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Runny Noses & ChromeBooks · The Pork Roll, Egg, And Cheese Podcast

• Shamus: Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of the Pork Roll Egg and Cheese Podcast. My name is Seamus. Herbie: And I'm her baby. Shamus: And as always, you could be anywhere in the world, but you're here with us. And for that, we thank you. Before we get into sponsors, we just want to kind of tip our hats or send our condolences out to the families of Dolly Parton. Yeah. Tim Curry. Yeah. And for those of you that don't know, Peter Colling, the voice of Optimus Prime, also passed away this week. Herbie: is Optimus Prime. Shamus: That probably hit you right in the heart, didn't it, buddy? Herbie: Lost him twice already. Jesus. yeah, me too. Shamus: Yeah. I was kinda upset over the Dolly thing. God 'cause she just died like out of nowhere. Yeah. Like nobody knew she was sick or anything like that. So and then Tim Curry was an amazing. He was like the essence of what a villain should be in any movie. a lot of people are gonna give me shit for this, but I thought his best movie was The Three Musketeers with Charlie Sheen, Kiefer Sutherland, and Oliver Platt. That was a good movie. Where he played the Cardinal. He was a bad cardinal. I thought that was his best role. So Sucks losing people, man. The older we get, the more we leave behind. Yeah, it sucks. Especially when you lose icons. Yeah. Herbie: Like that. Shamus: somebody said, Well the chick from Heroes died too. I have no idea who that chick is. I know she was young. She was like mid thirties or something, right? But she was one of those chicks, you just kinda like Kim: Yeah. Mm. Shamus: I don't know. So Herbie: Nah, she was she was hot. She was like I guess she got big like after that TV show Heroes was out. And then she did some stuff. But yeah, it's just a shame how fast all these people go, man. It's sucks. Shamus: All right, moving right along. Make sure you're listening to the exciting and new podcast with Andy, Dana, and Jason. They're in the middle of their Halloween run. friend of the show and former guest Troy just went up there to do the Wraith with Charlie Sheen. Herbie: Good movie. Shamus: The reason why I mentioned that is because he also went up there to defend the honor of the three amigos and Cobra. Herbie: Nice. Shamus: So a big shout out to Troy. I appreciate the backup, brother. Also, you want to be listening to Boos and Tattoos with our brother Brett Stoller and his buddy Mike, who I'm not sure what his last name is, but they are doing an amazing job. Yeah. because of the construction on the set, I haven't had a chance to catch up and listen to them, but I know they dropped a couple episodes since. Yeah. And like I said, I've been impressed with what they've been doing so far. So keep up the good work, guys. And as always, the Village Handyman is still our sponsor. A buddy Leonard is just a local guy ready to help improve your home's needs at an affordable rate. You can reach Len at six nine seven eight four six eight six two or at the Village Handyman at Facebook and Instagram. And speaking of the Village Handyman, we have a guest here today, ladies and gentlemen. Herbie: Indeed we do. Shamus: And he's she's actually the daughter of Mr. Leonard, the village handyman. Kim, why don't you say hello to everybody? Kim: Hi, how are you? Shamus: Man. Yeah, I was gonna say Kim's a hell of a kayak buddy to have. She's usually our guide through everything. Yeah. Kim: Yeah, I do wanna correct something. I've never fallen out of the kayak ever in my life or a canoe until that trip. Shamus: I was gonna say, yeah, I I you must be selling some bullshit because I saw it first hand. Kim: Hey, there were many obstacles in that league that day. Herbie: But not for nothing though. Every time we call you up to do something, you're like, all right, yeah, cool. Like it's cool, man. She's you know, you set up the bat signal, she replies quick, man. Shamus: I'll tell you what that Kim: Good time. Shamus: That text she sent today, she was like, Man, we should be kayaking, it's gorgeous out. And was just like Herbie: That was a valid point though. Shamus: Ten minutes later, I went outside for the first time and I was like, God damn, she's absolutely right. This it was gorgeous out today. So missed opportunity. How's Herbie: That's all right. Shamus: your summer going, Miss Kim? Kim: so I had like four days off, so good short summer. Shamus: I was gonna say you worked a program at the school that you work at, right? Kim: Yeah, at the camp. I work before and aftercare for the school and then I do a camp also. Shamus: Okay. So I guess you guys are gearing up for the start of the school year. yeah. Kim: Yeah, definitely. we just did back to school night the other night. So we had Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday we were there at the school getting the classrooms ready and prepped for the kids and stuff. Shamus: Now when you say back to school, that back to school night is just for the teachers and staff? Or is that 'cause I know back to school night's different what I'm thinking of is like two, three weeks after school starts, the parents coming to the school. Kim: Well, for the preschool kindergarten kids, like the younger kids, they can come back. they just came back on Thursday and were able to like get to see the classrooms and meet the teachers. Ma mainly for the younger kids so they could get an idea of like how school's gonna actually be. Shamus: I gotcha. I gotcha. So you ready for the school year? Kim: Honestly, yes. I am. okay. My wallet definitely is. Herbie: Yeah. Shamus: Well, I mean you're a mom too, so I'm sure you're ready to get them off and running and you know 'cause I know a lot of parents right now are waiting on that school bus. They can't wait to send these kids back to school. Herbie: Right. It's almost like she can't really be part of the mimosa squad, you know, as soon as the kids go to school, she's like all mimosa time No, she's gotta go to work. Kim: No, and then I still gotta see my kids because they're in the same school. So I mean I tore I do torment them at school, which is great. Like I love it. Like I'll walk past I'll walk past my kids' classroom and like make faces as the teacher is like doing a lesson and they'll all look over and they'll be like, Riley, your mom's in the window, damn Herbie: Yeah. Shamus: Well let's talk about it out a little bit. what exactly is your job title? You're a teacher's aide? Okay, what does that entail? Kim: It's just bas honestly, everything. I ever except for the lesson plans, we're right there with the teachers doing everything ha all hands on. Shamus: That seems to be a big 'cause when I was in school there was no such thing as teacher aid. So that seems to be a a new and it's growing. Every school I've been in, it seems like there's teachers' aids everywhere. So and like you said, they're kinda like the all purpose backs of the school. Whatever needs to be done or a hole needs to be filled, they're pretty much there. Kim: Right. And like my position, I'm a one on one, which I work with a lot of special needs kids. So I'll just help with one child, but I actually help with the whole classroom. But my job is to follow this one kid around and make sure they're safe and everything goes smooth through the air. So Yeah. Shamus: That's good. It's good that schools are starting to recognize that maybe some of these kids need that. Kim: yeah, for sure. Like the one kid that I was with, I'd love to follow him through his whole school year, but I can't. Like we've gone I've had him for two years now and it's like a s like a stepmom, like to him, like where he doesn't take me serious anymore. So I'm like, he needs to go to another teacher to have him like Yeah, Herbie: Disciplined and stuff. Kim: yeah. 'Cause he'll just stick his tongue out at me if I'm like, Don't do that and he's like So I'm like, nah, you need to go you need to go see someone else. Shamus: Five minutes later she walks down the hall up in one of her kids' classrooms and sticks hurt on the back of her kid. Kim: That's my own kid Herbie: Do what I do it with. Kim: That's my own kid. I can torment my own kids. Shamus: So are you one of those people that cause I know listen, working in these schools, I know that teachers are always and I try to help them out as much as I can. even the old school I've worked at, Crockett, not so much in Tabernacle, but like a lot of teachers are like, Hey, here's my li they put like a list of what they need for their classroom, like pens, papers, you know, da da da and do you guys do a lot of teachers at your school do that too? Like not beg for supplies, but like just ask for help. Kim: We get emails of like I have emails from each three kids of what school supplies are needed for the school and there's from pencils all the way up to a hundred and fifty dollar calculator. That's for my kids. Shamus: Well that's that's for your kids. Or their supplies but I meant as a teacher's aide or as a teacher, do you guys For your supplies for the air? Kim: We definitely So for preschool we can't because we're funded by the state. Okay. But the school is supposed to help supply all the teachers with that stuff. Shamus: Okay. Well yeah, that's you're right because that was one of the that's a whole big thing with the state now preschool. the last school I was at, they were kind of struggling with where are we gonna put all these kids because each year it gets bigger and bigger. Yeah. So they were talking about trying to build a building but then they had to let people go because they don't have the it's it's a mess. Yeah. I know. When I lived in Delanco, the people across the street from me diagonal, they were two I mean married couple, but they were super young and they were kinda like, Hey, you know, school year's starting and we could use some help. The school ain't got no money. So like I always give both like a hundred hour staples gift card and yeah, you know, go get what you need. And then a couple people, like I said on my Facebook, like, Hey the school year's starting, you know, I could use some help. So I don't know if you guys are doing that too, but that seems to be a big trend this time of year. Kim: Yeah, I saw a thing on Instagram it said now schools are asking for like bus brake pads and like the the whole nine yards. Transmission Shamus: Blue it. Kim: Yes. Like so Herbie: Anybody put it in the head gasket? Kim: I it's tough. being a teacher as well as a parent. It's it's trying to handle everything. I told the teachers, I'm like, listen, I know you have a back to school list for my kids. I'm like, but You see my paycheck is flatlined right now, so Shamus: Well I mean they work at the same school so they know what you make. Kim: yeah, they don't argue me for a second. They're like, We know we got you. I'm like, let me hit the supply closet real quick. Shamus: So what is one of the what can I how can I put it? is there a reason why you're looking to go back to school? Like like for me is I'm I'm changing school, so I'm gonna miss the kids that I worked with last year, especially the elementary school. But is there anything you're looking forward to besides like what are you actually looking forward to going back to school? Kim: honestly everything. The social life, the the kids, the routine, I love it all. Like the school I work at, I love it. Like I all the way up to the superintendent. Like I love every staff member there. All the kids, like I'm I'm starting to know like all the kids. I feel so it feels like a second home, it honestly does. It feels like a second home there. Well and and yeah Shamus: That's because it's a block away from Block Away from you. Kim: Yeah, and I spend eleven hours a day there, so I guess it is like a second home to me. yeah. Yeah. I Herbie: Might as well get your mail delivered there too, man. Kim: might as well, right? Herbie: Just make it half a bunch there. Kim: Don't bring up that grill, Herbie. Shamus: Is that the one you won? Yeah. Kim: I put all my tickets in that. The next thing goes in there? Herbie: You think put all your tickets in? Kim: Ninety percent. Shamus: And this is where I heard it from. Herbie: Ha ha ha. Shamus: What was your favorite thing about going back to school, Herbie, when you were a kid? Herbie: I like to see my friends and stuff like that. Like, you know, there was like the school bus ride in there with like socializing with like some of the other kids that were in the vicinity of the neighborhood. 'Cause of course when you go in with the like the bus stops, you're stopping off at other parts that you couldn't really ride your little bicycle to. So you got to see like those other kids. And then sometimes you'd see like like the girl that was like the real shy, quiet girl with the glasses all of a sudden have like this big change and like, you know, she had like makeup on and all this stuff. It's just This is cool. It is like this is like a sense of community when you go to school. You know what mean? Because you know those people and then it's just, you know, the same faculty staff and you're familiar with like the cool lunches that you like or you know the fruit punch that they have there. You know, maybe you're trying to get like your seat to sit next to your buddy so you can have all you know who's who's gonna be in your class, who's teaching your class, all that stuff. You know. Shamus: Okay. Herbie: It's f it's cool. Shamus: That's basically pretty much everybody I mean, everybody kinda looks forward to that. yeah. Me, I just couldn't wait to get away from my brother and sister. Herbie: Yeah. Shamus: And then when you get there, like if you're camping, you're stuck in a tent with your brother, and then when you get back you're stuck in a bedroom with it, like you're sharing I'm like, I Herbie: Like it's you again. Shamus: cannot wait to get rid of these people. So are your kids looking forward to going back to school? Kim: They are. They they love it too. They they moved from a school with like five hundred kids to a school with like hundred kids. So Shamus: Nice. Herbie: Yeah, it's like closer net, you know. Shamus: absolutely. Kim: Yeah. No, they they love it. Shamus: But there's a there's another side to that too. Now you don't blend in as much. So if you get in trouble, you it's easier to get caught. You know what I mean? Kim: yeah, and the teachers know Shamus: Their mom is doesn't Kim: I'm gonna go talk to your mom for a second. Shamus: Yeah, that's gotta be a weird diamond. Herbie: Yeah. Kim: Honestly, the teachers probably are like, You need to go talk to your mom Herbie: You're not getting away with stuff there if your mom works at your school and you're doing stuff, man. Kim: No. Shamus: I was gonna say, you know how different my life would have been if my mom or dad worked at the schools I went to? I never even thought of that. That's crazy. Herbie: My whole life would have changed. Shamus: Either that or I'd have been killed by third grade. They would beat me to death. Herbie: Ha ha ha ha. Shamus: And I went to Catholic school, so they could have done it in the hallway. yeah. And there would have been no evidence of it. They all would have got away with murder. Herbie: The nuns and the parents at the same time. Kim: Okay. Shamus: Yeah. Kim: So funny story, one year it was like probably the first week of school and we grew up like our schools walking distance and my sisters went to school. They were a little older than me. And apparently our dog, he was like German Shepherd, but like part wolf, like he was a bad dog. Got in our school and was running around the school. My sisters had to like chase the dog. to get the dog and take it back home. Like could you imagine that your first week of school? Like is in the school. Like, go get your dog. Herbie: The wolf corrallers. It's the wolf girls. You probably get like some kind of weird nickname. Shamus: And that was way before Team Edward and team whatever the fucking Twilight ship was, the wolf dudes. Herbie: thought those goddamn vampires were racist to be honest. All they did was like depend on like the damn wolves and they always talk shit about them and every time they needed a problem they always use the wolves to bail them out. Bastards. Yeah. Shamus: They sparkled. They a bunch. Don't get me started. Herbie: They were disco ball vampires. Shamus: Fucking liberati ass fucker. Herbie: Mm-hmm. Kim: Yeah. Shamus: I did see that once. I worked my school got off early for Thanksgiving break, so my company was like, Hey, can you go work this private it was kinda like a like a STEM school for like gifted kids, like guys who are real smart and so I was sitting in hallway at the one bathroom and all of a sudden his dog comes around the corner and I'm like and it was it looked like a lassie dog. It was like my golden treat retriever or whatever it was where. So I'm looking at I'm like, what the fuck is it? And this dog's just walking down the hall and I see a student come out the door and all of a sudden the student was like, hey, muffin, whatever the dog's name was and I was just kinda like, What is it and I stopped the kid, I said, What's the deal with this dog? And he goes, it's the principal's dog. He brings it to school all the time, just rums the halls and I'm like, You gotta be kidding like who Kim: we we do actually have a dog that comes in and goes to classrooms for kids and everything, like visits w kind of, yeah, yeah. It's just like Shamus: What do they call those? therapy dog? Yeah, this guy just bought his dog to work. Isn't it a therapy dog? It was just kinda like Herbie: Everyone has you know a therapy dog. Kim: Our dog was a scare tactic dog. Like our dog would scare you. Our dog definitely was not a therapy dog. You'd need therapy after seeing our dog. Shamus: Okay. Herbie: They're like how long did you have to chain up the beast? Kim: yeah, for real. Herbie: It is cool though, man. It's like a wolf dog roaming the hallways and stuff. That's actually that would probably be like the best frickin' hall monitor, man. You know what I mean? It's like either you gotta try to run and make a sprint to the bathroom. Yeah, before before the wolf dog gets you. Kim: Yeah. Shamus: Well, I would have just came out the door, turned left, and that dog would be like, I'm like, You got it. Just go right back into class. Herbie: in the trash can. Sorry. Kim: See, I didn't like school until high school. Yeah. I really didn't. And it's funny 'cause I love working where I'm at and I went to school there. I hated going to school there though. I d I didn't like it. I didn't fit in Shamus: Most kids like school when they're younger and hate high school. Kim: Yeah, no. I guess like I never really like came out of my shell until high school and then high school was the best years of my life. Okay. Best years. actually me and Herbie went to the same high school. We had the same shop teacher and everything. Not the same years, but yeah. They're Herbie: yeah. Kim: still a little bit It's funny because when you said that your shop teacher hated you, she hated me freshman year too. Herbie: That's right. Yeah, she actually yeah, my my my original Shamus: Is it just something from people from your neighborhood she didn't like or Kim: think so. I think she caught adrift of like bunny killers or something. She must have known Herbie: That's not my fault. Shamus: Body chunk. Kim: But then senior year, she was awesome. Let me do whatever I wanted. Shamus: Maybe she just hate freshmen. Kim: Maybe. Herbie: Sometimes you get the ones like that 'cause they just see like these freshmen come in from like eighth grade and they think they know it all or they're just really super immature and they're not really into the the mix of high school life. Yeah. That's probably why, but Kim: Yeah, no, I I loved high school, hated middle school. Herbie: Donut though was horrible. Cause like you know they would have like you know breakfast and stuff in the morning and then shop and I'd just see her watch her eat a jelly donut. It's like ugh. It's like you ever see like in hell is that a Komodo dragon just golf down a freaking baby goat? It's kind of like that, but without the hooves and the horns. Shamus: I don't think I've ever seen that, buddy. Not something that comes up on my Well, it'll be on my outright now. Yeah, right. Herbie: It's gonna be on everybody's feed now. Shamus: Come on to all kinds of weird videos of dragons eating all kinds of shit. Herbie: You go from food bloggers to Komodo dragons eating baby goats. Kim: Yeah. Shamus: Well let me ask you this, Miss Kim, what got you into being a teacher's aide? Kim: Honestly, it's funny 'cause I was a teacher years before I had kids. And then I swore I was never going to be teaching again when I had kids. I said, no way. And then my situation changed and I became a single mom and I had to find a job and I reached out to the school that I worked for previously and they hired me immediately and it just Everything just fell into place perfectly for me. That's cool. Yeah. Shamus: So the school you worked at now is where you worked before? Herbie: Four. Kim: so I did a position while while I had my while I was pregnant with my fourth kid. And then I quit that job because I had to raise another kid. Yeah. And then after that it just it fell into place. Everything just fell into place perfectly for me. Herbie: Plus like you you left on good terms, it's not like you did something crazy and Kim: yeah, yeah. Herbie: it's all about reputation, man. You have a good reputation? Like hell yeah, we'll take you back. Kim: yeah, like I I joke all the time, I still don't know how I work there because we had a meeting the one day and I'm like in the classroom and I'm like, Where is everyone out? And they're like, There you have a meeting to go to. And so I'm running down the hall in my flip flops, knowing you're not supposed to wear flip flops. So you just hear me flopping down the hall running and I run in the meeting and the I'm like, I d I still don't know how I have a job here and the my boss is like, Are you serious? It's you. Of course you have a job here. But I'm like, yeah, I'm not making a good impression on the newbies. Herbie: But if the kids love you and stuff too, after a while like that kinda overpowers everything. Shamus: listen, being yeah. Being the cool security guard, man, there there's nothing better and I'm sure it works for teachers too. When the kids love you, yeah, you pretty much have a couple get out of jail free pass. Herbie: yeah, man. Shamus: And sometimes the kids go to bath for you. So I mean the last school I was at the elementary kids, I I was Mr. Buttcrack. They loved me there. So I could pretty much do anything I wanted and nobody said anything. Herbie: Yeah, but see but you're like you were you were good at your job and you were like good with the kids. So it's not like you were just like you that that uniform that stood in the corner. You you're interacted with the kids responsibly, you were nice, you joked around with them, you made them feel comfortable. 'Cause it's not not only that, like the way you know schools are now with you got security people that everyone's always worried like, what if that one day some crazy guy does something. And you know, but you got like the nice guy that actually keeps you at ease. Makes you feel safe and at ease, really, you know, and then all of a sudden they feel comfortable with you. So in case, God forbid if something does happen. Shamus: Well the one teacher said it best. She said they call everybody before I got there. And even when I first got there, it was officer so and so or officer like I was officer Sheamus. Yeah. by halfway through the year, pre K pre K kindergarten in first grade. And big shout out to the people on bus seven in those classes. My favorite bus. I became Mr. Buttcrack. I was no longer I was no longer officer Sheamus. So they didn't look at me as like an authority figure or a retired cop or the you know So yeah, I was the cool dude. I was Mr. Buttcrack. Kim: But that's how it should be. They should be comfortable. Herbie: What yeah, definitely. Shamus: To the point where at the last Board of Education meeting Herbie: Yeah, tell me. Kim: Yeah. Shamus: The some of the parents didn't realize that they're not gonna have security at that school. I'm not gonna name it, but the one parent got up and they're like, What happened to Mr. Butcrack? Herbie: It's yeah. Shamus: And the board was like, Who what are you referring to? And they're like, The security guard that worked at my son's elementary school. I don't know his name, but the kids always called him Mr. Butcrack. What happened to Mr. Butcrack? Kim: Yeah. Shamus: So other parents were getting up going and like they said the one The one report I got back was the dude say just like me, who was like, Look, I don't know about this Mr. Butcrack dude, but I did meet him. He seems like a good guy, and why is he not here? So it took like fifteen minutes for somebody to whisper into somebody else's name, goes, excuse me, sir, Mr. Butcrack is Officer Seamus. I Kim: Yeah. Shamus: don't know, you guys mean Officer Seamus, but for fifteen minutes at the Board of Education meeting, Mr. Butcrack was Herbie: Yeah, 'cause if you really think about it, the higher-ups didn't know your nickname, man. They really don't. They they you know, the people the higher ups don't really interact with like the staff or the kids. They just command from up top. Meanwhile, you're in you're in the trenches, man, handling the and that's where you got bestowed the honor of being called Mr. Butcrack. Shamus: Well, the thing about it is, and I've had parents come up to me and just say, Hey, you're the only thing my kid talks about for the first hour when he gets home. I'll Herbie: That's cool. Shamus: ask my kid, like, what'd you do in school today? And I'm thinking, we you know, we made this project or da-da-da. And they're just like, Man, I was kicking it with Mr. Buckcrack. He was making fun of me all the way in the bus and I was making fun, you know what I mean? Like, and then he always 'Cause one thing about bus seven I would What's up bus twelve? and they're like, We ate seven and they're like, Mr. Butcrack messed up the numbers candidate like so Do you Kim: Mm-hmm. Shamus: have a nickname Kim at the school? Kim: Not that I know of. Shamus: I was gonna say, 'cause Mrs Mrs. Butcrack is available. Kim: Yeah, I don't have a nickname that I know of right now. just miss Kim. Herbie: Yeah, but see if like if you get along with the kids and stuff too, a lot of times you all you really have to say, cause even like when you're a little kid and you get like that list of whose class you're gonna be in, you know, you could be like Mrs. Smith, Mr. Jim and all that stuff. Mrs. Kim, yeah, she's cool. And then next, you know? Yeah. Then we got Mrs. Mrs. Slytherin of of House Hufflepuff, they're like, nah, she sucks. Kim: Well if it's Herbie: Yeah, yeah, we all did too, chose Kim: Empezamos. Shamus: I always got that lady. Herbie: me. Kim: No, if it's not Miss Kim, it's Riley's. Shamus: Yeah, I was gonna say, do like your do your kids' friends like I got, you know yeah. I got your mom, you know Kim: they'll be like, There's Riley's mom and I'm like, Hi Herbie: So you don't have like any negative like, you know, nickname or nothing like that. It's not like they're making fun of you like Mrs. Toad Woman or whatever. Kids Kim: God, I hope. Herbie: can come up with some weird, like, you know, messed up nickname, you're like, my god, or just like the ones that that they don't like. Kim: No, I think I'm liked around the school. Herbie: Good, good, good. Yeah. Kim: that. No, it's it's a great school. I do get what you mean with security though, because like we had one security guy that was there for many years and he retired and he put a a damper when he retired because like he he was the school. Like every kid he knew every kid, he knew every staff member, he talked with everybody and then like you get these new people in, not saying that they're Shamus: They suck. Herbie: Yeah. Kim: Yeah. They don't they don't they're just different. Yeah. Like they don't communicate. They don't play with the kids. They don't you know, like Shamus: Well, my company was also the company that did security at school and the guy she's referencing, I think his name was Mr. Sean, the guy who was there forever. yeah. He was a great dude, man. I covered I actually worked at that school once or twice when he was out sick or like his last year he was going to look at houses wherever he was moving. So I covered for him. and her school is pretty cool, man, the way it's laid out. Yeah. But I was trying to get a job there and of course, you know, the good old boy system, the company sent yeah, this bag of shit down to her school. Because I'll tell you how bad it was because I took off from my spot, which is like five miles from her school. So they sent him to cover me. Yeah. And when I came back in, now this is the first year I've worked at that school. Yeah. When I walked in, I barely talked to any of the secretaries there, maybe one. Two of them walked up and were like, Don't you ever go out again. That guy sucked. Right. So their school said, We don't want that guy back. I had the state police work all these schools too with us. The three troopers I worked with went up there and were like, Yo, you need to hire this guy and they were like, I don't know how true it is, but apparently their principal, according to my boss, that well, my ex boss, said, they want a specific dude. But then the troopers told me, like, no, that's not the case at all. So I got screwed over for the good and then I ended up leaving. I went to a 'cause I can't do anymore. But yeah, that guy sucked. Herbie: Yeah. See, that's crazy too though, because if you really think about it, and any type of workplace you go to, you're engag you're engaging with other people. Yeah, if you don't have like a like, you know, the way people talk now, you're shutting out a good vibe or whatever, but you're just cool. And it's just, you know, how it reflects that even when you go on vacation or something, you're not there for a little bit. Everybody notices that you're not there, and that's awesome. Kim: Yeah. Shamus: I know you get that a lot. Herbie: Yeah, I was like holy sh yeah. Sometimes like when I when you hear it, sometimes you think they just say that as like, you know, like one of the work jokes, like, you know, hey, how's work? living in paradise. just peachy and all that crap. And you know, when you go on vacation, like, dude, don't go on vacation. You know, you're not allowed to go on vacation anymore. Kim: See, that's the thing with this our old security, like he would socialize with everybody, knew all the kids' names, but like he was out there in the car lineup. Like he'd put himself in front of a car if they were about to hit like a kid. Like that's the way this guy was. the other guy, he was more just social to the teachers, not even like the other students. Like he was just talking to the teachers and I'm like, dude, you gotta like stop. Herbie: You hear what the for the kids. Kim: Yeah, exactly, exactly. Shamus: And you're missing a golden opportunity because I'll tell you what, man, talking smack today's kids, my God, dude. Maybe not so much at the last school, but up in Hamilton where I worked at and I can say it now because I've been so far removed at Crackett Middle School. my God, dude. It was so much because it was a middle school. Yeah. So there were sixth, seventh, and eighth grade. And talking trash, dude, it was the greatest two years of my life. To the point where When they found out I was leaving my company to go to another like I'm I'm a district employee now. Like I work for a school district. they were just like, whatever it takes, get back here. Da da la. And even like the sixth graders, when they first start, like during eighth grade now, they're like, get back. We want Mr. Seamus back. Yeah, it's just it's a golden opportunity if you're not talking to these kids. If you're in any kind of position with education, you need to t 'cause they'll tell you everything. Herbie: Yeah. Kim: They're unfiltered. They don't care. Shamus: Yes. Like I said, who could like I had a kindergarten kid like hey what's up, Mr. Butcrack? I'm like, where the hell did that like my ass never was hanging out? Like I was and it just caught like wildfire. It was like, Hey, it's Mr. Butcrack. I'm like Kim: so for preschool we have to sit and have lunch with the preschoolers. Man, I get all the dirt from home and I'm like I hope my kids don't talk about all this stuff to their teachers. Like they'll say like, yeah, mommy's friend came over with her with his kids and I'm like, I see why mommy and daddy don't live together no more. Like do you you definitely get some some information? Herbie: Yeah, yeah Yeah, it's always it's always donated. Kim: Like the smell my finger and I'm like no and I smell your finger Go wash your hands Shamus: yeah, they're gross too. Little kids the grossest kids. Thank God. In the wintertime I used to avoid that hallway like the plague because they were just like dripping snot there. Kim: They do that with their Yeah, me and my me and my teacher, we have a thing. Like, I'll deal with vomit, I'll deal with the other thing, like poop, but the nose, I cannot deal with the nose. Like if a kid sneezes and there's like Shamus: the pre K kids they s some of them take a dump every once in a while, you know, 'cause Kim: we had to evacuate a classroom? no, we had to fully evacuate the Shamus: They're like three years old, so sometimes they have accidents, you know. It's not like they're just pooping everywhere. Herbie: Yeah, I'm like, wait a minute, what? Kim: no, I swear to you this one day there was poop everywhere in the classroom. The kids stepped in it and it was everywhere. We fully had to evacuate all the kids. We woke up from rest time and we're like, get out of the room. It's so gross. Herbie: Yeah. Kim: But I'm fine Yeah, but I was fine I was fine with cleaning that up. But if a kid sneezes and there's just snot running down their nose, I'll lose it. I'll lose it. Shamus: best is when they're they they're walking and when they sneeze like that big it's like it's usually like the upper respiratory infection and it just and it just appears out of nowhere like and they're like my god and they just look at you like and they're like don't keep moving Herbie: Yeah, just it's just Shamus: Today it's Mr. Seamus, 'cause Mr. Seamus done deal with that. Mr. Buckcrack might, but not today. Kim: Yeah, I don't know, it's the nose for me I can't Shamus: I man, the wintertime I stared clear to little kids. Holy Kim: Ha ha ha. Shamus: shit. They're just walking germ factories. I'm just like, they don't wash their hands and they're just Herbie: yeah. Plus if like if one kid gets it, they're all like confined in like small areas so they're just gonna It Shamus: Everybody. Herbie: just recycles too, man, 'cause they just go home, give the anthrax plague to their mom and dad and their little brother and sister and crap and that cycles through the house for a while and then they just bring it back. Kim: Yeah, well little kids don't know how to blow their nose either. If you hand them a tissue they're like, What do I do with this? And I'm like, You seriously? Like blow your nose We've had we've Herbie: Bust out a turkey paster. Kim: my god. Shamus: I'm talking about the what she said, the kid blows her nose and goes, what do I do with this now? I'm like, give that to the principal. Herbie: Yeah. Kim: Yeah. no they don't they don't even know how to blow their nose out. That like you hand them a tissue and they just look at it like what? Herbie: You know what cracks me too, but like when you go into laboratories and stuff, I remember like visiting like an old school of mine, because like my buddy's brother or something went there and we went, of course we had to like register at the office and I had to use the bathroom and go back into the old lavatories and just and I'm short. So seeing like these small little urinals and stuff, it's just like they're like freaking microscopic. Even for me, I'm like, holy Jesus. Yeah. Kim: Christ. Like Billy Madison. Herbie: my god, man. You got some of those where like, you know, the old style schools where they actually have like the the pea troughs. Like yeah, I don't yeah, those things are That's the little house on the prairie crap. Shamus: Well let's let's look at the other side of the ball in this. You being a mom of four kids. I'm sure when one of used to come home sick, then everybody in your house gets sick. yeah. Or is Kim: For sure, definitely. Herbie: I doubt. Shamus: mom bringing it home now and giving it to everybody? Kim: It's probably mom, because my immune system is so built up from having kids and then working in the schools. I'm like like the new teachers crack me up because they'll be like on deathbed by the first week and I'm like, what's the matter with you? Like, come on. Shamus: You're one of those people I can take like in a bag of AIDS and just hit you right in the face and you're not Kim: Hopefully not. No, no my kids right now they've had a healthy summer and all of a sudden as soon as September first hits, all of a sudden they have headaches and their stomach hurts and I'm like, dude, you can walk to school now? Like get your ass in school. yeah. Shamus: Do they take vitamins? Are you pumping them full of vitamins? Kim: No, they don't take vitamins. Herbie: Sunny D juice boxes. Shamus: Flintstone vitamins, they still make those. Kim: Expensive though. They're expensive. Yeah. Herbie: Yeah. Shamus: Yeah, my mom used to be like, You're sick? Yeah. Take a flint cell vitamin on the way out the door, bait it. Kim: My k my kids the vitamins they take are the sleep gummies 'cause they need to go to sleep. Shamus: okay. Herbie: We we we didn't have sleep gummies. You know what the hell we had? We had NyQuil. no Nyquil, maybe a Benadron. Kim: no, like these these things are magical though because I have night owls. Like I really do. My kids will stay up till like 2 a.m. no problem. Not lying. If they take these gummies, they're out within a half hour. I'm like Shamus: I've tried some of those. Kim: the best thing. No, they don't work for me. Because I tried them and I was I was opposite. I was up Shamus: Are they loaded with melatonin? Kim: It is melatonin, yeah. But it it it was opposite for me because I'm up all night like, is this is it gonna kick in? When is it gonna kick in? I'm ready to go to sleep. Like what's going on? Herbie: Minutes before your alarm goes off. That's like probably like a lot of times the best frickin' sleep you get. Kim: yeah. Shamus: High the NyQuil thing. Kim: For myself. Herbie: Definitely. Cherry NyQuil, don't do it. That green stuff is Shamus: Have you ever seen that that Dennis Leary No Cure for Cancer? Like 30 years ago he did that stand-up and he did that bit on NyQuil? No. Google it, dude. All right. Listeners, if you're li all three of you, check out that Dennis Leary No Cure for Can. Like listen to the whole thing, but it's my God, this thing on NyQuil is dark. Herbie: Dude, Nyquil was the the stuff though, man. That was like if you were like had like anthrax or anything like that, you're just like, just two shots of Nyqua better cure it, man, because I don't feel like going to the doctor. I don't be stuck in a in an isolated room with a biohazard suit on. Like, forget that, man. Shamus: I'll tell you what, when we were in the military, real quick side story, Nyquel would put you out. But if you were really I mean, because when you're a private and you just get there like you're not making any money or anything like that, you're broke. We used to go three ways on a bottle of Robotusle with codeine. Yeah. And we'd go to the club and right outside the club we'd all split it four ways and just get all ripped and then go into the club and buy like one or two beers in a shot, and you were good for the night, bro. Yeah. We were sideways. Kim: Yeah. Shamus: Like I said, people are like, Are you okay? I'm like, No, I got a cold. But Cody will do it for you. Herbie: With your code. Yeah. Yeah. That's when you knew. Like, especially like sometimes you get like that cough medicine when you're a little kid with and it would have like the codeine. It was like that purple one with the codeine in it. Woo. Yep. Put you out, boy. my God. That was like probably like the best sleep too. When I was a kid, if you're homesick and you were like you really weren't feeling good and you actually had that that cough medicine, the purple one with the with the codeine in it, and you had that vaporizer going. my God. It's like Shamus: You ain't care because you be passed out and with all the drool And like you wouldn't even care. You'd just be like Herbie: Yep. PJs all stinking 'cause you're wearing the same PJs for like two, three days while you're trying to rec Shamus: Hair greasy them motherfuckers. Kim: Yeah. There was one time I swore to my mom Herbie: Yeah, yeah. Kim: I was I was homesick from school and I I swore to her, I'm dying mom. And she's like, You're not dying, you have a fever. I'm like, no mom, I'm dying. I'm like, I think I'm dying. Herbie: Like w when you kids when you guys were sick, did you ever did you ever have like your mom just like rub your chest with VIX? 'Cause I know mine did. Shamus: Yep. We had that. We had the the thing it was like a humidifier, but it also had like the VIX thing in there so it would fill the whole room with those vapors Dude I Herbie: Love the humidifier. That's like I swear to God, some people may like listen to white noise or something, they try sleep. You put that humidifier on for me, dude. That's it. I'm out. Shamus: See I couldn't do that in my room, like humidify, 'cause I in the wintertime I always slept with the window cracked. So it'd like thirty it would start snowing if we put the humidifier. Herbie: My room. Shamus: I can sleep in a I can sleep in a meat locker, dude. That'd be great. I love it cold when I sleep. yeah. How about you? Kim: yeah, I I can't sleep with the heat. I when it if it's hot, no. Herbie: Yeah. What was like some of like your when you were a kid and you were sick, with like what were some of like the home remedies that your parents would give you? Kim: honestly the classic, like the chicken noodle soup, the the wet wash rag on your forehead and just watching prices right. Bob Barker. Herbie: Yeah. I know man. We still mention that too, man. Like freaking that that is the the holy trinity for like when you're sick, but that that frickin' mic that he has. Kim: NOOOO Herbie: Like what what it I Shamus: Can't find it. Herbie: know man, I can't find it. It's that freaking really long Probably I've Shamus: And I think they buried him with it. Herbie: never seen any other like, you know, person with that type of a you know microphone. Kim: Now when I'm sick I go to work and then I take off when I'm not sick. That's what we do. Shamus: Yeah. Absolutely. That Herbie: I know there Shamus: is the key to a successful career at Kim: The one day I I f I felt like death row and I was like, dude, if I have to pass out over on the like side of the corner of the classroom, let me be. I'm like they're like, go home and I'm like, Why? I'm already here Herbie: Bury my body under the bleachers in the gym. Kim: And then I'll be like, I'm gonna be calling out sick tomorrow and they're like, You don't look sick and I'm like, Duh Shamus: Going to have the Irish flu. My buddy used to have a sign on him that said if I do collapse, please don't send me home sick unless it's seventy degrees and clear. Herbie: Ha ha. Kim: You don't take sick days when you're sick. Shamus: No, ma'am, you don't. Herbie: speaking of all well like when you guys were young like what was like some of your favorite like school lunches Shamus: I was just gonna say well before we get into that, do you eat school lunch? Do you eat there? you walk home. You're like a block away. Herbie: It's Kim: I mean the beauty is though I could take my kids' school lunch. I have a couple times. It smells really good and I'm like, Mm, okay, Buffalo chicken pizza. Okay. Hell yeah. Yeah. Herbie: Yeah, right. What day is it? Is it Wednesday? I'm yeah, it's Buffalo Chicken I'm staying. Yeah. Kim: I'll take it back to the classroom. Me and the teachers will snack on it. Shamus: So what was your favorite as a kid? Kim: I don't know. Shamus: You never got school lunch, you got bag lunch all the time? Even if it was bag lunch, what was the Herbie: yeah, dude. The plate of fries. Shamus: The girls always got the French fries in like a milkshake or a slushie or something. Kim: But middle school I I would always say I'm buying lunch, but my parents would give me cash and I would save it 'cause I had to save for a quad. Shamus: Yes, ma'am. Kim: And I bought a quad 'cause I starved myself. Shamus: I Herbie: Yeah. Shamus: always bought football cards at the end of the week. The end of the week I'd I'd leave on Friday, go downtown Riverside. There was two card shops. I hit both of them up and then walk home. Kim: Yeah. So that's you don't buy school lunch with your lunch money. Shamus: That and I was mooched off the girls too. I'm like, Yo, you got a quarter, you got Herbie: yeah, because even back in the day it was like maybe a like a plate of fries. It would be like fifty cents or something, dude. It was like, it was great. Or like that freaking what was it? Like that that that fruit punch that was in like served in a huge trash can. Shamus: What was your favorite lunch? Herbie: elementary school and stuff like that I would probably say there was almost like a Salisbury steak with like it almost looked like a T V dinner. Like the Salisbury steak lunch with like the freaking mashed potatoes and corn. That was good. The f you know, the pizza you couldn't really miss the pizza. But Shamus: Yeah. It's the only lunch I never cut was Pizza Day, it every Friday. Herbie: Well ours was like, you back in the day I think Klockner had like the the square almost like the Sicilian type pizza. That was Shamus: yeah, the big sheets of pizza, the like the Ilios. Herbie: Then like high school of course it was like, you know, the the lunches were pretty good there. but I did I I used to love like that's where I actually found out of the strawberry shortcake ice cream bars. Shamus: my god, the snack bar was where it was at. Yeah. Herbie: That's that's where you spent your money. Yeah. Unless it was Kim: That's the Herbie: like they had hoagies or something like that, or like, you know, cheeseburgers. Shamus: or I used to get when I was at lunch like I think my freshman year was the last year I actually went to lunch but when I did go to lunch my sophomore junior and senior I was never down I would go to the snack bar and get three Otis Bunkmeyer chocolate chip cookies and a large milkshake and I think it was like $350 for all that. really and then you take the on me on some fat kid shit take the cookies dip it into the milkshake and then eat it. Kim: See, our high school did fresh bake cookies every day. Shamus: Yeah we did. Herbie: I remember like what is it, that one section of like jello that no one ever really touched except it like unless it was like a dob of whipped cream on it and you were ch you had like no money. Kim: Okay. Shamus: Well that was always the stuff we were just like, you know, you see that movie Better Off Dead, we had one kid in our class that would do it, I'm like, yo, snort that shit. Yeah. Like, Mom. Herbie: They do the thing where they try to like they they they eat it while like they don't o they don't open their mouth, they like suck it through their teeth. Yeah. I'm like, what the shit? Shamus: Yeah, there was always that one kid in every lunch period in America that would just be like, I'm gonna drink thirteen milks today. You're not gonna do it. You're not gonna be able to hold it. Yeah, and he'd get Herbie: Yeah. Shamus: to twelve and all of a sudden my blue I'm like, Yeah, body, give me my Herbie: Got him. There was there was like that one kid that actually had a nice box lunch and you would have to try to trade everything just to get like that twenty or whatever, man. It's just like Shamus: Well that was my younger years. My mom packed lunch for us up until we went to I think third grade or fourth grade or whatever. But yeah, man, I remember those days you dump your bag out and be like, he's got a Twinkie and I've got like a fruit roll up or something. I'm like, let me get that and sh that struggle was real. Herbie: No, we were struggling too. I remember actually I used to get the free lunch ticket thing. Like you would actually have like the it was it was almost like a raffle ticket, you know, you bring in like the little yellow ticket and be like, there you go and get a get a free lunch. I'm like, yes. But it doesn't really cover the ice cream or anything. I'm like, Son of a goddamn. Kim: Well that that's a problem that I have. because when I before I was the teacher, I worked in the cafeteria. And you'd have lunch accounts with kids that have like eight hundred dollars on their lunch account. And then you'd have another kid with nothing, and they'd be stuck with like cereal or peanut butter and jelly. And I'm like watching these kids buy like Gatorade and ice cream and five cookies, and then they go and they throw it all away, and I'm like, this is a problem. But like every kid Herbie: yeah, definitely. Definitely. I totally agree with that. Well Shamus: In the last school I worked at, not so much in Hamilton. 'cause it's a smaller school and Hamilton was j I mean, there was so many there'd be four hundred kids in a lunch period. You had four lunch periods. I think it was twelve hundred kids there. but in the last school I worked, we had the same situation where one kid just and what I did on the side, 'cause I was cool with everybody with lunch lady stuff, I like, yo, here's fifty bucks, put it on this like I yeah, help pay for it. I one of the other teachers was just like, Yeah, I got you too. So we ended up putting money on people. Herbie: And kept it discreet too, so like it wasn't like you know like the other students might have like given s that other kid a Kim: No, every kid should have a hot meal 'cause even if parents have like a negative account, it's not the kids' fault. True. It's not the kids' fault. And then when that kid has to I saw one kid have to take a hot tray back, how embarrassing is that for that kid? Like Herbie: Come on. Kim: you're gonna throw it away. Right. Right. That's that's one problem that I have. Herbie: Yeah, then that that that that definitely needs to be reformed. But like, you know, I think like even in school back in the day where you get like, you know, that one soda machine in there, everyone be psych like, dude, we got a vending machine. Shamus: Yeah. Holy shit. I remember the Catholic school I went to in Philly, St. Henry's. We you would all be sitting there and everybody get their little little trade lunch and stuff. And on Fridays they would go, and it was just random. It wasn't every Friday. If you have a sticker under your tray, you get the free ice cream bar. And you'd be like, Herbie: Okay. Shamus: And some kids still had food on their trays, so like and like all of a sudden some kid would stand up covered in cream of corn like Kim: Listen, if it was for a Choco Taco then definitely agree. Herbie: yeah. Well that thing got it, you know, evolved like we w back in our day, we grew up with the ice cream sandwich and that like, my god, the Filet Mignana ice creams, man. Kim: The chakra. Shamus: It was like prison. Do you know what the currency of an ice cream bar was when I was in second grade in Philly? I'll Kim: Ha ha ha ha. Shamus: do your homework for a week, man. Herbie: Hell yeah. Shit, yeah, 'cause it used to be like regular popsicles or like you they have like the single popsicle or the double popsicle thing. Or they actually they started bump up their game and they had like the cream sickles with like the cream on the inside, like holy shit, what is this? And then the ice cream sandwich, that was my shit. Kim: Ha ha ha. Shamus: So I guess you said you're looking forward to the year. Kim: Yeah, I am. I'm ready. Routine. Shamus: What year is this? What number? this All together even before Kim: Well w all together. Two for the position that I'm in now. Okay. Yeah. Shamus: Are you gonna stay as a male or are you gonna go back to school and try to be a full blown teacher? Kim: I think it's too late for that. I I like the position I'm at. I really do. It's it's easy work. Pay's not great, but I mean if I was in it for the pay I'd be working somewhere else. Shamus: Well not only that, the your struggle is, you know, I go to school and teach all these kids and then when I go home I have to do all their home like my kids' homework I gotta teach them too. So where do you find the time? Kim: Right. Well surprisingly, like this school, like my kids don't really have homework because everything's electronic and like i I don't know, it's different now. It's not like where it used to be, where like you'd come home and have like sheets of homework that you have to do. Shamus: There's talk of them going back to it though. A Kim: Honestly I I Shamus: lot of studies are saying that, you know, all the technology they're using Chromebooks and all that shit like that is causing these kids to be a little bit dumber. Kim: Yeah. Well our school is doing a like tech free Tuesday, which I I'm fully in. Like where the kids have to do other things besides be on their tablets and stuff and Chromebooks. Shamus: Yeah, I think other countries like Sweden, Norway, all that stuff are doing away with all their technology and I like the teacher can have like a what do they call them, smartboards or whatever or a you know, PowerPoint kind of stuff. But like all their they're going back to pen and paper, man, and books and stuff and I think that's great. Kim: Yeah, kids aren't writing anymore. Herbie: There's kids that can't even freaking read or write anymore. It's like what the hell is going on? Shamus: Well not only that, but I mean like even on the college level, everything's AI now. So and I read this article where this professor, I forget where it was, put some assignment on the board with like a QR code. Yeah. And kids like scanned it and sent it right to their AI and like print me up a report on this. but what they didn't realize was the professor kind of put something in the QR code itself that tells AI if you're printing this up, put this every fifth page on line 38 or whatever. Yeah. So all these kids printed up this report and never and it was like, yeah, AI did it. I think they said 75% of the class failed because when the professor got it, he went to like page five, line 38, and AI printed exactly what he told it to. And all those kids fail because they're just too f freaking lazy to pick up a book and you know. So yeah, I think they they definitely need to w get away from technology a little bit in the classrooms, especially you know, elementary, middle school and high school. Herbie: Especially Shamus: Bring back the library cards. Yeah. And Kim: Yeah. Shamus: late fees. Herbie: Cursive too, man. It's like Jesus Christ, man. It's just Shamus: bringing that back too. Herbie: Just a deteriorate like I don't know if people like the young ones are probably like, What the hell are you guys talking about? Like, all right, well look, look at some of a lot of your classmates and stuff. Even like they don't even punctuate correctly during the text, they I mean like they can't even write. I mean it's like it's astounding to see like high school kids that can't do this stuff, man. It's sad. Okay, like you said, get back to basics, man. Starting the dojo with the white belts and come out with the black belt. I'm like, yeah. Shamus: Yeah. Yeah. So I guess we can start wrapping this one up. Miss Kim, thanks for coming by. You want to give a shout out to anybody? Your kids or maybe the village handyman? Kim: Yeah, definitely the village handyman And my mom, and my kids, my four kids at home. and all the kids that I'm gonna be working with this year. No, I'm I'm just excited. I really am. I'm ready to get back to work. Shamus: Okay. Well f all how about you, Herb, you got anything else? Herbie: Actually well I asking her like was this really that bad? 'Cause you were nervous about Shamus: Yeah, you were kinda Kim: And and the three of us always hang out so I'm like, you know what? It's just like us hanging out and Yeah. But don't just not flipping into it. Shamus: It's like being on the river. Herbie: Yeah. It's cool that you came out, man. Shamus: No problem. And from all of us here at Pork Roll Egg and Cheese, we want to wish you, all the teachers at your school, and all the teachers and students across the country, A very happy and safe school year. And remember to get your pet spayed or neutered. Control the pet population. Make sure you like, rate, and subscribe if you have any comments, questions, opinions. teamporkroll25 at gmail.com. You can drop us a line there. And as always, thanks for being here. Say good night, Herb. Herbie: Good night, everybody.