Latest / 7-Figure Mentor / How to Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy | Nathalie Botezatu

Transcript

How to Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy | Nathalie Botezatu · 7-Figure Mentor

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Storypreneur podcast, where the art of storytelling meets the world of business and entrepreneurship.
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: On this show, we share tips and strategies on how you can communicate your message and offer in a way that not only attracts more leads, but also helps you speak with confidence and close more sales.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: Whether you're a business owner, coach, speaker or just someone looking to up their persuasion game, this podcast is for you.
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: Join us as we explore the power of storytelling and how it can help you stand out in today's crowded market, build better connections with your customers and take your business to the next level.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: Now let's welcome your host, Devin Rodriguez.
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: Ladies and gentlemen, we have a real treat today, someone that has that I've known for over a year now, my great, great friend, nat Batizatu.
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: Oh, I hope I didn't butcher it too much.
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: We just went over this where I asked you you know Batizatu.
• 1:05
  Speaker 4: Perfect, there we go Perfect there we go Perfect.
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: Well, Natalie.
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: Natalie, thank you for being here.
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: This is, this is a podcast that I'm very excited for.
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: The reason being is there there's comes people in your life that help you during very tough periods, that really allow you to reach a new level of yourself.
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: And, for the audience's background, me and Nat know each other because I invested into a coaching program and you've been in this coaching program since like almost the very beginning.
• 1:36
  Speaker 4: No, yeah, yeah.
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, elite CEOs and she serves as a mindset coach in the community and I had been struggling for a really about four or five, six months and I started to really come to Nat's calls and no BS, I swear on anything that I love.
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: Within two to three months, my entire life was changed Right and let's like I'm sure there's some things that contributed it, but, nat, you were a huge, huge part of my turnaround and my ability to really evolve into that next version of myself.
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: So I want to say thank you very first and foremost, and I'm just super excited to have you here.
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: So thanks for coming on the show.
• 2:18
  Speaker 4: Thank you so much for having me.
• 2:19
  Speaker 4: I'm so excited for this.
• 2:21
  Speaker 4: It has been such a treat seeing you just do absolutely incredible things, and I love that you come to my calls every week so I can see your progress and so I can celebrate you, and I'm just so excited to chat with you for a little bit today.
• 2:37
  Speaker 4: Genuinely, I'm so honored, so thank you very much.
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: Of course.
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: Well, I want to start off with a question that that I think people overlook, and when it comes to mindset coaching, this is my interpretation of it.
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: If you didn't know this, nat, I actually got started as like a life coach and I'll be honest with you, it was hard, probably because I was like brand new.
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: I didn't know what the hell I was doing.
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: But the biggest problem for me was trying to make people or influence, or try to get people to see the influence or the impact that a person's mindset can have on their business.
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: So I guess, when you're thinking about working or somebody's thinking about working, when you're like I don't need that mindset stuff, I just need to do another funnel or I just need another business coach, what do you think the case would be for someone?
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: Let's say, they've done all the courses, they've been going, they've been reading the books right, we all know those people, we've been those people, I am sure.
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: So I guess, why do you think mindset coaching in specific is so important for entrepreneurs who want to go to that next level?
• 3:45
  Speaker 4: So mindset is always a part of the equation, whether you consciously recognize it or not.
• 3:51
  Speaker 4: It's there and people try to pretend that they don't need mindset work, but there is always something proceeding, everything you're doing in your business, and those things are thoughts and perceptions and feelings.
• 4:05
  Speaker 4: There's always something happening inside of your head before you create your next funnel, before you launch the next set of ads, before you write the new content or launch a new program.
• 4:17
  Speaker 4: There's always a mindset proceeding that, whether you consciously recognize it or not.
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: And a lot of people think that they just need to do, do, do more in order to achieve more, without recognizing that doesn't matter how much you do or what you do.
• 4:33
  Speaker 4: If your thoughts aren't aligned with that doing, you're only going to get so far.
• 4:40
  Speaker 4: And for the people who don't think that they need mindset support Just thoughts circulating in your head, proceeding your action, taking regardless.
• 4:49
  Speaker 4: You might as well take ownership of them.
• 4:52
  Speaker 4: You might as well cultivate them in a way that's going to support you.
• 4:57
  Speaker 4: You might as well take charge of the thoughts you're having to set your doing up that much more so that you can achieve the success even more.
• 5:07
  Speaker 4: So mindset is that missing component where people are realizing that the equation for success isn't what you do so that you can then achieve.
• 5:16
  Speaker 4: First, it's recognizing that there's thinking involved before the doing and you want to make sure that your thinking is aligned with the doing so that you can then succeed.
• 5:27
  Speaker 4: And realizing that there's more to the equation of success than just action oriented things that you're doing for your business.
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: So how does somebody know if they need to work with somebody for mindset Like?
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: What are the indicators that are like, yeah, okay, now's time, I need a mindset coach?
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: How would I know if it's time to hire someone like you or somebody in your field?
• 5:52
  Speaker 4: Chances are you've done a lot of doing and the doings didn't work how you thought it would.
• 5:57
  Speaker 4: You've just been trying so many different things, trying different strategies, and maybe you've gotten a little bit of success, but it's not nearly what you thought you would be able to achieve.
• 6:08
  Speaker 4: And so then you try something new and you try something new and then you try something you're trying to find with the thing that's going to work best for you and for your business, and sometimes for specific businesses there are specific strategies that work really well and then get you the results.
• 6:22
  Speaker 4: But chances are you've if you need mindset work, it's probably because you've tried all of the different strategies and you're still not where you want to be.
• 6:31
  Speaker 4: That's the first indication.
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: One indication is you're noticing that consciously you know where you want to be in your business.
• 6:40
  Speaker 4: Consciously you know the money you want to make and the impact that you want to have.
• 6:44
  Speaker 4: Consciously you know where you want to be, but subconsciously there's just something holding you back, and what that holding back might look like is often anxiety in your business.
• 6:55
  Speaker 4: That's really unexplained.
• 6:56
  Speaker 4: The holding back also looks like knowing what you have to do but not doing it and not knowing why you're not doing it.
• 7:03
  Speaker 4: And then another example of something that might be kind of blocking the success that you want is just noticing that you are trying to put your emotions aside more times than not and your emotions aren't necessarily regulated.
• 7:19
  Speaker 4: So often dysregulated emotions and often dysregulated nervous system is a sign that there's some inner work that needs to be done to support you in your business.
• 7:29
  Speaker 4: So those three things Well, I love it.
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: I love it and I tell you spent so much time reading books and doing all these things like really work.
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: And guys you might be listening to this and being like Devon you just can't stop talking about.
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry.
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: Okay, she just really helped with the brother out, like really it was crazy because work before working with you I've never done really mindset coaching and stuff like that, but it really.
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: One of my mentors always used to say something that he always used to say a coach is someone who can take you somewhere in yourself that you can't go by yourself.
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: And really that's what this has enabled me to do and I think one of the biggest things that you've enabled me to realize and I want you to.
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: I want the audience to live vicariously through me, because there's a lot of high achievers that listen to this.
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: Back in April, I had a really good month in my business.
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: At the time was like $25,000 in that month and I thought I was like, yes, I did it.
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: And then for the next three months I doubted myself.
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: I just like crumbled, I didn't know.
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: I felt purposeless.
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: I felt like I just couldn't do anything.
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: I felt like nobody would want my stuff.
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: Okay, went through all of that, started really coming to your calls and now I just had my biggest month ever and it was like more than three times that would what it was in April.
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: I'm kind of scared that that's going to happen again.
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: So how do I, or somebody that's listening to this that has had that time in their life where they had that massive leap, but then after the leap, it's like how do we avoid that roller coaster and instead build momentum on top of the success that we're experiencing?
• 9:12
  Speaker 4: Okay, two things no-transcript that I want you anyone who's listening to this if you've ever had a really, really great month or season in your business, you should always, always, always, always do these two things after the fact Number one, you're gonna really take stock of what did I do to create this?
• 9:33
  Speaker 4: That's the first thing.
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: Just really be very and look at the practical.
• 9:38
  Speaker 4: Practically, what did I do to achieve this?
• 9:41
  Speaker 4: And I want it to be.
• 9:44
  Speaker 4: I posted on social media, I made sure I got enough sleep, I was bold, af in who I reached out to.
• 9:53
  Speaker 4: I showed up really consistently on my sales calls.
• 9:57
  Speaker 4: Practical, that's the first thing.
• 9:58
  Speaker 4: What did I do to achieve this?
• 10:00
  Speaker 4: And the second thing that I want you to identify what did I think to achieve this?
• 10:07
  Speaker 4: Where were my thoughts at in supporting this amazing month in this amazing season?
• 10:15
  Speaker 4: Because what happens with a lot of business owners when they have a really great month, most of them don't really give themselves credit in creating it and most of them don't realize that they were truly at cause of the effect that they experience in their business.
• 10:33
  Speaker 4: And when you realize how freaking powerful you are, when you realize what you did and the thoughts that you cultivated in order to get this amazing month.
• 10:43
  Speaker 4: You can then recreate it and there's gonna be another element that we'll talk about to make sure you're creating it again.
• 10:49
  Speaker 4: But it's just really giving yourself credit, because more times than not, people think, oh, I just got lucky or oh, it just my ads landed really well this month, but I can't do it again.
• 11:00
  Speaker 4: They think it was luck.
• 11:02
  Speaker 4: Or they don't really give themselves credit because there's this thing where there's a lot of people in entrepreneurial space that are pretty cocky and pretty full of themselves and they shouldn't be.
• 11:13
  Speaker 4: But then there's a lot of people who are really freaking good at what they do and they don't wanna give themselves credit because they don't wanna be those cocky people.
• 11:20
  Speaker 4: They don't wanna be those like full of themselves type of people.
• 11:23
  Speaker 4: They don't wanna seem conceited.
• 11:26
  Speaker 4: But as a business owner, what you are doing is probably different than 99.9% of the population, so you get to really own your greatness and own how incredible you are in being able to create what you created.
• 11:42
  Speaker 4: And so for you, devin this past amazing month, I want you to make sure that you are number one, really giving yourself credit for what action did I take?
• 11:50
  Speaker 4: And number two, what mental landscape supported me in creating this, and when you recognize that you're like, oh okay, these are often the two equations to success is what you do and what you think.
• 12:05
  Speaker 4: So if I know what I did and what I, the thoughts that I had, I can just do it again and that right there you have tools in your toolbox to recreate it.
• 12:13
  Speaker 4: So those are two things that I strongly recommend everyone does, and make sure you're implementing them both.
• 12:19
  Speaker 4: Make sure you're consciously cultivating those thoughts that are supportive of recreating that.
• 12:26
  Speaker 4: And then the third piece of the equation is really looking at what is necessary in order for me to launch to the next level, and what that often entails is a mindset shift in really noticing are there parts of me that don't feel deserving of creating this again?
• 12:45
  Speaker 4: Are there parts of me that also think that creating this again or doing more is going to come with some form of sacrifice that I'm not willing to make?
• 12:56
  Speaker 4: So, almost like preemptively, before you even take the next month or the next season, full speed ahead, just really sitting with yourself and being like if I were to not create this month again, why would that be?
• 13:10
  Speaker 4: Is it because I don't think I can?
• 13:12
  Speaker 4: Because I got lucky, because I'm not deserving of this, because it has to come with sacrifice, because my perceptions of success means that I have to just do more and more and sacrifice more time with my family.
• 13:23
  Speaker 4: And so just really evaluating before you even get started and having a conversation with yourself of like hey, it's a pretty normal human response that when we grow that that's something we want, but to a part of us that's uncomfortable and we will often try and sabotage that growth simply because we're not comfortable with the growth that we're having.
• 13:43
  Speaker 4: So the third component of maintaining that new level of success is just having a conversation with yourself and working on say I'd recommend working with the coach or with the therapist and almost really just getting very clear on is there part of me that doesn't deserve that, doesn't think I deserve it?
• 14:00
  Speaker 4: I mean, can I work through that and make sure that I feel deserving of the next level?
• 14:04
  Speaker 4: And is there a part of me that feels like the next level has to come with some form of sacrifice?
• 14:09
  Speaker 4: And can I shift my perspective on that and associate continual gain with where I'm going, as opposed to associating loss in some form with where I'm going?
• 14:17
  Speaker 4: So those are the things.
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: Now, how do you identify if you do not feel worthy of that next level of success?
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: What are some signs and symptoms of that?
• 14:29
  Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.
• 14:29
  Speaker 4: First thing is ask yourself, whatever the goal is let's say it's 100K next month what's your next goal for next month?
• 14:39
  Speaker 4: Ask yourself is there any part does that feel scary at all when I say that or when I think that, or when I visualize, or when I imagine $100,000 at the end of the month?
• 14:52
  Speaker 4: Is there any part of me that's resistant to that?
• 14:55
  Speaker 4: Is there any part of me that's scared of that?
• 14:58
  Speaker 4: Consciously, we're like hell, yeah, bring it on.
• 15:01
  Speaker 4: Yes, 100k, 200k, more impact, 10 people, 20 people, hundreds of people impacted.
• 15:07
  Speaker 4: Consciously we want it.
• 15:09
  Speaker 4: But when we ask ourselves is there anything that feels any part of me that feels resistant to imagining me achieving that goal?
• 15:17
  Speaker 4: Oftentimes there is a worthiness and deserving component to almost every person that I've ever coached and it will often manifest as resistance and it's illogical, it doesn't make sense.
• 15:32
  Speaker 4: You're like, oh, that's stupid, oh, that's a silly thought.
• 15:34
  Speaker 4: But usually behind that is, there's a part of you that doesn't feel like you're worthy and deserving of what you're pursuing fully.
• 15:42
  Speaker 4: So you'll feel it and you'll try to toss it aside as silly.
• 15:45
  Speaker 4: But it's still there and it's worth working through.
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: So, nat, with all of these forms of resistance, there's so many different ways that it shows up For me.
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: Sometimes it's like apathy, it's like if I don't do anything, then it's like, whatever, I'll just continue to live, or it's maybe a part of me is that undeserving feeling at times too.
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: But how do you get yourself to do things that, like you just said?
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: You said what did I do to achieve this?
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: How do we continue to do what we have done, that brought the success, despite feeling unworthy, despite feeling the resistance and really just facing all of those things that so often drag us down?
• 16:26
  Speaker 4: Number one making a solid commitment to yourself.
• 16:29
  Speaker 4: And oftentimes I do really think that an equation to success and you know this, we talk a lot about this in the program that I coach in is you just make a commitment to do the things, even when you don't feel like doing them.
• 16:42
  Speaker 4: It's like there's I go out to dinner with my boyfriend and we stay out really late and we had a great time.
• 16:50
  Speaker 4: We probably went to some bar where they were playing kumbia music, because we both love kumbia and salsa music.
• 16:56
  Speaker 4: And then we come back home and I have a whole skincare routine and a whole like brush my teeth routine.
• 17:02
  Speaker 4: And there's so many days I'm like I just wanna go to bed, I don't wanna do it, but you know what?
• 17:07
  Speaker 4: I wanna look real nice, I wanna take care of my teeth, I wanna take care of my face.
• 17:12
  Speaker 4: So I forced myself to do it and it's because I made a commitment to myself that, hey, these are the goals I have and I'm gonna honor this commitment.
• 17:19
  Speaker 4: So there are times where we do the things that we know we should, even when we don't feel like it.
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: So I would say first thing is really just making a commitment and saying like, hey, there's gonna be times where I don't feel like it, but you know what, I'm just gonna do it, just because I know where I wanna be.
• 17:34
  Speaker 4: And the second thing is, with the resistance, with the part of us that are like the apathy, the anxiety the easiest way I guess it's not often easy, but it's quite simple the simplest way to make sure that we're still able to do what's necessary in order to achieve the next level of success is bringing along with you the part of you that's resistant.
• 17:59
  Speaker 4: Now, I know that seems a little out there and you're like what exactly does that mean?
• 18:03
  Speaker 4: So for me?
• 18:04
  Speaker 4: I often recognize that the part of me that's anxious, that wants to not take action, is often the part of me that doesn't feel deserving of my success, or it's often my shadow self or my inner child.
• 18:17
  Speaker 4: I can really grasp it as not a logical part of me.
• 18:19
  Speaker 4: There's a part of my brain that's like no, we're anxious, we're scared about success.
• 18:24
  Speaker 4: So what I do is I imagine that she's often time sitting next to me when I'm writing content and I'm hey, and I tell her hey, it's safe For other people.
• 18:35
  Speaker 4: Maybe it looks like journaling, but basically what we do is we bring along the resistant parts of us on a day-to-day basis, and it's just for a few seconds and you have a little moment of a check-in time.
• 18:46
  Speaker 4: So for you, let's say you're feeling apathetic.
• 18:48
  Speaker 4: In that moment you're checking in with the part of you that's apathetic and you're saying, hey, I know you're tired, I know you have some excuses.
• 18:56
  Speaker 4: I see you, I acknowledge you, but you know what Our goals are.
• 18:59
  Speaker 4: Bigger than this.
• 19:00
  Speaker 4: I love you, you're safe, let's freaking go.
• 19:04
  Speaker 4: And you're having a moment where, instead of ignoring those parts of you, you're actually acknowledging them, pouring into them, supporting them, loving on them and then bringing them along with you as you take the next step towards success.
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: So a lot of people say I'm just gonna ignore my anxiety, I'm gonna ignore my apathy, I'm gonna ignore my imposter syndrome, I'm gonna ignore these things.
• 19:27
  Speaker 4: But really bringing them along and acknowledging them often disempowers them.
• 19:34
  Speaker 4: But really what we're doing is we're teaching our brain a new line of thinking when we're bringing that part of us along as we then take the action.
• 19:43
  Speaker 4: And it's easier to take the action after checking in and pouring into your anxious part or your apathetic part than just trying to ignore them.
• 19:51
  Speaker 4: So, bringing them along and oftentimes what I say is kind of the number one question to ask is what does this part of me need to know in order for me to take action today?
• 20:00
  Speaker 4: So for you, I would say, what does the apathetic part of me need to know right now, in this moment, in order for me to show up?
• 20:09
  Speaker 4: And I would say, ask that every day.
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: I like that's really good.
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: So that kind of you kind of give me another question there, which is what is the question we should be asking you?
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: If an entrepreneur, ceo, wants to get to the next level, from a mindset perspective, what do you feel like is the most important question I should ask you?
• 20:32
  Speaker 4: You should ask me, or you should ask.
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: Because here's the thing from my limited perspective, I only have questions that I can answer from my limited perspective, but I'm not the expert, and I believe that the expert knows best what to ask.
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: Like, hey, if I'm hanging out with Grant Cardone, like, hey, you should be asking me how to set up a syndicate so that you can have a bunch of different people invest in real estate with you.
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: So if someone were to come to you and be like, nah, what should I be asking you so that I can get the best answer?
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: Some people say, like there's no such thing as a stupid question.
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: I definitely think there is, Because if I'm going to hang out with a billionaire and I ask him what makes you happy, I mean I don't know if that's the best question to ask.
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: So what should we be asking you so that I can get the most out of your knowledge and your expertise and your perspective?
• 21:23
  Speaker 4: Sure, first thing that I want you to ask me is I want you to ask me how, nat, how can I get to know myself more Because you kind of mentioned it before with your coach?
• 21:37
  Speaker 4: Is the coach is there to help you die within yourself?
• 21:42
  Speaker 4: Because the truth is, I do have tools that can help you, but at the end of the day, I'm here to guide you in connecting more to yourself and figuring out what works best for you.
• 21:51
  Speaker 4: So first question I would want anyone to ask me is them just a question that establishes openness to getting to know themselves more?
• 22:04
  Speaker 4: So what can I do, what can I think, what can I shift to get to know myself more?
• 22:09
  Speaker 4: And I can then give you some guidance questions so that you can connect with yourself more, because when you're connected to yourself more, then everything else becomes a lot easier.
• 22:18
  Speaker 4: So that's the first question.
• 22:20
  Speaker 4: The second question that I would want someone to ask me is how can I work through the parts of me that are scared of success?
• 22:34
  Speaker 4: So what does it look like for me to work on the parts of me that are scared?
• 22:40
  Speaker 4: Because those are the things that are really keeping most entrepreneurs from their next level.
• 22:45
  Speaker 4: Is working through their scared parts, working through their anxious parts, working through the parts of their brain that are like, nah, I don't want the success, so asking how to shift their limiting beliefs.
• 22:58
  Speaker 4: And the third question is how can I connect more to my why?
• 23:06
  Speaker 4: And I know this was a big one for you.
• 23:08
  Speaker 4: So a lot of people think that being motivated by money is going to be the thing that lights the fire under their butt, but chances are, most of us didn't start our businesses purely because of the money.
• 23:19
  Speaker 4: It was definitely a big component, for sure, for me, but there's probably a bigger why to that.
• 23:25
  Speaker 4: So how can I connect more to my why so that I'm operating, even when it doesn't feel like the money's coming in, even when the money is not motivating, I'm still going.
• 23:34
  Speaker 4: So how can I connect with my why?
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: Man, that was a good stop.
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: That was good.
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: That was really good.
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: Dad, that was good.
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: All right, which one do I want to tackle first?
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: This is really good.
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: You just man.
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: I think I want to talk about the scared, about being scared, being fearful, because I think fear is the number one reason that keeps people where they are or keeps them in a place that they don't want to be.
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: So in a business context, like for me, for the longest time it was about sending messages and you see this all at a time because of elite CEOs and the program and all this stuff.
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: Nat, how can I get better at messaging people and reaching out?
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: I don't want to feel salesy or whatever.
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: How do you reframe that?
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: Or how do you act in spite of that fear?
• 24:20
  Speaker 4: So oftentimes, the fear that you have is just the fear that your brain is signed as a fear.
• 24:27
  Speaker 4: This is something you should be scared of and it really is just a decision.
• 24:30
  Speaker 4: Your brain decides that, oh, it's scary to message people.
• 24:33
  Speaker 4: Your brain decides that, oh, it's scary to sell to people.
• 24:36
  Speaker 4: Your brain, for whatever reason probably usually based off of your upbringing or based off of what you've seen in the space that you're in your brain simply decides, hey, this is something to be scared about.
• 24:47
  Speaker 4: So if your brain decides that this is scary or this is something that you need to be resistant to or wary of, can your brain also decide something.
• 24:56
  Speaker 4: Else that's amazing Things about our brains is that we're not just robots.
• 25:01
  Speaker 4: We can change our minds.
• 25:03
  Speaker 4: That's my favorite thing about mindset work is that we can always change our minds about something and we can change our minds in a way that take us to the next level.
• 25:11
  Speaker 4: So for you, whatever it is that you're resistant to, I would say the first step is recognizing well, I decided I'm going to be scared of this, so can I undecide that?
• 25:22
  Speaker 4: Can I decide that it doesn't have to be scary?
• 25:24
  Speaker 4: Can I decide that it gets to be wonderful, that it gets to be fun, that it gets to be a win, that it gets to be expansive, that it gets to be a learning opportunity.
• 25:32
  Speaker 4: Even if I totally screw it up, can I decide something different that's going to be more helpful than my decision to see it as scary?
• 25:41
  Speaker 4: So it's really it's a pancake flip.
• 25:43
  Speaker 4: I call it like a flipping a pancake from a.
• 25:45
  Speaker 4: You're on one side of the pancake, you boom, you flip it over.
• 25:48
  Speaker 4: You think and you thought you flipped the pancake to the other side.
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that pancake method.
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: We've gone over that multiple times and that's powerful.
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: And ultimately, here's like I want you to touch on this piece the last path, the last point of the pancake method is reinforce, reinforce, reinforce.
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: So what does that look like?
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: Right, Because here's the thing.
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: Like a lot of the things that we've, the things that we fear, we've been conditioned over years to fear these things.
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: So now, if I just start saying, oh, this thing doesn't scare me no more, when I sit down tomorrow to do the thing, my heart's going to be pumping through my shirt and I'm going to be terrified.
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: So how do I?
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: How do I constantly reinforce that in a way that sticks, in a way that allows me to move forward and make true progress, rather than I'm not scared and then not doing anything for the next year?
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: Sure.
• 26:36
  Speaker 4: So mindset work is just habit development.
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: We're developing new ways of thinking.
• 26:41
  Speaker 4: Just like you want to change a habit of biting your nails, you can also change your habit of thinking different thoughts.
• 26:47
  Speaker 4: And so when you want to embody more confidence from the inside out, from a mindset perspective, chances are what precedes, that is, you have a habit of not being confident, you have a habit of thinking that you aren't equipped, that you can't do this, and so recognizing that having a new way of thinking and embodying confidence or embodying more expansive thoughts is going to be developing a habit of doing that, which takes a little bit of time.
• 27:23
  Speaker 4: And, as with any habit, sometimes a habit is acquired really quickly, whereas sometimes the habits a little bit harder to acquire.
• 27:30
  Speaker 4: So for me, I'll use an exercise example.
• 27:34
  Speaker 4: The first time I learned how to squat on a squat rack, I didn't really learn it fully.
• 27:39
  Speaker 4: So pro, so good, and so I had to learn a new way, and so I my brother actually helped me in perfecting my form, and it took a little bit of time for my body to develop a new habit of squatting correctly, and I actually picked it up really quickly.
• 27:55
  Speaker 4: But then, when I tried to develop a new habit with my deadlift, for whatever reason.
• 28:00
  Speaker 4: Every time I went to kind of like do the specific cues, it was just a little harder for me, but that's okay, it just took a little bit of time to develop new habits.
• 28:08
  Speaker 4: So it's the same with our thoughts and the same with the way that we think.
• 28:11
  Speaker 4: It takes repetition, it takes conscious choosing, and the amazing thing is that when we're consciously choosing to reinforce a new mental habit, it's often done a lot more quickly than previously subconsciously acquiring it.
• 28:25
  Speaker 4: So it's going to be a lot easier for me to perfect my squat form and do it.
• 28:30
  Speaker 4: I do that quicker than it first took me to learn how to squat in the first place.
• 28:35
  Speaker 4: So for you, with just really embodying, I'm not going to be scared anymore.
• 28:41
  Speaker 4: But then the next day, two things I recommend.
• 28:43
  Speaker 4: Number one having foundational practice, a foundational practice of reinforcing the new mental habits.
• 28:50
  Speaker 4: So oftentimes people have it as a morning routine.
• 28:53
  Speaker 4: So I have them and I give my clients this.
• 28:56
  Speaker 4: I call them truth statements where throughout the course of working together it's a normally they work with me for four months we basically create a list of what are the new mental habits that you're going to reinforce every single day for the next four months, and we add to them throughout the four months, and it really should only take a few minutes every morning, where either you're reinforcing them by reading them, writing them, saying them, listening to them or all of the above.
• 29:21
  Speaker 4: And so every single day, you're making like no matter what non-negotiable, you're reinforcing this mental habit of I believe in myself, it is safe, I'm worthy and deserving of success.
• 29:32
  Speaker 4: That's an example of one.
• 29:33
  Speaker 4: So every morning you do that.
• 29:35
  Speaker 4: I would also recommend before bed, doing it an additional time.
• 29:39
  Speaker 4: But you have it when you're doing it foundationally every single day, and some days you're going to feel great, other days you're not going to feel great, but regardless, you're reinforcing the habit, no matter what.
• 29:48
  Speaker 4: Second component is reinforcing this new mental habit as needed.
• 29:53
  Speaker 4: So whenever you sit down to go do the messaging, or you sit down to write out the new content or whatever it is that you're scared about noticing, oh, I'm feeling a little like nervous, I'm pooping my pants a little bit, and that's the moment that you're like I'm going to choose a new thought.
• 30:07
  Speaker 4: In this moment, I recognize my fearful thought, I recognize my anxious thought.
• 30:12
  Speaker 4: You know what I'm going to choose to not not take action from this place in this moment.
• 30:16
  Speaker 4: I'm going to reinforce that new thought right now and then I'm going to take the action.
• 30:21
  Speaker 4: You still might feel like you're going to pee your pants, maybe 50% instead of 70%, but with time when you do it as needed as well just a few minutes of reinforcing that new mental habit.
• 30:32
  Speaker 4: With time my brain will form a neural connection that gets stronger and stronger, reinforcing that thought pattern.
• 30:38
  Speaker 4: And then the part of our brain that was reinforcing the previous thought pattern that was maybe not as confident that one gets weaker with time.
• 30:45
  Speaker 4: So really it's just habit development, as you're developing any other type of habit.
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, so we talked about the why aspect and that was something very important to me because I mean, moved down to Southern Florida, there's a lot of nice cars, there's a lot of people that got money all these different things went out.
• 31:09
  Speaker 3: This is exactly what I told my girlfriend that I'm getting the Corvette because it's going to make me more motivated.
• 31:16
  Speaker 3: I'm not going to want to show up in a Corvette and like not be making money.
• 31:19
  Speaker 3: And I got the Corvette and I didn't.
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: It didn't inspire me.
• 31:24
  Speaker 3: I want to get rid of the thing, but I'll go negative and I can't get rid of it.
• 31:28
  Speaker 3: My hands are tied, but I say a lot of that to say like I was placing my, my thoughts of what would motivate me in all of the wrong places and what I started to realize after working with you a lot was having something to just pursue is really what brings me purpose.
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: So two questions.
• 31:46
  Speaker 3: I'll lead with one, I guess.
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: What do you tell somebody who feels like they don't know what their purpose is?
• 31:55
  Speaker 3: Right, like full transparency.
• 31:57
  Speaker 3: Like sometimes I'll be sitting there and be like, but is this aligned with my big life purpose, and I'm like I don't even know what that life purpose is.
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: So what do you like?
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: What do you recommend to someone that's in that place Like I don't know even what to do, because I know what I'm doing doesn't feel right, but I don't know what right is.
• 32:12
  Speaker 3: What do you recommend to that person?
• 32:16
  Speaker 4: I learned this from my coach Shout out to Nick Tillia.
• 32:19
  Speaker 4: He's been my coach for going on seven years now and I.
• 32:24
  Speaker 4: This was really game changing for me because I dropped out of medical school.
• 32:27
  Speaker 4: I was halfway through and I had to basically refine, just figure out who the heck I was, because I didn't fully know that, because my my mind was set on my purposes to become a doctor and I was 25 at the time and I call it my quarter life crisis and I'm grateful that I went through it at my quarter life crisis instead of a midlife crisis.
• 32:50
  Speaker 4: So I'm really grateful for that.
• 32:53
  Speaker 4: And basically, what my coach helped me in discover, in discovering was that your purpose isn't what you do, your person.
• 33:02
  Speaker 4: Your purpose is what you cultivate in terms of feelings and how you then share that with the world.
• 33:08
  Speaker 4: And so, as a society, I think we're so focused on what are you going to do?
• 33:13
  Speaker 4: And we asked this from little kids from a really young age what are you going to be when you grow up?
• 33:17
  Speaker 4: As if there's one answer, and I've been trying to not ask little children that anymore, because I think it's not fair to teach them that they need to know the answer, because I don't think that that should have to be an answer.
• 33:30
  Speaker 4: I think you get to be whatever you want to be when you grow up and that that can also change.
• 33:35
  Speaker 4: And so your purpose isn't actually what you do.
• 33:38
  Speaker 4: Your purpose is how you want to feel and then how you share that with the world, and how you share that feeling and help other people cultivate that for themselves.
• 33:48
  Speaker 4: So, for example, my purpose isn't to be a mindset coach.
• 33:51
  Speaker 4: My purpose isn't to be a wonderful, loving partner.
• 33:56
  Speaker 4: My purpose isn't to be a mom one day.
• 33:58
  Speaker 4: My purpose is to cultivate peace and joy and freedom in my life and then to teach other people how to do that for themselves as well.
• 34:08
  Speaker 4: And so first step is really redefining what does purpose need to mean, and that purpose isn't what you do.
• 34:15
  Speaker 4: Purpose gets to be how you want to feel, because we're emotional beings at the end of the day and we want to feel something.
• 34:20
  Speaker 4: That's why you wanted to get the car because you want to feel something.
• 34:25
  Speaker 4: That's why you want to build the business because you want to feel something.
• 34:28
  Speaker 4: That's why you want to travel the world because you want to feel something.
• 34:32
  Speaker 4: We do everything inspired by what we want to feel and actually realizing that your purpose is.
• 34:37
  Speaker 4: You get to access the feelings before you even do anything and then do from that place.
• 34:43
  Speaker 4: That's what your purpose is.
• 34:44
  Speaker 4: So I would first help someone identify what do they want to feel and how can you have those feelings be the guiding compass for you to then experiment with what the doing that comes with that actually is.
• 34:56
  Speaker 4: That's from there Go ahead.
• 35:01
  Speaker 3: That's why I was going to ask you now that sounds good, right, like the feeling part, I really resonate with that.
• 35:07
  Speaker 3: But then what if a person's like?
• 35:09
  Speaker 3: What if a person's like, but I just can't find the vehicle that will enable me to live inside of those feelings?
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: Does that make sense?
• 35:18
  Speaker 3: Like I know I really want to help people, love on people, but, like you know, I'm stuck in this job and I can't do that here.
• 35:25
  Speaker 3: And it seems, like you know, being a coach or whatever is so often the distance and that they're just stuck in this place where they can't express those feelings.
• 35:34
  Speaker 3: So how do we find the vehicle that will allow us to live out those feelings?
• 35:41
  Speaker 4: Number one releasing the pressure of finding the vehicle, because I don't think there's just one vehicle.
• 35:47
  Speaker 4: Number two I'm going to challenge you on saying I can't do that in my current job.
• 35:53
  Speaker 4: Chances are you can do it, even if it's just 1%.
• 35:55
  Speaker 4: Chances are you can feel more connected to the bridge that you're crossing, the place that you feel stuck at.
• 36:01
  Speaker 4: You can feel a little bit more connected to that where you are on the journey to the next thing.
• 36:06
  Speaker 4: And then step number three is just trusting that you get to be in the process that I don't think we're ever going to arrive.
• 36:15
  Speaker 4: Even me now, as a mindset coach, I don't consider that I've arrived.
• 36:18
  Speaker 4: I don't know how the rest of my life is going to look like or what the evolution of my career is going to be, and that's okay, I don't have to know that.
• 36:25
  Speaker 4: But I can really be present and where I'm at and make sure that I'm connecting with my purpose feelings on a regular basis.
• 36:33
  Speaker 4: And when I do that, even on the days that feel crappy, then I can keep moving forward, then I will feel better, then I can feel more present and connected to where I'm at.
• 36:43
  Speaker 4: So I would say release the pressure off of having to find that one vehicle, connect with how you can already embody that where you're at.
• 36:53
  Speaker 4: And then, when you feel more connected to yourself and to your purpose feelings where you're at, even though it's not where you want to be, it's going to then make it so much easier for you to decide what the next thing is and then feel more present in that, try to embody your purpose feelings a little bit more in that and then from there give yourself permission to try the next thing and make sure that you're more, you're also connected there and you're getting a little bit closer to where you want to be, but then also realizing that you're never going to fully arrive.
• 37:21
  Speaker 4: So I would say a lot of people put so much pressure on this is the thing that's going to make me successful.
• 37:25
  Speaker 4: When I first started coaching and also Tanner and I we were in a health coaching program together and we were both fitness coaches at one point and everyone's like fitness coaches could be the thing that makes me successful.
• 37:39
  Speaker 4: And I was like how about we release the pressure off of that and you just give yourself permission to be on your own journey?
• 37:44
  Speaker 4: And then I branched off to mindset coaching, tanner went off to business coaching and we're both at really wonderful places in our lives because we released that pressure off of finding the vehicle and really just gave ourselves permission to be in the process.
• 37:58
  Speaker 4: And also, even though you're not where you want to be today, that's okay.
• 38:01
  Speaker 4: You can feel a little bit better about it and grateful for it, and then it'll make it so much easier for you to then find the next thing.
• 38:08
  Speaker 3: That's good.
• 38:09
  Speaker 3: So two, two, two questions, first of which is when do you know, or how do you know, when it's time to quit, when it's time to quit something that maybe served you at one point, whether it's a business relationship, whatever the case may be.
• 38:26
  Speaker 3: But now it, like you always hear it never give up.
• 38:29
  Speaker 3: You only fail if you quit.
• 38:30
  Speaker 3: But sometimes I feel like it's a good thing to quit.
• 38:32
  Speaker 3: How do you know when it is time to quit?
• 38:38
  Speaker 4: Number one thing that I would say that it's time to quit when leaving is the ultimate win-win for all parties involved.
• 38:49
  Speaker 4: So for me, when it was time for me to quit medical school, my biggest resistance was like what is my family going to think?
• 38:58
  Speaker 4: What are they going to say?
• 39:00
  Speaker 4: I think I lost my marbles and they totally did.
• 39:02
  Speaker 4: I thought I was just not well and I knew that it was time to quit medical school.
• 39:11
  Speaker 4: I was halfway through finished my first round of boards, like technically, third year is supposed to be easier than the first two.
• 39:17
  Speaker 4: Everyone's like what are you doing?
• 39:18
  Speaker 4: I was like it's time for me to leave because it really is a win for me, for my family, for my friends and for the world to do so.
• 39:28
  Speaker 4: So when you find the win for all parties involved, chances are that's a pretty good time to move on to the next thing Find the win for everyone.
• 39:39
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 39:39
  Speaker 3: Now that brings up another question how do you know if it's time to quit or if it's just your mind playing with you, if it's that negative mindset where things are just hard, you feel crappy one of those days.
• 39:56
  Speaker 3: How do you know if it is truly time to move on from something, or if you're just in a funk, or if you're just in a state of anxiety or depression, whatever?
• 40:04
  Speaker 3: How do you decipher those?
• 40:07
  Speaker 3: Because I feel like sometimes it could just be such a constant battle.
• 40:09
  Speaker 3: It's like do I stay or do I go?
• 40:11
  Speaker 3: Do I quit?
• 40:12
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 40:13
  Speaker 3: And then what happens is, most of the time, you just stay in the middle of the road and you don't do anything, and you don't go anywhere and you just stay stuck.
• 40:19
  Speaker 3: So how do you make that decision?
• 40:24
  Speaker 4: How do you make that decision?
• 40:26
  Speaker 4: How do you make that decision?
• 40:27
  Speaker 4: How do you make that decision?
• 40:30
  Speaker 4: Gentle, soft, nudging and also a little scary, whereas anxiety and anything that's maybe not from a the best place, like maybe a limiting place, something that might not be the best decision, usually comes with indecision.
• 40:47
  Speaker 4: It's loud, like whenever I'm like is this my intuition speaking, or is this my fearful self, my ego speaking?
• 40:54
  Speaker 4: Usually ego fearful self is loud, it's like, sounds like in my head and whereas my intuition, my true self, is like it's a soft nudge.
• 41:04
  Speaker 4: It's like, hey, this is gonna be good for you.
• 41:05
  Speaker 4: I know you're pooping your pants right now, but like it's gonna be really good for you.
• 41:10
  Speaker 4: And it's soft and it's gentle.
• 41:12
  Speaker 4: So we can discern between that and this is where a coach comes into and comes in handy big time Is.
• 41:22
  Speaker 4: A coach is gonna help you sort through that indecision.
• 41:26
  Speaker 4: A coach is gonna help you align with what really is ultimately best for you, depending on the season of your life, and a coach is gonna help you figure out what is best for you, because not that the coach knows that or a counselor knows that, but you know that, but you don't know how to find that within yourself.
• 41:43
  Speaker 4: You don't know how to connect with that within yourself.
• 41:45
  Speaker 4: That's when a coach helps you to sort through those thoughts, sort through the fears that are causing the indecision, work through the different egoic thoughts that are coming in and help you feel a little bit more grounded so that you can then make a decision when feels best for you.
• 42:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I love that.
• 42:01
  Speaker 3: The nudge that's been very true in my journey is that little, that whisper that doesn't leave you alone.
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I totally hear that one.
• 42:09
  Speaker 3: You said earlier.
• 42:09
  Speaker 3: You said sometimes we have to realize that where we were yesterday or where we are today is like a little step forward from where we were yesterday, and recognizing that and being able to celebrate that.
• 42:20
  Speaker 3: So one of the things I try to ask myself, because I don't know the answer to this, because there's two parties.
• 42:25
  Speaker 3: One party says you experience a win, and then you just act like nothing happened and you continue to move on because you don't wanna live in the past.
• 42:32
  Speaker 3: And there's another camp that says no, you wanna pause for a second, you wanna enjoy, you wanna celebrate, and then you can move on.
• 42:38
  Speaker 3: So, number one, what would you recommend to somebody that has experienced a good month, a good day, whatever?
• 42:44
  Speaker 3: What type of celebrate?
• 42:47
  Speaker 3: How do I celebrate?
• 42:48
  Speaker 3: I don't know how to celebrate.
• 42:49
  Speaker 3: I haven't celebrated in so long.
• 42:51
  Speaker 3: I don't know how to.
• 42:52
  Speaker 3: And then why should I?
• 42:56
  Speaker 4: So celebration gets to be different for every single person.
• 43:00
  Speaker 4: And the point of celebration is I don't want you to do it just cause I'm telling you to do it, cause you hear other people do it.
• 43:08
  Speaker 4: The point of celebration there's a scientific component and I'm gonna super oversimplify it, but hopefully you guys get what I'm trying to say here.
• 43:17
  Speaker 4: When we celebrate, we're actually allowing our brain to secrete small amounts of dopamine, and those small amounts of dopamine then support us in increasing focus, having energy to move on, to keep going.
• 43:34
  Speaker 4: And so when we take a hot second to celebrate the small wins and the big wins, we're teaching our brain to secrete small amounts of dopamine, which allows us to fuel a different inherent form of motivation that most people don't access.
• 43:49
  Speaker 4: Most people think, oh, it makes me weak if I'm gonna celebrate the small win that I have today.
• 43:53
  Speaker 4: No, it makes you a little bit of a ding dong, because you could really capitalize on some scientific amazingness right now and really kind of use your brain in a really profitable way to just celebrate for a second and keep moving on.
• 44:09
  Speaker 4: I mean, the choice is yours.
• 44:10
  Speaker 4: We could choose not to, but it's gonna help you to keep going, even when you don't necessarily feel like it, or even when you feel like it's just luck.
• 44:17
  Speaker 4: So there's a scientific element to celebrating, and it can look like whatever allows you to just connect with your accomplishments and your achievements.
• 44:27
  Speaker 4: You don't have to go out and buy another Corvette.
• 44:30
  Speaker 4: Maybe one day you might want to cool.
• 44:35
  Speaker 3: Why are you making fun of me now?
• 44:36
  Speaker 3: Why are you making fun of?
• 44:38
  Speaker 4: me, I'm not.
• 44:39
  Speaker 4: I'm actually saying you get to really have whatever desires you wanna have, and I'm someone who I actually got a Camaro it's my first big girl car three years ago and I went through a similar experience with you where I was like, wait, it's not that special, and so I'm actually getting rid of it next year because I just I walk everywhere.
• 45:00
  Speaker 4: I don't need a car.
• 45:01
  Speaker 4: It's really nice and it was kind of a little bit hyped up, but anyway, you can have the two Corvettes and so celebrating for you can look unique and I would say what just allows you to really sit in what you've created?
• 45:14
  Speaker 4: Maybe it's giving yourself a hug, maybe it's just sharing your win with your girlfriend and being like, hey, I'm just gonna celebrate really quick and I wanna celebrate with you.
• 45:23
  Speaker 4: And also, in this moment I'm celebrating myself and I'm just gonna tell myself I'm really proud of myself in this moment, like holy cannoli, what an amazing month.
• 45:31
  Speaker 4: Good job, devin.
• 45:32
  Speaker 4: It could be as simple as that, or it could be a nice meal, or it could be my boyfriend and I.
• 45:38
  Speaker 4: We go on bike adventures.
• 45:39
  Speaker 4: We go on bike adventures to celebrate.
• 45:41
  Speaker 4: So it's going on bike adventures Like this is celebrating my next big month.
• 45:45
  Speaker 4: It could really look whatever you want, but really there's a scientific component where we're teaching our brain to secrete small amounts of dopamine.
• 45:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I like that.
• 45:52
  Speaker 3: That's really cool, man, this is such a good conversation.
• 45:56
  Speaker 3: I do got a couple more questions.
• 45:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah, let's go for it.
• 46:01
  Speaker 3: Okay, I'm gonna try to see.
• 46:03
  Speaker 3: I think that the biggest, one of the biggest problems that I've had is probably already touched on this a bit, but I don't know where it comes from, so I need your help.
• 46:16
  Speaker 3: Sure, a lack of consistency when you'll do something for a week, you'll tell yourself, I'm gonna do it this time, and then a week later, you're back to eat in the donut, you're back to not sending them messages, you're back to not calling your mom, you're back whatever.
• 46:33
  Speaker 3: Where do you like?
• 46:34
  Speaker 3: How do I identify what my lack of consistency really stems from?
• 46:41
  Speaker 4: So first thing is really identifying what's my definition of success.
• 46:49
  Speaker 4: This can be in regards to business, or health or relationships.
• 46:53
  Speaker 4: What is my definition of success and what do I think is necessary in order for me to get to where I wanna be?
• 46:59
  Speaker 4: Cause oftentimes this is a common thing in a couple of the coaching communities that I teach in is we're like I have to send 100 messages a day if I wanna be successful.
• 47:11
  Speaker 4: Is it true that only the people who send 100 messages a day are successful?
• 47:16
  Speaker 4: No, there's people who are sending 10 messages a day and are making 20, 30 K months like really crushing it.
• 47:23
  Speaker 4: And so really evaluating what's my definition of success and is the definition that I'm holding on to actually true and actually what I think is necessary?
• 47:34
  Speaker 4: And oftentimes, when we do think that only sending 100 messages a day is going to get me successful, you do it for a week, but really you're a single dad with four kids and there's you can't send 100 messages a day simply because of your schedule, and so you're going to be burnt out and then you're not going to be able to get it in and you're not going to be able to do what you need to do for your business because you decided this is, or someone else told you this is what's necessary for success.
• 48:00
  Speaker 4: And so I would say first thing is really evaluating what do I think is necessary for success, and is it really doing this to the point of exhaustion?
• 48:10
  Speaker 4: Is it really waking up at 3am and only getting four hours of sleep a day?
• 48:14
  Speaker 4: Is that really necessary?
• 48:15
  Speaker 4: And some people, like my boyfriend, can operate on five hours of sleep a day.
• 48:19
  Speaker 4: I envy him.
• 48:20
  Speaker 4: I'm not one of those people.
• 48:21
  Speaker 4: I you know this about me I sleep nine hours a day.
• 48:24
  Speaker 4: I need more sleep, and that's just me.
• 48:26
  Speaker 4: And so my definition of success includes sleeping nine hours a day.
• 48:32
  Speaker 4: And when I was pushing myself to only sleep four or five hours a day, I was very inconsistent because my definition of success was not aligning with a lot of what my body cycle physiologically needed in order to function.
• 48:47
  Speaker 4: So, definition of success evaluate that.
• 48:51
  Speaker 4: That'll help with really getting on board with consistency.
• 48:54
  Speaker 4: And then second definition, or second thing, to really make sure that you're being consistent with with your action taking is really looking at similar questions.
• 49:07
  Speaker 4: The last time and I asked this a lot, you probably noticed this on my calls is, if you were to be consistent.
• 49:14
  Speaker 4: What's on the other side of that and what's scary about the other side of that?
• 49:18
  Speaker 4: So, for example, you're like I want to hit 100K this month and you're like, but I'm really inconsistent with my action taking.
• 49:24
  Speaker 4: Chances are there's a part of you that's scared of actually achieving the 100K or comes with some form of loss, and so we need to work through that.
• 49:32
  Speaker 4: And then it usually is a lot easier to be consistent with action taking when we're fully on board with where we want to go.
• 49:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm kind of experiencing it now.
• 49:40
  Speaker 3: I guess a lot to it's a lot to fulfill on.
• 49:43
  Speaker 3: I've had like a lot of new clients and, to be honest, it's like, all right, I know we're going to do it, but it's like, okay, now I have to hire people, now I have to train them Now, oh God, now I'm going to have to wake up earlier and I have to do all these.
• 49:57
  Speaker 3: And it's like kind of makes me sometimes like, is it worth it?
• 50:00
  Speaker 3: So what do you, what do you recommend when that voice comes up of?
• 50:04
  Speaker 3: Is it worth it?
• 50:08
  Speaker 4: Well, you get to.
• 50:09
  Speaker 4: You get to always decide.
• 50:12
  Speaker 4: That's an amazing thing about being your own boss is every day you get to make a decision and so every day you get to decide if it's worth it.
• 50:19
  Speaker 4: So it's really up to you to decide if it's worth it or not, and every day you get to wake up and make that choice, which I think is an honor and it's a gift to be able to make that choice.
• 50:28
  Speaker 4: But then also, as your own boss, you get to.
• 50:32
  Speaker 4: You get to really make sure that you're being really intentional with how you want to structure your day and what you think is necessary to keep moving forward.
• 50:41
  Speaker 4: So you having a really great month, you probably achieved it one day, but you probably learned a lot from it, and so you don't necessarily have to.
• 50:50
  Speaker 4: Maybe you want to wake up a little early to make sure you have to give everything done, but maybe you don't necessarily have to do that, so you can tweak that and really be intentional with how you're doing things, moving forward, with spending time with your clients, with making sure that you're getting different things done and and continuing to run your podcasts and all of that.
• 51:10
  Speaker 4: So just with being in this adjustment period, you get to decide if it's worth it.
• 51:16
  Speaker 4: But also, being your own boss, make sure that you are also taking care of yourself and really just being intentional with how you move through things and how you structure things.
• 51:26
  Speaker 4: Again, going alongside that, defining what's my definition of success and am I sticking to that?
• 51:32
  Speaker 4: And then, another thing that I would add is whenever you have this has helped me immensely and has helped so many different people that I've coached is in these moments of being like, wow, this is a lot, is this worth it?
• 51:44
  Speaker 4: Ask yourself this question If I knew that everything was working out in my favor, how would I show up today?
• 51:50
  Speaker 4: And that makes it easier to move through the tough stuff.
• 51:54
  Speaker 4: When we see that, okay, this is all working out in my favor, I get to choose to see it in that way, and so I don't have to be resistant of the extra early wake up.
• 52:06
  Speaker 4: I don't have to be resistant to spending a little extra time with some clients because I'm even though I'm exhausted, we can.
• 52:13
  Speaker 4: When we really see everything is working out in our favor.
• 52:15
  Speaker 4: Then it makes it so much easier to show up and for it to be worth it.
• 52:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, now this has been one of the most action packed episodes that I've had in five years in terms of like specifics.
• 52:29
  Speaker 3: I'm like, oh my goodness, like I gotta go listen to this again with like I need to transcribe this highlight.
• 52:35
  Speaker 3: It's incredible.
• 52:35
  Speaker 3: But one of my last questions to you, nat, and then this this will be the last question that I have for you is in entrepreneurship, sometimes we get so consumed by the business and we sacrifice a lot.
• 52:48
  Speaker 3: Sometimes.
• 52:49
  Speaker 3: I know I certainly do.
• 52:50
  Speaker 3: Holy crap, that's a cool water bottle, by the way.
• 52:52
  Speaker 3: I thought that was a foam roller for those of you, that, for those of you that are listening on pot, unlike Apple podcasts or Spotify, go to YouTube, check that out.
• 53:00
  Speaker 3: But it consumes us.
• 53:04
  Speaker 3: And sometimes I don't give the time to my girlfriend like she deserves.
• 53:07
  Speaker 3: Sometimes like it sounds terrible, but like I'll look at my phone and I'm like damn, that person's calling.
• 53:13
  Speaker 3: Like I'm just like, how silly are you to think something like that?
• 53:18
  Speaker 3: Like it's because you're in the middle of typing a document, like the document can wait, right.
• 53:22
  Speaker 3: So that's one portion of it.
• 53:24
  Speaker 3: So two-parted question.
• 53:25
  Speaker 3: That is first Number one how do you not allow this to consume you?
• 53:30
  Speaker 3: And then number two.
• 53:32
  Speaker 3: Building on that, what I've realized for me is like the only thing I think is fun is, this is like the business thing.
• 53:40
  Speaker 3: I don't know what fun is anymore.
• 53:42
  Speaker 3: So how do I number one, like I was saying, like how do I not let it consume me and just take over my whole life?
• 53:50
  Speaker 3: How do I rediscover what's fun for me?
• 53:56
  Speaker 4: Number one way to make sure you're not consumed by your business is making sure that you're still connecting with yourself and your business in your business and outside of your business, Because if something supports you, it supports your business.
• 54:09
  Speaker 4: I know a lot of.
• 54:10
  Speaker 4: There's a lot of talk of like prioritizing money-making activities and, yeah, that's important, but also prioritizing yourself so that you can show up more powerfully for money-making activities is also really important.
• 54:24
  Speaker 4: I think we need to do.
• 54:25
  Speaker 4: We need to do both and whenever we really make sure that we are pouring into ourselves, we can see that as directly benefiting our business, because you're running, we are running.
• 54:38
  Speaker 2: I'm running, I'm the business.
• 54:39
  Speaker 4: I'm running it, so if I'm supported, then my business is supported.
• 54:44
  Speaker 4: And so for me, even though I do spend most of my time coaching and working on my business, I make sure that I have time set aside with my boyfriend and sometimes things get rescheduled and moved around because I get invited to coach really cool people and that's okay, but then we reprioritize it.
• 55:04
  Speaker 4: But really seeing how putting in foundational things that support you is actually also really good for your business.
• 55:11
  Speaker 4: It's not taking away from your business.
• 55:13
  Speaker 4: Time away, time with your girlfriend is not taking away from your business.
• 55:16
  Speaker 4: It's actually adding to your business Time for you to have fun in whatever way.
• 55:23
  Speaker 4: That means.
• 55:23
  Speaker 4: Whatever that means for you, that's also for your business because it's supporting you.
• 55:27
  Speaker 4: For me, pre-pandemic, I used to salsa dance four, five times a week.
• 55:33
  Speaker 4: It was insane.
• 55:34
  Speaker 4: I would go out with social dancing and I would just dance for hours and hours and hours.
• 55:38
  Speaker 4: It was my exercise, it was my mental health routine.
• 55:42
  Speaker 4: It was so much for me and I kept saying, oh man, like you shouldn't go salsa dance, you should be writing content, you should be doing more of that, you should be doing more of that.
• 55:50
  Speaker 4: But, man, the first time I ever had my 5K month.
• 55:55
  Speaker 4: It was like my second year of business.
• 55:57
  Speaker 4: First time I had a 5K month was the month that I salsa danced the most and I was like wait, I'm onto something here, because I felt supported, because I felt energized.
• 56:07
  Speaker 4: I was so excited the next day, hopping on my calls, I was just more me, more that.
• 56:13
  Speaker 4: And so the way that you start figuring out what are the things for you, what are the fun things for you, is oftentimes it's very simple.
• 56:21
  Speaker 4: So think about what did you used to love to do as a kid.
• 56:24
  Speaker 4: Our inner child is still within us, so I would connect with what did you used to love to do as a child and try to do a little bit of that.
• 56:31
  Speaker 4: But then also just whatever really pours into, whatever makes you.
• 56:38
  Speaker 4: You try and do that, and it can be a fun workout class, it can be a walk, it can be whatever makes you more.
• 56:46
  Speaker 4: You try something like that, and it could be driving your Corvette.
• 56:51
  Speaker 4: For me it's driving.
• 56:52
  Speaker 4: I live in LA and right along the oceans, driving my car right up and down the ocean, that's like that's fun for me.
• 56:59
  Speaker 4: I love that.
• 57:01
  Speaker 4: That's so wonderful, and so it could be whatever makes you more you, whatever makes you feel connected to you.
• 57:06
  Speaker 4: I would recommend doing that.
• 57:08
  Speaker 4: Anything comes to mind for you, devin, when I say those things, I'm curious.
• 57:12
  Speaker 4: I would love for you to have like I'm not trying to coach you, but like a little bit, I would love for you to kind of have one or two things that you can redefine for you One of the things I like, and I'm like really hesitant to do it, just cause, quite frankly, I always get hurt when I do it, like physically hurt.
• 57:28
  Speaker 3: Like I love playing basketball, I always get hurt when I do it, but I gotta put like a helmet on me or something.
• 57:35
  Speaker 3: I mean that's one thing, but let me ask you like, what about like video games or something like that.
• 57:39
  Speaker 3: Like, when I think of video games, I'm like oh no, like that's evil, but I loved, I used to love to do it.
• 57:45
  Speaker 3: So, like, should I not think of them as like the biggest distraction of all time and will detract from my business?
• 57:52
  Speaker 4: So I know that people kind of like Devin eyes of video games and like watching Netflix and stuff like that.
• 57:59
  Speaker 4: But, really it's the same as, like re, I read fantasy books, so why would reading a fantasy book be any different than watching a fantasy movie?
• 58:08
  Speaker 4: And people aren't demonizing reading for pleasure.
• 58:11
  Speaker 4: They actually see it.
• 58:12
  Speaker 4: It's all based.
• 58:13
  Speaker 4: Going back to earlier combo, it's what you decide it means, and so some people have decided to make video games mean something, and I think a lot of people use video games as like an escape to not do what they need to do.
• 58:26
  Speaker 4: But we also use food in that way.
• 58:29
  Speaker 4: We also use TV in that way.
• 58:30
  Speaker 4: It's not necessarily just video games.
• 58:32
  Speaker 4: So I think if you love video games and that brings like great joy to you, then I think you get to trust yourself to have some fun playing video games and then see that as wow, that was really fun.
• 58:44
  Speaker 4: Now let me go ahead and do some work, and then you look forward to the next time you get to play video games and you're really focused and intentional with your work, and I kind of so.
• 58:52
  Speaker 4: Actually, I have not shared this to really anyone except for my brother and my boyfriend, so this is like top secret information, but I didn't mean to like keep it top secret.
• 59:01
  Speaker 4: I used to play video games in middle school like a lot.
• 59:04
  Speaker 4: I'm a big nerd, I love like fantasy stuff and I'm a big Harry Potter fan.
• 59:11
  Speaker 4: Anything with dragons assigned me the F up and I didn't play video games for over a decade.
• 59:20
  Speaker 4: And the new Harry Potter Hogwarts legacy came out and I was like yo, shut up, I need that.
• 59:28
  Speaker 4: And my inner gamer was like I need to buy a PS4.
• 59:32
  Speaker 4: I need to buy that game.
• 59:33
  Speaker 4: And so six months ago I bought myself a PS4 and I bought Hogwarts legacy and I also bought Crash Bandicoot.
• 59:42
  Speaker 4: I used to love Crash as a kid and I've been playing video games a couple of times a week and I've noticed that I around like the half hour mark, I'm like okay, I'm good, and then I go back on with my life and it's been so fun and exciting to connect with my inner child playing video games, to connect with just like the part of my brain that loves imagination, loves magic, loves exploring and just having that moment where I'm just like my phone's in the other room, I'm kind of just like disconnected from the world and I'm able to just play video games for a little bit and I, similar to you, was like wait, I shouldn't do this, I shouldn't play video games.
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 4: It's a waste of time, blah, blah.
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 4: And I was like no, I'm deciding that this is to be so fun, this gets to be so wonderful.
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 4: And I will say, if we really look at it, since I bought my PS4, I've actually made more money in my business to help more people than ever.
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 4: So maybe it was because of the video games, maybe it wasn't, or maybe it was just more because of I'm honoring myself, I'm prioritizing myself and out of my business and I'm connected to myself and that's what matters most.
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so this is your sign to go buy a PS4, start playing Hogwarts.
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 3: I love it, I love it.
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 3: That's some great, great advice and thank you.
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 3: This has been an incredibly awesome conversation that I am very grateful for.
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 3: Being able to be coached by you every week is truly an honor and a privilege.
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 3: And really where I want to end off with man if I never say this when people are on here, but listen, I'm going to say this if you do not pay Nat Botezatu to be your coach, you are crazy.
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 3: So if you are an entrepreneur and you guys I've never said this before if you are somebody that is really looking to elevate and go to the next level I've been being coached by Nat for a year now and just to give you some real results, like in that time period, I've went from zero dollars in my business to over $75,000 in my business, and largely in part to Nat's mindset coaching, because I had all of the tools, all of the tactics, all of the information, but there was something within me that stopped me from taking action and implementing it all, and I swear on anything that I love that it was only when I started showing up every Thursday, asking questions, listening to the calls, really just being present with you, that things really started to take off and I was able to just see more clearly and identify, reconnect with my desires, reconnect with my purpose.
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 3: And I remember one of the exercises that we did together when it was like I think it was something on the lines like, imagine you're on a mountain and someone brought you like a bag of money or something like how does that feel?
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 3: I was like, oh, I didn't really feel much, and then you just did this whole exercise where it enabled me to really reconnect with what it was that fueled me, really, what it was that drove me forward.
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 3: So if it wasn't for you, I genuinely don't believe that I'd be able to kind of be in this position that I'm in.
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 3: So, guys, I say a lot of that.
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 3: To say Nat is as real of a deal as I have ever experienced.
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 3: So, nat, if somebody is listening to this and they respect me enough to take my advice, where can we reach out to you?
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 3: What do you want the audience to do to contact you, to work with you, because they need to do that.
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 4: Thank you so much for all of that.
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 4: It means so much to me that you've had such an amazing experience, and if anyone else also wants to learn from me and be supported by me, they can follow me on Instagram.
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 4: It's Natalie Botezatu, that's my handle, n-a-t-h-a-l-i-e-b-o-t-e-z-a-t-u, and on my Instagram and I'm sure you're also gonna you said you're gonna link some of these in the notes I have a free mental health reset guide and then also is gonna be linked a page where you can see testimonials of previous clients as well as submit an application to work with me.
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 4: So I would say those are kind of the three ways that you can start learning from me some free resources, following me on Instagram.
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 4: And then if you would like to reach out to submit an application for one-on-one, we can hop on a call and honestly, it's not really even a sales call, it's just a conversation to see how I can help and to maybe point you in the direction of one of my courses.
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 4: Or if it's one-on-one coaching, we can look into that as well.
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 3: Nat, I appreciate it.
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 3: This has been an incredibly fun episode.
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 3: Thank you for sharing your wisdom, knowledge and expertise, expertise, expertise with the audience.
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 3: I'm truly grateful for it.
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 3: We gotta do a part two sometime, but for now, man, I can continue to go on forever, but thank you for being here today and sharing all of your greatness with us.
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 4: My pleasure.
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 4: Thank you so much for having me Devon.
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 1: Thanks for tuning in to the Story Prenuer podcast.
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 2: We hope you enjoyed the tips and strategies shared today under feeling inspired to take your storytelling to the next level.
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 1: My friend, it's time to share your messages in a way that enables you to stand out from the crowd, have a massive impact and dominate your industry.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 2: All it takes is having a story and knowing how to deliver it Before you go.
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 2: We'd really appreciate it if you share this episode with a fellow business owner who you know needs to become a Story Prenuer.
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 1: Thanks for being part of our family and we'll catch you next time.