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Making the Time: Finding Purpose and Well Being Through Compassionate Self-Care · The Inspired Speaker Network

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Your travels have brought you to the Surfing Your Edge podcast,
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where we explore what it takes to create the bigger,
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bolder, badass life you know you were born for.
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Not a life that simply looks good on paper,
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and not another spin on the self-help hamster wheel.
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If you're ready for more joy, more peace, and more contribution,
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you're in the right place.
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I'm Kristine Goad, the Surfing Your Edge coach.
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Let's get surfing.
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I am so excited to be here today with you, Pam.
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We've been in a group together for about a year,
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but we've had very little one-on-one interaction.
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So this is going to be a treat to get to talk to you
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and learn more about you and your life.
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Thank you for being here.
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Thanks, Kristine.
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Yeah, I feel that way too.
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The longer we're in a group and you share different things,
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I identify so much about your struggles with being in business mostly.
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So yeah, I'm glad to share this with you.
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I'm glad to have you here.
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So why don't we just pretend that the audience is getting to know you
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at the same time that I'm getting to know you,
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and if you could just tell me a little bit about yourself and your journey.
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Okay.
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Well, right now I'm in Peterborough, Ontario,
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and I've been here for 37 years.
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So next year I will be here 38 years,
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so I can say I have spent half of my life in Canada
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and half of my life in Maine, so you can do the math.
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And yeah, so I'm retired.
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I'm a retired teacher, and I spent 38 years in education,
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and I sort of start there and go backwards.
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I was a special ed teacher for 25 years because my brother,
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he was third in the family, he was born with Down syndrome.
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And way back in the 50s and 60s,
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parents were encouraged to send them to the institution in Maine.
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It was called Pineland.
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And so he lived there from age six until 13 when he suddenly died.
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He had rheumatic fever.
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Yeah, and I don't know whether they told my parents that he had been ill,
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but the effects of that, his heart just stopped at 13.
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I was 16, 17 at the time,
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and I had known sort of what I wanted to do,
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but I knew then I wanted to be a special ed teacher.
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So his life, you know, it crafted who I was, and I loved it.
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I just loved it.
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I was a special ed teacher, and for 16 years,
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I taught in the state of Maine, in Norway, Maine.
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And in the meantime of that in my life,
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by the time I was about 35, I was married and divorced twice.
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So my life had a lot of upheaval, but my job remained the same.
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It stayed the same.
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It was like a firm post in my life.
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So after I went through that and began to get some perspective,
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I learned, because in my family, I don't know, it is relevant.
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I grew up in a home with alcoholism.
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My mom had the disease, and so that impacted a lot.
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But luckily I was able to find a group and a fellowship
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where I began to heal and grow.
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And so in the meantime, I met my third husband,
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and he was from Canada.
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We had a long-distance relationship for a number of years,
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and then I moved with my young 13, 14-year-old daughter
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and have been here ever since.
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And so I can carry on the special ed, teaching special ed,
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and then I had other opportunities in teaching.
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And then after I retired, became a coach.
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I love that.
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Yeah.
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I'm realizing, oh, God, I'm the age I am.
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There's more and more and more.
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Yes.
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Isn't that incredible?
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I think the generation that came before us was led to believe that
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after retirement there was very little left, right?
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And we're finding the exact opposite.
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I am so inspired by the women I know in their 60s, 70s, 80s,
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who are still building something of their own and going with just gusto
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and fire, and I love that.
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Thanks.
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Yeah, because sometimes it feels like it's a smoldering fire.
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Yeah, and I think that's probably true at any age.
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Maybe as we get – well, I can't say maybe.
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I know that as my body is aging and the chemistry in my brain is changing,
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things are changing.
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I do things slower.
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I forget more.
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So I know it does get harder.
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But if we're still on this planet, there's a reason, right?
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We've still got more to do and more to learn and more to be.
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Yeah, yeah, more to learn.
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There's always more to learn.
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I used to feel that way when I was a teacher.
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There's always more to learn.
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And now even at my age, it's still so many things.
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As I try new things, oh, I have to learn new things to go with it
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in order to do it.
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So I like it.
6:02
Wonderful.
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It sounds like you've surfed many, many edges in your life.
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Is there one in particular that you feel really changed who you are
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or how you show up in the world?
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I think the soft one was finding a group that could help me learn the 12 steps.
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And then that really changed a lot, changed my perspective.
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It healed a lot so that I could be more of who I was meant to be
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and learning how I was and how it didn't work.
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So that was a huge one.
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But it just doesn't feel like a big one.
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It was just one foot in front of the other.
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And one of the things coming to Canada, I was also able to find a similar group
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to be in.
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Yeah, it's just one foot in front of the other.
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It wasn't like, you know, I love that imagery that you have of the surfing.
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Now, I've never surfed, but I've seen surfers carrying their surfboard.
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It wasn't like plunging in and doing it.
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It was just continuing on.
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So I think a big one was coming to Canada
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because it meant changing my daughter's location.
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But I was getting a new job.
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For 16 years, I taught at the same school district in the same school,
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and I started a new program in special ed in Canada when I came.
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And so there were a lot of waves too.
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It was a ride when I came to Canada.
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And then also go through the grieving process of leaving home, leaving Maine.
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It was a wonderful move.
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I do not regret it at all, but there was that grief of, you know,
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we didn't have the same friends in the same location.
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So that was a big one, and it did change
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because I was doing a little bit different type of teaching,
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sort of the same but different with different age group of students.
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And so I had to adapt to that.
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And then helping my daughter, who really wasn't that keen on it.
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So, you know, surfing that age.
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Being a mother, oh, my God, that's a huge wave.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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And that was in years pre-Zoom,
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when the connections you had with people back home,
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now you're doing international calls.
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And back in the day, you were probably paying by the minute.
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I forgot about that.
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With friends and family that you were missing,
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and it was a different world.
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I think moving then would be much harder than moving now.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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A lot of phone calls.
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Yeah, you're right.
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Staying in that connection.
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Yeah.
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That's true.
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That's true.
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And then traveling back, we went back four times a year to visit.
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Oh, wow.
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Nice.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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So I have a strong connection, but not a strong connection anymore.
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You know, I'm glad.
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I always say all the experiences of my life have brought me to this moment.
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So, you know, being born in the United States, being raised in the state of Maine,
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I am so grateful because it's part of who I am and how I see things now.
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Absolutely.
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Yeah.
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And I love what you said about it never feeling like a giant decision.
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I mean, I know that moving to Canada was a giant decision,
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but that for the most part,
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you put one foot in front of the other and just find your path along the way.
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And I love that.
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I've noticed in the year that I've known you,
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that that's exactly what you're doing in your business.
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So can you tell me a little bit about the business you're building?
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It's a coaching business.
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I became acquainted with coaching through my teaching job, actually,
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where we were hired to be instructional coaches.
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It was a brand new thing.
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And this was back in, I've been retired 15 years, so it's almost 20 years ago.
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It was something new and surfing that edge.
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And, you know, I found it challenging, but also sort of rewarding.
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But I also learned that I was doing a type of coaching called coaching for compliance.
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And then what I do now is coaching for compassion.
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And I went to distinction.
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I thought, no wonder it was so difficult.
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Because when you coach for compliance, you might get resistance.
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And I found there was a lot of resistance.
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Those teachers thought what they were doing was effective.
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And our mandate was to help people change their methodology.
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And so that was, you know, like hurricane waves in some way.
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So anyway, I learned about coaching.
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I began to take courses.
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And that's when I learned the distinction between the two.
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So when I retired, I thought, oh, I was able to hire a coach.
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And I realized the power of that.
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And I thought, I like this.
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I want to learn more about it.
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So when I retired, I decided I did not want to get to be 70 years old
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and look back and say, gee, I wish I had been certified.
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So I looked it up.
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And I did the six-month course and became certified through CTI.
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And then, you know, I was thinking of this beforehand.
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It was sort of like I felt like I was pulled by the tide doing this coaching,
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learning how to do it.
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And they said, well, now you have a business.
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I do.
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Okay.
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So this is what you have to do.
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So I did.
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Now, I've done this since 2013.
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And some people would say, Pam, you don't have a business.
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You have a hobby.
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Okay.
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But I really loved the connection I was making with mostly women but some men,
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the change that they had within themselves just by me asking questions.
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Yes.
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So I have, you know, I've tried all kinds of things.
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And my latest thing that I have done was the last couple of years trying to make
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all the information I've learned.
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And my focus was on self-compassion because I realized that's what I was hearing
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that was missing from most of the people I was coaching.
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They were pretty hard on themselves.
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I thought, how can I make this into a game?
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So I began playing with making games.
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And then I heard about the course, Marcy's course in making cards, card deck.
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And I've used card decks.
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I thought maybe I can use my experience.
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So I created this card deck, and I call it an Oracle deck of making the time.
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And it's all about self-care.
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And so that's where I'm at now.
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And it's like one tiny step after another, getting it into shops
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and beginning to do workshops and that kind of thing.
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But the coaching, I love the coaching because of the change I see in them.
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And any time I get off a call coaching someone,
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I feel more alive than I did when I started.
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Yeah, I agree with you.
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Yeah.
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Anyway.
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And so I love it.
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You're like, well, let's get certified.
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Okay, now you have a business and you're coaching clients.
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Okay.
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And it's like, okay, now I recognize that I have a body of work that I want to share.
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So let's create a card deck.
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Okay.
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Now, how am I going to market this card deck?
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And so you want to tell me a little bit about the choices you've made about how to market?
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Yeah, the marketing.
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Marketing has parts of me that are quite hard on myself.
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I go back to I'm a teacher, a businesswoman.
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Okay, but now I'm a businesswoman.
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Okay.
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So in marketing, I have, well, I've tried Facebook.
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I've done Facebook lives where I will choose decks one day a week, choose cards one day a week.
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And then on Friday, I would do a Facebook live and just put it all together.
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Because that's the whole point of using the four cards.
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Where does it take you?
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I don't tell anybody.
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My self-care deck is not a prescribed recipe into your self-care.
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But I'm giving you loving kindness statements and action words to stimulate that within you.
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So I've done a little bit of speaking.
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And that was before the cards.
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So it's just, I guess it's like a hit or miss.
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You know, I just keep swinging.
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So I keep taking courses and I keep taking out vendor tables.
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So yeah, that's the way I'm doing it.
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And you're forgetting a giant piece, which I tend to forget too.
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You started a podcast.
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Oh, yes.
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And I started a podcast.
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And what is the name of your podcast?
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And who do you have on as guests?
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Okay, so it's called Making the Time, which is the name of the deck.
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And I realized that I had these 14 areas of self-care.
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And I thought, hey, I could get someone that knows something about each of those areas.
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And just ask them questions about how do you take care of yourself?
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What do you think self-care is?
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And how does it relate to this area?
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And how does it relate to all the other areas in your life?
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Because that's one of the things.
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Each one of these cards, you know, because it goes physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, relational, financial, creative, workspace, and there are others.
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When you work on one, you actually impact many of the others.
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It's like that spider web kind of thing.
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So I have just thought of people I knew.
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And I had you on to talk about the category of the inner child, because it's all part of our self-care.
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And it's mostly people that I just know that will be able to talk a little bit about that and guide the listeners into thinking for themselves.
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What does that area mean to them?
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But you didn't know how to create a podcast, right?
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It just came up and then you're like, oh, how do I do this?
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And you just put one foot in front of the other and created a podcast.
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It was just like an overnight thing.
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It's just like, oh, yeah, I just created a podcast.
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I just started inviting women to talk to me about my card deck.
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And it was just phenomenal to watch.
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It was just, you are definitely building your own path, right?
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You are discovering your path and creating your own unique path.
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You're not following anyone else's formula.
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You're learning what other people have to offer.
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But you're really making your own decisions and just taking a step and looking around and then deciding, okay, this is the next step.
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And this makes sense, right?
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And are you building a business?
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I think I know the answer to this.
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But let me just ask, are you building a business that really does feel like you're letting yourself become more of who you were meant to be?
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I think so, because I'm doing things that are uncomfortable.
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And if I weren't doing this, what would I be?
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I asked myself, what would I be doing?
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I might volunteer more, which is gratifying also.
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But it does push me to get out of that, to get out of the mindset of, oh, this isn't working, nobody's listening.
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Because that's a very, I've always had a strong, negative self-talk.
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And I have to work on that.
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Thus, I have in my coverage, one of the suits are the internal obstacles.
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Because I have to, they're with me all the time and learning how to befriend them and learn from them.
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And the person I learned how to do the podcast from was my granddaughter.
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Really?
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I did.
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Because she started a podcast.
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And I have to back this up and realize the one foot in front of the other.
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Way back in 2013, when I first became a coach, we had, there is such a thing called International Coaches Week.
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And I thought at the time, hey, the people that really helped me become a coach, I want to interview them.
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There were two or three of them.
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And so I did.
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And nothing became of it.
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But then years later, I found a notebook.
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And I had lists of people when I do my podcast.
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So this has been, I guess, a work in progress.
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But anyway, my granddaughter was talking about doing a podcast.
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And she talked about what software she used.
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So I thought, I'll try that.
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So I did.
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But you're right, the learning curve was, how do you do this?
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And what do you do that?
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And I like to fiddle.
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I like to take things apart, put things back together again.
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And that's what I did.
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But now I have my system.
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I know step one, step two.
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Okay, now I go here.
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Now I go there.
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I love it.
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Well, it is a little machine, right?
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You have to, like, keep feeding this little monster.
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Needs new content.
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And then the content needs to be shared.
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And then you need to go find new guests.
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It's just never-ending.
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So it needs to be something you enjoy.
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And that's what I discovered was I really enjoyed, whether anybody listened or not, I really enjoyed sitting.
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Like we are now, even though it's on Zoom, talking to that person.
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And just, you know, I do have questions ahead of time.
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Partly for me, so I don't forget.
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But I always feel like it gives people a chance to think ahead.
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But it's just, I get to know that interviewee a little bit better.
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I knew of them.
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And so I really enjoy that part of it for myself.
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Which is kind of selfish.
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But it's like, I do have some people that they do listen to it.
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I have a good friend from university.
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She said, I'm really enjoying your podcast.
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Which made me think, oh, good, I'll keep doing it.
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Yes.
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Yeah, that is one of the things I've realized about being a creator this summer in particular.
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I'm trying to grow my sub stack and launch this podcast kind of at the same time.
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And I put out an article on sub stack the other day.
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And it felt so foundational to me.
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It was like, my sub stack is called wishing you wonder.
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And the article was why I wish you wonder.
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And what that means for me.
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And so it felt really, really important.
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And I sent it out to my email list.
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And not a single person opened it the first day.
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And I was like, oh!
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And then I put it out a couple of different ways.
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And sent people to it other ways.
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And now I'm getting a little bit of feedback.
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But it was like, when?
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This is going to sound morbid.
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But I recently lost another friend.
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I've lost too many friends.
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I lost three friends before the age of 50.
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And I just lost another friend before the age of 60.
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And when I wrote that article and put it out there.
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I was thinking, well, thank God I got that done before I die.
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And I'm like, where did that thought come from?
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So it was kind of a shock.
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But it was also true.
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This felt like a really important piece.
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And to put it out there and then you just kind of sit and wait.
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And hope somebody finds it and reads it and says something.
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That's really hard.
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And when you're doing that on multiple fronts.
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Or even if you're doing it on just one front.
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And you're running a solo business.
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It is really hard to just keep putting yourself out there.
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And hoping that somebody will notice it.
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And even if they never say anything.
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Will benefit or enjoy it in some way.
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Yeah.
24:11
And it's like I echo just what you just said.
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And I'm also realizing.
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Because I read your article and I thought, oh, yeah.
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Why you wish us wonder.
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Because that's where life is, is in the wonder.
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And I've had some of those same feelings about.
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I feel as though I just have this empty closet.
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And I'm putting, if I did my Facebook stuff out.
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But sometimes I'd be in a networking event.
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Or I'd be somewhere and someone would say, oh, Pam.
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I saw your post the other day.
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I really enjoy them.
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They come up on my feed.
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Oh, okay.
24:50
Well, thank you.
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And once again, okay, I'll keep doing it.
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And I've heard that from a couple people.
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But nobody comments.
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Nobody even likes them.
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And it's like, oh, well, I learned something.
25:08
Right.
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But it's also, and I lost my train of thought there.
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Now it's knowing that there are people out there.
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They're watching it.
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They might like it a lot.
25:24
They might hate it.
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But they might like it a lot.
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So I just keep doing it.
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Because if one person can gain some insight for themselves,
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then it's worth it.
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So I know just what you mean.
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And so now I found this too with emails and with texts.
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I would sometimes get an email from someone I was on a committee with,
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FYI, but she would feel frustrated because nobody responded.
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So got your email, sounds good.
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And so if somebody sends a networking thing and I know the person,
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they have this thing coming up, I'll read it.
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I can't do it.
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But now I'm trying to get in the practice of emailing them back and saying,
26:13
this sounds fabulous.
26:13
I can't do it.
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Good luck with it.
26:15
You know, that touchstone.
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Yes.
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So I'm learning from, and it's never,
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I don't think it's ever malicious with people just don't write back.
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But it's like now I'm learning, Oh,
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I would love it if somebody said thanks for this.
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I can't do it.
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Right.
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You're absolutely right.
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I have a client.
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I tend to attract neurodivergent clients in particular.
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I'm not even quite sure how I do it.
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I don't put it in my marketing anywhere, but they just find me.
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And I have one and she puts out a monthly newsletter for an organization.
26:52
She's on the board of,
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and she spends hours creating these newsletters and they go out to crickets
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and it just breaks her heart.
27:02
Right.
27:02
So I think you're absolutely right.
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We get so in the mode of, Oh, saw that.
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Can't do it.
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You know, click it off and we're just moving on.
27:11
And we need to remember that it's relational.
27:13
And there is somebody on the other end who really would appreciate.
27:17
I saw that.
27:18
I saw your work.
27:19
I appreciate you.
27:21
Thank you for what you do to bring us together.
27:25
Yeah.
27:25
Yeah.
27:26
And it is like that.
27:28
I always call self-compassion and self-care, like a ripple effect.
27:32
It's those ripples go out, but when they hit the shore, you know,
27:36
they come back in to having been in a kayak.
27:40
Yes.
27:41
And dealt with the ones coming straight on, but then further.
27:49
There's a great analogy in there, isn't there?
27:52
Exactly.
27:54
So it's, yeah, that ripple effect.
27:56
And of course they'll, you know, why, why do I want to do this?
28:00
Because self-care to me is an expression of self-compassion.
28:06
What I've learned is that it's not a very business savvy term.
28:11
People have said to me all along, don't lead with that.
28:14
Don't.
28:15
And I'm going, why not?
28:16
We need it.
28:17
And so now I'm seeing, you know,
28:21
the mainstream more and more about self-care.
28:24
But my thinking is when we, and I think they've shown this in science,
28:30
when we take care of ourselves, well,
28:33
we have more capacity to then take care of others.
28:37
And when someone else receives that care,
28:40
then they have that opportunity to take care of themselves and pass it on.
28:45
So that's my hope.
28:47
I keep thinking of the airlines with the oxygen mask.
28:52
You cannot help the person beside you if you can't breathe.
28:57
So that's, and it's sort of like very nebulous kind of thing, you know,
29:01
but if somebody can be a little bit kinder to themselves,
29:06
perhaps they'll be a little kinder to the people they live with or work with.
29:11
Plus the people you live and work with will see you taking care of yourself
29:15
and see you as an example and learn, right?
29:18
You have young grandchildren.
29:21
Great grandchildren.
29:23
Who are going to need to know these skills and know that they're worth it.
29:27
Right.
29:28
I think,
29:29
I think that's the hardest thing for women to recognize is that their worth
29:34
is not in just what they do, but,
29:39
but in who they're being and taking care of yourself.
29:44
I loved what you said about self-care being an expression of self-compassion
29:50
and action and active expression of self-compassion.
29:54
I think that's beautiful.
29:56
And we just don't give ourselves the time or feel like we're worth it.
30:02
Or when you had me on your podcast and you asked me, what is self-care?
30:08
I don't know.
30:09
I don't think I do it.
30:12
You know, for me, it's play.
30:13
I think that's the biggest way I take care of myself is to play.
30:19
But so I just think it's,
30:21
I think it's a way of being in the world and other people need to,
30:26
will benefit from you taking care of yourself,
30:28
but will also need to see an example of how to do it.
30:34
Yeah.
30:35
Yeah.
30:36
And I've been thinking about this whole idea of being and doing,
30:40
because in coaching, it's a big foundational piece.
30:45
And we cannot be either or.
30:50
To me, it has to be both.
30:52
If we overdo the do, I get sick.
30:57
If I overdo the being, I get inertia.
31:02
You know, that being, I can be calm and content and sit in my backyard
31:08
and being appreciative, you know, which gives me energy,
31:12
but being at some point, I just kind of go.
31:16
So for me, anyway, it's like, it's like that yin and yang.
31:20
It's like it has to blend.
31:21
So I have to think to myself,
31:23
who and how am I being when I have to be doing whatever it is I'm doing?
31:31
And that's that conscious present moment awareness.
31:37
Yeah.
31:38
And then sometimes it's, you know, speaking.
31:40
I usually am quite nervous.
31:43
And if I can recognize that and call myself out for it in that moment,
31:48
I can continue doing the talk or whatever.
31:52
Yeah.
31:53
You're dropping little gems all through this conversation.
31:56
So thank you for that.
31:58
I love that.
32:00
Do you have the cards nearby?
32:02
I do.
32:03
I always have them in front of my computer.
32:05
I was going to say, I bet you do.
32:07
Would you like to pull a card for the audience?
32:11
Sure.
32:12
Now I have, I'm going to let you decide.
32:15
Because I have from my own organization, I have them in their, the suits.
32:23
Okay.
32:24
So do we need wisdom?
32:26
Oh, I do this sometimes when I'm out in a vendor table, just to gauge people.
32:30
Would you like a wisdom card or an action card today?
32:34
How?
32:35
Because the internal obstacle, we always go to that.
32:38
So we do wait on that one.
32:40
So would you like a wisdom card or an action card?
32:43
And then we'll pull a self-care card and see where it matches.
32:48
Let's do action.
32:50
Okay.
32:50
Action.
32:51
All right.
32:51
So here they are.
32:54
Oh, they got split up here.
32:56
There we go.
33:01
All right.
33:02
So I'm going to shuffle them up here.
33:07
Oh, my God.
33:09
Who shuffled these cards on me?
33:13
Okay.
33:14
So, all right.
33:19
Oh, now there are 14.
33:21
Give me a number from one to 14.
33:24
Seven.
33:26
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
33:31
It says admit.
33:33
All right.
33:35
Now I have to hold it here because I'm blurred here, but I'll read it to you.
33:39
Admit.
33:39
I admit the truth to myself with gentleness and integrity.
33:50
So let's see which self-care category we could apply that to.
33:56
And this is how I would use it if I were working with someone.
34:02
Particularly if they came to coaching and said, what do you want coaching on?
34:05
I'm not sure.
34:07
Because I was that person.
34:08
Because it wasn't, I'm not sure.
34:10
Oh, I don't want to be wrong.
34:12
Yeah.
34:14
Yeah.
34:14
Might be the wrong one.
34:15
So, number from one to 14.
34:18
Three.
34:20
One, two, three.
34:22
Ah, isn't that interesting?
34:24
My inner child.
34:26
Oh, that's so funny.
34:27
Isn't that funny?
34:28
Because that's the topic you talked about when we were on the podcast,
34:34
which is going to go out next week, next Wednesday.
34:38
So, okay.
34:40
So, admit.
34:41
I admit the truth to myself with gentleness and integrity.
34:46
What needs, or what does your inner child want to admit the truth about?
34:55
Here's another way to do it.
34:57
And just let that, or what do you need to admit about your inner child?
35:07
So, yeah.
35:09
And to do it with gentleness and integrity.
35:14
Yes.
35:15
Not gentleness.
35:17
That might mean doing it slow.
35:20
Right?
35:21
Not just dumping something out there.
35:25
Exactly.
35:25
And I love the way you just considered that.
35:28
And I find that even when, you know, I'm doing this with the public,
35:33
and they will just kind of look at it and go, oh.
35:36
Because, and I reminded one woman, we were taught in coaching that you can ask questions,
35:42
and sometimes those questions will land, and sometimes it will seem as though
35:46
the person looks at you like a deer in the headlight.
35:50
And the leader said to us, don't worry about it.
35:54
Go on to the next question.
35:55
Because that question they couldn't answer, or they had to really pause on,
36:00
will work on them, and it will come back to them later on in hours to come in a day.
36:08
Yeah.
36:10
Yeah.
36:11
I love that.
36:13
So, if you were speaking with someone who is just learning
36:20
how to experiment with surfing their edge,
36:25
they've lived, you know, they've jumped through all the hoops,
36:28
and they've kind of lived the life they were told they were supposed to live.
36:33
And maybe now they're feeling like, you know,
36:38
maybe it's retirement age, and they're not ready to be done, right?
36:45
What advice would you give to someone who is just learning to create their own path?
36:51
Like, what are one or two pieces of wisdom you have?
36:57
Well, one thing is find a coach, find a good coach,
37:01
because you don't have to do it alone.
37:04
And you don't have to do it forever.
37:06
You might do it for a couple of weeks.
37:10
The other thing is, what do you wonder about?
37:17
You talk about wonder, but what do you wonder about?
37:22
Or what do you love to do?
37:23
What do you like to play at?
37:27
What are you good at?
37:30
Because those are things that, or yeah,
37:32
because I wondered about this coaching,
37:37
because it impacted my life.
37:39
I wondered what that would be like to do that with other people.
37:43
And because I was a special ed teacher,
37:46
one of the things that I tried to do is
37:52
help those students see them wherever they were at,
37:56
without comparing themselves,
37:58
and use that strength and build on that.
38:02
And so asking yourself, what are you strong at?
38:05
What are you good at? What do you like to do?
38:08
The other thing is, if you're just retiring,
38:11
give yourself six months to eight months to nine months.
38:17
Don't have anything planned.
38:18
Just kind of play, explore.
38:22
And it doesn't have to be things that you have to pay for.
38:28
But just let yourself be
38:32
while you let the doing of your job kind of slow down.
38:39
I love that. I love that.
38:40
The curiosity, the experimentation,
38:43
the seeing what presents itself and following that path.
38:47
That's really beautiful.
38:50
I just started rowing this summer for the first time,
38:54
and I was in sculling camp with a woman who had just retired,
38:57
like the week before camp started.
38:59
And she was like, I don't know what I'm going to do,
39:01
but I'm not going to sit on the couch with my husband all day.
39:04
So she's like, I signed up for this camp.
39:09
OK, so we've got your wisdom.
39:12
We've got your cards.
39:15
Do you have a gift that you'd like to have available to listeners?
39:20
I do. I have a meditation,
39:24
and it's breathing from the heart.
39:27
And it's about two minutes.
39:29
It's not long, but it will allow you to stop and slow down.
39:36
Nice. Nice.
39:38
And I love that it's doable, right?
39:40
Once you learn it, you can probably do it anywhere.
39:43
You can listen to it over and over.
39:47
So I yes.
39:48
So if you can put my email
39:53
and I can send people the link
39:56
or I will create a Dropbox link.
40:01
How's that?
40:02
Great. And I'll put that in the show notes
40:04
and it'll be in our gift vault on the Inspired Speaker Network as well.
40:08
So people can find you.
40:11
And let's see.
40:13
This is the way.
40:14
Actually, I'm going to ask two more questions.
40:17
Do you have time for two more questions?
40:20
Yeah.
40:20
OK. OK.
40:22
So I'm going to ask two more questions.
40:24
I'm going to ask one.
40:28
What edge do you think you're surfing right now?
40:31
If you were to name it,
40:32
what would you call the edge you're surfing?
40:37
Hmm.
40:40
I have to think about this one.
40:42
The edge I'm surfing.
40:45
You know, I think that it's making me emotional.
40:51
The edge I'm surfing now is being all I can be and learn
40:56
for as long as I can.
40:59
Because I also recognize that I have an expiry date, too.
41:03
Now, I'd like to have it end when I'm 100.
41:06
But I also realize that that's not reality.
41:10
So I want to do as much as I can
41:15
and be as much as I can,
41:17
particularly with my great-grands,
41:20
for as long as I can do it.
41:22
I love that.
41:23
So that's the edge.
41:26
Because I don't feel 75.
41:31
And I can't be flippant with, you know,
41:36
I'll last forever. No, no, no.
41:38
So I think that's the edge,
41:40
doing as much as I can
41:42
and then being able to accept when I can't.
41:47
It's still out there,
41:49
but it's like that big wave out there that's coming,
41:53
and I want to be ready to get up on that.
41:59
That was beautiful. Thank you.
42:03
So my last question is,
42:05
is there a question you wish I had asked that I haven't?
42:09
Or anything that you'd like to say
42:11
to make the conversation feel complete?
42:15
Hmm. Yeah.
42:19
You know, this is the only moment we have.
42:23
There you are in Maryland on the screen,
42:26
and I'm in Peterborough, Ontario.
42:28
And yet, this is the moment we have.
42:31
And just take the time every once in a while
42:35
during the day to remember that.
42:37
This moment.
42:41
Beautiful. That is a perfect ending.
42:44
Thank you very much for this time today, Pam.
42:46
It has been a true pleasure.
42:50
Thank you, Kristine,
42:51
for letting me get to know you
42:52
and being able to do this for you and for others.
42:57
And if you're listening,
42:59
thank you very much for following us along.
43:01
I will see you next week.
43:03
And until then, I'm wishing you wonder.