Latest / R.E.A.L. Talk for REAL L.Y.F.E. / Be Picky With People: Protect Your Next-Level Success

Transcript

Be Picky With People: Protect Your Next-Level Success · R.E.A.L. Talk for REAL L.Y.F.E.

• 0:00
  Welcome to Real Talk for Real Life, where we're realizing everyone is always
• 0:07
  learning and living your full experience.
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  I'm your host, Coach C, and this is your Winning Wednesday episode. Be picky with people.
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  I said what I said. We need to be picky with people.
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  Yeah, the same way we're picky with our appetite, picky about our appearance,
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  picky about acceptance, we need to start being a whole lot more picky with people.
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  Because here's the thing, the people we surround ourselves with,
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  whether we acknowledge it or accept it as fact or not, have the ability to affect our aptitude.
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  They become our circle of influence. I know, I know.
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  I hear somebody already. Not me, Coach C. I'm my own person.
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  Don't nobody change my movement. I make my own decisions.
• 1:03
  Honey, they do.
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  And if human beings weren't influenced by other human beings,
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  explain to me why being a social media influencer is now an entire career choice. I'll wait.
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  Companies literally pay people because they understand one simple fact.
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  People influence people. What somebody wears, what somebody buys,
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  where somebody eats, how somebody thinks, what somebody believes is possible,
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  what somebody starts accepting as normal.
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  You are either being influenced or you're doing some influencing.
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  And most of the time you're doing both.
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  That's what I'm saying on this Winning Wednesday.
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  If you want to start winning, if you want to continue winning,
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  and especially if you're trying
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  to win at the next level, you've got to become more picky with people.
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  And listen, being picky with people doesn't mean you suddenly think you're better than everybody.
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  It doesn't mean everybody who isn't where you're going gets cut off.
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  And it definitely doesn't mean you
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  need to start walking around inspecting people's lives with a clipboard.
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  Nah, I'm talking about access.
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  Who gets access to your dreams? Who gets access to your decisions?
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  Who gets access to your vulnerable moments?
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  Who gets access to your ideas before they've had time to develop?
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  Who gets a seat at the table when you're deciding what comes next?
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  Because everybody you love does not automatically qualify for influence level access.
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  Some of y'all got day one sitting in seats they outgrew a long time ago simply
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  because that's my day one okay,
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  but what has your day one been doing since day 365,
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  Because some of your day ones ain't did you no solid. I said it.
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  Some of them have watched you stay stuck and kept hyping up your foolishness.
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  You tell them you're about to make the same terrible decision for the fifth
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  time and they're like, yes, do you.
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  No, don't let me do me.
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  Apparently me needs somebody to tell me I'm tripping.
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  I need people around me who love me enough to say, coach, that ain't it.
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  I need people who can celebrate me and correct me, encourage me and challenge me.
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  Clap when I'm winning and tell me when I'm getting in my own way,
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  because that's what healthy influence looks like.
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  See, everybody cheering isn't necessarily championing you.
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  Some people will hype up the version of you that requires nothing from them.
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  And here's the part that might sting a little bit. Some people don't mind you being great.
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  They just don't want you being better than them.
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  I said it. Now chew on it because it's the truth. As long as you're both complaining, everything is cool.
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  As long as you're both struggling, everything is cool.
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  As long as you're both talking about what you're going to do, everything is cool.
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  But then you actually do it.
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  You start healing. You start growing. You start becoming disciplined.
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  You start making different decisions. You stop entertaining the same foolishness.
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  You start expecting more from yourself.
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  And suddenly, the energy gets a little weird. Why?
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  Because your growth can become a mirror. and everybody doesn't like what they
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  see when somebody close to them starts changing.
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  But hear me clearly, you don't have to shrink so somebody else can remain comfortable
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  standing beside you and you don't have to hate them either.
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  You don't have to make a dramatic announcement. You don't need a social media
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  post talking about I'm cutting everybody off. Child, no.
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  Sometimes being picky with people simply means changing proximity.
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  I can love you without letting you lead me. I can care about you without consulting you.
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  I can know you without giving you access to everything I'm becoming.
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  And I can appreciate where we've been without requiring you to go everywhere
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  I'm going. That's maturity.
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  Because when you're serious about winning, you have to start asking,
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  does my circle complement my calling or compete with it?
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  Do these people challenge my thinking? Do they celebrate my growth?
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  Can they correct me without trying to control me?
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  Can they watch me elevate without making my elevation about them?
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  And here's another one. Who am I becoming when I'm around them.
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  Because maybe the biggest question isn't whether they're good people.
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  Maybe they're wonderful people. The question is, are they good for the direction you're going?
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  There is a difference.
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  Winning at the next level may require a different level of discernment about
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  who gets close enough to influence you.
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  So yes, be picky. Be picky about who gets your time. Be picky about who gets your energy.
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  Be picky about who gets your ear.
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  Be picky about who gets access to your vision.
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  Be picky about whose advice becomes your action because your circle of influence
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  can become either a ceiling or a catalyst.
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  And I'm trying to win. So yeah, I'm picky with people.
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  Here's your fearless homework, the influence audit.
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  This week, I want you to identify the five people who have the greatest influence on your life right now.
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  Not necessarily your five favorite people,
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  not the five people you've known the longest, the five people whose words,
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  opinions, behaviors, or presence actually influence you?
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  Write their names down. Then beside each name, answer these three questions.
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  One, who do I become around this person?
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  Do I become more focused, faithful, disciplined, courageous,
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  and accountable, or more distracted, doubtful, complacent, and comfortable?
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  Two, can this person challenge and celebrate me?
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  Can they tell me when I'm wrong without tearing me down? And can they watch
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  me win without becoming weird about it?
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  Three, what level of access should this person have?
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  Maybe they belong in your inner circle. Maybe they're a great friend,
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  but not a trusted advisor.
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  Maybe you love them deeply, but they don't need a vote in your next move.
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  And maybe you realize somebody has been occupying a seat their influence no
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  longer qualifies them to hold.
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  You don't have to create conflict. Just create clarity.
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  Because being picky with people isn't about thinking you're better than people.
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  It's about understanding that when you're serious about where you're going,
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  you have to become serious about what's influencing you along the way.
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  This is Coach C, and this has been another Winning Wednesday edition of Real Talk for Real Life.
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  Your people matter, your proximity matters, your influence matters.
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  So choose wisely, choose fearlessly.
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  And as always, live fearless, keep learning, keep living.
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  This is Real Talk where we're realizing everyone is always learning and living your full experience.
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  Make sure you're following me on Instagram and Facebook at Real Talk for Real
• 9:52
  Life. That's L-Y-F-E for more inspiration, merchandise, and motivation between episodes.
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  This is Coach C. I'll see you in the next one.