Latest / Homeschool Insights - Biblical Home Education Inspiration in Under 10 Minutes! / The Homeschool Question Every Parent Must Answer - Rachael Carman
Transcript
- speaker-0: Not only do we need to write our mission, we need to communicate our mission to our children. Yes. So that our children know why we're doing it. In this situation, when you've got a child coming and saying, I want to go to school, you're getting into this and then coming back to your family why and unpacking that. speaker-1: At some point, most homeschool parents have a child that will potentially say, I want to go to school. Like, you know, ⁓ for whatever reason it is, but I want to go to school. And so what do we do as homeschool families who are committed to wanting to homeschool? How do we tackle that? speaker-0: I think you need to consider, and I'm gonna I'm gonna draw a pretty hard, probably unpopular line. I think you need to decide. So what is this about for you as the parents? So if we get to the bottom of it, is it is actually for your student. No, I'm serious. I really want to go. And I wanna go because of whatever reason, whatever reason that you could both probably legit both agree is somewhat legitimate. So it could be friends, it could be. I don't know if people would consider sports legitimate. It could be there's a class I want to take that we can't do it, co-op's not going great, whatever that would be. I think you have to circle back to what is the reason that you as a husband and wife decided to homeschool in the first place. Yes. So what is your why? Mm-hmm. I think that's actually what it comes down to. speaker-1: Think that's so important because people don't they forget, I think sometimes that you actually get to be the parent and you ultimately are making the decision. And that's that's you are a hard line to have there. But I all I think every single homeschool conference I speak at, every single session, I leave the audience with your homework is to write down your why. Why exactly do you homeschool? Because it is in these moments. And I find, I don't know about you, but I do find it's around high school that that starts popping up. They start seeing what peers and what other people are doing. and it feels like it's the whole FOMO, like they fear of missing out. Yeah. Yeah. I don't have as many speaker-0: I think in addition Exactly. And they and they don't. I mean, they they're not gonna have necessarily more friends there than they would at home though. I mean, that's this you're chasing after the win, right? You're chasing something that there's no guarantee of. I think in addition to your encouragement and it's great encouragement to write your why, right? And you need to have a folder that says bad day on it. And you put your mission in the bad day folder. You put any nice words or notes that your children have ever written you, right? ⁓ I love it. In your bad day folder. And you just pack that puppy. And on your worst day, when you're crying and your kids are crying, right, you take out your bad day folder and you remember why you're doing this, right? Not only do we need to write our mission, we need to communicate our mission to our children. Yes. So that our children know why we're doing it. And so in this situation, when you've got a child coming and saying, I want to go to school, and you're daring to engage with them, maybe over multiple days and multiple conversations, I think that would be ideal, which is maybe terrifying to some people, but sometimes it takes that, right? To actually get down to what's really going on and to come back and keep circling around it and keep listening, right? Some kids take a long time to process. And so you're getting into this and then coming back to your family why and unpacking that. And applying that, this is what we do. We believe this is what God's called us to do. This is why we believe He's called us to do this. And at the end of the day, the reality is there are things that parents are called to in home educating their children that frankly children are not going to understand and are probably going to be wildly popular with their kids. But that doesn't mean that it's any less right to do it that way. That is my hardline stance. I love it. Again, I think that you can communicate that and listen to your child and communicate love and care to your child and strategize with your child. I hear you. You're concerned about X, Y, and Z. Let's strategize about some ways that we can meet those needs. Let's strategize some ways that we can get you a pottery class, that we can get you to the next level level in soccer, that we can expand your friend base. Let's strategize a movie night for your friends. Let's talk about ways. to meet these issues. Let's, we're on the same team here. A real key here is to make sure that this issue of going to school does not come between you and your child. It's got to always be you're fighting either back to back with your child, a shared enemy, but you're standing back to back and you're both fighting, right? Or you're fighting shoulder to shoulder facing your inner enemy. But your enemy is never between you. Yes. And it's very easy for us to let any number of things come between us, not just our kids, but our marriage. And we'll talk about that another time. But we've got to make sure that our kids know I see you and I'm on your team. And I've got your back. And you're right. This is a big dog thing. And this is really important to you. And you know what? Since it's important to you, it's important to me. Yeah. Let's let's not leave this. Let's pray about this and let's figure out how we can solve this together. speaker-1: it's it's so powerful because we we did have a dynamic like with that like that with and actually around the same time as you you're talking about yeah it was around that covet time and I think just you know our world even as homeschoolers was narrowing down and so for us we had our son go to another youth group so he was going to two youth groups and right now we actually do that currently both of ⁓ all three of our kids at home they have two youth groups that they're a part of they're great wonderful churches in our area So it just increases that friendship base and just more kids, more quality, awesome kids. We're in a co-op. So we're looking for dynamic because that was kind of at the heart for us and our family. But we had friends who, you know, they're like, Well, my my daughter really wants to have a prom or she wants to go to prom. And so I'm like, Well, let's throw her a prom. Like, you don't have to go to school. So, you know, there's so many creative options out there. So if you peel it back, like speaker-0: The new product. speaker-1: That was so that was it for one of my friends is that that was the reason why her daughter wanted to go to schools because she wanted to go to prom. And so she's like, Well, that's easy. Like we can do we can do prom. So they got all their friends to Yeah. And actually in this case there was another school, like it was ⁓ it was a small Christian school. And so they had some friends there. So they kind of planned to have everybody be a part of it. And so they were able to go and be a part of somebody else's little school dance. Cause really they just wanted to dress up. speaker-0: Come on. speaker-1: And you know, and have the experience. And I I think they almost would be disappointed if they saw like it's not all it's cracked up to be. speaker-0: And I think it's just such a a great opportunity. Everything's always what you make it, right? And so we can make these situations with our kids a moment of just what have we done wrong? And just panic and no, what are you thinking? And do you remember who we are? I mean, I'm Christy Clover, I'm Rachel Carmen. What do you mean? Make it that and right. I mean, I I will never forget Deb Bell, who was one of my heroes, and I'll keep this short, but Deb Bell. speaker-1: Does it? speaker-0: Got a contract to write. She'd been trying to write the book entitled The Ultimate Guide to Homeschooling. She had been putting it in for years, this book idea. And the day she received the book contract for the ultimate guide to homeschooling, her twin sons came to her and told her they wanted to go to school. And she said, the way she told the story, it was just amazing. She said, I'm looking at the package and she goes, My sons had no idea. Yeah. I'm looking at this package, book contract signed here. And I'm looking at my sons. And I'm looking at the book contract, book contract sign here. And I the title, Ultimate Guide to Homeschool. And she's like, is this really happening? Yeah. And and that's, you know, I yes, it's really happening. And she talked about this is an opportunity. And I'm gonna say all the bumps in the road, unemployment, stepping back, graduation, learning challenges, character issues. All it's all an opportunity to build into that relationship, to point them to God, for us to lean into God, to trust Him more. It's all that if we dare to look at it that way. Right. And like I said, the so the ⁓ theme of my life the last few years, intensely, like it's always been the thing, right? But intensely for me the last three years is the sovereignty of God, the sovereignty of God. And even today, I've had a couple of those moments where I'm just like, you know, that's not what I wanted to do. The sovereignty of God. And so I invite you as a homeschool mother to lean into the sovereignty of God. He's got it. He's over it. He sees you. He knows you. He knows your kids. He loves them more than you do. He loves some of the ones you don't even yeah, that. he's got it. He's got it. speaker-1: This episode of Homeschool Insights is brought to you by BJU Press Homeschool, CTC Math, and the Explorer Bible Kids. Visit the show notes to learn more about these excellent resources. And for more encouragement, listen to the Schoolhouse Rocked Podcast at Schoolhouserokt.com.