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Identity Shifts: Becoming the Woman Who Builds · Natty Unfiltered

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Every level of growth requires a version of you to be left behind.
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And that actually can feel scary. Welcome to Nadia Unfiltered,
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the podcast for moms who love their kids but know they were
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meant for more. I'm Nettie, a mom of three, real estate agent
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and online entrepreneur. And this is
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where we talk confidence, mindset, money, and building a
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life that actually feels like yours. No fluff,
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no pretending, just real conversations for women ready
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to stop playing it small now. Why identity
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shifts feel uncomfortable. So when you grow,
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you outgrow your old labels,
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your old roles, the expectations, and even relationships.
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You know, when you grow and you change the relationship, the friendships
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that you had, they might fall on the sidelines because
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your beliefs and your new you doesn't
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align with the people,
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the beliefs of the people that you were friends with
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once. And the discomfort isn't failure,
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it's just an evidence of expansion. So if
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you've ever tried to change your life and it suddenly feels uncomfortable,
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that's completely normal. Because the real transformation
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isn't, you know, always starts with identity shifts. When you
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start seeing yourself in the new light and
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you. Your identity shifts. You becoming
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a new person not completely,
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but a better version of yourself.
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And you're not just changing a habit, you're changing who you believe
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you are. So for example, if you going
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from say, I'm just stay at home mom to I'm a business
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owner, or saying I'm bad with money to I'm building financial
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independence, that shift can feel strange at
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first. It feels like you're like pretending
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to be somebody else. But that's because your brain is used to the old,
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old identity of, you know,
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being like, familiar or feel safe or even
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if it's limiting. So when you start acting like a new version of yourself,
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you start showing up online, you set boundaries,
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you change. You're charging different fees where before you
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were so afraid to raise them because you were afraid, or maybe I'm not
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good enough, or maybe I don't know enough or. Or maybe people will leave
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because I my prices went up.
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You start speaking up or you start going after your goals.
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You know, your Brian, your brain at first goes like, whoa, whoa.
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Like it doesn't recognize your new you.
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And all of that is just creates discomfort. Not because you're
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on the wrong path, but because you're stepping into the new identity
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that has become. That hasn't become normal yet.
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So every new version of you feels awkward at
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first. And people around you will start noticing
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when you are changing.
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They see this new version of You.
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So the more you show up as that person, the more natural it
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becomes to you. And that, and then one day the
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life that once felt uncomfortable will feel completely normal.
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And that's okay because I always say people
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come to your, into your life at the right time
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for right reasons. They either teach you something,
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they show you things in life, and if they're meant
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to be in your life in the long term, they will stay in
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your life. And if they're meant to just to teach you certain things,
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they will be there for a short time and they will leave. And I'm
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not saying that you shouldn't fight for your friendship, the relationships,
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but at some point, if it doesn't work
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and anything that you do is just makes it worse,
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then you just need to let it go. Because that person or
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those people, they served their purpose and they're
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no longer, they no longer have room in your life. And that's
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okay. Maybe down the line, you know,
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those people change or something changes in life and you
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guys find yourself back together. And I'm not talking about
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in the just love relationship, I'm talking about them in friendships,
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then you can entertain that
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relationship. And maybe when the person or the people
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come back in your life, maybe they come back again for a short term
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period and then that's it, you go separate ways. And that's okay.
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You know, separating who you were from who
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you're becoming is what you need to remember.
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You can honor your past without living there.
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You know, growth doesn't erase who you were, it just
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builds on it. You can't Harper, on your
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past and the past mistakes and the past. You, you need
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to acknowledge it. You need to grow and you need to move forward.
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So the shift is essential for moms stepping into
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the leadership, to being their own bosses and
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being visible. And one of the hardest parts of personal
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growth is separating who you were from
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who you were becoming. And sometimes like even I've heard,
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even sometimes my, I think my family members, like my parents,
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like, oh, you become so like outspoken.
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And you know, why, why are you like not agreeing
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with everything? And to me it was just like, yeah,
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because I've grown up, I've also become a mom and
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I found my voice. So if before I was more
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agreeable or you know, like I didn't want to have conflicts, I would just
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go along with things. I grew out of
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it and I started to stand up for myself. I would
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say things actually that I did not agree with. Not in terms of like,
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oh, you start arguing, but you know, What? Sometimes you need to put your
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foot down. Sometimes you need to stand up for yourself. Sometimes you hear
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like, oh, you need to be a bigger person. Well, how many times you're going
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to be a bigger person and how many times you're going
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to let other people walk all over you until you say, no more?
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Being a bigger person does not mean that you
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just let other people get away with
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things. And so that you always say, well, you know, I'm a bigger person.
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I would, yes, there's certain aspects and there's certain situations,
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yeah, be a bigger person. If there's an argument or whatever, you. You be
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a big bigger person and put an end to it. But in instances
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when as you are being walked all over, you're being taken advantage,
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you need to stand up for yourself and say, you know what? No more.
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I'm not going to be a bigger person anymore in
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that situation. And simple as that,
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you know, and sometimes people, they don't.
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First they have to adjust to the new you because they're
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so used to the old you. Where, you know,
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you allow people to walk all over you, where you allow. You always say
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yes to everything. And then you find your voice and you find
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what is actually you want to do in life,
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who you want to be in life. And people need to adjust to
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who. The new version of you, hopefully the better
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version of you. You know, you're like, no longer the one who played it
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safe, the one who didn't speak up, the one who stayed in her comfort
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zone, the one who didn't take big risk. And when you start changing,
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thinking bigger, setting boundaries, starting a business,
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showing up online, like I said, not everyone around
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you will recognize that version of you because it's new to them. Some people
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will expect the old you. And here you are, hey,
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here's a new version of me. And some will
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feel uncomfortable with your growth. And some may even try to
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pull you back into who you used to be. But you have to remember that
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growth requires separation. You cannot build a
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new life while staying attached to an old identity
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that kept you small. That doesn't mean you reject your
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past. It means you think that version of you for
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getting you here. And then you let her rest.
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Because the woman you're becoming needs different habits.
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It needs different thoughts, it needs different standards.
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And that's okay. Those who understand
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and those who align will stay.
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And those that need to fall off, they will.
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And that's okay. You don't need to
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wait to feel confident. You move and you let the
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confidence catch up. Identity is shaped by
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action, not affirmation. So one of the biggest myths
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about confidence is that you have to believe in yourself first.
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But the thing is, is that most of the time confidence doesn't come
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before action. It comes because of the action.
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So think about that. You need to show up,
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you need to act in order to feel confident.
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If you gonna wait until you feel ready, until you feel
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confident, until you fully believe in yourself,
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you might be waiting for forever,
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for very long time. Because believe is
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built through proof. And proof only comes from doing so.
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The more you do it, the more confident you get. The more
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repetitions you doing something, the more confident you get,
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the more videos you do, the more confident
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you get in doing them, the more if you do like, if you're afraid of
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public speaking, the more you do it, the more confident you get.
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So like when you do a video and you first, your first
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video, you post will probably feel awkward. I can tell you this because
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I've done not just one, I've done so many videos, I felt
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absolutely awkward. My brain will freeze up as soon as I
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hit press record. I forget what I was talking about.
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Where am I going? I would be 100 steps ahead
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from, from my talking points. I would post and
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I would, would not be able to look at my videos because I would feel
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awkward. I would not like the sound of my voice. I mean,
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there's so many things that I did not like because I
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lacked confidence. But you know what? I still showed up. I still, I still
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recorded videos. I remember I asked one
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of my, you know, best friends, hey, can you look at my videos
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and give me some pointers, Tell me what I need to change. Give me,
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give me your honest feedback. And I got
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it. And I started to change the
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videos. I. And it took some time because
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I needed to go through those awkward moments, through those
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awkward videos and I needed to make, make tweaks and I needed
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to make better videos. And I continue to learn
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and I continue to get better because it takes
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time to feel confident
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and you feel that and you get confident because you
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are actually showing up, you are doing it and you are
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not sitting around and waiting for, well, I'm just going to do it when I
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feel completely ready, when I feel confident, confident when I
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fully believe in myself. No, that's not going to come by you
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sitting around and waiting for it. It's going to come by you actually putting yourself
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into action and showing up day after day after day.
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The first time you raise your prices
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will feel uncomfortable because you can
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feel oh, am I going to get business? Are my clients still going
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to continue coming to me because I raise business? It's uncomfortable.
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But you, you believe in yourself and say that he you
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see all around. You go to grocery stores. I can tell you that eggs don't
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cost 3.99 anymore, okay? They're twice or triple
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that price, okay? Everybody raises their prices,
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but people still shop. Sometimes people make different choice.
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But you still, you still shop. You still buying the same brands and stuff because
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you believe in it, because you like it. But at first it's going to feel
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uncomfortable when you raise your prices. The first time you speak up for yourself,
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your voice might even shake because
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it's uncomfortable for you. You never spoken up for yourself,
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but now you start to speak up for yourself and it feels foreign to
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you. But guess what, the more you do it, the more comfortable
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you're going to get, the more confident you're going to be. So but every
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time you act, you give your brain new evidence. The evidence
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that says I can do that hard things, I can survive this,
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maybe I'm more capable than I thought. And then you'll
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see that slowly those evidence turn into
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belief. So the real formula isn't belief,
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then action and then results.
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But in reality it goes action,
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evidence, believe and then results.
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You act first and then you start to
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believe. Let's talk about teaching your kids what
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courage looks like. Because your kids are watching
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how you handle fear, doubt and uncertainty.
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Choosing growth teaches them resilience and self trust.
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So if you want to teach your kids what courage looks like, it's not about
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what you say, it's about about what you do. Again,
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words don't mean anything until unless they
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followed by action. Actions speak louder than words.
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Kids don't learn confidence from lectures. They learn it by
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watching your choices. And it's also like you go to school,
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you learn enough from school, but your actual learning comes from
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real life experiences. The kids notice if
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you go after your goals or if you constantly put them on the back burner,
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they'll see if you start something and you just give up and
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you continuously to give up, they're going to learn that, okay, when it gets hard,
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I can just give up. Or if I'm not getting the results quick enough,
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I'm just going to give up. They see if you speak up for yourself or
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if you stay quiet to keep the peace. And I'm talking about like
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when you speaking up for yourself, I'm not talking about you constantly
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getting an argument or you trying to or
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you are Trying to start fights
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with somebody or you, you know, you are trying to
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embarrass them. Kids, they notice if you try
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new things or avoid anything that feels uncomfortable.
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Courage isn't about being fearless.
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It's about taking action. Even when you are nervous,
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unsure or scared of what people might think.
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So when your kids see you starting something new, building a
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business, showing up online, learning new skills,
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or simply choosing yourself once in a while,
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you're teaching them something powerful.
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You're showing them that it's okay to take risks,
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okay to grow. And it's okay to create a life that
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feels right for them. It's okay that you
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fail. But then you pick yourself up and you start
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over again. It's okay that something's not working. You still continuing
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to follow with your dreams and your goals.
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And that lesson will stay with them long after they
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leave your your home. Because when they
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are in the house, they see you, they learn things and
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when they go away, they go to college. And then after
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college they, you know, they get their own place.
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They take those life lessons with them and you build that
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foundation when they're at home. And so
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you always have to remember is that you are the one who
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they look up to and you want them to look up to.
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You want them to know that it's okay to
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start the business, it's okay to go after your dreams
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and goals. It's okay to step into something that you don't
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fully know. Because you will learn as you go along.
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You learn through experience. You don't learn through just watching
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videos. You can learn things through videos, through YouTube
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and get some ideas what you actually learn doing.
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You learn from standing up for yourself. You learn from having your
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own voice. You learn from perseverance,
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you learn from failures. You learn
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from doing things that aren't comfortable. And you learn through action
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to be that confident,
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self loving and successful human being.
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You don't become confident and then act. You act
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and confidence follows. If this episode spoke to you,
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it's not by accident. Your dreams aren't random. They're reminders
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to keep going, keep choosing yourself and I'll meet
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you in the next episode of Nadi Unfiltered.