how can I solve the problem versus a neatly that defense mechanism. There's no way, you know, it's, it's likely to not accomplish it's likely to be unlucky. Never. We start using those extreme words at such a limit on our growth.
• 11:11
  Yeah. I couldn't have said it better myself. It really is what you think and and believe is and what you open yourself up to. Opportunities with and or lack of opportunities was,
• 11:22
  there was an experiment that Wiseman actually did with a newspaper article where, he had participants, they gave them a newspaper and said, hey, I want you to count how many photos are throughout this newspaper.
• 11:37
  But there was writing and pretty large text in the middle of the newspaper saying, stop counting. There are 43 photos and people who dean themselves as lucky found it. People who identified as unlucky never saw the writing. I mean, let's talk about how our brains are wired here. I mean, attentional control, attentional focus, like you're told to count the photos.
• 12:03
  You're not open to doing anything else. You're focused on counting those photos. It tells you right here, hey, stop. Here's how many there are. You know, I think that is such a good example. There are a lot of personality traits that drive that. Yeah, but you would imagine the people that we think are risk averse. Are black and white are follow the rules.
• 12:25
  Yeah. Don't think outside the box. Like here's what I was told to do and I'm going to do it. Yeah. That's a certain type of lens that sometimes may lend itself to a little bit of negativity and a little bit of frustration, versus the, the ones that don't pay attention to the details. You can look for the gray areas or look for opportunities or see the world differently.
• 12:46
  Yeah. You're just open to new experiences. And, you know, we're kind of the perfect people to be talking about this because I think back to our traits and your very low conformity kind of yeah, big picture, open minded individual. And I'm very high conformity. So I feel like this is sometimes an area where if I'm given directions and told to do something, I'm really locked in on that.
• 13:08
  And I do tend to overlook things that could maybe make it an easier pathway or more efficient, because I'm I'm doing what I was told. That's been a learning moment for me. It's like, okay, open yourself up. Don't get so rigid in your approach. Yeah, yeah, probably what I had that I was across the deep. Yeah. And following the rules a little bit more.
• 13:27
  But I think that's an I, I didn't know that study until you share it. Yeah. But it is so fascinating that I think sometimes and we're all victim of it. Like, we all get busy and get focused on, what we have to do, and we forget to see the big picture. Yeah, we forget to notice a little things around us.
• 13:46
  Yeah. That is. Yeah, that's a great story.
• 13:50
  so what does that study mean a little bit for our own life, Gabby, and how we start looking at opportunities?
• 13:57
  Well, when we are very rigid, we view things from a lens of over fixation. Right. And this is, just that tunnel vision. And we're blind to the cues around us to maybe some of the opportunities showing up around us.
• 14:14
  And this can be present in and sport and business and leadership where, we just start to miss cues.
• 14:20
  We miss those momentum shifts where we talk about the, the life cycle and we talk about mindset. Right. And that moment where you're at your peak, and then there's a slight momentum shift downward and being able to catch it is so important for growth. That's where we make a change, right. And continue growing. But oftentimes like when we are so, fixated on just doing things the way that we're told to do, then we miss those momentum shifts and we start to rapidly decline.
• 14:53
  Yeah. So there's such a challenge here. Getting lost in the process. Yeah, right. We preach that all the time, that success and happiness find me because I'm too busy to be looking for. Yeah, but what you're talking about is in that process, I'm so fixated on having to do at a certain way. Yeah. Or the A plus b plus C equals D.
• 15:14
  Yeah. Or the cost of doing what I do becomes transactional in my life. The, the proverb that I love as you think. So you are is also interpreted do not go with this kind of person because are always worried about the cost. Yeah.
• 15:27
  They miss the, the, the the value of the meal.
• 15:31
  Yeah. And I think that's what you're saying. Yeah. So there's absolutely no getting lost in the process. Yeah. But how you get lost in the process. What are you focused on. But what you're talking about is I'm so lost in the process. It has to be a certain way. Right. And we do that to just think about how we do that to children.
• 15:49
  That at age 18 you're supposed to have like figure it out at 20 career. Just to have it all put together. Yeah. That you should be a certain way. You should act a certain way. You should that that the expectations of here's how my life should look. I forget the experience, the journey. And so when it doesn't go in accordance to that then you start to think, okay, well I'm just unlucky in life because everybody's told me if you do these things.
• 16:14
  Yeah. Like if you only if you, if you follow these steps. Yeah. If you follow this path. Yeah. It must be something about me. Yeah. Why I get so frustrated and I get on my pulpit all the time, and I'm, telling young people that college is the best time of your life. Well, when you go to college and you struggle, then it's not a big struggle for me.
• 16:33
  And you're thinking, well, it's supposed to be the best time of my life. Yeah. Then what have I got to look forward to. Right. That it must be something about me. Yeah. Or how we define success is achieving a goal. And I'm not achieving the goal. Then I must be a failure. It must be something about me. Yeah.
• 16:49
  And so you create that narrative. Yeah. And in your mind. And if you tell yourself something long enough, you're going to believe it.
• 16:56
  So yeah, I think on that note for our listeners, something to start thinking about is, is where are you so locked in that you're missing opportunities that you are over fixating and, and not, experiencing a degree of openness?
• 17:11
  Yeah, I think that's the mindset. Are you just so locked in and blind to what is. Around you. Yeah. Blind to the joy where you let the challenges of the work, the challenges of the sport, the challenges of family, the challenges of raising children to take away the joy in the journey.
• 17:28
  So let's, let's now talk about how this all leads into the preparation piece.
• 17:34
  Like how then if we are keeping an open mind, what else can we be doing to perceive ourselves as lucky? Yeah. What was the great Thomas Jefferson quote that I'm a firm believer in love. The harder our work, the luckier I get. Yes. And so to me, if we know that we do not have a high level of self-awareness, that we take for granted the very things that I have done that I've put in that place, that I've put into action to try to create these opportunities.
• 18:03
  They're trying to create this quote unquote, lucky experience. Yeah. And I think that's one that's a seemingly random that these things are happening to me. And some like, they're out of my control, the good or the bad. Yeah. In my life. And I think that's how we're trying to look at that. We're missing out on the variables that help create the.
• 18:25
  Yeah, right. And and I always go back to the, the notion of, oh, well, I just got really lucky or it was a lucky break. Like I, you know, that view is very much centered and like you are just a product of circumstance. But that's typically not the case because an opportunity can present itself. But if you're not prepared for that, you'll squander that opportunity.
• 18:51
  And we see it all the time in sports. We see it when we have our starting quarterback, and then there's an injury and in the game and your backup quarterback has to go in. You know, if he has been preparing for that moment, then it is going to be his lucky break. But I think calling it a lucky break negates all of the work and preparation that went into that.
• 19:18
  And I think and you know, you see the I think about in the music industry, yeah. But that you see an overnight sensation. Yeah. You know, they're just an overnight. Yeah. Well, you get to know their story. It's not overnight. Person has been grinding forever out there. Yeah. We've talked about Alex Honnold plan. El Capitan in climbing the top 101 which is absolutely crazy but but he spent 12 years.
• 19:45
  Yeah. Preparing for that one moment. Yeah. And and his interpretation. Was a dream delayed is not a dream tonight. That he never stopped dreaming but all his life had prepared him for those moments. Even the way he was raised. Yeah. And I think that's the mindset that, that we want to create that luck. I would say that luck is what preparation meets opportunity.
• 20:08
  Well we say this a lot in trauma. It's hard to prepare for what you can't predict. Yeah. And so think about a year in terms of the quarterback who's never thinking he's going to get a chance the backup quarterback. Or if your life has become such a negative way that you think you're just unlucky, then you're going to not be prepared.
• 20:25
  Yeah. When the door opens.
• 20:26
  what we're trying to, to get across here is that in order to achieve this, this lucky break, you need to be deliberate with your practice. And, Erickson. Anders Erickson. Great research on deliberate practice like it takes. This is where that, 10,000 hours of,
• 20:46
  practice to become an expert in any given, domain.
• 20:50
  Right. And being intentional with whatever the vision is for your life. And if you haven't listened to the episodes on vision, go back and give those a listen. But making sure that you are working day in and day out, having a process for preparing for your make it or break it moment.
• 21:09
  when you're unprepared and an opportunity presents itself, it's going to feel chaotic.
• 21:14
  You're going to feel kind of out of control. That external locus of control where you just feel swept up. You're going to shy away from it. You know, shy away from it in that chaos. Yeah.
• 21:24
  And then
• 21:24
  you're going to make an excuse. Well, I'm just unlucky. Yeah, exactly. So it's your escape. It's your scapegoat, right? The flip of that is
• 21:32
  when you are prepared, you know that that moment of momentum, shift of opportunity.
• 21:38
  Like, it's just that it's an opportunity and you're excited about it. You're prepared for it, and you're ready to face it head on, and create that lucky break.
• 21:47
  So, I think that that's where we, we really want to highlight. It's not only is it your mindset, but it's the preparation you're putting in. Yeah. Yeah. And so good in terms of okay, can that's personal feeling like there's things I can do.
• 22:02
  Yeah. To be prepared for those opportunities.
• 22:04
  So, you know, I just mentioned that we're we're looking at both the, the mindset but also the preparation. But I want to hone in on the mindset piece here for a moment because, you know we are big promoters of of growth mindset.
• 22:17
  But let's talk about what the mindset of a lucky people are. And now I'll let you take this away here. But you know, talk to us a little bit about what makes up a lucky person's mindset. Yeah. So so to me, if we think about like, quote unquote lucky people, and I think positive psychology is influenced as well, is, is that outlook on life, that, how they define success?
• 22:44
  Are they hunting the good or the bad? They have a dose of humility. Are they able to practice gratitude and be like you said, I love what you said earlier of can I get the the experience? Can I catch the meaning in the journey? Can I can I move beyond success and failure in a way that allows me to understand that who I am becoming is more important than what I am accomplishing?
• 23:04
  Yeah, I can. I maintain that big perspective, right? That I'm never too high. Never too low. To me, that's that's the mindset of somebody who is optimistic, who is prepared, who is positive, who believes that they have what it takes, believes there's good things in this world. And Robert Evans talks about gratitude, believes that these things can come their way.
• 23:25
  Yeah. To me, that's maybe how would some of the mindset of a lucky person.
• 23:31
  I think it's makes complete sense to me and that it is this combination of persistence, but also intentional effort of of creating opportunities in your mind or this openness that you're speaking about, but also the humility to say, hey, yeah, this didn't work, and it doesn't mean I'm a failure, but it means I need to make a change.
• 23:57
  You know, I think that language is so good because it's so quick to label ourselves or other people when we experience a quote unquote failure. That that it becomes part of our identity instead of just feedback. You know I think lucky people are able to separate who they are from what they do a little bit. Yeah. And be mindful and aware of, as you just said objectively.
• 24:17
  Hey. What really what really happened to you. Yeah. In a good or bad way, it's it's not only about I'm. I'm reframing positive love about what really happened here. Yeah. How did this really happen? What did I learn along the way? What? What could I have done differently? What did I do to influence. Like, what was the variables that were present?
• 24:36
  When that opportunity presented itself. Yeah. I think that sometimes what we take for granted and we. All right. Like that's what we overlook in terms of creating your own luck. Absolutely. And I go back to kind of the, the narratives we create in our minds for our lives. And yeah, I can think back to a point in my life where this came to life, which is when I was, third grade, I went to fourth grade and then was terrible at math.
• 25:07
  So bad that they decided to move me back to third grade. And at that point, I could have been like, well, I'm just not. I'm not smart or I'm not ever going to be good at math.
• 25:20
  Which is why I'm just. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just not. I'm just never going to be good at this. And then, you know, it's it.
• 25:29
  I luckily had a great mom who coached me through this and she, you know, really helped me kind of grow through adversity, cognitively reappraise it. And the next year, I think I've spoken about this before. The next year I go back to fourth grade. I'm on the math team. So it's it's all about reappraisal. It's all about, you know, changing that narrative in your mind.
• 25:52
  And yeah, if I had gone through life to telling myself, well, I'm never going to be good at math, I probably would have continued to fail. Thank you. Here. No doubt if you hear that line which is these extreme words, and then. Yeah, always. And then the over generalization instead of I'm just not very good at math right now at this time.
• 26:09
  Like I think about the growth I hadn't figured out. Yeah. Yeah. It's so easy to say I'm just not good at this. Yeah. Or an over generalization. I'm just not smart. Yeah. And that was the messaging to me was, hey, you just weren't ready to advance yet. And you know, I was I'm August birthday, so I was young.
• 26:27
  I started, you know, early and so then restarting back like now I was the oldest in my grade but I was ready cognitively for it. And that was the storyline that was told to me. So I think thinking about how we can then interpret adversity differently in our lives. Yeah. Interpret success and failure. So yeah, this is it's also important because on one hand we're talking about external control versus internal control.
• 26:54
  I'm talking about lucky versus unlucky. Yeah. To me what is in my mind right now is understand interesting. Humility hubris. Because lucky people if you aren't careful can be will look what I've created. Oh yeah. Look what I've done. And look at how great I am. And they not only minimize the effort and the work. What of Michelangelo.
• 27:18
  Say if you knew how long it took to become an expert you really wouldn't be that impressed. Yeah. You know how many hours it took. And so sometimes the interpretation if you, if you find yourself being more likely than not, you got to be really careful that the hubris doesn't creep in and that you start saying, well, this is like, I'm just special and look what I've done and look what I deserve.
• 27:38
  Yeah. And we take for granted that, hey, there's blessings in your life that have happened that you've had more privilege. You've had more opportunity. You've had a different upbringing, whatever that may be. And and you've had more people pour into you and believe you. And so, especially in America, it's easy to discount some of the inherent privileges and abilities that come your way.
• 27:58
  And think, you've done this by yourself. Oh, absolutely. I'm. You're a self-made man. That is such a lie. Yeah. Or woman. And so you got to really be careful that it doesn't quickly turn into hubris. We are talking about that. We're talking about just a different outlook that you think that the things that can happen the and then the humility of that is sometimes especially you kind of self-deprecating.
• 28:22
  Yeah. You kind of minimize your own. Like why? I'm just lucky. Yeah. Like, I don't deserve. Oh, yeah. And you deflect any, any, any contribution you've made to help create that. And so I think there's tension there that we can feel that keep us from looking at ourselves in a very meaningful way. Yeah. That we discount sometimes on only the effort we put in.
• 28:48
  But we also discount the opportunity of divine intervention. Or other people's contributions in our life or other people paving away or however other people. And so there's that fine line that we're interpreting success and failure. Yeah. That you have to really be mindful I think of that interpretation.
• 29:05
  Yeah. It's, hearing you say that, I think that it's something will that will resonate with a lot of people in that whether it's you get a, job promotion or you get a new job or you're starting a family, you know, you find a great partner, like all of these things that you could be so quick to say, I.
• 29:25
  I'm so lucky in this credit, maybe all the work it took to get to that point. But then there's the flip of that as well, where you're just you know, only recognizing that, hey, look what I look, what I've done, right? Yeah. So it's it's gotta find that that happy medium there. Yeah. And so it's again are you are the reasons for your success things within your control.
• 29:48
  Yeah. Or out of your control. And that's why gratitude is so important. Yeah. In terms of being grateful for not only who you are, but grateful for the good and the bad in your life. Grateful for the people in your life. Grateful for, the opportunities. That's that's what you're really talking about. Yeah. And and that's how we create more luck in our lives, right?
• 30:09
  Exactly what you're talking about. Practices of gratitude, mindfulness. But just experiencing the world around us in a positive light like that is how you create luck and far away. The great way is like, if I want to be more lucky. Yeah, I want to be more lucky. So what are some things that our listeners can do? Yeah.
• 30:29
  To to find ourselves. Being more lucky. Yeah. Well, I think train your inner, you know. Yeah. Don't just wear green and expect to be lucky. No, I think your training, your attention to be focused on things like mindfulness, gratitude, the positives in your life like that is, a key area in which you can, can, I guess, create more luck in your life or create the opportunities for a lock to show up.
• 31:01
  And then taking risk. So opening yourself up to trying new things, finding new pathways that, you know, if you know, you thought life was going to go Abcde, maybe it goes a c b d, you know, maybe it's a little out of order for you. And being open to that, and finding new pathways. I think that's so good because especially the older we get, not only the, the like, the less we dream, but we just kind of get, we just kind of settle for life.
• 31:33
  We kind of say, okay, well this is this is my life and this is how it's going to go. And it's always been like this and it's never going to change or you're in a relationship or thing and that person is never going to change. And you're getting your power and your experience to other people. Absolutely.
• 31:48
  And so to me I love you know Gabby you said something earlier that resonated with me. I believe the story you tell yourself about your life really becomes your life. And so this is a great opportunity for you to reflect back not you, but our lesson to reclaim you as well. Yeah. Me as well as we've done the day to look back and, and you've taken me back through childhood.
• 32:12
  Taken me back through and some what I would call successes and what I would call or the world would maybe call failures. That are easy to see as failures. But, but, but I would challenge our listeners to kind of go back to your own life. And what are the lessons you learned as you said in third grade math.
• 32:32
  Yeah. Or fourth grade math. That and we default differently. That that you know if you would have believed I'm really not smart but you probably wouldn't be sitting here today. Right. And, and how do you go back in those pivotal moments in your life and challenge those lies that maybe you've created, maybe have perpetuated and even if some of those things are true, like in my life, I'm not good at math.
• 32:55
  Yeah. Even if they're true, how is that kind of way? Thinking and helping you grow? Exactly how is it helping you find more luck and find more opportunities? That's that's a great way to kind of look at the times in your life. Yeah. That, that you have been lucky or happy in that piece.
• 33:14
  I think something we can't leave out here as well.
• 33:16
  And when it comes to creating more luck is, is building your your network, your relationships. And we talk about how important that component of relatedness is and, and people's lives, that connectedness. And when you surround yourself with individuals who are open to opportunities and, you know, very much operating from a growth mindset that's going to translate to you as well.
• 33:42
  Doors open for you as well. And I think thinking about your social circles, thinking about your network, how do you create one that benefits you and and helps you create more luck in your life? Yeah. And that means you got to take a serious look at your own life. Yeah. Contribution to the conversations and mindset of the people you're with.
• 34:02
  Absolutely. You become. And and if you find yourself negative and discouraged and overwhelmed with stress and anxiety, my guess is you're probably inviting people in your life that think that way. Yeah. Are hunting the bad instead of the good. And there's a lot of things in this world right now that kind of that's not going well.
• 34:22
  And it doesn't mean we can ignore those, doesn't mean we can lie to ourselves and say everything is great. But how is that kind of way. I've got to tell. Is that kind of thinking helping you. Yeah. And I think one of the great parts of our job is we get to interact with so many people from so many different cultures and so many different experiences.
• 34:42
  I get to talk to with the gentleman this morning who was a geologist, exploration geologist. Wow. And they're told me that there's gold in South Carolina near Charlotte and Columbia in the 1820 gold rush. Never, ever would have known that. And it was so fascinating to hear his story of how he. Yeah, where he is, and what he's doing now.
• 35:04
  And I think those are the moments where it's so much fun to hear other people's stories and be encouraged by their stories. Yeah. And so I love expanding your network because one thing's about being on a college campus. Yeah. That there's so much energy and so much hope and so much optimism that that there's significant levels of anxiety and depression and all these other factors.
• 35:24
  But I think that's such an important be. So are you going around? Oh, yeah. And what is their outlook on life.
• 35:30
  Well you know hopefully we've given our, our listeners some actionable tools they can use to create more luck in their life to kind of start shifting their perceptions around luck and creating opportunities. Milt, is there anything else you want to leave the listeners with today?
• 35:46
  Kind of a final thought. Like I'm like, sure, it applies to like that. Well, I'm lucky to be here. The idea you came up about talking about, like, I never would have even even thought about that. So.
• 35:56
  I do have to give credit where credit is due. I was talking with Colton yesterday, and I was like, man, I'm trying to think of new podcast ideas.
• 36:03
  He's like, well, it's going to be Saint Patrick's Day. Maybe you guys should talk about luck. And I was like, oh, that's genius. So yeah. Yeah. Yeah. People that don't know. And so I think that's that to me is the overarching theme of, you know, what? Are we missing out? Yeah. That, that even even when I think about parenting.
• 36:23
  Yeah. The creativity, the challenge, the joy, the struggles. It's easy to kind of kind of limit ourselves by how we think about the people in front of us, the opportunities in front of us. And it's so easy to fall into this comparison trap. Yeah. And we can do that 1 or 2 ways we can do in ways that we think people have it better than us, or we can do it in ways that we think people have it worse.
• 36:49
  And and we take credit for things. Maybe the plans we shouldn't. Yeah. And but we also dismiss, as I said earlier, the effort that we put forth. Absolutely. I love your challenging questions to look back how we started, how you when have you been lucky in your life? When have you been unlucky? How can you maybe have a change in mindset which leads to a change of perspective, which leads to a change in the way you're going to act and think and look for those opportunities?
• 37:14
  Because my guess is most of us are missing out.
• 37:17
  Spot on. I thank you for your insights today. And it's then, I think, a great conversation around luck and and hopefully our listeners can start shifting their perspective a little bit and trying to I think the easiest starting point is, like you said, thinking back on moments where you were lucky versus unlucky in life.
• 37:35
  And how were you thinking in those moments? What what thoughts were you having and start there? And that's how you reframe. Yeah. And and and what what are some things you can do right now that are you just still waiting around for these random events to show up? Are you trying to create it and and you can't do it by yourself.
• 37:54
  Yeah. Who are you trying to create it with? And so I love the conversation. I hope our listeners are encouraged by it. If you are, please always get the language or like us or follow us or whatever. Subscribe to it. Yeah, it's I don't I don't know if we even have a subscription. Yeah. Like, follow, subscribe, leave a leave a review if you can.
• 38:14
  It was great. We're just trying to be relevant and interested and encouraging to you and trying to help you be better and pursue better. If you have any questions. Have any podcast ideas? I'll send them our way. Please share those with us. So until then, continue to pursue the things in life, that make you better.
• 38:32
  And the people that help you be better.