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43 - Within a Budding Grove by Marcel Proust · Within a Budding Grove

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Speaker 1: Section forty three of Within a Budding Grove by Marcel Proust,
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Speaker 1: translated by C. K. Scott Moncrief. This LibriVox recording is
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Speaker 1: in the public domain. Recording by Kristin Hand Seascape with
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Speaker 1: frieze of girls, Part ten. Supposing that if I knew
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Speaker 1: their male friends, I should have more opportunities of seeing
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Speaker 1: the girls. I had been on the point of asking
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Speaker 1: for an introduction to Octave. I told Albertine this, and
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Speaker 1: as soon as he had left us still muttering, I
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Speaker 1: couldn't play for nuts. I thought I would thus put
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Speaker 1: into her head the idea of doing it next time.
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Speaker 1: But I can't, she cried, Introduce you to a tame
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Speaker 1: cat like that. This place simply swarms with them. But
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Speaker 1: what on earth would they have to say to you?
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Speaker 1: That one plays golf quite well, and that's all there
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Speaker 1: is to it. I know what I'm talking about. You'd
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Speaker 1: find he wasn't at all your sort. Your friends will
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Speaker 1: be cross with you if you desert them like this,
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Speaker 1: I repeated, hoping that she would then suggest my joining
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Speaker 1: the party. Oh no, they don't want me. We ran
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Speaker 1: into Block, who directed it at me a subtle insinuating
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Speaker 1: smile and embarrassed by the presence of Albertine, whom he
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Speaker 1: did not know, or rather new without knowing her, bends
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Speaker 1: his head with a stiff, almost irritated jerk. What's he
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Speaker 1: called that, ostrogoth? Albertine asked, I can't think why he
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Speaker 1: should bow to me. He doesn't know me, and I
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Speaker 1: didn't bow to him either. I had no time to
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Speaker 1: explain to her for bearing straight down upon us. Excuse me,
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Speaker 1: he began, for interrupting you. But I must tell you
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Speaker 1: that I am going to Doncier tomorrow. I cannot put
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Speaker 1: it off any longer without discourtesy. Indeed, I ask myself
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Speaker 1: what must dissons Loup and Bray think of me. I
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Speaker 1: just came to let you know that I shall take
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Speaker 1: the two o'clock train at your service. But I thought
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Speaker 1: now only of seeing Albertine again, and of trying to
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Speaker 1: get to know her friends and Doncier, since they were
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Speaker 1: not going there, and my going would bring me back
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Speaker 1: too late to see them. Still on the beach seemed
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Speaker 1: to me to be situated at the other end of
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Speaker 1: the world. I told Bloch that it was impossible. Oh
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Speaker 1: very well, I shall go alone. In the fatuous words
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Speaker 1: of master Aurette, I shall say to san Lup to
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Speaker 1: beguile his clericalism. My duty stands alone by his, in
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Speaker 1: no way bound, though he should choose to fail. Yet faithful,
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Speaker 1: I'll be found. I admit he's not a bad looking boy,
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Speaker 1: was Albertine's comment. But he makes me feel quite sick.
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Speaker 1: I had never thought that Bloc might be not a
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Speaker 1: bad looking boy, and yet when one came to think
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Speaker 1: of it, so he was, with his rather prominent brow,
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Speaker 1: very aquiline nose, and his air of extreme cleverness, and
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Speaker 1: of being convinced of his cleverness. He had a pleasing face.
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Speaker 1: But he could not succeed in pleasing Albertine. This was
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Speaker 1: perhaps due to some extent to her own disadvantages. The harshness,
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Speaker 1: the want of feeling of the little band, its rudeness
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Speaker 1: towards everything that was not itself, And later on, when
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Speaker 1: I introduced them, Albertine's antipathy for him grew no less.
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Speaker 1: Bloch belonged to a section of society in which, between
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Speaker 1: the free and easy customs of the smart set and
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Speaker 1: the regard for good manners which a man is supposed
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Speaker 1: to show who does not soil his hands a sort
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Speaker 1: of special compromise has been reached which differs from the
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Speaker 1: manners of the world, and is nevertheless a peculiarly unpleasant
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Speaker 1: form of worldliness. When he was introduced to anyone, he
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Speaker 1: would bow with a skeptical smile, and at the same
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Speaker 1: time with an exaggerated show of respect, and if it
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Speaker 1: was to a man, would say, pleased to meet you, sir,
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Speaker 1: in a voice which ridiculed the words that it was uttering,
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Speaker 1: though with a consciousness of belonging to someone who was
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Speaker 1: no fool. Having sacrificed this first moment to a custom
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Speaker 1: which he at once followed, and to just as on
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Speaker 1: the first of January, he would greet you with a
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Speaker 1: many happy he would adopt an air of infinite cunning,
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Speaker 1: and would proffer subtle words which were often true enough,
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Speaker 1: but got on Albertine's nerves. When I told her on
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Speaker 1: this first day that his name was Bloch, she exclaimed,
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Speaker 1: I would have betted anything that he was a jew boy.
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Speaker 1: Trust them to put their foot in it. Moreover, Bloch
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Speaker 1: was destined to give Albertine other grounds for annoyance. Later on,
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Speaker 1: like many intellectuals, he was incapable of saying a simple
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Speaker 1: thing in a simple way. He would find some precious
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Speaker 1: qualification for every statement, and would sweep from particular to general.
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Speaker 1: It vexed Albertine, who was never too well pleased at
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Speaker 1: other people's showing an interest in what she was doing.
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Speaker 1: That when she had sprained her ankle and was keeping quiet,
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Speaker 1: Bloch said of her, she is outstretched on her chair,
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Speaker 1: but in her ubiquity has not ceased to frequent simultaneously
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Speaker 1: vague golf courses and dubious tennis courts. He was simply
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Speaker 1: being literary, of course, But this in view of the
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Speaker 1: difficulties which Albertine felt that it might create for her
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Speaker 1: with friends whose invitation she had declined on the plea
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Speaker 1: that she was unable to move, was quite enough to
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Speaker 1: disgust her with the face the sound of the voice
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Speaker 1: of the young man who could say such things about her.
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Speaker 1: We parted, Albertine and I after promising to take a
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Speaker 1: walk together. Later. I had talked to her without being
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Speaker 1: any more conscious of where my words were falling, of
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Speaker 1: what became of them, than if I were dropping pebbles
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Speaker 1: into a bottomless pit. That our words are as a
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Speaker 1: general rule filled by the person to whom we addressed
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Speaker 1: them with a meaning which that person derives from her
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Speaker 1: own substance, a meaning widely different from that which we
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Speaker 1: had put into the same words when we uttered themes,
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Speaker 1: a fact which the daily round of life is perpetually demonstrating.
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Speaker 1: But if we find ourselves as well in the company
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Speaker 1: of a person whose education, as Albertine's was to me,
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Speaker 1: is inconceivable her takeet her reading her principles unknown, we
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Speaker 1: cannot tell whether our words have aroused in her anything
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Speaker 1: that resembles their meaning, any more than in an animal,
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Speaker 1: although there are things that even an animal may be
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Speaker 1: made to understand. So that to attempt any closer friendship
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Speaker 1: with Albertine seemed to me like placing myself in contact
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Speaker 1: with the unknown, if not the impossible. An occupation is
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Speaker 1: arduous as breaking a horse, as reposeful as keeping bees
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Speaker 1: or growing roses. I had thought a few hours before
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Speaker 1: that Albertine would acknowledge my bow, but would not speak
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Speaker 1: to me. We had now parted, after planning to make
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Speaker 1: some excursion soon together. I vowed then when I next
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Speaker 1: met Albertine, I would treat her with greater boldness. And
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Speaker 1: I had sketched out in advance a draft of all
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Speaker 1: that I would say to her, and even being now
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Speaker 1: quite convinced that she was not straight laced, of all
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Speaker 1: the favors that I would demand of her. But the
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Speaker 1: mind is subject to external influences, as plants are, and
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Speaker 1: cells and chemicals, elements, and the medium in which its
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Speaker 1: immersion alters. It is a change of circumstances or new surroundings,
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Speaker 1: grown different by the mere fact of her presence. When
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Speaker 1: I found myself once again in Albertine's company, what I
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Speaker 1: said to her was not at all what I had
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Speaker 1: meant to say. Remembering her flushed temple, I asked myself
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Speaker 1: whether she might not appreciate more keenly a polite attention
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Speaker 1: which she knew to be disinterested. Besides, I was embarrassed
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Speaker 1: by certain things in her look, in her smile. They
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Speaker 1: might equally well signify a laxity of morals, and the
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Speaker 1: rather silly merriment of a girl who, though full of spirit,
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Speaker 1: was at heart thoroughly respectable. A single expression on a face,
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Speaker 1: as in a speech, is susceptible of diverse interpretations, and
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Speaker 1: I stood hesitating like a schoolboy faced by the difficulties
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Speaker 1: of a piece of Greek prose. On this occasion we
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Speaker 1: met almost immediately the tall one Andrea, the one who
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Speaker 1: had jumped over the old banker, and Albertine was obliged
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Speaker 1: to enter. Her friend had a pair of eyes of
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Speaker 1: extraordinary brightness, like in a dark house, a glimpse through
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Speaker 1: an open door of a room into which the sun
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Speaker 1: is shining with a greenish reflection from the glittering sea.
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Speaker 1: A party of five were passing, men whom I had
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Speaker 1: come to know very well by sight during my stay
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Speaker 1: at ball Back. I had often wondered who they could be.
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Speaker 1: They're nothing, very wonderful, said Albertine with a sneering laugh.
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Speaker 1: The little old one with dyed hair and yellow gloves
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Speaker 1: as a fine touch. He knows how to draw, all right.
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Speaker 1: He's the ball Back dentist. He's a good sort. The
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Speaker 1: fat one is the mayor, not the tiny little fat one.
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Speaker 1: You must have seen him before. He's the dancing master.
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Speaker 1: He's rather a beast. You know. He can't stand us
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Speaker 1: because we make such a row at the casino. We
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Speaker 1: smash his chairs and want to have the carpet up
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Speaker 1: when we dance. That's why he never gives us prizes,
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Speaker 1: although we're the only girls there who can dance a bit.
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Speaker 1: The dentist is a deer. I would have said, how
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Speaker 1: do he ado to him? Just to make the dancing
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Speaker 1: master swear, But I couldn't because they've got Monsieur de
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Speaker 1: Saint Croix with them. He's on the General Council. He
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Speaker 1: comes of a very good family, but he's joined at
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Speaker 1: the Republicans to make more money. No nice people ever
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Speaker 1: speak to him. Now. He knows my uncle because they're
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Speaker 1: both in the government, but the rest of my family
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Speaker 1: always cut him. The thin one in the waterproof is
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Speaker 1: the band master. You know him, of course you don't. Oh,
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Speaker 1: he plays divinely. You haven't been to Cavalierra Rusticana. I
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Speaker 1: thought it too lovely. He's giving a concert this evening.
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Speaker 1: But we can to go because it's to be in
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Speaker 1: the town hall. In the casino, it wouldn't matter. But
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Speaker 1: in the town hall where they've taken down the crucifix.
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Speaker 1: Andre's mother would have a fit if we went there.
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Speaker 1: You're going to say that my aunt's husband is in
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Speaker 1: the government, But what difference does that make. My aunt
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Speaker 1: is my aunt. That's not why I'm fond of her.
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Speaker 1: The only thing she has ever wanted has been to
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Speaker 1: get rid of me. No, the person who has really
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Speaker 1: been a mother to me in all the more credit
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Speaker 1: to her because she's no relation at all, a friend
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Speaker 1: of mine whom I loved just as much as if
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Speaker 1: she was my mother. I will let you see her photo.
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Speaker 1: We were joined for a moment by the golf champion
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Speaker 1: in Baccarat Plunger Octave. I thought that I had discovered
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Speaker 1: a bond between us, for I learned in the course
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Speaker 1: of conversation that he was some sort of relative, and
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Speaker 1: even more a friend of the Verderends. But he spoke
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Speaker 1: contemptuously of the famous Wednesdays, adding that Monsieur Verderen had
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Speaker 1: never even heard of a dinner jacket, which made it
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Speaker 1: a horrible bore when one ran into him in a
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Speaker 1: music hall where one would very much rather not to
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Speaker 1: be greeted with well you, young rascal by an old
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Speaker 1: fellow in a frock coat and black tie for all
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Speaker 1: the world like a village lawyer. Octave left us, and
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Speaker 1: soon it was Andrea's turn when we came to her villa,
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Speaker 1: into which she vanished without having uttered a single word
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Speaker 1: to me during the whole of our walk. I regretted
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Speaker 1: her departure all the more in that, while I was
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Speaker 1: complaining to Albertine how chilling her friend had been with me.
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Speaker 1: This was comparing in my mind this difficulty which Albertine
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Speaker 1: seemed to find in making me know her friends, with
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Speaker 1: the hostility that Elster, when he might have granted my desire,
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Speaker 1: seemed to have encountered. On that first afternoon, two girls
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Speaker 1: came by, to whom I lifted my hat, the young
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Speaker 1: ambro Sacs, whom Albertine greeted. Also. I felt that in
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Speaker 1: Albertine's eyes, my position would be improved by this meeting.
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Speaker 1: They were the daughters of a kinswoman of Madame de
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Speaker 1: Villa Parisis, who was also a friend of Madame de
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Speaker 1: Luxembourg Monsieur and Madame don Bresac, who had a small
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Speaker 1: villa at ball Back and were immensely rich, led the
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Speaker 1: simplest of lives there, and always went about dressed, he
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Speaker 1: in an unvarying frock coat, she in a dark gown.
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Speaker 1: Both of them used to make sweeping bows to my grandmother,
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Speaker 1: which never led to anything further. The daughters, who were
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Speaker 1: very pretty, were dressed more fashionably, but in a fashion
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Speaker 1: suited rather to Paris than to the sea side. With
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Speaker 1: their long skirts and large hats, they had the look
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Speaker 1: of belonging to a different race from Albertine. She I
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Speaker 1: discovered knew all about them. Oh, so you know the
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Speaker 1: little dombre Sachs, do you dear me? You have some
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Speaker 1: swagger friends. After all, they're very simple souls. She went on,
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Speaker 1: as though this might account for it. They're very nice,
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Speaker 1: but so well brought up that they aren't allowed near
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Speaker 1: the casino for fear of us. We've such a bad tone.
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Speaker 1: They attract you, do they well, it all depends on
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Speaker 1: what you like. They're just little white rabbits. Really, there
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Speaker 1: may be something in that. Of course, if little white
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Speaker 1: rabbits are what appeals to you, they may supply a
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Speaker 1: long felt want. It seems there must be some attraction,
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Speaker 1: because one of them has got engaged already to the
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Speaker 1: Marquis de Saint Luke, which is a cruel blow to
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Speaker 1: the younger one who is madly in love with that
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Speaker 1: young man. I'm sure the way they speak to you,
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Speaker 1: with their lips shut is quite enough for me. And
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Speaker 1: then they dress in the most absurd way. Fancy going
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Speaker 1: to play golf in silk frocks at their age? They
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Speaker 1: dress more showily than grown up women who really know
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Speaker 1: about clothes. Look at Madame Elster. There's a well dessed woman,
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Speaker 1: if you like. I answered that she had struck me
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Speaker 1: as being dressed with the utmost simplicity. Albertine laughed. She
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Speaker 1: does put on the simplest things, I admit, but she
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Speaker 1: dresses wonderfully, and to get what you call simplicity costs
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Speaker 1: her a fortune. Madame Elster's gowns passed unnoticed by anyone
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Speaker 1: who had not a sober and unerring taste in matters
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Speaker 1: of attire. This was lacking in me. Elster possessed it
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Speaker 1: in a supreme degree, or so, Albertine told me. I
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Speaker 1: had not suspected this, nor that the beautiful but quite
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Speaker 1: simple objects which littered his studio were treasures long desired
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Speaker 1: by him, which he had followed from sale room to
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Speaker 1: sale room, knowing all their history, until he had made
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Speaker 1: enough money to be able to acquire them. But as
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Speaker 1: to this, Albertine, being as ignorant as myself, could not
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Speaker 1: enlighten me. Whereas when it came to clothes, prompted by
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Speaker 1: a coquettish instinct, and perhaps by the regretful longing of
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Speaker 1: a penniless girl who was able to appreciate with greater disinterestedness,
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Speaker 1: more delicacy of feeling in other richer people, the things
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Speaker 1: that she will never be able to afford for herself.
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Speaker 1: She expressed herself admirably on the refinement of Elster's taste,
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Speaker 1: so hard to satisfy that all women appear to him
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Speaker 1: badly dressed, while attaching infinite importance to right proportions and
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Speaker 1: shades of color he would order to be made for
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Speaker 1: his wife at fabulous prices, the sun shades, hats and cloaks,
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Speaker 1: which he had learned from Albertine to regard as charming,
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Speaker 1: and which a person wanting in taste would no more
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Speaker 1: have noticed than myself. Apart from this, Albertine, who had
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Speaker 1: done a little painting, though without she confessed having any
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Speaker 1: gift for it, felt a boundless admiration for Elster, and
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Speaker 1: thanks to his precept and example, showed a judgment of
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Speaker 1: pictures which was in marked contrast to her enthusiasm for
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Speaker 1: Cavaliera Rusticana. The truth was, though as yet it was
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Speaker 1: hardly apparent that she was highly intelligent, that in the
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Speaker 1: things that she said, the stupidity was not her own,
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Speaker 1: but that of her environment and age. Elster's had been
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Speaker 1: a good, but only a partial influence. All the branches
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Speaker 1: of her intelligence had not reached the same stage of development.
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Speaker 1: The taste for pictures had almost caught up to the
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Speaker 1: taste for clothes and all forms of smartness, but had
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Speaker 1: not been followed by the taste for music, which was
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Speaker 1: still a long way behind. Albertine might know all about
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Speaker 1: the Ombra sacs, but as he who can achieve great
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Speaker 1: things is not necessarily capable of small, I did not
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Speaker 1: find her after I had bowed to those young ladies
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Speaker 1: any better disposed to make me known to her friends.
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Speaker 1: It's too good of you to attach any importance to them.
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Speaker 1: You shouldn't take any notice of them. They don't count.
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Speaker 1: What on earth can a lot of kids make them
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Speaker 1: mean to a man like you. Now. Andrea, i must say,
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Speaker 1: is remarkably clever. She is a good girl that though
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Speaker 1: she is perfectly fantastic at times, But the others are
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Speaker 1: really dreadfully stupid. When I had left Albertine, I felt
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Speaker 1: suddenly a keen regret that San Loup should have concealed
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Speaker 1: his engagement from me, and that he should be doing
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Speaker 1: anything so improper as to choose a wife before breaking
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Speaker 1: with his mistress. And then shortly afterwards I met Andrea,
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Speaker 1: and as she went on talking to me for some time,
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Speaker 1: I seized the opportunity to tell her I would very
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Speaker 1: much like to see her again next day, But she
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Speaker 1: replied that this was impossible because her mother was not
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Speaker 1: at all well and she would have to stay beside
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Speaker 1: her the next day. But one when I was at Elster's,
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Speaker 1: he told me how greatly Andrea had been attracted by
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Speaker 1: me on my protesting, But it was I who was
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Speaker 1: attracted by her from the start. I asked her to
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Speaker 1: meet me again yesterday, but she could not. Yes, I
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Speaker 1: know she told me all about That was his reply.
16:47
Speaker 1: She was very sorry, but she had promised to go
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Speaker 1: to a picnic somewhere miles from here. They were to
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Speaker 1: drive over in a break and it was too late
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Speaker 1: for her to get out of it. Albeit this falsehood
16:59
Speaker 1: Andrea know me so slightly, was of no real importance.
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Speaker 1: I ought not to have continued to seek the company
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Speaker 1: of a person who was capable of uttering it. For
17:08
Speaker 1: what people have done once, they will do again indefinitely.
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Speaker 1: And if you go every year to see a friend
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Speaker 1: who the first time was not able to meet you
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Speaker 1: at the appointed place, or was in bed with a chill.
17:19
Speaker 1: You will find him in bed with another chill, which
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Speaker 1: he has just caught. You will miss him again at
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Speaker 1: another meeting place at which he has failed to appear
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Speaker 1: for a single and unalterable reason, in place of which
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Speaker 1: he supposes himself to have various reasons drawn from the circumstances.
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Speaker 1: One morning, not long after Andre's telling me that she
17:37
Speaker 1: would be obliged to stay beside her mother, I was
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Speaker 1: taking a short stroll with Albertine, whom I had found
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Speaker 1: on the beach, tossing up and catching again on a cord,
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Speaker 1: an oddly shaped implement which gave her a look of
17:48
Speaker 1: Giotto's idolatry. It was called for that matter diabolo, and
17:53
Speaker 1: has so fallen into disuse now that when they come
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Speaker 1: upon a picture of a girl playing with one, the
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Speaker 1: critics of future generations will solemnly discussed, as it might
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Speaker 1: be over one of the allegorical figures in the arena,
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Speaker 1: what it is that she is holding? A moment later,
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Speaker 1: their friend, with a penurious and harsh appearance, the same
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Speaker 1: one who on that first day had sneered so malevolently.
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Speaker 1: I do feel sorry for him, poor old man. When
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Speaker 1: she saw the old gentleman's head brushed by the flying
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Speaker 1: feet of Andrea, came up to Albertine with good morning,
18:24
Speaker 1: am I disturbing you? She had taken off her hat
18:27
Speaker 1: for comfort, and her hair, like a strange and fascinating plant,
18:31
Speaker 1: lay over her brow, displaying all the delicate tracery of
18:34
Speaker 1: its foliation. Albertine, perhaps because she resented seeing the other bareheaded,
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Speaker 1: made no reply, preserved a frigid silence, in spite of
18:43
Speaker 1: which the girl stayed with us, kept apart from myself
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Speaker 1: by Albertine, who arranged at one moment to be alone
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Speaker 1: with her, at another to walk with me, leaving her
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Speaker 1: to follow. I was obliged to secure an introduction, to
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Speaker 1: ask for it in the girl's hearing. Then, as albert
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Speaker 1: was uttering my name on the face and in the
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Speaker 1: blue eyes of this girl, whose expression I had thought
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Speaker 1: so cruel, when I heard her say, poor old man,
19:07
Speaker 1: I do feel so sorry for him, I saw gatherin
19:10
Speaker 1: to gleam a cordial, friendly smile, and she held out
19:13
Speaker 1: her hand. Her hair was golden, and not her hair
19:16
Speaker 1: only for if her cheeks were pink and her eyes blue.
19:20
Speaker 1: It was like the still rosey eate morning sky, which
19:23
Speaker 1: sparkles everywhere with dazzling points of gold, at once kindled
19:27
Speaker 1: by her flame. I said to myself that this was
19:29
Speaker 1: a child who, when in love, grew shy. That it
19:32
Speaker 1: was for my sake, from love for me, that she
19:34
Speaker 1: had remained with us despite Albertine's rebuffs, and that she
19:38
Speaker 1: must have rejoiced in the opportunity to confess to me
19:40
Speaker 1: at last, by that smiling, friendly gaze, that she would
19:44
Speaker 1: be as kind to me as she was terrible to
19:46
Speaker 1: other people. Doubtless she had noticed me on the bench
19:49
Speaker 1: when I still knew nothing of her, and had been
19:52
Speaker 1: thinking of me ever since. Perhaps it had been to
19:55
Speaker 1: win my admiration that she mocked at the old gentleman,
19:58
Speaker 1: and because she had not succeeded in get to know
20:00
Speaker 1: me on the following days she appeared so morose from
20:04
Speaker 1: the hotel. I had often seen her in the evenings,
20:07
Speaker 1: walking by herself on the beach, probably in hope of
20:10
Speaker 1: meeting me, and now hindered as much by Aubertine's presence
20:14
Speaker 1: as she would have been by that of the whole band.
20:17
Speaker 1: She had evidently attached herself to us, braving the increasing
20:20
Speaker 1: coldness of her friend's attitude, only in the hope of
20:23
Speaker 1: outstaying her, of being left alone with me when she
20:27
Speaker 1: might make an appointment with me for some time, when
20:29
Speaker 1: she would find an excuse to slip away without either
20:31
Speaker 1: her famili's or her friends knowing that she had gone,
20:35
Speaker 1: and would meet me in some safe place before church
20:38
Speaker 1: or after golf. It was all the more difficult to
20:41
Speaker 1: see her because Andrea had quarreled with her and now
20:43
Speaker 1: detested her. I've put up far too long with her
20:47
Speaker 1: terrible dishonesty, she explained to me her baseness. I can't
20:51
Speaker 1: tell you all the vile insults she has heaped upon me.
20:55
Speaker 1: I have stood at all because of the others. But
20:57
Speaker 1: her latest effort was really too much. And she told
21:01
Speaker 1: me of some foolish thing that this girl had done,
21:03
Speaker 1: which might indeed have injurious consequences to Andrea herself. But
21:07
Speaker 1: those private words promised me by Jazelle's confiding eyes for
21:11
Speaker 1: the moment when Albertine should have left us by ourselves,
21:14
Speaker 1: were destined never to be spoken, because after Albertine, stubbornly
21:18
Speaker 1: planted between us, had answered with increasing curtness, and finally
21:22
Speaker 1: had ceased to respond at all to her friend's remarks.
21:26
Speaker 1: Giselle at length abandoned the attempt and turned back. I
21:30
Speaker 1: found fault with Albertine for having been so disagreeable. It
21:33
Speaker 1: will teach her to be more careful how she behaves.
21:35
Speaker 1: She's not a bad kid, but she'd talk the head
21:38
Speaker 1: off a donkey. She's no business either to go poking
21:41
Speaker 1: her nose into everything. Why should she fasten herself on
21:44
Speaker 1: to us without being asked? In another minute, I'd have
21:48
Speaker 1: told her to go to Blaze's. Besides, I can't stand
21:50
Speaker 1: her going about with her hair like that. It's such
21:52
Speaker 1: bad form. I gazed at Albertine's cheeks as she spoke,
21:56
Speaker 1: and asked myself what might be the perfume the taste
21:59
Speaker 1: of them? This time they were not cool, but glowed
22:02
Speaker 1: with a uniform pink violet tinted creamy, like certain roses
22:07
Speaker 1: whose petal have a waxy gloss. I felt passionate longing
22:11
Speaker 1: for them, such as one feels sometimes for a particular flower.
22:15
Speaker 1: I had noticed. It was all that, I said. You
22:17
Speaker 1: stared at her hard enough. Anyone would have said you
22:20
Speaker 1: wanted to paint her portrait, she scolded, not at all
22:23
Speaker 1: softened by the fact that it was at herself that
22:25
Speaker 1: I was now staring so fixedly. I don't believe you
22:29
Speaker 1: would care for her all the same. She's not in
22:31
Speaker 1: the least a flirt. You like little girls who flirt
22:34
Speaker 1: with you. I know. Anyhow, she won't have another chance
22:37
Speaker 1: of fastening on to us and being sent about our business.
22:40
Speaker 1: She's going off today to Paris. Are the rest of
22:44
Speaker 1: your friends going to No? Only she and miss because
22:47
Speaker 1: she's got an exam coming. She's got to stay at
22:50
Speaker 1: home and swatch for it. Poor kid, it's not much
22:53
Speaker 1: fun for her. I don't mind telling you. Of course,
22:56
Speaker 1: you may be said a good subject, you never know,
22:58
Speaker 1: but it's a tremendous risk. One girl I know was asked,
23:02
Speaker 1: describe an accident that you have witnessed. That was a
23:06
Speaker 1: piece of luck. But I know another girl who got
23:08
Speaker 1: states which you would rather have as a friend alcest
23:11
Speaker 1: or filland I'm sure I should have dried up altogether.
23:16
Speaker 1: Apart from everything else, it's not a question to set
23:19
Speaker 1: to girls. Girls go about with other girls. They're not
23:22
Speaker 1: supposed to have gentlemen friends. This announcement, which showed that
23:26
Speaker 1: I had but little chance of being admitted to the
23:28
Speaker 1: companionship of the band froze my blood. But in any case,
23:33
Speaker 1: supposing it was set to boys, what on earth would
23:35
Speaker 1: you expect them to say to a question like that?
23:38
Speaker 1: Several parents wrote to the Guloy to complain of the
23:41
Speaker 1: difficult questions that were being set. The joke of it
23:44
Speaker 1: is that in a collection of prize winning essays, they
23:46
Speaker 1: gave two which treated the question in absolute opposite ways.
23:50
Speaker 1: You see, it all depends on which examiner you get.
23:53
Speaker 1: One would like you to say that Filanty was a
23:55
Speaker 1: flatterer and a scoundrel, the other that you couldn't help
23:58
Speaker 1: admiring Alces, but that he was too cantankerous, and that
24:02
Speaker 1: is a friend you ought to choose Vilanty. How can
24:05
Speaker 1: you expect a lot of unfortunate candidates to know what
24:07
Speaker 1: to say when the professors themselves can't make up their minds?
24:10
Speaker 1: But that's nothing. They get more difficult every year. Jizelle
24:14
Speaker 1: will want all her wits about her if she's to
24:17
Speaker 1: get through. I returned to the hotel. My grandmother was
24:21
Speaker 1: not there. I waited for her for some time. When
24:24
Speaker 1: at last she appeared, I begged her to allow me,
24:27
Speaker 1: in quite unexpected circumstances, to make an expedition which might
24:31
Speaker 1: keep me away for a couple of days. I had
24:34
Speaker 1: luncheon with her, ordered a carriage, and drove to the station.
24:37
Speaker 1: Gizelle would show no surprise at seeing me there after
24:40
Speaker 1: we had changed at Duncie. In the Paris train, there
24:43
Speaker 1: would be a carriage with a corridor along which, while
24:46
Speaker 1: the Governess dozed, I should be able to lead Josel
24:49
Speaker 1: into dark corners and make an appointment to meet her
24:52
Speaker 1: on my return to Paris, which I would then try
24:54
Speaker 1: to put forward to the earliest possible date. I would
24:58
Speaker 1: travel with her as far as Cayenne or Evreux, whichever
25:02
Speaker 1: she preferred, and would take the next train back to Ballback.
25:05
Speaker 1: And yet, what would she have thought of me had
25:07
Speaker 1: she known that I had hesitated for a long time
25:09
Speaker 1: between her and her friends, that quite as much as
25:12
Speaker 1: with her, I had contemplated falling in love with Albertine,
25:15
Speaker 1: with the bright eyed girl with Rosamond. I felt a
25:18
Speaker 1: pang of remorse now that a bond of mutual affection
25:20
Speaker 1: was going to unite me with Giselle. I could, moreover
25:23
Speaker 1: truthfully have assured her that Albertine no longer interested me.
25:27
Speaker 1: I had seen her that morning, as she swerved aside,
25:29
Speaker 1: almost turning her back on me, to speak to Giselle
25:32
Speaker 1: on her head, which was bent sullenly over her bosom.
25:34
Speaker 1: The hair that grew at the back, different from and
25:38
Speaker 1: darker than the rest, shown as though she had just
25:41
Speaker 1: been bathing like a dying duck in a thunderstorm. I
25:44
Speaker 1: thought to myself, this view of her hair having let
25:47
Speaker 1: into Aberteen's body a soul entirely different from that implied
25:51
Speaker 1: hitherto by her glowing complexion and mysterious at gaze. That
25:55
Speaker 1: shining cataract of hair at the back of her head
25:57
Speaker 1: had been, for a moment or two, all that I
25:59
Speaker 1: was able to see her, and continued to be all
26:01
Speaker 1: that I saw in retrospect. Our memory is like a
26:04
Speaker 1: shop in the window of which is exposed now one
26:07
Speaker 1: now another photograph of the same person, and as a rule,
26:11
Speaker 1: the most recent exhibit remains for some time the only
26:13
Speaker 1: one to be seen. While the coachman whipped on his horse,
26:17
Speaker 1: I sat there, listening to the words of gratitude and
26:19
Speaker 1: affection which Giselle was murmuring in my ear born. All
26:22
Speaker 1: of them of her friendly smile and outstretched hand. The
26:26
Speaker 1: fact that, being in those periods of my life in
26:29
Speaker 1: which I was not actually but desired to be in love,
26:32
Speaker 1: I carried in my mind not only an ideal form
26:34
Speaker 1: of beauty once seen, which I recognized at a glance
26:37
Speaker 1: in every passing stranger, who kept far enough from me
26:40
Speaker 1: for her confused features to resist any attempt at identification,
26:44
Speaker 1: but also the moral phantom, ever ready to be incarnate,
26:48
Speaker 1: of the woman who was going to fall in love
26:49
Speaker 1: with me, to take up her cues in the amorous
26:52
Speaker 1: comedy which I had written out in my mind from
26:54
Speaker 1: earliest boyhood, and in which every nice girl seemed to
26:58
Speaker 1: me to be equally desirous of playing, provided that she
27:01
Speaker 1: had also some of the physical qualifications required in this play.
27:06
Speaker 1: Whoever the new star might be, whom I invited to
27:09
Speaker 1: create or to revive the leading part the plot, the incidents,
27:12
Speaker 1: the lines themselves preserved an unalterable form. End of Section
27:18
Speaker 1: forty three