Latest / Dear Divorce Diary: A Fresh Approach To Healing Grief & Building A Life Of Confidence After Divorce / 321. The Divorce Diet: From Midnight Bingeing to Appetite Loss - What Your Body Is Really Asking For

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321. The Divorce Diet: From Midnight Bingeing to Appetite Loss - What Your Body Is Really Asking For · Dear Divorce Diary: A Fresh Approach To Healing Grief & Building A Life Of Confidence After Divorce

• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: If you have ever found yourself standing in front of the fridge at like 2 a.m.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: eating straight from the carton, or maybe the flip side, staring at food and feeling like nothing looks good because your stomach is in knots, you are in good company.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: You're in the thick of what we like to call the divorce diet.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: Stress from divorce, the uncertainty of your grief, your resentment, the mental and emotional load.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: It's hijacked your appetite in one of two ways: overeating to soothe your nervous system, or undereating because your body is in survival mode.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: Both are normal, but they're also signals that your body needs more than talk therapy boundaries.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: But it's a signal that your body actually needs more than talk therapy and boundaries in order to come back online.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: Hi, love.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to Dear Divorce Diary, the podcast helping divorcees go beyond talk therapy to process your grief, find the healing you crave, and build back your confidence.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: I'm your host, Don Wiggins, a therapist, coach, integrative healer, and divorcee.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: Join me for a fresh approach to healing grief and building your confidence after divorce.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, today's episode is just so unbelievably important and good.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: It's something we've talked around a lot, but we've never talked this directly and specifically about this direct problem and how to solve it.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: So freaking stay tuned because I'm very, very excited.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna unpack in this episode stories we've heard, things we've experienced about, you know, the overeating and under-eating phenomena, the nausea, the crappy digestion, the just difficulty around food, appetite, weight loss, and PS, how all of that intersects with our body image and wanting to feel attractive and feeling rejected and all the things, right?
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna get into that.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: But then we are going to talk about what your body is trying to cope with that therapy can't help it with, right?
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_01: So we're gonna unpack the science behind when stress, grief, and betrayal hit the body, how digestion is one of the first systems to go offline or go rogue, right?
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: So we're gonna dig into how cortisol and adrenaline don't just affect your mood or your weight.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: They actually change how your organs function.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_01: Let me say that again.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: This divorce is affecting how your organs are functioning, how your nutrients are absorbed, and even what foods your body craves.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: And so, what most women don't realize that we're gonna talk about is how resentment, fear, heartbreak, and worry each deplete different organs.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: And those organs are quietly driving your emotional loops that you can't seem to quite break.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: And then by the end of the episode, you are going to want to stay for this because we are going to really dig into what to do about it.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: I don't hear this being discussed a lot in the divorce space.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe I'm wrong.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: If you've heard it, please send me a DM.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um but if your organs are depleted, the nervous system work, the mindset shifts, and the emotional breakthroughs struggle to stick.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: So we're gonna unpack the exact specific way we are approaching this over here on Dear Divorce Diary and how to solve for it.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: So stay with us because the solution is not another therapy tool, right?
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: It's a very old solution that is going to help speak to your body to give it the thing it needs so that it can heal.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: All right, ladies, tell me some stories about in your the depths of your relationship challenges, traumas.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: What was your experience like with food and eating and how and the toll it took on your body?
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: So I stopped eating.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_02: I think we both like we both stopped eating.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we both stopped eating, yeah.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember I had a friend who, you know, because I I was still living in my house, you know, leading up to the separation and everything.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: And so the week before we were getting ready to move out, um, she would just come over every day to check and make sure I'd eaten.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: You know, she would bring me food because I would feed my daughter, but then it was like the only thing that I was eating were her leftovers, so I'd scarf half of a chicken nugget or like whatever was on the plate, you know.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: So I think for me, I was not eating, and then I remember feeling this um hunger.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like I would be, and then I would get famished where I would want to eat a lot, but every time I tried to eat something, I immediately felt this sense of nausea.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like the fullness in me created this feeling of nausea, and it was just constant anxiety and churning in my body.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: So I just didn't eat and ended up losing like 40 pounds over the course of, you know, just probably two or three months post-divorce.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: Which I feel like women sort of love that uh, you know, unintentional side effect or whatever, right?
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_01: It's like a blow up, yeah.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, let's ladies look.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: The first selfie that I ever posted on Facebook post-divorce, I had just gotten a nose ring, and so I had this cute little diamond and I was laying on my tummy on the floor with my legs up.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: I still remember it.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: I look hot as shit, you know, like I was like, damn, there I am.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but yeah, like obviously very depleted, right?
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: Emotionally just wiped.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: Physically, I looked on point and sexy as hell, but emotionally, like I was a mess.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: Well, but also because there's sometimes it takes months for the effects of something to land in the body, right?
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: So for instance, Joy and I have been monitoring my hair loss because I miscarried in November, right?
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_01: And now we're at February, and it's like, oh, am I gonna go through this massive shed phase?
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_01: I actually did, Joy, this weekend.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_01: I had like a big shed, right?
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like so, and we've been trying to like mitigate that, but so the body is on lag, right?
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: By the time things trickle down to the cells, there's a there's a lag.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: And so, yeah, you could take that selfie after you lost the 40 pounds, but then four months after that, what is happening to your skin?
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_01: What is happening to your hair loss?
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: What is happening to your ability to detoxify and and sleep, right?
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_01: Because now you're wired and tired, and now your cells are so depleted, and now you look haggard.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: And so, because at first, probably, right, the body benefits from that unburdening.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_01: That's why it goes nauseous, that's why it stops being hungry, because it can't handle the amount of intensity.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_02: That's autophagy fasting.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_02: Right, right, right.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: Autophagy autophagy, is that a word?
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: Autophagenic fast, it's right, yeah, right.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: And so the body is able to focus on moving through the feelings, the trauma, the intensity of the experience, right?
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: But then yeah, the the downstream effect is well, and I wasn't sleeping.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: So I even remember when I applied for my first job post-divorce, I specifically asked after they offered me the position, do you guys drug test?
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: Because I'm gonna be very honest.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like the only way I'm sleeping right now is by smoking weed.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: And that's literally how I dealt with my divorce for quite a while after was by drinking and and getting high.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: And if I wasn't either buzzed or high at night, like I couldn't sleep.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: The adrenaline was just too much, my anxiety was too much.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_01: So many women's stories.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_01: I'd be shocked if it isn't so many women's stories.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_01: And and I think that we've, you know, it sounds a little provocative to hear you say it, like, oh, you were drinking and smoking weed, but like I think that we've culturally turned that into something very common, meaning like Delta 9 gummies and CBD.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like, like you just take a gummy now with some legal THC in it, and it's become like, oh, I don't smoke pot, but I take a sleep gummy and like it's recommended.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't know, we've made we've made it so normal and common for it.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's normal.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: Back then it wasn't.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, back then it was still very taboo when I was going through my divorce.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not like I shared it with a lot of people, but yeah, for sure.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like I deal with a lot of clients now who they they tell me all the time, they're like, Well, I don't get high, but I take THC every day, and I'm like, uh, it's kind of the same thing.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: Which also blocks recovery, right?
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_01: It's yeah, it really does, yeah.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_02: Mm-hmm.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_02: Mm-hmm.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, my story is so similar to Tiffany's where the initial the you know, the initial moment where he moved out, probably that first week, I didn't eat, I didn't sleep, I didn't do anything other than survive.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_02: They were um and then as I started recognizing like I'm my body's gonna start shutting down.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_02: I have to take care of my body because I can't take care of myself if I I can't take care of my children if I can't take care of myself.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_02: They were six and four at the time, and so like I had to, like, right, I had to, there was no choice.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_02: And so I started eating, but then I would eat like three eggs a week, uh three eggs a day.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_02: And that is what, and then I um systematically was doing the Brad Yates emotional um tapping.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_02: And so like I started to kind of come out of it, but I lost half my hair.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_02: I lost 40 pounds in about um five weeks, six weeks, and losing half my hair months later caused a whole nother trauma, right?
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_02: And it's affecting me to this day, and it's been years because I was a hairstylist.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_02: Like my hair was a part of my identity, yeah, and it's how I, you know, bought food.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_02: So there was a there was so much trauma.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_02: It's like the secondary traumas.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_02: You have the original separation, divorce, and then you have all these other things that stick to you, um, change the chemical in your brain.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's just the hair loss piece is interesting, right?
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_01: Because it's not just nutritional, it's not just hormonal, like right, you have the nutritional piece.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: If you don't have proper nutrition, you're gonna lose your hair.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_01: It's if you don't have the proper nutrition, you don't have the proper hormone, whatever, you know, but it's also emotional.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_01: Like we can lose our hair simply because of trauma-based separation.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like divorce is like a triple storm.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_01: What's that?
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_01: A gift that keeps on giving.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_01: All right, so a little bit of science behind that, right?
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_01: The physiology.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_01: So cortisol and adrenaline spike causes digestion to shut down.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_01: That's when they talk about fight or flight, right?
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_01: It's like when you're running away from the tyrannosaur, your body is intentionally funneling energy towards survival.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_01: So it's shutting off your digestion on purpose because it's concentrating on, it perceives you are gonna die, right?
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's prioritizing survival-based things and it's not digestion.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_01: So that's why they call fight, flight, freeze, or rest and digest, because it's like this sympathetic versus parasympathetic toggle, right?
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: So at first, digestion shuts down, which is why we have undereating.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_01: And so the flip side of that is cravings for a quick sugar or a fat as a trauma response, which is like soothing.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_01: Like, how many women crave sugar or specifically chocolate?
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_01: Chocolate is a very common one, but carbs, you know, breads, pastas, right?
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_01: It's like craving sugar in whatever form it is, whether it's in carbs like bread pasta or literally like sweet snacks or chocolate, because the nervous system is looking for soothing, is looking for a way to regulate.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_01: And so there's this that's the science behind the under-eating, overeating.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_01: So I want us to go through um in traditional Chinese medicine, which I don't want to lose y'all, right?
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_01: So, but there is a link between where we store emotions in our body.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_01: And traditional Chinese medicine has mapped these for thousands of years.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_01: And so when stress lingers in specific organs, those organs get depleted.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_01: And then that also shows up in appetite changes, exhaustion, resentment loops, feeling not enough.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_01: So when women report to us appetite chaos, I love that phrase, right?
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: Appetite chaos.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_01: Because your organs are literally carrying the emotional weight of betrayal, loss, unfairness, and all the things.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_01: So I would guess that this wasn't something that y'all were aware of when you were in the thick of it.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: Do you think it's do you think that most women have at least heard of like emotions stuck in specific organs these days, or do you think this is largely a No, because when I'm in session with clients, I will specifically ask them when we're doing IFS where they feel certain parts, and then I will go back to them and say, This is what your body's saying based on the pain you're holding or where you're feeling this part, and they're always amazed.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: You know, they're just amazed.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like if you draw back, even like for me personally, I've always had issues with my kidneys and bladder.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like I always hold stress there.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: I've always had a tight pelvic floor, I've always had issues, like I've just so much is stored there.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: And so for me, when I started researching what that means emotionally for me, that I've always had chronic UTIs and I've had autoimmune diseases in the bladder, and I've just, it's like, whoa, like, oh yeah, all of that stress is sitting in there.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: And also the one time that you put me on a homeopathic remedy, I presented physical symptoms outside of my body near my kidneys.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: So clearly, my kidneys beholden a lot.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_01: One time I put you on homeopathic remedy, that specific one.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, that specific one.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_01: So, and we've done at least an episode or two on sleep and when we wake up in the night is tied to an organ system, right?
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_01: That's traditional Chinese medicine.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_01: And we have that's a very popular, like women tell me they listened to that episode and it made them so here we're gonna come at it from a whole nother angle.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_01: All right, so I'm gonna walk us through the organ systems and talk about specifically how it does like ties to divorce trauma and like just interrupt with your thoughts, feelings, aha, reactions, what you see.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know, just like throw a flag.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_01: So the liver.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_01: We have talked about the liver a good bit, right?
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_01: And we recently had an episode where we talked about our Destin Homeopathics liver clearing remedy blend.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_01: So perhaps we've talked about this a good bit, but so the liver is responsible for anger, resentment, frustration, the unfair feeling.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_01: So when the liver is depleted, you might crave sweets and feel nauseous around food.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_01: Anytime we have nausea or vomiting, there's always liver involvement.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_01: So the resentment that flares, you know, every time you're handing off the kids or you get the text message or whatever, that's the liver.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_01: And so how do we help support the liver?
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: Other than we want to detoxify it using homeopathics, right?
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_01: But how do we feed the liver?
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_01: Actual beef liver, like have you ever heard it discussed, like the idea of eating organ meats helps nourish our own organs.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_01: So beef liver from a cow is nature's multivitamin for detoxification and for smoothing emotional flow.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_01: So let's say we use homeopathics to like clear those channels, but actually eating beef liver gives the liver the nutrients, the vitamin A, the B12, the iron, the CoQ10 it needs to actually process and release instead of recycling it.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: So let's say the liver is clogged and we've used homeopathics to clear the clog.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_01: But now does it have the energy?
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_01: Does it have the nutrition?
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_01: Does it have the nutrients it needs to actually metabolize to cope with the amount of anger you're having to move through?
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_01: Because that's the definition of trauma, right?
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_01: Is when there's too much for the system to process and the system shuts down in order to cope.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_01: So so much about liver is about cravings, hot flashes, nausea, vitality, digestion, and for most of us it's clogged.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_01: We can see that in how many hot flashes we get.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_01: Even even early in our 40s, I think women are already experiencing, you know, perimenopause and the intensity of the things, right?
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_01: And nausea, do y'all relate to having a lot of nausea during that time?
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, Tiffany, you said when you ate, that's what happened.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: It was constant for me.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like it was either after I was eating or it was not just from the anxiety.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: It was just my stomach was constantly upset.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_01: And this is my kid's primary symptom.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_01: I would say a very, very primary symptom of hers is nausea when she feels emotionally overwhelmed.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_01: That's what happens.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_01: She gets a stomachache.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_01: She was born with this little skin tag on her ear.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_01: It's like not little, it's pretty big, but and they told us when she was born, like, oh, that skin tag is it happened.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_01: Ears develop in the same time in utero as liver.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_01: So they knew from the the the um what's that doc pediatrician said she may have some liver involvement, right?
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_01: Because that skin tag on her ear, and sure as shit, like that is her vulnerability.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_01: So, ladies, if you are struggling with nausea, your liver needs support.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_01: And you're gonna want to stay to the end to hear our solution, right?
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_01: Other than our homeopathic solution.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_01: All right, let's talk about the kidneys.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_01: So all three of us have kidney shit, like all three of us, right?
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_01: Your team here at Deer Divorce Diary has a boatload of kidney shit.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_01: This is us.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um, all right, kidneys is fear, insecurity, unworthiness, deep exhaustion, loss of willpower.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_01: Like, hang on, can we just pause there for a moment?
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna come back to the screen.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_01: Loss of willpower is kidneys.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just let it giving a moment for that to sink in.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_02: I've never heard I've never heard that before.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_02: Loss of willpower is kidneys.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_01: So, like you make a deal with yourself, right?
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_01: We'll talk about boundaries, right?
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_01: Because we can set boundaries, but then we have trouble maintaining boundaries, whether it's about our own food intake or how we're communicating with people or what, right?
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_01: Like, and when we make a deal with ourselves and then we break it, yeah.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_01: It's kidneys.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's like the diet starts on Monday, and it's like every Monday.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_01: Every Monday is like kidneys, friend.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, feeling small, unworthy, or like you can't keep going.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_01: Kidneys hold your deep root energy.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_01: So when they're drained, everything is affected, right?
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_01: So feeling not enough, depleted, scared about the future, carrying the emotional load, the just like all of that.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_01: So when we feed the kidneys, beef kidney and collagen, it deeply nourishes your root energy.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_01: This helps your body rebuild the felt sense of safety and worth from the inside.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_01: So you stop looking to him or even your kids to prove you're worthy, right?
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_01: Because how many of us accidentally like look to our kids when he's gone, right?
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_01: We're like, oh, if our kid if my kids love me, then I'll then I'm worthy, right?
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_02: I had I had a something.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_02: Go ahead, Joy.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, go ahead.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_02: I was just gonna say I had a friend who replaced all of her sons, like she got the Spider-Man car seat, and she did all these things because she wanted her son to love the mom, you know, love her more than the dad.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_02: Like wanted, I want to ride in the Spider-Man car seat instead of dad's boring car seat because yeah, right, it's a thing.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: So you're saying collagen helps.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: So here's the weird part.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: So yesterday I had the red light therapy in my facial, which is supposed to increase collagen production.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: So normally I have to take a pee break before we start recording this morning because of my coffee, but today I didn't.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like my kidneys are very calm and I don't feel like I need a pee.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_00: How weird is that?
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's not weird at all.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_01: That is what we're here to say.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_01: It's not weird at all, right?
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_01: So again, you're gonna want to stay to the end of the episode because you want to hear the solution that we have, the one stop shop solution to all of this, right?
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_01: And it's not red light therapy.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_01: Well, no, but I'm a big fan.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_01: Like cookie.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm like I like I'm a big fan of red light.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_01: Like yeah, joy.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_02: Feel significantly better.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I feel significantly better when I sit under my red light.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_01: My sauna that I got for Christmas has red light in it.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um, okay.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_01: Heart.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_01: Heartbreak, anxiety, lack of joy and connection, emotional pain.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_01: That is the heart struggling to circulate.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_01: It literally energetically shuts down, closes off, and struggles to circulate joy and connection.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_01: So the grief of the lost marriage, the anxiety around co-parenting, feeling emotionally raw.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_01: When we eat beef heart, the heart of a cow or a sheep or whatever, right?
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_01: It's rich in CoQ10.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: And those CoQ10 nutrients actually calm the spirit.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_01: In Chinese medicine, it's called shen and support emotional circulation.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_01: Emotional circulation.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_01: Have any of y'all heard that the heart is a vortex?
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's not just an organ, like the way, like the heart is built in the Nautilus Fibonacci.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_01: Like you can literally unroll the heart if you look at the shape of it.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_01: It creates this vortextual pumping of emotional energy through our body.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's fascinating.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_01: It is an energetic organ, right?
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like it functions through electrical circuitry.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_01: And so CoQ10 and specifically eating organ meats that are made of heart actually soothes that heart energy.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_01: So, this is one of the things, and one of the remedies we love for heart around here is Nat Mir, because Nat Mir anticipates rejection, anticipates it's going to be betrayed, anticipates that it's going to be hurt or that grief is going to happen, right?
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_01: And so when the heart closes down and shuts down and protects itself, now from a law of attraction standpoint, what are you attracting?
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_01: You're literally attracting people that are going to betray you or going to let you down, which just reinforces that heart closed thing, right?
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_01: So we love unblocking that stagnant heart energy and recovering that trauma.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_01: But again, now the heart muscle being depleted.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_01: That's actually one of the scariest moments I had years ago as I was starting homeopathy, is I was starting to really have.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_01: Massive consequences show up in the muscle of my heart, and it was starting to dissect, which is terrifying sometimes when I think about it.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_01: But that is years of complex trauma and chronic disease taking its toll energetically on the heart.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_01: And how many women, when they say where do you feel it in the body, they they point to their chest.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's almost always in the chest.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_01: Which can also be lungs sometimes.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_01: Because the heart, right?
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_01: It's called the cardiothoracic area, right?
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_01: So the lungs, grief, sadness, difficulty letting go lungs, beef lung helps the lungs grieve properly, right?
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_01: Because the lungs are responsible for holding on and letting go of grief.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_01: So that the lungs and the heart often work together there around releasing grief, right?
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_01: Here is one that is really undiscussed, I think.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_01: Like under, like uh what's it called when something is um underrated.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_01: Underrated conversation is your spleen.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, and we teased this in a recent episode, right?
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_01: Where I was like, oh, um moved on to kidneys.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'm working on my spleen.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_01: So this is the moment, right, that we've all been waiting for that day that I was talking about my spleen.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_01: So the spleen is responsible for worry, overthinking, rumination, guilt, mental overload.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_01: Boy.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_01: So bloating, fatigue, binging on carbs, right?
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's secondary digestive remedy.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_01: So when we again eating beef spleen or shh pig or sheep spleen or whatever, plus colostrum and collagen, again, there's collagen shining.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_01: When the spleen is nourished, then worry can start to quiet and you can stop overfunctioning from guilt.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_01: Now, have you ever heard a therapist or a healer tell you to check your spleen health to help you with your rumination?
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_01: Never.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_02: And I've met a lot of therapists.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_00: But every single client we had has rumination.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_01: Struggles with this.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_01: This is the thing we know everyone listening to this episode right now now knows their spleen is underpowered.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_01: Mm-hmm.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_02: Optimalized for sure.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_01: So what do we do about this, right?
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, okay, we love, we love ourselves some homeopathic remedies to clear the energy, but how do we support the body in a way that these organs can have the energy to fight?
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_01: So we've heard this idea, your body keeps the score.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_01: And when it has the nutrients it needs, it can do the work we're calling it to do.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_01: Because when we do IFS, when we do EMDR, when we use homeopathy, right, we're calling it to release.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_01: But if we haven't been fueling it, and I think did y'all did y'all get the memo about the food pyramid getting reversed this year?
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_01: So good, right?
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_01: Fascinating, yeah.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_01: Protein, fruits and vegetables, all that stuff.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_01: But we also know our food sources have been compromised.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's like and then that's why we all end up on a million supplements, right?
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_01: Because everybody wants to sell us a solution.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's such bullshit that in order to feed ourselves, it's expensive.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like where I live, I'm surrounded by farms.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_00: And so we have all these farm stores where I can walk in and get the freshest stuff that has never had antibiotics in it, you know.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_00: But to eat that way, it is expensive.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's expensive, right?
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_00: It is.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_01: We've been watching, we've been watching the old MacGyver.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_01: It's like mostly family-friendly TV.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_01: We've been watching these episodes from the 80s, and now we're in season six or whatever, and it's like 1990.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_01: And there's this episode about a farm community, I think somewhere in California, I think, right?
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_01: But and the pesticides that they were spraying and the massive health issues that it was causing.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I know that that is still a very real issue in this country.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_01: I know they've cracked down on so much of it, um, the various pesticides, but now they're spraying something on the foods to help preserve them because to make it from the farms to the middleman to the grocery store to our home and the preservatives that they're spraying on there now, it's called appeal.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_01: That's like the brand name, A-P-E-E-L.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_01: And our bodies really struggled to digest it or break it down.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's like these forever plastics that end up in our brains and in our organs.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_01: Gosh, it's like we really, if we ate local, that would be the ideal way, right?
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so if this feels like a big build, like the solution I'm so excited about lately, that's that's because it is.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_01: The thing that I have been using lately, and I've been using it for months, and I've been waiting to reveal it because I really wanted to see how much I loved it, right?
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_01: And how much of a difference it would make.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_01: But we have been using this product called Organized.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_01: It's spelled O R G A-N-I-S-E-D.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_01: So it's made from the organs of cows, and it has all of these things in it: collagen, colostrum, beef heart, beef lung, beef kidneys, beef spleen, beef, all these things, right?
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_01: So for years I saw functional medicine doctors that often prescribed these supplements called standard process.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_01: I think they're like a lot of people have heard of them.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_01: If you've gone to a chiropractor, if you've seen a functional medicine provider, you've maybe been on a standard process supplement.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_01: And these supplements had these same things in them, but this is all in one bag of protein powder.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_01: It's like these very bespoke nutrients that I cannot say enough.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_01: So, like let's say you're you just can't bring yourself to eat, but if you had one of these protein drinks per day, your body would have what it needs to be optimized.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_01: So you remember the other day, Joy?
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_01: I came in and you were like, What'd you do different with your makeup?
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_01: You look different.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's this powder.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's the collagen in the power.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's the organ meats.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_01: I think my skin, my kidneys, like the dark circles under my eyes are better.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_01: My skin is better.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like, and I I've not had bad skin per se, like blemishes or whatever, but it's like there's a tiredness or a whatever, right?
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_02: Because my body is dullness, like a years ago, your skin would be not gray, but like you could you could tell, you could see, like there is such a tangible difference that it literally took my breath away the other day.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_02: And you didn't do anything different.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_02: Like it was I didn't do anything different.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's I've been using this for months.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_01: So I put my kid on.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_01: You do look glowy.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_01: You do look very glowy, like everyone else.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I just had this miscarriage, right?
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like it does, like, and obviously I use my homeopathics and other things, but I don't take a lot of, and I used to take buckets of supplements, right?
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_01: Like Joy will attest to this too.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you would come over, I still have shelves in the office, right?
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_01: Of supplements.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like I used to be on like 15 supplements a day.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_01: This was how I was like staying alive, right?
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_01: And so the homeopathics went so far, but it's like proper nutrition is the rest of the story.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think that one of the reasons I'm so passionate about this, also, specifically for our listeners, and this is not a paid ad, organized is not paying us to do this.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_01: We are not getting what's that called, um, consumer-generated content or whatever.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_01: We are not getting paid to do this.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I have recently become an affiliate because I'm just so freaking excited about it.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_01: But we're not getting paid to do this.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_01: This is like true, passionate.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_02: It isn't right.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_02: This isn't like a commercial for it.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_02: Like this an affiliate is so different, I feel like, than a paid advertisement.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, this is not a paid advertisement.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_01: This is like, I believe in this.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so I put my kid on it at the same time that I started taking it because she has this long history of chronic illness, also, right?
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_01: The liver issues, obviously, for sure, kidney issues, which I believe ties back to vaccine injury.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_01: But when she was like two or three, she started having interstitial cystitis where she was having to pee every 18 minutes.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_01: It was wild.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_01: And so we used a lot of those standard process supplements back then to help rehab her and all the things.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_01: And then homeopathy is what cleared the food allergies and ultimately got her nervous system more under control.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_01: But I can't imagine how many moms, tell me how many moms we have heard lose sleep over what their co-parent is feeding their kid.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_01: Over what their co-parent is feeding their kid.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_01: The sugar, the nuggets, the pizza, the crap.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_01: How many moms have we heard have weakened spleens because they're perseverating?
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_01: What the co-parent is feeding their kid, right?
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_01: So imagine when you have your kid, if you gave your kid this organized supplement, and then you could send them over there knowing that when they're with you, you gave them perfect nutrition.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_01: And that when they get back, they're gonna have perfect nutrition.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_01: And that is going to carry them.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_01: Like, can you imagine you're exhausted, you're overwhelmed, you don't want to eat a million supplements, your kid's health, but there's this one bag of goodies that gives you literally protein, the amino acids, the collagen, the all the things for both your like revenge diet and your glow-up, your health glow up.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_02: You are you are done being this drained, dull skin, like you're done with this version of yourself.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_02: You are stepping into your healthiest, brightest, most focused, and indwelled person self.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_02: Indwelled, right?
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_01: And then therapy is sticking better.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just like over moon the moon excited about this.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I can even remember looking back at that selfie too, as you guys are talking about this.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah, I looked hot, right?
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_00: Because I lost 40 pounds and I was looking tight.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_00: But if you look at my eyes, I was dead eyes, right?
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like it just, yeah, under the eyes, in the eyes, yeah.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, everything gave it away.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_01: So next month's magic drop will include a bag of organized next month's, but like in the meantime, Linkin show notes, I cannot say enough.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_01: We got our own coupon code.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_01: This is really exciting because we've never had a Deer Divorce Diary coupon code.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_01: So, but when you check out over on the organized site, you're gonna enter Dear Divorce Diary.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_01: And so I just want to say, like, as a brand, it's really a bizarre little silly thing for our team over here.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_01: But like, I'm very excited that there's a coupon code that exists in the world that says Dear Divorce Diary.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_02: And fun fact, I just um looked it up, and your first order comes with an electric whist and a water bottle for free.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_01: All right, we want to shout out our newest Harpy members.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_01: We just absolutely are loving when people join our community.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_01: It is our favorite thing.
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_01: Two of our most recent joiners, we love a joiner, are Christina and Amy.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_01: And we just want to say, ladies, welcome, welcome, welcome to the fold.
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_01: We hope you join us for Cocoon Connect.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_01: It's our free gathering for women who are going through this season of life.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_01: And just let us know how we can support you.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to our cocoon.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, if you've heard something new that lands with you today, like we hope you run with it.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_01: We hope no matter what you do, you choose to love your organs well because they are the missing link to your recovery journey.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_01: And we want to encourage you to try organize Linkin Show notes.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_01: We love you so much.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_01: Peace.