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48: Learning How to Release Control - What You Think You Want vs. What You Need · The Oreaganic Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hello my friends and welcome back to the organic podcast.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Reagan, and today's episode we are exploring the fear of releasing control and why it can actually bring you so much more freedom to learn that what you think that you want is not always what you need.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: And often things work out a lot better for you if you actually release the attachment that you have to like things having to work out a specific way or life having to be a certain way.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: And when you release that attachment and you allow things to just be as they are, or for things to unfold in a way that you necessarily didn't necessarily want them to, you will find that things turn out way better for you than you probably could have imagined if you were the one trying to like force things to be this quote unquote perfect way.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: So without further ado, let's get into the episode.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Organic Podcast.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Reagan, mechanical engineer, lifelong athlete, and recovered overachiever, here to empower you to pursue your highest potential and live freely as your happiest, most organic self.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: Every week we'll dive into topics ranging from personal growth, mindset hacks, psychology, and a blend of science and spirituality to give you all the tools you need to stop living on autopilot and start creating a life of freedom, meaning, and fulfillment as your most organic self.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: If you're ready to become the best ready to do yourself, a lot of people these days seem to have a problem with feeling like they need to be completely in control of every single factor, every single area of their life.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like everything going on needs to be exactly how they want it to be, or else everything is going to freaking explode and the world is going to end and they are literally just going to disintegrate on site.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I say this with a lot of compassion because I'm absolutely someone who has certain tendencies.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: I like things to be a certain way sometimes.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: I have definitely endured the desire to want to control my outcomes or how my life is going.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of that desire for control is actually rooted in fear, and it's not rooted in trust of a greater plan, of a higher path, of a force that is beyond yourself being able to actually take care of you, even when things do not feel like they are working out.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: So the central theme behind why you don't feel like you can just release control is because something inside of you feels absolutely terrified when it thinks about surrendering to the what-ifs.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: And this is a particularly pertinent thing when you are very attached to a certain outcome or a certain way of being.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: For example, a relationship or a certain kind of job or a certain career field.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: You might be, let's just let's just go with the job example.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: You might be in a career where you feel like this is like the career that you have to be in.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: This is what you have built your success in.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: This is where everything seems to have worked out so far.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: You have financial stability, you have this and that working out for you, but at the same time, you kind of hate it.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: You've grown to hate it, it's just not working out anymore.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: And even though there are so many reasons on paper why you should probably keep this job, a part of you just keeps screaming at you that you should leave.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: You need to leave.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: This is not gonna work out.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of people in this scenario would probably just stay exactly where they are, stay in the job, endure the discomfort, like the kind of a low grade but persistent level discomfort of being somewhere that they know is not entirely where they want to be, but it's kind of good enough, so they're not gonna change.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: They would endure that discomfort so that they can keep the idea of having a sense of control over their stability, their life, and the external pressures of how they think things should be working out.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: The other side of this coin that is not rooted in fear would be to trust the reason why they are feeling so misaligned at this job and this example is because it is not where they are supposed to be anymore.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: And this is a key, a key point, a key turning point for a lot of people enduring this kind of experience of wanting to grip the reins and stay in control and not move and not change anything.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: Because at this point, this is where you have to either decide you are going to trust that it's happening this way, you don't feel good, you don't feel aligned because something better is out there, or it's happening, and that means that whatever is coming next is going to be worse than what you have right now, or the discomfort that you have to experience if you were to leave the job, try to find something different, is going to be so not worth the cost of you enduring the kind of discomfort or uncertainty and the lack of control over your situation.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: Now, there's always going to be factors that you can control, but I think a lot of stress comes from people trying to control factors that they quite simply cannot control.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like, for example, you are always in control over yourself, your own thoughts, your own experience of life, what you choose to believe, your perception of things.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like you can control yourself and your own emotional state, especially in terms of how you may or may not be taking that out on other people.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: And you can control that controlling your mindset, controlling your perceptions in that way is something that can actually create a lot of safety and structure within your own body, within yourself internally, that then allows you to feel a lot safer, trusting a greater plan, trusting that things are working out for for you and things are not happening to you.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like everything that's happening is for you.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like you're a victim and things are happening to you.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: But that level of self-trust and intrinsic sourcing of safety is something that a lot of us were not taught.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of our upbringings and our childhood and just how things have been for a lot of people, even Gen Z and beyond like everyone, I don't even know.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like Gen Alpha is next, and beta maybe.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: After Gen Z, everyone else is just an infant to me.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: But, anyways, no matter who you are, no matter how perfect your childhood was, you have had experiences that have influenced how you perceive the world and how you perceive yourself.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: Your subconscious mind is programmed literally by the time that you are like five to seven years old, with like very baseline kind of programming for how you like how you think you best receive love, like what you have to do to receive love, to receive safety, to be accepted.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how do I find love, warmth, safety, and belonging sometimes as people pleasing, sometimes it's by being super hyper-vigilant and always kind of catering your responses and catering your behavior towards not wanting to displease your parents or whatever other authority figure so that you can stay safe, so that they don't get sad.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: These this this kind of programming and this experience, these experiences in childhood genuinely shape your perception of what feels safe for you, literally for like the rest the rest of your like your life, like into adulthood.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, your subconscious mind is always something that is malleable.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: Neuroplasticity is a real thing, the ability to change your brain chemistry and change how it's wired through repeated actions and intention behind wanting to change that for insert whatever beliefs.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: That's always going to be a thing.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: But my whole point here is that a lot of people have these baseline systems that they're operating from that are causing them to be more naturally inclined to choose the option where they are going to feel fearful of releasing control because their brain, their body, at some point in their life learned that if they are not in control of their circumstances, of everything that's going on, that means that they are unsafe.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: And what do we know about the brain?
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: If our brain feels unsafe, it is going to do everything in its power to get you to not do the thing that does not make you feel safe.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: Because on a primal level, on a very baseline primal level that no human can just turn off, we are wired for safety.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: We are wired to make your brain is wired to make sure that you do not die.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: No matter what.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: And what's so ironic about that, well not ironic, but it is just it's funny to me to talk about the brain and our primal perceptions and how much it influences us because it sounds ridiculous to say that a part of your brain genuinely thinks that it's gonna die if you release control.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like it thinks that you might die because you're gonna experience something that is in the unknown, and since it does not have data to map what's gonna happen in the unknown, that means that the worst case scenario thing could happen and you could be in danger.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: Therefore, it's going to avoid that at literally all costs.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: And this comes back to the key point that we have when we get to this point of the job example where you know you're uncomfortable, you notice that, you acknowledge it, and the options that are laid out in front of you are either to leave the job, pursue something new, trust that there is going to be a path and steps laid out for you, even if it's by giving you breadcrumbs, there's going to be a path that's laid out for you that is leading you to a better, more aligned place than where you are right now.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: You can either trust that, or at the same turning point, the other side of it is you choose not to trust that and you choose to shrink back and not change and stay in this illusion of control over your circumstances and your life because you feel a lot of fear towards the unknown.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: So at this clear turning point where you can either choose trust or you can choose fear, it's very easy to logically say, yeah, of course, it always makes sense to choose trust.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: It makes sense to say that, you know, every time that something feels like it's not working out, it's actually working out in my favor.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: It just doesn't feel like it necessarily at the time, but everything that happens to you is so that you can get to a better place than where you are right now.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I can promise you that it is not going to feel like that when you're going through it.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: It is not going to feel like rainbows and butterflies when you're going through a big transformation or anything that makes you feel like you are out of control over some set of circumstances in your life where you feel like those circumstances that you are trying to control are very deeply attached to your safety.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like that is not going to feel good to any part of your brain or your subconscious mind.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where we have to have the awareness of the different voices of the mind and the fact that we do, in fact, have this primal survival programming in our brains that is telling us that anything that is in the unknown, anything that is associated with fear, is something that we must avoid.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: And the awareness behind this is what allows us to actually overcome that fear because on the other side of it, the other side of the two polarities at this turning point where you can either trust or fear, is the trust.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: And every time that you actually release control and you trust that something better is coming for me because I am releasing control and I'm releasing my attachment to these outcomes and the fact that my life has to be this specific way and this certain thing, and I have to stay at this job and I have to stay in this relationship or I have to stay in this thing because that means I am safe.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: That is associated with stability.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: When you release that kind of attachment, you actually open yourself up to the possibilities that things can get even better for you, that things can feel more aligned, that you can feel more happy.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: But if you never even open yourself up to the possibility of that being a reality, I can promise you you are never going to experience it.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: And that is where a lot of people get stuck.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: That is where I see a lot of people, on a general sense, just speaking to society, will end up working a job that they subtly hate for however many decades.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: And then I don't know, they'll they'll stay in a relationship they don't like, they'll stay in a situation that they know is not for them, they know is not comfortable, but it feels so much better to your brain on a short-term scenario to just stay in this sense of comfort and this sense of security based on staying in the the known when there's so much more available for you outside in the unknown, but obviously you will never be able to experience that unless you actually open yourself up to being able to get there.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: But the the path from going from the known to the unknown is where a lot of people cling on to the sense of control.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: And as I said multiple times, the sense of control is very deeply rooted with the sense of safety, which is very connected to our brains and our primal perception of what is allowing us to stay alive and stay safe.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: So, where do we go from here?
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: Having this perception and this understanding.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, the main thing that you have to consider is the fact that having simply just having awareness that these are the thought processes happening in your brain is something that is automatically going to give your ego and the logical side of your mind relief in knowing that, like, okay, yes, I feel fear right now.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, the thought of leaving this job is really scary.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: And also, it is true that it feels scary because it's in the unknown, therefore, that doesn't actually mean that I am actually in danger just because I feel fear.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that is the key point and the key power behind having this awareness of your mind and the rhythms and the programming that shapes it.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you cannot rationalize to yourself, like, hey, I'm feeling this fear.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of actually listening to the fear or basing all of my actions on the sense of fear, I actually realize that just because I feel feared, that does not mean that I'm doing something wrong.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: And that does not mean that something unsafe lies, whatever is in the unknown that is causing me fear.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: Do you see what I'm saying here?
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like that clear perception is something that brings you so much of a sense of empowerment over your own life that I think it's crazy that we're just not taught enough of this.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: We are not taught enough of this on a society-wide scale.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like, whether it's in school or whether it's just like however else we teach people, I don't even know what else is school, but like I feel like more people really need to be talking about how the brain works and how this psychology and this primal programming truly influences your life because it literally shapes how you make decisions.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: It shapes how your entire life might end up looking.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like the example of people who just stay in jobs that they hate or stay in situations that they hate.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: I fe I really truly do feel like people would feel so much more empowered over the ability to change their life to be more in a way that actually brings them happiness if they had this understanding and this knowing and this awareness of the fact that fear in my brain and discomfort of change does not actually mean that I need to turn in the other direction.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: It is literally just a survival mechanism in my brain, and it is not necessarily absolute truth.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like anyone, if I lay out what I just laid out here, if I say to them, logically speaking, if you had to send an email to your boss saying that you don't want to work at this company anymore, like, are you going to die?
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: You would say, Oh my god, it's ridiculous.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely not.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: But guess what?
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: To your brain, the fear surrounding that, the sense of the unknown, the lack of control, the sense of the potential for like your stability or your perception to be changed, is something that is so far outside of what is known and what is comfortable to you that it can literally trigger the same response in your brain where your brain is like, oh my gosh, I literally could die.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: You see what I'm saying here, and why the awareness is so important?
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like it is literally monumental in this whole process, especially when it comes to releasing control, which allows you to live a happier, better version of your life when you actually learn how to master this process.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: I hope that this is resonating with you guys because this information is it literally is just like it is the crux of what actually allowed me to have way more of a sense of like stability and peace, and honestly, like the balls that actually changed my life when I was, in fact, working an internship, so different than a normal job that you've been at for years, but I was working an internship that I was literally so miserable at, like so miserable.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: It had nothing to do with the company, it was just work that was not exactly the most enthralling, and I was inside an office eight hours a day, five days a week with seeing the sunshine for like I don't know, 10-15 minutes on my lunch break.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if I have to if I ever had to live that version of life, like I in like in my future, like that's not how my job is right now, but if I had to go back to that, I just simply would not, like, I could absolutely never.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: But back in those days, you know, two years ago, when I was working this job and I was going through the whole shift in my career or what I thought I wanted to do, and going to grad school, deferring grad school, like completely pivoting career fields.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like when I was going through that, if I I really do feel that if I did not have this kind of awareness and even just like a slightly deeper understanding of how our brains work and why things feel so uncomfortable, or why people stay in like misaligned situations, I might not have actually had the courage to leave the job that I was at, which then had me end up in a career in a field at a job that brings me so much life and passion and joy and purpose and freedom and peace that like I never could have imagined that it was gonna work out this way if I were trying to control every little detail and hang on to the the illusion of stability that I thought that I had if I was quote unquote following the right path and staying at the internship and going to grad school, even though I knew I knew that it was not for me.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: It was not for me.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: So this awareness is a really powerful thing, and if I could literally freaking spread this on the rooftops and scream it for every single mountaintop in the world, I would.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: Honestly, maybe that this will become a more central theme of like the work that I do and the message that I share with people, but at the same time, side tangent, I like I have way too many interests and things I feel like I want or need to talk about to narrow it down sometimes, but not the point.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: Moving forwards.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: On a more positive note, when it comes to releasing control, as I just described with my job situation and the internship and grad school and the whole career shift and everything, this is a good example in a literal case study from my real life where I actively released control over how I thought things were supposed to work out.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: I thought that what I wanted was to follow the path that everyone else wanted for me and to be a good little obedient child student engineer and follow the corporate lifestyle path and work the mechanical engineering job and sit in an office for the rest of my life and make everyone else around me happy while costing myself my entire sanity and happiness.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like I thought that what I should do, what I was supposed to do, was to follow this path that was so clearly laid out for me.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: Because from literally freaking birth, it feels like, we are told that the only path to stability and happiness is to go to school for however many years of your life, you know, 16 years of your life, including college, I guess.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, whatever.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: We'll round up.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: But go to school for 16, however many years of your life, and figure out what you want to major in at in college, like if you do choose to go to college, figure out what you want to major in and stay in that career field for the entire rest of your life after you graduate, get a job immediately, find a stable job, climb the ladder, do all the things like X, Y, Z, raise a family, have the kids, and then retire when you're 65 and enjoy your life for, I don't know, maybe like two decades.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's that's the picture that we have inherited from generations prior of what brings stability and what brings happiness.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: Therefore, we think that this is like the right thing to do.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_00: I thought this was kind of, you know, the path that my parents would want for me because it is absolutely true that there is stability to be had in going on that path and following the more quote unquote traditional, you know, cookie-cutter lifestyle per se.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: And this is also not to say that raising a family going to college, having a job, raising a family is something that's like, oh my god, this is so like corporate core, and you're just living your entire life just to follow the societal structure.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like, not what I mean.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_00: So many people find happiness in this sort of working arrangement, me included.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: But I bring this up to say that I thought that what I what I thought I wanted was to match the description of life that everyone else wanted me to live, the the version of stability, you know, from an outside perspective, I had a good job, like it paid well, I was doing the right things, I had the grad school plan, and my main point of contention.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: With the kind of quote unquote cookie-cutter lifestyle, there's nothing wrong with it as long as you are not succumbing to fitting into these structures and standards for yourself that actually make you miserable, solely just to say that you're quote unquote like living life in the right way or following the right path or doing the right thing.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like even the job that I'm at now, you could say that I'm in the quote-unquote cookie cutter lifestyle because I went to college, got my degree, I'm working in a field related to my degree, and I'm, you know, growing up through my 20s, and I want to, you know, in the future raise a family, have children, like provide them a life of stability, like the whole classic American dream kind of thing.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_00: But the difference for me here is that I did not let myself stay attached to this idea that it was safer for me to be in control of other people's perceptions of me than for me to take the leap, do something different, and actually listen to my intuition and to the nudges within myself that told me, not even just through my intuition, but just through my my day-to-day feelings, that I was so fucking miserable and I was not meant to stay there.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_00: That's the main point.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe I was just in a lucky scenario, well, not just, maybe I was in a lucky scenario as well because I have said before that I'm so happy that I did not like that job so much because I feel like if I was in that kind of low-grade sense of discomfort where I was like, oh, like maybe I could endure this, then maybe I would have.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_00: Nonetheless, I have seen the other side of what it means to actually trust instead of going into the fear when it comes to wanting to make a big life transition, and it has ended like it has ended up with me being in a better situation than I ever could have gotten on my own if I were to stay in fear or try to control every single moment, every single second of how my career and my life was going to look.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_00: So you see the point of this?
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_00: What you think you want, what you think is making you happy, what you think you should be settling for, is not always what you actually need and what you're actually meant for.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_00: I truly believe with my situation, the way it worked out with my job and switching career fields, like this is exactly where I was meant to be.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like doing the work that I do, even the fact that I started posting on social media and sharing my voice, like in this kind of void period, in very much so a time where I felt like I did not have control over my life circumstances or getting a job or figuring out the shift in my work.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like when I was going through that time, my postgrad despair era, that was when I first decided to post on social media, and that might not have happened for who knows how long if I did not go through that life period.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_00: But to use this example further, what you think you want versus what you need are often two very different things.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_00: And a part of me thought that I wanted the stability and the safety and the reassurance that came from listening to what everyone else outside of me would want from me and what would make them happy and what society expects of all of us to just stay at one job and even if you don't really like it, just accept the stability over being a fool and deciding to completely switch career fields and being unemployed for three months, like I was, between jobs, I will say.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_00: But you will feel this pressure from society to like not do that, to stay in the box, to stay where it's safe, and your brain will happily agree with that.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_00: But nonetheless, what you actually need is often not what your brain, but your primal brain wants you to do.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_00: And this can even work out where a lot of the times you will be in a situation or you will have something come into your life where you're like, Yes, this is what I thought I wanted, like this is exactly what I was wishing for.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_00: And something will happen, things will go awry.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_00: Might not be right away, but things will get messed up, something will change, something will be different, and you will literally want to be like, What the fuck?
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_00: I thought this is what I wanted.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_00: I thought this what I was this is what I was supposed to do.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_00: Why isn't it working out this way?
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_00: And again, I promise you, every single time that that's happening, every single time that it feels like, oh my god, why is nothing working out?
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why isn't it working out how I thought I wanted it to?
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_00: It is because something better is coming for you.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_00: Something better is on its way.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: I promise.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_00: We are just impatient and we don't always like to wait or to sit in the discomfort of the uncertainty and to not have control.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_00: But I promise you, I promise you, I'm speaking from experience here, I promise you it always turns out better than you could have imagined.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_00: This has happened in like three major areas of my life.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_00: One being my boyfriend, two, being where I ended up living, and like the miracle of me freaking calling the exact day that like there was an opening, and three, probably the most significant to my day-to-day life, or like where I spend a lot of my time, obviously, is my job.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_00: In this postgrad despair era, as I previously discussed, where I left the internship and I decided I'm not gonna go back, even though it was like a tentative, maybe like I'll go until I go to grad school or something.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_00: But I decide I'm not gonna go back, I'm completely switching my career field, I am pivoting, I'm doing the thing.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_00: In that period of time that I was very much so in this liminal space where I felt very out of control over my circumstances when it comes to actually getting a job.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_00: I found somewhere the first place I applied to looked like the dream, looked like exactly the kind of job that I wanted in the exact field and the exact kind of applications.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like it looks like exactly what I was hoping for.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_00: I applied.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: Literally, this was I think it was the like I said, the first job I applied to in this whole big career switch, which was like a really freaking scary thing for me, especially only a few months out of college when like all my classmates are in their full-time jobs and working as engineers, and here I am fucking randomly unemployed because I completely switched and changed my mind.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_00: But, anyways, first job I applied to, thought it was like the B's and E's, the exact place that I wanted to be.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_00: I heard back from them within the day, like within the next day, scheduled a phone interview, got an in-person interview the week after that, and then I did not hear back from them for literally like a month.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_00: And it was kind of whiplash because I this is a perfect example of I thought that I wanted this job.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like I thought that this was like the perfect thing for me, like this was working out.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_00: There's actually hope.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna get a job, like I'm not just gonna be unemployed and incapable of switching career fields.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like, wow, this is actually working out for me.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this is exactly what I want.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I want this job so bad.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_00: This seems like it's perfect for me.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, like I said, didn't hear back for like weeks after the interview.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like, they it everything seemed good, everything seemed great, but they were just taking a long time to answer.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I followed up a few times, and they were still just like, hey, like we're just really backed up right now, or just behind.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like, they're they weren't, I wasn't getting ghosted.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_00: So, in these few weeks where I had no control over when they were gonna get back to me, or if other jobs were gonna get back to me, or if I was gonna find somewhere that was better, if I they didn't get back to me, like I felt very uncomfortable.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_00: I felt very stretched, and still I kept taking aligned action and applying to more jobs.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_00: And in this period, in these few weeks, that I felt like peak discomfort, like the peak, peak discomfort where I actually made the first YouTube video on my channel.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_00: I actually ended up getting the job that I have now.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_00: And this job that I have, mind you, I got the um what's it called?
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like they gave me the offer on like the day before that first company that I thought that I really wanted to work at, ended up getting back to me and also giving me an offer.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_00: So insane timing, but the whole point is that this job, this first job that I thought was like the perfect one that I absolutely wanted, pales in comparison to the job that I actually ended up getting after taking the aligned action and going through this period of discomfort where I was like, what the fuck?
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_00: Why isn't it coming?
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why am I not hearing back sooner?
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_00: What is going on?
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_00: I ended up finding a job that was like way better than the first one that I thought that I wanted, and it checked off like so many boxes, even more than ones that I thought were boxes for me.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like, it's actually insane just how it worked out so well.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_00: And it speaks to the fact that what I thought that I wanted was not what I actually needed, and in order to get there, I had to sit through the discomfort of being in the unknown, lacking control, and not being able to have any kind of perception over when are things actually gonna stick and work out for me.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_00: But this is the beautiful thing about releasing control and detaching from certain outcomes and feeling like things have to look a certain way in your life, whether it's been like it's been the same for years or whether it's short term, any kind of attachment to life has to be this certain way, or this part of my life has to look this certain way, or can't change it all, is something that often only causes you more stress than what you would get if you actually just detach from it and allow yourself to again trust in a greater plan, a higher power, God, whatever aligns with what you believe in.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_00: Trust that there is a higher divine intelligence that is shaping your life, that is guiding you, that is helping you, that is a benevolent force that wishes to see you succeed, like trusting that anything that is actually meant to be in your life, meant to stay in your life, meant to last the test of time, whatever, is going to bring you peace and happiness.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_00: And if something does not last, something feels really off, something doesn't work out, it is because something better is always coming.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_00: As I said before, when you try to control the outcome, when you try to latch on to this idea of like things have to be a certain way, you completely cut yourself off from even the possibility of there being a better situation out there for you.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like you are actively limiting what your brain is scanning for, what your brain is looking for and identifying, because you are only keeping yourself within the limits of what is known to you.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_00: And as we talked about before, so much more happiness, alignment, peace comes from stepping outside of your comfort zone and expanding beyond what you know and what's familiar.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_00: But we have to go through this period of not being in control and acknowledging that we have fear, but that we don't have to listen to it in order to actually get to that point and be in the unknown.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_00: And it's actually a really healing thing if you just like take a second and just sit with like just completely detaching from all outcomes, all results, all like everything you thought that like anything that you feel super attached to, there is a great sense of freedom and almost like a big release of pressure on an internal level when you allow yourself to detach from these outcomes and to just let things come and go as they will.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not saying to be passive and to not take aligned action or to put yourself in situations that are more advantageous for the life or the things that you want.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'm saying that there's absolutely a degree of balance that's required when it comes to the control that you have and balancing when you feel like you have to be in control over something versus when you can actually just release.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I have honestly been thinking about this lately where I've been like questioning and vetting my own thoughts where pretty much anything where I have any kind of idea of like, oh, things have to be this certain way, or my life has to look this certain way.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_00: Things have to be whatever, things should be this way.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_00: I've actually been doing a pretty thorough vetting or kind of just having more of an awareness over my thoughts that sound like that.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_00: Anything where I have just accepted that it's just the standard for me to be in whatever situation that I'm in, or just like living the way that I'm living for forever.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like, when you think about that, when you actually question your thoughts and question the limiting beliefs that you have put on yourself, such as like, oh, I have to stay in this career field because what else am I gonna do?
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like, there's no other options for me, or I have to stay in this relationship, or I have to stay thinking this way, or like it's never gonna change.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_00: When you have these kind of limiting beliefs just fueled through your mind, you are literally just the only thing that's standing in your way of experiencing the freedom and the peace that lies beyond that.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_00: The whole point is that there is there's so much magic, there is so much more abundance, happiness, goodness that lies in the unknown beyond our scope of understanding of like what is familiar to us.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_00: But unless we actually carry the scope of understanding and awareness over all of the factors that influence our ability to lean into discomfort and to go beyond our comfort zone and look past the fears that we experience or acknowledge them, but don't let them control our lives.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like, until we do that, we are never going to be able to free ourselves from kind of the mental prison that we literally create for ourselves just with our own limiting beliefs, and actually be able to experience a life that is way happier, more free.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_00: All the things that I said before.
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna leave you with this one last thing that has always stuck for me, where it's a phrase that has been absolutely proven true over and over and over again in my life.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna say the universe, if you wanna say God, if you want to say whoever the fuck or whatever the fuck you believe in, I don't care, but I'm gonna say the universe.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_00: The universe never says no, it only ever says yes, not right now, or I have something better for you.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_00: And that is pretty much the entire gist of this episode, and why it's so important to learn how to release control and understanding that there is so much more freedom and happiness to be experienced when we learn how to master the ability to endure that kind of discomfort that comes with not feeling in control and lean more into trust than fear, because both fear and faith require you to believe in something that you cannot see.
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_00: So it is your responsibility to pick which one you are going to follow.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you guys for being here and listening to this episode and just being a part of the growing organic community.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_00: I love all you guys, and I hope you're having a fantastic week, fantastic day, whatever it is for you.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_00: Go be your most organic selves, and I will see you in the next one.