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Brenda's Review of Hellraiser 1987 *Spoilers* - It's the "D"! · Brenda's Horror Movie Reviews

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Good morning, this is Brenda.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'm back with another review.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: Today we are gonna review Hellraiser from 1987, and before I even get started, I just re-watched this movie.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: All I can say is Frank must have had the best dick on the planet for this all to go down the way it did.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: What I remember, of course, from watching it decades ago were the Cinnabytes and the Lament Configuration Box.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: That damn pinhead got me put in Facebook jail for a little while.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: I shared a meme that I got off of Facebook.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: I was accused of depicting self-mutilation.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: This is a Clive Barker movie.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: He's also known for the plague, Sleepwalkers, Candyman, and the Midnight Meat Train.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: The movie starts off and we see Frank in Morocco purchasing the Lament configuration, which is a puzzle box.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: He gets it home, starts fucking around with it.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: He actually gets it open, and chains with hooks come out and pierce his skin and eventually pull him apart.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: The Cinnobites appear to drag him to hell.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: Frank has a brother named Larry who has a wife named Julia and they inherit the house.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: We see a lot of flashbacks with Julia, who is remembering her affair with Frank.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: And it was hot and heavy too.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: He was very aggressive with her.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: Julia finds pictures while they're going through the house of her and Frank, and also pictures of him and other women, and she doesn't even seem to care.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: While they're moving into the house, Larry cuts his hand while trying to move a mattress.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: When he gets to the room that the Cinnabites claimed Frank, some blood drips onto the floor and somehow it awakens Frank's resurrection.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: Frank managed to slip away from the Cinnabites, but he's going to need blood to start becoming his old human form again, and you know by now Julia is willing to kill for that man.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: And he looks pretty nasty too because he doesn't have any skin and he's all bloody.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: I don't get it.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: It must be the dick.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: Somehow there's some brainwashing going on.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: Julia is going out to bars and picking up men, bringing them home with her, and she gets them up to the room that Frank's in and hits him over the head.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, it's the dick.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: Larry also has an adult daughter, Kirsten, Julia's stepdaughter, who starts to have visions and bad dreams.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: As Julia gets more and more comfortable killing people, Frank tries to explain the puzzle box to her and the extreme pleasure and pain that comes along with it.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: Poor Kirsten goes through a lot.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: She comes to the house and Frank attacks her.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: She grabs the box, throws it out the window, goes running after it.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: It starts clicking to her that that bloody mess is Uncle Frank.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: She wakes up in a hospital and a doctor brings her the puzzle box.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, like everybody else, she has to start fucking with it.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: So as it starts to open, the wall opens up and a creature comes out after her.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: The Cenobites appear and they make it known that they are demons to some and angels to others.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: She tells the Cenobites that Frank has escaped them and offers him up in exchange for her soul.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: After Kirsten gets back to the house, she's trying to talk to Larry, and there's one of those ooh come to daddy moments, and she realizes that Larry is actually Frank wearing Larry's skin.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: She scratches his face, which verifies that it's not really her dad, and he goes after her and accidentally kills Julia.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: And Frank being the asshole he is, tells her that it's nothing personal.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: Frank starts going after Kirsten and the Cinnabites are waiting for him, and Pinhead tells Kirsten this isn't for your eyes.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: They hook him back up with the chains, he licks his tongue and says, Jesus wept, and then they pull him apart again.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: Kirsten gets the puzzle box out of Julia's hands.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: She puts the puzzle back the original way, and the cinnabites supposedly go back to wherever they came from.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: The boyfriend shows up, puzzle moves again, big creature comes back that she had seen at the hospital.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: The house starts to crumble apart.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: She takes the puzzle box and throws it into an attic fire.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: A homeless man that she had seen earlier eating crickets reaches in and takes it.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: Then the final scene is actually him turning into some winged demon that flies away into the night.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: Then we see the Lamette configuration is up for sale again.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: This movie is actually based on Clive Barker's The Hellbound Heart from 1986, which I definitely need to read.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know it existed.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go ahead and run down my five E's and see how many wine glasses this movie deserves.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: Eerie?
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think I would even call it eerie.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: There's some scary parts in there, but it doesn't have that haunted house feel.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: The environment's pretty good.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'd go ahead and give it a wine glass.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: I like it when the centibytes come around.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: Evil?
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I'm gonna give this two wine glasses, but I think Julia was the most evil thing in this movie.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: She would do anything for Frank's dick.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Empathy?
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Not an ounce.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: Entertaining?
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: Hell yeah, I'm gonna give it two wine glasses.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's a pretty good story, and the effects are pretty good for the time.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we're talking 1987.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: And those centibytes are scary.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, this first one will always be my favorite, but somebody liked this movie because there are 11 movies in the entire franchise.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: There's Hellraiser 2, Hellraiser 3, Hell on Earth, Bloodline, Inferno, Hellseeker, Debtor, Hellworld, Revelations, Judgment, and The Reboot from 2022.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, I did just read down a list.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: This is one I'd probably wait a year and watch it again.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: I wouldn't call it a comfort movie, but it does have the nostalgia of the 1980s.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: If you haven't watched it, drink some wine, give it a watch, get scared, and don't fuck with those puzzle boxes.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: Next week's movie is going to be The Evil Dead from 1981, so until then, and people stay away from that dick that just makes you insane.