Latest / Harder Than Life / Half the Year Is Gone | The Midyear Reset That Saves the Rest

Transcript

Half the Year Is Gone | The Midyear Reset That Saves the Rest · Harder Than Life

• 0:01
  Now at Lowe's, faster quotes start at the Lowe's Pro Desk. Got a material list handwritten on a sticky note or saved us a photo? Perfect. Bring it to us and get a quote in minutes. And if you don't see what you need on the shelf, we'll help you get it. You can access thousands of products beyond what's available in-store or on Lowe's.com, right from the Lowe's Pro Desk. Build quotes faster and source the materials you need to keep your jobs moving. Just like that at Lowe's. The year's exactly half over.
• 0:32
  And this list of goals that you wrote in January, the body, the business, the money, the marriage you were going to fix, most of it hasn't moved. You can feel it. The low hum of being behind. So let me say this thing that's going to sting because it's the only thing that helps. The truth hurts. You didn't miss your goals. You hit them.
• 0:53
  You just didn't like which ones. Your real goal was comfort, staying light, not having the hard conversation, not feeling the discomfort of being bad at something new. And at those goals, you're undefeated. Six straight months, perfect record.
• 1:12
  Here's the part nobody tells you. 80% of people quit their New Year's resolution by the second week of January. The second week! Since you made it to June still half-trying, you're actually ahead of most. I don't have a participation trophy for you, but that's at least a solid start foundation, I guess. Maybe it's not solid, but it's a foundation. Half-trying is its own trap, and I'm gonna show you why.
• 1:41
  You've been waiting on a feeling, perhaps motivation, and I need you to hear this. It was never coming. Motivation doesn't arrive before the work. It shows up after. You've been standing in front of a cold fireplace, demanding heat before you even put a log in. There are 26 weeks left.
• 2:08
  That is not the scrapes of a year. That is enough time to become a different person if you stop setting goals and start changing who's doing the work. Today, I'll show you exactly how. Let's go. Welcome, Heart of the Life Nation, to another Thursday solo episode. No guests, just you, me, and Amir.
• 2:34
  I'm going to hold the mirror up for you. I'm not going to beat you down. I am going to try to keep this as calm and as clear as possible. I know I hear about my tone and tonality all the time. I get all fired up about this because I want everybody to live heaven on earth. And it's done by creating your heaven.
• 2:53
  not by mantras and wishes and dreaming. It's done by the work. So I want you to look at this as a call up, not a call out. And I've been here. I've been the guy half trying, making valid reasons, valid reasons. I'm right there with you. I don't do it anymore. So I'm looking back and I'm going to help you guys and I'm going to pull you forward.
• 3:18
  No hype, no vision board, no woo-woo stuff. We're just gonna get everything in here through systems, not affirmations. Got it? Let's go. Here's the honest scoreboard. My experience, you hit your real goals, literally. Comfort and safety were the actual goals. You didn't extend yourself whatsoever. You barely stuck your head up. Perhaps you even tried for a week.
• 3:46
  Maybe you halfway did it. Either way, let's pull the receipts. I want the facts, not the feelings. I myself last year did the 555 workouts. That was crazy talk. This year, I'm actually taking more days off and I'm making more headway. I'm surrendering, allowing, let going. So I want you to very simply, very easy, here's how to look backwards.
• 4:12
  Go back and look at your calendars from January to June. In fact, you can take them all and drop it into AI, any one of them, tell it your goals and say, did my activities bring me closer or farther away from my goals? And it won't lie to you. And I got a news slash. You didn't hit them because you didn't do enough activity. You may have been busy,
• 4:39
  You know, running on a treadmill will burn calories, but it will not get you to your destination. So your calendar already told on you, I want you to do an audit exactly as I just said. You can either do it real quick and do it yourself or just drop it in AI. But guys, you're gonna be able to look and you're gonna see a ton of white space in your calendar. And then the appointments that you actually did say, is this moving me forward or just keeping me busy?
• 5:06
  Busy does not meet goals. So do that first half audit. And the simplest and easy way is to take screenshots and drop it in your AI platform. Say, these are my goals. I wanted to make, you know, $200,000 and I'm a salesperson and this is my whole story and this is my calendar. What did I miss? And then take it a step further and say, what can I do to save my second half? Pretty much what can just microphone drop right there, but I'm going to keep going.
• 5:33
  Remember, just because you missed the success doesn't mean you're a failure, it doesn't mean you're broken, it doesn't mean anything, it just means you're behind. We can absolutely catch up and make this year a success. It's not how you start, it's how you finish. Let's finish it strong. So here's what you actually missed.
• 5:53
  It's not a motivational problem. I know everybody says, I just need more motivation. Motivation doesn't even matter. It is doing the activity that starts. Feelings follow actions, actions build confidence. So make certain that you just start working on it today. And ask yourself there, pro tip, what I'm about to do
• 6:17
  Move me further to my goal or not. It's very simple. If you're in sales, I'm a sales guy. The number one thing is making contact with potential customers. That means making phone calls, sending emails, sending text messages, knocking on doors, not
• 6:33
  cruising LinkedIn and friending people, cruising social media, calling things, networking events when you're just going to socialize and get drunk. None of that moves you forward. I picked on sales for a long, I could do that for anything. You know when you're lying to yourself. Forget the feelings, start doing action. Remember ABC, action builds confidence. Here's the challenge.
• 6:53
  You set a goal and had no plan to get there. Remember, you need to build a system so that when you're unmotivated, undisciplined, you have no way to fall off. Here's what I mean. System, save yourself time, energy, money, and stress. So if your goal is to work out, make sure that you do it first thing in the morning and set out your workout clothes so you take away all barriers to doing it first thing in the morning. Go.
• 7:21
  If I said I could not work out anymore and God said, hey, you can keep that body. You don't need to work out anymore. I would wake up in the morning at 4 a.m. and still get dressed because I have the habits built into my body.
• 7:31
  So structure a system that you cannot, it would be impossible to get wrong. And here's how you can do it too, is put it on your calendar and then get an accountability partner. So it is also not a goal problem. It's an identity problem. I hear this all the time. That's just the way I do. Or I'm just too busy. Or I'm just this. I just, when you say that I'm just...
• 7:55
  It's an excuse, flat out. A lot of you are chasing a disciplined person's results with an undisciplined self-image, flat out. That's why a lot of you follow me, because you want to be disciplined like me, but you don't want to do the work that I do day in and day out to look the way I do and live the life that I do. But I'm telling you, it's freaking fantastic. Do the work, it feels great. This goes for everything, people, everything. The crazy IFS therapy that I just did. I did 12 months of IFS therapy in five months. Don't recommend that.
• 8:24
  but I did it nonetheless. This is the way I'm gonna put this. I call them run toward goals. So it's easier to add than it is to subtract certain things. The reason why it's easier to add than it is to subtract, and I say, I go back and forth with this. Stop doing the really bad things. Stop drinking. Stop eating garbage. Stop eating, that's easy. Stop, but,
• 8:48
  We chase after feelings. So run towards the body of your dreams because we're chasing the feeling. It feels great when you see a six pack, when you start seeing a muscle come in. So it's easier to run toward goals versus the stop doing goals. There's something in your mindset too about that, like the negative part, stop.
• 9:14
  your body and your mind do what the first word is. Start, stop. If you stop eating junk food, all it hears is junk food. So keep in mind too many goals equals none. 15 priorities equals zero priorities. If everything is important, then nothing is important.
• 9:36
  The scatter will guarantee a miss and your comfort is always going to quietly win. So every undone goal lost to something easier you choose instead. Name that. Literally name when you're doing it and call yourself out.
• 9:55
  Don't be mean, though, man. I'm brutal to myself. If I don't keep the promises I make to myself, I say some of the meanest, nastiest things. Don't do that to yourself. Don't do it. Give yourself grace. You're going to give it to everybody else. Give yourself a little grace. But be honest with yourself.
• 10:12
  Here's a massive lie that I hear. I'll lock in. I'll start on Monday. It's how you quit slowly. It's how you kick the can down the street. The future start date is the most comfortable form of giving up. Yesterday was the best day to start, but it's history. So let's start right here, right now. And discipline is doing it after the yes fades. I just had a guy on who said it's day three when you don't want to do it. That's how you build confidence.
• 10:42
  to do it and you keep doing that and keep doing that and you build resilience and then everything in your life gets a little easier remember do not negotiate with yourself because you're negotiating like there's a refund
• 10:55
  There is no self bargaining. The year doesn't give itself back to you. You lost six months. Let's not lose the next six months. And sitting here saying, I'll start in January. What are you gonna do? Sit around and do nothing for the next six months? I can assure you if you wait till January, you will not start. Start now. Comfort is the most expensive thing you could ever buy. And you don't want it.
• 11:23
  You're paying for comfort with your potential. And then so often we end up picking people for their potential, not their pattern. Oh God, that word potential drives me insane. So your goals don't move, you do. If nothing changes, nothing changes. Your life will change when you show up and mean business. All right, I'll call this the Segal second half system.
• 11:48
  So you made it this far, about 12, 13 minutes into this. This is what you've been waiting for. I want you to swap your identity. Don't chase. Replace the person you are.
• 12:01
  Hear me out. Don't chase a goal. Become the person that absolutely does the thing that the goal will deliver. Stop pulling the goal towards you. Become the person who produces it by default. I am a successful businessman because I get up and I work 8, 10 hours a day. I am in good shape because I get up and I go to the gym every single day.
• 12:24
  I don't drink. I don't do drugs. I don't eat garbage. I sleep well. It's my identity. There are habits that come with that identity that will keep you stuck. So we have to swap that identity.
• 12:36
  Ask yourself each and every day, what would a person that hits your goal do today to move towards that goal? And then filter it through your new identity, not how you feel. Confidence is kept by stacking the promises to yourself that you've kept.
• 12:55
  Action builds confidence. Believe me this, especially when you don't want to do it. Again, self-trust is built by doing what you said, not by hyping yourself up, and definitely not by making excuses. I want you to pick three big boulders. We call them rocks at NTM. You're familiar with the OS, is it? Three, three things to work on, not 30.
• 13:19
  Pick three things for the next 90 days. So literally, we're going to break the next six months down into two 90-day segments. We can do anything for 90 days. Three priorities for the next three months, and let's hammer those. And then we'll pick three more after that. But let's hammer them home. And if everything's a priority, nothing is. And then pick one of them that you can measure weekly. It can be either a fitness one,
• 13:47
  or a mental one. Each and every one of us are a little different with our mentality. For me, biggest thing for my mental capacity is rest and recharge and my sleep, but I also stack it with meditation. So it's a little tough to pick just one mental thing. Maybe it's therapy, maybe it's your coach.
• 14:06
  Remember my TLC approach, training, learning, coaching. Pick one thing that you can measure weekly. And to measure weekly could be I'm going to see my coach twice a week for the next 90 days. Or I'm going to see a therapist twice a week for the next 90 days. Or I'm going to work out three to five times for the next 90 days. Just pick one of those. That's a cheap method for you. All right. The subtraction sprint in addition to your goal.
• 14:30
  remove what's eating the old one. So the fix is the deletion, not the addition. So has it been you're staying up late and you're not getting enough sleep? Stop that. Is it you're eating junk food at night or you're eating like crap? Is it,
• 14:47
  You're going into work late every day or you're leaving early. There's one thing that you're doing that is easily sucking the life out of you and keeping you stuck. Stop doing that. Name it. Stop it. It is a drain. It could be a scroll. It could be the drink. It could be a late night. It could be negative circle and cut it out. The addition is comfort. The subtraction is growth. It is the hardest thing in the world to do. And I'm in the middle of doing it right now.
• 15:17
  Finally, we have this 26-week runway. Half of the year still to bring this thing home. But we only have a half a year. So six months is enough to change the body, the mind, and your business. Let's freaking go. Again, 12 weeks and then 12 weeks.
• 15:41
  We're going to break it into two. Push hard every single Sunday. Remember, I've said this in the past. Every Sunday, I want you to score your week and then plan your week. How did the last week go and then plan your next week? So you absolutely can hit the ground running. Fail to plan, plan to fail. So review what worked last week. Compound that. Don't skip your Sunday. It takes about 10 minutes. Do it first thing in the morning and then you can enjoy the rest of your Sunday.
• 16:11
  Finally, you've made this far. You're not behind. You're just now informed. The first half was tuition. And now you have the data. Pick the person that you want to be.
• 16:28
  The identity swap is absolutely more important. Be a fit person. Be a winning person. Be a resolute person. Be an honest person. Be loving person. Whatever that looks like that gets you to your goal, whatever it is. Whether it's to be in love, in a relationship, or it's to make more money, have a podcast, whatever it is. Identify as that person and be that person. Remember, three rocks broken down into three months.
• 16:57
  Second half is yours to take, man. Raise your standards. Say no to anything that falls below that standard. Protect the mission, which is to live the life of your dreams. And now you're going to hear more of me say this, being able to have heaven on earth. That's what we all want. It is built. It is not found. You have to be the person to do this.
• 17:25
  Guys, I want you to send this to someone who's stalled, someone who's stuck. Please email me or copy me on a clip from this. Tag me on social media and tell me what your one rock is. Kelly, I'm going to lose 10 pounds the right way.
• 17:39
  Telly, I'm going to make more money. Whatever it is, tag me in it. I'll share it. Guys, I have all kinds of resources in the show notes. You go to the website, harderthanlife.com. There's tons of resources that we're giving away. Again, I'm not trying to sell you anything. We're just trying to become the number one self-improvement education podcast in the world. And I do this by burying my soul and telling you all the mess ups that I've done. So guys, until next week, go build yourself, be harder than life, and I'll see you next Thursday.
• 18:09
  Please rate and share this podcast. I'm active on all social platforms and love to hear from my Segal supporters. Each and every episode is sponsored by my company, National Technology Management, the easiest and best IT company to do business with, delivering peace of mind with technology every day, even simplifying cybersecurity. Visit TrustNTM.com for more info. Until next week, be harder than life.