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Why some narcissists refuse to leave you alone · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're talking about why some narcissists refuse to leave
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  you alone. Why some of them just try to
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  remain relevant in your life. If you new here, my name is Lee
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  Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist. And welcome to another episode
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  of the Narcissist Code. So welcome back.
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  Welcome back. Welcome back.
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  Yes. Y'all.
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  Yeah. So this right?
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  Here's the question that a lot of people ask me right here.
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  This is the the Will they ever leave me alone?
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  Lee? Why don't they leave me alone?
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  You know what, Lee? We've been broken up for three
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  years. I'm married and moved on.
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  I have a whole new family of my own.
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  They are actually married and moved on.
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  They thought it had it. They look, they're actually with
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  the person that the person that they left me for.
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  And they still won't leave me alone.
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  What is going on, Lee? Why won't they leave me alone
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  when they they left me for somebody else and they're
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  supposed to be happy. Y'all they keep it hot, you
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  know? Y'all know.
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  You already know. I like to keep it hot and ready.
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  Like a Little Caesar's pizza over here, right?
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  But a lot of narcissistic people think that you belong to them.
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  That's it. A lot of narcissistic people
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  absolutely think that you belong to them like you are their
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  property, and you and you will be.
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  You will be treated as such. They they treat you like you are
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  property. They treat you like you belong
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  to them. They treat you like no matter
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  what, they still want to have access to you for some way, in
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  some way, shape or form, you know?
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  And a lot of times if y'all do have kids together, they use
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  that as an access point. Kids are not just kids.
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  Kids are like kids are pretty much like little keys to the to
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  the doorway of your life, you know, kids are little access
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  point. Kids are like little key codes,
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  little key cards, you know, like the hotel room.
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  I know this sounds silly, but like, you know the little key
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  cards you use, the the door of a hotel.
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  That's what like right there to get into your hotel room.
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  That's what kids are. To show your life to the
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  narcissistic person, they pick the kids up, He's like they put
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  the little key card and right back into your life or they call
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  you or they text you. It's always something, you know,
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  You see what I'm saying? They used it as an access point
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  to your life. They always feel like because
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  they've had a part of you or had a piece of you or they cared
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  about you at some point in time, that you belong to them.
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  There's ownership stake, you know, like somebody else might
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  have you. But you'll always be mine, you
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  know your heart will always be mine.
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  Or they'll say something silly to you.
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  Like you always have a place in my heart, you know, you all, you
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  know what? You always have a place in my
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  heart Because I don't care how much I moved on or how much, how
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  happy I may look. Things behind the scenes are
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  kind of crazy. They will tell you a fool.
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  They will tell you a bold faced lie, right?
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  In order to try to keep you in their life.
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  And a lot of times, even if y'all don't have kids, y'all
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  this is a true. This is true even if you don't
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  have kids. I know people are just like,
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  well, leave. I don't have kids and they still
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  reach out. They still think you belong to
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  them because they feel like they've cared about you.
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  They they, they. It really is a weird feeling,
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  just the mindset of a narcissist, right?
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  If I yeah, everybody asked me why I close my eyes when I talk
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  like when I'm talking or thinking like the narcissist, it
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  helps me focus. It's not me turning into a
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  narcissist or the narcissism take it over like I'm getting
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  possessed right now on the narcissist.
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  No, it's literally me being able to concentrate because there's
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  light, there's a studio light right here in my face.
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  So it's just like let's me concentrate and let me think
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  about it and goes into I can dig deeper into my mind, right?
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  So mindset wise, it's just like that person.
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  I don't know, we've shared something so sacred and I feel
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  like nobody else can have that. Nobody else deserves to have
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  that connection. I feel like nobody else needs
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  that connection. Like you cannot connect to
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  anybody else the way I connected to you, the way we connected to
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  each other. I can't connect to anybody else
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  the way we connected, even though I'm even though I'm
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  actively connected to someone else in a relationship.
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  Possibly. It's still not the same type of
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  connection. You know, it's like cut, it's
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  like red and green wires. They serve different purposes.
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  You know, they they both are part of the system, but they
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  serve different purposes and whatnot.
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  It's just like you're you're the red wire, they're the green
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  wire, you know both of you provide electricity but
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  different types of electricity. One of you grounds me, you know,
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  I'm, I'm ignorant on DC current, you know AC current, whatever it
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  is. So correct me if I'm wrong,
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  electricians in the comments section or listen to this, but
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  yeah, they just feel like there's ownership stake in it
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  right there. But also they also feel like for
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  one reason that another reason why they won't leave you alone
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  is because they feel like they can still, there's there's still
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  some type of supply they get from you.
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  You know, they feel like there's some type of supply that they
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  get from you, Like whatever type of supply that is, if you're
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  still sleeping with them, of course they're not going to
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  leave you alone. Y'all, I'm just like, let's keep
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  it high. Let's keep it real.
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  Free cheeks. Free guilt free cheeks.
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  Why? Who?
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  You know, it's like, you know, like it's like, you know what I
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  mean? Like a cheat day of the workout,
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  you know, guilt free cheeks. What?
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  I'm going to turn out some guilt free.
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  No, they don't. They they're going to take the
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  cheeks. If you give them the cheeks, I
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  promise. They going to clap some cheeks.
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  If you give the cheeks to clap. I promise you in this space
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  right here, that's what they're going to do.
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  That's the mindset of a lot of narcissistic people like you.
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  If you open it up, I'm going to take it.
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  So if they're getting still getting some type of sexual
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  supply from you, they're going to keep coming back.
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  Why would they leave you alone? They wouldn't.
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  They're not going to leave you alone.
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  If you left them alone for a little while and you open the
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  door and they came back in and got the ticks again, they will
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  not leave you alone because they understand that they can come
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  back anytime that they want to. If you, if you're in a new
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  relationship and they're in a new relationship, y'all end up
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  cheating with each other, they're damn sure not going to
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  leave you alone and they're probably going to try to
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  blackmail you to keep to keep messing with them.
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  If you don't give me the tickets again, I'm going to tell on you,
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  you know, in in that space. So if you're still provided
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  access, you still provided some type of supply to them.
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  Guess what? I'm going to keep reaching out.
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  If you've cracked before, they feel like they can crack you
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  again. You know, literally if you broke
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  them before, you broke no contact before, and you giving
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  them what they wanted, they feel like they can do it again.
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  So this falls into you right here.
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  This falls into your lap. What are you going to do with it
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  right here? You have to cut off the access
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  right there. Stop giving in to what they
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  want. Leave it so hard.
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  I understand that it's hard. But if you want them to leave
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  you alone, you have to cut it off.
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  There's no other way you can't get.
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  You can't keep giving them some cheeks or keep clapping the
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  cheeks and expect them to leave you alone.
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  That's asinine. That's backwards thinking.
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  Why wouldn't they, even if they would leave there in a new
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  relationship? Yeah, they're in a new
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  relationship. And you still giving, you still
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  giving it up to them. You see what I'm saying?
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  You see what I'm saying? Then we got to wake up right
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  here. We got to wake up.
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  We got to, hey, we got to wake up right there in that space
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  right there within that dynamic. We have to wake up, you know,
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  because if they're still getting some type of supply, they're
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  never not going to leave you alone.
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  Why would they? You know what I mean?
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  They, why would they? They're not going to leave you
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  home Because they're still getting some type of supply, be
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  it sexual, be it some type of emotional supply.
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  They can, like you become their emotional dumping ground.
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  Like you always pick the phone up no matter what.
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  You know that they moved on, but you just feel bad for them.
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  So you always picking the phone up and letting them vent to you.
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  But if you try to vent to them, they hang up on you or they
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  don't want to hear it. Like it's a one side of the
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  street. It's a one side of dynamic, you
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  know, It's like I say, you, you. They can guilt trip you or
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  whatever make you feel bad for them.
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  Whatever it is, if they if they're getting money from you,
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  hell out of here now, they're definitely not going to leave
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  you alone. Why would they leave you alone?
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  They get them if they get them. If they get some coins, they get
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  some coins from you. Hell no.
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  They definitely ain't going to leave you alone.
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  Why wouldn't they, you know, within that space?
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  Why would they leave you alone within that dynamic?
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  If they're getting, if they're getting that coin from you, you
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  know, maybe they're getting that type of space and they're
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  getting that type of coin, they're getting that type of
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  dynamic from you, Why would they leave you be?
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  You know, there's a lot of different space, a lot of
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  different avenues to fall into when you're trying to reconcile
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  this, but they're not going to leave you alone if they're
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  getting some type of supply from you, you know, if you're picking
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  the phone up and talking to them, if you're cracking, you're
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  under pressure, you know, I know.
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  I again, y'all understand from the other side of the space too,
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  but this is, again, I get it. But if they feel like they're
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  getting some type of supply from you, they're still going to
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  continuously do it over and over and over again.
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  They're just going to keep doing it.
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  Why wouldn't they? You know, why wouldn't they do
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  that? They're just going to keep doing
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  that type of stuff because it benefits them in some way, shape
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  or form. It really, really does.
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  But I'm just telling you, like you have to empower yourself in
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  these spaces, in these positions right here, because if you
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  don't, that's when they started to do all this type of different
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  stuff for you right there, you know?
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  So you have to empower yourself in this, in this space right
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  there. You know another reason because
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  they're not. This is the last reason I go
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  over here. You know they're not done with
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  you yet. You know they want to keep you
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  on as a backup supply. They want to keep you on as
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  their, you know, a a place where they can maybe come, come
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  back-to-back, you know, But if this new relationship doesn't
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  work out, they can come back to you, You know, they want to keep
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  you on as backup. They want to keep you, and
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  sometimes they would. They'll they'll keep you in
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  this, in this holding position to keep you from moving on.
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  They don't want to see you move on, you know.
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  They don't want to see you happy with anybody else.
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  Even if they're in a new relationship, they'll make your
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  life harder. Look somehow, someway, shape or
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  form, they'll team up with the new supply to make your life
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  harder. You know they'll make your life
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  harder with the new supply, but still we try to keep you on the
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  hook as a backup plan. I know it sounds ass or not.
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  I know it sounds ass backwards. I know it sounds crazy, but they
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  will keep you. They will absolutely keep you on
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  the hook right here in this situation, within this dynamic,
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  within this space. That's what we fall into right
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  there. That's the you know, that's what
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  how you fall into this space, into these dynamics where you
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  have to be the one you know yo you have to be the one to to end
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  it. So if you want them to leave you
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  alone for good, you have to force them to leave you alone.
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  Give them no reason to think that you a backup plan.
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  Give them no reason. Believe I've done everything you
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  can. You got to keep doing it.
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  You got to outlast them. Sometimes you got to outlast
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  them and force them to leave you alone.
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  Police harassment, whatever, restraining orders, whatever.
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  Believe I want to ruin their life.
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  You're not ruining their life. They know better than this.
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  They know to leave you alone. They know the risk involved in
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  reaching out to you. But they think they they don't
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  care about the risk. They think you want to give in.
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  You know, they don't weigh their options.
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  They think you're going to give in and within this space and
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  within this dynamic, right. They think you're going to give
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  in to them and get their they they're going to get their needs
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  made in some way, shape and form.
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  So that's the position that a lot of us fall into.
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  I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm hoping for the best for everybody out here.
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  You know if you want them to leave you alone sometimes you
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  have to force them to leave you alone.
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  You know you've made it this fall.
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  Y'all drop a flame emoji And also if you're wondering why you
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  got chosen in the 1st place by narcissist, you know or or
• 10:41
  trying to understand the cycle of a narcissistic relationship.
• 10:44
  I have a course called Understanding the Seven Stages
• 10:47
  of a Narcissistic Relationship along with a support group
• 10:50
  called the Mental Healers. The Mental healer support group
• 10:53
  is very small right now. Y'all It's a small contingent of
• 10:55
  people. They're going to talk and chat
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  with each other updated every single day.
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  percent off. Thank you all so much.
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  Mental illnesses out. Please thank you so much for
• 11:15
  making it to the end of my video.
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  Thank you. I will see you in the next
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