Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / Why You MUST Advocate For Your Health with Clare Crawley & Michelle Young: Will You Accept This Advice?

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Why You MUST Advocate For Your Health with Clare Crawley & Michelle Young: Will You Accept This Advice? · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This is the almost Famous podcast with iHeartRadio.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: Hi everybody, this is your host Tristas Sutter. I'm here
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: with the almost famous Will you accept this Advice Podcast?
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: And I'm really excited about this. It's just a little
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: mini series that I'm doing right now. Hopefully it'll turn
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: into more, but it's a little miniseries where I'm talking
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: to women that we know and love from Bachelor Nation
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: who have been through different things, experienced different things, or
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: at different seasons of their lives, and they're sharing their
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: advice with us. With me, My gosh, I'm gaining so
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: much knowledge from all of these women. And today I'm
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: really excited because I've got Michelle Young and Claire Crawley,
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: and they have both been through some very significant health
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: battles recently. My heart just goes out to them and
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: their families. They are both newly married, and so I
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: wanted to have them on to talk about going through
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: those health battles, especially in the beginning of a marriage,
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: advocating for yourself, and any advice they can give all
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: of us on how to really manage life with a
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: long term health condition. So I'm really excited to welcome
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: Michelle and Claire to the podcast, Hi, thank you so
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: much for being here today. I know it's just hard
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: please in life to get anything scheduled. I mean, it's
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: just crazy in my world. I know, like just with
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: the three of us, it's just hard. So I really
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: appreciate your time, especially with all that both of you
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: have been going through lately. I'd love to start by
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: having both of you kind of explain to everyone what's
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: going on. You can take the platform and talk to
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: everyone about what you've been experiencing, what it's called, and
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: what it looks like, kind of on a daily basis
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: for everybody. Michelle, if you want to go first.
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, So this all kind of started. Actually, now that
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: I have answers and kind of know a little bit
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: more about what's going on with my body, we can
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: kind of track back the symptoms. And this was happening
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: like as I was filming The Bachelorette like years ago,
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: and it was just kind of building on each other.
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: But so it kind of just all started with my
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: symptoms started to get really bad and I was really lethargic.
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: I was having really bad panic attacks. My blood sugar
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: kept dipping below like an okay number, consistently, like while
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: I was sleeping, and you know that whole thing where
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: you go in and you start trying to look for
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: answers and you get so many different things and go
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: through the whole talking to doctors and some are dismissive
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: or some lead you in this direction, in this direction.
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: So it was back in like November where I ended
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: up posting a little bit about like my symptoms, and
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: through that I was able to find the doctor who
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: I'm with now, and that was like, this is like
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: the doctor that I'm with now is probably like my
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: sixth or seventh doctor I've worked with through the past year.
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: And that's where I was diagnosed with dysodonomia specifically POTS,
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: which is just basically a malfunction in the autonomic nervous system,
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: and it comes with a whole array of symptoms and
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: you can kind of have a range of I specifically
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: struggle with POTS, but there's you know, dysautonomia is an
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: umbrella term, so there's a lot of different disorders underneath
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: there that all have to do with your nervous system
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: and how it malfunctions. And it's not necessarily like a
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: new diagnosis to the science world. But there's not a
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: lot of information on it, so there's a lot of
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: discrepancies of like how can you handle it? How should
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: it be handled? In a lot of different treatments, But
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: there's a lot of us that are still struggling and
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: like don't have help. So it's just been battling with
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: that and finding the right treatment plan and life has
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: looked a lot different from someone who used to run
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: around a lot and bounce from one thing to the next,
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: to you know, being able to get up and even
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: walk to the fridge at times during pretty intense flares
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  Speaker 3: where your body is just kind of really fighting against itself.
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  Speaker 3: And for me, my symptoms really are like extreme lethargy,
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: out of breath as you can probably like hear as
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: I'm speaking at times because I'm working on coming off
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  Speaker 3: of a flare, but dizziness. A lot of people pass out,
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: and it doesn't look the same for one person, but
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  Speaker 3: it's definitely fits into that invisible illness category. So I
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: can look normal and if I'm sitting down a lot
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  Speaker 3: of times, I can like pretend to be normal, but
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  Speaker 3: on the inside, you just really are like fighting and
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: you don't feel great. So it's like you wake up
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: at twenty percent battery and that's what you've got to
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: use to get through the day, and you know, hope.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: For the best.
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: So it's been a learning process and it's definitely given
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: me a lot of perspective. But that's the short explanation
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: of things. Yeah.
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sure you could talk for hours and hours
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: about it with all that you've been through and learned.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: It sounds very similar to what Ryan, my husband, went
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: through and trying to get his diagnosis for lime disease,
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: and very similar in ways to lime disease in that
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: it's different for everybody, like the symptoms are different for everybody.
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: So I'm sure we'll get into it, but I'm wondering
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: if lime was one of the things that they were
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: crossing off the list for you.
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: We'll talk about it.
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, So okay, So Claire, tell us about your topical
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: steroid withdrawal.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: Yes, so, I it's one of those things exactly like
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: Michelle was talking about. Like mine started a right around
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: when I was on the Bachelor or Bachelorette, sorry Bachelorette.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: And that's a whole other topic. I feel like, because
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: something with like fight or flight and your body just
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: constantly having to be in protective mode for yourself that
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: it just depletes you internally more than anybody would ever understand,
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: you know. And so I I have my thoughts on that,
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: but my mine right now I have topical steroids withdrawal.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: I'm on the upswing end of it, but it still
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: is one of those things that I deal with.
• 6:41
  Speaker 4: On a daily, daily basis because while my skin is
• 6:45
  Speaker 4: probably looking better than it was it was, I looked
• 6:48
  Speaker 4: like for probably a good two years, a full on
• 6:53
  Speaker 4: like I had been burned in a fire.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: And not only did it look like that, but it
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: feels like that intern and you can escape your skin.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: You cannot, no matter what you do. There's not a medication,
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: there's not sleep, there's not there is nothing you can do.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: There's no coal plans, there's no sauna, there's nothing. There's
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: no medication there, whether it's a supplement or a pill
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: or anything, there's nothing you can do to escape it.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: And with topical steroid withdrawal, it is one of those
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: things that is still new with doctors kind of like
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: researching it, and I thankfully it recently just got like
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: a medical diagnostic code to be recognized like in the
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: last couple weeks. It's a new thing, which is wow. Yeah,
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: people have been suffering with this forever for such a
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: long time. But it is caused from an over prescribing
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: slash overuse of topical steroids, and so where as with
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: topicaloed stairs, no doctor in my world had ever told
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: me how dangerous they can be and how potent they are,
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: and how if they are used slightly in the wrong
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: space for the wrong amount of time, it can wreck
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: your entire mitochondria. And so what it does is essentially
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: it's caused from overuse of the steroids, overprescribing of it,
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: and then your skin doesn't know how to be skin anymore.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: You don't have a skin barrier, and so anything that
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: would normally not put you into like an allergic reaction
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: does So it's like I used to not be allergic
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: to cats, dogs, or I used to have no allergies.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: My skin was like flawless, right, and then now it's
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: like I go into a room with somebody with tied
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: detergent and like downy as good as it smells like
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: downy beads refresher in my body. I'm out for two
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: weeks and it's like it is something that is so frustrating. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: because now I I went to Thailand because that's how
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: far I had to go to get the proper treatment
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: in one modality. But it's like a combination of things
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: right now for me that's working. But still I'm around
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: one person. I go see a friend that wears Sol
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: Dejaneiro and I'm done for a couple of weeks a month,
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: and it just is crushing, you know. And it's like
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: it's the balance of like do I go to Easter
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: dinner and see everybody I love who is normal?
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: People who risk?
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: You know, it's such a risk, and so I've become
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: such like a hermit. And not only that, it's like
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  Speaker 1: the extra hard thing is being a mom on top
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  Speaker 1: of it, and so throw that up in the mix
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  Speaker 1: and then being a wife and it's just it's one
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  Speaker 1: of those things where it's like the perfect storm. A
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  Speaker 1: lot of the time for healing is very challenging.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: You. Yeah, I'm sure you can relate on very much. Yeah. Oh,
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  Speaker 2: I'm glad we're getting I'm glad I'm getting you two together.
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: Have you connected before?
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  Speaker 1: No?
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: No?
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: No. When I say I'm a hermit, like I fully
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: I actually don't even want to talk to most people
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: on a regular basis because I I don't want somebody
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: to look at me and go like have this pig.
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  Speaker 1: And it's hard for me because this second somebody does,
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: I start crying because I'm like, if only you knew,
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: Like it takes a lot to even hold it together
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  Speaker 1: even still, to like.
• 10:34
  Speaker 5: Have attitude, the energy to explain, yes, yes, the energy
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  Speaker 5: to connect, and it's so hard to even explain sometimes
• 10:43
  Speaker 5: to like just to your friends, so you try and
• 10:45
  Speaker 5: explain what's going on or your you know, extended family,
• 10:48
  Speaker 5: and then to have.
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: To use the energy to explain, it's just it's hard
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: to find.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: Absolutely absolutely, So I feel bad we haven't connected sooner
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: because I have known something's going on with you. I
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: kind of heard, you know, through the great bond of things,
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: that you're struggling. So I wish I could have been
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: here for you sooner too, because I.
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: Can take care of yourself. Girls, anyone's gonna understand somebody
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: who's going through their own health struggles. There is literally
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: no burden. We get it. It's just yeah, it's it's
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: a lot. It's you really just don't understand until you're
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: put in the position to actually, you know, have to
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: heal yourself and how much that takes and how much
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: it everything, like you said, around you controls it. So
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: you could be doing everything in your power to stay
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: healthy or to get back on the correct track, but
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: one little thing can throw it off, and it's something
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: that you don't have control over.
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, and the throw this up in the mix too.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: And I know you can understand this trust with Ryan.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: It's like with a diagnosis that you don't just It's
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: not like diabetes where you get here's insulin and you're
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: gonna be okay. You know, you have to find you know,
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: it's trial and error. It's being the biggest thing in
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: the entire world is being your own advocate, which when
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: you are struggling and you are you are just at
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: your wits end and just at a low low, having
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: to fight for yourself and having to be believed and
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: to be seen and to be understood is just like,
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: oh my god, it's that extra fight new where you're like,
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: I just I want, I will do anything it takes.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: But man, it is testing. You know, it's hard.
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: To know what to believe too, just when you're learning
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: about it yourself you know, honestly never thought I would
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: say this, but like social media can be such a
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: double edged sword. But like, thank goodness for TikTok. Yeah,
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: and there's a lot of times where you can really
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: diagnose yourself with everything, Like you go on you're like, oh,
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: maybe I have that as well. I feel like we've
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: all done that all the boxes, right, but like there
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: is a certain piece of it that people go on
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: and share what they're struggling with and do find other
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: people who are like, Okay, well I went on this path,
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: and they can kind of like set you on the
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: right track to what type of doctor to look at
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: or you know, it's also hard to because people offer
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: all of their advice and you're like, that's not what
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: I'm going through and taking the energy to respond to that. Yeah,
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: you have to really be able to be ready to
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: understand like which energy you're gonna accept and which ones
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: you're like, Nope, not for me. But it's it's allowed
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: me to like understand what was going on enough in
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: my body to then go to the doctor and be
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: able to advocate for it. And then you know that
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: doctor who is like nope, you don't you know, doesn't
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: even like, look your direction. You're able to be like Okay, nope,
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: not for me. Let me try somebody else, and not
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: look at what they're saying as that's correct always because
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: you know, you seem almost like an authority, right like
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: they it's their area of study, it's it's there is
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: supposed to be the expert. But it's so crazy how
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: you can walk in and they can just instantly label you.
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, or not listen to you. That's right,
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: to tell you to go a certain route and you're like, no,
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: that's not what I should be doing. All three of
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: us can talk, I'm sure to Lacal's come out about
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: how many doctors you've seen and the responses, but I
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: think you're touching on one important element, and that is
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: listen to your gut. I mean it's for everything in life,
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: but especially when it comes to advocating for yourself, really
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: listen to your gut. There's millions of doctors out there, right,
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: There's millions of doctors. It can be a very long
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: road to finding the people who are going to treat
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: you how you deserve to be treated and actually listen
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: to you and be a compassionate provider and a knowledgeable
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: provider and someone who has the ideas and the belief
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: that you're going to be able to find something. But
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: when you are dealing with something like lime disease, everything
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: that you guys are dealing with, and it's not a
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: mainstream like diabetes, like you said, condition that people deal with,
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: and it's not just an easy fix like oh, let's
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: test your blood. This is what you've got, this is
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: what I've got to give you, and you're going to
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: be all right. It's not cut and dry. And I
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: hate that that you guys have gone through that because
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: I know firsthand going to all of Ryan's doctor's appointments
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: and advocating for him, because not only did he not
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: have the energy really to talk to the doctors, but also,
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: and I think you're both a little bit like this
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: maybe have a little bit of it in you is
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: the humility, Like he wasn't going to sit in a
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: doctor's office and be like, oh, like complain, do you
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: know what I mean? He wasn't going to be like,
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: I just had this really horrible day where I almost
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: passed out. He's not going to share all of those
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: details because he's such like a strong, strong man that
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: I feel like talking about that kind of stuff is
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: maybe makes him feel even worse like talking about it.
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: So it was good for me, like from a caretaker,
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: to be able to be there in all of his
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: appointments and advocate for him and say, you know what,
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: he's got this brain fog going on. I'm going to
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: fill you in on what actually was happening on those
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: in those moments, and then he can fill in the
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: in the cracks of like the specifics. You know, do
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: you guys have like obviously you have wonderful husbands in
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: Jack and Ryan, You've been married a short time both
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: of you. But do you feel like you have that
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: support and the caretakers who are with you you in
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: your journey and can advocate for you too.
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: Oh? Deeply, deeply. And it's good, I think, I think
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: because they're the ones that when the lights shut out
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: at the end of the day and everybody's gone, like
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: and I'm rocking myself sobbing and snot and just shaking
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: and sweating. Like Ryan would see that every single night
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: for a long time and he just was like like,
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: this is you know, this is so hardcore. That's why
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: I mean when I when I went to Thailand for
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: treatment and was like the end all kind of like
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: I my hail Mary, of like I'm so desperate for
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: healing and to go to the ends of the earth
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: to fix this. When it was it was the hardest
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: decision in life because I have a two year old
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: and my husband and who has, you know, a thirteen
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: hour day job, seven days a week. And it's like,
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: and I'm putting everything on his shoulders. He that's how
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: bad he knows it is that he was like, go
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: for as long as you need to go, for whatever
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: it takes, like go do it, go do it.
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: Amazing, you know.
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: And and it wasn't without Like I mean, I sobbed
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: every day and watched the baby monitor every single hour
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: that she was sleeping, and I was gone.
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: But oh, you watched it from Thailand.
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, don't make you ride.
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: Yes, it's so nice.
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: Wow, it's twelve hours different. It's twelve hours difference. And
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: so when I was awake, she was sleeping, and I
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: literally would just wait for her. I would watch the
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: baby camera like a psycho and just wait for her
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: to I would watch her sleep and make sure she
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: was good and safe and wait for her to wake up,
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: and she knew. She'd be like, Mama's on the camera, mama,
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: and I'd be, oh yeah, because she wakes up so
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: early that I would just talk to her for an
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: hour before Ryan wakes up.
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: And it's so comforting just to be able to have
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: her on the screen right there.
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, be on and she would just wake up.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: So yeah, but it's like we they know, our husbands
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: get it and our partners get it. And thankfully that's why,
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: like I married Ryan. And I'm not saying even like
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: I'm sure you guys can understand. It tests to you.
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: It tests your marriage.
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: It tests every relationship. You have to be so sick
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: and to try to be who you are to be
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: who the person they married, you know, But yeah, it
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: is you know, when you have the right partner, it's
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: in sickness and health. And one thing not to keep talking,
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: but one thing I told Ryan before we got married
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: was I want a partner that if I don't care
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: if you're here for like the good fun, vacation fun
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: stuff like great dime, a dozen type of men. You know. Yeah,
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: And I told him this so long ago, but I
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: was like, I want you, I want to marry the
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: type of man that if I'm sick in the hospital,
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: you are there brushing my hair for me, Like and
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: if if you're not that type of guy, who won't
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: be there doing that, I don't want you for the
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: good times either.
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, good for you.
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I really tested like the in sickness and in
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: health with getting married and then we're like here you go.
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: So it's been, like you said, it really does test
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: your relationship. And I mean Jack and I just got
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: married back in June and I was dealing with these
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: symptoms trying to actually get through the wedding. We didn't
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: know what it was at that point, and so I
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: think it was a little bit of relief once we
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: got a diagnosis and once we knew what we were
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: working with. But it's been I wish there was a
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: I wish there was like a group, which I'm sure
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: there are groups, but you know, for the people who
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: are going through it and how to handle it and
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: you really are fighting that battle like front on, and
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: then also something for the men or for like the
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: partners that also are with somebody who is either chronically
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: ill or just dealing with any type of illness for
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: a longer period of time. It's hard, and you know,
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: we're a young married couple want to start a family
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: and then want to travel, and we had to come
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: back from our honeymoon early. We had to you know,
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: really kind of lock in and fix this before we
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: even would be able to start a family. Thank goodness,
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: we don't have kids right now. Oh my goodness, Claire,
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: like like the fact that you're able to, like, I
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: cannot even imagine doing this with kids, So I truly
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: comment you on that that's so difficult to think of.
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: But yeah, it's just been almost like a root awakening.
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: But it's also like challenging it right up front, you know,
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: because we both very much are still in love and
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: we talk about it, and the communication is what gets
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: you through. And there's hard days and you grieve what
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: kind of relationship or what kind of times you wish
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: you had right when you're you know, in that honeymoon
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: phase you just got married and everything, and it's like
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: we're going to doctor appointments, we can't do much. We've
• 21:53
  Speaker 3: had to cancel so many plans. We've had to leave
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: so many plans early because of flare ups in these
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: panic attacks. Just adrenaline surges and and all of that.
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: But I think also it's just a beautiful thing too,
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: because that was always my biggest fear is is somebody
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: gonna stick around when times get tough? And that was
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: like the biggest question, and I think that's what I
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: really went through with the Bachelorette. And then you know,
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: obviously when I married Jack, I knew he would stick around,
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: but life was like prove it. I guess I as
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: prove it. Yeah right, he's but it's it's it's been
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: really challenging, but it also you know, if you can
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: get through it, it's gonna make you way stronger. I
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: don't know what else to go through possibly to make
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: you stronger.
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: Is there anything that you can tell people, like advice
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: you can share about about caretakers, like how can people
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: be there for Obviously it's a very individual thing, but
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: for both of you, how can people be there for
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: their loved ones in ways that maybe you've seen that
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: aren't like the mainstream.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay. The biggest thing for me is when that
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: is like the ultimate comfort is when he just holds
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: me and it's half the time, he doesn't have to
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: say anything at all. It's just I'm not going anywhere.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: It's that reminder of I'm not going anywhere because I
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: in the lowest of lows, if I'm being honest, like
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: I have looked him in the face and said, if
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: you need to go, hmm, you're.
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: Making me cry. Oh my god, I know we're I'm
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: gonna be stobbing here in a second.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: They do me do. It just affects our entire life
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: that I just you know, Ryan's an iron man. He's
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: running every day in cycling, and he is so active
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: and his whole life he has been and that's what
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: we do together. And for me not to be able
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: to do it, I literally have looked at him and said, like,
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: if you don't want to be married to me, or
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: if you want different life, like I completely understand, and
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: I do. I do understand that. But what helps is
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: when he will sit with me and just hold me
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: and sit like remind me, even though I know he's
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: not that type of man to ever do that, like,
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: and I know he loves me to the ends of
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: this earth, Like He'll just sit there and remind me.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: And I just need that reminder sometimes because I don't
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: even want to be around myself when I'm in such
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: a bad space. I'm like, get me out of my body.
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: I don't want to be around you know, when I'm
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: grumpy or struggling or in pain, it's not pleasant to
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: be around. And I was like, I get it. But
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: he'll just sit with me and hold me and make
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: me feel like.
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: I'm normal, see seen and heard, and I feel like
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: that's so powerful and not wanting to fix it, I
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: think is what I'm hearing from you. Is that the
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: biggest thing when when Ryan and I get in arguments,
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: and not to like compare it to that, but like
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: there are times when I'm like, I just want you
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: to listen to me. I don't need you to come
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: up with the solution right now. I just want you
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: to hear me and see me and listen and give
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: me a hug. So I get that, right.
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: I think you said it too with just I don't
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: think people realize how much guilt comes with when you're
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: that person who is sick in a relationship and feeling
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: like you're holding them back. And I've given Jack that
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: same out, especially with just having gotten married of like okay,
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: like here's you're out, you know, like it's okay to
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: take it like this is not what either of us
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: signed up for, but I guess it is within sickness
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: and health. And I think he's just had these moments
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: where he's really, you know, sat me down and just said,
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: you do not you don't have to feel guilty, like
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: I want to be here. I want to be here
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: helping you through this. I don't want to be anywhere else.
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: It's okay that I canceled, you know, whatever trip he
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: was going to go on or if he missed something else,
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: Like he want to be home with me and handling it.
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: And I think for me, I just had so much
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: guilt with feeling like I was holding somebody else back.
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: And you know, you want them to be there, right,
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: you don't want to deal with it by yourself. But
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: at the same time, you're just like, okay, you love them,
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: so you want them to be able to go and
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: enjoy different things. And we've been able to find a
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: balance because I think it's important too for you know,
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: I don't want both of us down, so please like
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: take care of your mental health. But just like that
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: release of guilt that he's given me, of like we
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: are getting through this together. This is not just your like,
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: this is not your fault, this is whatever this is.
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: We're going to figure it out. And I think that,
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: you know, I'm not used to sitting down and resting.
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: That's probably why I'm in this position because I was
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: just so go, go, go, and never got out of
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: a fight or flight. And then you know, he'll be like,
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: it's okay to rest, Michelle. It's okay to rest. It's
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: okay to sit down, and you don't need to get
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: anything done today. You are doing something productive by resting.
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: You are literally trying to heal your body. That is
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: a very productive and that's very hard. And you don't
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: need to feel guilty. You don't need to be up cleaning,
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: you don't need to be you know, taking care of
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: the dogs. Like He's like, I got everything. Just rest
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: and don't feel guilty about it, because you know, if
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: you're sitting there and you feel bad about it the
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: whole time, you're not actually recharging. And so I think
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: that's been the biggest piece, is not that I need
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: Like I guess I did need that permission, and I
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: didn't realize I needed that to just hear that from anybody,
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: like it's okay to stop and take care of yourself
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: and really genuinely do that without feeling guilty for saying
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: no or having to miss out on something or having
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: to cancel something. And that's a really hard thing to do.
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: Yes, for sure. I mean as a mom, I feel
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: like there's massive mom guilt whenever you are sick, you know,
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: one day and you can't be there for your kids.
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: So Clara, I bet you feel that with being a mom.
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: You know, I'm sure.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: Still every day and I love my girl to death,
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: you know, like I would if I could do. I mean,
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: it's so much guilt, so much guilt at my peak worse.
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: I remember like rocking her was painful to me, and
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: her little fingers and her trying her little raisorblade nails
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: and just always trying to touch me and which babies
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: do you know? And it just was so I couldn't
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: bend my neck, I couldn't bend my arms, like because it.
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: Was so like.
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: Raw, my skin was so raw. It just hurts so bad,
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: and I just was I remember just feeling so guilty
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: of like I want to rock her longer, or I
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: want to rock her more, or all the things, all
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: the things that would you know that I've been held
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: back for doing or go with her everywhere, or take
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: her everywhere and you know, play with her the park
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: when it's one hundred degrees out and I'm you know,
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: I can't sweat, and so I'm like, but you know
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: what I've learned through everybody, It's like that is taking
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: care of her, you know, caring enough to care is like,
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: that's what makes me a good mom? Is that I want,
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: you know, I will have our nanny come and I'm like,
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: I wish you weren't doing it then I was doing it.
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: And she's like, you hiring me is taking care of her.
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: You know, you're right, You're right.
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: You know that that saying when you get on the
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: airplane and they say, if the oxygen mask drops, then
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: be sure to put it on your face before you
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: do so for a child. And I've all that has
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: always resonated with me. And it is true. You cannot
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: feel even though we can tell you, you can tell
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: yourself that you don't need to feel guilty, You're still
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: probably going to feel it. But I feel like, you know,
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: I'm not going through what you're going through, but making
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: sure you ask for help when you need it is
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: really important for anyone who is going through chronic illness,
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: is going through just a tough day, like ask for help.
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: When Ryan was at his worst, I feel like he's
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: He's like you're Ryan always going you know that athletic
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: triathlete athlete mentality is just you know, go go go.
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: Same with you, Michelle as an athlete, like just go
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: go go. You're going to do everything for everybody. And
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: I feel like the advice I would like to give
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: people who are struggling with chronic illness themselves is to
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: ask for help because there are if you are hopefully
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: blessed with people around you who are willing to support
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: you and be there for you, let them, let them
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: help you.
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: That is the one thing that is so hard for
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: me is yeah, accepting help and asking for help, Like
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: I still like I don't want to ask for hell,
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: Like if I can do what I can do and
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: I can do it, I still I don't know if
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: that will ever leave me. But yeah, I'll tell you
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: the people that don't guilty or that don't go why
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: didn't you come to this event or why did you cancel?
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: Oh gosh, people that just show up for you. Oh,
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: there is a special place in heaven people because.
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: I can't make plans with those other people anymore. I'm like,
• 31:23
  Speaker 3: I can't do it.
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I see, And that's good for you too, I
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: feel like. Is another little snippet is choosing people to
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: surround yourself with because if there if you have realized
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: that there are certain people that just are energy deplets
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: and are not going to feed you and your energy,
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: and you're yeah, good for you, Good for you, Yeah
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: for advocating and standing up for yourself in terms of
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: like choosing your people.
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and almost being okay with something I've had to
• 31:55
  Speaker 3: learn of not explaining because that's yes, so much energy
• 32:01
  Speaker 3: and I think that we you know, you you say
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: no to something or you because you feel that guilt
• 32:06
  Speaker 3: you want to give this explanation. And like getting to
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: this point where just it's okay to save your energy
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: and you're choosing your piece and you don't need to explain.
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: And I think that has been something that I've really
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: needed or have done a lot. Your circle definitely get
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: smaller when you go through something like this, but then
• 32:28
  Speaker 3: you know, those are the people that you really want
• 32:30
  Speaker 3: around you though, that are still around. But it's not
• 32:34
  Speaker 3: fun It's not fun, that's for sure.
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: It's hard, especially when you've been friends with someone for
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: so long and you don't want to have that change.
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: It's also like a like a loss, like a death,
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: and you have to grieve that too. How do you
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: both deal with the grief and the guilt. Are there
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: any mechanisms coping mechanisms that you've discovered that are helping you.
• 33:10
  Speaker 3: I think I'm still learning. I think I'm in that
• 33:12
  Speaker 3: middle piece where I'm just really learning to not feel
• 33:17
  Speaker 3: guilty for the situation that I'm in. And I kind
• 33:22
  Speaker 3: of bob in and out of it because I realized, like,
• 33:24
  Speaker 3: if I sit in that mindset for too long, that's
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: going to take away energy and that's just going to
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: delay me and getting healthy. And so you really have
• 33:32
  Speaker 3: to choose to be all in on what side you're
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: going to be all in. And so like, if I'm
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: really going to heal myself and you know, move that direction,
• 33:39
  Speaker 3: then I have to let those things go. And so
• 33:42
  Speaker 3: that's the reminder. I think I have Jack around to
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: remind me with that too. But it's still like a
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: learning process because I feel it I catch myself in
• 33:52
  Speaker 3: you know, that mind cycle all the time still where
• 33:54
  Speaker 3: I just need to like stop, wait a second, this
• 33:57
  Speaker 3: is not a healthy train of thought, or you know,
• 34:00
  Speaker 3: it's just hard.
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's hard.
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: I think for the same thing. Like I'm with all
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: the years of being like this, I still go through
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: the cycles of it of like sometimes I'm ultramotivated and
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I'm not gonna let it get me down.
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: Like we do we can and the season we are,
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: and like with what we have, like I just you know,
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: I have the positive mindset and I try to keep that,
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: but there's days where I deeply struggle, like deeply struggle,
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: and I think the acceptance of both of those being
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: okay is is where I feel like I get the
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: most healing. Is the days where I need to sit
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: and cry and get it out I do. And the
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: days where I need to grieve the life that I
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: have wanted, or even when it comes to like how
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: physically I look like I was. There's so many times
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: where I'm like I don't even recognize myself at all
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: and grieving that and instead of just ignoring it and
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: being like, well, I'm tough and I'm gonna put on
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: a brave face. Just what I want to do. Most
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: of the time, I will sit and go, yeah, this
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: does suck, but still having hope for it's not always
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: going to be this way, and every day it's going
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: to be different, and tomorrow, later, today it's going to
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: be better. You know, I'll have a different attitude. But
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: just allowing myself to feel all of it. And it's
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: the same thing, like you say, Trista, with grief, doesn't
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: matter what kind of grief it is, whether you've lost somebody,
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: whether you've lost yourself, whether you've lost his friendship or
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: somebody to death, like grief is, grief is grief, and
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: being able to sit in the uncomfortable and just feeling
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: the feels of it does help you get through it. Yeah,
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: not pushing it away and putting on a brave face
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: that doesn't help you. Like that's just you know, it'll
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: still the grief and the loss will still be there,
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: So witnessing it and just honoring that that is the
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: moment for it. Like for me, it helps me get
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: through it is like this is what life is and
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: it does suck right now, but it's not always going
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: to be this way.
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: Do either of you write or like journal or talk
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: to therapists or anything along those lines all the above.
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: I actually wrote a book. I wrote a book for
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: myself all this because I'm like, I need I'm not
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: a book.
• 36:26
  Speaker 3: I didn't like to yourself, that's insane, I know.
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: I mean, I literally though, what do you do when
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: you can't You're sleeping two hours a night and in
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: the middle of that, I I just I needed to
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: write it down and to be able to look back.
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: Why do I always want to cry to day? Sorry?
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: As we were just saying like, yeah, if you need
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: to cry, then you cry. It's okay, We're going to
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: be crying with you.
• 36:49
  Speaker 6: I just wanted a documentation for my daughter when she
• 36:54
  Speaker 6: was a baby, like what I was going through and
• 36:58
  Speaker 6: what I would do for her and what you know.
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: I like, I just wanted her to be like, damn,
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: that's my mom, you know, like she's a survivor and
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: she is resilient, and that's like the biggest thing I
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: could ever want for my daughter is to be resilient.
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: And I want to teach her what that looks like.
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: And so just writing down everything because I can't possibly
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: sit there and be like remember everything that, you know,
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: the darkest moments and the heaviest, hardest moments, Like I
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: want her to see that and be able to read
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: it and go or not even my daughter, but maybe
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: one day other people to look at as a guide
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: of like you're not crazy.
• 37:43
  Speaker 3: For no, you're not crazy.
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: You go alone, you know, one day. But I don't know.
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: It's more of like a journal, I guess, but it's
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: Scott chapter. So it's a long one.
• 37:53
  Speaker 3: That's a book. That's a book of book.
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: At this point, but it's like a silent witness to
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: the pain and the struggle and the heaviness and like
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: the experiences, the ups and downs of it all. Like
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: I want to remember it for myself too, as like damn,
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: I survived that. I got through that. For you, we'll see.
• 38:20
  Speaker 3: I think I'm like just getting to that stage of
• 38:24
  Speaker 3: wanting to write about it. I think I was in
• 38:29
  Speaker 3: a point of like denial when I first had the diagnosis,
• 38:32
  Speaker 3: and then you know you have to kind of go
• 38:35
  Speaker 3: through that period yourself and also just figure out, Okay, well,
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: how are we going to do this? How are we
• 38:40
  Speaker 3: treating this?
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: You're just trying to get through it, right, So you're.
• 38:42
  Speaker 3: Literally just trying to survive and figure out what's what's
• 38:45
  Speaker 3: going on? And then on the good days, you're trying
• 38:47
  Speaker 3: to just enjoy the good days. So the days where
• 38:50
  Speaker 3: I've maybe had enough energy to journal, like, I didn't
• 38:52
  Speaker 3: want to go back into a mindset and you know,
• 38:55
  Speaker 3: get emotional or expend that energy. So I think the
• 38:59
  Speaker 3: further out that I get from not that there's not
• 39:01
  Speaker 3: going to be really hard days, but just there's some
• 39:03
  Speaker 3: really really really sick, sick days and there still are
• 39:08
  Speaker 3: here and there but being able to talk about it
• 39:11
  Speaker 3: where I can talk about it and it's okay to
• 39:14
  Speaker 3: get emotional about it. But I think right now for
• 39:16
  Speaker 3: me with my nervous system, it's just that is taking
• 39:20
  Speaker 3: up so much energy to just sit and write and
• 39:23
  Speaker 3: write and write and write and write about it. And
• 39:24
  Speaker 3: so there's times where when it comes I embrace it.
• 39:27
  Speaker 3: I've you know, started posting more about it on social media.
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: I was very much like to show up happy, positive
• 39:33
  Speaker 3: if it wasn't that I can't put it out there.
• 39:36
  Speaker 3: I think I cried, like maybe once on my season
• 39:39
  Speaker 3: of the Bachelorette, even just because when the cameras were around,
• 39:42
  Speaker 3: I didn't. I was just so uncomfortable with showing emotion
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: like they they clipped someone else crying over me because
• 39:48
  Speaker 3: I wouldn't like cry and they did. Yeah. I think
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: it was Katie Thurston crying. I talked about it and
• 39:56
  Speaker 3: they like, wow, breaking a bit, and there's one moment
• 40:00
  Speaker 3: we're like they hadn't I had been done like this,
• 40:04
  Speaker 3: and they like clipped someone else's crying from their season
• 40:07
  Speaker 3: and put it over because I don't know. I guess
• 40:10
  Speaker 3: I wasn't crying enough. I wasn't emotional enough.
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: Oh wow.
• 40:14
  Speaker 3: But but yeah, I think now obviously I'm really in
• 40:18
  Speaker 3: those fields and in those difficult times in learning how
• 40:21
  Speaker 3: to just like it's okay to show that, and so
• 40:24
  Speaker 3: I think with like social media, that has been my
• 40:26
  Speaker 3: outlet to show up and be like, okay, you know,
• 40:29
  Speaker 3: let me just hopefully putting this out here will at
• 40:31
  Speaker 3: least help somebody or help you know, someone else not
• 40:34
  Speaker 3: feel so low. And I think I've kind of used
• 40:36
  Speaker 3: that as a reason, which I don't know if that's
• 40:39
  Speaker 3: good or bad.
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: I don't think there's a good or bad. I think
• 40:42
  Speaker 2: it's just you, like you just do you.
• 40:45
  Speaker 3: That's hard too, though, because then you you know, you
• 40:47
  Speaker 3: want to show up and then be real, because I
• 40:49
  Speaker 3: if I've set a picture and throw it up there
• 40:51
  Speaker 3: and it looks like I'm happy, and I'm like, this's
• 40:52
  Speaker 3: crazy because I'm over here sitting on my couch sobbing
• 40:55
  Speaker 3: because I have I haven't been able to go do
• 40:57
  Speaker 3: this and this, and I've been so sick and can't
• 40:59
  Speaker 3: even you know, take care of dogs, like all these things.
• 41:01
  Speaker 3: But like a picture of me is smiling on social media,
• 41:04
  Speaker 3: like you can't even tell that I'm going through anything.
• 41:06
  Speaker 3: So I think I like came to that understanding of
• 41:09
  Speaker 3: wanting to share let's just be real with where we're at,
• 41:13
  Speaker 3: so I don't have to like fake a smile. But
• 41:15
  Speaker 3: then you worry about, Okay, well, then you know people
• 41:17
  Speaker 3: are gonna see me as negative or like I'm always
• 41:19
  Speaker 3: complaining or you know, am I one of those people
• 41:22
  Speaker 3: who is having hard time? And then they turn on
• 41:25
  Speaker 3: the camera just so that I can like you know,
• 41:27
  Speaker 3: video it and then victimizelf like it's so hard. It's
• 41:31
  Speaker 3: like you want people to receive it correctly, and you're
• 41:34
  Speaker 3: so worried about that. Where I've kind of started to
• 41:37
  Speaker 3: let that go and that's been really healing too, of
• 41:41
  Speaker 3: just the other's opinions on your illness or what you
• 41:45
  Speaker 3: are or what you aren't or what you look like
• 41:48
  Speaker 3: or all of that. But again, like it comes and goes,
• 41:53
  Speaker 3: because there's days where it's really difficult too, but it's
• 41:55
  Speaker 3: just illness is isolating. It's really really hard, and I
• 42:00
  Speaker 3: think it's to talk to somebody. I mean, right now,
• 42:04
  Speaker 3: I'm not in therapy. I think eventually I'll get there.
• 42:07
  Speaker 3: I just have like appointments every single day right now,
• 42:10
  Speaker 3: so I don't have time to do that. And that
• 42:13
  Speaker 3: is honestly my therapy with kind of the treatment that
• 42:16
  Speaker 3: I'm doing.
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: But of course, yeah, yeah, it's.
• 42:20
  Speaker 3: It's been doing different types of therapy I think for me.
• 42:23
  Speaker 2: And that's okay. I just didn't know if that was
• 42:26
  Speaker 2: like something that has helped either of you. And honestly,
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: I'm kind of asking for myself because I'm not going
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: through chronic illness, but if you consider menopause chronic illness, yes.
• 42:43
  Speaker 3: I think therapy is helpful for everyone. I think therapy.
• 42:46
  Speaker 3: I think everyone should go to therapy, whether regardless of
• 42:49
  Speaker 3: what you're going. You know, it's helpful. You have to
• 42:52
  Speaker 3: find the right therapist and be okay with shopping your
• 42:53
  Speaker 3: own for a therapist. I will say, yeah, true, you know,
• 42:57
  Speaker 3: but I think it's there's no wrong time to sooth therapy.
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah no, I just connected with somebody. We're gonna chat
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: next week. And so much of what you're saying I
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: feel like people can relate to in their own individual
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: ways about like posting on Instagram and showing up because gosh,
• 43:18
  Speaker 2: I the imposter syndrome right now is like I am struggling.
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: I'm in a part where or a space where I'm
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: struggling just having two teenagers having to like launch my
• 43:31
  Speaker 2: kids off into their futures very soon. Max is a
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: senior and Blakesley's a junior, and like my purpose of
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: being a mom is changing empty nests. Just is not
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: something that I've looked forward to, because I've wanted to
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: be a mom my whole life, and I know I'm
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: always gonna be a mom. But then you add the menopause,
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: and then you add just self doubt and the brain
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: fog and the memory and the lack of energy and
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: no motivation to get to the gym so I don't
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: fit in my clothes, and you know, all of these
• 44:00
  Speaker 2: things just compound on each other, and the irritability and
• 44:04
  Speaker 2: all of it, so I I feel those like what
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: you were saying about social media so much because so
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: many times I have recorded videos like explaining it, and
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: then I'm like, Nope, there's people who are going through
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: so much worse. I have a good friend who just
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: lost her daughter. I you know, like people like you
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: guys are going through significant battles in your lives, and
• 44:27
  Speaker 2: I feel like, who am I Like, why should I
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: just be complaining about Like I have a great life,
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: I have a great husband, I have great kids, and
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: and I'm not struggling every day with pain and doctor's appointments.
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: So it always like puts me back in like, no,
• 44:44
  Speaker 2: you can't share this. But then on the flip side,
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: I'm like, but I should share because there are people
• 44:48
  Speaker 2: out there. I know, I know. So it's that's the
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: battle that goes on and in my mind, so I
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: totally relate to what you're saying about that, and I
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: think we all should just freaking not care about what
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: anyone else thinks and just share our truth.
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: Yeahs, I was talking to Caroline Lenney. She was on
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: I believe Aris season of The Batch Spocheler.
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah right, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: She is one of my soul humans. That I just
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: love to death, or the other day about how it
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: is hard to share, and you know, I'm like, oh,
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: there's things that are so challenging, exactly exactly everything you
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: guys say of like somebody's got it worse than you.
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Like some bad worse in you,
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: and like you don't want to sit here and come
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: off as too depressing or this or that. But and
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: I was like, I want to share. I just don't
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: know how to share or if people even want to
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: hear it or whatever, like I don't want to be
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: woe is me or whatever. But it's raw and it's
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: real and it's authentic. But she was saying, she's like,
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: you have to share. And her point was, she said,
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: imagine if I didn't share about because she went through
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: a lot of fertility, like she went saving her eggs
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: and a lot of fertility struggles in regards to her
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: her fertility. And she was like, imagine if I didn't
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: share about that publicly because that was my struggle at
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: the time. And she's like, I was struggling and I
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: didn't know if I wanted to share it at but
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: I shared, and I thought, oh, my gosh. If she
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: wouldn't have shared her struggle with her fertility, I wouldn't
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: have known who her doctor was, and I wouldn't have
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: connected with her doctor and my daughter. Who would have
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: known if I have had my daughter if it wasn't
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: for her connecting me and mentioning that doctor doctor amy?
• 46:35
  Speaker 3: Is that crazy how that always works?
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: Totally? And she it was the greatest point of Like
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: this is like the reason to share is because there's
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: always going to be the crazies out there that are
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: liking right, But then there's people who are like I
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: am going through menopause too, and I have those symptoms too.
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: Maybe it is menopause or I have those symptoms too
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: that you have, Michelle, And like, god, it's all making
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: sense and I'm not the only one going through this
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: or you know, like sharing is who else is it?
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: Robin Roberts like make your mess your message. Yeah, Like
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: there is the right person and the right audience for that.
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: That's all that. It matters who it hits with, and
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: it's your truth.
• 47:17
  Speaker 3: Right, there's nothing that's sharing your story. There's nothing wrong
• 47:19
  Speaker 3: with sharing your story.
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, and in a way I feel feel like it's
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: very cathartic and healing in itself to to say like
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: this is my life and this is what I'm going
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: through and like and you know, like this is me.
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: If you want the polished curled hair, makeup perfect person,
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: you know that that's sorry? Can you put that there?
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: Or that you know, like social media, be like, that's
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: not me. Those aren't the people that I want to
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: like connect with. The people I want to connect with
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: are the people that are like, hell, yeah I get.
• 47:53
  Speaker 2: It, you know, yep, yeah, totally yeah. So what does
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: today look like in your bodies? And what is a
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: road ahead looking like for both of you?
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: Different every day? For me, it's a different every day, Like.
• 48:07
  Speaker 3: I wish that's okay, I said, I do my hair today,
• 48:10
  Speaker 3: like yay, and.
• 48:11
  Speaker 2: You look beautiful. You guys, seriously, that is a win.
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: That is a win. Okay. Do you guys know there's
• 48:19
  Speaker 2: a book and maybe this could be something you could do, Michelle,
• 48:23
  Speaker 2: I am not an expert obviously, but maybe it's something
• 48:26
  Speaker 2: you could do. There's a book that I have that's
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: like you write down three three things I think it's
• 48:32
  Speaker 2: called three Things something like that, or you write three
• 48:34
  Speaker 2: things that you're grateful for in that day. And even
• 48:36
  Speaker 2: if it's like not writing, if you feel like you
• 48:39
  Speaker 2: don't have the energy, grab your phone and create a
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: note or a voice memo or whatever, just of and
• 48:45
  Speaker 2: you could just say one word. I mean, it could
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: beat Jack, it could be today, it could be my hair.
• 48:52
  Speaker 3: You know, Like gratitude can get you through a lot.
• 48:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, truly can great.
• 48:58
  Speaker 3: I think I've seen that book at like barant and
• 49:01
  Speaker 3: Noble or whatever I was the other day, and just
• 49:04
  Speaker 3: even seeing it just brings perspective of like, Okay, I
• 49:06
  Speaker 3: can always find three things to be grateful for.
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: You know, Yes, I feel like that is really important,
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: even though you're living in this right now like probably
• 49:18
  Speaker 2: like a big flare, you know, moment in your life,
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: not day, but moment in your life. I feel like
• 49:25
  Speaker 2: focusing on the light, the positivity is really important. Yeah.
• 49:31
  Speaker 2: And then just keeping up with your doctor's appointments.
• 49:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it teaches you to be grateful though, for like
• 49:37
  Speaker 3: the small things, wouldn't you say, Claire, just even everything
• 49:40
  Speaker 3: you went through and then you as well with just
• 49:42
  Speaker 3: your husband. It's just life had to get so simple
• 49:46
  Speaker 3: again at one point to even like remouild. I feel
• 49:49
  Speaker 3: like when you're going through those really hard moments because
• 49:51
  Speaker 3: you do go back into you're surviving and so, you know,
• 49:55
  Speaker 3: we used to be walking red carpets and doing all
• 49:58
  Speaker 3: these things and you know, cameras and all this stuff,
• 50:01
  Speaker 3: and then now it's like I told you, I'm like
• 50:04
  Speaker 3: I had trouble like even going to the fridge or whatever.
• 50:06
  Speaker 3: And so there was a moment where it was like,
• 50:10
  Speaker 3: you know, I did my hair today, or I got
• 50:12
  Speaker 3: up and I was able to shower today without you know,
• 50:15
  Speaker 3: having to like lie down afterwards, or I was able
• 50:18
  Speaker 3: to walk down and grab the mail and come back
• 50:21
  Speaker 3: up and then you know, take my shoes off without
• 50:23
  Speaker 3: doing like such simple things that we used to take
• 50:25
  Speaker 3: for granted, and now I am like appreciating them. And
• 50:30
  Speaker 3: it was so hard at first because I was frustrated
• 50:32
  Speaker 3: by it, like I can't even do that. I can't
• 50:34
  Speaker 3: believe I can't do this, like this is something so simple,
• 50:37
  Speaker 3: And now I in my head, I'm noticing that, I'm
• 50:39
  Speaker 3: like awesome, Like we gotta go do this today. Like
• 50:42
  Speaker 3: I'll talk to my mom on the phone and be like, oh, hey, Mom,
• 50:45
  Speaker 3: I was able to go get my mail today without
• 50:48
  Speaker 3: being out of breath or whatever whatever. It is, but
• 50:51
  Speaker 3: it really doesn't make you appreciate and slow down a
• 50:54
  Speaker 3: little bit and almost just embrace the time that you're
• 50:57
  Speaker 3: going through. And I never used to do that. I
• 50:59
  Speaker 3: used to like, what's the next thing on the list,
• 51:01
  Speaker 3: what's you know, what's the next trip that's planned? Like
• 51:03
  Speaker 3: I was always you know, setting goals are great, but
• 51:06
  Speaker 3: I was always looking in the future, and it was
• 51:08
  Speaker 3: so hard to live and you know, the present time
• 51:11
  Speaker 3: and this is literally forced me and my body is
• 51:14
  Speaker 3: like saying, slow down. You have to learn how to
• 51:17
  Speaker 3: slow down. And so I'm definitely learning how to live
• 51:20
  Speaker 3: in the present. And I think that I actually appreciate
• 51:24
  Speaker 3: that about this because I am able to enjoy the
• 51:27
  Speaker 3: small things. And it's hard when you know, you get
• 51:29
  Speaker 3: to a point where you've done so many cool things,
• 51:31
  Speaker 3: and you know, you go to like this movie premiere
• 51:33
  Speaker 3: and you go to all this other stuff, and then
• 51:35
  Speaker 3: sometimes you'll be doing something and you're realizing, like you're
• 51:39
  Speaker 3: not enjoying it as much as you used to, or
• 51:41
  Speaker 3: life is just kind of gray and black. And when
• 51:43
  Speaker 3: you have to slow down for something like in illness,
• 51:46
  Speaker 3: you really learn how to appreciate the really, really small things.
• 51:50
  Speaker 3: And so I'm just learning to love the small things again,
• 51:53
  Speaker 3: and I do love that part about it. Obviously, don't
• 51:56
  Speaker 3: love that how to get sick, but right it's just
• 51:59
  Speaker 3: kind of a glass half full is small things are
• 52:02
  Speaker 3: becoming beautiful again, and I think that's worth noting.
• 52:05
  Speaker 2: I would say, Okay, Claire, what about you. I know
• 52:20
  Speaker 2: that you obviously were just in Thailand. We communicated while
• 52:27
  Speaker 2: you were there because I saw Ryan in the airport,
• 52:29
  Speaker 2: which was so random. I was like, wait, is your
• 52:32
  Speaker 2: husband or was I in Orange County or wherever I was?
• 52:37
  Speaker 2: And I was like, is he in the airport? She's like,
• 52:39
  Speaker 2: actually he is. That's so funny.
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: Was going to Colorado, yes, exactly.
• 52:46
  Speaker 2: And he ended up being on the plane in front
• 52:48
  Speaker 2: of me, Michelle, two seats in front of me, which
• 52:50
  Speaker 2: was so crazy. I know I didn't give the chance
• 52:54
  Speaker 2: to stay hi because he went off and running after.
• 52:57
  Speaker 2: I'm sure he had somewhere to be but after we landed,
• 53:01
  Speaker 2: but it was it was just so random. But I
• 53:04
  Speaker 2: know you were just in Thailand. Tell us how your
• 53:08
  Speaker 2: diagnosis is looking like after your treatment, and how you're feeling,
• 53:13
  Speaker 2: and what that road ahead looks like for you.
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: So what one thing I've realized with like an invisible
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: illness and something that is not crazy, studied all the
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: time and doesn't have like a quick easy fix, is
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: that it doesn't take just one thing to I guess,
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: quote unquote heal it. It's it's finding different modalities and
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: for everybody it's different, because no, it never looks the
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: same for two people, right, so it's finding different modalities
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: to support my life right now and kind of like
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: day by day going to Thailand. It definitely I it
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: was this is a wild thing. Is that my skin?
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: The second I got there, my skin and started getting
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: crazy better, Like I was glowing, I was feeling good.
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: I was sleeping ten hours a night like it was
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: heaven on earth. But you're also living in like a
• 54:12
  Speaker 1: door room with nothing, like nothing that can collect dust,
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: and it's just bare bones. I think I took four
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: outfits like for a couple of months, and I just
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: lived in that in pajamas, you know, same thing. But
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: I I it was humid, it was there wasn't crazy pollens,
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: and I just would go to treatment every week and
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: it was very simple. I was getting amazing sleep. I
• 54:37
  Speaker 1: don't have a I didn't have a two year old
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: wakes up four times a night. Still, yeah, for part
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: they came out. They actually came out part of the.
• 54:44
  Speaker 2: Time, but oh I love it.
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it was great. But the so when I was there,
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: my body, you know I did. I was doing amazing,
• 54:51
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh, I'm better, you know, this is great.
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: And then I came home and you know, northern California
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: a ton of allergies, a ton of irritants, and my
• 55:04
  Speaker 1: environment's different. And they say, with what I have with
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: topical steroid withdrawal, the your environment is like ninety percent
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: of your healing. And so it's impossible here to not
• 55:16
  Speaker 1: be around irritants. I mean, blesser and soul. We got
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: rid of every single carpet and every single thing in
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: our house that would all are amazing pillows and our
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: bed frame that was all, but everything was collecting dust
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: and dust is a big trigger for my body.
• 55:29
  Speaker 2: Really I didn't we trying to kind of.
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: Not live around dust, right, I have like twenty humidifor
• 55:34
  Speaker 1: my humidfiers purifiers in our house, Like it just is,
• 55:37
  Speaker 1: It's impossible. So my body kind of rebound flared. But
• 55:40
  Speaker 1: like I said, different modalities help support it. So one
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: thing that's huge for me and Trista we can talk
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: about this too.
• 55:48
  Speaker 2: Is peptides because I'm also.
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, it is heaven, heaven, heaven, and they
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: so port my body so much. And I know there's
• 56:02
  Speaker 1: no good do it, don't do it, believe in it,
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: don't believe in it. But for me and for what
• 56:07
  Speaker 1: I've been going through, it is a game changer for me,
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: not only for my skin, but for menopause and perimenopause.
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: It has been a game changer for me. So are
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: they oral? No injectable?
• 56:19
  Speaker 3: Okay, there's also ones too.
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: Yep, there's nasal ones for sure. I know which one
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: you're talking about. Yeah, So it's it's it's been a
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: big thing. And I also like nervous system regulation is
• 56:34
  Speaker 1: a huge thing, uh with I think with most ever,
• 56:38
  Speaker 1: I mean when is it not a big thing?
• 56:39
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: But it for one reason or another. My body still
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: is fight or flight and it's got this like protective
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: shell on it that I just daily, I mean not
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: even daily, like hourly, have to remind myself. And that's why,
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: you know, sleep is tough, not only for pain still,
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: but like being a mom and stress and menopause and
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: you know, it's the combo of everything. So there's not
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: one thing that's wrong with me, and there's not one
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: modality that helps me. I just kind of like incorporate
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: what I need to as I need to and what works,
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: and every day it's different. But sleep is the main
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: thing for me. Nervous regulation, like not a lot of
• 57:21
  Speaker 1: stress is a big thing for me, and then from
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: there I can keep my flares under control. My skin
• 57:27
  Speaker 1: isn't crazy bad anymore. But you know, like I said,
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: I go hug a friend who smells amazing and delicious
• 57:33
  Speaker 1: and has great perfume on and I'm set back. So
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: it's brutal, but it's like, I know, our bodies are
• 57:44
  Speaker 1: amazing and they our bodies want to heal, and so
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: it's just giving my body this what it needs when
• 57:53
  Speaker 1: it needs it and adjusting that daily because it's different
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: all the time.
• 57:58
  Speaker 2: And I know you both have dealt with lots of doctors.
• 58:00
  Speaker 2: Have you both found doctors that you trust? Yeah, yeah,
• 58:05
  Speaker 2: that are helping you good?
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: Multiple doctors.
• 58:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you kind of have to find just somebody has
• 58:12
  Speaker 3: an experience in a different area and a little bit
• 58:16
  Speaker 3: of everything. But I was lucky enough to find it's
• 58:19
  Speaker 3: a nervous system based chiropractor, and so they're a doctor,
• 58:25
  Speaker 3: but they have a specialty in just neurology and nervous
• 58:28
  Speaker 3: system in general. And with me, it was really you know,
• 58:33
  Speaker 3: I was having all these different symptoms and so that's
• 58:35
  Speaker 3: why I got into Okay, well, we see that you
• 58:38
  Speaker 3: have been exposed to mold, and I could go through
• 58:40
  Speaker 3: and I could detox for mold. But the issue with
• 58:43
  Speaker 3: that is is that my system was still in flight
• 58:45
  Speaker 3: or flight. So if I were to get exposed to
• 58:46
  Speaker 3: mold again, which mold is everywhere my body was for
• 58:49
  Speaker 3: some reason not detoxing, it's on its own. So I'm like, okay,
• 58:53
  Speaker 3: well then we need to obviously fix the system. And
• 58:56
  Speaker 3: that's what this doctor really focuses on. And did we
• 58:59
  Speaker 3: do something the insight scanning where it's these three different
• 59:02
  Speaker 3: scans and every twelve appointments, I go and I redo
• 59:05
  Speaker 3: the scans and they're able to see where my nervous
• 59:09
  Speaker 3: system is at and my in fighter flight all these
• 59:12
  Speaker 3: different like so so many different numbers and cues and
• 59:18
  Speaker 3: HRV and all this other, but basically numbers telling them
• 59:21
  Speaker 3: exactly where my nervous system is at. And when I
• 59:25
  Speaker 3: go in for adjustments basically Monday through Friday. You know,
• 59:29
  Speaker 3: when you go into a chiropractor, you can get adjusted
• 59:31
  Speaker 3: for like thirty things, like they're our body just is
• 59:34
  Speaker 3: constantly moving right, and if you have like pain, you know,
• 59:36
  Speaker 3: tell them where it's hurting and they can see like
• 59:38
  Speaker 3: maybe you have a ribout or whatever. But when you
• 59:40
  Speaker 3: go into a nervous system based chiropractor, they focus solely
• 59:44
  Speaker 3: on that, so there's certain points in your body that
• 59:47
  Speaker 3: they can adjust so that your nervous system is basically
• 59:50
  Speaker 3: like rewiring itself and like rebuilding and detoxing. So my
• 59:55
  Speaker 3: body has now moved to where I am out of
• 59:58
  Speaker 3: fighter flight and I will am at the point where
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 3: I'll bounce back and forth, so like you know, but
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 3: we want to get to the point where eventually I'll
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 3: stay out of fight or flight. And it's like retraining
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 3: my body how to handle emotions, how to process things
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 3: that that book like the Body Keeps Score I've been
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 3: reading of just you know, everything you go through, you
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 3: can process it right, but your body holds onto it.
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 3: So a lot of like different things have happened as
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 3: I'm detoxing, Like I'm going through a huge period where
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 3: I'm like actively talking in my sleep, like poor Jack,
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 3: but like I am saying the craziest stuff in my sleep,
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 3: talking to him, having conversations. But my body is just detoxing,
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 3: and then I'll go through, you know, all these other
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 3: phases while I'm going through it, so I can kind
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 3: of feel everything, like not moving around because like different
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 3: symptoms pop up. But it's not a bad thing because
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 3: it's just basically my nervous system showing that it's resetting
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 3: itself because, like you said, it's super smart. Our bodies
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 3: are meant to get rid of this stuff on its own.
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 3: And whether it's like a traumatic event. Mine they think
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 3: came from a concussion that really set it off, and
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 3: then my body wasn't able to handle stressors. And so
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 3: now from there right, your body is not talking to
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 3: each other like correctly, and so you're having symptoms. Another
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 3: stressful event happens, you're not able to process that correctly
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 3: because it's already you know, offset and all these things
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 3: just build and build and build and build, and then
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 3: eventually it got so bad that it crashed and then
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 3: pots deadenoia. So basically we're like rebuilding from the ground up.
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 3: But it's been crazy to just like see my and
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 3: feel my body work through these things. Because when I
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 3: first talk to them, I'm like, yeah, maybe okay, like
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 3: going to a chiropractor, but I've been to a chiropractor
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 3: several times before. How is this going to fix it?
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 3: But they really can key in on exactly what is
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 3: going on all these different points I wasn't able to
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 3: work out when I first started this. Every time I
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 3: worked out, I'd get sick, brutally sick, because my body
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 3: would think me being fatigued, is me getting sick? Start, like,
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 3: my mucus would start, production would start going, My lyph
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 3: nodes would swell, all these things, my temperature, I'd get
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 3: a fever. But what was actually happening is I was
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 3: just tired. And so they go and they adjust me,
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 3: and my body would go back to, oh like sending
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 3: the correct signal. Oh she's just tired, she's not getting sick.
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 3: So we're gonna like calm her lymph nodes. We're not
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 3: gonna you know, we're gonna stop the mucus production. It
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 3: would stop within like ten minutes of them adjusting. So
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 3: it's just been like amazing working with them and learning
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 3: stuff from them and the fact that they can just
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 3: actually use these scans to track where I'm at and
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 3: help get like a really precise adjustment. That has been
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 3: like really fixing a lot of the pot symptoms, and
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 3: it's been amazing because, like you said, so many things
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 3: are pretty much everything's based off the nervous system. So yeah, Claire,
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 3: we'll have to talk because if there's I like highly
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 3: believe in it. It was something that I was like
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 3: so skeptical before and it just changed in front of
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 3: my eyes. It's it's pretty cool how they can teach
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 3: your body how to pull itself out of fight or flight.
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 3: You just got to show up to the appointment.
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 1: I could do that. I could do that, But then
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 1: exact we circle back of like the point talking about
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 1: this all is that I would have never known about that,
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 1: Like I still don't. We will definitely have the talk
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 1: because I don't know at all.
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 2: Same you guys. I was writing notes down because sorry,
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 2: I was looking down on my phone, but I was
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 2: literally writing notes. So Ryan. Just recently, like I was
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 2: talking to someone about the fact that firefighters live in
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 2: fight or flight like they are because they're trained at
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 2: their job. They have to be ready for the bell
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 2: to ring and for them to go to a call
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 2: and then you get home, even when they're sleeping, but
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 2: then they get home and they are still in fight
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 2: or flight. So like all of the you said it was,
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 2: insight therapy is what it's called.
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 3: Those are the a nervous system based chiropractor and I
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 3: can text you the information too, but the insight scans are.
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 2: What insights They scan thank you to tell.
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 3: You where like your nervous system is, it looks at
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 3: your spine, how basically your two different like systems are
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 3: talking to each other, how they're aligned and everything, and
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 3: like they they lower down when they like tell me
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 3: what's happening they are.
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 2: So yeah, there's a.
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 3: Lot of different high terminology and everything like that, but
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 3: they definitely know what they're doing. But it's it's I
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 3: guess it's what chiropractic care used to be and then
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 3: it got away to the into the you know, like
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 3: let's crack the neck as hard as we can and
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 3: you know what I mean. You go on social media
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 3: and you see those people who are like doing all
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 3: the cracks and it's like satisfab.
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 1: I really do too, still do, but but.
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I love this because it's like you correct the
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 3: nervous system and then you know, the body is meant
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 3: to handle all of this. So if we can get
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 3: it back on track, then it will you know, be
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 3: able to detox some mold by itself, or be able
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 3: to get rid of the autoimmune and a disease that's
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 3: going on. So it's been unreal, like literally has changed
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 3: my life. So it's not a quick fix, no, and
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 3: that's okay, that's okay. It doesn't need to be a
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 3: quick fix. But it's a foundational fix for sure.
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, foundational fix.
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 1: Also, I know we're talking about like me going to
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 1: Thailand and like your chiropractor doctor and like it. For
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 1: people listening, I'm sure it can sound like money. This
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 1: is insane, like a I can't afford that. I want, truly,
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 1: deeply everybody also to know whoever is listening and if
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 1: you are struggling, to know that there are just as
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 1: many things that you can do that are free that
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 1: can regulate your nervous system. It might not be, i'man
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 1: obviously not the same thing that we're doing, but don't
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 1: underestimate the power of things that are free, which is
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 1: like sunlight, vitamin D, grounding like things that do regulate
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 1: your nervous system that will absolutely move the needle and help.
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 3: Yep. There's like a lot of Somatic care videos and their.
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 1: Mattic Care videos. Yeah videos, and I mean, I mean
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 1: so many things people can do, even the power, like
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 1: I said, the power of regulating your sleep and just
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 1: focusing on that type of thing. But and like books
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 1: and things like that. But I want people to if
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 1: people are struggling, to also understand that, like you can
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 1: absolutely work on things that you have control over. You
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 1: know that don't involve money too, which is sometimes you
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 1: have to go to the ends of the earth for
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 1: what you need. And in the same there are those
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 1: power moves that anybody can do right every single day.
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 1: You can walk out, you can touch grass and not
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 1: saying that's going to heal everything, but they help regulate
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 1: our nervous systems and that's at the root of it,
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 1: like what we need.
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 2: Right Yeah, Oh my gosh, Yes, I love all of this.
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 2: You guys, you're amazing and I am not pity you.
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 2: I'm here along with you for your journey. I'm here
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 2: for you. I don't want you to feel like you
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 2: can't share because you're going to be judged. I want
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 2: you to be able to share and be vulnerable and
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 2: talk about what's going on, so hopefully this has helped
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 2: a little bit in that way and connecting you to
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 2: I'm glad that you have each other now and you
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 2: can connect and relate to what you're going through. I
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 2: am just so appreciative for you guys coming on and
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 2: sharing this because I guarantee you there's someone out there
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 2: who is struggling with you know something, and they heard
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 2: something that we talked about today, that you guys talked
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 2: about today that will help them. So thank you.
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 1: Thank you for giving us the platform and the space
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 1: to talk about this kind of stuff because it's not
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 1: always fun to hear and uplifting and you know bachelorette gos,
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 1: but this is real life stuff, which in my world
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 1: it's more important, way more valuable. So thank you for
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 1: for having us in this space for us to talk
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 1: about it.
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 2: Of course, h h m hm