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Doctor Sleep: Choosing Integration Over Unconscious Living · Divine Dialogue

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, listeners, and welcome to the Divine Dialogue Podcast, where we dig deeper into the trove of wisdom and guidance stories have to offer.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever watched a movie and felt moved?
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: Felt called to make a change or reflect more deeply on your own life?
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: If so, this podcast has a lot to offer you.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: So if you've stumbled upon this episode, this will be episode three of the Doctor Sleep series.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: Uh there are two other episodes to go ahead and check out, so please look at those.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I also have multiple other series for other movies that I've covered since this podcast launched in, let's see here, I think it was July or June.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: So it's been a few months now.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're interested in essentially just spiritualizing movies and kind of breaking down pivotal scenes and understanding how those scenes can impact our lives, this would be a great podcast to like, share, and subscribe if you haven't already.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I will go ahead and get into episode three here.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna do something kind of a little bit unconventional this time.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: I've been doing that a lot in this series.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: Normally I write drafts for my episodes, but this one is just gonna be straight from the top of my head.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm kind of embracing more spontaneity lately.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm actually currently on leave from work.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: I took an extended leave just because I felt like, you know, my body was kind of telling me in very gentle ways that I needed extended time off.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: So I am taking some time off, and I'm actually currently sitting in my living room that I worked on rearranging the other day, and I really like how it looks.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: But I made like a little makeshift um living room bed with a bunch of blankets and pillows, and it's like a little fortress, and I'm just very much in my Taurus comfort right now for you uh astrology nerds out there.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: But I will go ahead and get into the scene.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: So for today, I'm going to be covering the scene where Danny almost relapses on his sobriety, and it's because basically the plan that he had with Abra goes not according to plan, gets very dangerous, people die, and he has like a lot of anxiety and stress about you know planning this with her.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: We'll get into the the ins and outs of why I think in particular, like this hits him very hard.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: I mean it would hit anybody hard, but I think especially with his trauma background, like the reasons why it hits him hard.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna get into that when we get into the soul meaning here.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: But for the scene recap, basically Abra and Danny work together to try to take down the true knot because by this point Danny has reluctantly agreed to help Abra because she leads him and his friend Billy to that murder of the boy Bradley Trevor from earlier, and so now he wants to assist.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: Also, Dick had talked to him the last time that he appears to him and told him, you know, that he needs to help Abra because Abra needs his help, and otherwise she might be, you know, prey to these monsters, and so he's come around to helping her, and that's starting to pull him out of his defenses that he had built so that he can reclaim the last bits of himself that are still being led by fear.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: So he and Abra hatch a plan.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: It starts off very successfully.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: They take out pretty much all of the true knot except for Crow and Rose the Hat, because Rose the Hat is not with the group when this happens, so it's only them two that remain.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: And so they're able to kill, I mean, I don't know how many are in the true knot, I think it's something, probably like about a dozen of them, or ten or so.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: So they kill quite a few.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: Danny and Billy take them out with hunting rifles.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: But what happens at the very end of that battle in the woods is Snake Bite Andy gets shot by Billy as she's about to kill Danny because she tells him to sleep, and Danny can't resist since she's a pusher, and he's out of practice with his own shine and his magic, so he falls asleep, and then Billy saves him.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: But as Snake Bite Andy's dying, she tells Billy to kill himself, and so he shoots himself with the gun, and Danny, you know, is devastated because that's like his best friend that helped him reach sobriety and get out of the lifestyle he was in, and so he's like very, very devastated.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: But then there's another blow, which I think is even more significant to him because of what Abra represents to him.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like I touched on in the last episode how she is, you know, reminiscent of him as a child, too.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: So then what happens after he loses his friend is Abra shows up to him in you know astral form and says, I didn't see the crow, where's the crow?
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: And the crow had snuck into Abra's actual house, which Rose the Hat knew where that was because she had already, which we talked about in episode two, how she goes into or tries to go into Abra's mind so she knows where her house is.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: So Crow goes and gets her while Abra is projecting into the woods to fool the true not.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: He goes and gets her, and her dad is home with her and he kills her dad.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: And so Abra's dad dies, most of the true not die, Billy dies, and Danny goes back to Abra's house to find Abra's dad dead and Abra missing.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so he sees a bottle of alcohol on the counter, and that was, I believe, the same bottle that the dad had drank when Abra showed him what was going on because he didn't really understand why this, you know, grown man Danny was interacting with his daughter.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like obviously, it was very strange.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: So Abra had to show him what happened, and he took a drink because he was stressed out, and he had offered Danny a drink, but Danny said no, of course, because he's sober.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: But he sees the bottle on the counter, and after losing his best friend and Abra and feeling probably responsible for it, he takes the bottle, he goes back to his room that he that he's been renting, that Billy helped him get, and he's pacing around with the bottle and he's freaking out because he tries to reach Abra, like he tries to call her, you know, like how they've been communicating kind of telepathically with each other.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: He tries to reach her, he can't reach her.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: He calls for Tony to help him, but Tony doesn't answer.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're not familiar with Tony, Tony's like the imaginary friend he kind of has that lives, well, when he in the shining, he lives in his mouth, but it's basically like his imaginary friend, and his, I would say, contact point to his shining or like his his gifts, his powers, and he's not hearing anything, and he's about to take a drink.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like he lifts the bottle to his lips, puts it down, lifts it again, puts it down, and then he smashes it on the floor of his bedroom, and he says something to the effect of no one's answering your call, so stop calling and just listen.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to talk about this scene mostly because of that line.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: That line is so significant.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's one of the most crucial lines in the entire movie.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: But, you know, I wanted to talk about the scene because we see kind of energetically like the the merging of masculine and feminine through the characters of Abra and Danny.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: I kind of touched on this in the last episode that Abra is like a very divine feminine, but you know, has like a darker energy trace to it, in the sense that she, you know, is kind of sassy and like she's you know pointed in her defense against the true knot.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: So it's just a little bit more, you know, heightened feminine energy.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: And Danny's very masculine in the sense that he kind of actioned his way into a state of calm and stability.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: He hasn't really found his floor yet of peace.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: And we see this because, you know, when things go wrong that go outside of his plan, because he had a very action-based plan and it didn't go well, he is very tempted to slip into unconsciousness.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: But instead he he calms himself enough to break the bottle on the floor so that he can't be tempted to drink it.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: And then he he tells himself, you know, just listen.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so he his his head essentially turns into like a radio and he's trying to go through all the stations, and then he hears Abra.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: But Abra's very faint because Crow had drugged her.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: Because they allude to this in earlier scenes that like drugs dim your shine, and any kind of basically alteration to your natural state dims your shine.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: And so he had drugged her so that she wouldn't be reachable.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: And but he's able to hear her, and then he's able to astral project himself to where she is, which is currently in a car.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: Crowddy's taking her, presumably, to Rose the Hat, back to Rose the Hat, for them to, you know, start farming her for her steam.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: And based on what like previous conversations, they were probably going to keep her alive to use her up.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: Dick also alludes to this when he tries to petition Danny to assist her.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: So anyway, he finds her on the road, and then, you know, he's telling her, like, I can barely hear you, like, you know, you're weak because you're drugged, and he's like, Let me try something.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: And he puts his hand up to hers, and then basically it's kind of similar to if you've seen the movie Ghost, how Sam lets Oda May basically take over his body.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: Or no, far sorry, the other way around.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: Oda May lets Sam take over her body.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: Kind of similar to that.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like, Abra lets Dan, because her essence is so weak, like, he temporarily takes over her so that he can actually, you know, in the physical world of the crow, like he can fight the crow essentially.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: And it's really cool because her eyes change to like his color, so they're like blue.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: So that's like a little detail that you can tell that he's taken over her temporarily, or at least occupied her alongside her.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: But anyway, so he's able to figure out where they are because he's looking at like road signs, and then there's this whole thing where he notices that Crow is not wearing his seatbelt.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: He makes the car jerk because Abra had shown him how to push when he was driving before, so he knows how to do that.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: So he makes the car turn into a tree.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: Crow Daddy goes through the windshield and dies, and Rose the Hat screams bloody murder, and she's super upset.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: And then Abra is just back by herself and makes the journey back to Danny, and then that will lead us into the next episode, basically the ending.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: But I wanted to talk about this scene, particularly when Danny is about to break his sobriety, because in the soul meaning sense, I really think this is his, this is like the climax of his character development.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: Because he, like I said, up to this point, he's been a very good man.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: He's been, you know, leagues above where his father ended up.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like he he's surpassed the the monstrous nature of his father.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: He is a good man, he's a stable man, he's a good-hearted man, he is a caring man, like he's helped a lot of people transition because he has a job at the hospital, like he or in hospice.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: He works like as a as a caretaker there, and he helps people transition.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: And he is a very good man, but he still has fear because he hasn't faced some of his demons yet.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: So this is where we see that final one, which I think is so honestly beautiful.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: Because, like I said, I can really relate to Danny a lot in The Shining because he, I really think that the reason why he hid his light as well was because he didn't want to, he felt very responsible if things went wrong.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's kind of why, like, presumably he probably didn't get married, he didn't have kids, he was very like much a loner, he didn't want to hurt anybody.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: You know, he even says earlier in the movie when he's talking to Dick when he's a boy, like, I won't shine, it's too dangerous.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: He really tried to live so cautiously, and so for him, it's not just, you know, oh, I lost my best friend, and oh, Abra's kidnapped, like that's tragic enough.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: But I think in a very, you know, visceral level at his soul, he was he still believed that like his friend dying was his fault, Abra getting kidnapped was his fault, and if he's not able to reach her, it's also his fault.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: And that was all cascading onto him in that moment where he was thinking about taking a drink because he's like, Okay, see, this is why I I drank, because it's too painful to feel this.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: The responsibility of this power is too great.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: I want to go numb from it, I don't want to be in it.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: But he's able to be brought back by the feminine because the feminine tells him he wants to take an action.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: He's trying so hard to manufacture a result.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like he wants to reach Abra.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: He's like trying to call her, trying to, he's just desperately trying to take an action.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: And when you're very masculine-oriented and you can't take an action, that's a very painful and stressful place to be if you don't have the adequate feminine foundation to rest in.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: Because the thing is, is that masculine will turn on itself and blame itself for the result.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and that's exactly what he's doing.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: That's why he wants to go numb, because he's like, it's my fault that she's dead, it's my fault, not she's dead, it's my fault, Billy's dead, it's my fault, she's kidnapped.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: So he is really struggling, really, really struggling with going unconscious because drinking was a way for him to numb that.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: And it's really the last piece of him that he needs to face before he's able to go to the overlook and you know, confront the last bits of it, which we get into in the next episode with the ending.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: But this is the point that if he had chosen to drink, then he would have, you know, not that he would have failed completely, but he wouldn't have been ready to integrate.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: And potentially Abra could have died because he wasn't ready to integrate, which ironically enough, would have been, you know, with him blaming himself, it's like, well, yeah, if you go unconscious again, if you live from fear again, if you respond to a fearful situation with more fear, you might lose her.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: But he's able to instead break the bottle.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: And then he remembers, he's like, no one's answering when you call, so stop calling and listen.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: And listening is the feminine.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: Listening is the stillness.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: Listening is going quiet, going still, paying attention.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you're frantic and you're trying to take action from fear, there's a lot of things that you can miss that, like if you were still, you wouldn't even see as presented to you because you're trying to force an outcome.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: Now, sometimes even in fear, you can force an outcome.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: You can get the desired outcome, you can, you know, remedy something as possible, but it's it's braided with so much fear that I think it definitely makes your chances, I don't know, necessarily always less, but definitely riskier.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you're not, if you're not clear-minded, if you're if you're all over the place and chaotic, it's just more likely to make mistakes.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like when you're anxious, when you're not settled, it's just more likely.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: So the fact that he's able to listen and then he hears her.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's like to me, when I saw that, I was like, yep, because he's masculine, she's feminine.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: So when the masculine pauses and listens, it can hear the feminine.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: And then the feminine will lead it to what it needs to then take an action.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: Because of course he wants to take an action, he wants to save her, and he does end up taking an action, but he has to get still before he can take an action.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that that's such a great scene to show that because once he gets still and he finds her, then he's able to be creative because when he's inhabiting her and they're working together in that moment in the car, you know, he's collecting information.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: He knows, okay, she's on this road, they're going here.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: And he notices that the crow is not seat belted.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: So he and he also learned how to push from Abra before.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: So he knows what action to take to get Abra out of it, because he makes sure that she's belted in, and then he, you know, moves the car and then he's gone, and then Abra can find her way back, because now there's nothing that's going to inhibit her from talking to him.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because Crow even says like that he dosed her a lot with some kind of sedative, because she's very, very powerful.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: So that will wear off, and then they'll be able to find each other, which they do later.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like he but Danny, if he had not learned to be still, and he just kept trying to take action, which I think is a is a very easy trap to fall into, especially in the world we live in, because I think there's so much energy in this, where masculine thinks that it has to just take an action, like the action itself is going to bring peace.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like if I can take an action, then I can be peaceful.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: And the opposite is true.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: You have to be peaceful and then take an action.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: Or not even in his case, peaceful isn't even required because that's probably a little too far.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: But you have to steady yourself enough that you can hear.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: And that's exactly what he's doing when he's going, like when he goes into essentially his head and his head kind of turns into like a tuner for a radio station.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: That's what he's doing.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: He's trying to pick up on the signal of stillness, which is Abra.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: And when he finds it, then the pieces of what he needs to do, the masculine part, the action, then he learns that after he's tapped into the stillness in the feminine.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: So I thought that that scene was exceptionally well done to really show that.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's one of my favorite scenes in the entire movie.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, the movie has amazing scenes throughout, but I thought in terms of showing in real time what to do energetically, especially if you're someone who has, you know, addiction issues and is trying to recover, and that's like a sensitive spot, like, and that would grab you in very stressful situations.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that is such a great, you know, dramatic representation of what that looks like.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: So I wanted to cover it as a as its own episode because I thought it was very, very well done.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_00: And then in terms of a personal mirror, so actually I had something happen because I mentioned earlier that I'm currently on leave from work.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I, you know, I've been on leave now for it's been like two weeks as I'm recording this.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_00: I have another three weeks to go.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I like the first week and a half, honestly, the first week was pretty bad because I was just adjusting to not having my typical rhythm.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: And that was a little bit difficult because work did provide a structure that I did rely on for routine inconsistency.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: So that was a little difficult.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: Also waiting to make sure that I got approved.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_00: That was a little bit uh stressful, more than a little bit stressful, actually, for me.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: But I went on a little like day trip, took myself to another city not too far away, like maybe an hour drive or so.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I was staying at this really nice place and it had a rainfall shower.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know if it's just because I'm a tourist and I just like little luxuries and decadent things, but I absolutely love that rainfall shower.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like my mind was just thinking about okay, how am I gonna feel when I go back to work?
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: Will I be able to go back to work?
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: Will I adjust going back to work?
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_00: Is it okay that I needed time away?
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like, does that make me, you know, a bad person or a bad worker or lazy or, you know, all these ridiculously unkind things, right?
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: Just struggling with with not being where I was, like not being present.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: And so, you know, I just got this feeling, which I've mentioned this before too.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: If if you're new to meditation, try it in the shower because the shower is very immersive and sensory.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_00: But I went in the shower and I literally stood in the shower just with as hot as I could stand it for probably 25 minutes.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like, just took a really long immersive shower.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I forgot pretty much everything because I was so focused on where I was, and I was like, it was so easy for me.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I I've mentioned this with body first regulation because literally, my body, you know, being in the shower, your body's very engaged, like you can feel the water, smell the soap, like just the sensation, like it's it's a very sensory experience.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so I just completely let myself be in that moment in the shower.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I came out, and I was like, in just 25 minutes of just being completely where I was, it almost like undid 80% of the stress, like, nor 90% of the stress.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like it was shocking to me because you would think like.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if you're stressed out for a week or a week and a half, like you would need way more than 25 minutes.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: Cause, like, how does that add up?
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like, how does that equate?
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: But I really did feel so relaxed.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_00: And then I got out, and you know, I was in the bed, and like the sheets are super nice, and like the mattresses are nice, and I was just like enjoying where I was.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I was just in my being where I was, enjoying what was before me, choosing things that my body wanted to experience.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I even had a separate moment the day before that at the same place, much smaller, but it was kind of it led into that feeling in the shower where I was like really craving something sweet and everything was closed.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: But they had a gift shop that was open like for another hour, and I went downstairs real quick, and they sold these are like my favorite cookies, but like the Milano cookies, they sold those in the gift shop.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I grabbed a pack of those, just three cookies in a pack, like a really small pack, and I took it up to the room, and I just like was present enough and aware enough to enjoy them like on purpose.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I was sitting there and I was like, okay, I'm going to per like presently eat these and be with these cookies.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: And like, I literally like turned the TV off, was just sitting in the dark in the hotel room, and I was like eating the cookies and focusing on how they tasted, and I was present with the cookies, and it's like that also was very calming.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I think, you know, bringing up the astrology thing of the Taurus, I really think for me, I'm very sensory.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and I think that that's just part of my sign.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I respond very well to things that engage my body.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that's why my roam machine is so important to me, and like hot showers and food.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like when I really sit and am with those things, it really is regulating because it brings me into the present.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not thinking, and my mind is not taking off with all these stories and all these, you know, usually scary like movies or scripts that I'm writing that haven't happened yet.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm brought back into the present.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_00: And the thing is, it's it's almost like it kind of reminded me of, for those of you who are gamers, um, if you played The Sims, where the newer versions of The Sims, if you would do an activity, it would say, Your mood is this level influenced by this activity for 10 hours.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like it kind of felt like that when I got out of the shower.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_00: And like the next morning, I slept.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_00: So, first of all, I slept fantastic that night, which my sleep in recent years has not been great.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's it's usually broken up, but this was like a full, I was like asleep asleep.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_00: And then I woke up the next morning and I still felt really, really good from the night before because I went to bed with that piece and woke up with piece, and then you know, I stayed in bed for four hours, and I normally don't do that either because I have somewhere to be, like, I usually have to go to work or I have something to do.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, you know what?
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like, because my body just wanted to experience the bed, like just lay in the bed and feel the sheets and the and the different pillows from the ones I have at home, and like just be in that, you know, little like cocoon of paradise and relaxation, and it didn't want to leave.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Well, I got nowhere to be, I'm on, you know, leave.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like, who cares?
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_00: So I just laid in bed and I still had another day at the hotel, so I didn't have to check out that day.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I literally laid in bed from like 6:30 in the morning to 10:30 in the morning, and didn't feel any kind of like guilt or this, you shouldn't be doing this.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you need to be productive, you need to be none of that.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because I was just like, I'm in this place, I have nowhere to be.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_00: If this is what my body wants to do, and this feels good, like this feels peaceful, then I'm going to let myself have this.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, so in combination of, you know, because again, even with the shower, I don't take those long showers.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_00: I take like a 10-minute shower typically, or 15 minutes maybe, but like 25, 30 minutes, I don't do that usually.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_00: In combination with taking the long shower and staying in bed four hours after I woke up, like I felt so loose, almost like a machine that, you know, can't, well, I know our body's not a machine, but it just kind of reminded me of this.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's like a machine that is having trouble running because like the gears are, you know, rough and they're not running smoothly, but like you put a little bit of, you know, oil in them and then they start running more smoothly.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_00: It kind of felt like, I guess, for better, maybe a better analogy would be like the tin man in in the Wizard of Oz, like getting oil put on so I'm not so rough and like rigid.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like I felt so loose and like free and light and not bracing, like not on guard, just very relaxed.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I bring this up because like in Danny's case, with you know, his is obviously way higher stakes than mine, but it kind of goes to show like the stories that our minds create, you know, like the the point-blank truth of the Dr.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_00: Sleep scene is Billy was killed by Snake Bite Andy.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: Billy knew what he was doing.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_00: He's a he's a fully participating adult.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_00: Abra also, I mean, yeah, she's a kid, but she also, you know, wanted to confront these people and kind of dig, did drag Danny into it because she wanted to engage them because she's a brave, courageous girl.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's not Danny's fault, but Danny, his mind was spinning the story that it was his fault.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like our minds will spin all sorts of stories, like, oh, you should have done this, and this is your fault.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: And if you'd have done this better, you'd had a different result.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: And you have no way of knowing if that's true.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like in certain cases, it might be true that that things would have gone better if you would have done something else, but a lot of the time a thing is just a thing, and that's what it is.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and for for me with my personal mirror, it's like there's nothing wrong or unacceptable or is any kind of like indicative of a shortcoming on my part.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_00: If I want to lay in bed for four hours when I have nowhere to be, like, I don't have to justify my existence, you know, like I don't have to be useful to the system every second of the day.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like, or really, I don't even think anywhere near to the extent that we're told we have to be.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_00: I think that the system lies and tells you that all the time.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why people have trauma, because when you really think about it in terms of, you know, beings on this planet, humans are the only ones who have to constantly justify and pay for their existence.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, I really think that that's that's why, you know, I'm kind of going off on a tangent and a little bit of a stretch here, but the Dr.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_00: Sleep scene, it's it's really good at showing what our minds do that can really torment us.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I really do use that word in its full meaning, like, and I I mean it really is tormenting, because if you like if your mind is just constantly in story mode and those stories are not very nice, like some people have positive stories, but they're still stories.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I would say that's not healthy either, but at least it's not tormenting.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like, but but if your mind is just constantly like beating you up and and giving you, you know, reasons why you are to blame for all sorts of things, like that is very painful, a painful way to live, and it can drive you nuts, like it can definitely make you want to go unconscious, which I think is why addictions are very prevalent, because if you can't find your way back to the present and you're in the past or the future, and you have a very mean-spirited narrator, or your inner critic, like, and in my case, that would definitely be like my dad mostly, like that is a very, very painful way to live.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_00: So I wanted to talk about this scene because I thought it was very crucial to the story, and also like the fact that Danny really does tap into more fully because he has to, he has to experience the divine feminine holding him even in the most painful situations, because he hasn't really had to have it hold him in anything that was very devastating.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like he's you know, he got himself to a pretty stable place, but this is like the first really, really big, you know, event in his life that he had to let himself experience the the fact that you're not left alone in those moments.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like if you can really listen, there will be guidance, peace, wisdom.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_00: You'll be held in it.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like you're not alone.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_00: And he had to, he had to experience that because he didn't, it wasn't embodied, you know.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_00: So if he would have drank, like that would have been, like I said, he might have ended up creating exactly what he feared he had created.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_00: That was the story in his mind, if he had taken a drink and went unconscious.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_00: So that's why I wanted to talk about this scene because I think it's definitely one of the best scenes in the whole movie.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_00: Another one is when he talks to his dad at the bar, which I'm gonna go over in the next episode when we finish up Doctor Sleep, because I think that that episode is extremely important to also the last bits of his reclamation.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like, definitely when he's able to resist the alcohol, that's like probably the biggest for him, but that's also pretty significant to face his father in the hotel as well.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, I just wanted to cover that and do it freestyle.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_00: And let's see here.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_00: So, in terms of the divine dialogue questions, let me go ahead and just pause this and I will be right back with that.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_00: So, I guess I'm gonna ask one question here.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I'm gonna answer it with a bit of another mini personal mirror from the same couple days that I just talked about with a different experience.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_00: I really do think that my little getaway to a town not too far from where I live was very helpful in this episode that I'm doing.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_00: Basically, I want to ask you, because I think this is really the crux of the lesson of the scene here.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_00: Is there currently or have you experienced, because I think most of us can say we've at least experienced this at least once in our life, but is there currently or have you experienced your mind creating a story based on events that is, you know, dramatized, it's heightened, it's there's added flavor and color to it beyond just the events themselves.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and have you had trouble separating the essentially the commentary from the reality?
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because I I can definitely say I have.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and what I was gonna go to is so something else about me, we I've talked about my love addiction, which I would say I'm no longer love addicted, but you know, I would say just like Danny's recovering alcoholic, like I'm probably a recovering love addict too.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_00: But I also was a and still am a soda addict.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_00: I've just switched to a healthier soda.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_00: I drink Olipops, which are pretty expensive, but you know, they they really do feel better in my body than what I used to drink, which was a lot of Diet Coke and Dia Pepsi.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I mean 88 ounces worth a day, sometimes more than that.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I, like Danny, had like a sobriety stint.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like I I kind of joke about it, but I I was able to well, I would I would drink either Diet Coke or Dia Pepsi didn't matter.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_00: I liked either one, but I would drink, you know, and then stop drinking it, drink it again, stop drinking it, drink it again.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_00: I did this on and off for years.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_00: And then I believe so.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_00: When I went to this place, you know, they have like base like basic, like, you know, simple grills that you can get like combo meals at that are open late because everyone's gambling and stuff.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_00: So I went to that little cafe that they had, and of course they don't have Olip as a choice, and I had brought a couple cans with me, but you know, I I was like, well, it comes with it.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_00: And this is kind of me also learning to live by rhythm instead of rules, because a very black and white rule that I had been carrying, because I had, I think, been sober from Diet Coke and Diet Pepsi for like at least three or four years, maybe even five, up until like a few days ago, because I got the combo meal and I just got a diet Pepsi.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I kind of it was like an intuitive feeling that I had.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, you know what?
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_00: I don't go to places like this often.
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not, you know, away from home.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I love my home.
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a homebody, like most of the time.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's not something that I do all the time.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, you can have a diet Pepsi, Jess.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's okay.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_00: And it was literally like maybe, I don't know, a 16-ounce plastic cup with ice.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_00: So it wasn't even a full 16 ounce of diet pepsi.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I had it, and I did the same thing I did with the cookies.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_00: I like enjoyed it, you know, like I sensed it, I felt it, I tasted it.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_00: The carbonation, all the sensations, like I was present with it and enjoyed my meal and all that stuff.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I didn't then come home and buy like cases of diet pepsy or diet coke.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like I didn't go off the deep end.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_00: Now I think with certain things like alcohol, I wouldn't recommend that approach, but I think certain things you can allow yourself to enjoy them in moderation or like very occasionally.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_00: Because, you know, when I came home, it was like, okay, well, now I'm back home and I have my Olipop stash that I keep, and I always have some on hand because it does have caffeine, so I have to have one or I would have a headache.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_00: But point is I didn't go out and completely lose my control over not needing to have Diet Coke or Diet Pepsi.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't go out and buy like a ton of Diet Coke and Diet Pepsi and go on a binge.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_00: I just enjoyed the one soda.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like that was something I learned as well.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_00: That the story my mind came up with was essentially like, well, if you ever drink Diet Pepsi or Diet Coke again, then you know, you're just addicted and you don't have any impulse control and it's terrible, like it's not good for you, and all this stuff.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, actually, I think that marinating in those toxic stories of the mind is much more harmful than having soda.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you don't beat yourself up about having soda, it's just a soda.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_00: If you beat yourself up about having soda, it's a courtroom like declaration on your being, and that is very stressful.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like that probably has a lot more to do with like high blood pressure and illness than the damn soda does, you know.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and I really do think that that's true.
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I feel that that's true in my body.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I wanted to share that because you know, my mind was creating and I was very observant of it.
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_00: I was watching it, like creating the story, and it's like, wow, just over it a fucking soda, like really.
• 37:45
  SPEAKER_00: And so I had it and I was like, bullshit, you know.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, I wasn't at all tempted.
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_00: I haven't even thought about it until I was recording this, and I was I checked out of that place, I don't know, three or four days ago now.
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_00: I hadn't even thought about it until I was recording today about having the diet pepsy.
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_00: So it didn't overtake me to have the diet pepsy.
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like, oh, I had one diet pepsy and now I'm out of control.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_00: I think with some addictions that's true.
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_00: I think with certain ones, it's definitely not.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that there can be, you know, instead of a rule, a rhythm.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and you can feel it.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like you can feel if you're overdoing it, and you can feel if you are just enjoying yourself and you're allowed to enjoy things.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_00: If you create a story about it, that's where it becomes very painful.
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so I wanted to bring that up as to answer the divine dialogue question because, like, how Danny's mind creates the story.
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_00: And again, I understand that his is way higher stakes than mine, but I think the point still stands that like your mind will create stories.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think it's really important to reflect on times that our minds will create these stories, because that I think does a lot more harm than whatever the event is.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like, even in Danny's case, like the event's terrible.
• 39:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, he loses people, like he lost his best friend, he's devastated, like Abra's kidnapped.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like, it's terrible.
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_00: But the story he's telling himself about it is even worse in a sense, because he is blaming himself.
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_00: And all of that trauma is coming up because of the story he's telling himself about it.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like blaming himself for his best friend's death, and blaming himself for Abra getting kidnapped, and like, you know, oh, this is my fault, you know, and all these things, like probably back from his childhood, like why his dad was mean to him, and all these different things like coming up because of this event.
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_00: But it's like those are stories, they're not the truth.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's trauma talking, it's, you know, it's your inner critic, it's rigidity, it's mean, it's rules-based.
• 39:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm saying, I guess one of the main lessons I would take just from answering that divine dialogue question of if you can uh relate to your mind creating stories, is that the story is oftentimes worse than the event around it.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_00: So that's what I would take away from this as I kind of share a few experiences here.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, I had a great few days in that that place that I went to.
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I am gonna go on one more trip, like for probably a week, just to go to different scenery.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_00: Because for those of you who are familiar with Arizona, it's a very strange state.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_00: If you go like north, it is drastically cooler and it's still hot here, like unbelievably so in October, still reaching 100 degrees on on occasion.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I want to go somewhere that's not as hot.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna go do that and probably go for a walk in the woods, honestly, like on a hike hiking trail, because I've kind of been getting the feeling to go do that, to just go out and be among the trees and walk a trail, like a short hike, you know, nothing crazy, like maybe a few miles and come back out.
• 41:02
  SPEAKER_00: But I will be doing that as well before I return to work.
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_00: But I will be releasing one more Doctor Sleep episode next Friday.
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_00: And then I believe also next week, I will be releasing the Back to the Future special as well on the date to commemorate the second part two back to the future of the the I think it's October 2015.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_00: I forget the day, but there will be a Back to the Future part two special.
• 41:29
  SPEAKER_00: So stay tuned for that as well.
• 41:31
  SPEAKER_00: And as always, divine listeners, thank you so much for tuning in.
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_00: If you would like to engage on any episodes I've done, or if you have suggestions, please don't uh be shy about reaching out to me.
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_00: My email is in the show notes.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_00: Please also comment and, you know, just start a dialogue with me.
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_00: I would love to talk to my audience about the stories and the episodes and also get feedback and suggestions.
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'd be happy to work in content.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_00: I do drop every Friday at 9 a.m.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_00: Arizona time.
• 42:00
  SPEAKER_00: But um if you have suggestions, I would be happy to drop additional episodes as well that I can work around my content schedule.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you so much for listening, and I will catch you next Friday.