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The Diary of Murasaki Shikibu Part 2 · Diaries of Court Ladies of Old Japan

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Section five of Diaries of Court Ladies of Old Japan. This is a LibriVox
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recording. All Libriva's recordings are in the public domain. For more information or
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to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org. Diaries of Court Ladies of Old
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Japan by Sarashina Mourasaki Shikibu Adal translated by Annie shape Omori and Kotchi Dooi.
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The Diary of Murasaki Shikibu Part two. In the evening, the moonlight was
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very beautiful. The second official of teugast You, young Prince came, perhaps
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thinking that his hanks might be offered by a court lady. The bridge opposite
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the door was wet with vapor from the bath. No one answered, so
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he went to the room of Lady mia No Naishi, which is next the
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bridge of the eastern building. Lady Saisho was in the inner room. The
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man holding back then law door asked again is some one within? But she
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did not come out. Just then the Queen's first officer appeared and called is
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someone there? She felt it impossible not to reply, so made a faint
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answer. The new official was in a gay humor and said, reproachfully,
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you did not answer me, but you especially favored the head officer. It
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is natural enough, but not kind. Is there so much difference between the
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nobles in this place? It is too much? He hung the au ghost
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happiness of to day. As the night advanced, the moon became brighter.
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It would be better to take away the obstruction from before the door, said
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he persuasively. I thought it awkward that a noble of the court should stand
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there below me like that. But I did not open the door. If
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I were younger, I thought my inexperience would be my excuse were I to
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talk with him or open the door. But one cannot talk thoughtlessly when one
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is young no longer. So I did not open the door, but held
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it with my hand. The first day of the frost month was the fiftieth
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day after the birth. The persons who were to present themselves came in full
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dress. The side before her presence was like a picture of a boet's assembly.
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Many kitcho were arranged along the east side of the Queen's days, from
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the inner room to the verandah. The royal dining table was placed towards the
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south front of the house. At the west side was prepared the Queen dowagers
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dinner. It was placed on a tray of hollow wood. I don't know
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what kind of a stand it was on, because I did not see it.
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She wore a grip colored kimono trimmed with fivefolds and reds, said Lucigi.
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Though serving the dinner where Lady Seishe and Lady Sanuki, the maids of
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honor, dressed their hair with Sayishian bands. Lady Dinahgone served the ghost Prince's
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dinner at tea side a little dining table played stand for chopsticks, with a
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central decoration representing a bit of seashore, all as small as playthings through dolls.
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At the tand where de Suderer was a little rolled up, there were
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in waiting such ladies as n No Naishi, Lady Nakatsukasa, Lady Koshosho.
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As I was inside, I could not see in great detail that night Lady
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Several the nurse was permitted to wear a dress of honorable collar. She seemed
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still girlish as she took the ghost Prince in her arms and gave him to
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the Lord Prime Minister, who was within the days. He came out quietly,
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and they were playing. Seen in the flickering light of the torches,
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it was very lovely. The Augod's Prince was dressed in red brocade with shaded
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skirt, exquisitely pretty. The machi was given to him by the Lord Prime
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Minister. The seats of the courtiers had been prepared at the west side of
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the east building. There were two ministers present. They came out onto the
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bridge and were very drunken boisterous. As the torches burned low, the Major
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General of the fourth rank was called to light lanterns, boxes and baskets of
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food. The Prime Minister's gifts were borne in by the attendants and piled up
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on the balcony near the railing. Some of the boxes were to be taken
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to the King's kitchen, and as the next day was to be a day
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of abstinence for religious devotion, they were carried away at once. The Queen's
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first officer came to the Missu and asked if the court nobles should be invited
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there. As the answer was yes, every one came, led by the
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Prime Minister and approached the east door. Ladies stood in two or three rows.
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The missu was rolled up by those who were nearested Lady and agone Ladykshosho,
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and others. The Minister of the Right came dancing wildly and made a
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hold in the kitchen behind which ladies were sitting. They laughed, saying he
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had long passed the age. For that he did not notice, but made
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a great many unbecoming jokes, taking away ladies fans. The goose Prince's first
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officer took asake a cup and stepped out. He sang a song. Although
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it was unaccompanied by dancing, it was very delightful. Farther towards the east,
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leaning against a door post, the General of the Right was standing studying
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the ladies leaves and the skirts of their garments showing below the misiaeu. He
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is different from other men. The ladies, thinking that after all the intoxicated
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men were only trying to seem young and irresistible, made light of their behavior
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and said, it is nothing nobody else will behave. So compared with such
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men, the General is far superior. He was afraid of the sakeey caup,
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and when it came to him, passed it by singing the song which
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begins one thousand and ten thousand ages. The first officer of the light bodyguard
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said, I think Lady Murasaki must be somewhere here. I listened, thinking,
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how can she be here in a place where there is no such graceful
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person as Prince Genji. The Minister of the right said, san Mino sou
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ket accept this scarp. When the officer came out from below, the lord
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keeper of the seal, the drunken man wet the King's adviser, leaning in
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a corner, was flirting with Lady Hobu. The Prime Minister did not forbid
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even unmentionable jokes. It was an awful knight of carousals. Or after the
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ceremony, I seemed now to Lady Saisho, and we hid ourselves. But
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there came noisily the Prime Minister's sons and Lieutenant General Seisho. So although we
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too had remained hidden behind the screen, even this was taken away and we
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were captives. Compose a poemy and you shall be excused, said the Lord
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Prime Minister. I was frightened and helpless, and made haste to comply.
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How can I number the years of the Prince when thousand, nay eight thousand,
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may he live em more well? Done, said he, reciting it
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twice, and he answered immediately, oh, would I might live the life
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of a crane, then might I reckon the years of the prince up to
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one thousand. He was much intoxicated, but the poem had feeling, for
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it came from his innermost desire. The child cherished in this way will have
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a very bright future, even such as I can imagine the thousand prosperous years
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of his aghaust highness. He felt satisfied with his own poem, and said,
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has your majesty heard the poem? I have made a poem, and
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then I am worthy to be your father, and you are worthy to be
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my daughter. Mother is smiling. She must think she is happy. She
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may be thinking she has got a good husband, said he, in an
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extreme intoxication. As is usual with drunken persons. All were listening. His
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wife seemed to be embarrassed by this conversation and retired. Mother will be angry
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if I do not follow her, said he, and went through the days
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hurriedly, muttering, excuse me, your majesty, But a child is adored
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because of his father, And everybody laughed the day for the queen's return to
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the palace approaches, and her ladies have not uncle hours because of continual ceremonies.
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Her Majesty had had blank books made, so from early morning I was
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summoned to tend her, to arrange the paper, and to write letters,
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which were sent with the books and the romances to be copied. I also
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spent days in compiling these into books. What fancies this? Why do you
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do such things these chilly days, the Lord prime Minister said, But he
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himself brought out fine papers, brushes and ding, and even riding boxes.
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These were given to the ladies by the Queen's own hand. They were bashful,
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but excuses were in vain, and they went into corners and composed,
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and came back blushing and saying, I have done this, only to be
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given more brushes and ding. I had brought my romances from home and hidden
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them in my own room, But one day the Prime Minister entered it secretly
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to hunt about, and found them and gave them to the first lady in
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waiting. As the books are not at all clearly written, I am ashamed
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to think what their opinion must be. The infant Prince begins to babble and
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crow. His Majesty is naturally impatient to have him. The waterfowl had begun
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to come more and more to the pond before the house. I longed for
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the snow while we were staying there, but just then I had to go
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home to my parents. Two days after retiring from the court, a great
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snow came till familiar tweets of my home reminded me of those melancholy years when
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I used to gaze upon them, musing when the colors of flowers, the
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voices of birds, the skies of spring and autumn, won shadows, frost
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and snow told me nothing but that time was revolving, and that I was
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menaced with a dreary future. Before I went to court, I tried to
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avoid sadness by writing to those who were in the same state of mind,
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even to those with whom I was only slightly acquainted, and associating with them.
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I consoled my heart in various ways. Although an unimportant person, I
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had passed my life without feeling any sort of contempt of myself until I went
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to court. Since then, alas I have experienced all the bitterness of it.
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To day, I took out romances, but they no longer interested me.
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I was ashamed to think what those melancholy persons to whom I used to
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write had thought of me since I went to court, So I had no
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courage to write to them again. Those with whom I am now intimate would
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have to publish my letters broadcast, So how can I write to them my
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inmost heart. Thus my letters have inadvertently grown few. I had a feeling
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that association with some of the younger ladies who used to visit me before I
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went to court could not continue. Some of them I had to refuse when
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they came, and in my home. All these trifles had made me feel
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more deeply Does I have gone in the world not intended for me? I
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write only to those from whom I can never part, to whom my heart
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prompts me to speak, O wordless heart that feels love only for those with
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whom it daily associates. I long for Lady Dina Gonge, with whom I
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spent every night before the Queen when we told each other all our heart's secrets.
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Is it also my worldly heart that longs for a companion other than Buddha?
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Like two white dogs floating with unrestful slumber. Yet even those nights I
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would recall feathers wet and cold, but colder tears. Lady Dinagon returned his
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answer, midnight's sleep was broken, but no friend, and to brush away
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the cold tears, I am vidioshitory, which has ever its mate by its
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side. Her unwriting is very elegant. She is a very true hearted person.
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A lady wrote to me, the Queen has seen the snow, and
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she regrets deeply that you are not here at court. The prime Minister's lady
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wrote to me, when I tried to stop your going away, you said
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you would go at once, that you might come back soon. Was not
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that true? For many days of past she may not have been in earnest.
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Yet as I received such a letter, I went back to the court.
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It was on the seventeenth of the frost month that the Queen went back
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to the palace. The time had been fixed for eight o'clock in the evening,
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but the night was far advanced. I could not see more than thirty
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ladies who tied up their hair. To the east balcony of the Queen's apartment
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came more than ten ladies in waiting from his Majesty's court to escort the Queen.
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Her Majesty Senji went in her Majesty's coach. With her, The Lord
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Prime Minister's wife and Lady send the nurse holding the August infant in her arms,
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went in a coach a dawned with silk fringes. Lady Dainahgone and Lady
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Saisho were in a gold studded coach. In the next one went to Lady
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Koshosho and Lady Mia Naishi. The Lieutenant General of His Majesty's start was in
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the next one. I was to go in that one. His manner expressed
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dissatisfaction with so min a companion, and I was much discomposed. Lady Jiyu,
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then Naishi, Lady Simon, the Prime Minister's first attendant, and Lady
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Shikibu went in their proper order in their palanquins. As it was bright moonlight.
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I was greatly embarrassed and did the palace. I followed the Lieutenant General,
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not knowing where I trod. If someone had been looking at me from
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behind, I must have been ashamed. Indeed, I passed that night in
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the third little room on the corridor of the Koki Dam Lady Gushosho came and
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we talked of the sadness of our lives. We took off our akimonos and
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put on doubly wadded at once and making a fire in a ninsense burner.
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We were complaining of the gold when the Chamberlain and the State Councilor and Lieutenant
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General Kinombu came to inquire for us. I wish I might have been entirely
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forgotten this evening. It annoyed more than it pleased us. Nevertheless, as
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they had come to make inquiries, I said tomorrow I will return the compliment
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and go to inquire after you. To night, I am shivering with gold.
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Saying these words, we secretly stole away from that room. Some were
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now preparing to go back to their homes. We thought them to be some
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of the lower officials. I do not say these as comparing them with myself.
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By the way, Lady gushosh is very noble in character and beautiful,
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but I notice she is thinking sadly of the world. One reason is her
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father's rather humble rank, which makes good fortune delay to come to her this
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morning. Her majesty so indeedail last evening's presents from the Prime Minister. The
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hair ornaments in case were more lovely than words can express. There were a
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pair of soldiers. On one of them were point papers and bound blank books.
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On the other where the poetical collections of the Kokinshu, Kosanshu and ju
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Yissue. Each was bound in five volumes. The copies of these volumes were
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the King's Adviser and Attendant of middle rank and Angkuan. The covers were of
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thin figure silk fastenings of breaded silk of the same material. They were fitted
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into a basket. There were also ancient and modern poetical collections of various families,
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such as those of Yoshinobu and Motusuke. The copies made by Angkuan and
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Chikatzumi were kept for the Queen's private use. They were made in the new
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fashion. On the twentieth day of the last month, the dance of Cosetchi
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was performed. A costume was given to the young lady whom the King's Attendant
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and State councilor offered for the dance. The Lieutenant General asked for a garland
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for his dancer, which was given. At the same time a box of
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perfume ornamented with artificial leaves and plum blossoms, was given her, as the
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arrangements had been made a long time beforehand. This year there was great rivalry
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among the dancers. Torches were lighted in close rows along the outer doors of
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the Eastern Verandah, so there was steep brightness, and it was really awkward
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to walk there. I felt for the girls, but it was not they
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only who were embarrassed. And nobles looked at the girl's face to face,
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almost bringing the lights down in front of them. They tried to draw a
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curtain before the themselves, but in vain and the noble's eyes were still on
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them. My heart throbs even at the memory of it. The helpers of
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Courtier Narito's daughter were dressed in brocaded karagino, which was distinctive and pleasing even
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at night. She was overwhelmed by her dress, and her movements were ungraceful,
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yet the nobles paid her special attention. The King came to see the
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dance. The road Prime Minister too, crept in from the side entrance,
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so we felt constraint. The helpers of Nakakio's daughter were all of the same
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height. They were graceful and charming, and people agreed that they were not
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inferior to any ladies. The State Councilor and Lieutenant General had all his maids
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as helpers of his daughter. One of them was ungraceful, being fat and
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countryfied light, so all were laughing at her. The daughter of daw gave
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a fresh and distinct impression because of her family, she had ten helpers.
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The ladies, who were proud of their good looks, seemed more beautiful in
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this artificial light. On the morning of the day of the Tiger, the
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courtiers assembled. Although it is a common custom to have the dance, the
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younger ones were especially curious to see the dancers. Was it because they had
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a quite rude country manners during these months of absence from the court. There
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the dress died by rubbing the leaves of the indigo plant was not to be
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seen. When night came, the second official of the crown, Prince was
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summoned and perfumes were bestowed upon him who Wantities of it were heaped up in
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a large box. That night, the dance was performed in the city of
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Then the king was present to see it. The Prime Minister's wife sent a
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messenger to the Governor of Owari as to Agots, the young prince was to
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be present. Rice was thrown to keep off evil spirits, and people revived
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them and called them names. It gave us a queer feeling. I was
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weary and wanted to rest a little, so I remained in our chamber,
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thinking to present myself when it should be necessary. Lady Kohoe and Lady Kohiobo
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sat beside the Praizier. We were saying that the hall was crowded and nothing
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could be seen distinctly. When the Lord Prime Minister came in, why do
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you stay here? Come with us? So we went reluctantly. I watched
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the dancers, thinking how tight they must be, and what a heavy task
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they had before them. The daughter of the Governor of Wary became ill and
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retired. Human face is like a dream, it seems. After the dance,
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his Majesty retired. Young noblemen talk of nothing these days but the rooms
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of those dancers, even the borders of the curtains hanging over the soudae,
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were buried according to the taste of the dancer. Their hair, dressing and
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their style also varied extremely so the young men talked about that, and more
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improper things too. Even in ordinary years, the dancing girl's hearts are always
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filled with anxiety, how much more so this year. While I was thinking
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about it, they came out in single file. My heart swelt with sympathy.
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It maybe they had no great patrons to depend on who could protect them,
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as they are all chosen for the beauty. All they are attractive,
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and it would be difficult to say which is superior to the other. Although
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the man of fashion may perhaps perceive differences in this brilliant light, they may
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not even shade their faces with their fans. They are placed in rivalry with
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each other in rank, in prudence and in wit, and must struggle each
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to excel the other, although at the same time they feel shiness in the
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presence of the young men. Surrounded by the young nobles, they are forced
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to hold their own among them worthily. I feel sorry for them. Govern
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Northumba's daughter wore a darkish blue gown. The State councilor Toall's daughter were red.
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The maids of the latter wore the blue ragino of a girl, and
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were so beautiful that the maid as women jealous. One gau did not seem
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at all dignified. The daughter of the state Councilor and Lieutenant General was tall
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and had beautiful hair. Her attendants wore deep colored clothes trimmed with fivefolds,
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and their outer garments were varied according to taste. The last girl wore a
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plain, grape colored one, and that simple dress was more beautiful as it
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showed taste in color combination. The secretaries of the sixth rank went towards them
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to take away their fans. They threw them down themselves. Though they were
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graceful, they did not seem like girls. If we were in their places,
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it would seem like a dream to us. I had never supposed I
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should mingle with these court ladies. Yet the human heart is an invisible and
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dreadful being. If I became accustomed to court life, my bashfulness would be
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overcome, and I could easily stand face to face with men. As if
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in a vision my future appeared to me. And such a state of things
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appeared to me undesirable. My mind was greatly troubled, and they could observe
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nothing. The apartment temporarily given to the dancer, who was the daughter of
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the king's adviser and State Councilor was just across the way on the corridor opposite
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to that of our Queen. A part of the sud ray of that room
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was in sight above the outer shutter, although we could hear voices but faintly.
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The State Councilor and Lieutenant General, who knew about it all, said,
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there are ladies called Sachio and Luma, who once served that queen.
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Over there. It was Sacchio who sat in the eastern part of the whole
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last night as a helper of a certain young lady who danced, said Genshosha,
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who knew her. Some of our Queen's ladies chanced to overhear these remarks.
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How extraordinary, Yet she must remember old times, said they, How
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is it possible that a former lady in waiting should return to the court as
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a maid. She may be thinking it will never be known, but we
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will one day bring it to light. Our ladies may have been scheming for
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these when they chose among the multitude of fans kept by the Queen, those
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representing the island of Forray. Did she feel it? I wonder? Lecopodium
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was made into a wreath and put into a box cover, a com and
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face powder were put in also for the young. Courtiers had said that lady,
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who is rather advanced in years, wears a curved comb suitable for a
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young lady. So the combe which was put into the box was curved too
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much in the vulgar new fashion, with perfume bowels clumsily covered with paper.
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A poem was added to it, written by Lady Sayfu. Among the many
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ladies that night of the dance, the bell was the one who wordily copodium.
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The queen said, if you are going to send at all, sends
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something clever. Here are many funds for it. But some ladies replied,
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that will attract too much attention. It is too unusual. If you send
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this publicly, you will not succeed in puzzling her. Perhaps we would better
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send it anonymously. Therefore a lady who was an entire stranger to her was
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chosen. She went and, speaking loudly, said, here is a letter
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from Lady Chunagon. It is sent by her queen to Lady Sachio. I
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thought it would be awkward if the messenger were caught by them, but she
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ran away as soon as she had put down the things She reported that she
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heard someone saying, whence do you come? There is no doubt she really
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thought it a gift from our queen. Days passed without any interesting events.
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After that evening of dancing, the court became absolutely dull. The preparatory musing
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on the eve of the Yomi ceremony was very fine. The young courtiers were
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still filled with thoughts of the dancers. After the Queen's return to the palace,
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the little sons of another wife of the Prime Minister were permitted to come
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in to play with the ladies in waiting. They came to us without and
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which was a great bother. I did not show myself to them, taking
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advantage of my advanced age. They were not thinking of the dancers, but
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were playing by the side of ladies Yasurai and Kohyoe, joking and chattering like
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little bird. At the occasional festival of the Camel Shrine, the Vice Lieutenant
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General was made the King's substitute. It was a day of fasting also,
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so the Lord Prime Minister had passed the night at the palace. The nobles
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and dancers passed the night of the festival in making a great noise with much
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merriment in the corridors. Next morning, an attendant of the Chamberlain brought something
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to an attendant of the Lord Prime Minister. It was the box cover of
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the previous night. There was in it a silver case for romances, besides
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a mirror, a comb of allow wood, and a silver kogai. The
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km seemed to be given to adorn the heir of the Messenger. At the
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festival. Something was written on the box cover in Reed's style, in raised
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characters. It was the answer to the poem of the Lecopodium. Two characters
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were omitted, and it was difficult to read. She seemed to have misunderstood.
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The Chamberlain thought it really was a gift to her from our Queen,
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so the return was made thus openly. It was but a foolish joke,
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and I felt sorry for her. The Prime Minister's wife came to court to
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see the festival. His son, adorning his head with artificial wisteria, appeared
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quite a man, noble and dignified. The Lady Coura, his nurse,
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not taking any notice of the dancers, wept for joy watching her young lord.
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As it was till the day of fasting day came back from the shrine
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at two in the morning, and the sacred dance was performed leastlessly, as
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the important persons were absent. The dancer Kanetoki, who had been very handsome
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last year, was much fallen off. Though a stranger to him, I
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felt regret being reminded of the fleeting life of ours Aul. End of section
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five read by Claudiacaldi.