Latest / Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha / Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just- Disguises of Arrogance 5.29.25
Transcript
- 0:00Yesterday we had a guy who's a guy who believes and carries
- 0:07himself like that, which means he carries up and his words very
- 0:11heavy. He walks slow, he talks slow.
- 0:14He chooses the certain people to talk to and many people not to
- 0:17talk to. He says he's like carried down
- 0:19by lead. That's how heavy the guy is.
- 0:22He gets up out of his chair slowly.
- 0:24He sits down slowly and that's all signs of arrogance, even
- 0:28though you mean, I noticed that he believes he's something
- 0:30special needs to be treated that way.
- 0:32Next person is a person who's very intimidating.
- 0:36People think intimidating is cool.
- 0:39People think intimidating is a display of power and they give
- 0:42you all the rules of how to be. Don't answer everybody.
- 0:44Don't be so easy to everyone. All these things, all that is
- 0:48Bhagava. If someone is difficult,
- 0:50someone's annoying, someone's ought to get a hold of someone's
- 0:53in in that sense because he's, you know, being like, like, you
- 0:56know, out there, someone's can be nasty.
- 0:59You never know what you're going to get when you talk to him.
- 1:01That type, that's a display typically of a degree of
- 1:04arrogance. It's a sense that I need to
- 1:06shake the world so they know who I am.
- 1:09I need to be scary. I can't just be so nice to
- 1:11everybody. I need to have a little bit of a
- 1:13sharp tongue or a sharp line or a line and no one knows how
- 1:17unpredictable they talk to me. Sounds like I'm in a good day
- 1:20and a bad day. All these things are different
- 1:22ways of me planting myself down is a strong, powerful person and
- 1:27making people treat me that way. Again, arrogance, OK.
- 1:31And it's the third guy. The third guy.
- 1:35And it's unbelievable, by the way, how true these examples are
- 1:40and how real they are, how prevalent they are.
- 1:42And people don't realize. You think that you're carrying
- 1:44yourself sharp because you know when people talk to you and they
- 1:47call you, they don't know what they're going to get out of you.
- 1:50You're really just displaying another way of saying I believe
- 1:52it was something special #3 on the list is Yezhke Arke at 236.
- 1:59She arshov beliebo Shikwaruko Kakado, who believes in his
- 2:04heart that he's so special on mohabbat and so honorable.
- 2:08Aichi E Charlie Kavod. She is parisha meno, the Eno
- 2:13Sariko Claude. Now listen to this guy.
- 2:15This guy's a trickster. He believes and he's so special
- 2:20and so deserving of honor. No matter what happens, he's
- 2:24always honored. And there's this ular all the
- 2:27Deval Aziz, masim ke Masai enough in order to show how he
- 2:33feels that he's always a man of honor and he doesn't need people
- 2:37to help him. He does humble things because he
- 2:41believes and he's so special. I got that one time.
- 2:44He does double reverse. He does humble things because he
- 2:48says to himself, I don't need people to respect me.
- 2:53I'm a poor person. Now, a lot of people say that's
- 2:55a very nice trait. It's a sign of confidence, true,
- 2:58but none of you doing that of arrogance.
- 3:00So see the words inside. He's already so great and
- 3:02distinguished and it's impossible for honor to be
- 3:05separated from him. And he has no, absolutely no
- 3:09need for it. And he doesn't need anyone to
- 3:12show it. And therefore he'll perform acts
- 3:14like those of humble people and he'll go to extremes in that
- 3:18area to show I don't care. I'm I'm a nobody, I'll sit in
- 3:23the back, nothing matters to me. Lee Bournemouth Nasir became the
- 3:27ball and more and inside he's full of arrogance saying to
- 3:31himself and he called Kakaram the call Kakarnik, but she quite
- 3:35a need so he look, I would I don't know anymore.
- 3:39The only all I need to do is you know, to forgo and tell people.
- 3:44It doesn't matter to me because I have so much of it already.
- 3:47If this sounds like something you can't understand now, you
- 3:50don't know real arrogance. This is real.
- 3:53It's legit. It's out there.
- 3:55It's part of the world where people are so much thinking
- 3:58about themselves and this mindset and they say to
- 4:00themselves, I think I need so and so to, to invite me.
- 4:05You think I need that person to stand up for me?
- 4:08You think I need them to recognize me.
- 4:11I'm unbelievable already. Now, a lot of times this is a
- 4:16MIDA that flows right into self conference.
- 4:20It's hard to see this is what it is.
- 4:22But sometimes this is actually a person who believes he's so
- 4:25special is above Cavalt. I'll see you next time.
- 4:30Are you ever heard of such a person, Nike?
- 4:32No. No.
- 4:34OK. It's reality.
- 4:35People will sit down. You go with this in the back and
- 4:37they say I don't care about Cavalt.
- 4:39Sometimes you're right, but sometimes you do.
- 4:40The show really can't. Oh, that's another thing.
- 4:42That's the whole thing is they really can't, that's for sure.
- 4:45But you must say and the fourth and final guy over here, I think
- 4:49the 4th Chirotseh Liotta Nircham Harbet is another one.
- 4:57This is a person who measures yesterday tribe who wants to be
- 5:00well liked and wants to be known.
- 5:01And he has every good character trait.
- 5:05His should be his arrogance cause for him to be considered
- 5:11by everyone so and so. He's a good guy.
- 5:14Another guy, he's a good guy. He's so humble.
- 5:18He starts hearing people say this about him.
- 5:21He starts liking the idea of being well known as a good guy.
- 5:25This came to people's heads in a second.
- 5:27So what does he do? He double s down on the good guy
- 5:32way. All right, you like it, You
- 5:34enjoy. Think of, I'll give you an
- 5:36example. Think of kids when they're told
- 5:38that they're goody goodies or not goody goodies.
- 5:39And so you're such a nice kid. And what happens if you ever
- 5:43notice they start to act more that way And like the trait,
- 5:47isn't that a good thing? It is.
- 5:48But now I know a lot of good kids and I know myself when I
- 5:52was a goody goody. And as a kid, the more you hear
- 5:54it and you had that, you're a good kid.
- 5:56You start to live up to your example, to your own
- 5:59description, and now you want to be that way.
- 6:01But now you're overdoing it. You know that with kids, they
- 6:04overdo it. Or now you're making sure that
- 6:07the teacher loves you. Even though this I know it's
- 6:11because I have my some, some of my kids are very wild and some
- 6:13of them are very passive. And the ones that are always
- 6:17goody goodies. The other ones can't stand.
- 6:19Why can't they can't stand when that one's highlighted?
- 6:21It's goody goody because I feel like they're doing it on purpose
- 6:24and they trying to get the the the credit from the parents.
- 6:27Right. You can imagine how with the
- 6:28chosen adults are the exact same way.
- 6:30They just don't show it as much. That is they enjoy being
- 6:35considered. Miss the nice guy.
- 6:37They like it, so they do things that play into him.
- 6:39It's a nice guy in the process. In this example, they're trying
- 6:43to be Mr. Humble. Isn't that the opposite?
- 6:46Is the one before which is the opposite.
- 6:48The first guy said I don't exactly.
- 6:51The first guy said I don't need any credit.
- 6:55I'm good regardless. And that is my that's because
- 6:57I'm so good. That's arrogance and of itself.
- 6:59This person is more than that. I need to be treated and
- 7:03considered so and so and so humble him.
- 7:07I'll never get upset. That guy, he never cares about
- 7:10what people say about him. And in his mind, he's working in
- 7:14this image and working in this image and developing it.
- 7:17And the level of arrogance is to the top.
- 7:20And again, you may not know people this way in your mind,
- 7:23but I'll tell you, you may not realize it, but you know a lot
- 7:26of people this way, people who try to live up or try to build
- 7:30an image of Mr. Nice Guy and really what they're trying to do
- 7:34and they're trying to create a perfect image of themselves.
- 7:38All right, as a degree of arrogance that cannot be
- 7:41limited. This is this is the truth.
- 7:46All right. These are the words.
- 7:51It's not enough for people to praise him for the regular gifts
- 7:54that he has. And let's, let's say what he
- 7:57wants to be considered a person and they're going to pile on
- 8:00more good comments. And they say he's the most
- 8:03humble of all people. And this person is actually
- 8:07arrogant in his humility. Reality, he's arrogant in his
- 8:11humility, like the kid who is not nice in his niceness.
- 8:16He's not really such a good kid. He just loves being called Mr.
- 8:19Good Kid. But you know what happens if
- 8:21there's a competition between him and another kid between
- 8:23who's better, he'll fight tooth and nail to be considered Mr.
- 8:27Nice Kid, right? Well, how do you explain that
- 8:29he's a nice kid? No, he's not.
- 8:30He's a kid who likes to be top. Right now, being nice is being
- 8:34top. If being mean were top, he'd do
- 8:36that too. The same thing is true with this
- 8:38person was an arrogant, humble person.
- 8:41He likes being popular, he likes being well liked, and he knows
- 8:46it's a good move to be seen. Humble people like humble
- 8:49people. But he's sketching his system.
- 8:52Messiah Shame says this doesn't last.
- 8:55It doesn't work out that way. Eventually something comes up
- 9:00where this Mr. Humble cannot stomach his issue and he ends up
- 9:06showing his true colors. Someone gets a mad, someone gets
- 9:10more attention for their humility than he does.
- 9:12And then it comes out. But again, these are the
- 9:14possibilities we're up against. We're up against typical
- 9:18arrogance of cowering ourselves heavy.
- 9:20We're up against arrogance of scaring other people.
- 9:24We're up against someone saying I don't care about anything,
- 9:27kind of arrogance, and someone who says I need to be known as a
- 9:31humble guy, kind of arrogance. These are the medot that are
- 9:35there. They can show up on us at any
- 9:38time and our task is to identify this and to say to myself,
- 9:43humility means I really are not that special.
- 9:49I don't deserve more than anybody else.
- 9:51That's really annoying. Not that I do, but no one knows
- 9:54about it. In my own home, I tell everyone
- 9:56how great I am. All right?
- 9:57Well, not that I'm really the best person in the world, but
- 10:00just I want to carry myself with public humility.
- 10:02Flat out. Clearly, I am not more special
- 10:06than anybody else. Because you've got to the world.
- 10:08Do I have confidence? Sure.
- 10:10To the roof I do. But it doesn't mean I deserve
- 10:13anything more than anyone else. That's emotive.
- 10:16Stop with this.