Latest / Billy The Kidd In The Morning / New Dirty Little Secret:My Wife Thinks It’s "Dr. Pepper”

Transcript

New Dirty Little Secret:My Wife Thinks It’s "Dr. Pepper” · Billy The Kidd In The Morning

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This is dirty little secret.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: I got your chance at one thousand dollars coming up next.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: I'm mixed one or two point nine. The things I
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: have to deal with behind the scenes. What you should
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: have heard what Canna said literally ten seconds before you
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: go on the air, because we're wearing flip flops tomorrow.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: Because we were talking about how it's a big ich
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: if men wear flip flops, and I was like, let's
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: see how it feels somehow who and I'll wear them?
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: And then Canna says to me, let's go ahead and
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: say what you said to me to say seconds before
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: he went on the air. You were talking about how
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: some men's feet are nice and some probably aren't.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: And I was just like, I.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: Hadn't seen your feet in a while, but I remember
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: what they looked like because you had a pinky toenail
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: that was weird.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: Or something it was missing or painted off or right,
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: you know what?
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: Not right?
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: You know you're so mean. No, I'm not trying to
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: be mean.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: Why are you attacking my toes? I wasn't hang on.
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: You said, my feet have changed over the years and.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: That's why we all changed. Candice, Well, I know, but I.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: Hadn't That's why I thought, well, I haven't seen your
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: feet and probably fit teen years.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: Why would I see your feet? I don't know. Why
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: wouldn't you.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: We've been buy at a pool together some You've never
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: looked at my feet.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: We've been at the pool in years. I haven't been
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: barefoot near No. It socks on you, just socks. You
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: feel like we don't even know each other. We went
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: on a Disney cruise and I didn't see your feet.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah you didn't look. No, we didn't go to the
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: beach together.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: And real quick about my pinky toe. It's something I'm
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: very insecure about. Matter of fact, I'm gonna go on
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: Amazon today and I'm buying one of those little toe covers.
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: If you have a.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: Wonky toe, yeah you know, well you could put the
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: toe cover over it and makes it look normal. You
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: could even match your skin tone. Wow, because wow, because
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: I don't have a pinky nail.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: It's not that big. It's not that big. It's a
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: tiny tone pink. It's a tiny toenail.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: Well, yeah, okay, you your pinky to therapy.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: You know what you need? New feet?
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: Doctor Chrisky who your feet literally look like cadaver fee
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: feet look like you've been walking in Walmart barefoot for
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: three months.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: They look like dead people, feel Are we sure want
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: to do this tomorrow?
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: You know they have teeth whitening. Do they have toenail
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: because your toenails are a different shade.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: No, they're not that bad player. Come on now, we'll
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: get them pettied up. You know that. Hey, you know what,
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: there's not enough paint. There's not enough manual labor today
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: that he needn't get one. I'm not doing it. I
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: haven't had a pedicure. What do you know, I haven't
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: had a pedicure in years. Just get a get a
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: leap press on and just put it. Know what that is,
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: the fact that you know what it is is alarming.
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: So tomorrow no pedicures were coming in flip flops, no manicuring.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: It is what it is.
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: It is.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, you promise, I'm not gonna do that pinky toe. Promise.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: I had to do it with canvas because yours shut up.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: Dirty little secret is on.
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: If you got one eight three three seven eight seven
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: one o two nine, it doesn't matter what secret is.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: Maybe it's the fact that you're whatever your toenail's gone.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: You have a tiny toenail. Can just can't stop laughing
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: about this. It's so funny to me. Reminds me that
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: song Tini Dnswer only tiny toenail. Sir, you have a
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: dirty little secret. It's a is it a good one?
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: What is it?
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: It's actually a funny secret. Okay, it's actually funny, is it?
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: And I'm keeping it from my wife?
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: So okay, a funny secret. I don't know if she'll
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: think this is funny, but that's okay, go.
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: Ahead, No, no, no, she won't she, you know, lady,
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: she's just been on me about my my drinking. And
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: when I mean drinking, I'm not, you know, I'm not.
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: I'm not. I'm not cleaning up and closing the bar down. Okay,
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: I'm not. I'm not that guy.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: Okay, however, you know, I just I just be.
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: Having long days and I just want to fruit bruise.
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: You know how they say, Okay, see you have a
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: few beers after work.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: She doesn't like that.
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And it's it's it's almost like where she's almost
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: counting them, you know.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: So at the end of the.
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: Week she's like, oh, you had fifteen, Oh I'm sorry,
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: seventeen beers this week, honey, it's like what we like.
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: Come on.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: So she's on to you because she's saying, I mean,
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: I guess she's right.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: If you have a few beers every night, yeah, it
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: adds up, It does that up. But I don't do that.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: I know a lot of guys do though, a lot
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: of guys have to work to have a beer. I don't.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: I don't do that. Pooh does that. He's a Lockwood
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: distillery and has a few beers, a beer, maybe a drink.
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, beer, drink whatever. But you do it every night.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: She said stop it. So you obviously were like, hell, no,
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: I'll never stop. No.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: I'm sure you didn't.
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: Say that, you know. Of course I put my foot down.
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: I said, look, I'm a grown man.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: So you said, you're not gonna stop drinking.
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: In every other so way of a word, Yeah, without
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: getting on the couch every night.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: Okay, what's the what's the secret? I'm nervous, right.
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: So I went on Amazon, you know how you're googling stuff, man,
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: and I found uh like covers, you know, like Doctor
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: Pepper seven up. You know, it goes right over the can.
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: It's like a beer cozy almost.
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: Okay, but it says doctor Pepper.
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's it, says sprite, Doctor Pepper. And
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna say you right now, it's the best thing
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: I ever purchased. I mean, I couldn't wait for it
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: to come in the mill.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: So wait.
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: So she okay, I have seen these because people I
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: see people do this sometimes it's sporting events or whatever.
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: She slide the cover over the beer can and it
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: looks like a doctor Pepper.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: Can now you with me?
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: Me no way, so she.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: Liten.
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: I feel like I'm working for the CIA. This is
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: the whole operation, and I'm keeping it going.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: Baby. So she thinks you're just slamming doctor Pepper.
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, She's like, oh honey, I love how you
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: just you know, you're you're cutting back, You're doing this.
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: I don't know it's worse a Doctor Pepper or beer,
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: but either way, that's hysterical.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: I'm surprised she doesn't smell it. Yeah, that's a good point.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: She doesn't smell it. I would.
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: No, I'm a married man. I'm not getting action every
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: day like we're kids. So it's it's not like he's
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: coming over smelling my friend.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: Just by talking to you close. I think that's funny.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: So she doesn't even get close enough to you to
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: smell you.
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: Listen, he gets content over there on her thigh. Her
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: cow has her own little palk.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: I'm in my own little recliner.
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: Mary's life sounds all. Is this what married life is like?
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: It really is, Cannise. I mean, wow, day to day,
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: day to day, meaning like there's something.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: I have a kid, So yeah, I know, so right,
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: But I'm saying so you might never get close and
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: smooth up on Eric.
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: No.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: I always am close enough to him to smell if
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: he's been drinking. Yeah, well cannas, is you gonna know?
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Letten, Letten, everybody win, he wins.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: I went all right, so you're gonna keep doing it.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: She's like, oh, this guy's doctor. Now it's gonna be like, honey,
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: you're drinking too many doctor peppers.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: We need to check your insulin. Yeah.
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: The only person to know is the damn dog.
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: This guy gets so happy drinking doctor peppers. God, he's
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: on a sugar high. He's stumbling. All right, Well, you
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: know what, that's an innocent secret. It's nothing too crazy.
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: But there you go.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: You'll be fine, all right, she'll be fine. No, but
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: if she finds out, you won't be