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Donald Drumpf Theatre: Television Oligarchy or a Series of Distractions · Donald Drumpf Theatre radio show

• 0:10
  SPEAKER_03: It's time again for Donald Drunk Theater No one knows what is up or down Jack or
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_03: white Legal or impeachable Everything is made believe in Donald Drunk Theater So
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_03: let's pull the curtain back We are controlling transmission If we wish to make it
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_03: louder
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_03: We will bring up the body.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_03: We can change the focus to a soft blur.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_03: You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_03: You've just crossed over into...
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_03: Why does everything have to be so f***ing weird?
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_03: These are dangerous times.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_03: Something terrible is going to happen.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_03: Truth isn't truth.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_03: I hear it's fake news, but maybe it is, maybe it isn't.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's fake news, okay?
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_03: Now, would I do that?
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_03: The president of the United States has the authority to do what the president has the authority to do.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_03: You win!
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I've declared myself as king.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_03: I learned a lot from Richard Nixon.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_03: When the president does it, that means that it is not illegal.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_03: I could cause panic much better than even you.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_03: I could do much.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_03: I would make you look like a minor league player.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_03: So, Professor, would you say it's time for everyone to panic?
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, I would, Kent.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_03: Welcome to the resistance.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_03: I promise you for the remainder of the next four years, I will only speak to you in this tone of voice.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:48
  Then I'll give her and bring her to me,
• 1:50
  to me,
• 1:50
  to me,
• 1:51
  to me,
• 1:52
  to me,
• 1:52
  to me,
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: to me,
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: to me,
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: to me,
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: to me,
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: to me,
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: to me,
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: to me,
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: to me,
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: to me,
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: to me,
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: to me,
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: to me,
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: to me,
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: to me,
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: to me,
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: to me,
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: to me,
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: to me,
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: to me.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: FESTE CONTROY DION,
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: DIBANDA MAI,
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: DI FATHER LAND MASTURISTAIN,
• 2:20
  DI FATHER LAND MASTURISTAIN,
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_03: DI FATHER LAND MASTURISTAIN,
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_03: DI FATHER LAND MASTURISTAIN,
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_03: DI BANDA MAI,
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_03: DI BANDA MAI,
• 2:29
  DI BANDA MAI,
• 2:30
  DI BANDA MAI,
• 2:31
  DI BANDA MAI,
• 2:32
  DI BANDA MAI,
• 2:32
  DI BANDA MAI,
• 2:33
  DI BANDA MAI,
• 2:33
  DI BANDA MAI,
• 2:34
  DI BANDA MAI,
• 2:34
  DI BANDA MAI,
• 2:35
  DI BANDA MAI,
• 2:35
  DI BANDA MAI,
• 2:36
  DI BANDA MAI,
• 2:36
  DI BANDA MAI,
• 2:37
  DI BANDA MAI,
• 2:38
  DI BANDA MAI,
• 2:38
  DI BANDA MAI,
• 2:39
  DI BANDA MAI,
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: DI BANDA MAI,
• 2:40
  DI BANDA MAI,
• 2:41
  DI BANDA MAI,
• 2:42
  DI BANDA MA
• 2:54
  Okay.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_03: You see what I mean?
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_03: Drumpf.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_03: Presence in a cafe can inspire this unfortunate demonstration,
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_03: but more of all these presents are going on.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_03: I advise that this place be shut up at once.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_03: But everybody's having such a good time.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, much too good a time.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_03: The place to be closed.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_03: But I have no excuse to close it.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_03: Find one.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_03: Everybody's to leave here immediately.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_03: This cafe is closed until further notice.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_03: Clear the room at once.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, by the way.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_03: How can he close me up?
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_03: On what ground?
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_03: I'm shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_03: You're winning, sir.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, thank you very much.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_03: Everybody out at once.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_03: In America, we are rapidly becoming an oligarchic form of society.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_03: What does that mean?
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_03: It means that today we have more income and wealth inequality
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_03: than any time in the history of the United States of America.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_03: The most important issue facing our country is the very rapid movement toward oligarchy.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_03: What I almost uniquely in Congress talk about is the fact that we are moving,
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_03: Lex,
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_03: to an oligarchic form of society.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_03: The media talks about oligarchy like it's something that only happens in other countries.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_03: We talk about oligarchy in Russia.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, Putin is surrounded by the oligarchs.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_03: Well, guess what?
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_03: What do you think is happening in the United States?
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_03: So what you have right now is an economy with more concentration of ownership than we've ever had.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_03: That means whether it's agriculture,
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_03: transportation,
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_03: healthcare,
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_03: whatever it may be,
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_03: fewer and fewer massively large corporations control what's produced and the prices
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_03: we pay.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_03: And then you look at our political system, and we don't talk about it.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_03: What is the reality of the political system today?
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_03: And that is that billionaires are spending huge amounts of money to buy this election.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_03: Billionaires play an enormous role in terms of electing politicians and in
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_03: Washington in determining what legislation gets seen and not seen.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, come on, Bernie.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_03: You're being ridiculous.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_03: You're acting like billionaires are on stage next to presidential candidates literally jumping for joy.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_03: And oh,
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_03: TV party tonight!
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: TV party tonight!
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: TV party tonight!
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: TV party tonight!
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_03: We're gonna have a TV party tonight!
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_03: Alright!
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_03: We're gonna have a TV party alright!
• 6:13
  Tonight!
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_03: Do you have any plans to go to Mar-a-Lago to kiss the ring?
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_03: Do you think there will be any retribution against the late night hosts?
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, probably.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_03: Probably some.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe some in subtle form, some maybe more explicit.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not going down there right now.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_03: Obviously, my membership to the club is pending.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_03: You know,
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_03: I assume they're going to call my references and look into things and then I'll
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_03: tell them I could,
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_03: you know,
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_03: I happen to be someone who was very adept at chandelier polishing.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_03: That might be, Joe and me going down there might be one of my favorites when they had to come out and go.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_03: And so we did.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_03: Like they spent the year going, this man will destroy all that you hold dear.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_03: He is a Hitler Mussolini.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_03: cocktail mix.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_03: And we must all say, literally one week later, they're like, so we go, we have lunch, light lunch.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_03: I get the watercress salad and you know, Joey, he loves shrimp fra Diablo.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_03: So he and the Mar-a-Lago shrimp fra Diablo is delicious.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_03: Why would the Morning Joe host meet with a man who at different points has called
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_03: them Psycho Joe and Dumb as a Rock Mika?
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_03: They're worried they're gonna get thrown in prison in the new Trump administration.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_03: So they're like, let's just grovel at his feet and try to stay out of the gulag.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: For those asking why we would go speak to the president-elect during such fraught times,
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: especially between us,
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: I guess I would ask back,
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_01: Why wouldn't we?
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_03: Because you say he's a fucking fascist.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_03: That's why.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_03: You don't go hang out with the fascist.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_03: You're like, you're a fascist and I'm not going to your house.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_03: There are so few fascist tomes I attend.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_03: I thought that was one of the more.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_03: Remarkable.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_03: but it shows the performative nature of so much of all of this shit.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_03: It seems to me that if you spend four,
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_03: eight years telling your audience that he's a fascist,
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_03: that when he then wins the election and you go to his house and bend the knee,
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_03: people are gonna be pissed.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_03: So we're putting together a cabinet.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_03: The second Trump administration cabinet and like Home Alone 2.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_03: Many people are saying this is better than the first one because of course Home
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_03: Alone 2 I was in and people say maybe the greatest film and
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: So far, he's made a number of cabinet picks whose main qualification seems to be being on TV.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: His defense secretary is a guy from Fox and Friends,
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: his transportation secretary is a guy from Fox Business,
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: and his attorney general is a guy who I'm pretty sure was on to catch a predator.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_02: This is a soap opera.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_02: Real Housewives of Mar-a-Lago.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_02: It's like a soap opera.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_02: There's so much drama.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_03: Kind of like watching a soap opera.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_03: Soap opera.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_03: Soap opera.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_03: And the world will continue to turn.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_02: Trump is having a lot of drama.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_03: He's hiring a lot of TV people.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_03: Trump is making it really is like a season of Dancing with the Stars.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_03: And when he's not putting billionaires in charge,
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_03: Trump is nominating quack TV personalities who have also called for slashing away
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_03: the crucial government programs.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: Some breaking news to tell you about in the last few minutes.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: Donald Trump adding another former television personality,
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: a theme here,
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: to his new administration,
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: nominating Dr.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: Oz to serve as the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services Administrator.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's a position that manages Medicare and Medicaid and other programs that cover
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: half of all Americans,
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: half of all the people in this country.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's a position under the Department of Health and Human Services that will require
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: Senate approval to be confirmed.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: Trump says this about Dr. Oz, quote, Dr. Oz, of course, has no experience in government.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_03: Trump isn't just filling his cabinet with daytime TV personalities, he's also hiring from pay-per-view.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_02: Trump has also picked major Republican donor and former pro wrestling executive who
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_02: is helping with his transition,
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_02: Linda McMahon,
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_02: for education secretary.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_03: Coming up as your next secretary of education is Linda McMahon!
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: Pro wrestling executive Linda McMahon.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: You might remember her from being head of small business in Trump's previous administration.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: Now, does Linda McMahon have expertise in education?
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: No, of course not.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: She's being appointed to the Department of Education.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: Why would she?
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: But it doesn't matter anyway when you hear Trump's plans.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_03: And one other thing I'll be doing very early in the administration is closing up
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_03: the Department of Education.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: But until Trump dissolves the department, I guess Linda McMahon will be in charge.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: And we don't know what her policies will be exactly.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe Hulk Hogan will teach our kids math by showing everyone how to divide a shirt into two.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_03: I yield the floor to Randy Savage.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_03: I'm living in a nightmare.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_03: What the WWF is going on here?
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_03: And then you have another Fox host,
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_03: a guy named Sean Duffy from Fox Business for Secretary of Transportation.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_03: Duffy served in Congress for eight years, but you know what he did before that?
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_03: He was on The Real World and Road Rules on MTV.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_03: He hired the guy from Road Rules to be Secretary of Transportation.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_03: Because of course he did.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_03: The road is right in there.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_03: And that's one of his least embarrassing picks.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe he'll pick one of the teen moms to be Secretary of Labor.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_01: Bobby Kennedy is an absolutely inspired choice for HHS, just like the rest of this cabinet.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: Every day, Rob, I wake up and it's like Christmas morning.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what kind of incredible pick are we gonna get today?
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_01: As a team, this really is a dream team.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_01: We have not seen this kind of talent pool since the founding fathers.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_03: We are still good friends I'm watching everything Television man Television man
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_03: Television man Television man
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_03: We are still good friends And I'm trying to be Watching everything And I gotta say
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_03: We are still good friends You know the way Television man I've got what you need We
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_03: are still good friends I know the way you are Television man I know you're trying
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_03: to be Watching everything
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_03: Hi, I'm Deborah Malone.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_03: And if you're watching this,
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_03: you're a random television personality who Donald Trump just appointed to run a
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_03: huge federal agency.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_03: Right now, you might be wondering, how did I get this job?
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm just in charge now?
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_02: And wait, what is my job again?
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I can assure you the answer to all of these questions is I don't know.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_02: I also was appointed to my job without knowing what it is.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_02: Trump saw me on a reverse mortgage ad on Fox News, and here I am.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_02: It's totally .
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_02: And while starting a new job is never easy, there are two things to remember.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_02: One, we're all in the same boat, even if that boat is the Titanic.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_03: And two, more than likely, someone else will up worse than you, like RFK.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_02: I'm pretty dumb, but that guy is dumb.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_03: Best of luck and thanks for watching.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_03: I'm Debra Malone, the
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_02: The Secretary of Internal Communications.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_02: So that's what my job title is.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_02: Awesome.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_02: Good luck.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_03: I have my orders.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I see.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_03: Gestapo's bank.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_03: My dear Ricky, you overestimate the influence of the Gestapo.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_03: I don't interfere with them, and they don't interfere with me.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_03: I am master of my fate.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_03: I am... Major Scrossworth here, sir.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_03: You were saying?
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_03: Excuse me.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_03: Trump has reportedly been working the phones to put the squeeze on senators to
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_03: strong-arm them into confirming Matt Gaetz for Attorney General.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_03: Matt Gaetz, also known as the Caucasian Diddy, is in the hot seat right now.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_03: At least two women have testified before the House Ethics Committee claiming Gaetz paid them for sex.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_03: And according to their lawyer, that's not even the most damning part.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_02: At this particular event, what did your client witness?
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_03: So she testified in July of 2017 at this house party.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_03: She was walking out to the pool area and she looked to her right and she saw
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_03: Representative Gates having sex with her friend who was 17.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_02: They were paid by Representative Gates to have sex.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_03: That's correct.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_03: The house was very clear about that and went through each.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_03: They essentially put the Venmo payments on the screen and asked about them.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_03: And my clients repeatedly testified, what was this payment for?
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_03: That was for sex.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_03: The fact that Matt Gaetz was stupid enough to pay for sex with Venmo, that alone should be disqualifying.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_03: I mean...
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_03: The then molester was not quiet about his activities.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_03: The lawyer says Gates even flew his lady friends to New York.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_03: They testified that they met up with Matt Gates in New York in January of 2019 for
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_03: his appearance on Fox News.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_02: Met up with or traveled with, do you know?
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_03: So Mr. Gates paid them for the tickets to come to New York for the trip.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_03: They went to Broadway shows while they were there.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_02: What show did they see?
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just curious now.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_03: Pretty Woman.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_02: About a sex worker.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_03: I had not even thought about that.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_03: If Trump can't get his nominees confirmed through the Senate,
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_03: his team is considering recess appointments.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_03: Recess is where Congress temporarily suspends its proceedings,
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_03: also where Matt Gaetz finds his girlfriends.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_03: Allegedly, allegedly, of course.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_03: If you've ever dreamed of being an attorney general, update your resume because they have an opening.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_03: Major breaking news.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_03: President-elect Donald Trump's pick for attorney general is out.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_03: Matt Gaetz says he is withdrawing his name from consideration.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_03: Trump himself has put out a statement.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_03: Matt has a wonderful future and I look forward to watching all of the great things that he will do.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_03: He is withdrawn from consideration just in time for high school winter break.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_02: And this new story is that the Ethics Committee was told of a second sexual
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_02: encounter with a woman who was just 17 years old.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_03: Also, the day before Gates dropped out, the New York Times dropped this.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_03: That is a chart prepared by federal investigators that shows a web of thousands of
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_03: dollars in Venmo payments between Gates,
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_03: his friends,
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_03: and women who had drug-fueled sex parties between 2017 and 2020.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_03: But that's probably just a coincidence.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_03: Gates is out, so there has to be a replacement.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_03: Thursday night, Trump announced a more confirmable nominee.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_03: Who is the nominee?
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_03: Charles Manson.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_03: Definitely more confirmable.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_03: Former Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_03: What are Pam Bondi's qualifications and bona fides for leading the Justice Department?
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_03: She's an actual lawyer.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_03: She was investigating Trump University for possible criminal prosecution until he
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_03: gave her $25,000 and then all the charges magically disappear.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_02: I'd like to announce I am investigating Trump.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_03: Reports that new first best friend Elon Musk is starting to irritate President-elect Trump's advisors.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_03: During a dinner at Mar-a-Lago,
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_03: Axios reports of a heated confrontation between Musk and Trump advisor and attorney
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_03: Boris Epstein.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_03: They write,
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_03: quote,
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_03: At one point,
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_03: during what the sources described as a massive blow-up,
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_03: Musk accused Epstein of leaking details of Trump's transition,
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_03: including a personnel pics to the media.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_03: Epstein responded by telling Musk that he didn't know what he was talking about.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_03: Trump and his team are already reportedly annoyed at Musk's constant presence and
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_03: his intrusions into official meetings and policy discussions.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_03: Reports are now emerging from Trump world about the predictable tensions with Elon Musk.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_03: NBC News reports,
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_03: Musk has been so aggressive in pushing his views about Trump's second term that
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_03: he's stepping on the toes of Trump's transition team and maybe overstaying his
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_03: welcome at Mar-a-Lago,
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_03: according to two people familiar with the transition.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_03: He's behaving as if he's a co-president
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_03: and making sure everyone knows it.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, of course he is.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_03: The guy has $300 billion in the bank.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_03: Do you really think he wants to hear somebody else's ideas?
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_03: What a job he does.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_03: He's a great... And he happens to be a really good guy.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_03: You know, he likes this place.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_03: I can't get him out of here.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_03: He just likes this place.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_03: And you know what?
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_03: I like having him here, too.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_03: He's good.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_03: You know,
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_03: my goal these days is to try to stay in a good mood about things,
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_03: and nothing's making me feel better than the fact that Donald Trump finally got his
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_03: own Donald Trump.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_03: You can't... Look, I've tried.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_03: I've tried.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_03: You can't... You can't get rid of this guy.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_03: Every time he does something crazy, I think, well, that'll be the end of it.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_03: That has to be the breaking point.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_03: And then, you know... No, he's still right here.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_03: And also, I can't believe I'm saying it.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_03: He needs to cool it on social media.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_03: The guy posts like a mania.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_03: Elon Musk,
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_03: aside Trump's backers insisted a liberated Trump would supposedly be more prepared
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_03: to be president,
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_03: and it sounds like things are already going very smoothly over at Trump HQ.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: -"His team has returned to the patterns of his first term in office with shouting matches,
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: expulsions from meetings,
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_00: and name-calling,
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: all between the public celebrations and rocket ship photo ops."
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_00: -"Donald Trump's easily excitable.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_03: He's easily distracted, and I think a lot of the people around him know that.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_03: Man,
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_03: I almost forgot how fun it is when the leader of the free world is easily excitable
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_03: and easily distracted.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_03: You know what?
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_03: It's either that or four straight years of constantly refreshing while Trump's brain says it's buffering.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_03: Hasn't even been three weeks since the election.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_03: They're already descending into name-calling and shouting.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_03: I can't even imagine what the White House is gonna be like when they actually take
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_03: over and have real responsibilities.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_03: Everyone's gonna be inside throwing chairs and dodging fists while Trump tries to
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_03: sneak out with his golf clubs.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_03: The chaos explains how Trump made one of his first major missteps as president-elect,
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_03: picking Matt Gaetz as attorney general.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_03: The Gaetz for AG plan came together just hours before it was announced.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_03: It was hatched.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_03: aboard Trump's airplane en route to Washington,
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_03: on which Gates was a passenger,
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_03: while incoming White House Chief of Staff Susie Wiles was in a different,
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_03: adjacent room on the plane,
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_03: apparently unaware.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_03: If you leave Trump unsupervised for a second, he'll do something insane.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_03: That should work out great with a president who will be 82 by the end of his term.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_03: I want to do a rocket launch to show up Elon.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_03: Sir, that's a nuclear missile silo.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_03: That would...
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_03: trigger World War III and life on Earth as we know it.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, fine.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_03: Could you go get me a Diet Coke?
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_03: And they're gone.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_03: Aim at Elon's house.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_03: And now the guy who was Trump's first choice for AG is slinking away in disgrace.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_03: This is a guy that didn't have,
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_03: that the media didn't give a time of day to after he was accused of sleeping with
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_03: an underage girl.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_03: There's a reason why no one in the conference came and defended him because we had
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_03: all seen the videos he was showing on the house floor that all of us had walked
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_03: away of the girls that he had slept with.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_03: He'd brag about how he would crush ED medicine and chase it with an energy drink so
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_03: he could go all night.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_03: Well, that explains the shouting matches at Mar-a-Lago.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_03: They're chugging monster energy and chewing on Cialis like they're lifesavers.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_03: We should do tariffs first.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_03: We should do tax cuts first.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_03: You get the hell out of here.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_00: You get the hell out of here.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_00: Are you rock hard right now?
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_00: You know I am, dog!
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_03: Chuck did not win a mandate.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_03: He got less than 50% of the vote.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_03: Republicans have a tiny majority in the House, and Trump has a chaotic team of crazy people around him.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_03: They're going to screw up a lot.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_03: There's going to be so much dysfunction in the Trump White House.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_03: They're going to need a constant supply of... ED medicine.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_03: Since Donald Trump won the election, this is...
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_03: This is interesting.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_03: The number of vasectomies in the United States has skyrocketed.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_03: Vasectomies were up 1,200% on November 6th.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_03: And that's the sign of a great incoming president.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_03: When people start getting all their health care in before it becomes illegal.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_03: When people stop wanting to have children.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_03: You know, we make a lot of movies and TV shows here in L.A.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_03: with all sorts of criminals,
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_03: outlaws,
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_03: prisoners,
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_03: and whatnot,
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_03: but I don't know that we'd ever come up with a character like Donald Trump who
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_03: somehow slithered out of his cage yet again.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_03: After all that went on,
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_03: the Manhattan District Attorney agreed to postpone sentencing for the 34 felony
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_03: counts he was convicted of in May until after the end of his term as president,
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_03: if at all.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_03: You know,
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_03: He did say we'd get tired of all the winning, in fairness.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_03: Four indictments,
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_03: 34 felonies,
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_03: an insurrection,
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_03: the fake electors,
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_03: the find me 11,000 votes call,
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_03: the classified documents in the men's room.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_03: He got away with all of it.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_03: It's like Shawshank without the redemption.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_03: And I have to say,
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_03: For a criminal mastermind who weaponized the Justice Department against Donald Trump,
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_03: Joe Biden really dropped the ball on this one.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_03: It's like nothing ever happened at all.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_03: Trump is even getting intelligence briefings again.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_03: So if you're staying at Mar-a-Lago right now and you're wondering why the toilets
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_03: are all clogged,
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_03: that's why.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_03: Thanks for the songs from Black Flag,
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_03: Talking Heads,
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_03: and Golden Earring,
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_03: and thanks for the clips and excerpts from Victor Laszlo,
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_03: Louis Reno,
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_03: and Rick Blaine from Casablanca,
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_03: Bernie Sanders,
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_03: Michael Ian Black,
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_03: Desi Ladek,
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_03: Amber Ruffin,
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_03: Kara Swisher,
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_03: Nicole Wallace,
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_03: Seth Meyers,
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_03: Donald Rumpf,
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_03: Stephen Colbert,
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_03: Jimmy Kimmel,
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_03: Grace Kulenschmidt,
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_03: Roy Wood Jr.,
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_03: Jenny Hagel,
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_03: John Berman,
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_03: and Lawrence O'Donnell.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_03: So you will come to know.