Latest / WOC and Allies: Business and Career Realtalk with Elaine Lou Cartas / 111: How to Effectively Communicate with Different Personality Styles: Why It Takes Practice and How AI Can Help (replay from Warner Center - West Valley Chamber of Commerce)

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111: How to Effectively Communicate with Different Personality Styles: Why It Takes Practice and How AI Can Help (replay from Warner Center - West Valley Chamber of Commerce) · WOC and Allies: Business and Career Realtalk with Elaine Lou Cartas

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Your girl is tired.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_01: This past month I've done three speaking engagements, one with a C-suite group at the Pelkin in Newport Beach.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's this fancy, swanky resort where I worked with the C-suite team on leadership and communication skills.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: Second, led a talk with the West Valley Warner Center Chamber of Commerce on Clarity.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_01: And recently, third, I facilitated a retreat at the Lido House in Newport Beach with API government affair executives from Intuit, Coca-Cola, Toro, Edison, Helvet, Kaiser Permanente, and East West Bank, to name a few.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I know all three speaking gigs, they came to me, obviously, each one having their own individualized goals and challenges that they wanted to be coached on.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: While at the same time, all three had something in common.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: And it's been a theme a lot in my coaching.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_01: So often people think, oh, I need more money, I need more time.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_01: But actually, the challenge that I coached all of them on is how to lead, manage, and communicate with different personality styles.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I challenged each group I spoke to on, hey, what if you saw your colleagues from a place of curiosity to understand each person, create a team dashboard, and then practice communicating with each individual and team.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: And you're like, Elaine Waite, I want to know more.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: Don't worry.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: I share more details on how you can effectively communicate and get work done on this replay with the talk I did at the West Valley Warner Center Chamber of Commerce.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: And please note, I will kind of give warning that as a speaker, and if you are a speaker, you'll get me, I am always ready and flexible when things don't go the way I expect.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: For example, to give context, we were outside in a patio.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: It was supposed to be inside, but things change, which is completely fine.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: The great thing is I'm flexible.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_01: We're outside in this patio of a restaurant.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: The spacing wasn't the best to connect with everyone, to do a presentation.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_01: So you'll hear how I adapted, how I honored people, attendees that came who wanted to network with one another and may not just want to hear me talk or be coached.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: And through this replay, you'll learn how I was able to on the spot effectively communicate, knowing what people wanted from the event and letting go of ego that some people just didn't want to hear me speak or coach.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: And that was cool.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: I wasn't upset.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: I was just focused on serving.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_01: So this is a great way to hear it in action.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: All right, let's drop the beat.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, I'm Elaine Lucartas.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a business and career coach for women of color and allies.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: Elaine Weekly awarded me the number one thought leader, and Apple News named me one of the top five business coaches.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: Done doing the most as a woman of color or ally, and you want to create your own definition of success and happiness.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_01: Well, grab your coffee tea or boba and let's do some business and career real talk.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_01: Hi, I'm Elaine.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_01: So I am not a motivational speaker, but I think I'm pretty cool and funny.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_01: The way I like presenting is very interactive.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: I want to make sure all of you get value besides the drinks.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: You're covering the drinks, right?
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_01: Open bar! I'm kidding now.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_01: I understand when it comes to your business and career with goals and challenges, you might be shy to share.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: So this is a way to keep it anonymous.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_01: So I have this paper up here.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_01: On top are the goals, and at the bottom are challenges.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: So if you could write in these post-it papers and stick it in there, I'm gonna see which ones are the most and I'll just coach you through it.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_01: Does that sound good?
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_01: Also, I'm not the only expert here.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: So I share that because there's people who are like financial planners here, accounting.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, there's a lot of experts here, and I think we could just learn from one another.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: Because I think unfortunately, what happened 2020, like post-COVID, is we've been so siloed and we think we're the only ones that have the problems.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: But the reality is we're all fucked up and we could heal together.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not a therapist, by the way, just to be clear.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a coach.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_01: All right, I'm gonna pass these post-it notes and then just please stick it there.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: I want to respect that some of you on a network, totally fine.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna be offended about that.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I know the layout makes it really hard to talk.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I know time is really essential.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: So, what I will do is I will stand here.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: If you want to get direct coaching from me and other people, feel free to come up.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: If you don't want to, I won't be offended.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: So just make the most of how you want to do tonight.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: Does that sound good?
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yes?
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, great.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: Right here.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, thank you.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_05: I'm a member person.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_05: I want to know the what's your problem?
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_05: So, okay, it's not a problem per se.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_05: What's your improve employee happiness?
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so actually, I was talking to you about it.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: Employee happiness.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so a really good template I like using is a team dashboard.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: So, and then come from a place of curiosity with your team members.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: So have like your direct report, your supervisors all in a list, right?
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_01: That's one column.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_01: The second column is what's their goal?
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: So CFOs, finance, marketing, marketing, right?
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: Then what's their KPI?
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: And then what people forget is what's their communication style.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_01: Some people, you could talk to them about personal life, other people don't talk to them about personal life because it's offending, right?
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: And then the other column to add is who do they get along with well with and why.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: But don't come from a place of, oh, they're very clicky, they're best friends, but why?
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: What about them that makes them communicate really well?
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: So then when you approach them about a challenge or an issue, you know how to talk to them about it.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: So if you want that team dashboard, does anyone want that team dashboard?
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: I work on that with my C-suite members, and then it's a constant loop.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_01: So after each meeting, after each water cooler talk, you reflect back what worked, what didn't work, especially with the people that are the most difficult talking to.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_01: So you uh does anyone do sports?
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: Where's my baseball person?
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: So when it comes to people, and then I would love to get your feedback as a coach.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: So he's a former baseball coach, he's a financial advisor for Northwestern.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: I have another financial advisor here.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, there's three.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: All right, you got three.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_01: Four.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_01: All right, nice.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: So you she asked the question how effective the team dashboard is.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_01: So come from a place of curiosity, and each time you connect with a team member, if they're not hitting a goal, and you try a technique of how to communicate with them, see what worked, what did it, and how you could edit it.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like each team member, I kind of have a profile on how I edit it.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_01: We do so much with our clients, but we don't do that with our team members, and that's where we mess up.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_04: For those people who are design marketing, flattery, let's talk about our feelings, design, that's me.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_04: For those people who are the more partner consultant, they do not like to talk about their feelings, they only care about results.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_04: If you say no on any project that's like a not a good thing with them, how would you handle working with people like that who you kind of have to be a little bit more blunt and just kind of direct?
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, but you do want to get closer to them and understand how they work.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_04: How would you navigate that?
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_01: So, before I answer that question, I have CPAs here.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: Where are they?
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so Nicole does marketing, he's creative, very flowery if you can't tell.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: Look at his skin clinique, I believe.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_01: That's what he told me.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: All right, I'm telling you guys what you're all doing.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: He wants to know, okay, I'm flowery, but if I need a goal done, how do I talk to people like you that you don't want me to get to know your personal life?
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: And straight to the point.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_01: But that might not be you, so I don't mean to stereotype CPAs.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: I apologize, I just did that right now.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_03: Are you asking how to navigate someone who's a little more private?
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, you seem more open.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_04: I can just kind of tell.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_04: Like if I die, like I can have a conversation with you.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_04: But I'm talking about director, managing director, people who they do not care about personal feelings, even within their team.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_04: They want to lead and get away.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah, so I think it's always still nice to have a pleasantry, like, hey, how's your day going, or good afternoon, or good morning, and then dive straight in.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_03: But I would respect maybe holding back a little more, just have an initial entry way, like good afternoon, or good morning, how's it going, and then getting more direct to the point.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_03: I recommend doing something called like a summary and then getting the P-Kales with higher-level professionals.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_03: So give them the summary first.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, the goal happened, or the goal, like this is what happened, or this is what I need, and then explain how and why you got there.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_03: Because they're so busy that that's race to the point and then get into the details a little later, or ask them when they're available to schedule 30 minutes or 10 minutes later in the day with that.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_04: I like everything.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_04: They're kind of the type that doesn't like to schedule anything.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_04: And if you reach out and king them and they want your personal cell phone and are not giving that, look for a new channel.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_04: But thankfully, I don't have to work directly with them a lot, but I do like them because I've noticed when I just get on calls and boom, boom, boom, this is how we they love it.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_04: And then when I ask about their team, they don't care.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: I've also noticed, okay, so my boyfriend is an accountant, and I notice when he asks me things, I need to say it in a stern way.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_01: Any, any like, oh, like even like where do you want to have dinner?
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_01: What do you mean you don't know?
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, oh, say it in a second.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like it has to be a stern tone.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_04: Very stupid.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_04: Whereas my team is, hi everybody, how are you?
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_03: Where's I can give you questions?
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_03: So give them a summary and questions because then you're gonna get a response.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_03: That's really helpful.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_03: So being more question forward also forces them to give you a response if you can form it that way.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_03: So do you want me to reach out to someone so directly I can give you a report?
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_03: Someone else, yeah.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_05: Having that back.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_01: Legacy leader.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_01: I know what you're thinking.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_01: Elaine, you have such good stuff here.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: I want more.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_01: So if you want more tips and advice for your business career in life, sign up for my gifts and gifts newsletter at ElaineLew.com forward slash join.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: That's J-O-I-N.
• 10:32
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• 10:36
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• 10:37
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• 10:39
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• 10:43
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• 10:45
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• 10:48
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• 10:53
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• 10:55
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• 11:00
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• 11:04
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• 11:15
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• 11:17
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• 11:29
  SPEAKER_01: That's J-O-I-N.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_01: All right, let's get back to the episode.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_01: And so people, so I realize you guys don't know my background.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_01: Prior to being a coach, I was, I used, thank God I don't, I still vote.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_01: I used to work in political campaigns.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_01: So I was on a flight all the time, flying to DC, Sacramento, and I was also a former fundraiser.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_01: So I raised$12 million in seven years.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_01: So I was around very unique type of people.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_01: You had something you wanted to share.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I was going to mention um, first of all, understanding architects.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_02: So when you understand the way people work, that's one thing to kind of understand that there are different types.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_02: And so when you be sure to fit someone into an architect, that helps.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_02: And then what I like to do, I'm an AI consultant, and but so I use ChatGPT specifically to understand people's personalities.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_02: And when I'm not getting through today, I will engage it and say, hey, I've asked this, I've emailed that, I've text this, and you've got this kind of response or not.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_02: And then I'll use that to kind of help me figure out how I can either communicate, get my meeting, the buy-in, whatever it is, to have it brainstorm ideas to articulate what I want to get through to the client and how I can get them from where they are to where I'm at.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_02: But again, starting with the archetype of how do they even engage and sort of meeting them where they're at.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_02: And of course, if you're doing business with them, you want to focus on why they hired you in the first place.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_02: And start really trying to find out uh what really matters to them and like focus on that, like what really, really matters, and then adjust your conversation to how they interact with that archetype.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_02: ChatGPT helps you understand like they're this, this when they keep saying they hired me for that, but I can't get them to agree to this.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_02: What should I say?
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_02: What can I do?
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_02: What's up?
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_01: I used Chat GPT earlier today because I was talking to like a former Harvard NBA undergrad McKinsey consultant, and so I wrote the email and I knew it was too fluffy.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, hey, write this for a Harvard NBA consultant, make it direct, concise.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_01: So it cut all the things and then an edit it.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_01: But I will also say when it comes to Chat GPT, don't copy and paste it.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_01: Like obviously edit and change it.
• 13:49
  unknown: Right.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_02: And or take it to Claude.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_02: Find what you like.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_02: First of all, say say what you like.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_02: Take a chat GPT, say improve it.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_02: Take that, the Claude, say nickname or human, and by then it should end up with something that you would actually want to say.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_02: Michael, what what's that name of the code?
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_02: So for those of you who don't know, I do like Claude.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_02: Claude is another AI model that is really good at making things sound human versus just completing the task.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's more about making it, you know, you'll notice right away the tone.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_02: Not to mention, you can control the tone.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_02: Like you said, I like to call on if I need to be more stern, make it sound like Gary V is talking to them.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_02: So you can conjure up other talking styles and again by bringing your goals to the equation.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_02: Let me kind of help you get that as well.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_02: But Claw is great for making sound just more human.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_01: Good.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_01: I am glad you got to hear a real life example of how I effectively communicated despite changes that happened that I didn't expect.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_01: I understood being at this chamber, people had one of two goals or both.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_01: One, learn from me, andor two, network with others.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I was being mindful of that.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_01: That's why I was direct and said, hey, if you want to network, cool.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_01: If you want to get coached, come here and let me support you.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_01: Let me tell you, the number of people who came up and complimented my flexibility was a lot.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_01: And for you, I hope you as a leader get to integrate the team dashboard I shared in this episode.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_01: Practice communicating with your team members, clients, and hey, even your partner and family members.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_01: As you heard someone even ask and question, hey, does it even work?
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_01: Well, just like music, sports, writing, and singing, like Celine Dion and Adele.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_01: Sure, they were born with this talent and this gift to sing, but it's about practicing, reflecting, refining each time, hearing feedback from the audience.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I know you're listening to this podcast right now.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_01: You're like Elaine, you're just a natural.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_01: You're confident.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_01: No, I wasn't.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_01: I know it's hard to believe, but I was bullied.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember one situation in high school where I was presenting and I froze midway in that presentation.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_01: I forgot my lines.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_01: I am pretty medium brown toned.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure my face was white.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_01: It was embarrassing.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_01: And after that experience in high school, because we did a lot of presentations in high school, I went to iPoly High shout out.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_01: I practiced in front of a mirror, put my stuffies in front of the mirror, and I spoke.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_01: I played violin in high school.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_01: And at the time, similar to playing violin, practicing songs, I practiced my speeches and conversations now.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_01: It led me to where I am now, speaking at this podcast to you.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_01: So if you enjoyed this episode and learned a lot, do me a favor, leave a five-star rating and review if you feel called to do it.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_01: It would actually mean so much and it would help other leaders like you find out about this podcast.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_01: Two, if you specifically found a lot of value in this episode on how to effectively communicate, hey, don't keep this to yourself.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_01: Don't gatekeep.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_01: Share this one with one or two of your friends who could benefit on how they could communicate better with unique personalities and send them a message.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, I heard this episode.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_01: I know you're going through this at work.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_01: This would help you.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: And third, if you loved hearing how I coached these leaders and you are possibly interested in working with me and helping you and your leadership and your team, then schedule a complimentary coaching session with me at elanelew.com forward slash call.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_01: That's E L A-I-N-E-L-O-U.com forward slash call.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_01: And if you're looking for a speaker or facilitator or MC, feel free to also reach out to me at elanelew.com.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_01: That's my email address.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_01: So it's elaneelew at elanelew.com.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_01: All right, go talk to others.