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How to know if a narcissist is in LOVE with you? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people.
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  Today we're going to be talking about how to tell if a
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  narcissist loves you, How to tell if a narcissist is in love
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  with you. If new here, my name is Lee
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  Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist and welcome to another episode of the
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  Narcissist Code. Welcome back, welcome back,
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  welcome back folks. Yes, I have my tank, my brand,
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  my brand tank top is on today. It says I'm free.
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  The self love brand, I love me the self love brand Link is in
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  the bio for everything self love related.
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  But yes, y'all yes, yes yes narcissist and loving you.
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  How to tell how to know if they are in love with you.
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  I know a lot of people are going to start off the video.
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  Y'all probably stop the video right here and be like well Lee,
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  you're a damn liar. Narcissists don't love you at
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  all. That's how you tell they can't
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  love. They're demons rah rah.
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  And some of y'all will be right. Some narcissists don't love you.
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  Some narcissists that are further along the scale don't
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  have the ability to love you. Let's keep it hot and ready.
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  Y'all know, hot and ready like a Little Caesar's pizza is what I
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  always what is what I'm always saying right.
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  So let's keep it hiding ready. But that if you go into that
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  mindset when you start digging deeper into narcissistic people,
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  that's how it works. Though some of them don't have
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  the ability to love you. But there are narcissists out
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  there who I think can you know, and I think I think a lot of
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  people would agree. And I keep, I keep having to
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  make, I keep having to go back and say stuff like this.
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  Some narcissist is right. Just just because I say the
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  narcissist has the ability to maybe have loved you at one time
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  or another doesn't mean that you need to go back to that person.
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  It doesn't mean you're like you might.
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  It doesn't mean you like you know what?
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  I'm going to give them another chance because Lee Hammock said
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  to do this. Lee Hammock said to do that.
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  No, no, no, don't do that. Y'all don't don't.
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  Lee said he they have the ability to love, so I'm going to
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  love. No, that's not what I'm saying.
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  Y'all, please don't do that, please.
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  But that's the mindset of a lot of narcissist right there.
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  That's that's how it goes. I would say that one way to tell
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  that they love you is how they treat you.
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  How are they treating you? How are they treating you love I
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  I do believe that narcissists can love in their own particular
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  way, right? And most narcissists view love
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  as a physical thing, physical at first.
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  It might not start off as a, you know, just physical stuff.
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  It might seem like y'all have a deep emotional connection,
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  right? It might seem like you have this
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  deep, this deep seated, this deep emotional connection of
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  y'all cannot be separated, right?
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  Y'all or you're both of y'all are saying the right things,
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  you're doing the right things. You're you're, you're planning
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  the future together. Like everything is clicking.
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  They make you feel like you have butterflies and you giving them
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  butterflies and all the other stuff.
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  But we we couldn't realize it's not really butterflies.
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  It's crickets. You know, there's crickets and
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  they're hopping crickets. They eat when they eat when
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  they're in your stomach. You can't really tell what kind
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  of insect it is. You just you know, you feel the
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  wings. It ain't, it ain't butterflies,
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  it's crickets. But that's how it goes though.
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  But they show you love. They might have that emotional
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  connection at first, right? Because I do feel like a lot of
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  narcissists have the ability to emotionally connect to you at
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  first, but that as the emotional connection wanes and fades off,
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  they've result they they result to doing physical stuff.
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  Hey, I just clapped them cheeks last night.
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  You should know I love you, right?
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  You should know I love you because I just broke that back,
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  because I did this, because we did that, because I gave you a
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  gift, because I did this, I did that right?
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  I gave you know, I, I wish you a happy birthday.
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  I, I wrote a text message that said I love you.
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  Is that not enough? It's physical things.
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  It's the act of love. You said how they treated you.
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  They're treating you like they love you in their minds because
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  they're giving you physical stuff.
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  They're giving you physical things.
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  They are, they're giving you physical stuff like here, here's
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  some here's some physicality to show you that I love you and
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  that's what they do and they mean it too.
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  Y'all, a lot of them do mean it. They mean to show you that they
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  love you by doing physical acts for you.
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  So that's why I was like, if you're dealing with a toxic
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  narcissistic person, if they're they show you through
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  physicality, they show you through that type of stuff right
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  there. So that's why I was just telling
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  you that's how they think that they're showing you that they
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  love you. Is that enough for you?
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  Probably not. You know, if you were to keep it
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  high, if you were to keep it real with yourself and keep it
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  real with everybody else, you would just say you'd probably
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  say the same name. Well, leave.
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  That's not enough for me. Yeah.
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  And most people would agree it's not enough like doing physical
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  stuff. It's not going to be enough for
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  most people. You notice I said most people
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  because some people you're, you like the physical stuff.
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  Hey, I don't care if you have an emotional connection.
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  As long as I'm, as long as I can fly where I want to fly, do what
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  I want to do, buy what I want to buy, I'm fine.
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  So that might be enough for some people.
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  You know, this, this is, yeah, this is a no judgement zone.
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  This is the Planet Fitness of this is Planet Fitness of the
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  narcissistic abuse channels and whatnot and such.
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  But like I said, they show you love through the physical stuff.
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  Another way that a narcissist thinks that they are showing you
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  love is through their presence, like their physical presence by
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  being here with you, right? I'm here, Art and I, you know,
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  that's why you guys like you never, you never told me that
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  you love me anymore. You never show you that you
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  never show me that you love me anymore.
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  Like what's going on? I feel like things are, I feel
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  like we're growing, we're growing, we're growing, things
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  are growing, we're growing apart.
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  We're becoming very distant. So can we work on things?
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  Wow. We we I'm I'm here arc and I I
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  wouldn't I wouldn't you know, if I didn't love you, I wouldn't be
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  here, right. Right.
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  So I'm here. My presence should be enough for
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  you. And and that's yeah, a lot of
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  them truly believe that they think being with you is showing
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  you is enough to show you that they love you.
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  That's, I mean, just a I don't, I don't make the, I don't make
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  the, I don't make the narcissistic rules, y'all.
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  I just enforce them. I don't even enforce.
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  Yeah, I don't even enforce them. I don't even make the rules
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  though. But that's how it goes in the
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  mind of a lot of narcissists. They even feel like I'm here.
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  You should. That should be enough.
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  You know, I'm here. That should be enough.
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  That's it. That's how it goes right there.
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  You know, I know that the next thing I'm going to cover y'all
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  is yeah, the next thing I'll cover, I'll talk about is it's
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  going to sound like the first one, but it's not.
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  It's it can it can be included in the first one through the
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  physical stuff. But another way that they show
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  you love is by money, the financial stuff.
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  They think that they can show you that they love you by giving
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  you the financial things like if I can, I can financially
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  incentivize you to be with me and whatnot.
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  Like I'm, I'm giving you money, aren't I?
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  Like I, I literally just saw, I wish I could find it.
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  I literally just saw a video the other day of a dude getting mad
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  about his girlfriend going through his phone because he,
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  he's like as much money as I spend on you.
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  You don't need to go through my phone knowing he's cheating.
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  Like his reaction. So his reaction said everything
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  that you needed to say, but he's like as much money as I spend on
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  you, you can't go through my phone.
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  You can't go through my phone. I, I pay, I pay for everything
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  around here. They will financially.
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  That's how they think they show you they love you.
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  I'm paying. I'm a provider.
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  You know, that's that's the word they'll use provider I provide
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  here, you know, so they they automatically assume that you're
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  because they're providers and whatnot that you are that
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  they're showing you that they love you because they're
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  providers, right? That's the mindset, that's the
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  that's the dynamic. That's how they go right there
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  is they show you that they love you by physically providing for
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  you, you know, physically give you this money here.
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  Here's $20 go, you know, like give you an allowance pretty
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  much like treating you like, like treating you like a child.
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  Damn near. I'm here.
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  I'm physically giving you this money right here.
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  So you should be this, you should do this.
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  You should feel this way. That's the mindset of a lot of
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  narcissistic people right there, because I'm physically here,
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  physically giving you this money, physically doing this,
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  physically doing that, you should be happy.
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  That is the how they feel. That's how they think.
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  That's how they they feel like they're supposed to be supported
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  by physically give you this money and whatnot.
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  Y'all Yeah, and I'll go and this is just a bonus way right here.
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  Yeah. They think telling you that they
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  love you is enough. Saying it.
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  A lot of narcissists, how do you how can you tell if an
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  narcissist love you? They'll say it.
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  They'll tell you I love you, I love you, I love you.
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  This is the mind of a narcissist is y'all.
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  This is the mind of a narcissist.
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  Like they'll they think just telling you that they love you
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  is enough, not doing anything else, not not treating you well,
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  not being there for you, not making you happy just by telling
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  you that they love you. That's what they do, y'all?
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  That's and that's what they do. I know again, I know a lot of
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  people will see this video and this be like Lee, narcissists
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  cannot love you, but I don't feel that same way y'all.
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  I just feel like I think that narcissists have limited
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  emotional capacity. Most of them like they don't
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  want to go deep beneath the surface to get to those, the
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  deep emotions. I don't think that narcissists
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  like the only way that they can truly, truly love you to the
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  level that you deserve to be loved or the level that you feel
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  like you deserve to be loved is if they get deep and vulnerable,
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  right? They have to have, they have to
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  want to get vulnerable. They have to want to get deep.
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  They have to want to dig deeper beneath their dig deep deep
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  deeper beneath their own surfaces in order to show you
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  that they love you, right? That's what I truly believe.
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  I think most narcissists have to be be willing and able to be
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  vulnerable to show you that they love you because a lot of
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  narcissists see vulnerability as weakness.
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  And I don't think that you can truly show anybody that you love
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  them if you're not willing to be emotionally vulnerable to that
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  person. You know you're not willing
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  because they don't like, I'll say this, most narcissists don't
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  feel safe with you. I know what you're going to say.
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  Well, Lee, how can we make them feel safe?
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  Y'all? You can go above and beyond.
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  It really is a mental thing. They have to go get mental help
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  to breakthrough those barriers because you can try and try and
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  try, but unless you're a licensed clinical psychologist
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  and, and pretty and that that doesn't work all the time, you
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  can't help them breakthrough mental barriers that you didn't
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  help put up, like you didn't help them build those barriers,
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  right? But you didn't abuse them in
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  childhood. Like they think that they're
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  showing you love because a lot of times they, what they're
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  doing in adulthood is modeling what they saw in childhood.
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  They model, they're modeling what they saw their parents
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  doing. They're modeling what they saw
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  their parents doing. They're modeling what they saw
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  their grandparents doing. They're modeling the
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  relationship that they saw as children.
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  So this is, this is literally the mindset of a lot of
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  narcissists, right? They think that they're showing
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  you love because they're doing this because they're doing that
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  because they're you know, this is this is what I saw growing up
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  and my parents are still together.
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  Boom, there you go right there. They're they're modeling things
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  and showing you to stuff like that.
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  Y'all. But anyway, y'all hope y'all
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  enjoyed the video. If you're interested, like I
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  said, check out my support groups and my courses right
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  here, courses.mentalillness.net and I will see y'all on the next
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  on the next mental illness ride. I'm out.