Latest / The Christy-Faith Show / Ep. 53 - Homeschooling Is Harder Than You Thought? Let’s Fix That!

Transcript

Ep. 53 - Homeschooling Is Harder Than You Thought? Let’s Fix That! · The Christy-Faith Show

• 0:00
  Christy-Faith: One of the most common frustrations I hear from homeschooling moms across the country is this. Homeschooling isn't what you envisioned it would be. It's not playing out like you thought it would. Maybe you started this journey full of hope and inspiration, picturing those dreamy Instagram moments, Your kids working quietly around the table, bright smiles as they explore new subjects, a natural love of learning and motivation just springing out of them, your shelves filled with organized books, and you sipping your coffee peacefully soaking in the satisfaction of a day well spent. But now that you've started and are in the thick of it, well, it's more like utter chaos.
• 0:38
  Or maybe you're in the moment of, what did I get myself into? Perhaps you're not enjoying it like you thought you would. The toddler's melting down. The math book is missing. The science experiment exploded literally or figuratively, and someone, maybe even you, is on the verge of tears.
• 0:54
  Didn't see that coming. Or maybe you have teens and you're missing those banana bread making nature walk picnic homeschool days that you had when your kids were little. It's more common than you think to have your once clear goals feel like they've gone completely off track. The lessons you've planned feel impossible to get through. The house is in a constant state of disarray, and you're left questioning everything.
• 1:17
  Am I doing enough? Am I completely failing my kids? Could I really be messing them up? You're overwhelmed doubting yourself, doubting your abilities, and feeling so buried under the guilt it seems impossible to move forward. If this sounds familiar, you're not alone.
• 1:32
  This is a problem that every homeschool parent faces. And it's not you. It's how you've been trained to think about success. If any part of you related to what I just said, this episode is for you. We're gonna tackle that inner angst and that tinge of disappointment so you will walk away after today's episode feeling lighter, more confident, and armed with real tools to make homeschool feel less overwhelming and more like the meaningful adventure that you desire.
• 2:00
  Why? Because homeschooling doesn't have to be perfect to be meaningful. It's about finding what actually works for your family, ditching the pressure of impossible standards, and learning to see the beauty in the chaos. So how do you make that happen? Stick with me.
• 2:15
  We're gonna unpack some practical strategies and a few mindset adjustments that might just change the game for you. Grab your probably cold coffee, I'll get mine, settle in, and let's get after it. As a homeschool mom who values a family together approach and leans towards the classical and Charlotte Mason styles, I often educational vision to life with my kids' diverse ages and learning needs. With all our interests and super packed schedule, bridging that gap between the dreamy homeschool I want and reality, I gotta be honest. It's a challenge.
• 2:57
  Now, yes, I know perfection isn't the goal. But if you're listening and you could use a little easing of your mental load in your day to day, I found a resource that has become the quiet hero of our routine and it could be a really great option for you too. BJU Press homeschool curriculum. Now, many think that BJU Press homeschool is solely an all in one option, and though it does excel in that role, did you know you can also opt for specific courses and tailor them to fit your family's needs just as I have? BJU Press homeschool provides the perfect balance of structure and flexibility and easily complements my family's mixed age, family together, on the couch learning style.
• 3:33
  They are second to none in integrating a biblical worldview, stimulating critical thinking, and offering tons of hands on activities in the lessons. To find out how BJU Press Homeschool can come alongside you in your homeschooling goals, too, visit bjupresshomeschool.com or click the link in the show notes. Before we get into this episode, hi, I'm Christi Faith. If you like this video, make sure you subscribe and click that notification bell so you never miss a new episode. Okay.
• 4:00
  So let's start with how we all ended up here. I hate to break it to you, but we homeschool moms tend to get a little bamboozled in the beginning. You know what I'm talking about? That first glimpse into homeschooling? Those dreamy social media posts?
• 4:13
  The kids are out exploring nature, learning freely with sunshine streaming through the trees, reading books while sitting under shady oaks, maybe even frolicking, yes, frolicking in a beautiful meadow, looking like they stepped straight out of a children's storybook. It's all very convincing. And honestly, we all kinda buy into it, hook, line, and sinker. You were sold and so was I, a picture perfect package. It was cozy read alouds by the fire and a child happily working through their French workbook while Debussy plays in the background.
• 4:45
  However, when that beautiful package arrived on your doorstep, it exploded. And now you're here doom scrolling Instagram asking yourself, why doesn't my homeschool look like that? So here's my take. You've set your expectations and vision up based on a picture, not a process. A beautifully curated feed is, in fact, beautiful.
• 5:07
  However, it's also static. Real life is messy, moving, and an ever changing process, and the key isn't to make your homeschool look a certain way or have a certain aesthetic. It's about making it work in a way that fits your reality. And that's why I wanna go over practical shifts today that will help you flip that script. Personally, I think we all need to start with a simple perspective change.
• 5:30
  Progress is not picture perfect. This is an important mindset shift you need to make before even thinking about applying the practical tips that I'm about to give you in this episode. I want you to focus on embracing this process that is homeschooling. The small daily steps that you are taking are going to build momentum over time and help you reach the dream homeschool that you do envision for your life. Instead of logging on to social media and doubting yourself, you will go, Wow.
• 5:57
  I'm so glad that's working for them. And then you'll move on confident in what you are doing. Now, we've gotten that out of the way. It's time to discuss how you're going to build those small daily steps into that long term vision that you have. This is where Atomic Habits by James Clear comes into play.
• 6:15
  I know you've heard of it. It's sold only, like, tens of millions of copies. And I just did an episode on the five books that changed my parenting and homeschool game, and that book was on the list. I wanna use this book as a guide for our conversation today because homeschooling shouldn't leave you in a cycle of envy, burnout, or frustration. That's not healthy, nor is it helpful.
• 6:35
  Instead of rigid goals to get that picture perfect model, I want you to focus on small sustainable systems and shifts you can make that actually work for your real freaking life. So what do I mean by sustainable systems? Well, we'll get to that. But, Christy, I didn't set rigid goals. None of us do.
• 6:54
  But I will say they do sneak up on us. I'm guilty of this myself. Oof. They'll sneak up on you. Take math for example.
• 7:01
  You plan for your eight year old to complete one lesson per day so you can finish the curriculum by a certain date. And because you got that idea from a person who you saw on Instagram who does one lesson per day to meet their deadline. But then your child doesn't understand the concept, and instead of a quick twenty minute lesson, it drags on for forty five minutes. Now they're frustrated, you're frustrated, and suddenly tomorrow's math lesson feels like a battle just waiting to happen. Or maybe you set a firm 9AM start time for your core subjects.
• 7:30
  Sounds great in theory, but you also built an extensive morning routine. You know, the same one that productivity queen on TikTok utilizes that, surprise, takes you way longer than you expected? Now it's past 9AM, you haven't started, and just as you're about to get things going, your friend texts, wanna meet for a play date today? If you go, you'll fall behind. If you don't, you'll feel guilty because isn't flexibility supposed to be one of the perks of homeschooling?
• 7:55
  Yeah. It's overwhelming, and I'm guilty of it too. I'm speaking from experience here. However, I have learned some things along the way and I feel Clear explains it beautifully. He states in his book, quote, the purpose of setting goals is to win the game.
• 8:09
  The purpose of building systems is to continue playing the game. Now don't get me wrong. I think there are achievements and set goals that you do wanna have. I want my children to learn how to read. That is a real solid goal.
• 8:21
  I want my child to know their math facts. I use them daily in adulthood. That's important. That makes complete sense. However, my systems are moving me forward to my long term vision of having adult children who are capable and have good character.
• 8:35
  And dare I say that it's not going to be an aesthetically pleasing journey like the one that we sometimes get sold. You wouldn't plant seeds and expect the garden to be completely grown the very next day. It takes watering, sunlight, and consistent care. You wouldn't expect someone to go and build walls and a roof on the ground for a home without a solid foundation. Apply this way of thinking to homeschooling.
• 8:57
  Small and steady steps each day are what lead to the long term results that you're looking for. Field trips, sick day battles, pushback, lack of motivation, and unexpected interruptions and disruptions are just the name of the game, which is why what you do daily matters more than what you plan to achieve in the long term. I prefer thinking of the long term goal as more of a direction. I wanna go that way, but I know it's gonna take some time to get there, and I know it's not the end point. But, Christy, what does this even look like?
• 9:27
  You might be thinking to yourself, I'm in the trenches of homeschooling my eight year old, five year old, and I have a toddler running rampant. Or, Christy, I have a teen learning to drive, and I also need to talk to my preteen about hygiene because puberty is in full swing. Yeah. I get it. You have a lot going on.
• 9:42
  We all do. Honestly, homeschooling often feels like that game of whack a mole. That's a lot. There's no sugarcoating it. I'm going to suggest asking yourself some questions that are specific to your life and in turn will help you shape your vision with clarity.
• 9:57
  To kick this off, where are you at? I want you to evaluate your kids' ages. Are your children older and more independent, or could they be more independent? Do you have young kids? Your stage in life and the ages of your kids greatly changes what you need to be doing each day.
• 10:12
  For example, if you have an eight year old, a five year old, and a toddler, reading, writing, and arithmetic may be all that you can get to, and that's okay. Evaluate the stage of life you are in right now with grace. This also applies if you're pregnant, grieving a loved one, going through health issues yourself, etcetera. If you are in Thrive Homeschool Community, my online community, this is covered heavily in step seven of my homeschool success framework. What are your nonnegotiables?
• 10:38
  Are there things that no matter what always have to happen? Me, personally, I need to have a tidy house in order to even think. It doesn't have to be perfectly clean, but it does need to be tidy. Visual clutter is very overstimulating for me. So I have built time in my day and also my kids participate.
• 10:55
  My kids know that before lunch, the house gets picked up and the same before dinner. These types of nonnegotiables serve as anchors to my day. So what are yours? How are you gonna track your progress? This doesn't need to be a complicated system either.
• 11:07
  It might look like sitting down at the end of each week, reflecting on what went well and what didn't. Also, maybe have a place in your notebook, planner, or phone, etcetera, where you can jot down notes when you think of them. There's different things that'll make it work for you. Now to answer your question. What does it look like to focus on the daily instead of the overarching long term goal?
• 11:27
  Let's get into some practical tips, but first, a word from our sponsors. Before we continue, I wanna share with you a program that has been a game changer for our family. At our learning center, we instructed and helped kids through pretty much every program on the market. So we know firsthand just how important a solid math foundation is for our kids' futures. Finding the right homeschool math curriculum that didn't compromise academic excellence, but also didn't put me and my kids through the wringer was a challenge.
• 11:58
  Until one day, I found CTC math. You guys, the rest was history. First off, it's a mastery based program, which means your child gets a full grasp of the material. It's also loaded with mixed reviews, ensuring your kids don't forget anything they've learned. The questions are adaptive too, which keeps students confident and progressing at their own pace.
• 12:20
  But the best part, all the teaching, grading, and testing, done for you. With CTC math, there is no compromise on excellence. Your child gets a top notch education, and you just made your homeschool life easier. Visit CTC math to get your free trial today. Is your child struggling with attention, memory, reading, writing, or math?
• 12:42
  If you're experiencing this, you know how heart wrenching it is to watch them face these hurdles. You've poured love, time, and attention into their education, yet the struggle persists, leaving you feeling stuck and desperately searching for answers. You guys, I want you to know about LearningRx, a proven program designed to help your child's cognitive skills, enabling them to think faster, learn more easily, and perform at their best. I'm talking getting real long term help here with things like ADHD and dyslexia. LearningRx is backed by thirty five years of research, and their results are transformative.
• 13:15
  Use code home 50 for $50 off your cognitive skills assessment. Go to learningrx.com or click the link in the show notes. Okay. Tip number one. Shift from a lesson based homeschool to a time based one.
• 13:28
  What I mean is this. Instead of a lesson in math per day, which could easily take an hour and a half if your child doesn't understand the concept or take two seconds if something is just really simple for them. You could approach each subject as telling your kid, just give me your best for twenty minutes. Wherever you land at that twenty minute mark is where you are. Then we'll close the book and we'll pick it back up tomorrow.
• 13:51
  Why? Because if you're aiming for mastery on a topic, your child might need to spend a few days on it. You're not falling behind. You're adapting the curriculum to your child's needs while still moving forward and keeping the freedom that homeschooling offers. One of those greatest perks, remember?
• 14:06
  Now, tip number two, try out a loop schedule. A loop schedule is where you have the subjects in the order that you wanna do them, but you take the time you need on each subject and just stop when you need to stop. And then the next day, you simply pick up where you left off. I go in-depth on loop scheduling in my free how to homeschool guide. So if you haven't picked that up, do that now.
• 14:25
  I'll leave a link in the show notes. Grab it because I put examples in there that are super helpful. We also get super granular in Thrive Homeschool community on how to plan and schedule. I go over all the different types of schedules. We give you sample schedules, and also we help you in real time to hammer all of this out so we can figure out what works for your family.
• 14:44
  Tip three, plan in shorter chunks. Here's the thing. Planning a whole year of homeschooling can feel overwhelming, especially with so many moving parts. That's where shorter chunks come in. Instead of trying to map out every day from September through May, focus on smaller, manageable periods.
• 15:02
  For example, you could plan a month or even just a couple of weeks at a time. This allows you to stay flexible and make adjustments as needed, which is especially helpful when life throws you a curveball or when that particular subject takes longer than expected. Now it's still good to start your homeschooling year with a broad overview, and we do that during the summer, especially if you're in a high regulation state. You need to know answers to important questions like, does my state even require standardized tests, a portfolio, an annual evaluation, or maybe nothing at all? These details will help you figure out what type of structure you need.
• 15:35
  If you're scratching your head right now about where to start with all of this, don't panic. Inside Thrive Homeschool Community, we cover all of this in-depth. Whether it's learning your state laws or understanding how to prepare a portfolio, we're here to guide you step by step. Once you have your general framework, shorter chunks allow you to take it piece by piece. For instance, you could plan themes or units for the first month, then reevaluate what's working for you as you go.
• 15:59
  This keeps planning from feeling like a huge mountain that you have to climb, and it ensures it fits your family's changing needs. Again, if something's still foggy or stressful, Thrive Homeschool Community is here to help. We troubleshoot together, we share different approaches, and even show you systems that take the stress out of planning entirely. Just remember, planning isn't about perfection. It's about giving yourself some breathing room and a clear path forward.
• 16:22
  You got this. Now, on to tip number four. Figure out what you can automate. Being a homeschool parent is a full time job. If there's something that you can automate to make your life a little bit easier in the education arena, do it.
• 16:36
  So what does that look like? It could look like choosing more of an open go curriculum that you don't really have to lesson plan for. It could look like outsourcing to an online program twice a week. It could also look like having a fancy online lesson planner fill in your calendar for you. However, I find that the homeschool stuff typically isn't that hard to follow through on.
• 16:53
  It's honestly the other things. Maybe it's time to outsource the deep cleaning in your house. Do you like following a ready to go meal planning service? Maybe you like meal kits delivered. Find that stressor and address accordingly.
• 17:05
  When my kids were little and Scott traveled, I had 20 dinners all in line and made those my loop schedule. Boy, did that get me through some trying times. And finally, tip number five, declutter. That might mean ditching the morning basket. What did you say?
• 17:16
  Woah. Wait Woah. Wait. Let me finish. I get morning time.
• 17:22
  I personally do morning time with my kids, but that doesn't mean that it works for everybody and in every season of life. And doesn't that go for just about everything? The morning basket was just an example because there was a hot minute there on social media where you literally couldn't scroll without seeing a morning basket post or two or a thousand. Come to think of it, in my early TikTok days, I even made a post about what's in my morning basket. But really, if something isn't working for you, even if it seems to work for everybody else, evaluate its importance, maybe ditch it, and just move on, girl.
• 17:55
  Move on. Here's your permission. Now real quick, back to atomic habits. James Clear's four laws of habit formation are gonna help you create a sustainable system without losing your mind. I'm gonna give you an example.
• 18:07
  So let's say that you really do wanna do a morning time where you cover some of those beautiful subjects, but they're not part of your core work. Using CLEAR's first law, make it obvious. You can put the materials that you need in a cute basket or bin like a lot of homeschool moms do and place it in the location where you want to do morning time. Now the second law, make it attractive. What about lighting a candle and playing soft music to signify that morning time is about to start?
• 18:30
  Then you don't have to announce it after a while. The kids will know what time it is by the musical signals, and it makes it much more of a special occasion. Next, make it easy. The third law comes into play here. Instead of planning out the subjects in your basket, maybe make it open and go.
• 18:46
  Are you doing composer study, reviewing geography, going over memory work? If you're just starting out, simply read aloud about your topic and practice memory work for fifteen minutes. When the timer goes off, put the books back in the basket and it'll be ready for tomorrow. If things start out really difficult for you in the beginning, it's gonna be hard to stay consistent. And finally, the fourth one, make it satisfying.
• 19:06
  Have you stayed with something for five days in a row? Celebrate by going out to that one, make it satisfying. Have you stayed with something for five days in a row? Celebrate by going out to that boba tea place that you all love. That works for my family.
• 19:13
  It could for yours too. As you can see, it doesn't have to be overwhelming or complicated. Start small with consistency and watch the momentum build. If you're a homeschooler right now struggling with your mental game, doubting yourself, maybe you have critics in your life, I wanna remind you that you can always pick up my book, Homeschool Rising. This book will help you bust through the myths surrounding homeschooling, reveal the failures of our current system, and help you with a lot of the mindset shifts that we do on this podcast.
• 19:39
  It's available wherever books are sold. And as we wrap up, I wanna leave you with this. Our lives are unique, and your homeschool doesn't have to look like someone's perfectly curated flat lay to be a success. Your homeschool should simply be what works for your family and what helps you build a loving and connected life with your kiddos. And that my friends is the ultimate picture of success.
• 20:00
  Keep homeschooling. Love you. Bye.