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Episode 14 - Tammany the Only Lastin Democracy · Plunkitt of Tammany Hall

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  Chapter fourteen, Tammany the only lasting democracy. I've seen more than one hundred
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  democracies rise and fall in New York City in the last quarter of a century.
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  At least a half dozen new so called democratic organizations are formed every year.
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  All of them go into down Tammany and take its place, but they
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  seldom last more than a year or two. While Tammany's, like the everlasting
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  rocks, the eternal hills, and the blockades on the l Road, it
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  goes on forever. I recall off hand the County Democracy, which was the
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  only real opponent Tammany had in my time, the Irving Hall Democracy, the
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  New York State Democracy, the German American Democracy, the Protection Democracy, the
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  Independent County Democracy, the Greater New York Democracy, the Jimmy O'Brien democracy,
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  the Delicatessen Dealer's Democracy, the Silver Democracy, and the Italian Democracy. Not
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  one of them is living today, although I hear something about the ghost of
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  the Greater New York Democracy being seen on Broadway once or twice a year.
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  In the old days of the County Democracy, a new democratic organization meant some
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  trouble for Tammany for a time. Anyhow, Nowadays, a new democracy means
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  nothing at all except that about a dozen bone hunters have got together for one
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  campaign only to try to induce Tammany to give them a job or two,
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  or in order to get in with the reformers for the same purpose. You
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  might think that it would cost a lot of money to get up one of
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  these organizations and keep it going for even one campaign, But Lord bless you,
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  it costs next to nothing. Jimmy O'Brien brought the manufacture of democracies down
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  to an exact science and reduced the cost of productions so as to bring it
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  within the reach of all. Any man fifty dollars can now have a democracy
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  of his own. I've looked into the industry and can give rock bottom figures.
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  Here's the items of cost of a new democracy. Dinner to twelve bone
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  hunters twelve dollars, a speech on Jeffersonian democracy zero dollars, a proclamation of
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  principles, typewriting two dollars. Rent of a small room one month for headquarters
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  twelve dollars, stationary two dollars, twelve second hand chairs six dollars, one
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  second hand table two dollars twenty nine cuspidors nine dollars sign painting five dollars,
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  total fifty dollars. Is there any reason for wonder, then, that democracies
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  spring up all over when a municipal campaign is coming on. If you land
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  even one small job, you get a big return on your investment. You
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  don't have to pay for advertising into papers. The New York papers tumble over
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  one another to give columns to any new organization that comes out against Tammany.
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  In describing the formation of a democracy on the fifty dollars basis, according to
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  the items I give, the papers would say something like this, The organization
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  of the Delicatessen Democracy last night threatens the existence of Tammany Hall. It is
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  a grand move for a new and pure democracy in this city. Well,
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  may the Tammany leaders be alarmed. Panic has already broke loose in Fourteenth Street.
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  The vast crowd that gathered at the launching of the new organization, the
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  stern speeches, and the proclamation of principles mean that at last there is an
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  uprising that will end Tammany's career of corruption. The Delicatessen Democracy will open in
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  a few days spacious headquarters where all true democrats may gather and prepare for the
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  fight. Say, ain't some of the papers awful gullible about politics, talk
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  about commons from Iowa or Texas? They ain't in it with this childlike simplicity
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  of these papers. It's a wonder to me that more men don't go into
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  this kind of manufacturing industry. It has bigger profits generally than the green goods
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  business, and none of the risks, and you don't have to invest as
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  much as the green goods men. Just see what good things some of these
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  democracies got in the last few years. The New York State Democracy in eighteen
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  ninety seven landed a Supreme Court justiceship for the man who manufactured the concern,
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  a fourteen year term at seventeen thousand, five hundred dollars a year. That
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  is two hundred and forty five thousand dollars. You see, Tammany was rather
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  scared that year and was bluffed into given this job to get the support of
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  the State Democracy, which by the way, went out of business quick and
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  prompt the day after it got this big plum. The next year the German
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  Democracy landed a place of the same kind. And then see how the greater
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  New York Democracy worked the game on the Reformers in nineteen oh one. The
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  men who managed this concern were former tammy Knites who had lost their grip.
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  Yet they made the citizens Union innocents believe that they were the real thing in
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  the way of reformers, and that they had one hundred thousand voter back of
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  them. They got the borough president of Manhattan, the president of the Board
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  of Aldermen, the registrar, and a lot of lesser places. It was
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  the greatest bunco game of modern times. And then in eighteen ninety four,
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  when Strong was elected mayor, what a harvest it was for all the little
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  democracies that was made to order that year. Every one of them got something
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  good. In one case, all the nine men in an organization got jobs
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  paying from two thousand to five thousand dollars. I happen to know exactly what
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  it cost to manufacture that organization. It was forty two dollars and four cents.
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  They left out the stationery and had only twenty three cuspidors. The extra
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  four cents was for two postage stamps. The only reason I can imagine why
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  more men don't go into this industry is because they don't know about it,
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  and just here it strikes me that it might not be wise to publish what
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  I've said. Perhaps if it gets to be known what a snap this manufacture
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  of democracies is. All the green goods men, the boncos steelers, and
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  the young Napoleons of finance will go into it, and the public will be
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  humbug more than it has been. But after all, what difference would it
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  make. There's always a certain number of suckers and a certain number of men
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  looking for a chance to take them in, and the suckers are sure to
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  be took one way or another. It's the everlasting law of demand and supply.
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  End of Chapter fourteen.