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You Can Ask For Help And Still Be Strong · Divas That Care Network

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's Divas the Care Radio.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: Stories, strategies, and ideas to inspire positive change.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Divas that Care, a network of women committed to making our world a better place for everyone.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: This is a global movement for women by women engaged in a collaborative effort to create a better world for future generations.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: To find out more about the movement, visit divas that care.com after the show.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: Right now, though, stay tuned for another jolt of inspiration.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the Divas That Care.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: My name is Candace Gish.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: If this is your very first time tuning in, a huge welcome.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: We've been doing the Divas That Care now for 16 years.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: We're listening to in over 34 countries around the world, and it is all because of our our amazing tribe, our guests, our hosts, everybody that's been a part of us, and we're so grateful to be continuing to do this today.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: I am very excited.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: We're going to be introducing a brand new diva, an honorary diva to our family.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: His name is Brendan Kelly, and we're very excited that he's going to be part of our miniseries, Victory Over Fear.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: This powerful series explores what it truly means to move forward despite uncertainty, self-doubt, and life's challenges.
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  SPEAKER_01: Through authentic conversations, personal stories, and practical wisdom, we uncover how courage is built one step at a time.
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  SPEAKER_01: Fear may be loud, but it doesn't have to have the final say.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: So welcome to the Diva Zat Care, Brendan.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for having me.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_02: It's great to be here.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: I'm excited to be chatting with you today.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: Brandon, would you mind introducing yourself to our amazing listeners today?
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I'll give a quick background, a little bit about me.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_02: Uh of course, I'm Brendan T.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_02: Kelly, and as far as my background goes, uh boy, it's always strange to start because I feel like there's so much.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_02: But you know, I'll I'll skip the part of adolescence and jump into.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_02: I served in the army for 22 years, retired, then taught high school, worked in higher education, now out here in California doing some work with the state, mostly writing, a father of three amazing daughters that are growing up and doing big, beautiful things.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_02: And me and my amazing wife, who's stuck with me for going on 34 years, are just enjoying life now.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love that.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_01: Well, welcome.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: I'm excited because I'm a mother of four daughters, and it's always amazing to meet another parent that's just got girls.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I know what you mean.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_01: So tell me, why did you decide to write a book?
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_02: Well, you know, it started with just getting thoughts on paper.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_02: You know, after my military days and a few years after, I was in a transitional part in my life, and I was working through some mental health issues, some things that I wasn't ready or vulnerable enough to admit out loud.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_02: So I was just taking notes on paper to get thoughts out.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_02: Then when I went through my struggle with mental health and PTSD and got in a good recovery program and finally admitted to myself that I needed some real help.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_02: I couldn't do it on my own.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_02: I continued my writing, and really years later, I was looking at all of my notes and writings, and I felt that I had something to share.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_02: That, you know, it was a story that could be relatable, not only to veterans, but you know, everyday people that just go through those challenges in life and those dark moments, and to let them know that you know there is light.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_02: It may take a while to get to the end of that tunnel, but if you make a commitment to you know make progress each day, we can get there.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_02: And so my book came to life, and I was very fortunate to find a publisher, absolute love publishing, that was on board with it, and here we are now.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: I love that, and I really love this the title of it, The Echo of Silence.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that was a that was well, go ahead.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_02: I was gonna say, you know, that title, my publisher and I, we went back and forth sharing ideals and brainstorming, and you know, she brought this to my attention and you know was talking about relevant parts in the book where I speak about the silence after certain events.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_02: And when I read it out loud to myself, I I was just mind-blown.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, that's it, that is it.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: Perfect.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: So let's talk a bit a little bit about the book more.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: What is the book about?
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_01: You're obviously it's about uh the journey, but let's chat a little bit more further into that.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_02: Well well, the book, it's a novel, and I wanted to make it a novel because I'm including some other information and stories of you know, friends that I have and real life situations that I've seen.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_02: But the story is based on a lot of my life activities, and it follows the main character, Jack Mercer.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_02: And he's a veteran, it's you know the post-military days, and he he's at this stage where you know he's he's been going through the battles of PTSD and mental health, and he's just trying to now put all the pieces together, and it follows that journey as well as some health concerns he has, where he's looking for a place to basically call home.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_02: And for anybody that has read or reads the book, you know, we learn that home isn't just that tangible place you can touch where you can sit day after day, it's the family, it's the loved ones, it's all of it coming together to make you feel comfortable.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_02: So, and I touch on some fun, lighthearted moments within the book, too.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_02: You know, there's a fair amount in there about our dog Claire, and she has her own little chapter, too.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: I love that, and this book is available right now to purchase, correct?
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, it is, it is available anywhere you can buy books.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_02: You can go in there and say, I would love to purchase or order The Echo of Silence by Brendan T.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_02: Kelly, and they'll get it for you.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's wonderful.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and this month with victory over fear, I think that this book really resonates within that whole topic.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we're really about healing and faith and resilience, um, overcoming barriers.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_01: So, how do you feel like your book is going to attribute to this?
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_02: It makes a beautiful connection in in the realm because you know being human can be tough at times.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_02: You know, we we think of all the the animal species here on this beautiful planet of ours, and humans have the crazy ability to have their minds go out of control if we don't keep them in control.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_02: And with this in the story, Jack Mercer and myself in real life had to face our fears, and sometimes it's the fear of the unknown, the fear of I don't know what to do next, the fear of saying something out loud and think you might, you know, be tagged as having issues.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_02: And in reality, it does not matter what anyone else thinks.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_02: If you're able to come out in this case, I had to admit I was dealing with some mental health issues, PTSD, anxiety, and depression.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_02: And I had to be vulnerable enough, as I mentioned earlier, to admit it to my family, my friends, to you know, doctors that were unknown and asked for help.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_02: So it's overcoming those fears and facing them and just kind of having that faith and belief and those around you that truly love you, that you can get through it.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_02: You can fight this battle and win.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: I love that, and thank you very much because in and itself that's very inspirational.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_01: I think that there are a lot of people out there that have PTSD and mental health issues, and they're very scared because they're so they're concerned about what others are gonna think about them and how it's going to change people's perception of who they are.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I think having books like this out there, and it is a fictional book, but it is based on real person in a lot of ways, and a lot of people.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: So you're taking that, and I think people are gonna relate to that kind of aspect of it.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely, and that's my hopes, and that's why I added some more stories and different perspectives to it, because I felt it wasn't just my story that, as you mentioned, there are a lot of people dealing with mental health, post-traumatic stress disorders, anxiety, and they don't know how to approach it, to deal with it, to ask for help.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_01: And this book, too.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: It I think it's going to both genres in a lot of ways.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_01: It's gonna help with you know, men, it's gonna help with women, it's gonna help with people not just in like the army, but in people in perhaps in the police force, people in the fire, people in the medics.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_01: You know, there's so many different areas where people have, you know, over time had or have become like they've had the PTSD now.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_01: And and that's what I really like about it.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_01: I really respond, I have I know a lot of individuals that do have PTSD that have been struggling with it for years.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm very I wouldn't say maybe excited, but very inspired to give a book like yours to them so that they could read this and to show them that they're not by themselves, they're not alone, and maybe be inspired.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_02: You really said something that's so important to me, and it's that you're not alone.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_02: You know, though we may have gone through a particular situation and we have our own perspectives, and it's unique to us, but there's a community out there that has been through some bad things and they're overcoming them, and they can be support for you.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_02: Not to say I fully understand, yes, but to listen and respect what you're saying and give you an opportunity to get it out.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_02: Because when I was finally able to just get it off my chest and get it out, I know it sounds cliche, but I truly felt lighter.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_02: I felt like I had been keeping this secret for decades, and it had no reason to be a secret.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_02: And then, you know, my beautiful wife of 34, almost 34 years, could fully understand my brother, my sister, my our children, you know, they were then given an opportunity to help me.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_02: And I mean, that's love right there.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, it is.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, this is wonderful.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for for writing this book.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, can I ask you, are you gonna be doing some more writing?
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_01: Are you gonna be having another book come out anytime soon?
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, yes, I'm actually in the process of I've written my second book, and I'm in the process of kind of triple checking it right now as the editing process goes before I turn it over to anybody.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm fine-tuning that, and then I've started another book that I'm getting notes on paper and character ideas, so so this is something the writing bug, I guess you could say, is something that I want to continue with and until my fingers can no longer type and my brain can't think of new ideas.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_01: I love this.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_01: I truly believe everybody has a story in them, and everybody can share that.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_01: They have so many ideas and so creative, and it's it's just an honor just to be able to talk to you to talk with you today.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_01: Um, Brendan, are you you say you're living in California and you're working there?
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, so how are you able to balance all this?
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_02: I think a lot I think my ability to balance and manage time, I thank the military because during my career I wore multiple hats.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_02: And then not counting the fact of being a husband, being a father of three daughters, you know, when I would come home, I had to put on a different hat.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_02: So managing this, it doesn't feel out of place or awkward because I'm able to do my work, enjoy my life with my wife and our family, but I make sure I set aside time for myself, and that's my writing time.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_02: That's time to get ideas on paper, or in this case, the laptop, and to reread items I've written to make sure they're saying what I want them to say, do those, do the editing.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_02: So I just make time, I plan for what I need to do and what I want to do.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_01: That's perfect.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I had a mentor over the years, and she always told me to split my day up into 15-minute increments.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_01: So I've always had that thing that if I had to multitask, I'd have 15 minutes to do, you know, the laundry or 15 minutes to, you know, do something in my house, and then I would work on this.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_01: But I always planned it.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I love that you're doing that.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_01: And it's funny because she grew up in a military family.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_01: And and I truly believe that she must have really um internalized that and structured her data so that she was always doing that.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_01: And to this day, um, that mentor of mine is very much like that.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_01: And it sounds like she's very similar to you, where you're able to really plan things out.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, for me, it is a little bit of a comfort because I like to know what's ahead.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_02: If there is something I truly want to do, I want to plan it to make sure things don't get in the way of that.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_02: Because we have to have our priorities in life, whether this hour is the priority for work or this hour is the priority for shutting off and just sitting on the porch with my wife, whatever it might be, you know, establish that routine.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_02: And when you're in a rhythm, it becomes fairly simple.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_01: Does, doesn't it?
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_01: So, one of the things I always ask our amazing guests is do they have any tips or tools, things that our listeners can, you know, kind of take home with them after our podcast?
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_02: Well, my my biggest thing when when I speak with people, and I've been very fortunate to speak with a handful of people, you know, about this book and and about my life.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_02: And I've been asked similar questions, and you know, the biggest tip I have for anyone is really to take time to do your own personal or professional development.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_02: You know, don't wait for someone to drag you to a class or tell you to go to a class or recommend.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_02: Make a list, get it on paper, make it something tangible that you can see, and then check it off little by little.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_02: You don't have to set timelines, but give yourself those goals because as humans, it is kind of built within us to have a purpose, and when we have a purpose, there's direction and there's motivation behind it to achieve it so we can you know feel that bliss, not with just ourselves, but with others.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_02: So that's kind of my two cents.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: Honestly, that's absolutely perfect.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_01: I really love that.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_02: My pleasure.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_01: So please share with us all of your social media.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I have my own website, it is triple dubbrendon tkelly.com.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_02: You can find me there as well as where I'll be next and updates and opportunities to check out my book and things I'm working on.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_02: I'm also on Instagram at the underscore author underscore Brendan.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_02: Same thing on Facebook.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_02: So those are the two places I'm at.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_01: Perfect.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_01: Well, thank you so much for taking the time to chat with me today.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_01: I really had a great time.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_01: And honestly, I hope that you'll come back on one of our mini-series in the future.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_02: I would love to, and I appreciate the opportunity to be on here with you and to share a little bit of what's going on in my brain and to have a discussion with you.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_02: And I would love to.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_02: All you got to do is reach out.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_01: I would love that.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I can't wait, honestly, to you know, chat with you about your upcoming book too in the future.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I'll I'll keep you abreast of how those that turns out.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_01: And to all of our amazing listeners, thank you so much for tuning in to Victory Over Fear.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we're so excited.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_01: This podcast, you know, is all about discovering how healing, faith, and resilience and action can help us overcome the barriers that keep us stuck.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we're so excited that we had the opportunity to talk with this amazing author.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna be sharing, Brendan's all of his social media so that you can just click on it and you can also share it with your friends and family.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_01: There's a lot of our listeners around the world that I think would be inspired by this amazing book.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_01: So make sure that you check it out.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_01: Make sure that you also do something kind today.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_01: Until next time, everyone.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for listening.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: This show was brought to you by Divas That Care.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: Connect with us on Facebook, on Instagram, and of course on divasletcare.com, where you can subscribe to our newsletter so you don't miss a thing.