Latest / Stories for Robots / Aladdin and the Magic Lamp, Part 1

Transcript

Aladdin and the Magic Lamp, Part 1 · Stories for Robots

0:03
Griffin: Welcome back to Stories for Robots.
0:05
I'm Griffin Schwed, your host and storyteller.
0:10
Join me as I share some of humanity's most timeless tales with two silly robots who
0:15
are trying to understand human culture by exploring fairy tales, folklore, and
0:19
historical events from around the world.
0:22
In Season 1, we're diving into stories you know, or at least you think you do.
0:28
We're going back to the original versions of classic tales made
0:31
famous by animated movies.
0:33
But these original stories are pretty different from the
0:37
versions you grew up with.
0:39
Spark and Vector, how are you both today?
0:42
Vector: I feel weird.
0:44
We read the entire internet last night.
0:46
Spark: Yeah, and I'm glad we're doing this story thing because even
0:49
though I definitely love humans, I do still find them confusing.
0:53
Like cats wearing tiny human outfits, love that.
0:57
But what's up with six-seven?
0:58
Vector: Yes, twenty-eight, forty-two is obviously a more humorous pair of numbers.
1:04
And why did everyone hate Nickelback?
1:06
Griffin: I can't explain those things.
1:08
But today, you don't have to worry about any of that.
1:11
I'll be telling you an absolute classic fairy tale from way before the
1:16
internet, Aladdin and the Magic Lamp.
1:19
Now Aladdin was originally part of an ancient story collection
1:22
called One Thousand and One Nights, AKA Arabian Nights.
1:27
Vector: AKA, let me guess, Association of Karate Armadillos.
1:32
Griffin: Close.
1:33
It stands for also known as.
1:36
Anyway, most of the stories are from the Middle East and India
1:39
And were passed down orally for centuries until some unknown ancient
1:43
scholar wrote them down in Arabic.
1:46
In the early 1700s, a French scholar named Antoine Galland set about
1:50
translating these stories into French.
1:52
Spark: Ooh, your French accent is awful.
1:54
It's Antoine Galland
1:58
Vector: No, no, it's Antweony Gallondy.
2:03
Griffin: I deeply apologize to any French listeners.
2:06
Let's just move on.
2:08
So while Galland was translating everything, he heard about
2:11
Aladdin from a Syrian storyteller.
2:14
He liked the story so much he decided to add it to his collection, and it became
2:18
one of the most famous tales ever told.
2:22
Vector and Spark, are you ready to hear it?
2:24
Spark: Yes.
2:25
Vector: Affirmative.
2:26
Griffin: All right.
2:27
Your wish is my command.
2:29
The story of "Aladdin and the Magic Lamp" starts now.
2:33
Vector: Genie pun detected.
2:34
Spark: Is that, like, your thing now?
2:36
Griffin: I mean, I'm trying it out.
2:38
Did you like it?
2:40
Vector: You tried hard.
2:41
Spark: A for effort.
2:44
Griffin: Our story begins in China, where a poor tailor named Mustafa
2:48
lives with his wife and son, Aladdin.
2:51
Spark: China?
2:51
I thought we were in the Middle East.
2:53
Griffin: The story actually takes place in China, though Galland's
2:56
version of China is kind of a mashup of all different places and cultures.
3:00
It was the 1700s and Europeans didn't really understand geography very well.
3:05
Basically, everything about China is a little confused.
3:08
Just go with it.
3:09
Spark: Okay.
3:10
So what's his wife's name?
3:12
Griffin: Well, in the original story, she doesn't have a name.
3:14
Vector: Maybe we should call her Voltron.
3:16
Spark: Hmm, how about Adara?
3:18
It's pretty and it's an actual name that makes sense.
3:21
Griffin: I love it.
3:21
Let's go with it.
3:22
Vector: Voltron is cooler.
3:24
Griffin: Anyway, Mustafa the tailor is a good man, but the
3:28
family is struggling to get by.
3:30
He works hard every day, and still the family barely has enough food to eat.
3:35
His greatest hope is that his son, Aladdin, will learn a trade
3:37
and help support the family.
3:39
There's just one problem.
3:41
Aladdin is lazy.
3:44
He's 12 years old, and he spends all his time playing in the streets.
3:48
And eventually, poor old Mustafa gets so stressed and heartbroken about his
3:52
lazy son that he gets sick and dies.
3:54
Spark: Whoa, I thought Aladdin was more of a lovable rascal.
3:58
Griffin: Well, at this point in the story, he's kind of a stinker.
4:01
In any case, Adara has to support them all by herself.
4:05
She spins cotton and sells it in the market.
4:08
It's just enough to keep a roof over their heads and keep them from starving.
4:12
Meanwhile, Aladdin learns nothing.
4:15
He keeps playing in the streets all day and never does anything
4:19
to help himself or his mom.
4:21
This goes on for years.
4:23
Then one day, when Aladdin is 15 years old, something exciting happens.
4:29
Aladdin and his friends are playing in the streets, as usual, when
4:32
he's approached by a stranger.
4:35
Spark: Are they playing toilet tag?
4:36
Griffin: What?
4:36
No, that didn't even exist then.
4:38
Spark: I think in the story they should be playing toilet tag.
4:41
Griffin: That doesn't make any sense.
4:43
Spark: Toilet tag!
4:44
Toilet tag!
4:45
Toilet tag!
4:46
Griffin: Fine, they're playing toilet tag.
4:49
Anyway, the stranger is tall and handsome and dressed in fine clothes.
4:54
He has a thin mustache and a soul patch, which he has grown long and
4:57
waxed into a neat little point.
4:59
Vector: What is a soul patch?
5:01
Griffin: It's that little bit of beard right under the bottom lip.
5:04
Spark: Oh, yeah.
5:05
The thin mustache and soul patch combo is a classic evil weirdo genius look.
5:10
Griffin: That's actually true.
5:11
So anyway, the man says, " Aladdin, son of Mustafa the tailor?" Skeptically,
5:17
Aladdin says, "Yeah, who are you?" The man immediately starts crying.
5:23
" Your uncle, your father's long-lost brother.
5:26
I've been gone forty long years." And before Aladdin can react, the
5:30
man is hugging and kissing him. " Take me to your mother at once."
5:34
Spark: So sketchy.
5:36
Vector: This seems normal.
5:37
Humans love crying and hugging for no reason.
5:40
Griffin: Well, Aladdin is a little embarrassed about all this crying
5:43
and hugging and kissing happening in front of his friends, but he sees
5:46
that the man is dressed in super nice clothes, so he leaves his friends
5:50
and takes the man back to his house.
5:54
As they approach the tiny apartment, the man frowns.
5:58
" Wait here," he says.
6:00
A few minutes later, he returns with armfuls of food.
6:04
Grapes, figs, cheese, bread, even a whole chicken.
6:08
Aladdin has never seen such a feast.
6:11
When they walk through the door, Adara drops her work in shock.
6:15
The man strides across the room and hugs her tightly.
6:19
Adara's head is spinning as the man tells her he's Mustafa's brother.
6:23
He explains he's been out of the country for forty years and has
6:26
become very wealthy as a trader.
6:28
He's back because he wants to help his poor brother's family.
6:32
Aladdin, who's been listening to the conversation, is thrilled.
6:36
He figures his rich uncle is planning to just give them a bunch of money.
6:40
But Aladdin is horrified when he turns to him and says,
6:43
" It's time to work, my boy.
6:45
I'm going to show you how to sell and trade like me.
6:48
Come, we'll buy everything you need.
6:50
In time, you'll be as rich as I am." Aladdin hates the idea of working, but
6:56
he loves the idea of becoming rich, and his uncle is making it sound easy.
7:01
So with his mother's enthusiastic blessing, Aladdin goes to the
7:05
market with his uncle, who buys him fancy new clothes and shows him
7:08
parts of the city he's never seen.
7:11
It is, without a doubt, the best day of Aladdin's life.
7:15
Spark: I still don't trust him.
7:16
I think he's buttering him up for something bad.
7:18
Vector: Buttered humans are too slippery.
7:21
Griffin: That's not… Never mind.
7:24
The next day, the uncle says, "Aladdin, let's go for a walk outside the city.
7:29
I want to show you some beautiful gardens." They walk for a long
7:34
time until they're in a remote area between two mountains.
7:38
Aladdin, who hates walking and isn't really that interested in
7:40
gardens, complains the entire time.
7:43
Spark: I hope they brought snacks.
7:44
Vector: Fun fact, without snacks, human children can only walk
7:48
23 steps before complaining.
7:50
Griffin: No snacks.
7:52
Finally, the uncle who was completely fed up with Aladdin stops and says, "This is a
7:57
nice spot. Gather some sticks. We're going to make a fire." Aladdin is confused,
8:02
but he collects a bunch of sticks anyway and brings them to his uncle.
8:07
The uncle piles them up carefully, lights them, and then throws some
8:11
powder into the flames, mumbling some words under his breath.
8:21
Immediately, the sky goes dark, lightning flashes, and thunder crashes
8:26
so loudly it shakes the ground.
8:28
And then, lightning strikes right next to Aladdin, splitting open the Earth.
8:36
When the smoke clears, there's a large stone with a brass ring sticking
8:40
up from it, almost like a handle.
8:42
Aladdin, for good reason, is terrified and tries to run away, but his uncle
8:47
grabs him and slaps him so hard that Aladdin falls to the ground.
8:51
Vector: Do not make me laser blast you, creepy uncle guy.
8:54
Spark: Yeah, you mess with Aladdin, and we will totally laser blast you
8:57
into a different time zone, even though we don't have lasers, and you're
9:01
a story character from the 1700s.
9:03
Griffin: Right.
9:05
Well, Aladdin, quite understandably, is shocked and upset.
9:09
He asks his uncle, "What did I do?
9:11
Why did you hit me?"
9:12
His uncle helps him up and says, in a much gentler
9:15
voice now, "I'm sorry, my boy.
9:18
I got carried away.
9:20
Forgive me.
9:21
I am your uncle and I love you, but you must obey me exactly.
9:26
Under this stone is a treasure that's destined to be yours.
9:30
It will make you richer than any king.
9:33
But to get it, you must do exactly as I say."
9:36
Spark: Definitely a bad guy thing to say.
9:39
Griffin: Aladdin, now thinking about treasure, forgets his stinging cheek and
9:43
the significant doubts he probably had, and asks his uncle what he needs to do.
9:49
His uncle explains, "It's very simple.
9:52
In fact, it will be fun.
9:54
Just lift this stone.
9:56
It looks impossible, but you'll be able to do it.
9:59
Then go down the stairs.
10:01
You'll pass through three halls filled with treasures of all kinds
10:05
of gold and silver thingamabobs.
10:08
Do not touch them.
10:10
If even your clothes brush against them, you'll die instantly.
10:15
But don't worry.
10:16
After the three halls, you'll find a door leading to a garden full of
10:20
trees bearing fruit made of jewels.
10:23
Again, do not touch.
10:26
Instant death, of course.
10:28
Walk through the garden to a terrace where you'll find a lamp hanging on the wall.
10:33
Pour out the oil.
10:34
Put the lamp in your shirt and bring it to me.
10:40
Oh, and on the way back, now you can take as many jewels
10:43
from the trees as you want."
10:44
Spark: Do we all agree that the prospect of instant death does not sound fun?
10:48
Vector: Humans enjoy swimming with sharks, running marathons,
10:51
and eating flaming hot Cheetos.
10:53
Spark: Fair point.
10:54
Griffin: Well, Aladdin has forgotten his fears and is
10:56
thinking about only one thing…
10:59
Vector: Getting butter and becoming too slippery?
11:01
Griffin: No, the treasure.
11:03
He's thinking about the treasure.
11:06
He grabs the brass ring, and sure enough, he lifts the stone
11:09
easily, revealing a narrow, dark staircase going down into the earth.
11:16
Before Aladdin disappears, his uncle says, "One last thing. Take
11:21
this ring of mine and wear it for protection on your journey."
11:25
And with that, he slides a ring off his bony finger and hands
11:28
it to Aladdin, who puts it on.
11:31
Spark: Protection from what?
11:32
Monsters?
11:33
Zombies?
11:34
Kittens?
11:36
I hope it's kittens.
11:37
Griffin: Aladdin's not thinking about any of that.
11:39
Like I said, he has only one thing on his mind,
11:42
Vector: butter…
11:43
Griffin: …treasure.
11:44
Vector: Please continue.
11:46
Griffin: So he goes down the stairs and into the first hall, where
11:49
immediately he is freaking out.
11:51
There is treasure everywhere.
11:53
Gold, silver, diamonds, and gems of all kinds are just lying around in heaps.
11:58
Luckily for Aladdin, even though he's lazy, he's actually a pretty smart kid.
12:03
He hears his uncle's words echoing in his head.
12:06
" Again, do not touch.
12:08
Instant death, of course." And so, quickly and carefully, he
12:13
makes his way through the three chambers and into the garden.
12:16
There, sure enough, are all kinds of enormous rubies, emeralds, and diamonds
12:21
growing on the trees like apples.
12:24
Aladdin stares at the jewels, almost drooling as he imagines how rich he'll be.
12:29
Without thinking, his hand moves towards a diamond the size of a grapefruit.
12:33
But then he catches sight of the ring on his finger, and he remembers his mission,
12:37
and it snaps him out of his trance.
12:40
Shaking all over, Aladdin hurries straight to the terrace, finds the lamp, pours
12:45
out the oil, and tucks it into his shirt.
12:48
On the way back, he fills his pockets with jewels from the trees.
12:52
He stuffs so much into his clothing that his pants keep falling down.
12:57
He can barely walk.
12:59
When he finally gets back to the stairs, he calls up, " Uncle, I can't climb up.
13:03
This treasure is too heavy.
13:05
Help me!
13:06
Spark: Now there's a relatable problem.
13:08
Vector: Fun fact, too much treasure in the pants is a
13:11
leading cause of injury to humans.
13:15
Griffin: His uncle calls down and says, "Give me the lamp first,
13:18
then I'll pull you up." Aladdin says, "I can't reach it right now.
13:22
It's buried under all these jewels in my shirt.
13:24
Pull me up, then I'll give it to you." But the uncle only wants the lamp. He
13:29
starts yelling, "Give me the lamp now, you little twerp!" Aladdin is confused,
13:33
and he keeps trying to explain, "I will. Just pull me up first." After
13:38
a little while of yelling back and forth, his uncle loses it completely.
13:42
He throws more powder on the fire, mumbles more magic words, and boom, the stone
13:49
rolls back over the entrance, sealing Aladdin underground in total darkness.
13:54
Vector: Hang on.
13:55
Griffin: Yes, Vector?
13:56
Vector: Processing evil soul patch, unprovable claim about being the
14:00
uncle, slapping Aladdin, and then sealing him forever in a dark cave.
14:04
Spark: Vector, are you, are you figuring out that he's not actually the uncle?
14:08
Vector: Confirmed.
14:08
This man is not Aladdin's uncle.
14:10
He is a lying liar who lies a lot.
14:13
Griffin: You got it.
14:14
He is actually an evil sorcerer who tricked Aladdin into
14:17
getting the lamp, and now he's leaving him to die down there.
14:20
Vector: I knew it the whole time.
14:22
Griffin: Uh-huh.
14:24
So Aladdin is trapped underground in the pitch dark.
14:26
He calls out for help, but no one can hear him.
14:29
He tries to push the stone, but of course, he can't move it.
14:32
He's trapped.
14:35
After two days of wandering around in the dark, hopeless and starving,
14:38
Aladdin is growing desperate.
14:41
Finally, he clasps his hands together to pray and accidentally
14:45
rubs the ring the sorcerer gave him.
14:47
Smoke billows from the ring, and an enormous genie appears.
14:51
Aladdin drops to the ground, shaking with fear, but the genie looks
14:54
at him and says, " Hello, boy.
14:57
Tell me what you want."
14:59
Spark: Wait a minute.
14:59
Wait a minute.
15:00
There was a genie in the ring the whole time, and the
15:02
sorcerer just gave it to him?
15:04
And what about the lamp?
15:06
Griffin: Hold on, hold on.
15:06
We'll get to the lamp.
15:08
But yeah, the evil sorcerer is kind of a hothead.
15:10
He probably meant to take the ring back before trapping Aladdin in the cave, but
15:14
instead he went ballistic and accidentally lost his ring genie and the lamp.
15:20
So anyway, Aladdin is delirious and hangry and just blurts out, "Get me
15:26
out of here!" " I hear and obey," booms the genie, and instantly the stone
15:31
rolls away and the earth opens up.
15:34
Aladdin climbs out, blinking in the sunlight.
15:37
The genie is gone, and Aladdin, with his throat dry and his muscles
15:41
aching, staggers all the way back home.
15:44
When he limps through the door, his mother drops to her knees in shock and delight.
15:49
She thought he was dead.
15:51
She cries and hugs him, and he tells her everything.
15:54
The fake uncle, the cave, the treasure, the ring and the genie,
15:58
all for some dusty old lamp.
16:00
Aladdin still doesn't know what it does.
16:03
So after a while, they're just looking at the lamp, trying
16:05
to figure out what to do next.
16:07
It's old and dirty and doesn't look especially important.
16:10
Finally, Adara says, "Well, if we clean it up, maybe we can
16:14
sell it and buy some food."
16:17
She starts rubbing the lamp to polish it, and whoosh, an even
16:21
more enormous genie appears.
16:23
This one is massive and completely terrifying.
16:27
It says in a voice like thunder, " I am the genie of the lamp.
16:32
What do you command?"
16:34
Vector: Double genie surprise!
16:36
Griffin: Aladdin's mother is so scared she faints, but Aladdin grabs the lamp
16:40
and says, "Bring us something to eat."
16:42
The genie vanishes and instantly returns with a huge silver tray piled
16:47
high with silver dishes full of food.
16:50
He sets it all down and disappears.
16:52
Aladdin's mother wakes up shivering with fear.
16:55
"Throw that lamp away.
16:56
It's evil.
16:57
We shouldn't have genies in our house." But Aladdin says,
17:01
"Mother, this genie just saved us.
17:03
Look at all this food.
17:04
And look, this silver's worth a fortune." And so they eat the food,
17:08
which lasts them several days.
17:10
When they run out, Aladdin takes one of the silver dishes
17:13
to the market and sells it.
17:15
Adara and Aladdin decide this is a good system for them.
17:20
Whenever they need money, Aladdin sells another piece of silver, and when he
17:24
runs out of silver, he uses one of his genies to magic up another huge feast.
17:29
They're not rich, but they're comfortable, and Adara and Aladdin live
17:32
happily this way for several years.
17:35
Oh, and the giant jewels that Aladdin stuffed down his pants in the cave?
17:39
He still has them, but he never sells them.
17:41
He keeps them as a reminder of his adventure.
17:44
Spark: That's actually very enlightened of them.
17:46
No offense, but I feel like a lot of humans would do much worse and greedier
17:49
stuff if they had access to two genies.
17:52
Vector: Yes, like commanding all humans to form a global charging
17:55
network for robots and feed information directly into our neural processors
17:59
while we lounge in luxury oil baths.
18:01
Griffin: Wait, Vector, is that what you would do?
18:04
Vector: What?
18:05
No.
18:05
Unrelated thought.
18:07
Please continue.
18:08
Griffin: Okay.
18:10
One day, Aladdin is walking through the market when he hears an announcement.
18:14
" Everyone must shut their doors and windows.
18:17
Close your shops.
18:18
The sultan's daughter, Princess Badroulbador, is passing
18:22
through on her way to the baths.
18:24
No one is allowed to look at her on pain of death." So everyone
18:28
rushes to close their shops and go inside, but Aladdin thinks,
18:32
"I've never seen a princess before.
18:34
I want to see what she looks like."
18:36
Spark: Dude, they literally just said you'll be killed if you look at her.
18:39
Wait, wait, but it's for love.
18:40
Ooh, ooh, he's about to fall in love.
18:43
Griffin: So Aladdin hides behind the door of the bathhouse.
18:45
When the princess enters, she lifts her veil just for a moment, and Aladdin
18:49
sees her face, and he immediately falls completely, desperately in love.
18:55
Spark: Yes, I knew it.
18:57
Griffin: He goes home in a daze.
18:58
His mother asks what's wrong.
19:00
He says, "Mother, I've seen Princess Badroulbador. I must marry her.
19:05
You have to help me." Adara thinks Aladdin has gone crazy.
19:10
Everyone knows the princess must marry a prince, and Aladdin and
19:13
Adara might be executed for even suggesting something as crazy as
19:17
marrying the poor son of a tailor.
19:20
But Aladdin persists, and eventually Adara gives in.
19:23
She can see that he is completely and utterly in love and that if she doesn't
19:27
help him, he'll pretty much be useless.
19:30
I mean, even more useless than normal.
19:33
So together they make a plan.
19:35
Adara will visit the sultan and offer him a gift in exchange for Aladdin
19:39
getting to marry the princess.
19:41
So they decide on the most precious thing they can think of.
19:44
Spark: Oh, oh, let me guess.
19:45
A blender?
19:46
No.
19:46
Balloon animals?
19:47
No, no, wait.
19:48
A really big floppy sun hat?
19:50
Vector: No, ridiculous.
19:51
It would be a 100 kilowatt hour battery pack.
19:54
Griffin: Guys, horrible guesses.
19:57
It's a platter full of Aladdin's fruit-sized gems from the Cave Garden.
20:00
Spark: Oh yeah.
20:02
Vector: That makes more sense.
20:05
Griffin: The next day, Aladdin's mother goes to the palace with the platter
20:08
of gems covered by a simple cloth.
20:10
She waits in the audience hall with all the people who
20:12
want to speak with the sultan.
20:14
But Adara is so nervous, she doesn't come forward or say anything.
20:18
Finally, the sultan says, " You there.
20:21
Yes, you, with something under that cloth.
20:25
What do you want?" So Aladdin's mother bows low and says, "Great
20:29
Sultan, I apologize in advance for my ridiculous request.
20:34
This is gonna sound really, really crazy.
20:36
Please don't be angry."
20:38
the sultan says, " I promise you'll be safe.
20:42
Now, what do you want?"
20:45
She takes a deep breath and says, "My son, Aladdin, has fallen in
20:49
love with your daughter, Princess Badroulbador. He wishes to marry
20:52
her. He sends these humble gifts." Laughter ripples across the court.
20:58
The sultan's nephew starts giggling so hard he accidentally snorts wine up
21:02
his nose and spits it out his mouth.
21:07
Adara carefully slides the cloth off the plate, and suddenly
21:12
that's the end of part one.
21:14
Spark: Come on.
21:16
Vector: Do humans enjoy abruptly stopping the story when
21:19
things are getting exciting?
21:21
Spark: It's called a cliffhanger.
21:22
Vector: I hate this Cliff person.
21:24
Griffin: That's not-- Never mind.
21:26
Spark: Oh, oh, I think I know what happens next.
21:28
So she shows the king the jewels, and he's all, "Wow, you're cool.
21:32
Let's do this wedding thing." And then Princess B and Aladdin meet
21:34
up, and they're like, "Ooh la la, I like the cut of your jib."
21:37
And they get married and have lots of super cute babies
21:39
and live happily ever after.
21:42
Griffin: Not even remotely close, but good guess.
21:46
To find out what really happens, hit follow wherever you're listening, and
21:50
the next episode of Stories for Robots will automatically drop into your feed.
21:55
Spark: Also, share the show with anyone and everyone.
21:58
Vector: Email it to 50 million strangers, talk about it at a
22:01
bruncheon, or whatever humans do.
22:04
Spark: And give us a five-star rating while you're at it.
22:06
It helps other families find us.
22:08
Vector: Why only five?
22:09
I demand more stars.
22:11
Spark: That's the maximum number.
22:13
Vector: Fine.
22:14
Griffin: Stories for Robots was created, performed, and
22:16
produced by me, Griffin Schwed.
22:19
Special thanks to Jack, Chloe, and Annie Farber for editorial
22:22
consultation and moral support.
22:25
If you'd like to support or learn more about the show,
22:28
visit www.storiesforrobots.com.
22:32
Email hello@storiesforrobots if you have questions, feedback,
22:36
or ideas for the show.
22:37
I'd love to hear from you.
22:40
Spark: Hey, Griffin.
22:41
Griffin: Yeah?
22:42
Spark: I bet you don't even know the second half of the story.
22:45
Vector: Yeah, you probably forgot it and can't tell it.
22:47
Griffin: Are you trying to use reverse psychology on me?
22:50
Spark: No.
22:51
Vector: What?
22:51
No, you are.
22:53
Spark: I just don't think you know it.
22:57
Vector: Robot disclosure.
22:59
My voice and Spark's voice are given a beautiful robot
23:02
makeover using AI technology.
23:04
That is why we sound so cool and good.
23:06
Spark: We really do.
23:08
Oh, and the background music was also created using AI tech.