Latest / Authentic Living / Surviving Domestic Violence with Author, Kendra Weenie
Transcript
- 0:01Welcome to authentic living with Roxanne, a place where we have as conversations about
- 0:08things that really matter in our lives.
- 0:11And now here's your host, Roxanne Derhodge.
- 0:36Hi, everyone.
- 0:36It's Roxanne Derhodge.
- 0:37Thanks again for tuning in for authentic living with Roxanne.
- 0:41Today, I have a special guest, Kendra Weenie, Kendra and I, I initially met her brother, who
- 0:49I recently interviewed on the podcast and, Kendra had a has a quite an intriguing path
- 0:55herself, and I asked her to come on.
- 0:57And, share his story with us.
- 1:00So, Kendra, thanks so much for coming on.
- 1:02Thank you for having me.
- 1:04Okay.
- 1:04So I'm gonna tell you a little bit about This is an interesting topic and something that's
- 1:11dear to my heart.
- 1:13Unfortunately, having witnessed it as a child, It's, something that I can relate to.
- 1:19And, Kendra has written a book, called Surviving Domestic violence.
- 1:24And I'm gonna tell you a little bit about the book, and that's what she's gonna be talking
- 1:27about today, predominantly some kind of things that are related to domestic violence and self
- 1:32care.
- 1:32Her book is a memoir that outlines the challenges of breaking out of the
- 1:36intergenerational cycle of violence.
- 1:39She shares a good experience of growing up in poverty in in on Sweetgrass First Nation being
- 1:45raised by single mom and circumstances leading up to her former abusive relationships.
- 1:51She says, shares messages of hope and self care while taking you on her healing journey.
- 1:57I I would like to just kind of talk a little bit about that path, that life kind of took you
- 2:03on and like I said, having, talk to your brother a little bit and spend some time with
- 2:08him.
- 2:08I know a little bit of the story, but I wanna kind of honor your space and and for you to
- 2:12tell me about your path and kind of what things were like for you going up?
- 2:18Yeah.
- 2:18Definitely.
- 2:20So We have me and Kendall have had the opportunity to speak at a few events together
- 2:26where we were asked to go and, share our stories And I usually tell people we we grew up
- 2:34together, but, our experiences were very different.
- 2:41What I mean when I say that is my relationship with my parents was a lot different than his
- 2:47relationship with our parents.
- 2:50I'm the eldest daughter in our family of 4.
- 2:52Kendall's the oldest child in our family.
- 2:55So he was, more, how would you say it favored, I guess, being the eldest and only boy in our
- 3:03family?
- 3:04And because I'm the eldest daughter, a lot of a lot more responsibility was put on me.
- 3:11I didn't have the closest relationship with my mom who was a single parent, unfortunately.
- 3:17So and our dad was, an absent father, you know, to us growing up.
- 3:23And I always thought I was closest my dad out of all my siblings, and I really needed him
- 3:28around growing up.
- 3:29So that really affected me as a child and as a young adult.
- 3:34So I grew up having a lot of anger issues, a lot of resentment towards both my parents, And,
- 3:43that, of course, you know, led to a lot of self esteem issues, I was never exposed to a healthy
- 3:50relationship, so I didn't know what to look for when I started dating at the age of fourteen.
- 3:56And, but the one thing I wanna mention, I also, spend a chapter talking about sports in my book
- 4:03when I became involved in sports at the age of fourteen, it was like my anger management.
- 4:10It was like a really it was a really great form of therapy for me.
- 4:15It was a really good way for me to let out all that anger and frustration that I held towards
- 4:20mostly mostly my parents.
- 4:23And, but around that age, you know, I I remember feeling really just a huge lack of
- 4:31love overall.
- 4:34I was struggling a lot with my mental health I don't I don't actually open up about it a lot
- 4:39in the book, but I've always struggled with anxiety and depression growing up.
- 4:45I just don't talk about detail in my book or even now, like, usually I'll talk about it
- 4:51during, when I go to see my counselor.
- 4:54But not so much with, like the work that I'm doing.
- 4:58So I was having a lot of, you know, mental health issues and, even suicidal thoughts.
- 5:04Like, my thoughts got that dark at that age.
- 5:08And I thought, well, if you know, no one's gonna love me at home.
- 5:13I'm gonna go find a boy to a boy to love me.
- 5:15So I thought finding somebody to love me was the answer to all my problems.
- 5:21That's that's what that's where my mind was at that, vulnerable age.
- 5:27So I started dating with no standards.
- 5:31It was pretty much, you know, boy like me, then then we're going out.
- 5:36And, for 10 years, I was just kinda caught up in this, destructive dating, phase where
- 5:45towards the end of that 10 years, I was attracting the same types of partners.
- 5:51I found myself attracting, guys who were controlling, guys who usually had some kind of
- 5:59addiction, usually it was alcohol, alcoholism, and just really, really, I was caught up in a
- 6:08cycle of toxic relationship because I was drinking at that age too.
- 6:13I drank quite a bit, and usually that's how I would end up meeting my partners, you know, in
- 6:18my in my early twenties.
- 6:21And then by the time I was 24, I graduated from the it's called the ITEP program at the
- 6:27University of Saskatchewan one.
- 6:28So it's a bachelor of education.
- 6:31And I remember this is the last time I, actually you know, kind of went out drinking.
- 6:38I decided to quit after, I became a mom, but So that last night on my graduation night, I
- 6:47decided, oh, well, I'm gonna go out and celebrate with my 2 of my, you know, best
- 6:51friends and, go and meet a new man because I was, I was single at the time, and I was about
- 6:58to repeat another very toxic cycle.
- 7:02And so I go out to the bar and as I'm sure you know and the listeners know, it's not very hard
- 7:08to meet somebody at the bar.
- 7:10It's not very hard, but those are usually the worst kinds of people.
- 7:13You know?
- 7:14So I'm dancing on the dance floor and, It must have been, like, after midnight sometime.
- 7:22And even, like, my memory of that night is quite vague because I had a little bit too much
- 7:29to drink.
- 7:31And I remember seeing this really tall, handsome, black men just outside of my circle
- 7:37of friends that I was dancing with.
- 7:39And what I remember from that night was I I'd never even been attracted to Black men up until
- 7:47this point, but there was just something about him.
- 7:50There was something about him.
- 7:51Well, for one, he was a very handsome, like a very handsome man, very tall, and, I recognized
- 7:58him from, a volleyball tournament, like years prior.
- 8:03So there was a connection there, and I had a a reason to go and talk to him.
- 8:08So I'm actually the one who pursued him and I started dating, like, almost immediately after
- 8:17we met.
- 8:18And I go into a lot more detail in my book about that night, like, from, you know, the
- 8:23little that I remember and what Chris told me.
- 8:26And then, like, after meeting him, getting to know him a little more, I thought I met the guy
- 8:35that I was gonna end up with for the rest of my life.
- 8:38I didn't know anything bad about him.
- 8:42You know, he just seemed so perfect.
- 8:44He was so charming, so funny, like, just Oh my goodness.
- 8:48So many good things.
- 8:50And, because I was caught up in that, all of that goodness, like, that I that I thought I I
- 9:01thought he was the one for me And I was so, like, almost desperate, I guess, to, like, meet
- 9:07somebody that I was gonna end up with for the rest of my life.
- 9:11Because of that, I ignored a lot of a lot of the red flags.
- 9:15I didn't know enough about red flags going into that relationship.
- 9:19So just a couple that I wanna share, the first one was he wouldn't talk about his past.
- 9:25He was twelve years older than me.
- 9:28Or is twelve years old older than me, he would not talk about his past.
- 9:32He obviously had a lot more experience you know, relationships and whatnot, but he
- 9:37wouldn't open up about it.
- 9:39And I kind of justified that by saying to myself, oh, his his exes must have put him
- 9:45through a lot or, you know, making up excuses for him because I, like, fell in love with him
- 9:51right away.
- 9:52Another one was, he I didn't know about his drug addiction, but he was showing signs of
- 10:01withdrawals very early on.
- 10:04He would fall asleep in the middle of the day, like 4 o'clock in the afternoon.
- 10:08You know, and then again, a couple hours later, he'd just fall asleep and take a really quick
- 10:13cat nap.
- 10:14And I was like, what?
- 10:16You know, that that really threw me off guard.
- 10:19And when I asked him about it, he's like, oh, I have narcolepsy.
- 10:24Nurse, you know, and his story sounded so believable.
- 10:29And so as I Oh, you poor thing.
- 10:32You know, like, it just kinda made me love him even more because I thought he was being honest
- 10:37with me.
- 10:38So tons of red flags, you know, early on in our relationship, but, you know, I kinda look past
- 10:47a lot of things, mostly because I was naive.
- 10:49I didn't know, but we just kinda rushed into that relationship moved in together after 2
- 10:56months.
- 10:58By then, I actually found out about his drug addiction, got pregnant after 5 months, And by
- 11:06then, I felt I remember feeling really trapped because I was already being abused emotionally
- 11:15and financially.
- 11:17And I was like, oh, well, this is just his way of, you know, trying to keep me in the
- 11:21relationship.
- 11:22And it was working because I felt like I couldn't leave.
- 11:26And then 8 weeks into my pregnancy was the first the first time he became physical with
- 11:34me.
- 11:35And at that time, we broke up for a couple weeks and I told myself, well, man, I really
- 11:45don't wanna be a single mom.
- 11:47I saw all of the challenges my mom suffered through being a single mother.
- 11:52I did not wanna be a single mom.
- 11:55Secondly, I did not want my child to ring up without a dad.
- 11:59Because I grew up without a dad, and that was very hard on me.
- 12:02I didn't want my child having, you know, the same self esteem issues that I had.
- 12:07And then the the third thing I made this agreement with myself that if he's a good dad,
- 12:14I told myself, if he's a good dad, after our child is born, it'll make up for everything
- 12:20he's put me through up until now.
- 12:22Like, that'll, you know, justify everything.
- 12:25So we got back together, moved back in together, closer to home, in North Battleford,
- 12:31which is like 20 minutes from, my home reserve suite for us.
- 12:36And our little daughter was born on August 9th of 2013.
- 12:42So we named her Kaleya, Kaleya Marie.
- 12:45And as soon as she was born, my whole mentality did.
- 12:51Suddenly, I don't care if my relationship works out with Chris.
- 12:55All I care about is my well-being and Kalea's well-being because I knew that you know, I had
- 13:02a huge responsibility put on me now.
- 13:04And if he wasn't gonna, you know, step up and be a dad, be a good dad and quit his
- 13:09addictions, then I'm I'm out of here kind of thing.
- 13:13So as soon as Kalia was born, I started to pray really hard every day.
- 13:19Either for a way out of the relationship or for Chris to step up and change and you know, be
- 13:26the dad he promised he was gonna be.
- 13:29And, I'm not gonna go into too much detail about, What happened next because I go into a
- 13:35lot of detail in my book, but long story short, my prayers were answered 8 days later.
- 13:41Kalea was only eight days old.
- 13:44And he ended up beating me so severely that I thought I wasn't gonna live past that night.
- 13:54And it was actually prayer that saved my life in that in that moment.
- 14:01And I I just felt, you know, after everything happened after I was able to escape after Kalia
- 14:09was you know, safe and unharmed.
- 14:11I was just so thankful.
- 14:15I just felt so thankful.
- 14:17That I was able to get out of there.
- 14:20And I kinda made this deal with myself again in the back of my head that Obviously, I survived
- 14:28for a reason.
- 14:32There's something you know, it it probably has something to do with what I'm meant to do in
- 14:38life.
- 14:39And I decided the only way that I'm gonna move past this.
- 14:44The only way I'm gonna heal and, you know, move on is if I start taking care of myself.
- 14:49So I started doing that.
- 14:51At first, it wasn't every day, but now it's every day.
- 14:55You know, it took over 6 years to get here.
- 14:58But I started doing a lot of things for self care.
- 15:03So counseling, number 1, I started going at least once a week.
- 15:09I share a lot more in the last chapter, but I'll, I'll share just a few here from, a list
- 15:16that I came up with.
- 15:18I started listening to my body more.
- 15:21I started investing in myself.
- 15:24So spending money on myself, stepping out of my comfort zone, which was so, so, so hard.
- 15:31But, you know, the more I took care of myself, the easier it was.
- 15:35I decided I needed to break that cycle of violence in my family in order to, set a good
- 15:43example Changing the way I viewed things so that I'm not always, playing the victim, you
- 15:51know, taking ownership of my own mistakes because Chris was my decision.
- 15:56You know, I can't put the entire blame on on him or, the circuit circumstances that I grew
- 16:03up with.
- 16:05He was my decision, like entering that relationship was my decision.
- 16:10And Stop I stopped comparing myself to others.
- 16:15That was a huge thing that's really helped to get me to where I am.
- 16:20But the number one thing that I always share with people is the number one thing that I did
- 16:29to, I guess, accelerate my healing journey was to share my story.
- 16:34So the first time I did that was in October of 2 2017 in front of, 500 strangers at a
- 16:42conference.
- 16:44It wasn't really it wasn't really planned, but, I was part of a youth panel and we were asked
- 16:52to share challenges that we've experienced to get to where we are.
- 16:58And I was like, I have to, you know, like, I have to I have to share.
- 17:04So it
- 17:04You know, so clearly, you know, you repeated a lot of patterns.
- 17:09And I think a lot of people to your point when you tell your story, what I see, you know, as a
- 17:16mental health and wellness specialist is that a lot of people like like you said, they replace
- 17:21it.
- 17:21They look at it as, well, you know, he's loving or he appears nice or he doesn't raise voice,
- 17:29those types of things.
- 17:30So it's almost like compensating in your mind because you want things to work so badly, and
- 17:35that's clearly a lot of what you did.
- 17:37Yep.
- 17:39And, you know, that kind of, you know, speaking to the whole kind of cycle you know, when you
- 17:45when you look at where do we learn about relationships?
- 17:48Obviously, our first primary relationship is kind of important.
- 17:52And then we kinda start to, you know, try to go out there and find that love that we were
- 17:56seeking that we didn't get
- 17:57as a child.
- 17:58Exactly.
- 17:59Yep.
- 18:00And it kinda sounds like that that's what you did.
- 18:02Pretty much.
- 18:03Yeah.
- 18:04Yeah.
- 18:04But it's, you know, you you left when your daughter was eight days old.
- 18:10Yeah.
- 18:11That that takes a lot because, obviously, you're, you know, you're still your home loans
- 18:15are still swirling.
- 18:16You know, you've been through such a traumatic events.
- 18:19And, you know, oftentimes what, you know, with with women that are abused, they they sometimes
- 18:25I think the statistic was something as high as thirty five times where calls have been made
- 18:30out to the police before women actually make that step, which is very, very high.
- 18:35Does that make sense?
- 18:36Yep.
- 18:37Right?
- 18:37And then, you know, to finally make that step, like, you've got a baby, you're, you know, all
- 18:42those all those dreams, but then something in you must have clicked that said, okay, Kendra,
- 18:47like, enough is enough.
- 18:49Mhmm.
- 18:51And was it that was it that little face that said, she deserves better?
- 18:57It would yeah.
- 18:57And it was it was pretty much, life or death because I knew that what he was capable of had
- 19:06I stayed.
- 19:08Okay.
- 19:08Yeah.
- 19:10So when you go out and when you talk to, audiences, what's the primary thing that people
- 19:18share with you about abuse.
- 19:20What kind of things do they share?
- 19:25A lot of people well, I've heard women say that, and and it's usually, a secondary source
- 19:33that tells me it's not A lot of times it's not the woman themselves who will, you know, come
- 19:39up and tell me that I didn't even realize, you know, I was in an abusive relief relationship
- 19:45before.
- 19:45Or, you know, I didn't know that I didn't know about red flags either.
- 19:51I get asked quite a bit about red flags
- 19:54So speak to speak to that a little bit more.
- 19:56Like, you gave some examples, but define what a red flag is.
- 20:00For anybody listening, that maybe they're kind of thinking, oh, I don't like my partner
- 20:05sometimes or maybe he he or she's not bad.
- 20:09But those red flags are some key indicators that it's enough for you to explore further.
- 20:15I often say sometimes I'm gonna think something's a red flag.
- 20:17And if we might explore it, we realize, okay.
- 20:20In fact, maybe I'm a little bit, hypervigilance or, super aware, but if the if if the red flag
- 20:27is not a red flag, it kinda bears up.
- 20:29But if it's a red flag, it keeps showing itself.
- 20:32Yep.
- 20:33Yeah.
- 20:33So it's I find that it's little, you know, patterns of behavior that you notice in your
- 20:40your partner, or, you get these gut feelings you know, a lot of times it's you having to
- 20:47listen to your body.
- 20:49So if you have a gut feeling that, your partner might be you know, talking to other women, for
- 20:54example.
- 20:55Usually, your gut is right.
- 20:58I I talk a bit about that in my book too.
- 21:02So the the night, you know, when I was 8 weeks pregnant, I had this gut instinct that my
- 21:09partner was up to no good.
- 21:10So I looked through his phone and I, you know, saw evidence that, he was doing drugs again.
- 21:17You know, so my gut that was my gut telling me that I need to, you know, watch out kind of
- 21:24thing.
- 21:24So always trusting your gut instinct because it's more like more than likely right.
- 21:32A few other red flags would be You know, they seem too good to be true.
- 21:38They're not opening up to you about a lot of things that you ask them, like, about their
- 21:43past, they're short-tempered.
- 21:47If they ever this hasn't happened to me, but I did a little bit of reading up on some red
- 21:53flags.
- 21:53If they ever embarrass you in front of other people, like, especially in public, that's
- 21:59that's a red flag.
- 22:01You know, just any kind of disrespect.
- 22:05If they're jealous, that's another major one.
- 22:07If they're easily jealous.
- 22:09Yeah.
- 22:11So ready, I think to to your points and and what a lot of people do is they kind of negate,
- 22:18like, with with the with that gut instinct, it's really true.
- 22:21We actually have, more nerve cells in our in our gut than we do in our actual brain Right?
- 22:29So that makes sense.
- 22:30So, you know, when we say I have a gut feeling, isn't any wonder.
- 22:34Right?
- 22:34So the with neuroscience now, they're able prove that that we actually get those messages
- 22:38first before it actually gets, to the actual brain.
- 22:42So you started doing certain things to listen to your body, Kendra.
- 22:47What what kind of things did you start to do that helped you get more connected to yourself?
- 22:52Cause, obviously, you've been seeing this from a very, very young age.
- 22:56You learned you learned that your needs didn't matter because your parents were so preoccupied
- 23:00with kind of their lives and their turmoil.
- 23:04So somewhere in there, that little girl said, you know, what I need is not important.
- 23:07So I'm gonna go outside of myself to fulfill my needs.
- 23:10Yep.
- 23:11So how did when what did you start to do to connect it?
- 23:14How did you know you were getting connected to what was really good for Kendra?
- 23:20Oh, man.
- 23:20It took a lot of just trying different things, like trying different things for self care.
- 23:26Mostly it was stuff that were free because, you know, I didn't have a lot of money after
- 23:32becoming a single parent.
- 23:34So counseling counseling, you know, getting that second opinion from a non friend, non
- 23:41family member positive self talk.
- 23:46I started doing every I had to do that every single day.
- 23:49And at first, I, you know, had bake it quite a bit because I was never crying to myself.
- 23:55So, you know, I've saved fake comments positive comments to myself when I looked in the mirror
- 24:00every day.
- 24:02But now it's like, I, I had to practice it every day so that it would kind of just flow
- 24:09naturally, which it does now.
- 24:10You know, I'm a lot kinder to myself now, but it's you have to do it every day.
- 24:15Self care is something you have to do every day.
- 24:19I started going to Reiki.
- 24:21So for those of you who don't, haven't tried Reiki or don't really aren't familiar with it,
- 24:27it's a form of energy healing.
- 24:30So very fortunately, there was a woman that lived on Speedgrass, that I would go to see,
- 24:37you know, every I tried year once a month, but, you know, I couldn't always afford it.
- 24:42And, oh my goodness, like, Reiki really helped me to, just calm my anxiety because I had a
- 24:50really hard time sleeping for the 1st year after leaving.
- 24:54I was filled with so much anxiety.
- 24:58I was in and out of depression and just had a hard time, Keeping calm, calming myself.
- 25:08Some other things I started doing a little later on were I started playing sports again,
- 25:13which really helped to clear my mind, you know, just getting active again.
- 25:17I started painting, which was a huge stress reliever.
- 25:21Like, I'd recommend art therapy to anybody.
- 25:24You don't have to be good at it.
- 25:25It's just it's it's awesome.
- 25:29And actually deliver guided art workshops as part of my, my self care workshops.
- 25:37Pension and trauma release exercises was another thing I started doing about 6 months
- 25:41when Klaya was about six months old.
- 25:44And same thing as Reiki, like, it just completely calms you.
- 25:49And where did where did you learn these exercises?
- 25:53So that one was introduced to me by a couple of old volleyball coaches actually in the North
- 25:59Battleford area.
- 26:01Marie Graw and Jackie Maloney, their certified TRE instructors.
- 26:07So they, you know, invited me out heard about what I went through.
- 26:10What's TRE?
- 26:12TRE
- 26:13stands for tension and trauma, release exercises.
- 26:15Okay.
- 26:16Okay.
- 26:17Yeah.
- 26:18And they're very uncomfortable.
- 26:20Like, you're it's mostly your legs that just kind of shake uncontrollably.
- 26:26You don't really you can't really control, you know, the amount of shaking, but it's like that
- 26:31your body just releases so much, negativity, you know, trauma that you've been through.
- 26:40Your body's kind of releasing it.
- 26:42And everyone's different.
- 26:43Like, everyone is gonna react differently to it, but, yeah, they're I just found it really
- 26:49beneficial.
- 26:51Amazing.
- 26:51Amazing.
- 26:52So I'm gonna assume that someday you're gonna have to tell CALIA, some of the story about why
- 27:02you left for for anybody out there that maybe knows that they have to get out of a situation
- 27:09or whatever.
- 27:10I'm
- 27:10just curious what kind of words would you what would you say to CALIA when she is a bit older?
- 27:16And she starts asking, I'm sure she's already asking questions.
- 27:20Yep.
- 27:20What do you say to her?
- 27:23She asked nonstop when she was four years old.
- 27:27She's 6 a half now and every single day because she would she just really wants a dad and she
- 27:34couldn't understand why, like, her dad, she never even met him.
- 27:39You know?
- 27:39So I sat her down one day, and I told her in a very child friendly way so that she understand.
- 27:46You know what?
- 27:47Your your daddy wasn't very nice to mommy, your daddy hurt mommy.
- 27:52And if we would have stayed, he might have started hurting you too.
- 27:56And she's a very stubborn kid and she's also a visual learner like a lot of other kids.
- 28:05So I kind of thought, well, you know what?
- 28:08I was the same way when I was a kid.
- 28:09I know I was the same way.
- 28:11I was super stubborn.
- 28:12And I was like, well, I don't know how I'm gonna, you know, get through to this kid, get
- 28:17her to understand.
- 28:18So I was like, okay, I think I have to show her So I showed her a picture of what I looked like
- 28:27after Chris had beaten me.
- 28:30And of course, it, it made her upset.
- 28:33And she was, you know, getting upset and and but it took me showing her that for her to
- 28:40understand.
- 28:41And I thought, well, you know what?
- 28:43I have to be honest with her because she's gonna grow up being angry angry with me for
- 28:50with holding that information just like the way that I had anger and resentment towards my
- 28:55parents.
- 28:57So, yeah, just you know, just be honest with your kids in a child friendly way.
- 29:03And that's it.
- 29:03That takes a lot of strength, right, because you wanna protect her, but then again, You
- 29:08don't want her to believe that you're keeping away hair away from her dad Exactly.
- 29:13Without a valid reason.
- 29:15Yes.
- 29:15Gendrick, this is a a very powerful story, you know, because I think so many people struggle,
- 29:21and maybe it's it's not physical, but a lot of emotional relationships and and they stay
- 29:26because they stay for the same reasons.
- 29:27I didn't grow up with a dad.
- 29:29You know, my mom and dad, you know, separated early I I yearned for love, all those things,
- 29:35all the same reasons.
- 29:37And I think of my life story where I kind of repeated the pattern and, where there was not
- 29:43physical abuse, but I made a a limited choice in my partner at 18.
- 29:49And it's it it bur it burrow out in different ways because in my opinion, when you don't work
- 29:53through the issues that you brought up with, what happens is it could gauge a bit
- 29:57differently.
- 29:58And after 25 years of marriage, my my marriage ended also, for the elements of the things that
- 30:04blocked me from seeing what would have made me happy.
- 30:08So, your journey makes a lot of sense.
- 30:10I'm sure a lot of people listening men or women can also relate One words of any now you you do
- 30:17she speaks.
- 30:18She trains.
- 30:19Now we I hear there's art therapy with the self care, which is awesome.
- 30:24Tell people a little bit where they they can do and if they want to to come to one of your
- 30:30workshops or have you speak for their companies where they can get a w.
- 30:34Yeah.
- 30:34So I have a website.
- 30:37It's just my first and last name, kendraweeny.com.
- 30:41That would probably be the best way to reach me because it it connects to my personal email.
- 30:47So, There's that.
- 30:49I'm also on social media, so I have a Facebook page called Kendraweeny speaking and workshops.
- 30:56And then I'm also on Instagram, but again, like, through my website is probably the best
- 31:01way to get ahold of me.
- 31:04Any last words of wisdom for anybody that may be struggling with a decision about leaving?
- 31:09What what would you say to them, Kendra?
- 31:14I would say I'll actually leave off with the message that I usually leave off when I do
- 31:20presentations, and that is everyone on this world is worthy.
- 31:27You are worthy of a good life and you are worthy of healthy love, but you need to start
- 31:32by showing yourself love first.
- 31:35Awesome.
- 31:35Well, thank you so much for your time.
- 31:38My takeaway is that, just to listen.
- 31:42Something very basic, and I think, we get so harried in our lives that we don't slow down.
- 31:49And the gift of presence and mindfulness is something that you can do for yourself really
- 31:55quickly.
- 31:56It doesn't have to be, you know, long extenders, but you can do to ready, to really,
- 32:02whether it's to get out of nature for a walk or to close your eyes and and, listen to what your
- 32:08body is telling you.
- 32:09Just little things that you can do daily.
- 32:12So, again, Kendra, thanks for being here for anyone who needs more information.
- 32:17I'm Roxanne Derhodge a mental health and wellness specialists.
- 32:20And if you wanted to know, you know, whether you are in a healthy relationship, you can
- 32:25connect with me at roxanderhaut.com.
- 32:29Thanks for tuning in to authentic living with Roxanne, creating the space for positive
- 32:34healthy change.
- 32:36Roxanne is a keynote speaker, psychotherapist and coach to work with Roxanne, visit
- 32:42rocksandurhaj.com/blueprint.
- 32:46We'll see you next time.
- 32:48On authentic living with Roxanne.