Latest / High n' Dry Podcast / Episode 47. It's All Been a Pack of Lies & Michael Myers vs. James Bond (Feat. Reece Merritt, Comedian)

Transcript

Episode 47. It's All Been a Pack of Lies & Michael Myers vs. James Bond (Feat. Reece Merritt, Comedian) · High n' Dry Podcast

• 0:16
  unknown: Boom.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_04: MMA.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_02: Fuck them.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_02: Alright, fuck him.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_02: Alright, here we go.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_04: What are we losing an audience?
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_04: Come on.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, the MMA people are going to be so pissed.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, that demographic.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_03: Earl, Earl.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_03: They're going to come in and be all upset at us.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_03: We lost the MMA vote of Earl and the gay vote.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_04: If we get people hate watching our stream, it'll be better than not watching our stream.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_04: MMA my ass.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_04: Hey, thanks for being here.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_03: We appreciate you.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, oh, Adam's family's coming out this uh uh we could do uh uh Gomez versus Bond.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_02: Um Gomez versus Naruto.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_03: Uh Wednesday Adam versus Carnage.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_04: We should have a we should have a we should have a podcast.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_04: We should have a pro a Patreon level where people can make suggestions about Oh, there is there is for sure, yeah, yeah.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_02: No, and well, so I mean you also have um uh the the final kill Halloween's coming out, so we could do Mike Myers versus Gomez.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_03: I have been watching all of the Halloween movies in chronological order.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_03: Uh just to get ready.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_03: Uh a friend of mine, Jeff, Jeff Webb, he's huge into the Halloween franchises, so we're watching them like every Thursday up until the new one comes out.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I mean, we could do a Mike Myers versus I like Mike Myers versus Daniel Craig.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_02: That'd be kind of cool.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you want to do uh Mike Myers versus Bond.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_04: Alright, let's do it.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_04: Let's do it.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_04: All right, cool.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_04: Michael Myers, the actor.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, of course.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_03: No, we're tired of those jokes.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_03: It's every week we uh Mike Myers is back.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_03: OBA every fucking week.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_04: I don't keep up with comedy.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_01: I like it.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: I like it.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_04: Um I've been studying to be a software engineer for a year and a half.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_04: I haven't I haven't seen any comedy.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_03: Just memes.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_04: I don't even get to see memes.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_04: I stare at my goddamn text editor eight hours a day.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_02: Alright, so we got it then.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_02: All right.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_02: The match has been decided.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_02: Let us get it.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_02: The match created has been decided.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_02: It's time to do this shit.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_02: Let's see here.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_02: So we got someone.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, we got someone spawn versus deadpool.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's a good suggestion.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_04: But I think we already decided.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_04: You got it here.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_04: Who is that?
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_02: I have Machine Broken is saying spawn versus Deadpool.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_02: Um I like it.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_03: I've got a good knowledge of Deadpool and Spawn.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_04: They both have similar masks.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_04: Let's do it.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_04: I'm fine with that too.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_04: Which which which do you like more?
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so we should we do our Michael Myers versus James Bond?
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_02: That is the season.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_03: That is the season.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_02: Or we got our spawn versus Deadpool.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_03: Mike Myers.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_03: I'll flip a coin.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_03: How about Mike Myers versus Deadpool?
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like Deadpool's gonna take that one.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_02: I at least I'd hope.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_02: Um hold on here.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_02: Where's my coin?
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_02: Deadpool's had less movies.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_04: He's died in more movies.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I haven't seen a coin in years.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so uh one is um is gonna be spawn versus deadpool.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_02: Two is going to be wait, shit, how does that work?
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, I get it.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_02: I get it.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_02: What coin do you have?
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_02: Reese.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_02: No, so I'm gonna put a one or a two behind my back.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_02: Reese, you're spawn versus Deadpool.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_02: James, you're going to be um the other one.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_02: So Reese, which one?
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_02: One or two?
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_02: If you're right, we're gonna do spawn versus Deadpool.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_02: Two.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_02: One.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_02: Alright, so we're gonna do sorry, Machine the Broken, come back around some other time.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: Tell them to leave.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: Get the fuck out of here.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: Tell them to leave.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: What the fuck?
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, so it's looking like we're doing Michael Myers.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_02: It's gonna be Michael Myers versus James Bond.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_02: Let's get it on.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_02: So, all right, so everyone, welcome to High and Dry Podcast, the only podcast.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_02: At least we have a good sense of humor about it.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_02: The only podcast where we do all of our own stunts.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_02: And this one, of course, we're also streaming on Twitch.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_02: We just told the first viewer of the day to go fuck himself, and we picked our fight.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome to the show.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_02: I'm Ryan Barron North, your host.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_02: With me as always, James Croslin.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_02: James, what's going on?
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_02: How are you doing?
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_02: Feeling embarrassed.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_04: Just a little embarrassed.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_04: Otherwise, pretty good.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_04: Fuck that guy.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_04: He's not on the page.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_02: I remember I'm ready to get fucked up and have two fictional characters fight.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_02: Hell yeah.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_02: Hell yeah.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_02: And joining us today, he's joining us a third time, maybe?
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_02: Something like that.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_02: Something like that.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_02: We have comedian Reese Merritt.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_03: Reese, what's going on?
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_03: How you been?
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_03: I'm doing pretty good.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_03: Pretty good.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I recently found out that uh any toilet can be a bidet if you're a shitty enough plumber.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's true.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_02: That's true.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_02: That's true.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_04: Um, and it's it's created some impromptu bidets in my time.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_04: Oh I'm I'm very pro bidet.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_03: It changed the game when somebody left me an upper decker.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_03: I'm I'm gonna get rid of it.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_02: Do you do you have a bidet, Ryan?
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_02: I want one so bad.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, it's not so nice.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not living in a house where I could just go fucking with the plumbing right now.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_02: That's fair.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_02: So that's fair.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_02: But I I'm I'm a I'm a pro bidet man.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_02: What do you machine broken?
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_02: Are you a bidet man?
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_02: Um let us know in the comments.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_02: How do you like how do you like to clean your asshole?
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_02: Let's find out.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_02: Let's find out.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_02: So while he's thinking that over, so how the show works for those of you first-time listeners, we open up every episode with a philosophical debate, a conundrum, a quandary, and then it devolves into a fist fight, as those things often do.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_02: But what sets us apart and makes us so goddamn special is that first we get super drunk and we get super high.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_02: So uh that being the case, James, uh, what are you smoking this week?
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_04: Uh this week I've got a wonderful strain that's uh one of my favorites and a pretty popular one, very sought after.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_04: Uh it is called Green Crack, which a lot of people don't like the connotations.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_04: A lot of people don't like the connotations of a hard drug like crack being in the name of marijuana, but I'm a fan.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_04: Let's let's let's up this marijuana.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_04: Let's go hard.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_02: Let's make this something to remember.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_02: All right, so you're gonna have your dancing shoes on.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_02: Reese, uh, what about you?
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_02: You're joining us as a high philosopher as well.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_03: Always.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I uh I am going to be partaking of the uh Maui Wowie strain of the money.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, I'm very excited.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_03: I'm becoming a sativa man slowly but surely.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_03: Um getting over that anxiety.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_04: It's it's hard to come the anxiety that sativas bring is really hard to overcome at the beginning.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_03: But the uh not doing anything in Indica brings you more.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: True.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_03: Uh it is uh it is from Honey Roots, it's a Delta 10 cannabinoid, and uh I love it.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_03: Very nice.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_03: All right, all right.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, Delta 10 is not on the the um what is it, controlled substances list.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yep, we have about 12 more months before this uh before they put this up to a vote again.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_03: So uh hit it up until then.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_02: Hell yeah.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_02: All right.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_02: Well, uh, I'll be taking up the rear with Jack Daniels.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_02: I got a little bit of that left there.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_02: Well, this is uh the Costco Cup right here.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_02: You know, because the big gulp.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, this is the big gulp.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: So this is for long car trips.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_04: You know, you're driving in the desert for all those hours, might as well be fucked up.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_04: Why don't you give them a hint?
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_04: You didn't even tap the brakes.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_04: We're kidding, don't drive drunk.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_03: Pull over, get drunk, then unless you're a bad tipper, then do what you want.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_02: Alright, so let's load it up.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, you hear that nice port, yes.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_02: That was very nice.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_02: I've never done that close before.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_02: So this one for our first toast.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_02: This first toast is going out to Timeless Sandworms everywhere.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_02: Cher, Carl Urban, Pink, and comedian Brees Mered.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not gonna ask.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_02: Just do it.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_04: I'm not in charge of this world building.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_04: I'm just a I'm just a lowly consumer like all of you.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_04: I have no idea where Pink came from.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_04: I sent her a message the other day, and I'm just hoping she responds.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_04: This is why we have to take your phone away after 1 a.m.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, then I start.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: Well, so the reason was so I don't want to blame for my next one, get that one ready.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_01: So uh right now I'm about ten pages off from uh completely having my novel edited, and then I'm gonna start shopping that to the various agents and things like that.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and in this fiction horror novel, um they I'm happy.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_03: I know what you're talking about.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_03: I'm happy.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_02: So so Machine Broken says I could only clean my butthole from the force of a BP oil spill.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_02: A solid singer.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_04: Very nice, very nice.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_04: That's what happens when your butthole is just too durable.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_02: You just sit down and paint the bowl and see what happens.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_02: Well, so anyway, so I'm writing this novel, right?
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_02: And in this horror fiction novel, um, and it's upscale too.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, like it's I'm I'm going for literature.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_02: It's classy, it's classy, it's classy.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_02: Um, pink is referenced all the time.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I need to know if she wants the exclamation point in her fucking name because it kind of dropped off for a little while there.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_02: Pink, get back to us.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so pink, do you want the exclamation point in your name?
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_02: Like if you were to be referenced in a novel.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_02: These are what the fans need to know.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_04: How are we gonna differentiate between all these different pinks?
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_03: Have a bunch of lawyers pulling hair out because they never thought they'd have to answer that question.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_03: Shit.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: Shit.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_02: All right, so now it's time to move on to you as a person.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_02: We gotta get on the horn with this guy.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so we're gonna be on her cease and desist letters as well.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_02: Excellent.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_02: So it's time to move into the second toe, second hit.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_02: This one is going out to our newest listeners in Lions, Oregon.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_02: And we're also gonna pass this one.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_02: This one's gonna go to uh Machine Broken right over there.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks for coming by, Machine Broken.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks for coming by.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_04: Thanks for having a good sense of humor about our jokes at the beginning.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_04: Thank you for being here.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_02: Go fuck yourself.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_04: Cheers yourself.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_04: Follow along if you've got it.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: Else's gonna be good.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_04: Things are gonna get easier.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_02: I don't have enough for a full shot of my number seven there.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_04: Ah, we got some we got some smoke blowing from it from machine broken.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_04: Thank you.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_04: Thank you.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_02: Finish it out.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_02: So what I'm gonna do is tequila.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna top off this old number seven with S Ballone to Kila Blanco.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_04: He hates himself.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_04: That's why he does this.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_04: I want to make that clear to everyone.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_04: This isn't because he loves podcasting, this is because he hates himself.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_01: Cheers.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_04: I must I must torture myself for this.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_02: Well, so third toast.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_02: Um this one, I'd like to this one goes out to James.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_02: James has been working really hard on uh you know a lot of things lately.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_02: I knew him when he was a fucking Uber driver and he just got a huge job offer.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_02: So this one goes out to James to the struggle to finally getting through it.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_04: Thank you so much, man.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_04: I appreciate it.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_04: Cheers.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_02: Cheers.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, that was the worst thing I've ever tasted.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_03: Well, let's see what let's see what happens when you do three shots and one of them is mixing clear and dark.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_02: It'll be fine.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_02: No, yeah, I'm good.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_02: No, I'm good.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_02: It just tastes really bad.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_02: Alright, let's do it.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_02: Alright, so I've gotten a little drunk, we've gotten a little high.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_02: It's time to get into this show.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_02: So, um been thinking of some questions for you guys.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_02: And as I was drinking my Tequiski, what would it be?
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_02: Um Wikila.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_02: Wikila, yeah.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_02: I like drinking my Wikila.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_02: Um I completely forgot what the question was.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_02: So let me pull that up for you guys real quick.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_02: Um, the question I have for you this week.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_04: I'm gonna throw some emotes in chat because I got some good ones from my stream.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_04: Smoked.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, you got uh oh nice, nice.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_02: All right, there we go.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_02: All right, what would you name your boat if you had one?
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_03: That's uh that's a stumper.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_02: Um so while we're working on the question ourselves, so we're gonna have a large philosophical question.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, folks at home, uh, what would you name your boat if you had one?
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_02: Mine would be the jewel of dabye.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_02: You had to have had that in the chamber.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_03: No, I just came up with that.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_03: Like, do you have a magazine with like boats circled of ones?
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_04: And oh, what if I just changed this U to an A?
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_04: It's just one little line right there.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_02: He just hangs out on marinas wearing sweaters over his shoulders.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, you have a boat?
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_04: And he's like, just huh.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_04: So my it all in my Twitch handle is dabolical.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_04: So uh so that's where I got that from.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_04: Just throw dab at where wherever there's a letter between D and B in any word.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_02: So the question I have for you guys today is um you are roaming through the woods, as this sometimes happens to high-end dry philosophers, and a magical frog leaps out, and he says, To you, fair philosopher, um, I will answer the absolute truth to one question.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_01: I think we've had this one.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_01: Have we done that one?
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we've done that one.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like we might have done that one.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_02: We've done something similar.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_02: It's so like with the philosophical questions, they start to kind of like fall on top of each other, you know?
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_02: Because I have one?
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, I do.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, I do.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_04: Don't make this a person wallet like one of our other guests.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_04: We're trusting you here.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_04: Person wallet?
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, don't even don't even go.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_04: Just just make it something good.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_03: No, no.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_03: So um in because we're trying to think of trends and everything like that.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_03: I recently watched the Squid Game.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I haven't seen that one yet.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_03: I'm interested.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_03: Would you would you compete with 500 people for a restart button amount of money?
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_03: If you lose, you die.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_03: Would you stay for six days of deadly games?
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_04: Well, so this is interesting because you've asked the question.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_04: Usually we have the guest answer first.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_04: Would you like to answer first?
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I don't care.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_01: Well, so well, after we have this one, I do have I do finally have the question for us.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_02: So, but but well, this is James, what do you think?
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_04: Would you would you do a squid game?
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_04: Uh prior to 8 30 this morning, there would probably be a good chance.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_01: Without without question.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_04: Uh prior to 8 30 this morning, yeah.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_04: But now I've kind of got a restart amount of money if you extend that over four or five years of employment.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, fair.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it must be nice.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_02: Uh fucking rules, dude.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_02: Well, Reese, what about you?
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_03: Well, since I'm not gauging prices of kidneys and things like that, I don't think I'm at the desperation mark for a restart button.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_03: I would hold I would hold on to the card for later just in case I keep fucking up, but I I think as of right now, I'd uh I'd take the the hundred grand that dude gives me and walk.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_02: Alright, well, so you so you would go for it.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_03: No, no, no.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, oh, well, they offer you$100,000 to leave to say no?
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_03: No, no.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_03: So at the be to get you into the show, they give you a stupid game, and this guy says if you flip this card over by hitting it with this one, then you get a hundred thousand then you get a hundred thousand dollars.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_03: Oh.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_03: And if if he wins, you owe him, but then he slaps you and says it's a hundred thousand a slap.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_03: And so so he keeps doing double or nothing things until you are just so desperate to do it to see if you'd actually go through with the game.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, well, I'll just get slapped around for a little bit.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, like take the hundred grand.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, get slapped around.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_02: 100 grand is restart money in this fucking world.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_03: That yeah, that is that is three years of me working.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, my uh my fucking uh uh I'm not getting anything.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_04: I think it's your headphones.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_02: I got 'em.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_02: Um my yeah, my my cars are paid off.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_02: That like I yeah, I could start a whole fucking new life now.
• 19:09
  unknown: Yeah.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_02: Done.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_02: No, yeah, so no, I'll take 100 grand.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_02: All right.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_02: Well, cool.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_02: Well, that being the case, so now it's time to get the extra.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, suck a dick for like$40.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_03: They have braids about it, so it's apparently really fun.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_03: So I uh yeah I'm in indifferent.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_04: Um obviously, who wouldn't suck a dick for a hundred grand?
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_04: Are you kidding me?
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_02: People do it for free.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_02: That would change my life.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_04: Um that's what a question that nobody says no to.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_02: No, if if you're saying no, you you gotta you gotta figure yourself out.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, if that's how much you hate dicks, come on.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_03: You could probably you could probably get a couple like Amish people in on that, like the Jedias of the world.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_04: You don't even have to enjoy it.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_04: They're like$100,000 will change the shape of my community.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I'm good.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_02: I'm I'm I'm good.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_02: All right, so that being said, it's time to jump into the actual questions.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_02: So the question I have for you guys this week is what piece of knowledge, false piece of knowledge that you feel was like the biggest lie, has someone convinced you to believe?
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_04: The biggest lie I've been convinced to believe.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_04: Is that what you're saying?
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_04: So the biggest, the biggest the biggest lie I've been convinced of.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_02: What was the biggest lie you were ever convinced to believe?
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_02: Um, or were like, what ridiculous thing has someone tricked you into doing or believing?
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_02: So, like, what's the biggest lie that you ever believed in?
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_02: Um this uh might be a little tough, but uh guests first.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_03: I like it.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_03: Um good question.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_03: I like this question.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_03: No, yeah, no, that's solid.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_03: That's that's some that's some Zen crap right there.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_03: That's uh um Yeah.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_02: So for those of you just joining us, the question we are asking right now is what is the biggest lie someone has fooled you personally into believing?
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_02: If you're listening right now, go ahead and leave your answer in the comments.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_02: We'll we'll see what you come up with.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_02: Uh meanwhile, Reese, guests first.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_03: Machine broken, let's do this.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_03: I want to hear.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_03: Part of me wants uh I've been uh reading and studying a lot of uh the work of Alan Watts.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_03: Um and part of me wants to kind of just say what he said, and you're the biggest lie you've ever been told is your name, and it goes from there kind of thing.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_03: But uh I don't know.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_03: I I would say the American dream.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_04: It's a pretty good one.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_04: Pretty good one.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_03: You nailed it.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_03: Like I according to statistics, should be like ahead, but I am far below, and that's not the case for anything.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_03: You know?
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_02: It's hard to claim that definitely no, and I mean uh just uh the American dream, I feel it did come true for a lot of people, just that was uh decades ago.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_03: And they may It so others can't experience the same dream.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, they close the door behind them.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_04: That's the thing, is instead of lifting people up and providing opportunity for the next generation.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_04: The last generations have certainly closed the door and said, no, no, no, no.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_04: This is ours.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_04: You stay out of here.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_03: You need to get those good jobs that we won't quit.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_04: That's why that's why I moved into software engineering.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_04: It was a really it was it turned out to be a really good move.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_03: That is boomer proof.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_04: That is.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, definitely.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, there's plenty of boomers out there who do program.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_04: It's a lot of low-level stuff or or older languages and maintain those, but they're but oh my gosh, there's someone who learned programming in part from me who's 57 years old.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_04: That's awesome.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_04: And yeah, it's pretty cool.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_04: I was pretty excited.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_04: Uh I've talked a lot with Sandy.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_04: Sandy, if you're listening, deuces.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_04: That's machine broken.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_02: Alright, so we got the American dream.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, James, what about you?
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_02: What's the biggest lie you've ever been tricked into believing?
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_04: So the the biggest lie I've ever been tricked into believing.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_04: There's probably better ones, but but I got no notes on.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, I got there's probably better ones I could say, but Reese's was really good.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_04: No notes on Reese's.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_04: Um the biggest lie that I remember being tricked into.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_04: Alright, get ready for this shit.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_04: This had a huge impression on me.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_04: Uh, when I was in first grade, uh, a child that I didn't know came to me and told me that they that they had a toy that that they left in their classroom in their teacher's desk.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_04: And I was like totally trusting and gullible, and I was like, sure, can you go get it for me?
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_04: I was like, sure, that's great.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_04: So just the way you're telling this, I d I don't know what's gonna happen.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_02: It's gonna be any like you're about to like be snatched by some pervert on the parking lot.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_03: I so hey, take us there, Shyamalan.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_04: Let's do this.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_04: So I it was like during it was like during recess, and so I went into the school, I went into the teacher's room and like took the toy that had that now obviously was clearly confiscated um out of her desk and brought it back to the child.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_04: Because I was like, sure, you know, whatever.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_04: Someone else was the toy.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_04: So I I don't it was like some kind of like Voltron or something.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_04: It was like some kind of Voltron, some kind of like action figure.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_04: Um, and then I got I I was threatened with suspension as a first grader because of that.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_04: My mom had to come to the school.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_04: Uh, they made this whole big fucking deal about it, and I was like, I'm telling you what they told me, I don't know.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_04: And it really taught me a lot about how not not necessarily untrustworthy people are, because because uh someone's eventually I mean, even even after that, I was pretty trusting.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_04: But what the response to making a mistake was like from anybody that's kind of like the the idea I got from society was like this is how society responds when a mistake or miscommunication is made.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_04: They go like way fucking over.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_04: They wanted you to hang you by your thumb somewhere.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it was it was really crazy for that kind of response for like a seven or eight-year-old child.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_03: No, I I it was pretty crazy.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_03: I had I I had similar experiences to when I was young.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_03: The the small thing gets leapt on by a mob.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_02: And that's uh well, because they're so fucking bored and disenfranchised, and they're like, Oh, sweet, I get to forget my own life for five seconds and just make this first grader's life hell.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_04: Um I think I think people just don't have much uh I don't think they're just very thoughtful about other people's perspectives and what and what voicing an expectation means to someone in any given position, especially especially a young child.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, for sure.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_02: Um yeah, no, I uh you having issues down there?
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I'm having issues.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_02: All right, we're good.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_02: All right.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_02: No, well, I I just had a quick I had a similar thing.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_02: I at one point in gym, I couldn't have been much older than you were.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_02: Um my uh my thing like that was we we were getting ready to go to PT or gym or whatever, and uh we're getting ready to run, and we'll keep running by this payphone and not thinking or anything like that, not realizing that payphones, whether they're on or not, if you just tap 911 into them, it'll call the police because they think it's an emergency.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_02: This is back, you know, when you could dial 1-800 ATT.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and the carrot top was giving you free phone calls.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_02: And I didn't think anything of it.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_02: It was just the number and it was quick, and I'm running by.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_02: All of a sudden, there's this like thing in the lunchroom, and they're like, we're going to have them dust that phone for prints.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_02: And me, a kid, I'm like, oh my god, the cops are gonna get me.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_02: I dialed 911, they're gonna have a nightstick up my ass any second now.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_02: Not realizing I was an adult, but like, really, you're gonna bring in a forensics team to figure this shit out, they're gonna fingerprint every child.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, you're gonna fingerprint every child in here.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_04: I'd like, yeah, there's some conservative like uh sovereign citizens out there be like, you're not gonna fucking fingerprint my child.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_02: You'd be protected by you'd be protected by them.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, I'm like, really?
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_02: You guys are gonna have to bring in CSI to figure out this caper.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, you're gonna crack this walnut, figure out what the fuck went down.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and you know, but then at the time, me as this you know, first grade me or whatever it was, uh, you know, I I approached them and said, It was me, I think.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_02: Oops.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, whoopsies.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I mean, back then, you know, you're just this innocent little kid.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_02: No face, no case.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_02: Flip them off and walk away.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_02: That's what I should have done.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_02: Um if I could turn back time.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, if I could turn back time.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_02: You know, Cherry looking at me now.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_02: Just um, but yeah, but anyway, but for me though, personally, the biggest lie I feel that I ever bought onto and believed.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I mean, yeah, American Dream, forensics team's gonna check on every little fucking thing.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_02: Like, let's waste tons of tax dollars on that.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_02: What first grader hit 911 on the payphone?
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_03: Um next week.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_03: We have 19 bodies piling up.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_03: I don't give a crap about the hookers dead.
• 28:56
  unknown: Yeah.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_04: Um a first grader was tased today, rightfully, after after making a fake phone call the nine months.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_03: After wasting tax dollars on a false on a false call.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so I I think for me it's a toss-up between Santa Claus and um Santa Claus is a big one.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_02: The the concept that you can be whatever you want to be.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_02: But I feel that being whatever American dream.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I feel it kind of falls in line with the American dream.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_02: But but I I I refer to it more in terms of like, hey, if you want to be a rock star, you go ahead and be it.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_02: But the parent will tell that to their child in a complete disregard for God-given talent.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_02: Uh like, look, man, you can you get the cards you were dealt.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, you know, me and your mom are kind of a grab bag of bullshit here.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_02: Uh she was drinking heavily whilst you're in the womb.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you're gonna uh I gotta I I know a guy at the mill though.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_02: Um so there's that.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_03: He could get you he could get you a good gig.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_03: Um yeah.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, I'm so glad I'm not in the fucking steel mills right now.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_02: And it was close.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_02: It was close for I think everyone living in the Midwest like we were.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_02: Um I mean, not to disparage people who enjoy working 70 hours a week at that place.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_04: But I I um so so the people the people who do labor work aren't a problem and they're not to be looked down on.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_04: No.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_04: It's it what we're pissed about is that you break your bodies for your employers, and we wish you didn't have to do it.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_03: And they don't care about you.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, they don't care, and that's what we hate.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_04: We love all laborers, we don't look down on a single one of them.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_04: No, not really it's really it's just most of you know that you hate your jobs, and that's not your fault.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_02: And it shouldn't be, and and like if you do, there should be compensation that equals that.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_02: But but so I'm gonna go, I'm gonna say that the biggest lie, because just the grand scope of it, was that for a period of my life there, my parents convinced me that this fat bastard would squeeze his ass down a chimney we didn't have.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and what it would leave me gifts for you know we we we did have in one place we lived at, we did have this little like a wood burning kind of stove deal.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_03: So the chimney would have been about yay big.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he's got magic.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_02: We know he's got magic.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_02: And anytime he's just not looking, he's got magic.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_03: It's going, it's all yeah, yeah, just just just magic.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_03: Instead of taking why would parents want Santa to get credit for the money spent?
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_03: I I truly don't understand that.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_04: You you you know what the you know what the real lesson I think you learned is?
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_04: I think the lesson that you learned was that people will sustain a prolonged lie to you and exploit your ignorance of understanding.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_04: That's essentially what the Santa Claus is.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_04: Is they exploit your your ignorance to tell you a long-term lie.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_03: So Christopher Columbus, basically.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_03: They teach that in schools, but immediately disprove it the next year.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, and and I think that that's the that's like the first fucking thing I think a lot of us in this Western culture fill our heads with.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_02: And like that's like it's like a primer.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_04: Hey, you too, machine broken.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_04: Thanks for coming through.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but yeah, it's like a primer.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_02: Um, for sure.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_02: For like, you know, what the hell else is gonna happen?
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_04: This is you know what, it's like an extension of your world building, Ryan, for this podcast, except you're convey, except it's being conveyed to us as truth.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_04: They've built a little world that that protects their what they their ideals.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_04: It's like the kind of it's the world that they want to portray, and then they shove that in our face like it's truth instead of in your case of this, we're like, that's not real.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_04: Nobody thinks that uh shares here.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_02: Uh yeah, well, well, I mean, well, Reese, do you have a final point?
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_03: On a uh on a kind of similar topic, a group of my uh com comedy friends and I were starting a we're gonna be working on a comic book called World Power.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_03: And it's uh the p the setting is a villain known as the atomic punk in like 2005 blows up the rest of the world except the United States of America.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_03: We kept ourselves safe in a bubble.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_03: USA So the rest of the world is a is a ghost town.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_03: There's nothing left but America's all that remains of the human race.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_03: And Florida like falls to crap immediately.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_03: So the whole thing is kind of following upon that.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_03: Like, is anything does anything really matter?
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_03: Is you know, uh are these lies worth it on in the end?
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_03: Is there even a world out there worth saving kind of thing?
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_03: So I've been thinking about these kind of topics quite a bit, and I'm excited I'm I'm happy we get to discuss them.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_02: Cool.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_02: Well, that being said, it's time to move into our next topic.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_04: That's really cool.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_04: That's a really cool thing.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_04: I'll have to check it out.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_04: Let me know when it's out.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_04: You'll have to come back and tell us tell us all about its release.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_02: Definitely.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, and there's it's I mean, right.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_02: We just do so much shit just because our parents did so much shit and they did so much shit because their parents did so much shit.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_04: And this is the golden path, man.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, there's Moneyb!
• 34:20
  unknown: Monib!
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_04: This is these are dune references, by the way.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_04: I'm sorry.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_04: I'm so sorry, Reese.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_02: We're on the golden path.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_02: I thought you shouted Monique.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_02: That too.
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_02: Um but the whole concept of a timeless sandworm that we always toast in the beginning.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, timeless sandworm, it's a uh a Herbert novel, Dune, and the whole concept is that all fathers are just timeless sandworms roaming around trying to pass on their bullshit before they kill themselves.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_02: And we're over here going, I don't want your bullshit.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_02: You obviously want to kill yourself.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_02: You're you're trying to tell me because you're killing yourself.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_04: You want me to take over.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_04: I don't want to kill myself.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_03: I think I need to read Dune, because that like is like four of the characters we've made so far.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_02: And well, yeah, no, you really should.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_02: If if you're ever working on any sort of uh you know fictional piece that's tackling that whole passing on your bullshit, um or even just uh or even just hey, watch out for charismatic leaders because they'll they'll fuck up some shit for a long time.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_04: It's super dry.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_04: I recommend the uh Dune pod the Dunecast from last podcast on Last Podcast Network.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_04: I loved it.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_04: I thought it was great.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_04: It made it the content much more absorbable.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_02: I will check that out.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, well, so that being said, um, welcome to this Dunecast, and it's time to move to our second portion of the episode.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_02: Now, our second portion of the episode on Hindry Podcast is a fist fight between your favorite nerd shit.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_02: This week we have two guys.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_02: Um, well, one's a Titan of the Spy Craft, one's a Titan of the uh Halloween craft, and we have James Bond versus Michael Myers of Halloween.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_02: Both of them have new films coming out this month, and we're gonna put them, we're gonna stack them up, we're gonna see who falls.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_04: We're going to exploit that release schedule for some uh for some passive marketing.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_03: I legitimately forgot who was fighting who.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_02: Well, welcome back to the show.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_02: We got Michael Myers of Halloween versus James Bond of James Bond.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_02: Of all the bonds.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_02: Of all of the bonds.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_02: Of the London Bonds.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_02: Of the London Bonds.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_02: And they're gonna be fighting in a three-round method.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_02: The Die and Dry Podcast is patented to guarantee our viewers' results.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_02: How this works is round one, the characters step into a legally distinct fight club Gen X bar where they punch each other to death.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_02: Applebee's yeah.
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_02: It's an Applebee's basement.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_04: The basement's totally different than the upstairs.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_04: People don't see it.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_04: R is where people punch each other.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_04: R.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_04: Tyler Durkman's portrayed by Val Kilmer.
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_03: Mid-fist fight, you hear happy, happy birthday.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_02: And they punch each other to death.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_02: No shirt, no shoes, no anything that's outside of themselves.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_02: They just get them and they punch each other to death.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_02: Round two zooms out into a city view where these characters now have access to everything that makes them unique, or they could just go buy a shotgun.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_02: And then round three is the same thing as round two, except this time they can phone a friend.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_02: So transferring into round one, we're reminded at the door that before we get to go into this legally distinct fight club bar at Applebee's, we first got to get a little more drunk and we gotta get a little more high.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_02: So pull them out.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_02: It's contractual.
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_04: This is not for fun.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_04: We're not having any fun.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_04: No, I uh this is pulling them out.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_04: This was a visual joke.
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_04: If you if you want the visual part, go check out our start switch stream.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_02: Go check out our I'm looking here.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_02: Uh I'm trying to just uh you know what?
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_02: Um so I was about to uh bring down some more of that Espalon tequila Blanco, which previously I had literally mixed within the same shot.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_02: Jack Daniels all number seven.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_02: You're treating yourself.
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_02: Treat yourself.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna treat myself to Pink Whitney's New Amsterdam lemonade-flavored vodka.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_02: We're mixing liquors over here, baby.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_02: Cheers.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_02: So this one goes out to Michael Myers of Halloween and James Bond of James Bond.
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_02: Cheers.
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, it's so much easier to drink.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_04: Timothy Dalton, best James Bond.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_02: Lazenby.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_02: I'm watching I'm looking now.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_02: I'm looking now at the Twitch stream as our followers are dropping off like flies.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_04: Timothy Dalton's amazing.
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, we could do this, we could do a bondcast because honestly, I'm gonna argue for Daniel Craig.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_02: Daniel Craig, yeah, I actually agree.
• 39:20
  SPEAKER_02: Brosnan.
• 39:23
  SPEAKER_04: I love the I love the explosion with the skiing after it and Goldeneye.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_02: Brosnan, I will the I will give it to Brosnan only because his ridiculousness ushered in Austin Bowers.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_03: That's true.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_03: That is true.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_03: I think he was the only one who actually looked like James Bond did in my like reading the books when I was younger.
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_03: Brosnan was the only one who like that's kind of how I pictured him.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, yeah, that makes sense.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, well so so I think that we should probably move off this.
• 39:55
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_04: We could be here all fucking.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, which bond is best.
• 39:59
  SPEAKER_04: I think I think it doesn't matter for our for our for our fights which is best.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_04: We go at that because they're strongest.
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_04: I think we all agree, Lazenby.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_04: So each round, the bond you can you can make an argument for the bond that would be best for that situation.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_02: So first of all, folks at home on the Twitch stream, um, who do you think is the greatest bond?
• 40:22
  SPEAKER_02: Meanwhile.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so we've just entered into round one of the high and dry podcasts fight club.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_02: We have entered the Gen X bar basement of Applebee's.
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_02: Val Kilmer is squ has squeezed himself into Tyler Durden's leather pants and skin suit.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_02: He is wearing Brad Pitt as a shawl.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_02: Legally distinct.
• 40:46
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah, legally distinct, Brad Pitt skin.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_02: And um they are um ushering our fighters in.
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_02: Meanwhile, Cher, Carl Urban, and Pink, ma'am, um have just been driven in into the box offices on a timeless sandworm and followed, of course, by the high-and-dry philosophers.
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_02: We've just taken our seats.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_02: Val Kilmer is explaining the rules.
• 41:10
  SPEAKER_02: It's time to fight.
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_04: Frank Herbert would fucking love this podcast.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_02: All right, let's get going.
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_02: He's like, what is going on?
• 41:16
  SPEAKER_02: It's from the minds of a madman.
• 41:18
  unknown: I love it.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so uh we have Val Kilmer explaining the rules.
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_02: It's time to go.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_02: Michael Myers, naked as a J-Bird, um, is now you know rope a doping into James Bond, naked as a J Bird.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_02: Um neither of these men had to do it, but they did anyway.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_02: They both chose to.
• 41:41
  SPEAKER_02: They both chose to.
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_02: Um, guests first, punch for punch, pound per pound.
• 41:45
  SPEAKER_02: Who do you think is gonna win?
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_03: I okay.
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna give it to Sean Connery Bond.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_03: For that punch.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_03: For that Scotsman's wallet.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_03: Uh-huh.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
• 42:03
  SPEAKER_03: Oh.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_03: That's where you got Judah.
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_03: Enter the haggis, you know.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_03: Um his own judo chop.
• 42:08
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, essentially, this is the Austin Powers judo chop because movies were just that campy back then that you could do that.
• 42:15
  SPEAKER_03: Now, I know the argument for the supernatural, in ungodly strength of Michael Myers versus a Scotsman.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_03: But in Halloween 6, I watched this not 12 hours ago.
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_03: Uh Michael Myers, yes.
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_04: Are you mad at yourself?
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_04: So, no, no, nothing.
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_04: You didn't even know this was happening.
• 42:45
  SPEAKER_03: No, this was Halloween, uh, this is Halloween uh uh the one with Tyra Banks.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_03: I I can't remember.
• 42:51
  SPEAKER_03: I think that's seven.
• 42:53
  SPEAKER_04: We need to uh we need to get we need to get you some professional help.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_03: So, um Buster Rhimes.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_03: Buster Rhimes, who his character knows martial arts, martial arts important through watching the enter the 36 chambers films of the Wu-Tang clan.
• 43:11
  SPEAKER_03: Perfect.
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_03: I see no notes.
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_03: The ever-loving shit out of Michael Myers.
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_04: Does he really?
• 43:18
  SPEAKER_04: He beats the shit out of Mike Myers?
• 43:20
  SPEAKER_04: What happens?
• 43:21
  SPEAKER_03: He kicks him out of a window after p after after uh a telephone line is wrapped around his neck, and he, like, no kidding, does like that kind of stuff.
• 43:31
  SPEAKER_04: Does Mike Myers lose that?
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, I mean, what happens after that?
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_03: So uh he cuts himself down, stabs uh Buster Himes twice, and then um and then Buster Rhimes kicks him into an electrical wire and he fries to death.
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_02: So I I have a question here, and I think this is an important question um to enter into the high and dry rule book.
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_02: So um Jamie Lee Curtis, the original heroine of Halloween, you know, one of the first last women, um she wasn't in that, obviously.
• 44:07
  SPEAKER_02: She wouldn't touch that.
• 44:09
  SPEAKER_02: She was.
• 44:09
  SPEAKER_02: Oh dear God.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_04: She was it was it was Jason X, right?
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_04: I think that's Halloween.
• 44:15
  SPEAKER_04: H2O.
• 44:16
  SPEAKER_04: H2O.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_03: After four and five, they just said, okay, you guys lost all continuity.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_03: Change directors said this was starting from two.
• 44:23
  SPEAKER_03: H20.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_02: So that's my question then.
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_02: So Jamie Lee Curtis signed back on, and they're like, we're going with the first story.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_02: We're doing a reboot to that.
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_02: This is now number two.
• 44:37
  SPEAKER_02: That other shit didn't happen.
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_02: When in the course of these worlds, there is a soft reboot, a hard reboot, whatever it is, does that shit count in high and dry?
• 44:48
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_03: That's your argument.
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_03: I say yes because it happened at that reboot because we're using all of continuity of James Bond.
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_03: We gotta use all continuity of Mike Myers.
• 44:58
  SPEAKER_03: Because there was in Her Majesty's Secret Service, and there was Halloween 6, where he has an incest baby.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_04: Reboots and shit are stupid, in my opinion.
• 45:07
  SPEAKER_04: It's all the same thing.
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_04: Everyone experienced it.
• 45:11
  SPEAKER_04: You can't take away the experience.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_04: So it's it's the cultural story of that character.
• 45:16
  SPEAKER_04: That's true.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_03: Alright.
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_03: Alright.
• 45:19
  SPEAKER_03: So if Monster Rhymes can do it, I think Connery could.
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_04: There's no electrical line, so I think Mike Myers gets back up.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_04: And and also Mike Mike Myers doesn't tire.
• 45:31
  SPEAKER_04: He just keeps coming.
• 45:33
  SPEAKER_04: A person who just um uh Sean Connery definitely fucks himself into a stupor a few times.
• 45:40
  SPEAKER_04: So he gets tired.
• 45:41
  SPEAKER_04: We know he gets tired.
• 45:43
  SPEAKER_04: Uh he's he's the classic man of the generation who fucks and falls asleep.
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_04: True.
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_04: All right.
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_04: All Mike Myers has to do is get Sean Connery to fuck him.
• 45:54
  SPEAKER_04: And then Sean Connery's out, and Mike Myers finishes the job.
• 45:57
  SPEAKER_03: I think unchanging face as he's trying to seduce.
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_02: Dude, I I get some heavy, heavy MAGA vibes from Mike Myers.
• 46:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 46:09
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and I don't think that Mike Myers would ever be willing to have any sort of homosexual intercourse.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_04: Um I think he's an asexual being.
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_04: He might, but remember, you gotta remember the MAGA crowd.
• 46:21
  SPEAKER_04: They don't actually have any beliefs.
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_04: Um they don't actually have any beliefs, it's just whatever they're against whatever other people like.
• 46:28
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_04: And he doesn't have a TV.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, and I think Sean Connery's pretty against gay sex, so he loves it, and so he's gonna introduce.
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_02: Not true.
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_02: All right, so alright, finally.
• 46:38
  SPEAKER_02: All right, so we we gotta we have a Halloween expert on the line.
• 46:41
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna come at you with a lot of Bond expertise.
• 46:44
  SPEAKER_02: Nope.
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_02: Um too far in the weeds.
• 46:47
  SPEAKER_02: No, no, because so at one point Daniel Craig is in the chair, he's tied up, and he's looking at Javier Bodham.
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_02: Connery, though.
• 46:53
  SPEAKER_02: Um I'm talking about Bond.
• 46:55
  SPEAKER_02: I'm talking about Bond.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_03: Um continuity.
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_03: Got it.
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, if we're gonna have Buster Rhimes kick kick fucking Halloween in the chest, um Yeah, sure.
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_02: Um at one point, um, Javier Bodum is kind of like flirting with Bond a little bit, and he's like he he says specifically, you know, there's a first time for everything, and then Bond says, What are you talking about first?
• 47:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, like implying very explicitly that Bond's fucked a dude.
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, so Bond's into it, but he wouldn't, he wouldn't, he's not up front about that.
• 47:27
  SPEAKER_03: And so Mike Myers would just be backing up into him, like perfect.
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I think, however, I think what's gonna happen here is that um um because he's only playing in what he's allowed personally.
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_02: I I just think we have here the original judo chop that is at the Bond's totality of experience, and I think that he's gonna get just fucking lazy haymakered, and it's gonna be the one thing that Jamie Lee Curtis has been searching for.
• 48:01
  SPEAKER_02: Alright, and he's gonna go down.
• 48:03
  SPEAKER_02: Well, well, Reese, final thought.
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_02: I need final thoughts and a vote.
• 48:05
  SPEAKER_02: Reese.
• 48:06
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, final thoughts is again Busta Rhimes did it.
• 48:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 48:11
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_03: Bond could.
• 48:13
  SPEAKER_03: So Bond, I think Bond takes first round, but the shade would bring it back for round two.
• 48:21
  SPEAKER_04: Alright.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_04: So Mike Myers, I think his his cultural um our our cultural idea of him has also gotten a little goofy.
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_04: And so I think uh the goofiness of early James Bond uh brings out the goofiness in Mike Myers, and he's gonna be able to do it.
• 48:37
  SPEAKER_04: He only went to space once.
• 48:40
  SPEAKER_04: Right?
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, and and that's why I'm gonna give it to Bond as well, for that same reason, because um H the final Halloween hasn't come out yet.
• 48:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_02: Daniel Craig, however, I think uh like you give it to Connery because he was the first and because he created the character in sort of a cultural sense.
• 48:59
  SPEAKER_02: But Daniel's a dumb overpowered move, though.
• 49:01
  SPEAKER_02: But Daniel Craig, however, I feel just rewrote the thing, made him he wasn't a joke anymore with Craig.
• 49:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 49:10
  SPEAKER_02: He fixed all the problems with Connery and then sliced out all the nonsense that came between.
• 49:19
  SPEAKER_03: I see your point.
• 49:20
  SPEAKER_03: I am myself am not a Daniel Craig fan as Bond.
• 49:24
  SPEAKER_02: That's watch Skyfall again.
• 49:26
  SPEAKER_04: Don't tell him what to do.
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_04: He just he cannot like something.
• 49:31
  SPEAKER_04: That's okay.
• 49:34
  SPEAKER_04: My opinion's wrong.
• 49:35
  SPEAKER_04: Go on.
• 49:37
  SPEAKER_02: Uh I'm sorry, you're wrong.
• 49:40
  unknown: All right.
• 49:41
  SPEAKER_02: Moving into round two, with Bond having taken round one, um, we now enter into a city view where these characters receive a manila envelope underneath their apartment doors.
• 49:51
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and they now know that they have 24 hours to slay the other.
• 49:57
  SPEAKER_02: So M gets on the horn with Bond, says, Hey, there's a nut job we're having problems killing.
• 50:03
  SPEAKER_02: See what you can do about it.
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_02: And the hall and fucking the I guess a fever dream comes to How does Mike Myers choose this?
• 50:13
  SPEAKER_02: Is it so?
• 50:14
  SPEAKER_02: He's just obsessed with his sister, it seems fine.
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_03: Following Jamie Lee Curtis for the most part, and then there's this whole thing.
• 50:19
  SPEAKER_03: Jamie Lee Curtis is super into Bond.
• 50:22
  SPEAKER_03: So there is uh in Halloween four, there's this little girl who touches his hand and when after he dies, and she becomes Mike Myers in a way, but then she's telepathically linked, and then there's a cat in the barn for some reason.
• 50:37
  SPEAKER_04: Hey, I mean, everyone's uh so everyone who touches Mike Myers' dead body becomes Mike Myers?
• 50:44
  SPEAKER_04: No, no, just the first person.
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_04: So the first first little girls.
• 50:48
  SPEAKER_04: The first person gets possessed by the soul of Mike Myers.
• 50:51
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 50:51
  SPEAKER_04: Maybe.
• 50:52
  SPEAKER_03: Who knows?
• 50:53
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, whatever.
• 50:54
  SPEAKER_03: That's fine.
• 50:55
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, no, they they can think about it before they filmed it.
• 50:58
  SPEAKER_04: I'll take it.
• 50:59
  SPEAKER_04: Alright.
• 51:00
  SPEAKER_04: So so this is normal for both of these people.
• 51:04
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 51:04
  SPEAKER_04: Um, this is an average day in the life of both James Bond and Mike Myers.
• 51:09
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, pretty routine for them.
• 51:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 51:12
  SPEAKER_02: Um, well, guess first.
• 51:13
  SPEAKER_02: Reese, what goes down?
• 51:14
  SPEAKER_03: Uh Bond uh gets in his car after, I don't know, doing whatever for most of the day.
• 51:21
  SPEAKER_03: And then um fucking fires a missile at drinking.
• 51:25
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, uh, and then much like it normally happens, he dies.
• 51:30
  SPEAKER_04: Uh Pierce Browser drives the tank into town.
• 51:34
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 51:35
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, why not?
• 51:37
  SPEAKER_03: Well, James.
• 51:37
  SPEAKER_03: He pulls the Ashton around and then opens hell.
• 51:42
  SPEAKER_03: Uh why would he get out of the car?
• 51:48
  SPEAKER_03: So so here's the fear that I think Mike Oh, also, uh something you guys need to consider.
• 51:53
  SPEAKER_03: Mike Myers does have a studebaker.
• 51:56
  SPEAKER_03: So he has that in his arsenal.
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_04: Perfect.
• 52:00
  SPEAKER_04: Got it.
• 52:02
  SPEAKER_04: So so here's the thing about Mike Myers.
• 52:06
  SPEAKER_03: That wasn't a good one, though.
• 52:08
  SPEAKER_03: That wasn't a good one.
• 52:09
  SPEAKER_03: Mike drove in a good one.
• 52:10
  SPEAKER_03: Cross country.
• 52:12
  SPEAKER_02: Oh boy.
• 52:13
  SPEAKER_02: Um I didn't realize what had been happening to that series.
• 52:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I had no idea.
• 52:19
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_04: That sounds like a that sounds like a Halloween parody.
• 52:24
  SPEAKER_04: That sounds like a Halloween parody almost.
• 52:28
  SPEAKER_03: Road trip to Jamie Lee Curtis's house.
• 52:31
  SPEAKER_04: In the Halloween movies, the driver kills the hitchhiker instead of the hitchhiker killing the driver.
• 52:39
  SPEAKER_03: Um yeah, hop on up, kid.
• 52:42
  SPEAKER_03: We are gonna get you where you need to go.
• 52:45
  SPEAKER_04: So so I think I think an important thing to talk about here is is why Mike Myers is scary, right?
• 52:51
  SPEAKER_04: I don't think we have I don't think we've discussed why Mike Myers is scary.
• 52:55
  SPEAKER_04: So the times that Mike Myers is scary is when people feel a sense of one isolation and two unpreparedness.
• 53:01
  SPEAKER_04: And I think that uh James Bond getting a letter that Mike Myers is going to kill him removes the whole reason Mike Myers is scary.
• 53:15
  SPEAKER_04: That's what Mike Myers is scary about, is he shows the picture and you're like, uh, I'm in the place where I thought I was safe, and now there's someone who wants to do me harm.
• 53:23
  SPEAKER_04: So now I am no longer safe.
• 53:26
  SPEAKER_03: I I see what you're saying, but he uses that the the the the shroud or whatever the fuck gives him his power.
• 53:33
  SPEAKER_03: Um whenever you know that he's on your tail, you begin seeing him in places and he's not there.
• 53:41
  SPEAKER_03: So that's the thing that happens?
• 53:42
  SPEAKER_03: He starts to fuck with your mind before he shows up.
• 53:46
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 53:47
  SPEAKER_04: So maybe this is a actually a downfall for James Bond, that he learns that Mike Myers is on his trail early.
• 53:55
  SPEAKER_04: Potentially.
• 53:56
  SPEAKER_04: Potentially, this is a bad time for James Bond.
• 53:59
  SPEAKER_04: He sees him he sees him once in his prep in his preparation, and then he can't shake him.
• 54:05
  SPEAKER_04: Um that's a possibility because there's been times where James Bond has been felt that James Bond has felt, specifically Daniel Craig James Bond, has felt almost he's felt the oppressive force of someone who is chasing him.
• 54:22
  SPEAKER_04: Especially with Javier Bardem.
• 54:24
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 54:24
  SPEAKER_04: He's he felt the oppressive force of someone who is pursuing him.
• 54:29
  SPEAKER_02: Well, for me, I I'm thinking so like the the famous I think the I think the quintessential scene of Mike Myers is you look out the window and he's standing in your backyard and he's just looking into the window with you.
• 54:43
  SPEAKER_02: James Bond produces a Walther and blows his fucking brains out.
• 54:47
  SPEAKER_02: Um I mean he's got a license to kill, he's been drinking.
• 54:51
  SPEAKER_04: Um I but when the window breaks, is Mike Myers still there, is the question.
• 54:57
  SPEAKER_04: Is this a mind looking or is this is that his physical body?
• 55:01
  SPEAKER_03: If you look away from him, then he disappears.
• 55:04
  SPEAKER_03: It's it's like a cat.
• 55:05
  SPEAKER_04: Well, well, James Bond would keep his eye on his target as he pulled his gun.
• 55:10
  SPEAKER_04: That's just good training.
• 55:11
  SPEAKER_03: Um I think you'd see him in the window, bam, and either wouldn't be it would be that's the guy.
• 55:19
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 55:19
  SPEAKER_04: Well, it's he he brought himself here.
• 55:21
  SPEAKER_04: I fucking sweet.
• 55:22
  SPEAKER_02: Well, Reese, uh, final thoughts and a vote.
• 55:25
  SPEAKER_03: Uh I think I think uh either the uh either the the golden gun or a missile from the car.
• 55:31
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but the golden gun, yeah.
• 55:34
  SPEAKER_02: Slaps only.
• 55:36
  SPEAKER_00: Slaps only was first round down.
• 55:38
  SPEAKER_04: Alright, James, thoughts?
• 55:40
  SPEAKER_04: Give him the shoe.
• 55:41
  SPEAKER_04: Um let me think.
• 55:43
  SPEAKER_04: Uh how does Mike Myers overcome um uh Timothy Dalton and his sp crashing a spaceship into him?
• 55:58
  SPEAKER_04: Uh okay.
• 56:02
  SPEAKER_04: Uh yeah, I think that's it.
• 56:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 56:05
  SPEAKER_04: I don't I don't think Mike Myers can overcome it.
• 56:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 56:07
  SPEAKER_02: Alright, yeah, no, and I just realized that we had the golden gun.
• 56:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 56:11
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I mean Mike Myers can yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 56:15
  SPEAKER_04: Sorry, Mike Myers, you kind of whiffed it on this once.
• 56:17
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 56:18
  SPEAKER_04: It seems like you're only dangerous to normal ass people.
• 56:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 56:21
  SPEAKER_02: So as soon as anyone has any level of training or a magical gun from the 90s, you are fucked.
• 56:27
  SPEAKER_02: So there it is.
• 56:28
  SPEAKER_04: For all the Mike Myers fans out there, locks your doors.
• 56:32
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 56:32
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 56:32
  SPEAKER_04: Uh, and then you're fine.
• 56:34
  SPEAKER_03: No, I think it kind of falls to uh the person who would be escorting Michael around in the third episode, in the third fight, would be a very old, damaged police officer who's been hunting him.
• 56:51
  SPEAKER_03: Um, where Bond would get any Bond girl, and then it just turns into get in the car.
• 56:57
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I th I think Michael Myers is gonna bring Jason Voorhees, and meanwhile, fucking Bond is going to bring higher up of the British government.
• 57:09
  SPEAKER_03: Can we nuke this dude from space, please?
• 57:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, sure.
• 57:13
  SPEAKER_02: Um you know it'll be it'll be dramatic.
• 57:16
  SPEAKER_02: There'll be a swelling orchestra.
• 57:19
  SPEAKER_02: Um and if he lights his cigar at home.
• 57:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 57:24
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, or I mean, I I guess, or you'd have Pussy Galore, who is a lighting his cigar.
• 57:31
  SPEAKER_02: Or who's who's just Jamie Lee Curtis with guns.
• 57:35
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and I I I think that Michael Myers here's done.
• 57:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's just done across the board.
• 57:41
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it's too bad.
• 57:43
  SPEAKER_04: Too bad.
• 57:43
  SPEAKER_04: Sorry, Mike, get the fuck out of here.
• 57:45
  SPEAKER_04: Too bad you weren't facing a frat or like a house, a babysitter, yeah, babysitter, a woman alone.
• 57:53
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 57:54
  SPEAKER_02: Um, yeah, I don't know.
• 57:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 57:56
  SPEAKER_02: Sorry.
• 57:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, Jamie Lee Curtis in her 60s and 70s.
• 58:00
  SPEAKER_02: Um, sorry that that couldn't work out for you.
• 58:03
  SPEAKER_02: So there you have it, folks.
• 58:04
  SPEAKER_02: James Bond beats Mike Myers soundly.
• 58:07
  SPEAKER_02: Each round.
• 58:08
  SPEAKER_02: Soundly.
• 58:10
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, congratulations, Mr.
• 58:12
  SPEAKER_02: Bond.
• 58:13
  SPEAKER_02: So there you have it, folks.
• 58:15
  SPEAKER_02: Hope it didn't piss anyone off.
• 58:17
  SPEAKER_04: Uh, if it did, I don't know.
• 58:18
  SPEAKER_04: You gotta re-in you gotta investigate what it is you like about about Mike Myers.
• 58:23
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 58:23
  SPEAKER_04: Because if you like that he's like kind of goofy, sure, but he's also not like super powerful.
• 58:27
  SPEAKER_04: If you were like Mike Myers is super powerful, though, love how strong he is, then I don't know what you were talking about.
• 58:32
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I think they're figuring that out, and that's why they're trying this new movie.
• 58:35
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, Buster Rives.
• 58:36
  SPEAKER_02: Buster Rides.
• 58:38
  SPEAKER_02: Sorry.
• 58:38
  SPEAKER_02: Um, all right, well, there you have it, folks.
• 58:40
  SPEAKER_02: Um, that's High and Dry Podcast.
• 58:42
  SPEAKER_02: Reese, thank you so much for joining us.
• 58:44
  SPEAKER_02: Where can we find you?
• 58:45
  SPEAKER_03: As always.
• 58:46
  SPEAKER_03: Um, well, you could find me uh all over Chicago.
• 58:49
  SPEAKER_03: Um October 16th, you could find me in uh Glen Oaks in uh October 25th, you could find me at the legendary uh Riddles Comedy Club in Chicago, Illinois.
• 59:00
  SPEAKER_03: Um October 29th at the Market Lounge, I'm gonna be doing a headline, uh a double feature headline.
• 59:08
  SPEAKER_03: We've got a great setup for that one.
• 59:10
  SPEAKER_03: Um and every uh there's gonna be a costume contest and everything.
• 59:14
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah.
• 59:16
  SPEAKER_02: That's excellent, man.
• 59:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I know.
• 59:18
  SPEAKER_02: That is awesome.
• 59:19
  SPEAKER_02: And we're also gonna have you out here in November with uh TalkFar Gaming Luke Thede.
• 59:24
  SPEAKER_02: We're gonna do a big old stream for that, so it's gonna be a good time.
• 59:27
  SPEAKER_03: I am very excited for uh for Vegas.
• 59:31
  SPEAKER_03: So uh James, what about us?
• 59:34
  SPEAKER_04: Uh you can find our link tree wherever you're listening to this.
• 59:38
  SPEAKER_04: Have a good one, everybody.
• 59:40
  SPEAKER_04: This has been NPR, apparently.
• 59:43
  SPEAKER_04: Come come check our out our Patreon.
• 59:45
  SPEAKER_04: It's in our link tree.
• 59:47
  SPEAKER_04: You can check out our Twitch.
• 59:48
  SPEAKER_04: It's also in our link tree.
• 59:51
  SPEAKER_04: Bye.
• 59:52
  SPEAKER_04: Bye, Toodles.