Latest / Pod Therapy / #363: Masking ADHD, Noisy Neighbors, Misophonia
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: That was lovely. Karen McCullough, Thank you, Karen. Gotta get
- 0:04Speaker 1: that hard k today. This episode is made possible by
- 0:13Speaker 1: our theity to the dark Lord himself, Jims, and our
- 0:18Speaker 1: therap partner's dirty B and pickets from Fabulous Las Vegas, Nevadas.
- 0:23Speaker 1: Is pot therapy, Real people, real problems, and real therapists.
- 0:26Speaker 1: You can submit your questions anonymously at pod therapy dot
- 0:28Speaker 1: net or email us at pod therapy guys at gmail
- 0:32Speaker 1: dot com. And now broadcasting from the Churn. That's Jim,
- 0:35Speaker 1: that's Whitney. I'm Nick. It's time for some pod.
- 0:37Speaker 2: A welcome hose and hawes and non hose. Okay, yeah, let's.
- 0:45Speaker 1: Just start that. Yeah, let's just do yeah, next one,
- 0:47Speaker 1: next one. We're going really great.
- 0:49Speaker 2: But just you know, every once in a while you
- 0:50Speaker 2: get to shake it out. You gotta just be ready
- 0:52Speaker 2: for it. It'll be fine. Shut up, Okay.
- 0:58Speaker 1: This episode has made possible by the Tarklard himself, Jim's
- 1:02Speaker 1: fashas upon him, our therapy partner's dirty B and pickets
- 1:06Speaker 1: from Fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada. This is our second attempt
- 1:09Speaker 1: at pod therapy, Real people, real problems, and real therapists.
- 1:13Speaker 1: You can submit your questions anonymously at pod therapy dot
- 1:15Speaker 1: net or email us at pod therapy guys at gmail
- 1:18Speaker 1: dot com. It broadcaster from the Turn, that's Jim, that's Whitney.
- 1:21Speaker 1: I'm Nick sign for some pot therapy. Hi, everybody, welcome.
- 1:28Speaker 1: The season is upon us.
- 1:30Speaker 2: We are excited to be with you during your holiday times.
- 1:34Speaker 2: If you'd like to hear our favorite holiday movies, you
- 1:37Speaker 2: can check us out patreon dot com slash therapy.
- 1:39Speaker 1: And we are opening gifts.
- 1:41Speaker 2: People are sending their holiday cards and gifts. And we
- 1:43Speaker 2: got the cutest little hobo thing symbolic hobo threads accustomed
- 1:49Speaker 2: to each of us from our friend Karen, So thank
- 1:53Speaker 2: you for that. But yeah, check us out patreon dot
- 1:55Speaker 2: com slash therapy. Hear all about the Las Vegas festivities
- 1:59Speaker 2: and all of our favorite traditions.
- 2:01Speaker 1: And the movie that I think we mostly agreed.
- 2:03Speaker 2: Is a piece of shit. And I think that there
- 2:05Speaker 2: was there was finality.
- 2:07Speaker 1: On that that someone was attacking someone was three and
- 2:11Speaker 1: a half people in this room agree that terrible. I
- 2:14Speaker 1: think the deer always counts.
- 2:18Speaker 2: Yeah, the deer counts as long as it's against something
- 2:22Speaker 2: cast scored. Yeah, it's gonna be a good time, and
- 2:26Speaker 2: if you'd like to send in holiday cards, make sure
- 2:28Speaker 2: you find our address.
- 2:29Speaker 1: It's in our discord.
- 2:30Speaker 2: You can find that if you sign up at patron
- 2:32Speaker 2: dot com slash therapy. We love opening up cards during
- 2:36Speaker 2: this festive season. But we've got some great questions for
- 2:39Speaker 2: you today to get you through your holidays, and the
- 2:42Speaker 2: first one here is titled Masking and High Functioning ADHD
- 2:48Speaker 2: from our friend Matthias van der Brampt Dear pod Therapy
- 2:52Speaker 2: guys and gal. I've struggled at times with keeping my
- 2:55Speaker 2: attention focused on tasks, especially when they are dull or repetitive.
- 3:00Speaker 2: This didn't cause any real problems when I was in school,
- 3:03Speaker 2: as I still did very well academically, usually scoring at
- 3:06Speaker 2: the top of the class during elementary and high school.
- 3:09Speaker 2: Feedback to my parents was always the same. He daydreams
- 3:13Speaker 2: and doesn't pay much attention, but always knows the answer
- 3:15Speaker 2: to questions and is quiet in class. At some point
- 3:18Speaker 2: I was tested for attention problems, but I recall this
- 3:21Speaker 2: test being new and exciting, and thus it had my
- 3:24Speaker 2: full attention and didn't show any issues.
- 3:27Speaker 1: In the universe, h's a test with a dangling light
- 3:30Speaker 1: on it.
- 3:31Speaker 2: He's doing so well in the university. As the academic
- 3:36Speaker 2: difficulty increased, I struggled. I couldn't keep going on what
- 3:40Speaker 2: I couldn't keep going on what I could remember or
- 3:44Speaker 2: pick up in one go, and studying was an agony
- 3:48Speaker 2: of wretching my attention, wrenching my attention to my textbooks.
- 3:52Speaker 2: I was forced to drop my first choice physics after
- 3:54Speaker 2: two years, and eventually barely made it to the end
- 3:57Speaker 2: of a master's in engineering. I know that I'll lot
- 4:00Speaker 2: of my fellows put in more real effort studying to
- 4:02Speaker 2: get there, But at the same time, I was fighting
- 4:05Speaker 2: my focus, and it gave me the feeling I could
- 4:07Speaker 2: have gotten much further if only I had discipline. That
- 4:11Speaker 2: time is behind me. Now I've been working for several
- 4:13Speaker 2: years and it seems the same pattern repeats. I can
- 4:16Speaker 2: do my work very quickly, but I can't bring myself
- 4:19Speaker 2: to focus on doing boring improvements or studying for certifications.
- 4:23Speaker 2: I wonder often if perhaps I do have an attention deficit.
- 4:27Speaker 1: I did make it through the six hour ADHD episodes,
- 4:30Speaker 1: then you don't done, You're cured.
- 4:34Speaker 2: I did make it through those six hours of ADHD episodes,
- 4:37Speaker 2: but I was hiking at the same time and not
- 4:39Speaker 2: everything stuck. Never mind, you do have ANHD. Is there
- 4:44Speaker 2: the possibility I actually have a problem? Does it make
- 4:47Speaker 2: sense to try and get it tested? When I still
- 4:49Speaker 2: perform well despite it? It's not really a clinically significant
- 4:53Speaker 2: amount of distress, as y'all say. When it doesn't cripple
- 4:56Speaker 2: my life, I still perform above average. All these thoughts
- 4:59Speaker 2: were brought to the forefront by a recent article titled
- 5:02Speaker 2: sex and Intelligent Quotient differences in age of diagnosis among
- 5:07Speaker 2: youth with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, and the DOI is listed.
- 5:11Speaker 2: I don't have the correct academic background to assess the
- 5:14Speaker 2: quality of the work, but it recognized myself in parts
- 5:17Speaker 2: of it, I guess. In the end, the question is
- 5:19Speaker 2: if I have been masking ADHD by having enough academic
- 5:23Speaker 2: reserve to get by. Thank you for considering my rambling question,
- 5:27Speaker 2: your friend Matthias van der Brandt. Oh, Matthias, I got
- 5:32Speaker 2: nothing but good news for you, buddy. What is it
- 5:34Speaker 2: you sat through that entire six hour episode? Yes, that
- 5:39Speaker 2: means you do not have ADHD and you win the
- 5:43Speaker 2: rec You are the only person in history to have
- 5:46Speaker 2: watched it. Yeah, you have an attention surplus disorder. You
- 5:51Speaker 2: have too much attention. You are capable of grabbing a
- 5:54Speaker 2: mosquito out of the air with chopsticks.
- 5:56Speaker 1: That is where you are at while you're hiking.
- 5:59Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and chuggling and solving a riddle and reading
- 6:02Speaker 2: a book.
- 6:03Speaker 1: That is the level.
- 6:04Speaker 3: Did you look up the article?
- 6:07Speaker 1: I did.
- 6:08Speaker 2: Okay, that's that sounds I just looked just now.
- 6:13Speaker 3: So Yeah. Basically what I saw is that higher i
- 6:16Speaker 3: Q was related to a later age of diagnosis.
- 6:21Speaker 1: That would make sense, and.
- 6:21Speaker 3: That higher hyperactive impulsive symptoms and externalizing symptoms were related
- 6:26Speaker 3: to an earlier age of diagnosis, which is kind of
- 6:29Speaker 3: where my mind went. I was like, why know, really
- 6:31Speaker 3: intelligent people who still like struggled in but they did
- 6:35Speaker 3: display those outward hyperactive not so much like an attentive
- 6:39Speaker 3: as the old school diagnosed went.
- 6:41Speaker 2: Yeah, the old school diagnosis. It's funny because if you
- 6:44Speaker 2: really want to get back into the history of ADHD,
- 6:47Speaker 2: which we all do like telling, it appears first in
- 6:50Speaker 2: d S.
- 6:52Speaker 1: Actually, well, don't spoil.
- 6:56Speaker 2: Also, my thing is six hours.
- 7:00Speaker 1: Are you telling me love? Actually wasn't. Actually it felt
- 7:07Speaker 1: like six ours.
- 7:08Speaker 2: Yes, Also mine has multiple plotlines such a shitty movie.
- 7:12Speaker 1: How many characters did your ADHD deep dive in just
- 7:16Speaker 1: one monologue? I do it in a Morgan Freeman voice.
- 7:20Speaker 3: Maybe maybe the ADHD is why I like love actually juggling.
- 7:25Speaker 1: It was a tall drunk of water. But yeah, so
- 7:29Speaker 1: it first appears in DA Sometimes.
- 7:30Speaker 2: I thought they were watching penguins. And in that one
- 7:35Speaker 2: it talks about it as like the child running as
- 7:37Speaker 2: if on a motor right, and so you're right, like
- 7:39Speaker 2: those externalized ADHD symptoms. The kid can't sit down, they're bumbling,
- 7:43Speaker 2: they're fumbling, they're touching their fiddling constantly, super obvious, right,
- 7:47Speaker 2: and and that usually has those same ramifications of like, Okay,
- 7:51Speaker 2: they're not getting work done. They're a disciplined problem in
- 7:53Speaker 2: the class. So that causes that clinically significant amount of
- 7:56Speaker 2: distress criteria, and pretty quickly this stuff gets diagnosed. But
- 8:00Speaker 2: Matthias is talking about I think what you're referencing there,
- 8:02Speaker 2: Whitney is, yeah, whenever, they're internalized symptoms, so they're not
- 8:06Speaker 2: really bothering anybody. This kid is just flighty and it
- 8:09Speaker 2: has trouble concentrating, but they're not out of their seat,
- 8:11Speaker 2: they're not giving anybody the business that's harder to catch,
- 8:14Speaker 2: and then if they have that, i Q that may make.
- 8:18Speaker 1: Up for it.
- 8:19Speaker 2: So even though they're not able to like focus long
- 8:21Speaker 2: on the text or like sit down and gather intricate information,
- 8:24Speaker 2: their deductive reasoning skills their implications are really strong. They
- 8:28Speaker 2: gather data just naturally. They're kind of a sponge and
- 8:30Speaker 2: they're just getting it right a lot of the time,
- 8:33Speaker 2: and so then nobody ever notes this because their functioning
- 8:36Speaker 2: is so high.
- 8:37Speaker 3: Yeah. So yeah, I mean, I'm going to ask this
- 8:44Speaker 3: like very try to be open minded here because I
- 8:47Speaker 3: feel like it's a little tacky or something.
- 8:49Speaker 2: But I'm very excited. Okay, do we want to take
- 8:56Speaker 2: bids on this? I think it's going to be super racist.
- 9:00Speaker 2: That's kind of what I was thinking. I was right,
- 9:02Speaker 2: there is a lot a lot of Texas, but deep down,
- 9:07Speaker 2: you can't take the Texas out of the girl.
- 9:09Speaker 1: She's going to say, own racist. It's been waiting. She
- 9:13Speaker 1: had that in the back of her mouth all year.
- 9:16Speaker 2: But she's only racist against the Dutch.
- 9:18Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, it's very specific. Dude. That's a real
- 9:20Speaker 1: thing to hate. It is. It's hilarious racist example against
- 9:27Speaker 1: I grew up in Iowa, like up in the northwest Iowa. Yes,
- 9:34Speaker 1: I remember as a kid, like my my family or whatever,
- 9:38Speaker 1: we're talking about Hollanders and I was like, I was like,
- 9:42Speaker 1: what's a Hollander? You know.
- 9:48Speaker 3: The names, and like a yeah, yeah, but.
- 9:52Speaker 1: I was like, well Kurts my uncle his last name. Yeah,
- 9:58Speaker 1: but then then somebody of my family, Yeah, but he's
- 10:00Speaker 1: one of the good ones. Yes, every time. That's fantastic.
- 10:07Speaker 1: But like that's what happens when your your group is
- 10:10Speaker 1: so white, right, yeah.
- 10:14Speaker 2: Yeah, that's fantastic.
- 10:20Speaker 1: Anyway, those guys eat Hellman's mannaise like animals.
- 10:24Speaker 3: Instead of what dukes.
- 10:29Speaker 1: All right, sorry, go on, we were sorry you got
- 10:32Speaker 1: in the way.
- 10:32Speaker 3: No, I I hate asking this even in in sessions,
- 10:37Speaker 3: but I will sometimes still anyway, because my question would
- 10:41Speaker 3: be like why do you want to get or not
- 10:44Speaker 3: saying they want to get diagnosed, but why? Why is
- 10:46Speaker 3: this important?
- 10:49Speaker 1: Yeah?
- 10:51Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm glad we cut that out. I'm glad that
- 10:57Speaker 2: nobody heard that because we removed it.
- 11:00Speaker 3: Because when I ask people that in session, like sometimes
- 11:03Speaker 3: it's received well, but sometimes it feels a little like
- 11:06Speaker 3: what do you mean, Like you're trying to tell me
- 11:08Speaker 3: I just live with these symptoms, you know, yeah, exactly,
- 11:12Speaker 3: But genuinely the question is why is that important if
- 11:16Speaker 3: you're functioning okay like you've said and all that, And
- 11:19Speaker 3: so I'm not saying like, oh, don't go get a
- 11:21Speaker 3: diagnosis or whatever, but I'm just curious, like, well, you're.
- 11:25Speaker 2: Bringing up a good point. It's been a long time
- 11:27Speaker 2: since we've talked about why ADHD is unique among diagnostics
- 11:30Speaker 2: than other things, because like in today's day and age,
- 11:33Speaker 2: it's an identity thing and so for a lot of people,
- 11:36Speaker 2: which is why your question is not you know, means
- 11:38Speaker 2: it's genuinely curious because unlike other things, somebody doesn't We
- 11:43Speaker 2: don't have a lot of patients coming in wondering if
- 11:45Speaker 2: they have generalized anxiety disorder because they see it as
- 11:47Speaker 2: part of who they are. That doesn't come up very much,
- 11:50Speaker 2: you know, or like, hey, I want to know if
- 11:51Speaker 2: I have depression because I wonder if that's who I
- 11:54Speaker 2: really am? Do I have a different kind of brain
- 11:57Speaker 2: that thinks depression And it's like no, because the other
- 12:01Speaker 2: diagnoses don't really work that way. Whereas autism and ADHD,
- 12:05Speaker 2: you know, are neurodevelopmental diagnoses and in common parlance, we
- 12:09Speaker 2: talk about neurodivergence and things like that. It's seen as
- 12:11Speaker 2: a culture and like a way of being and it's
- 12:14Speaker 2: become also a sube.
- 12:15Speaker 3: That's a point.
- 12:15Speaker 2: And so there's a lot of people that do come
- 12:17Speaker 2: in and ask us like, hey, can I diagnose? Would
- 12:19Speaker 2: you diagnose this? And I think it's natural for us
- 12:22Speaker 2: to ask because we get plenty of people that are
- 12:24Speaker 2: asking out of genuine curiosity, not because there is something
- 12:29Speaker 2: that's happening in their life and they're here to get
- 12:31Speaker 2: help with it. Some people come in and go, I
- 12:33Speaker 2: think I have this and I need help for it.
- 12:36Speaker 2: More often we have people that come in and go,
- 12:37Speaker 2: I just want to know if this is who I am?
- 12:40Speaker 1: You know what, Like the longer we go like, I'm
- 12:42Speaker 1: wondering if I have it?
- 12:44Speaker 3: Yeah, I do too.
- 12:46Speaker 2: Every time Jim speaks and zone just zone out.
- 12:51Speaker 1: Jim starts talking, I'm just like, maybe Jim gives people
- 12:54Speaker 1: I think patients zero.
- 13:02Speaker 4: What You're really boring, dude, They were testing all of us,
- 13:07Speaker 4: But I can I can relate to this like in
- 13:09Speaker 4: my life now, like you know, at work or even
- 13:13Speaker 4: stuff I don't know, just things that I have to do.
- 13:17Speaker 1: It just takes a lot.
- 13:19Speaker 3: Yeah, like how much is this normal? Like I don't
- 13:23Speaker 3: want to do this boring ass task. I don't like,
- 13:25Speaker 3: you know, cleaning my floors either sucks.
- 13:28Speaker 2: Yeah, well, and I think there's also something to be
- 13:31Speaker 2: said for this. So like I was tested for HD
- 13:33Speaker 2: as a surprising nobody, and yeah, they said I had it.
- 13:37Speaker 2: But my mom wasn't gonna let me take drugs because
- 13:39Speaker 2: she's lame.
- 13:40Speaker 1: She just hit me a lot and solf.
- 13:42Speaker 2: That worked, Southern justice, That's how the Baptists raised their kids.
- 13:46Speaker 1: She actually had a really good technique. Yeah, backhand, like
- 13:52Speaker 1: she was on the show.
- 13:56Speaker 3: I like this stuck with me speech.
- 14:00Speaker 1: My people will not stand for this.
- 14:02Speaker 3: If you're listening, Nick, and I remember.
- 14:04Speaker 1: We were listening. Yeah, because if she had something important
- 14:07Speaker 1: to tell you, she would touch you. Yeah, with the
- 14:10Speaker 1: back of her hand. Yeah, abruptly swinging motion with a spoon.
- 14:18Speaker 1: You'll switch No, But like that's a technique, you know,
- 14:21Speaker 1: to kind of get somebody.
- 14:22Speaker 3: To test for the reading, like playing the audiobook and
- 14:25Speaker 3: the Yeah, if.
- 14:26Speaker 2: She tries that. She still does that to this day.
- 14:28Speaker 2: Like if she's talking to you, yeah, that too. We'll
- 14:31Speaker 2: be driving get it. And like while while I'm driving
- 14:34Speaker 2: and she's sitting next to me, and you know, we'll
- 14:35Speaker 2: be chatting. Sometimes I'll get distracted, like I'll be listening
- 14:39Speaker 2: to the radio while she's talking.
- 14:41Speaker 1: Distracted by the road and you need to listen to me. Yeah,
- 14:44Speaker 1: And I like to hang my head out the window.
- 14:46Speaker 1: You know that it feels good, so good at my nostrils.
- 14:51Speaker 2: But no, I mean, like for the writer on this one,
- 14:54Speaker 2: I think that there is value to getting a test done.
- 14:57Speaker 2: But one of the things that I think, and this
- 14:59Speaker 2: is one of the things I really joyed about the
- 15:00Speaker 2: ADHD Deep Dive the misinformation the public has about how
- 15:05Speaker 2: testing occurs. And it's one of these things that's very
- 15:08Speaker 2: difficult to decide, Like we don't have an objective measure
- 15:13Speaker 2: that says yes or no. And a lot of people
- 15:15Speaker 2: are surprised by that because the way we talk about
- 15:17Speaker 2: this culturally now is that it is a way of
- 15:20Speaker 2: being that you are neurodivergent, that this is a fact
- 15:23Speaker 2: about you, like having red hair, or doing a twenty
- 15:25Speaker 2: three ae meters and discovering that you're you know, Ukrainian
- 15:28Speaker 2: or something like. People believe it's that objectively able to
- 15:31Speaker 2: be detective. It's not true, we have all we do
- 15:36Speaker 2: have assessments like scale assessments. We also usually pair that
- 15:40Speaker 2: with interviews, interviews of like the children's teachers or people
- 15:43Speaker 2: in their lives, asking them what does it like to
- 15:45Speaker 2: interact with this person? And then we also do a
- 15:48Speaker 2: long form interview with the patient where the therapist is
- 15:51Speaker 2: asking probing questions. But we're also looking for these areas
- 15:54Speaker 2: of disconnect. And it's tricky because culturally we now live
- 15:58Speaker 2: in a world where people want that diagnosis. Because we
- 16:02Speaker 2: talk about this in the Deep Dive. It's validating, yeah,
- 16:06Speaker 2: and it also feels humanizing for many of them because
- 16:08Speaker 2: they're like, Okay, like in Matthiasi's case, if I failed
- 16:11Speaker 2: to reach potentials that I think I'm capable of, but
- 16:15Speaker 2: it turns out my brain works a certain way and
- 16:19Speaker 2: I did the best I could based on how I'm wired,
- 16:22Speaker 2: then there is no shame or guilt for that. I
- 16:24Speaker 2: need to practice acceptance, yes, and that's meaningful, right. And
- 16:28Speaker 2: so we have a lot of people that come in
- 16:31Speaker 2: looking for testing, and now we have you know, typically
- 16:34Speaker 2: most of us an outpatient like Whitney and I, we're
- 16:36Speaker 2: not really doing much of that. I tell people I
- 16:39Speaker 2: won't do a formal assessment, you know. But if I've
- 16:41Speaker 2: worked with you for a while and then you say
- 16:43Speaker 2: something like do you think I have ADHD, I don't
- 16:45Speaker 2: mind giving you some speculation that is I will do yeah, yeah,
- 16:48Speaker 2: and like, yeah, I'm probably right, And it's like, but
- 16:50Speaker 2: I need to go do the full assessment. Not really,
- 16:52Speaker 2: I've met enough like you probably have it. Yeah, And
- 16:55Speaker 2: I always tell people one of the best tests I
- 16:57Speaker 2: have for this is go to your doctor, tell them
- 16:59Speaker 2: you think you have ADHD, and take out all I Okay,
- 17:02Speaker 2: that's how we're going to find that.
- 17:03Speaker 3: I never know if I'm epical saying that, but I
- 17:05Speaker 3: basically do the same shit. I'm like, I'm like, okay,
- 17:08Speaker 3: I'm not a doctor. Go talk to your doctor them.
- 17:11Speaker 1: Yeah, take a bump of this.
- 17:14Speaker 3: Somebody, well, Jim has really good ethics. So I'm a
- 17:19Speaker 3: little nervous. But no, I will literally tell them some
- 17:26Speaker 3: version of a stimulant. I'm like, try it, see how
- 17:28Speaker 3: you feel, because that is like step one to get
- 17:31Speaker 3: a lot of information.
- 17:32Speaker 5: Potentially a prescribe stimulant prescribed yes, yeah, because that that
- 17:35Speaker 5: does teach us a lot.
- 17:36Speaker 2: Because ADHD brains tend to function differently on that. But
- 17:40Speaker 2: you know, writer, I mean the value of the diagnosis.
- 17:43Speaker 1: It depends.
- 17:44Speaker 2: I pick up from some of the way you wrote
- 17:46Speaker 2: this that you might live in North America because you
- 17:49Speaker 2: said university and you.
- 17:50Speaker 3: Know wow culture.
- 17:52Speaker 2: Yeah, I know things. I drink and I know things.
- 17:54Speaker 2: This is how you define Jim. But no, like, I
- 17:57Speaker 2: don't know what the value is in your country. We
- 18:00Speaker 2: had a listener named Heather for a long time that
- 18:02Speaker 2: was telling us how waited for like two years for
- 18:05Speaker 2: an ADHD assessment in Great Britain, And so I assume
- 18:09Speaker 2: it can be very, very difficult here in America. You
- 18:11Speaker 2: can get it the same day. You can walk into
- 18:14Speaker 2: any place and get one. If you want a full
- 18:16Speaker 2: long form assessment. No, well, if you want a full
- 18:18Speaker 2: long form assessment, you're going to have to go to
- 18:20Speaker 2: a clinical psychologist because they like to do testing. But
- 18:23Speaker 2: that's one of the things that's fascinating about the history
- 18:26Speaker 2: of ADHD diagnosis is that in DSM two it was
- 18:29Speaker 2: very clinically high barred. Then DSM three came out and
- 18:33Speaker 2: they specifically rewrote three to not be used by trained
- 18:38Speaker 2: mental health providers because there weren't enough mental health diagnoses
- 18:42Speaker 2: being cast and they thought, okay, DSM two is too
- 18:44Speaker 2: high falutint and it's written for psychiatry and psychologists. So
- 18:48Speaker 2: in three they wrote it for general practitioners, which is
- 18:51Speaker 2: when they really started getting that deductive criteria. And if
- 18:54Speaker 2: you look at the history of the ADHD diagnosis in
- 18:56Speaker 2: three and in three revision, they water it then, and
- 19:01Speaker 2: that's when the flood of eighties and nineties diagnoses start
- 19:05Speaker 2: happening at the pediatric level because it was written for
- 19:08Speaker 2: the average pediatrician to diagnosis, which they started flooding that
- 19:13Speaker 2: market with because it was so back of the envelope
- 19:15Speaker 2: like yep, yes, yes, yes, they all meet criteria right,
- 19:19Speaker 2: And that was before people even wanted that diagnosis. It
- 19:21Speaker 2: was not good, but it was like a damn zodiac
- 19:25Speaker 2: like it was very relatable and they didn't have I
- 19:27Speaker 2: don't think in three they had the clinically significant amount
- 19:30Speaker 2: of stress and the doctors were not trained to get
- 19:32Speaker 2: into differential diagnosis for mental health conditions, so they just
- 19:35Speaker 2: stamped everybody with ADHD. Then four comes out and in
- 19:39Speaker 2: five they've there's been some maneuvering to try to like
- 19:42Speaker 2: adjust for this, but generally in five and in the revision,
- 19:46Speaker 2: the doors have been further widened.
- 19:48Speaker 1: So four created two.
- 19:49Speaker 2: We're not gonna get into this, but four created two
- 19:51Speaker 2: different diagnoses, you know, ADD and ADHD, and then five
- 19:55Speaker 2: just combined everything again and it's created types and so
- 19:57Speaker 2: you just have it and then there's types depressions of it.
- 20:00Speaker 2: But anyway, writer, I mean, I don't see a lot
- 20:04Speaker 2: of practical utility to getting the diagnosis. Also, people misunderstand
- 20:10Speaker 2: diagnoses and they believe that they are somehow telling you
- 20:13Speaker 2: the truth about yourself. Yeah, and really that's not how
- 20:16Speaker 2: we hold them. We hold them very loosely. Mental health
- 20:19Speaker 2: diagnoses work in reverse. They just describe clusters of symptoms.
- 20:23Speaker 2: They don't tell you the cause like a medical diagnoses
- 20:26Speaker 2: tells you the cause. If you say, I have tummy problems,
- 20:29Speaker 2: that's the symptom, But then the cause could be your
- 20:31Speaker 2: lactose intolerant. And when you get diagnosed with lactose intolerance,
- 20:35Speaker 2: you realize, my god, I've learned something about how my
- 20:37Speaker 2: body works. Knowing that cause of my tummy pain informs
- 20:41Speaker 2: the rest of my life. Now I know this about me.
- 20:45Speaker 2: But mental health diagnoses just don't work that way. Even
- 20:47Speaker 2: ADHD does not work that way well, because they're all
- 20:50Speaker 2: about your parents. Yes, it's always about whether your mom
- 20:54Speaker 2: slap you across the face. That's always the diagnosis. But
- 20:56Speaker 2: it also doesn't teach you about yourself. The best we
- 20:59Speaker 2: can ever give you is a summary of your cluster
- 21:03Speaker 2: of symptoms, and if it meets a certain definition, we
- 21:06Speaker 2: will name it. And that's functionally what an ADHD diagnosis is.
- 21:09Speaker 2: We're not telling you how your brain works. We're not
- 21:12Speaker 2: scanning your brain and telling you the kind of person
- 21:14Speaker 2: you are deep down, and it doesn't, you know, truly
- 21:17Speaker 2: define you. I mean, fifty percent of those diagnosed with
- 21:19Speaker 2: ADHD in childhood will grow out of it. They will
- 21:22Speaker 2: eventually be asymptomatic. It will no longer count. But people
- 21:25Speaker 2: are still led to believe in our society that ADHD
- 21:28Speaker 2: diagnosis is who you are. And if you get this
- 21:31Speaker 2: at ten years old, then that is who you are.
- 21:33Speaker 2: That is how your brain works the rest of your life.
- 21:35Speaker 2: There's a lot of misinformation and you know, tiktokisation about
- 21:40Speaker 2: this stuff. Soly Matthias, I don't know that it benefits
- 21:43Speaker 2: you if you're functional, if you suspect you have it,
- 21:45Speaker 2: and as an exercise and curiosity you want to explore it. Okay,
- 21:49Speaker 2: but even as you approach that, you have to hold
- 21:51Speaker 2: it loosely because you self report all of your symptoms.
- 21:54Speaker 2: You answer all the assessment questions, which is really difficult
- 21:58Speaker 2: because we've shown studies that people that want to be
- 22:00Speaker 2: diagnosed with ADHD are Yeah, if we can't blind you,
- 22:04Speaker 2: we can't blind the test. You're going to self report.
- 22:07Speaker 2: There's going to be an influence.
- 22:08Speaker 3: Yeah, and maybe look up different skills that we talk
- 22:12Speaker 3: about when like I say, treating ADHD, but helping people
- 22:17Speaker 3: who do show symptoms of ADHD, helping them function in
- 22:20Speaker 3: their daily lives, maybe, like maybe just trying to apply
- 22:22Speaker 3: some of those like you can go at it assuming like, Okay,
- 22:25Speaker 3: let's assume I do have it. What would I do
- 22:27Speaker 3: if I need to do a task I really don't
- 22:29Speaker 3: want to do?
- 22:30Speaker 2: Yeah, the real violance, Yeah, get.
- 22:32Speaker 3: Hot step one, step one.
- 22:34Speaker 2: Die Whitney's code. No, but your Whitney nailed it. Like
- 22:37Speaker 2: I always tell people, more important than a diagnosis, get
- 22:41Speaker 2: to the solutions. What do people in this community? What
- 22:44Speaker 2: does treatment look like to try to help people improve
- 22:47Speaker 2: their functioning. That's the thing you should be greedy for, Matthias,
- 22:50Speaker 2: because there's a lot of great interventions that you can
- 22:52Speaker 2: use in a lot of great skills. And if you
- 22:54Speaker 2: discover that those things are applicable to your life, that
- 22:57Speaker 2: will really expedite a lot of your work. And you'll
- 22:59Speaker 2: find that if you're trying to like do some things
- 23:01Speaker 2: at your work that you can't typically do, by those measures,
- 23:04Speaker 2: you might be able to accelerate your career or access
- 23:07Speaker 2: some parts of you that you couldn't before.
- 23:09Speaker 1: And I think that, I think it's awesome. I mean
- 23:11Speaker 1: the stuff that you've been able to do already. I know,
- 23:15Speaker 1: you became an engineer. That's so cool.
- 23:16Speaker 2: You send an email to a podcast, Yeah, and you
- 23:19Speaker 2: support one, which is really the most important thing. It's
- 23:23Speaker 2: honestly the best thing you could do for yourself.
- 23:25Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 23:25Speaker 2: Also, if you financially support the show and you ever
- 23:29Speaker 2: write in about how to improve your career, we will
- 23:31Speaker 2: help you.
- 23:32Speaker 1: Okay, we want you to make more money. Little self serving.
- 23:35Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, we assume we get a taste. Okay, if
- 23:38Speaker 2: we help you get a promotion or a raise. I
- 23:40Speaker 2: believe there's a tithe in order. I think first year salary.
- 23:43Speaker 2: You just donate that to the show, just the race,
- 23:46Speaker 2: and you keep the.
- 23:46Speaker 1: Rest a rising tide lifts all boats.
- 23:49Speaker 2: That's how it's supposed to work. But yeah, great question, man,
- 23:51Speaker 2: It's very relatable. But yeah, more interested than the diagnosis.
- 23:55Speaker 2: I would encourage you to start looking into books on
- 23:58Speaker 2: those who live with this, what do they do? Tips, tricks,
- 24:02Speaker 2: websites of support, interventions, workbooks. I would really encourage you
- 24:07Speaker 2: to look into that because that's really going to be
- 24:09Speaker 2: the thing you want anyway more than you want a
- 24:11Speaker 2: yes or no to this. And as an identity marker,
- 24:14Speaker 2: look into the things that help people that live in
- 24:16Speaker 2: patterned way similar to you, because that will be something
- 24:19Speaker 2: that will actually improve your life.
- 24:21Speaker 3: If you want any validation, just go to Reddit and
- 24:23Speaker 3: liked memes. It's my favorite.
- 24:25Speaker 1: No, that's for you later.
- 24:27Speaker 2: I'm like me, me, and don't forget to stop by
- 24:30Speaker 2: Whitney's bagadope dot com.
- 24:32Speaker 1: Get it. The show's brought to you by Whitney's Bagadope
- 24:36Speaker 1: dot com. Served Lukewarm, Yeah, market Price.
- 24:40Speaker 2: We're gonna take a quick break and when we come back,
- 24:42Speaker 2: we're talking about neighbors.
- 24:45Speaker 1: You're listening to podtherapy. Today's episode has brought to you
- 24:49Speaker 1: by then Tom Aliah, Richard Macy, Sonny Boy, Falcon Stoop,
- 24:56Speaker 1: Sandra mcwaffle, Elena sam Cone and j Shiner. And if
- 25:01Speaker 1: you would like to sponsor this show, become a therap
- 25:03Speaker 1: producer dot com Flash Therapy. All right, stress eating around
- 25:10Speaker 1: the world. Okay, here we go, let's just go. Let's
- 25:16Speaker 1: keep our thing going with the order. You're up first. Okay,
- 25:21Speaker 1: what hat is that? I am curious. That's a saint hat?
- 25:24Speaker 1: Oh okay, can you not see that from there? No?
- 25:27Speaker 1: I don't have my glasses. Did you drive here? Yeah,
- 25:32Speaker 1: in your car? I do glasses in mind before me,
- 25:38Speaker 1: because this isn't like we're not This is not fifty
- 25:40Speaker 1: feet no, no, no, no, he's maybe seven feet away. I
- 25:45Speaker 1: have no idea in which country do people consume. Oh
- 25:49Speaker 1: my god, why did you put that in here? Emma?
- 25:52Speaker 2: Yes, big words, nick and a hat level.
- 25:57Speaker 1: Yep, that's what it is. A corn fungus considered a
- 26:02Speaker 1: delicacy often enjoyed during stressful times for its rich flavor.
- 26:08Speaker 1: I'll spell it for you if it matters. H U
- 26:11Speaker 1: I T L A C O C h E.
- 26:16Speaker 2: Who can we use spelling bee? Can we just use
- 26:19Speaker 2: spelling be rules? You use spelling be rules. I would
- 26:23Speaker 2: like country of origin please, oh there you go there, etymology,
- 26:31Speaker 2: I just have to guess a country, so multiple choice, yes, obviously,
- 26:37Speaker 2: in which country do they stress eat the fungus COUCHI.
- 26:43Speaker 1: Yes, pretty much Spain, Mexico, Peru, or Argentina.
- 26:50Speaker 2: My my guests early on was Mexico, so I'll stick
- 26:53Speaker 2: with that.
- 26:54Speaker 1: Okay, let's highlight here and see what we got. You
- 26:59Speaker 1: got Mexico on the board.
- 27:02Speaker 2: Also Mexico listeners send us the kuchi.
- 27:05Speaker 1: We gotta try that. We gotta find out how that
- 27:07Speaker 1: affects the stress that. Yeah, it should be fine. Yeah,
- 27:16Speaker 1: get right through that.
- 27:17Speaker 2: Agricultural stop.
- 27:18Speaker 1: Yeah. What is stargazy pie? A dish where fish heads
- 27:24Speaker 1: protrude through the crust, traditionally eaten to relieve stress during festivals?
- 27:29Speaker 1: In which country Jesus Christ obviously option yeah? Okay, uh,
- 27:35Speaker 1: gret would have been if she was just like, yeah, bamn.
- 27:39Speaker 1: I mean, if there's anybody here that would know it,
- 27:42Speaker 1: it's probably Whitney. Yeah, England, Australia, Canada or New Zealand.
- 27:48Speaker 2: Jesus, I thought it was gonna be like a Scandinavian
- 27:51Speaker 2: That's what I was going to go. I thought it'd
- 27:53Speaker 2: be a Finland and Norway like they'll eat fish heads.
- 27:57Speaker 1: Fucking Dutch.
- 28:00Speaker 3: You said England to Dutch listeners.
- 28:04Speaker 1: I just want you to know that even seven years
- 28:07Speaker 1: I was Yeah, I was clear. I was on your side.
- 28:11Speaker 2: Yeah, A sunny boy is a therap producers. Let's not
- 28:13Speaker 2: fuss this up. We got to keep this been good
- 28:16Speaker 2: to us. Yeah, yeah, we're friends.
- 28:18Speaker 3: Options were Canada, England, New Zealand and what Australia?
- 28:22Speaker 2: Australia and another fish head on the bobby mate.
- 28:26Speaker 3: I guess Canada.
- 28:28Speaker 1: That feels right. That's the most Nordic of all. Sounds
- 28:31Speaker 1: like a nova Scotia. Yeah.
- 28:36Speaker 3: Well, I'm not letting to talk me out of things anymore.
- 28:39Speaker 2: We're talking you into it.
- 28:40Speaker 3: I know. That's why I listen to you.
- 28:42Speaker 2: All right, Yeah, all right, I mean New Zealand needs
- 28:44Speaker 2: a lot.
- 28:45Speaker 3: Of weird.
- 28:48Speaker 2: England but like fish heads is a bridge too far,
- 28:51Speaker 2: seems to flavorable Canada.
- 28:54Speaker 3: You don't don't go with I'm going with Canada.
- 28:57Speaker 5: She does it, she does gets God damn England, England
- 29:02Speaker 5: come on specifically Cornwall, Oh corn, that makes sense.
- 29:08Speaker 1: I forgot about corn.
- 29:10Speaker 2: Yeah, those idiots and Cornwall, Jim.
- 29:12Speaker 1: In which country might you find people eating shiriko.
- 29:16Speaker 2: I think it's hiraco, go on, it might be actually
- 29:19Speaker 2: it is, go On.
- 29:24Speaker 3: He doesn't need options.
- 29:26Speaker 1: They don't even use that racetrack? Which is which is
- 29:31Speaker 1: cod sperm? Used to be a Yeah, that's right. Gods
- 29:38Speaker 1: co considered a delicate delicacy that some believe helps alleviate stress.
- 29:45Speaker 1: What is the country? Oh boy, yeah, I'll need options
- 29:48Speaker 1: on that. Japan, that's gotta Russia.
- 29:54Speaker 2: God damn, fuck yourway.
- 29:59Speaker 1: Those are all viable? Really are shit? Who's eaten fishes?
- 30:08Speaker 1: I feel like the Japanese are doing it. Yeah, let's
- 30:11Speaker 1: go with that. You're sure you don't want to go
- 30:13Speaker 1: to South Korea.
- 30:14Speaker 2: I'm going hard with the Japanese. I think that's it.
- 30:18Speaker 1: Give me Japan that point at both that is disgusting.
- 30:26Speaker 2: You suck at fishes there?
- 30:28Speaker 1: It is? Get it all.
- 30:30Speaker 2: What is everybody's stress food? What is your go to
- 30:33Speaker 2: stressy food?
- 30:35Speaker 1: Craft? Like blue box?
- 30:37Speaker 2: No.
- 30:37Speaker 3: I used to, but it doesn't taste as good I
- 30:39Speaker 3: do annis.
- 30:41Speaker 1: I like with the bunny rabbits are really good.
- 30:44Speaker 3: I try to make it quote healthier by blending cottage
- 30:48Speaker 3: cheese and.
- 30:49Speaker 1: Whoa, that's actually okay.
- 30:50Speaker 6: So thickens it a bit there it is, yeah, okay,
- 30:58Speaker 6: she likes in There is a little bit.
- 31:01Speaker 3: It's wine and creamy.
- 31:04Speaker 1: Dim. There goes the family.
- 31:07Speaker 3: Oh, oh my god, I could eat a whole box.
- 31:12Speaker 2: They're not meant to be eaten by two people. They
- 31:14Speaker 2: are four one, the whole box. The whole box except.
- 31:17Speaker 1: The holiday season right now, Queen and chocolate covered cherries.
- 31:22Speaker 1: You like this? Oh yeah, send me to CVS any day.
- 31:25Speaker 1: I'm coming out with boxes. Those are amazing. I would
- 31:29Speaker 1: eat the ship out of that.
- 31:31Speaker 2: Mine is You go to Trader Joe's and they which
- 31:34Speaker 2: is kind of like our organic store, I don't know,
- 31:36Speaker 2: hippie store whatever. They sell these buckets of these like
- 31:41Speaker 2: peanut butter cups dipped in dark chocolate. I've tried these
- 31:45Speaker 2: and I'll just clean that thing out.
- 31:47Speaker 1: Man.
- 31:48Speaker 2: I'm eating them by the fistful, and each one is
- 31:50Speaker 2: like the size of a half dollar, Like they're pretty big.
- 31:53Speaker 3: Sweet old day, And I don't like sweets, but keep
- 31:56Speaker 3: saying that, But then men, Yeah, I don't know Whicher's Jacob.
- 32:01Speaker 2: Probably like a chip or something like that, like chips
- 32:05Speaker 2: or like nachos or something something that in that category.
- 32:09Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 32:09Speaker 3: I just had the movies. Liquid cheese.
- 32:13Speaker 1: I like that.
- 32:14Speaker 2: I'm not a fan of the liquid cheese, Like the
- 32:17Speaker 2: real cheese just melted a little bit.
- 32:27Speaker 1: Her cottage cheese.
- 32:28Speaker 3: Dip makes it healthier.
- 32:31Speaker 1: Also makes the poops just slide right out.
- 32:33Speaker 3: That's the oil.
- 32:34Speaker 1: I don't even notice she's doing it, just going up
- 32:38Speaker 1: the stairs.
- 32:42Speaker 3: This is great.
- 32:43Speaker 2: I wonder why nobody's ever picked up our show for
- 32:45Speaker 2: some big network. If somebody's chasing movie, she can just
- 32:50Speaker 2: slide one out and they slip on it.
- 32:52Speaker 1: It's like a banana beer. Yeah, it's like the banana Mario.
- 33:00Speaker 1: I've designed a T shirt. Yes, they called her.
- 33:03Speaker 2: They call her beaver tail. That's is what looks like
- 33:05Speaker 2: when it slided out.
- 33:09Speaker 1: Little Whitney pillots all over the book Whitney walkxas.
- 33:20Speaker 3: That's a whole new meaning.
- 33:21Speaker 2: Now, oh, great show, all right. Next question is about neighbors.
- 33:26Speaker 2: Hello pod Therapy the just say the obvious like, Hello
- 33:34Speaker 2: pot Therapy crew. I love the podcast. You all do
- 33:38Speaker 2: such a great job. I've recently realized that one of
- 33:41Speaker 2: the things I find most frustrating with others is probably
- 33:44Speaker 2: a me problem, not a them problem, And I would
- 33:47Speaker 2: love your take. I'm not sure really, what to do
- 33:50Speaker 2: about all this. I've realized a pattern in myself that
- 33:53Speaker 2: I'm extremely uncomfortable interacting with people who would fit into
- 33:56Speaker 2: the box of acquaintances, especially when I'm in my bubble
- 34:00Speaker 2: of where I live. In college, I was assigned roommates
- 34:04Speaker 2: even in my apartments. None of them were pleasant experiences
- 34:08Speaker 2: and all went very poorly for various reasons. I tried
- 34:11Speaker 2: to make friends with each of them to start, but
- 34:13Speaker 2: would eventually do everything in my power to avoid any
- 34:16Speaker 2: interactions with roommates, neighbors, et cetera. I usually ended up
- 34:20Speaker 2: isolating as much as possible. This continued at the condo
- 34:23Speaker 2: my husband and I lived in before purchasing our house.
- 34:26Speaker 2: We ended up moving partially due to the lack of
- 34:28Speaker 2: peace smelling weed through the walls at all hours of
- 34:31Speaker 2: the day or night, hearing fighting through the walls, et cetera.
- 34:34Speaker 2: Living with friends for a few months a few years
- 34:36Speaker 2: ago was great and I didn't have this experience. Moving
- 34:40Speaker 2: into our house, I thought this was finally over since
- 34:42Speaker 2: we were in a very nice subdivision where lots are
- 34:46Speaker 2: where the lots are fairly large, most are around an acre.
- 34:49Speaker 1: Wow.
- 34:50Speaker 2: Plus we are in our own building. Boy was I wrong.
- 34:53Speaker 2: I found myself actively altering my behavior trying to avoid
- 34:57Speaker 2: the neighbors on one side. If I saw them outside
- 35:00Speaker 2: they have been nothing but kind, but feeling like I'm
- 35:03Speaker 2: required to have a conversation with them anytime we're all
- 35:05Speaker 2: outside is anxiety provoking. We've learned that the neighbors behind
- 35:09Speaker 2: us are not exactly friendly, so no worries about a
- 35:12Speaker 2: forced friendly encounter. However, their kids, all girls, are constantly
- 35:17Speaker 2: outside playing if the weather's anywhere near nice enough. And
- 35:20Speaker 2: when I say playing, I really mean screaming so loud
- 35:24Speaker 2: we can hear them with all the windows and doors
- 35:26Speaker 2: closed all day and late into the evening, to the
- 35:29Speaker 2: point to the point it many times goes on past
- 35:34Speaker 2: when we are trying to sleep. I've had people I
- 35:36Speaker 2: am on video calls with ask what's going on when
- 35:40Speaker 2: I'm sitting inside with all the windows and doors closed.
- 35:42Speaker 2: It's that loud childbrter yikes. Many times the kids are
- 35:46Speaker 2: so mean that one will end up crying and the
- 35:49Speaker 2: parents come out and screaming. This has led to me
- 35:51Speaker 2: feeling so much anxiety about being outside in my yard,
- 35:54Speaker 2: and it makes me feel oddly exposed, even inside my house,
- 35:58Speaker 2: which I hate. I absolutely love being outside when the
- 36:01Speaker 2: weather allows, but never feel that I can. But at
- 36:04Speaker 2: the end of the day, when I have had to
- 36:06Speaker 2: interact with people intimately all day, all I want is
- 36:09Speaker 2: peace and feelings of serenity. I know I'm the asshole
- 36:14Speaker 2: for having an issue with kids playing outside or kind
- 36:17Speaker 2: neighbors trying to strike up a conversation. Anyone I've mentioned
- 36:21Speaker 2: this too has pointed out how I better get used
- 36:23Speaker 2: to it if we're going to have kids, and has
- 36:26Speaker 2: joked that I'm such a grumpy old lady in a
- 36:28Speaker 2: late twenty something body. However, I don't remember constantly screaming
- 36:33Speaker 2: while playing as a kid, nor do I think this
- 36:35Speaker 2: is just being a kid.
- 36:37Speaker 1: I could be wrong.
- 36:38Speaker 2: As we are searching for our forever home, this has
- 36:40Speaker 2: been a major factor. Living with no neighbors anywhere is
- 36:44Speaker 2: not an option. I know that some of this is
- 36:46Speaker 2: a me issue, but I have no idea what to
- 36:49Speaker 2: do about it, or where the lines between valid concerns
- 36:52Speaker 2: and my own shit is? Is it normal to have
- 36:56Speaker 2: these feelings? Any suggestions and thoughts are greatly appreciated. Things
- 37:00Speaker 2: my pronouns are she and her ps. It occurred to
- 37:04Speaker 2: me that a solution that would probably be thrown out
- 37:06Speaker 2: is a fence or shrubs. Unfortunately, our town, as well
- 37:10Speaker 2: as most we would be moving to, does not allow
- 37:12Speaker 2: fences at all unless it is directly around an inground pool.
- 37:17Speaker 2: And we've looked at shrubs. Ones that would actually give
- 37:20Speaker 2: us privacy would cost something like thirty thousand dollars, so
- 37:24Speaker 2: that's also out of the question. Anyway, Thanks again, Anonymous.
- 37:28Speaker 2: There's some plant species that grow really fast, so you
- 37:30Speaker 2: can get small ones that'll grow up into something relatively quickly. Weirdly,
- 37:36Speaker 2: I wasn't thinking fence at all. I went straight to
- 37:39Speaker 2: motion activated sprinklers.
- 37:41Speaker 1: Oh, that'll keep the kids out of the problem. How
- 37:43Speaker 1: I knew that you would be good answering this question. Yeah,
- 37:45Speaker 1: robot scent.
- 37:49Speaker 3: Sniper towernkler. I know, I don't know the rules around
- 37:58Speaker 3: the fences, but I kind of.
- 38:00Speaker 1: Could put in a pool. There you go. You yeah,
- 38:04Speaker 1: you can put it in a boat. Call on a pool,
- 38:06Speaker 1: put a fence around it. Problem solved. Thanks anyway, rider,
- 38:10Speaker 1: take care. We can't afford the shrugs. We could afford
- 38:14Speaker 1: the moat. You could take a moat. You could afford
- 38:18Speaker 1: a shovel. Can't you.
- 38:21Speaker 3: Like I wonder what rules are around like just a
- 38:23Speaker 3: little privacy fence around like a back porch or something,
- 38:27Speaker 3: you know what I mean, Like or if you had
- 38:28Speaker 3: a back patio or deck built on, could you do
- 38:31Speaker 3: plants like around there? It limits you to your own yard.
- 38:34Speaker 3: And I get that that's annoying.
- 38:35Speaker 1: But I had a deck in Iowa. We had a
- 38:38Speaker 1: huge deck, like it was the biggest deck in town. Huge.
- 38:42Speaker 1: They called him Big Deck Nick. It was. There was
- 38:45Speaker 1: like three levels to it. It had a gazebo built
- 38:47Speaker 1: in in the center. Yeah, it's actually actually the it
- 38:51Speaker 1: was ribbed. It was the size.
- 38:55Speaker 3: Of our main floor living room, like widthwise, the whole thing, oving.
- 39:00Speaker 1: Room, kitchen, square footage. It was the entire lower like
- 39:04Speaker 1: it was that big on one side. So great there
- 39:12Speaker 1: really is, I mean it was it was. It wasn't
- 39:15Speaker 1: very long, but it was girthy. Yeah yeah, yeah, satisfying
- 39:19Speaker 1: is what you're trying to say.
- 39:20Speaker 7: Yeah, very sat It was a lot what color was
- 39:25Speaker 7: it was brown, a big brown deck. I like those,
- 39:33Speaker 7: And there was we put up lattice on one side
- 39:35Speaker 7: of it. That's what it doesn't do anything for noise.
- 39:38Speaker 1: Yeah, the noise does allow private right, Yeah.
- 39:41Speaker 2: So there, Nick's had a sharp tip on it, but
- 39:43Speaker 2: they nipped the tip. Yeah, cut that away. Yeah, yeah,
- 39:47Speaker 2: you throw that away. That was just part of our culture,
- 39:49Speaker 2: the landscape when it was brand new. Yeah, that's when
- 39:53Speaker 2: you toss it away. This is a very veguus question
- 39:57Speaker 2: because I don't know. I mean, with the exception of
- 39:58Speaker 2: probably Jacob, three of us, if you live anywhere in Vegas, dude,
- 40:03Speaker 2: you could hear every goddamn thing.
- 40:05Speaker 1: Yeah, because we can. You can stand in our backyards
- 40:08Speaker 1: and reach the next and our homes are built of
- 40:11Speaker 1: like wood and dry wall, right, like stuck up a stirefox, sir,
- 40:17Speaker 1: what do you call it? Yeah, the stucko.
- 40:18Speaker 2: Yeah, like a wire mash. And when I lived in Texas,
- 40:21Speaker 2: we had a brick house and that house was on
- 40:24Speaker 2: like a half acre or something like that. And like
- 40:26Speaker 2: if you were yelling in your house, your neighbors couldn't
- 40:28Speaker 2: hear that, Like that would never come through.
- 40:30Speaker 1: I hear when my neighbor runs the vacuum. Really, yeah, dude,
- 40:34Speaker 1: that's a lot. That is a lot.
- 40:36Speaker 3: I don't hear that from I'm going.
- 40:39Speaker 1: That's one hundred percent. Are you sure it's not your
- 40:41Speaker 1: son running back?
- 40:42Speaker 2: It's not like they're on one opposite house and I'm
- 40:45Speaker 2: on the opposite People run there.
- 40:49Speaker 1: Himself. It's not poor like me.
- 40:50Speaker 2: What if I'm in the room adjacent to their house
- 40:54Speaker 2: and they are vacuuming in the room adjacent to my house,
- 40:57Speaker 2: I can hear it.
- 40:58Speaker 3: I have thought the way that my health to set
- 41:00Speaker 3: up relative to my neighbors. They're like rooms or living
- 41:03Speaker 3: spaces are not really next to my house, like they're
- 41:06Speaker 3: set up further away. But I have I stressed about
- 41:10Speaker 3: this a lot because when you buy a house or
- 41:13Speaker 3: even just renting, you're like, I am committing two years
- 41:16Speaker 3: here potentially, yeah, you're and you don't get to choose
- 41:19Speaker 3: your neighbors like they're just there, and especially when you
- 41:22Speaker 3: buy like I don't know, basically my thoughts were. You
- 41:26Speaker 3: said you couldn't look for your forever home in the
- 41:29Speaker 3: middle of nowhere. You're gonna have to have neighbors. You
- 41:32Speaker 3: can't do a fence. I recommend looking for a house
- 41:35Speaker 3: built in the nineties because all those people are original
- 41:38Speaker 3: owners and they're very quiet because they're all seventy and
- 41:41Speaker 3: eighty years old. I think I'm the youngest person in
- 41:44Speaker 3: my neighborhood. We had comments all the time, die that's okay.
- 41:47Speaker 3: The people that I thought that too, But the young
- 41:50Speaker 3: people that move in are forty and fifty. It's very
- 41:53Speaker 3: interesting because yeah, so.
- 41:55Speaker 2: My the Whitney's solution is segregation. So we've got we've
- 42:04Speaker 2: got motion detecting sprinklers, build a moat.
- 42:07Speaker 1: Yet we're doing good.
- 42:09Speaker 2: We got a lot of suggestions that none for your buck, right,
- 42:13Speaker 2: none of them are therapy, like the thing we're probably
- 42:17Speaker 2: good at.
- 42:18Speaker 1: No, you're getting our landscape suggestions. This is where we
- 42:21Speaker 1: can solve your problem.
- 42:22Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know. My mind goes to with
- 42:25Speaker 3: the noise that the kids. I mean, can you do
- 42:27Speaker 3: noise complaints?
- 42:28Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know if you can do that.
- 42:30Speaker 1: I want to be that person.
- 42:31Speaker 3: I mean kids playing the kids, the kids, the parent
- 42:34Speaker 3: comes out screaming at them. In my opinion, it's like
- 42:37Speaker 3: the parents screaming out their kids're.
- 42:38Speaker 1: Gonna be screaming at you. You go over there on
- 42:40Speaker 1: their door.
- 42:40Speaker 2: That's the thing is like, you can you can go
- 42:42Speaker 2: the route of putting up you know, like a no
- 42:44Speaker 2: trespassing sign and everything and give them notice and all,
- 42:47Speaker 2: and then you can have people trespassed from your property
- 42:50Speaker 2: and like that's it's a lot. But if it's if
- 42:54Speaker 2: it's you're enough.
- 42:56Speaker 1: I thought they were coming on to the to the
- 42:57Speaker 1: writer's property the way I is like vision there.
- 43:02Speaker 3: You know those houses you I've seen in pictures. Listeners
- 43:06Speaker 3: can tell me.
- 43:08Speaker 1: It's like in.
- 43:08Speaker 3: Minnesota and places where these houses just exist and there
- 43:12Speaker 3: are no fences for these yards. And I always wonder,
- 43:15Speaker 3: I'm like, how do you go enjoy your yard to
- 43:17Speaker 3: meet you don't?
- 43:18Speaker 1: Like it's just that's yeah, that's every most houses in Iowa,
- 43:22Speaker 1: like our house.
- 43:23Speaker 3: We had hunt in Texas, everyone's got a fence, no
- 43:26Speaker 3: no one, so they know when they can shoot. You
- 43:32Speaker 3: had a fence, so weird, So what did you You
- 43:34Speaker 3: just ran around everyone's yard or yeah?
- 43:37Speaker 1: Yeah? And see that's the thing is like you know,
- 43:39Speaker 1: if they were outside, we talked to them, and it's
- 43:42Speaker 1: it's but that's also Midwest culture, you know, like you
- 43:45Speaker 1: know Gary and Karen lived right there, they've lived right there,
- 43:48Speaker 1: and Nate lived down there, and the Melchers lived right here.
- 43:53Speaker 1: Brought you together, yeah, and so like you know, if
- 43:55Speaker 1: they were outside, were just sit and talking and like
- 43:58Speaker 1: we had a bonfire out in the back and so would.
- 44:00Speaker 1: It wouldn't be uncommon that, you know, if at night
- 44:03Speaker 1: we were out there and one of them came out,
- 44:06Speaker 1: they would just yeah, they'd just come over and they
- 44:07Speaker 1: were just yeah, it was kind of nice. But here's
- 44:12Speaker 1: the thing, like, not everybody is like that, you know,
- 44:15Speaker 1: like some people like Jim would not do well in that.
- 44:19Speaker 3: So if you had a neighbor Nick who just like
- 44:21Speaker 3: kind of walked into their house and just like gave
- 44:24Speaker 3: you a wave and then went inside, would you be
- 44:26Speaker 3: like that guy's so rude or would you just like
- 44:28Speaker 3: that's just billy.
- 44:29Speaker 1: He's me looking at it now, I just yeah, I
- 44:33Speaker 1: would think like I wouldn't think anything of it because
- 44:36Speaker 1: I live in Vegas.
- 44:37Speaker 3: Yeah, that's why I feel like rude.
- 44:40Speaker 1: It would yeah, I mean not necessarily rude, but you
- 44:43Speaker 1: were just kind of like, huh, well, that person's not
- 44:45Speaker 1: very friendly. See.
- 44:46Speaker 3: That's what's hard because I agree in Vegas, I wouldn't
- 44:48Speaker 3: think anything of it, like, oh, they just want to
- 44:50Speaker 3: keep to themselves.
- 44:51Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, I appreciate that my neighbors don't talk to me.
- 44:54Speaker 2: That's lamy.
- 44:56Speaker 1: I don't want that. But if if they ever like
- 45:01Speaker 1: you know, waved and walked inside I probably wouldn't think
- 45:03Speaker 1: anything of it. Yeah, if they never looked over, they
- 45:06Speaker 1: never waved, they never did anything, they just kept themselves,
- 45:08Speaker 1: then yes, I would think like, oh, that's.
- 45:11Speaker 2: The same neighbors for the entire time I've owned the house,
- 45:15Speaker 2: which is coming up on ten years now.
- 45:18Speaker 1: It's actress.
- 45:19Speaker 2: No idea, no, no, they the docs gym. I have
- 45:22Speaker 2: no idea what their names are.
- 45:24Speaker 3: I you don't know your neighbors names.
- 45:26Speaker 1: Nope, not an idea.
- 45:28Speaker 2: We have seen them if we are all in our
- 45:31Speaker 2: houses are quite close, and if if we are outside
- 45:34Speaker 2: in our driveways, like we have a little like shared
- 45:38Speaker 2: like piece of land between our two driveways where we
- 45:40Speaker 2: put trash cans and so like, if we are in
- 45:43Speaker 2: proximity to each other, and if they're out there doing
- 45:46Speaker 2: something in their yard or now I'm out there playing
- 45:48Speaker 2: with my kid, we will be that close and never
- 45:51Speaker 2: ever acknowledge each other, never look at each other. Don't
- 45:55Speaker 2: now not now. The neighbor on the other side, they'll
- 45:59Speaker 2: walk their doll And I've known them for years only
- 46:02Speaker 2: because they came over and introduced themselves, and then I
- 46:04Speaker 2: try not to talk to them, but they always try
- 46:05Speaker 2: to talk to me, so like I'll be walking in
- 46:07Speaker 2: to my car and like, hey, Jim, how's it going,
- 46:08Speaker 2: And I'm like like I just like look down at
- 46:11Speaker 2: my feet and like togency, I gotta go. But like
- 46:14Speaker 2: they'll they'll always say like hi, you doing, and they're
- 46:16Speaker 2: a very nice Indian family. But like I just I
- 46:19Speaker 2: don't want to talk to people like out in the world.
- 46:22Speaker 2: It's because you're afraid you'll give them a DHD.
- 46:24Speaker 1: There's that.
- 46:25Speaker 2: I have a responsibility, man, Patient zero. You just strike
- 46:29Speaker 2: up a conversation with your neighbors.
- 46:31Speaker 3: Yeah, I did it yesterday today.
- 46:33Speaker 2: The FU is wrong with you people. You'd be the
- 46:35Speaker 2: worst neighbors. I'm so sad to live next I'm a
- 46:39Speaker 2: great nighbor because I don't talk to it.
- 46:40Speaker 1: I'll talk to them unless they talk to me.
- 46:42Speaker 2: Okay, if they instigate a conversation, like I'll like yell
- 46:45Speaker 2: hello or something. Sure, and that's the extent that I'm instigating. Yeah,
- 46:49Speaker 2: but if they if they strike up a conversation, I'll
- 46:51Speaker 2: stand there and have a conversation.
- 46:52Speaker 1: I don't talk to my neighbors, and it does bother me.
- 46:54Speaker 1: Wheel I feel terrible about it. Wait, I feel do
- 46:58Speaker 1: you mean what? Cause I feel like, I don't know.
- 47:02Speaker 1: I just feel rude. I just feel like it's like
- 47:05Speaker 1: I the fact that I've lived across the street from
- 47:08Speaker 1: somebody and I don't know them, I feel like that's
- 47:12Speaker 1: just a bad thing.
- 47:12Speaker 2: I just feel like kidding me, that feels correct.
- 47:16Speaker 1: Why do you need to know him? I don't have
- 47:19Speaker 1: anything to do with his life. Leave him alone. We
- 47:21Speaker 1: share a street. That's it.
- 47:23Speaker 2: It's not entitled you to anything. Okay, you stand on
- 47:25Speaker 2: your side of that fucking street.
- 47:27Speaker 1: But I do agree with knowing them.
- 47:29Speaker 2: Whenever you have to return their mail, like you know,
- 47:31Speaker 2: you get the mail and it's it's wrongly delivered.
- 47:33Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I'll do that.
- 47:35Speaker 2: But you know what you have to do now is
- 47:37Speaker 2: because everybody has a ring doorbell. It's like I'll walk
- 47:39Speaker 2: up to the ring doorbell like, you know, wave because I.
- 47:41Speaker 3: Don't even know what work. I feel most awkward doing that,
- 47:43Speaker 3: Like can you're meant to like that's how yea? Even
- 47:48Speaker 3: the elderly couple.
- 47:49Speaker 1: Yeah, especially straight up to him. And because they don't
- 47:51Speaker 1: know how to change my.
- 47:52Speaker 3: Fault settings and they don't know how to post it
- 47:55Speaker 3: on the internet phone, there was movement.
- 48:03Speaker 1: Yeah, so I guess Here's the other thing, too, writer,
- 48:06Speaker 1: is you kind of I mean you kind of have
- 48:08Speaker 1: to pick your battles here because I mean, assuming you
- 48:12Speaker 1: do live someplace like Iowa or in the Midwest, you
- 48:15Speaker 1: know where you know that you can keep to yourself,
- 48:18Speaker 1: and that may be good for you, But then you
- 48:20Speaker 1: also kind of wonder too, like by doing so, does
- 48:23Speaker 1: that make the problem worse and does it make it
- 48:25Speaker 1: more awkward or would you be better off just you know, hi,
- 48:29Speaker 1: how you doing, and go inside and just kind of
- 48:32Speaker 1: keep your distance that way, but still have.
- 48:34Speaker 3: To be overly friendly conversation you can smile and not
- 48:39Speaker 3: doesn't for me.
- 48:40Speaker 1: I don't like that.
- 48:41Speaker 2: Like if I see you out there and we're both
- 48:43Speaker 2: you know, why do we need to go meet and
- 48:46Speaker 2: talk pass by and be oh, hey, Jim, hey, how
- 48:49Speaker 2: you doing?
- 48:50Speaker 1: Great to see him? That's exactly what I said.
- 48:53Speaker 2: No, you want to go knock on people's doors and
- 48:55Speaker 2: ask them how they're.
- 48:56Speaker 3: Doing and trying their bonfire?
- 48:59Speaker 2: You want to bring him a cast roll?
- 49:01Speaker 1: No, no, no, you do. That's what I want to do.
- 49:04Speaker 1: But that wasn't my suggest.
- 49:05Speaker 2: You're deep Midwestern pones are begging to make this person
- 49:08Speaker 2: a cast roll.
- 49:11Speaker 3: When I moved to Las Vegas in twenty ten. I
- 49:14Speaker 3: literally was like, I'm going to bring my neighbors some cookie.
- 49:17Speaker 3: I'm going to get to know. This is why I'm
- 49:19Speaker 3: wanting to.
- 49:20Speaker 1: Answer the door. If I saw you out, I wouldn't answer.
- 49:23Speaker 3: The This is what this guy did. He had to
- 49:25Speaker 3: be close to our age, like so mid twenties or whatever,
- 49:28Speaker 3: and I like knock on the door and he like
- 49:30Speaker 3: cracks the door. His dogs down there looks like a
- 49:32Speaker 3: scary dog. I was like, okay, I'm like, hi, we
- 49:34Speaker 3: live next door in when he's like okay, and then
- 49:36Speaker 3: he just like takes the cookies and never talks.
- 49:38Speaker 1: To me again. Have that guy take the cookies and
- 49:40Speaker 1: then we.
- 49:41Speaker 3: Smell those dogs shit in our backyard every time it rained,
- 49:43Speaker 3: like thanks, bring cookies again.
- 49:47Speaker 1: Yes, I had a similar experience. I didn't bake anybody cookies,
- 49:50Speaker 1: but somebody but he didn't shit there.
- 49:53Speaker 3: That was the snow.
- 49:56Speaker 1: Somebody did Uber eats and they got like some Starbucks delivered,
- 49:59Speaker 1: but it came to our house. So I was like, okay,
- 50:01Speaker 1: well this is an ours. So I went to the
- 50:04Speaker 1: house next door, door to door delivering in coffee and
- 50:07Speaker 1: so one person I knew they were in there, but
- 50:09Speaker 1: they wouldn't come to the door. And then I go
- 50:11Speaker 1: to the other house and she did come to the door,
- 50:14Speaker 1: but she cracked it open a little bit. She was
- 50:15Speaker 1: so suspicious and she was like, what are you doing? What?
- 50:19Speaker 3: What?
- 50:19Speaker 1: What is it? Yeah, this came this is this yours?
- 50:22Speaker 1: A cat delivered It's not ours. No, it's not mine.
- 50:24Speaker 1: I don't know. Closed the door. It's like, yeah, I
- 50:26Speaker 1: don't know.
- 50:27Speaker 2: That is a West Coast thing, man, that's weird. There
- 50:29Speaker 2: was a kid that was like an elder teenage kid
- 50:32Speaker 2: maybe early you know, I don't know, like late teens,
- 50:36Speaker 2: early twenties. That's where I'm going.
- 50:38Speaker 1: LDS elder Matthew Elders button up time. He was selling
- 50:48Speaker 1: some bullshit. It was a book.
- 50:55Speaker 2: This kid went to my house and I pull up
- 50:58Speaker 2: my car and he's standing in front of my door
- 51:00Speaker 2: in the doorbell and I was running errand or something
- 51:02Speaker 2: like that. Everybody's at school, and so I come walking
- 51:05Speaker 2: up to my door and I'm like, hey, can I
- 51:07Speaker 2: help you? And he's like, oh, yeah, I'm here to
- 51:10Speaker 2: see so and so. And I'm like, yeah, he don't
- 51:13Speaker 2: live here, and he goes, no, he does, I'm here
- 51:14Speaker 2: to see him, and I'm like, yeah, you need to
- 51:17Speaker 2: get the fuck out of my house, buddy, Like you're
- 51:18Speaker 2: whoever you're looking for does not live here, and like I.
- 51:21Speaker 1: Just snapped into like nobody.
- 51:22Speaker 2: I don't think any of you have ever met Angry Jim,
- 51:25Speaker 2: but Angry Jim does exist, and he shows up when
- 51:28Speaker 2: you try to talk to that and I don't want to.
- 51:30Speaker 1: He's not as scary as you're describing. No, no, no,
- 51:34Speaker 1: it's no, we're grading on the gym scale. To be clear.
- 51:37Speaker 1: I gave him money. I gave him money. I exactly
- 51:42Speaker 1: as my little apron thing. He says that Karen made
- 51:45Speaker 1: me he's a coward. Yeah, he will give you money
- 51:49Speaker 1: to get rid of you. That's one. But I'm like
- 51:51Speaker 1: yell at this kid.
- 51:52Speaker 2: And I felt bad afterward because he was like, you know,
- 51:55Speaker 2: he tried to shake my hand because he was like
- 51:57Speaker 2: he could tell that.
- 51:58Speaker 1: I was like, piss off, Like what are you doing here? Kid?
- 52:01Speaker 2: Whoever you're looking for isn't here, And he was like, oh,
- 52:04Speaker 2: I'm sorry.
- 52:04Speaker 1: And he's like an older teenage and he goes like,
- 52:06Speaker 1: let me.
- 52:06Speaker 2: Start over, and he's like trying to shake my hand.
- 52:09Speaker 2: You know, It's like Hi, my name's Matthew. And I'm like,
- 52:11Speaker 2: I don't care leave, but that is a West Coast
- 52:14Speaker 2: thing because like if you're on our property, like what
- 52:16Speaker 2: the fuck if you're not here to deliver Amazon packages
- 52:18Speaker 2: or serve me a subpoena piss off?
- 52:20Speaker 1: Like I don't need to hear about Jesus or the
- 52:22Speaker 1: time of the time. Ata I know what you're about,
- 52:24Speaker 1: Like it's great.
- 52:25Speaker 2: Ring has ruined religion, possilization, evangelism is an all time
- 52:30Speaker 2: loss ring door.
- 52:33Speaker 1: Nobody answered that would cast.
- 52:35Speaker 3: So much anxiety, though I hear this writer like you
- 52:38Speaker 3: can't go in your own space like that you've paid
- 52:41Speaker 3: for because yeah, you're just stressed, and I don't know.
- 52:45Speaker 3: I would say, maybe find like a parker somewhere to
- 52:47Speaker 3: go when the days are nice, Like it sucks that
- 52:50Speaker 3: you can't go in your yard.
- 52:50Speaker 1: But I mean, here's the other thing you could do, is,
- 52:53Speaker 1: as you're looking for places to live, if you can
- 52:57Speaker 1: get a house where you only have neighbors on one
- 53:00Speaker 1: side or oh like the end of the call to
- 53:03Speaker 1: sack something like that, or like all the sacks are magical. Yeah, yeah,
- 53:08Speaker 1: the house that I had in Iowa, it backed up
- 53:13Speaker 1: to a state park. Oh, so, like we had an
- 53:16Speaker 1: acre of land and then at the very back edge
- 53:20Speaker 1: of our yard there was like a trail that went
- 53:22Speaker 1: down Oh my gosh, then it went into the state park.
- 53:24Speaker 1: And so like we had we had neighbors on both sides,
- 53:28Speaker 1: and we were kind of like we're on the edge
- 53:29Speaker 1: of the call to sack. But yeah, I mean like
- 53:32Speaker 1: something like that at least it limits it, you know,
- 53:35Speaker 1: so you know, like you don't have them surrounding you. Yeah,
- 53:37Speaker 1: all I can do is validate what you're going through, right,
- 53:39Speaker 1: I'm just on your team. Yeah, Like, I just I
- 53:41Speaker 1: agree with everything. Like the sound.
- 53:43Speaker 2: The sound thing doesn't annoy me as much, and I
- 53:46Speaker 2: think that that's just a product of I don't know,
- 53:48Speaker 2: growing up in apartments as a kid and stuff like
- 53:51Speaker 2: I just I got used to it, like sound on everything.
- 53:55Speaker 3: Peter like dead silence because he was out in the
- 53:57Speaker 3: country where there's dead silence, and I'm like, I need
- 54:00Speaker 3: I need the sound machine or noise like yeah, so that.
- 54:05Speaker 2: Kind of stuff, I think I can kind of zone out,
- 54:07Speaker 2: like kids screaming, dogs barking like that when people let
- 54:11Speaker 2: their dog out like early in the morning and the
- 54:13Speaker 2: dog just decides to like lose their ship at birds,
- 54:16Speaker 2: and it's like, now we all get to wake up
- 54:18Speaker 2: to that.
- 54:19Speaker 1: That sucks. Yeah, the dog barking doesn't even phase me.
- 54:23Speaker 1: Dogs barking outside. No really.
- 54:25Speaker 3: I had a neighbor who she worked from home, was
- 54:28Speaker 3: teaching teachers, so she'd be on teaching calls and the
- 54:31Speaker 3: neighbor's dog like like back there like.
- 54:33Speaker 1: That, like okay, we're facturing and like working from home.
- 54:37Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's a different thing. That's rough because then yeah,
- 54:40Speaker 1: because then it's like, Okay, this is my professional environment
- 54:43Speaker 1: and now I've got shit happening, and like, yeah, you
- 54:45Speaker 1: can do things, you can close the windows or whatnot,
- 54:48Speaker 1: you know, but then you know then but again that.
- 54:53Speaker 2: The worst thing a neighbor ever did. I was it
- 54:55Speaker 2: was during the pandemic. I just started telehealth. I was
- 54:58Speaker 2: in the middle of a long therapy and this guy
- 55:01Speaker 2: decided to entertain his grandson by letting like putting the
- 55:06Speaker 2: grandson in his lap and driving around the neighborhood and
- 55:08Speaker 2: letting the grandson just have at the fucking horn. Oh
- 55:13Speaker 2: my gosh, just driving around our block over and over again.
- 55:18Speaker 2: This kid, I mean, that is excessive. On the other hand,
- 55:22Speaker 2: you're bringing like a professional work environment into a non
- 55:25Speaker 2: professional area.
- 55:27Speaker 1: So I mean, like there is but like just leaning
- 55:29Speaker 1: on the around the neighborhoods on the main streets. You
- 55:34Speaker 1: never passed the same house twice.
- 55:36Speaker 3: Maybe yeah, but like you get one maybe two rounds
- 55:39Speaker 3: of that.
- 55:39Speaker 2: He's just going in a square And I was like,
- 55:42Speaker 2: fuck this guy anyway, writer, that's my Every time he
- 55:46Speaker 2: drove by, just gave him the finger.
- 55:47Speaker 1: Oh.
- 55:48Speaker 2: I ended up going outside and confronting him because.
- 55:50Speaker 1: Like, this has to stop. Murdered his grandson. I'm sorry,
- 55:54Speaker 1: but this is happening.
- 55:56Speaker 3: I was going to say really quick too. Something I
- 55:58Speaker 3: hear I hear of from people who have children is
- 56:01Speaker 3: that they don't mind so much their own kids yelling.
- 56:06Speaker 1: Right, I don't know the people out their own kids.
- 56:10Speaker 3: They don't they when people try and tell you, oh,
- 56:15Speaker 3: you're gonna like you will pass.
- 56:18Speaker 2: Notes to each other, they're not allowed to speak.
- 56:20Speaker 3: Well, that's another presence they text an option, yeah.
- 56:25Speaker 1: Not having it.
- 56:26Speaker 2: It's a tough one, writer. I mean, I relate to
- 56:28Speaker 2: the idea of not wanting to deal with the other neighbors.
- 56:30Speaker 2: I think there's something wrong with that. Trying to create
- 56:32Speaker 2: a life of seclusion is tough. Join a monastery.
- 56:36Speaker 1: Well, and I guess this is kind of the thing too,
- 56:37Speaker 1: is like you kind of unfortunately, like that's kind of
- 56:40Speaker 1: what you get. Yeah, Like the only real solution to
- 56:44Speaker 1: this is a cabin and like western Montana, Yeah, you know.
- 56:49Speaker 2: Or motion activated sprinklers with long range motion activated sprinklers
- 56:55Speaker 2: into the neighbor's.
- 56:55Speaker 1: Yard with warranty to keep everyone quiet.
- 56:58Speaker 2: I guess I don't know that summertime, yeah, exactly, just
- 57:03Speaker 2: playing in it.
- 57:04Speaker 1: Damn it.
- 57:05Speaker 2: It's pissed, but it's nice and cool. Piss somebody put
- 57:09Speaker 2: that quote in the discord please.
- 57:11Speaker 3: Uh.
- 57:11Speaker 2: One of the one of the gems of the discord
- 57:13Speaker 2: is the out of context quotes. Channel is glorious my
- 57:18Speaker 2: favorite place anyway, writer, good luck with that ship.
- 57:20Speaker 1: We're gonna take a quick break, and we helped it all.
- 57:23Speaker 2: No, this is not the first pick that we didn't
- 57:26Speaker 2: do anything but help.
- 57:27Speaker 1: Yeah, there you go.
- 57:28Speaker 2: The moment was the end of the answer. We just
- 57:31Speaker 2: continued on for some fun. We're gonna take a quick break,
- 57:33Speaker 2: and when we come back, we're talking about sensory overload.
- 57:37Speaker 1: That's very related. You're listening to pod therapy. Today's episode
- 57:41Speaker 1: is brought to you by Ben Ton, Malia, Richard Macy,
- 57:44Speaker 1: Sonny Boy, thunder Never, falcon Scoops Looker, Sandra mcwaffle, Alina
- 57:50Speaker 1: sam Cone, and Jake Schneider. And if you would like
- 57:53Speaker 1: to join these people, sign up to become a theraproducer
- 57:56Speaker 1: atreon dot com slash therapy. There we go, Jacob, Yes,
- 58:05Speaker 1: Rocky Mountain oysters, O yummy stress you eat stress relieving
- 58:12Speaker 1: snack in certain regions? What are they actually made of
- 58:17Speaker 1: their bull testicles? Okay? Going for two?
- 58:22Speaker 3: Oh?
- 58:22Speaker 1: Wait? Are they?
- 58:23Speaker 2: Are they sheep testicles? Can only pick one? I'll go
- 58:29Speaker 2: bull testicles?
- 58:31Speaker 1: I feel right correct? Yes, I was going to get
- 58:36Speaker 1: sheep testicles. I know my testicles. That's true. That's true.
- 58:41Speaker 1: He stress eats those things he got? Waitney, how do
- 58:43Speaker 1: you know your testicles? Let's go? The rest of these
- 58:47Speaker 1: are all testicles questions?
- 58:49Speaker 3: I'm an expert.
- 58:50Speaker 1: Okay, Which country enjoys Century eggs? Preserved eggs known for
- 58:56Speaker 1: their strong flavor and gelatinous texture, often eaten as comfort
- 59:01Speaker 1: food during stressful times.
- 59:04Speaker 3: Oh, I feel like I've heard of these options. I
- 59:06Speaker 3: need options.
- 59:07Speaker 1: Okay, we're looking for a region or a country. China Vietnam,
- 59:13Speaker 1: Thailand or Indonesia. Oh my gosh, oh.
- 59:19Speaker 2: Wow, they're called century egg You know that one hundred years.
- 59:22Speaker 1: Do you think that's that's the that's the deal. Yeah,
- 59:26Speaker 1: one hundred I mean that's what they say.
- 59:28Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm gonna guess Indonesia.
- 59:31Speaker 1: I think it's Vietnam. I think it's Thailand. Are you
- 59:35Speaker 1: sure you're not?
- 59:36Speaker 3: Final answer?
- 59:39Speaker 1: It's your question.
- 59:40Speaker 3: I'm guessing Indonesia because I feel like Peter ate some
- 59:43Speaker 3: of those were there.
- 59:46Speaker 1: He may have, but he didn't. China.
- 59:49Speaker 2: Ah, it's just China, China, chese and they're expired eggs.
- 59:55Speaker 1: Jim in Greenland?
- 59:57Speaker 2: Where's Greenland next to Iceland?
- 59:59Speaker 1: Wo? I mean sure, I know it's like he's wrong.
- 1:00:03Speaker 1: Thank you? Two points and nope, nope.
- 1:00:05Speaker 2: Yeah, that was the whole question.
- 1:00:09Speaker 1: I finished it and I took it off the fly.
- 1:00:12Speaker 1: It doesn't get credit. You should know all. I'll give
- 1:00:16Speaker 1: you five hundred points if you can tell me the
- 1:00:22Speaker 1: direction or is Greenland north of Iceland, south of Iceland,
- 1:00:29Speaker 1: east of Iceland west of Iceland.
- 1:00:32Speaker 2: So I have a twenty five percent shot at five
- 1:00:34Speaker 2: hundred points fucking a cotton Iceland. But if you lose,
- 1:00:40Speaker 2: you just gotta nut tap you Jesus Christ, not like
- 1:00:43Speaker 2: super aggressive.
- 1:00:44Speaker 1: But again, I'll use my left hand.
- 1:00:48Speaker 2: The risk board, my ring finger. I feel like on
- 1:00:51Speaker 2: the risk board Iceland was in between England and Greenland
- 1:00:56Speaker 2: because it was smaller or was it big?
- 1:01:01Speaker 1: Fuck?
- 1:01:03Speaker 2: And I can only pick one cardinal direction. It's not
- 1:01:06Speaker 2: like northwest and east.
- 1:01:07Speaker 1: You can pick multiple. Well, but that doesn't help me.
- 1:01:09Speaker 2: That decreases my odds. So but you know it's one
- 1:01:12Speaker 2: of them, it's one of the four cardinals.
- 1:01:14Speaker 1: I know the answer.
- 1:01:15Speaker 2: Well, you gave me the four cardinal directions as options
- 1:01:18Speaker 2: to be a dickhead thing if that wasn't correct.
- 1:01:20Speaker 1: And I would never be a dickhead Nick, look at
- 1:01:23Speaker 1: that face.
- 1:01:23Speaker 3: He would never give me.
- 1:01:27Speaker 1: West.
- 1:01:28Speaker 2: So I believe that Iceland is to the east of Greenland.
- 1:01:32Speaker 2: I think Greenland is to the west of Iceland. So
- 1:01:37Speaker 2: Greenland is I think Greenland is precisely to the north
- 1:01:42Speaker 2: west of Iceland.
- 1:01:45Speaker 1: It is north, it is west, it is east, and
- 1:01:48Speaker 1: it is south. Oh, shoot questions with the thing all right?
- 1:01:55Speaker 2: In Greenland, people can like how Alaska is also the
- 1:01:58Speaker 2: eastern most point to the United States.
- 1:02:01Speaker 1: I'm just angry and green Lin people consume kivak, a
- 1:02:06Speaker 1: traditional winter food made by fermenting which bird in which
- 1:02:12Speaker 1: bird inside a seal skin for several months.
- 1:02:16Speaker 2: My god, is this that one that is like considered
- 1:02:19Speaker 2: offensive to gods? So people eat it with never mind, woodpeckers,
- 1:02:28Speaker 2: penis faces, greenlines. So pick a tropical bird, yeah, yeah,
- 1:02:34Speaker 2: the cad alright, So give me options puffins, seagulls, ox
- 1:02:42Speaker 2: a u k s I'm not sure, or penguins. Well,
- 1:02:46Speaker 2: it can't be penguins. Why not because penguins, Uh, you
- 1:02:52Speaker 2: shouldn't do that either, truggles seem everywhere. That probably seems logical.
- 1:03:00Speaker 2: And then I've never heard of an oc, so I
- 1:03:02Speaker 2: won't even try. Give me puffins, no, god, damnit ox.
- 1:03:07Speaker 3: Really definitely, I need to see a picture of this ox.
- 1:03:10Speaker 2: Yeah, show me a big type in big fat ox
- 1:03:15Speaker 2: and seferably brown one.
- 1:03:17Speaker 1: I still have pictures of my deck up here.
- 1:03:18Speaker 2: Yeah, and then click. I'm feeling lucky.
- 1:03:23Speaker 1: Penguinish.
- 1:03:28Speaker 2: That's a great a uk a uk Okay, that's not
- 1:03:31Speaker 2: just a regular. That's a great one.
- 1:03:33Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, a lot like Auckland. All right.
- 1:03:35Speaker 2: Five hundred points. The gym sensory overload by anonymous Hey
- 1:03:40Speaker 2: gang I'm currently dealing with a problem that I don't
- 1:03:43Speaker 2: recall you covering on the show before. I have trouble
- 1:03:45Speaker 2: processing sensory information like sound, light, and visual movement, especially
- 1:03:51Speaker 2: when I'm trying to work or relax. Most recently, this
- 1:03:53Speaker 2: has been happening due to the inconsiderate choices of my
- 1:03:56Speaker 2: next door neighbor. When my neighbor's music has turned up,
- 1:03:59Speaker 2: I can hear base thumping everywhere in my home, which
- 1:04:02Speaker 2: has lately been happening most days for hours at a time.
- 1:04:06Speaker 2: I can't think about anything else. The noise makes me
- 1:04:09Speaker 2: feel frustration, rage, and powerlessness. I can mostly mask it
- 1:04:13Speaker 2: out with noise canceling headphones, but the low pitched noise
- 1:04:17Speaker 2: cuts through white noise generators and music, and it feels
- 1:04:20Speaker 2: wrong to have to wear headphones so often in my
- 1:04:22Speaker 2: own home. It feels invasive and unfair. And yes, I've
- 1:04:26Speaker 2: tried clear communication as well as complaining to the each
- 1:04:30Speaker 2: away and local authorities, with limited results.
- 1:04:33Speaker 1: We have two neighbor questions in a row.
- 1:04:35Speaker 2: Wow, who organizes our scripts? That person's an idiot?
- 1:04:39Speaker 3: I suck.
- 1:04:40Speaker 2: Moving away is something that probably wouldn't happen for the
- 1:04:43Speaker 2: next couple of years. Though I do fantasize about moving
- 1:04:46Speaker 2: to a cabin in the middle of a forest.
- 1:04:48Speaker 1: That sounds nice.
- 1:04:49Speaker 2: Instead, since I know that I can't really control other people,
- 1:04:53Speaker 2: what I'm mainly focused on for this question is my
- 1:04:56Speaker 2: response to the situation and any insight you can provide
- 1:04:59Speaker 2: for sense reprocessing issues. As I've reflected on this situation
- 1:05:03Speaker 2: over the past few months, I've realized that although I'm
- 1:05:05Speaker 2: being set off by this neighbor's choices in the present day,
- 1:05:09Speaker 2: sensory sensitivity has always been a part of my life,
- 1:05:12Speaker 2: and I mean always. When I was a very young child,
- 1:05:15Speaker 2: I hated being driven on the freeway because of the noise,
- 1:05:18Speaker 2: and I had to wear huge industrial earmuffs when we
- 1:05:21Speaker 2: would go to firework shows, which in hindlight did look
- 1:05:24Speaker 2: adorable on a preschooler. I also remember being in the
- 1:05:27Speaker 2: early part of my office work career and asking my
- 1:05:30Speaker 2: boss to tell me about the daily meeting schedule in
- 1:05:32Speaker 2: advance so I could plan to get work done when
- 1:05:35Speaker 2: it was quiet, rather than trying to work while a
- 1:05:38Speaker 2: meeting was going on and needing to cover it up
- 1:05:40Speaker 2: with my own music, which was also distracting. In fact,
- 1:05:43Speaker 2: the main reason I chose to go into an intense
- 1:05:46Speaker 2: career that requires all of my brain power. Was that
- 1:05:48Speaker 2: I never again wanted to live in an apartment where
- 1:05:51Speaker 2: I could hear other people's footsteps on my ceiling.
- 1:05:53Speaker 1: Fuck, I've been through that.
- 1:05:54Speaker 2: It sucks, which is part of why I feel so
- 1:05:57Speaker 2: dismayed that I can't even escape other people's noise in
- 1:06:01Speaker 2: the detached house I live in now. The second reason,
- 1:06:04Speaker 2: of course, is so I could afford to be a
- 1:06:05Speaker 2: patron of shows like Yours Wink, Good Job, Smart, Double
- 1:06:09Speaker 2: your Money, and moved to a smaller house. It's usually
- 1:06:12Speaker 2: not a problem when I'm out in public, unless I'm
- 1:06:15Speaker 2: trying to focus on something. The most hilarious and ironic
- 1:06:18Speaker 2: example of this happened a couple months ago when I
- 1:06:20Speaker 2: was in the waiting room.
- 1:06:21Speaker 1: At my doctor's office.
- 1:06:22Speaker 2: I was emotionally in a really bad place because of
- 1:06:25Speaker 2: the neighbor situation, and when I was trying to fill
- 1:06:27Speaker 2: out the depression screening questionnaire, two other people sat down
- 1:06:30Speaker 2: in the small waiting room and started having a conversation.
- 1:06:33Speaker 2: I could not fill out a single item on the
- 1:06:35Speaker 2: form until they got called back for their appointment and
- 1:06:38Speaker 2: it got quiet again. I did talk to my doctor
- 1:06:40Speaker 2: about my situation, and even though my symptoms are closer
- 1:06:44Speaker 2: to anxiety and depression, she agreed to put me on
- 1:06:46Speaker 2: an SSRI. Folks, my eight dollars copay is probably the
- 1:06:50Speaker 2: best money I've spent in my life. In the past,
- 1:06:53Speaker 2: I stayed away from antidepressants because I was afraid of
- 1:06:55Speaker 2: messing with my brain and potentially making it worse. But
- 1:06:58Speaker 2: because of hearing from you on the show about how
- 1:07:01Speaker 2: SSRIs are so gentle that they're basically the equivalent of
- 1:07:04Speaker 2: tile and all, I was willing to ask for them.
- 1:07:07Speaker 2: Other people's noise still really bothers me when it's happening,
- 1:07:10Speaker 2: but I don't ruminate on it at all at other times,
- 1:07:13Speaker 2: and it's so much easier to recognize and stop negative thoughts, spirals,
- 1:07:17Speaker 2: and cognitive distortions. It seems like low level anxiety and
- 1:07:21Speaker 2: depression have been bogging me down for years, because now
- 1:07:24Speaker 2: I feel so much more capable, confident, and willing to
- 1:07:27Speaker 2: try new things without the fear of failure voice eating
- 1:07:30Speaker 2: away at me on the inside. I still want to
- 1:07:33Speaker 2: get professional help for my sensory sensitivity issues. Honestly, part
- 1:07:37Speaker 2: of the reason I'm writing into you is not just
- 1:07:39Speaker 2: to get advice, but also to organize my thoughts for
- 1:07:41Speaker 2: when I do get to share with my own therapist.
- 1:07:44Speaker 2: My EAP at work is not making it easy. Just
- 1:07:47Speaker 2: like everything else related to insurance, their mission in life
- 1:07:50Speaker 2: is to provide as few services as they can get
- 1:07:53Speaker 2: away with. Is there a particular speciality I should seek
- 1:07:56Speaker 2: out or would in any general license therapist be able
- 1:08:00Speaker 2: to help. I also brought up autism screening to my doctor,
- 1:08:04Speaker 2: since I've heard that sensory issues are common in autism,
- 1:08:07Speaker 2: and I was part of the generation where only boys
- 1:08:10Speaker 2: got autism, So despite having social issues growing up in
- 1:08:13Speaker 2: intense specific interests, I was never screened as a child.
- 1:08:16Speaker 2: But getting it done today as an adult would cost
- 1:08:19Speaker 2: thousands of dollars, and it's not even clear what benefit
- 1:08:22Speaker 2: any official diagnosis would bring. My therapist would be would
- 1:08:26Speaker 2: be to would be to just assume I have autism
- 1:08:31Speaker 2: or some other sensory disorder so I could try off
- 1:08:33Speaker 2: the tools and techniques that are recommended for people with
- 1:08:36Speaker 2: these issues. So what do you all recommend? I'm eager
- 1:08:39Speaker 2: to hear your thoughts. Thanks Anonymous. Any pronouns are fine.
- 1:08:43Speaker 1: This seems like a great mix of both our first
- 1:08:47Speaker 1: and second question. What a great organization.
- 1:08:51Speaker 2: Our curator of scrips remind Yeah.
- 1:08:55Speaker 1: I mean, let's don't make me bring up the episode
- 1:08:58Speaker 1: in which I wasn't here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, the
- 1:09:00Speaker 1: fucking nobody remembers, so fine.
- 1:09:02Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't recall.
- 1:09:05Speaker 1: I can write lost. Oh it was funny.
- 1:09:12Speaker 3: First of all, what insurance do you have that has
- 1:09:14Speaker 3: an eight dollar copay? And I love that you sought help.
- 1:09:21Speaker 3: I like that there was a positive in this question
- 1:09:23Speaker 3: that was kind of cool, like, hey, this medication.
- 1:09:25Speaker 2: I accidentally stumbled upon something that really helped something I
- 1:09:28Speaker 2: didn't realize I had chronically and long term.
- 1:09:30Speaker 1: I mean, I was kind of surprised that the SSR
- 1:09:33Speaker 1: I would help with sensory I.
- 1:09:36Speaker 2: Don't know that they said it's a one to one help.
- 1:09:38Speaker 2: I think they noticed it's deadened my anxiety and depression.
- 1:09:41Speaker 1: Yeah, it sounds like it. Just yeah, was also there.
- 1:09:45Speaker 3: It turned out, yeah, which sometimes you know ADHD In
- 1:09:50Speaker 3: my opinion, ADHD anxiety trauma. They can be showing similar symptoms.
- 1:09:55Speaker 2: You know, and emotional sensitivity is assisted by a SSRIs.
- 1:09:58Speaker 2: That's true, there's a better regulation with SSRIs.
- 1:10:01Speaker 3: Yeah, but I love that you found something that helped
- 1:10:05Speaker 3: with part of that as far as just assuming I
- 1:10:08Speaker 3: know we kind of said this earlier today, but just
- 1:10:10Speaker 3: to maybe assume you have autism and go seek out
- 1:10:13Speaker 3: what's been helpful, like join some of those communities and
- 1:10:16Speaker 3: see what other people are doing. I feel like I
- 1:10:20Speaker 3: read something recently because I had a client who was
- 1:10:23Speaker 3: debating whether or not they wanted to get tested for
- 1:10:27Speaker 3: autism because they had said they were tested when they
- 1:10:31Speaker 3: were young, but their parents had like lost the paperwork.
- 1:10:34Speaker 3: They actually from another country, and so it's like they
- 1:10:38Speaker 3: were struggling with that because it felt they felt very
- 1:10:42Speaker 3: validated once they learned when they were an adult their
- 1:10:46Speaker 3: parents told them like they had gotten this testing and
- 1:10:49Speaker 3: so it felt very validating to them, and not having
- 1:10:51Speaker 3: that paperwork proof was like leaving them feeling pretty insecure.
- 1:10:55Speaker 3: But they talked about how seeking out testing can be
- 1:10:58Speaker 3: really difficult. We talked about the cost of it, all
- 1:11:01Speaker 3: those things that this writer mentions, and really, at the
- 1:11:03Speaker 3: end of the day, what is the point what are
- 1:11:06Speaker 3: you wanting from that? And so if you aren't going
- 1:11:09Speaker 3: to get like help in school, or like assistance made
- 1:11:12Speaker 3: in different areas, or I don't even know that you
- 1:11:15Speaker 3: can get assistance at work in any ways, like having
- 1:11:18Speaker 3: a sensory deprivation area like at your work. I mean
- 1:11:22Speaker 3: that would be great, but I don't think we're that
- 1:11:24Speaker 3: far yet. Yeah, what would be the point other than
- 1:11:28Speaker 3: to help you cope with like daily life? So yeah,
- 1:11:31Speaker 3: I mean joining communities that talk about those things could
- 1:11:34Speaker 3: be really helpful, especially maybe like high functioning autism, if
- 1:11:39Speaker 3: you're already kind of functioning in life, it just feels
- 1:11:41Speaker 3: like you're having sensory issues or some of those some
- 1:11:45Speaker 3: of those experiences that they might be having.
- 1:11:49Speaker 2: Yeah, autism does relate to this. I think there's a
- 1:11:52Speaker 2: lot of folks that deal with autism that notice sensory overload.
- 1:11:55Speaker 3: Veriab Well and ADHD, Like you know, I remember my
- 1:11:59Speaker 3: younger brother is like textbook ADHD, the hyperactive, impulsive kind.
- 1:12:04Speaker 3: And I remember his clothes always felt weird when he
- 1:12:06Speaker 3: was a kid, Like the socks weren't right, Like just
- 1:12:09Speaker 3: all the little things that you're welcome, like.
- 1:12:17Speaker 1: My feet are really sensitive, Like there's some sort of
- 1:12:20Speaker 1: like sheets and stuff, like I have to sleep with
- 1:12:22Speaker 1: socks on because like it just bothers.
- 1:12:25Speaker 2: It just it feels like it feels like they have
- 1:12:29Speaker 2: to be argyle socks.
- 1:12:33Speaker 1: As soon as the color, it feels like nails on
- 1:12:37Speaker 1: a chalkboard. Oh really Yeah, I get that sensation on
- 1:12:41Speaker 1: my feet, like my whole body. If like the sheets are.
- 1:12:45Speaker 2: Okay, if they don't feel right, Yeah, I'm kind of
- 1:12:47Speaker 2: with you on that though. There's some weird sheets. Like
- 1:12:50Speaker 2: you go to some hotels and you're like, hotel.
- 1:12:53Speaker 1: Yeah, some are great, some are great, but there's some.
- 1:12:57Speaker 1: I don't know what it is, but I just.
- 1:13:00Speaker 2: Are you Are you sound sensitive at all?
- 1:13:03Speaker 3: Okay?
- 1:13:03Speaker 1: That's me? Are you sound so?
- 1:13:06Speaker 3: I mentioned the noisemaker thing that in the morning it
- 1:13:09Speaker 3: went the noisemakers for sleep. But in the morning, once
- 1:13:11Speaker 3: I'm up, if there's any like background hum, it will
- 1:13:15Speaker 3: drive me insane. Peter doesn't even hear. He's like, what
- 1:13:18Speaker 3: it's relaxing. I like and like, turn it off, turn
- 1:13:20Speaker 3: turn the noise maker off or whatever it is it's
- 1:13:22Speaker 3: buzzing or whatever the noise there it is.
- 1:13:26Speaker 1: Yeah, So first off, I'll tell you right now.
- 1:13:31Speaker 2: Nick doesn't give a ship because for years on the
- 1:13:34Speaker 2: show he would decide when we hit record to like
- 1:13:37Speaker 2: eat the crunchiest shut up.
- 1:13:44Speaker 5: Years.
- 1:13:45Speaker 1: It was so bad. It was not that it was one.
- 1:13:50Speaker 2: It was like two weeks ago, like you do this
- 1:13:52Speaker 2: all the time.
- 1:13:53Speaker 1: It was when.
- 1:13:58Speaker 3: When dude, it's remembers it like it was yesterday.
- 1:14:02Speaker 2: Apparently I'm haunted by it. I just I am very
- 1:14:05Speaker 2: sounds to the writer, just a quick note on this.
- 1:14:09Speaker 2: Look up missophonia. So, misslephonia is this audiological reality where
- 1:14:14Speaker 2: you are hyper sensitive to all sorts of noise, lipsmacking,
- 1:14:19Speaker 2: like just any any sounds that just and it causes
- 1:14:21Speaker 2: an emotional reaction and it's really hard to let go of.
- 1:14:24Speaker 2: And it is the sense of sensitivity. Oh there it
- 1:14:27Speaker 2: is you hear that, Jesus.
- 1:14:29Speaker 3: It is brain, my brain, and the.
- 1:14:36Speaker 1: Misophonics have all.
- 1:14:37Speaker 3: Left no any constant noise like that. I don't even
- 1:14:40Speaker 3: mind the smacking or crunching. Those things don't bother me.
- 1:14:43Speaker 2: Oh that, Oh god, I have a sound generator on
- 1:14:47Speaker 2: my phone.
- 1:14:47Speaker 1: Do you really? Oh that's terrible.
- 1:14:50Speaker 3: It reminds me of the hearing test I just took
- 1:14:52Speaker 3: with my ear pods.
- 1:14:53Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, all all of this is terrible. Oh my god,
- 1:14:57Speaker 2: I can't handle it so like noises outside, barking dogs,
- 1:15:01Speaker 2: right lights.
- 1:15:02Speaker 3: I'm get en raged driving past the strip at night.
- 1:15:04Speaker 3: Oh yeah, Oh my gosh, those signs. Why are they
- 1:15:07Speaker 3: so fucking bright? They don't need to be that nice.
- 1:15:09Speaker 1: She's absolutely right, is a night. I thought, Bay and
- 1:15:14Speaker 1: Resorts World, Why sum people know?
- 1:15:22Speaker 3: The stadium just added to it. I was like, this
- 1:15:24Speaker 3: is some bia.
- 1:15:25Speaker 1: You know, we don't know why these kids wear their
- 1:15:27Speaker 1: pants so exactly. No, yeah, get a belt and get
- 1:15:32Speaker 1: off my lawn, get off my rocks. Having your boy
- 1:15:35Speaker 1: girl makeout parties with.
- 1:15:38Speaker 2: Hot No, I'm with you one hundred. That is an
- 1:15:41Speaker 2: annoying As we drove down dark roads, yes, they were
- 1:15:45Speaker 2: unsafely dark.
- 1:15:46Speaker 1: So stupid, it's unsafely illuminated. You see these from space.
- 1:15:51Speaker 2: I was like, how is this safe?
- 1:15:53Speaker 3: I'm like blinded, I spot their spots.
- 1:15:56Speaker 2: Yeah, it's awful.
- 1:15:57Speaker 3: I can't drive a night anymore.
- 1:15:59Speaker 1: Mizzo phone, Yeah, that's why look it up.
- 1:16:01Speaker 2: Misophonia. So people with misophonia have a sensitivity to sound
- 1:16:05Speaker 2: and it is emotional. It's distressing, it causes anxiety. It's
- 1:16:09Speaker 2: a lot of emotional discomfort. And it's interesting because the
- 1:16:12Speaker 2: way we treat misophonia there's multiple things. But actually I'm
- 1:16:16Speaker 2: a big fan of tagging in our audiology component on this.
- 1:16:20Speaker 2: So audiologists don't get a lot of shout outs on
- 1:16:23Speaker 2: pod therapy.
- 1:16:23Speaker 3: I've never heard of them.
- 1:16:24Speaker 2: But audiology I think has something to offer here, and
- 1:16:27Speaker 2: I think that that's actually an area that you ultimately
- 1:16:29Speaker 2: get referred to. And it's interesting because it was not
- 1:16:31Speaker 2: like a particular medication. Though mood regulators like SSRIs that
- 1:16:35Speaker 2: are going to dampen things like a reaction and sense
- 1:16:38Speaker 2: of irritation, they do have.
- 1:16:40Speaker 1: Value to this.
- 1:16:41Speaker 2: But I'm curious what our audiology might offer. I've never
- 1:16:44Speaker 2: heard what their solutions are. I don't know if there's
- 1:16:46Speaker 2: some kind of like I mean, obviously they're going to
- 1:16:48Speaker 2: talk about things like sound dampeners and stuff with writers
- 1:16:51Speaker 2: already using, but I don't know. I mean, I'm curious
- 1:16:54Speaker 2: because sometimes I think they can test for hyper sensitivities,
- 1:16:56Speaker 2: Like there's another disorder called like hyper oculus or something
- 1:17:01Speaker 2: like that, and it is actually a diagnosis of having
- 1:17:05Speaker 2: hyper sensitivity to sound. It's just you're hearing is so
- 1:17:09Speaker 2: powerful that what to the rest of us is a
- 1:17:11Speaker 2: normal thing to you as a shout, and so your
- 1:17:14Speaker 2: reaction might be misaphonic, but it also might be hyperoculate,
- 1:17:18Speaker 2: which is like you're picking this up at like a
- 1:17:19Speaker 2: higher decibel than the rest of us, and that's why
- 1:17:22Speaker 2: it's so distracting and unnerving. So I'm always curious if
- 1:17:25Speaker 2: an audiologist has something to offer in cases like this.
- 1:17:28Speaker 2: I'm not super familiar with the treatment protocols to like
- 1:17:30Speaker 2: psychologically addressed miss aphonia. I wonder what those would look at.
- 1:17:34Speaker 1: I mean, there's probably some therapists that specialize in that,
- 1:17:39Speaker 1: but not rarely. I mean, if you're looking for I
- 1:17:42Speaker 1: mean you're talking about, you know, like where should I
- 1:17:44Speaker 1: get help or you know, how what should the therapist
- 1:17:48Speaker 1: focus on? I think just find yourself a therapist, and
- 1:17:51Speaker 1: this is probably going to be a multidisciplinary approach where
- 1:17:54Speaker 1: your therapist is kind of communicating with your doctor who
- 1:17:57Speaker 1: maybe might have a referral to a whatever the hell. Yeah,
- 1:18:03Speaker 1: there's probably going to be I mean to really and
- 1:18:06Speaker 1: this is the other thing too, Like, you know, if
- 1:18:08Speaker 1: you're at a point in your life right now where
- 1:18:10Speaker 1: like you can deal with it and you've got some
- 1:18:12Speaker 1: coping skills to coexist with it, maybe that's kind of
- 1:18:16Speaker 1: your solution. You know, how deep you want to go
- 1:18:19Speaker 1: into this, I guess you know that that's you know,
- 1:18:22Speaker 1: going to be uh, probably involving your your therapist, your doctor,
- 1:18:26Speaker 1: and getting some referrals to some really highly technical, highly
- 1:18:32Speaker 1: specialized I.
- 1:18:33Speaker 2: Think it will be specialized. I think that there's things
- 1:18:35Speaker 2: that we can get to like mindfulness, like the ability
- 1:18:38Speaker 2: to absorb any kind of kind of distressing signal that
- 1:18:43Speaker 2: we're gettingcause sometimes those are emotional, sometimes those are psychosomatic.
- 1:18:47Speaker 2: You know, we have patients that that are having some
- 1:18:49Speaker 2: kind of psychosoma, some kind of pain in the body, irritation,
- 1:18:52Speaker 2: And I think that there is the ability to sort
- 1:18:55Speaker 2: of allow for the thing to exist and to monitor
- 1:18:59Speaker 2: our our emotional reaction to it, because the sensitivity to
- 1:19:03Speaker 2: the stimuli is what an audiologist can help with, whereas
- 1:19:06Speaker 2: I think a therapist is going to be really curious
- 1:19:09Speaker 2: about the way we are reacting internally, and can we
- 1:19:13Speaker 2: get that up to a mindfulness level. Can we bring
- 1:19:16Speaker 2: that to the conscious and can we start to get
- 1:19:18Speaker 2: your body and mind and sync to where you're noticing
- 1:19:22Speaker 2: this is the signal I'm hearing in my brain, this
- 1:19:24Speaker 2: is my reaction to this, this is the emotion I'm
- 1:19:26Speaker 2: having as a reaction to that stimuli, And can I
- 1:19:29Speaker 2: get to a place where I non judgmentally perceive the
- 1:19:32Speaker 2: stimuli without a sharp reaction to it, and there's gonna
- 1:19:37Speaker 2: be some erp to that. I think there's gonna be
- 1:19:39Speaker 2: some exposure and reprocessing that goes along with that. But
- 1:19:43Speaker 2: I also would think a mindfulness technique could be really
- 1:19:46Speaker 2: useful here too.
- 1:19:47Speaker 3: Yeah, I would definitely try and find somebody who kind
- 1:19:51Speaker 3: of maybe not specializes, but lists that and want to
- 1:19:54Speaker 3: art something along those lines in there, you know, summary
- 1:19:58Speaker 3: or whatever of what they say they were.
- 1:20:01Speaker 2: Yeah, and you know you also you're you're talking about
- 1:20:03Speaker 2: home improvements. I think as part of this two places
- 1:20:06Speaker 2: you can rest and as we talked about earlier. You know,
- 1:20:08Speaker 2: a big brown deck but you want to abbreviate it
- 1:20:11Speaker 2: when you google it, you know, and just videos I
- 1:20:13Speaker 2: think is great. That way you can learn how to
- 1:20:15Speaker 2: install them BBD BBC is that now?
- 1:20:18Speaker 1: How do you spell deck? Yeah? Never mind BBD.
- 1:20:21Speaker 3: I still thought it would lead you to the right place.
- 1:20:23Speaker 2: I got there. I got there all the brown cabin
- 1:20:27Speaker 2: in the woods videos.
- 1:20:30Speaker 3: Uncensoreds are meant to be like kind of surface low
- 1:20:34Speaker 3: in my opinion. You know, I'm not speaking for all EAPs,
- 1:20:38Speaker 3: but I feel like they're just there to help you
- 1:20:40Speaker 3: deal with stressors and quick.
- 1:20:42Speaker 2: Disclaimer, What are EAPs for the audience that.
- 1:20:44Speaker 3: Doesn't employment assistance program?
- 1:20:47Speaker 1: Yeah?
- 1:20:47Speaker 3: Yeah, I was like digging around my memories there. Yeah, like,
- 1:20:52Speaker 3: since I take insurance, that is an option, you know,
- 1:20:56Speaker 3: I have signed up to take certain EAPs, but gosh, yeah.
- 1:21:01Speaker 3: Their goal is like a few sessions, like six to nine,
- 1:21:04Speaker 3: maybe ten if you're lucky, and they're kind of helping
- 1:21:08Speaker 3: you manage like work. Yeah, the impression. They won't say that,
- 1:21:12Speaker 3: but they're just like, oh, yeah, have you tried this?
- 1:21:14Speaker 3: Have you tried meditation?
- 1:21:15Speaker 1: Now?
- 1:21:16Speaker 2: The pre authorizations are usually not too burdensome. Right with
- 1:21:19Speaker 2: the aps, they're pretty quick to be like, sure, go
- 1:21:21Speaker 2: for it. Yeah, you have these no questions, ask exactly,
- 1:21:23Speaker 2: don't care what the diagnosis is. Max out your benefit,
- 1:21:27Speaker 2: but it is limited. You get X number of sessions
- 1:21:29Speaker 2: and then we're done, right, and if you want authorization
- 1:21:31Speaker 2: after that, you're going through the.
- 1:21:32Speaker 3: Insurance right and so yeah, my experience is friends of
- 1:21:36Speaker 3: mine that accept EAPs. The goal really is kind of like,
- 1:21:40Speaker 3: all right, I've got you in the door. If there's
- 1:21:42Speaker 3: something bigger here that you're trying to utilize your free
- 1:21:45Speaker 3: EAP sessions, fine, we can like dive into some of that,
- 1:21:48Speaker 3: but really we would probably need to meet longer. You know,
- 1:21:52Speaker 3: we'd have to go through insurance depending on what your
- 1:21:54Speaker 3: insurance is, and I'm an approve provider, then we could
- 1:21:58Speaker 3: look at diving more into that further. But EPs are
- 1:22:01Speaker 3: kind of tough because they're so short lived. It makes
- 1:22:03Speaker 3: you hard as a therapist to want to dive in
- 1:22:05Speaker 3: deeper because you're like, you may not be able to
- 1:22:07Speaker 3: afford your copay. You may not you're deductible if it's high,
- 1:22:10Speaker 3: and you're paying like one hundred percent until you're deductibles met.
- 1:22:13Speaker 3: I mean, it's a mess.
- 1:22:15Speaker 2: Then Yeah, I'm glad you're using it, though, writer, and
- 1:22:18Speaker 2: I'm glad that you're starting to try to incorporate this
- 1:22:21Speaker 2: into it. And as we've all kind of mentioned, there's
- 1:22:24Speaker 2: not a very obvious book that we would all reach
- 1:22:27Speaker 2: for and say, oh, this is how you treat this.
- 1:22:30Speaker 2: But I do think it's adjacent to other things that
- 1:22:32Speaker 2: have to do with stimuli sensitivities, like psychosomatic treatments and
- 1:22:38Speaker 2: the things that we do for mindfulness that have to
- 1:22:39Speaker 2: do with all sorts of more cognitive experiences that people
- 1:22:43Speaker 2: are provoked by, and so I do think there's value
- 1:22:46Speaker 2: to that, but it's it's so unique, right because we're
- 1:22:48Speaker 2: talking about one of your five senses. We're talking about
- 1:22:50Speaker 2: being hyper attuned and for you to like be affected
- 1:22:54Speaker 2: by that, and I don't know, Like I'm always curious
- 1:22:57Speaker 2: if audiology has anything to offer on that, So that
- 1:23:01Speaker 2: might be worth looking.
- 1:23:02Speaker 3: That's an interest route to you already talking.
- 1:23:04Speaker 1: Your primary about it.
- 1:23:05Speaker 2: If you you talked to your primary and they're giving
- 1:23:07Speaker 2: you SSRIs for this, you can come back and say,
- 1:23:09Speaker 2: I was wondering about getting in your test. Yeah, and
- 1:23:11Speaker 2: they might say, oh, yeah, that's easy. You know, that's
- 1:23:13Speaker 2: not expensive. Like you go to an Alady Audio Audio Audio,
- 1:23:18Speaker 2: go to your local audi deal together and type in
- 1:23:20Speaker 2: pot therapy answer. That's how you get the money. Anyway,
- 1:23:25Speaker 2: that's right, Thank you for your question. Feel free and
- 1:23:30Speaker 2: I don't remember any Send those updates to us. We
- 1:23:34Speaker 2: love to hear more, and thank you for supporting the show.
- 1:23:37Speaker 1: We appreciate you.
- 1:23:38Speaker 2: We're gonna take a quick break and when we come back,
- 1:23:40Speaker 2: we are wrapping up the show.
- 1:23:42Speaker 1: You're listening to Pop Therapy. Today's episode is brought to
- 1:23:45Speaker 1: you by Ben Don, Julia Richard Macy, Sonny Boy, Thunder, Moder,
- 1:23:50Speaker 1: Falcon Scoops, Slurp, Motherfucker, Sander, Sam Cohen, and Jake Schneider.
- 1:23:55Speaker 1: And if you would like to join these folks and
- 1:23:57Speaker 1: become a sir producer, sign up at Patreon slash therapy.
- 1:24:02Speaker 2: We're back, and as we wrap up the show, we
- 1:24:04Speaker 2: want to remind you can sign up at patreon dot
- 1:24:06Speaker 2: com slash therapy. You can get our extended show ad
- 1:24:08Speaker 2: free a day early, as well as enjoy our live
- 1:24:11Speaker 2: chat discord community and our weekly deep dives, interviews, skill shares,
- 1:24:15Speaker 2: research roundups and rants. And of course we want to
- 1:24:18Speaker 2: welcome folks that are new to the Therap Party. But
- 1:24:21Speaker 2: before we do, I want to remind you that this
- 1:24:23Speaker 2: episode is actually taped a bit in advance as we
- 1:24:26Speaker 2: kind of bulk up for the holiday.
- 1:24:27Speaker 1: Scenes from the Past Fast Past.
- 1:24:30Speaker 2: So we taped this one on Monday, December ninth, and
- 1:24:34Speaker 2: so if you've signed up since then, please know that
- 1:24:37Speaker 2: we will be thanking you in whichever episodes we record next.
- 1:24:41Speaker 2: But Nick, who is new to the Therap Party as
- 1:24:44Speaker 2: of today.
- 1:24:44Speaker 1: We got a new therap Pal. Welcome to the show.
- 1:24:47Speaker 1: Evan Welch.
- 1:24:48Speaker 2: I think it's pronounced even even well, seems pretty obvious.
- 1:24:54Speaker 1: It is, it is, it is way.
- 1:24:57Speaker 2: I think there's only want to pronounce all right, that
- 1:25:01Speaker 2: feels right to me. And of course we uh want
- 1:25:04Speaker 2: to praise on high the dark Lord himself, Jim's Fasha
- 1:25:10Speaker 2: Fashaja Fascist, the local theity of the Pod Therapy Show,
- 1:25:16Speaker 2: whom we provide all of our worship and accolades. And
- 1:25:20Speaker 2: we'd like to think the benevolent, revered, generous and flagrantly
- 1:25:24Speaker 2: pro therapy diehards who love you all so much they
- 1:25:27Speaker 2: give till it hurts. The therap partners, thank you, Dirty
- 1:25:29Speaker 2: b and Pickett. And we want to thank our bosses,
- 1:25:31Speaker 2: the mysterious and shrouded Illuminati, members of the fan Club,
- 1:25:34Speaker 2: the Theird producers, thank you. Jake Schneider, Myra, Robert Brownie Junior, Mint,
- 1:25:38Speaker 2: Smitty Scoop, Ben Don, Judy Schneider, Kayla Ansberry, Malia Leon
- 1:25:42Speaker 2: Cassab Mason Miller, Richard Fucking Macy, Carolyn Albert, Kevin Chamberlain,
- 1:25:47Speaker 2: Tess Miller, Sammy Scoop, Ben Stanley, Slap in your Face,
- 1:25:50Speaker 2: Sarah Smith, Adam Hathaway, Builer, t Mike Helm, Paris, Darren Cunningham,
- 1:25:55Speaker 2: Lib Team Monaco Thunder, Cougar, Falcon, Scoop, mantley'sa Tangament heyo
- 1:25:59Speaker 2: Oscar Swanroe A sunny Boy, Slippy Kai, Motherfucker, Sandra mcwoffle,
- 1:26:03Speaker 2: Dan Martin, Hanna, Marie Andrew Langmead, emmaccain, Alina Coded, The
- 1:26:07Speaker 2: Lorion Guy, Sam Cone and Nathan Mookie.
- 1:26:10Speaker 1: And if you like to hear this episode uncut in unedited, wow,
- 1:26:16Speaker 1: enjoy our spontaneous side projects. Go to patreon dot com
- 1:26:19Speaker 1: slash therapy and thank you for supporting them. That's all.
- 1:26:21Speaker 1: That's all the time. We good for this week session.
- 1:26:23Speaker 2: I want to thank our Landlord's Met and Mattingley's ice
- 1:26:26Speaker 2: Cream Social Podcast and thanks to those of you contributed
- 1:26:29Speaker 2: to our show today. We really appreciate it. But remember
- 1:26:33Speaker 2: pod therapy isn't something to keep all of yourself. Shared
- 1:26:35Speaker 2: the episode with the world.
- 1:26:37Speaker 1: Tag us on the socials. When you do, you'll find
- 1:26:39Speaker 1: us at pod.
- 1:26:40Speaker 2: Therapy Guys on Instagram, threads and Twitter, slash pod therapy
- 1:26:43Speaker 2: on Facebook, pod therapy something or another on Blue Sky,
- 1:26:47Speaker 2: and don't forget about all the extra goodies at patreon
- 1:26:50Speaker 2: dot com slash therapy.
- 1:26:52Speaker 1: Do you want to submit a question to the show
- 1:26:53Speaker 1: ask anonymously podtherapy dot net, or email us at pod
- 1:26:57Speaker 1: therapy guys at gmail dot com, or you can click
- 1:26:59Speaker 1: the link on the episode description.
- 1:27:01Speaker 3: I'm Nick Tanjaman, I'm Whitney Lewis.
- 1:27:04Speaker 1: I will run away if you are a hobo trying
- 1:27:06Speaker 1: to come into my house. Thanks, and we'll see you
- 1:27:08Speaker 1: for your appointments next week.
- 1:27:11Speaker 2: Just remember don't follow too closely behind Whitney. She poops
- 1:27:16Speaker 2: on the floor.
- 1:27:16Speaker 3: Pep pew, poop, poo, poop, poop poop b