Latest / R.E.A.L. Talk for REAL L.Y.F.E. / Extracted, Not Transformed: When Your Environment Comes With You

Transcript

Extracted, Not Transformed: When Your Environment Comes With You · R.E.A.L. Talk for REAL L.Y.F.E.

• 0:00
  Welcome to Real Talk for Real Life, where we're realizing everyone is always
• 0:07
  learning and living your full experience.
• 0:12
  I'm your host, Coach C, and this is your Fearless Friday episode,
• 0:17
  Extracted from Your Environment.
• 0:21
  Today, we're talking about something that every single one of us has experienced,
• 0:28
  whether we realize it or not, extracted from your environment.
• 0:34
  And I mean that both literally and figuratively. See, most of us have physically left where we came from.
• 0:41
  We've moved. We've grown up.
• 0:44
  We've started careers, built families, created businesses, changed zip codes.
• 0:51
  But here's the real question.
• 0:54
  Have you actually left your environment?
• 0:58
  Or did your environment leave with you?
• 1:02
  Real talk. Y'all remember when people used to say, she gets it from her mama,
• 1:08
  he's just like his daddy?
• 1:10
  Sometimes that's a compliment.
• 1:13
  Sometimes not so much. Because whether we want to admit it or not,
• 1:19
  we inherited more than eye color, dimples, and cheekbones.
• 1:24
  We inherited mindsets, communication styles, money habits, relationship patterns,
• 1:32
  conflict resolution, or conflict avoidance,
• 1:37
  people-pleasing, fear, scarcity, silence, anger, pride, low expectations,
• 1:46
  even the way we celebrate, greed, forgive, and love.
• 1:52
  Some of those things served our families in one season.
• 1:56
  Some were survival mechanisms, some were protection, but survival isn't always
• 2:03
  the same thing as living.
• 2:05
  And just because something helped your family survive doesn't mean it's helping you thrive.
• 2:11
  That's why I always say some things have to be unlearned.
• 2:17
  Not because your parents were bad people, not because your family failed you,
• 2:22
  but because every generation has the opportunity to heal what the previous generation normalized.
• 2:31
  Here's the danger. You can be extracted from an unhealthy environment and still
• 2:37
  carry the environment inside of you.
• 2:40
  You've changed addresses, but not your thinking. You've changed jobs, but not your habits.
• 2:48
  You've changed relationships, but not your emotional responses.
• 2:53
  You've changed churches, but not your heart posture.
• 2:57
  Extraction without transformation is simply relocation. Let that sink in.
• 3:05
  When a moving company packs your belongings, they don't decide what deserves
• 3:11
  to go into the new house. You do.
• 3:14
  Some things get packed. Some things get donated. Some things get thrown away. Why?
• 3:22
  Because everything from the old place doesn't belong in the new one.
• 3:28
  Neither does everything from your past belong in your future.
• 3:32
  Some beliefs need to be dumped. Some narratives need to be debunked.
• 3:39
  Some fears need to expire. Some labels need to be left behind.
• 3:46
  Some family traditions deserve to continue.
• 3:49
  Others deserve to end with you. You get to decide.
• 3:55
  You are not dishonoring your family by growing beyond what they knew.
• 4:01
  You're honoring their sacrifices by becoming what they hoped was possible.
• 4:07
  So don't just celebrate that you've been extracted. Celebrate that you're being transformed.
• 4:15
  Because the greatest freedom isn't leaving the environment.
• 4:19
  The greatest freedom is refusing to let the environment continue living through you.
• 4:27
  Here's your fearless homework. This week, make two lists.
• 4:31
  On the first list, write down five things you're grateful your family gave you. Maybe it's faith.
• 4:39
  Maybe it's resilience. Maybe it's generosity. Maybe it's hard work. Maybe it's loyalty.
• 4:47
  Honor those things. Now, make a second list.
• 4:51
  Write down the habits, beliefs, reactions, or patterns that no longer serve
• 4:59
  the life you're building.
• 5:00
  Be honest, no judgment, just awareness.
• 5:05
  Then choose one thing from that second list and intentionally interrupt it this week.
• 5:12
  If your family avoided hard conversations, have one.
• 5:16
  If your family never apologized, be the first.
• 5:21
  If your family believed we'll never have enough, practice generosity.
• 5:27
  If your family stuffed emotions, express one in a healthy way.
• 5:32
  Remember, generational change doesn't happen because one person notices the pattern.
• 5:40
  It happens because one person decides it stops with me.
• 5:46
  This is Real Talk for Real Life where we're realizing everyone is always learning
• 5:53
  and living your full experience.
• 5:56
  Make sure you're following me on Instagram and Facebook at Real Talk for Real Life.
• 6:02
  That's L-Y-F-E for more inspiration, merchandise, and motivation between episodes.
• 6:09
  This is Coach C. I'll see you in the next one.