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Who Makes The Decisions in Relationships? · Relationship Talk Thursday

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  Speaker 1: Here with Bishop Horace Smith and Sister Susan Smith celebrating
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  Speaker 1: 50 years of marriage, Relationship Talk Thursday.
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  Speaker 3: A question.
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  Speaker 1: Talk about wives submitting to their husband and the husband
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  Speaker 1: being the head of the wife. This control thing, this
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  Speaker 1: submission thing, what's happening here? What scripture do I always quote?
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  Speaker 1: Treat your wives with knowledge that your prayers be not hindered.
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  Speaker 1: That's one of my favorite scriptures. because it's one thing
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  Speaker 1: to be the head of something, but you have to
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  Speaker 1: use wisdom, too. And, you know, if Christ made the
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  Speaker 1: husband the head, then he also gave him a head
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  Speaker 1: that he should be using when dealing with his wife.
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  Speaker 3: Ooh, Sister Smith. Feisty.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm going to start with our scripture, and then
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  Speaker 2: I'll go to another one. You know, I tell men,
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  Speaker 2: the scripture gives your wife power over you. It is
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  Speaker 2: the only place in the Bible where it says somebody else,
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  Speaker 2: can hinder your prayers. It says to husbands, do of
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  Speaker 2: them according to the knowledge that your prayers be not hindered.
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  Speaker 2: So it seems to me that God has an ear
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  Speaker 2: to that woman. But the one that they always quote
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  Speaker 2: is the one you quoted in Ephesians 5, that, you know, wives,
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  Speaker 2: obey your husband as in the Lord, for the husband
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  Speaker 2: is the head of the wife as Christ is head
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  Speaker 2: of the church. And they stop right there. But the
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  Speaker 2: scripture says, and gave himself for it. So the headship
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  Speaker 2: there is not harsh authority. Headship there really is sacrificial responsibility.
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  Speaker 2: Jesus went to Calvary for us. So if the husband
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  Speaker 2: is the head of the wife, that means if anything happens,
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  Speaker 2: the husband should be sacrificial and protect the wife. What
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  Speaker 2: we apply is that you will do what I tell
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  Speaker 2: you to do because I'm your husband. And I tell
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  Speaker 2: people this. I've had people ask me that question over
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  Speaker 2: the years of pastoring, and I tell them that any
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  Speaker 2: time if your husband is not in total agreement with
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  Speaker 2: his pastor and his church, then how can he tell
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  Speaker 2: you what to do, but he is not following the
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  Speaker 2: one who's head over him? I've had a couple of
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  Speaker 2: times in church, somebody said to me, my husband does
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  Speaker 2: not want me to come to church, does not want
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  Speaker 2: me to come to Bible class. I said, your husband
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  Speaker 2: is incorrect. You should not follow him because he is
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  Speaker 2: out of line with God. So you can't just take
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  Speaker 2: the letter of the law of Scripture and apply it
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  Speaker 2: to what you want to do. If the husband is
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  Speaker 2: the head, meaning whatever he says she should do, then
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  Speaker 2: she has no voice.
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  Speaker 3: In any discussion, decision. But that's not the intent of Scripture.
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  Speaker 2: That Scripture will show you that Christ is totally sacrificial
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  Speaker 2: to his church and love.
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  Speaker 3: And will do anything to bless the church.
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  Speaker 2: We want to use it to say that men can
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  Speaker 2: tell women whatever to do, because that's misogynist. That's a
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  Speaker 2: part of our culture, and it is not applicable to
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  Speaker 2: a Christian marriage. A Christian marriage, like anything else in
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  Speaker 2: your life, should be directed by the entire word, not
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  Speaker 2: what we call proof text. You take one scripture and
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  Speaker 2: apply it to this situation, and the rest you ignore. No,
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  Speaker 2: the scripture is never in Scripture. fighting one another. It
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  Speaker 2: is the entirety. What does Christ mean when he says that?
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  Speaker 2: He means that husbands, your job is to be protective.
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  Speaker 3: And sacrificial to your wife. And then he goes on
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  Speaker 3: down to verse number two.
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  Speaker 2: He says, submitting yourself, verse number 22 in that same chapter,
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  Speaker 2: submit yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
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  Speaker 2: That means your marriage should be under God's reverence and
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  Speaker 2: not your individual desires. So, you know, decisions are decisions
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  Speaker 2: and they have to be responsible.
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  Speaker 1: You gave me the long answer.
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  Speaker 3: Oh, I gave you the long answer.