Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / Launching Your Kids And Caregiving For Your Parents with Leslie Fhima & Cindy Cullers: Will You Accept This Advice?

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Launching Your Kids And Caregiving For Your Parents with Leslie Fhima & Cindy Cullers: Will You Accept This Advice? · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This is the Almost Famous podcast with iHeartRadio. Hi everybody,
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: it's Trista. Welcome back to the Almost Famous Will you
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Accept this Advice Podcast? I'm really excited about my guest
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: today because I feel like they are going to be
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: able to help me personally and hopefully all of you
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: or some of you or most of you out there
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: with the advice that I'm asking, and that's advice that
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: is very particular for my age, for my situation in life,
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: and I feel like they are going to be able
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: to shed lots of light and help me get through
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: this part of my life. So I'm really excited to
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: welcome Leslie and Cindy from The Golden Bachelor. Hi, ladies,
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: how good?
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: How are you?
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: I'm good. Cindy. We haven't met yet, and I know
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: you reached out to me DM you were in Denver,
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: and my gosh, as I know that you both can relate.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: This season of life is just so busy, having a
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: senior and a junior in high school, and you know,
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: obviously all the other things in life that are happening.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: So I'm so sorry that I never got to meet
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: you in person, but thank you so much for being
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: here today.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: We will do it sometime soon.
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: I was there for less than twenty four hours anyway,
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: so oh, we'll do it.
• 1:23
  Speaker 4: We'll do it again, okay, Leslie.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: So before we get into it, I know that you
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: recently shared an update about your osteoporosis and we'd love
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: to hear how you're doing and how you're dealing with that.
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, I've been diagnosed for five years, but.
• 1:39
  Speaker 5: And it was kind of getting better, you know, and
• 1:42
  Speaker 5: then I had my dexis gan and oh my gosh,
• 1:46
  Speaker 5: it was bad, like worse than when I started. And
• 1:50
  Speaker 5: I've been taking these polio shots for five years, so
• 1:53
  Speaker 5: I was kind of distraught. I was really upset about it.
• 1:56
  Speaker 5: And yeah, so it's coming.
• 2:00
  Speaker 4: Time, though, are you like, are you in pain? Are
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: you feeling it?
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: It's I don't feel pain good. I don't feel pain.
• 2:08
  Speaker 5: I mean, you know, every time I fall, I break
• 2:10
  Speaker 5: a bone, and that's happened in the last for I've
• 2:15
  Speaker 5: probably broken a few bones in the last five years.
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: Elbow be my hop being one of them.
• 2:21
  Speaker 5: Right after the show actually, and I need a surgery
• 2:25
  Speaker 5: on it, and you know, so I I'm very careful
• 2:29
  Speaker 5: and you know, I'm so active, so I have to
• 2:32
  Speaker 5: literally watch every step I take.
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: I don't feel.
• 2:35
  Speaker 5: I mean, once in a while my back will hurt
• 2:37
  Speaker 5: a little bit because it's in my spine mostly, but
• 2:40
  Speaker 5: I don't. I'm always trying to work on my you know, posture.
• 2:44
  Speaker 5: Obviously my pilates helps and all that, but you know,
• 2:47
  Speaker 5: I'm just I'm listing weights. I'm doing everything right. But
• 2:51
  Speaker 5: you know, my mom died so young. She probably would
• 2:55
  Speaker 5: have had it if she hadn't died so young. But
• 2:58
  Speaker 5: so it's hereditary, the doctor said, especially with someone like me.
• 3:01
  Speaker 4: So got it, got it.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm thinking about you and hoping you stay safe
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: and are able to find some ways to cope. Yeah,
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: thank you both for being on today. We're talking about
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: helping me with empty nesting. I am right.
• 3:19
  Speaker 4: On the cusp.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: Max is going to be graduating from high school this
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: year and Blakesley next year, and gosh, it is overwhelming
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: my emotions and life, and so i'd love to touch
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: on that, as well as touching on kind of when
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: that role reversal happens and you start taking care of
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: your parents so you become parents to your own parents.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: So i'd love your insight in all of this. But
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: before we get started, I'd love for you guys to
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: share all about your children. Obviously, we you know, we
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: have an hour to talk, you know, for this podcast,
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: so I'm sure you would go on and on and on,
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: but share of your children, how many children you have,
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: how old are they, and then also your parents if
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: they're still with us, and you know their ages, if
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: you're okay to share all of that.
• 4:10
  Speaker 4: So Cindy, why don't you go first?
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: So I have three daughters, and like you, two of
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: them are one great apart and then two and a
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: half years down, so I experienced that boom boom, but
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: I still then had one left at home. But having
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: those two like so close in age is a blessing
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: and a curse. And then I have a mother who
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: is incredibly active and alive, and a stepfather who passed
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: away of pancreatic cancer about eight years ago now and beloved.
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: He was absolutely my beloved. But for me, my grandfather
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: lived to be one hundred and five and three quarters.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: One hundred and five and three quarters.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: I love it, this is crazy.
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  Speaker 3: Then his wife, my grandmother, lived to be ninety nine
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: and had macular degeneration since she was sixty, so she
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: was pretty much blind since she was my age and
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: lived another forty years, and then both of their mothers
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  Speaker 3: lived to be one hundred and two. So you know,
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: the longevity thing in my life, God bless is very strong.
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: But I have dealt with my stepdad's cancer and his
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: passing and my grandfather's passing.
• 5:20
  Speaker 4: Of course amazing. That is wow. I mean, those are
• 5:24
  Speaker 4: some good genes, you know.
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: Oh yes, But I meane even with that, you still
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: have you know, you, stuff still happens, you know, stuff
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  Speaker 3: will happen.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, okay, Leslie, tell us all about you,
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: your peeps.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: I have three kids.
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  Speaker 5: Zach he's going to be forty, which blows my mind
• 5:46
  Speaker 5: in a few months. And then Chloe's going to be
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  Speaker 5: thirty five, yeah next month and May, which is a
• 5:51
  Speaker 5: week away. And then Eli is thirty two. So I
• 5:56
  Speaker 5: have those, and then I have four grandkids. I just
• 5:59
  Speaker 5: had my forrest little grandbaby. She's adorable. She's not even
• 6:03
  Speaker 5: two months old. Her name is Georgina. We're calling her Gigi.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so cute.
• 6:10
  Speaker 6: I know, what's your grandma name, Glanma Glama, Yeah, grandma cute.
• 6:19
  Speaker 6: You know, everyone's like, how did they come up with that?
• 6:21
  Speaker 6: I'm like, no, no, no, I forced it.
• 6:23
  Speaker 5: You know, every they're growing up, I'm like, give grandma
• 6:27
  Speaker 5: kids Glanma loves you, like I just interjected the word
• 6:31
  Speaker 5: every time I could it. So but they love They
• 6:34
  Speaker 5: call me glam or Grandma because my oldest grandson is
• 6:38
  Speaker 5: almost thirteen, which is weird, and then my granddaughter's eleven,
• 6:42
  Speaker 5: and then my little grandson is almost five, and then
• 6:46
  Speaker 5: I have the newborn. So my life is full. I
• 6:49
  Speaker 5: don't have parents. I was, I guess you could say
• 6:52
  Speaker 5: an orphan at twenty five. My dad died when I
• 6:54
  Speaker 5: was sixteen. My mom died when I was twenty five.
• 6:57
  Speaker 5: But my aunt surely was like you know, kind of
• 7:03
  Speaker 5: the matriarch of the family, and she lived in ninety seven,
• 7:07
  Speaker 5: so I did have her in my life and she's
• 7:10
  Speaker 5: an amazing She was an amazing woman and I just
• 7:13
  Speaker 5: adore her. She's the mother of my three boy first cousins,
• 7:17
  Speaker 5: so we all grew up kind of like siblings. And
• 7:20
  Speaker 5: my father. You know, my father died when sixteen, so
• 7:23
  Speaker 5: my brother Stuart is like my always been like my dad.
• 7:28
  Speaker 5: At twenty two years old, he took that role over.
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  Speaker 5: He walked me down the aisle twice. Was always it
• 7:37
  Speaker 5: was his job.
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  Speaker 2: He did it rose in the case, he followed me
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: on dates.
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  Speaker 5: He's there for me to this day for anything I need,
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  Speaker 5: So I don't. I mean, of course I missed my
• 7:48
  Speaker 5: parents every single day, but I did. I'm so lucky
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  Speaker 5: to have my brother Stuart. I have another brother, Robbie,
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  Speaker 5: and he's also amazing, but Stuart really took that role.
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  Speaker 4: So I was like, you have that, yeah, amazing.
• 8:02
  Speaker 6: I love.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, So do you guys remember remember when you first
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: had to I keep trying to use the word launch.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: You know, it's better than say goodbye or have your
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: kids leave you.
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: Ah, it's none of that. Well, let's listen to the
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: joy that you just heard from us talking about our
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: kids at this stage.
• 8:25
  Speaker 4: That's true, right, And just like when.
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: They were little, they were tommers and babies and they
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: were so cute, and then then they grew up and
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: they were equally as fabulous, and they're going to continue
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: to be equally fabulous fabulous with each chapter. Just rest assured,
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: and just remember the love that you see from us
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: about our kids. And you know, their generation ahead of yours.
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  Speaker 3: It's going to be Okay. There's some strategies that you'll
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: need to implement that will make you happier and away
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: will make them happier. There's a part of your daughter
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: get Max leaving and thinking oh, I'm going to miss Max.
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: Another part of her thinking, oh no, all the focus
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: is going to be on me.
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: She probably loves that, though, well some short of it.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah no.
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  Speaker 5: But you know what, Trista, I can honestly say, if
• 9:18
  Speaker 5: you ask each of my children who their best friend is,
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  Speaker 5: they're all going to say me.
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  Speaker 1: So.
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  Speaker 2: They didn't.
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  Speaker 5: They didn't when I launched them or when they were teenagers,
• 9:30
  Speaker 5: but you know, they're literally all in their thirties now,
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  Speaker 5: but they will all say me.
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  Speaker 2: So. Then it's a whole different stage.
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  Speaker 5: You know, you do have best friends, you have your
• 9:42
  Speaker 5: you know obviously you're always going to be a mother.
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  Speaker 5: But it's like, you know, Cindy was saying, it's this
• 9:47
  Speaker 5: stage and this stage and this stage, and you need
• 9:49
  Speaker 5: to look forward to the next stage.
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  Speaker 2: And you know it's all good and.
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  Speaker 5: All the stages are good, and all the stages are hard.
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  Speaker 1: I know, I'm just I guess I'm just so in
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: it that you know, the biggest question for me, and
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: I do have so much self doubt that I'm dealing with,
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: not only because they are launching soon and they are
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: my purpose in life. So it's just, you know, coming
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: to grips with the fact that my purpose is going
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: to be changing. I don't know what my purpose is anymore.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: So that's like, you know, of course in the back
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: of my mind. And then and then just menopause and
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: my god, the stupid emotions just all in it, the
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: roller coaster you freaking go through, and it just I
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: was actually telling my daughter last night. We kind of
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: had a we had a big chat last night, and
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: I was like, anytime I'm emotional about anything, whether it's
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: you know, seeing a baby picture of Max and just
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: losing it because I'm like, God, my baby, whatever, it
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: is just highlighted ten times worse because of menopause and
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: because of the you know, the hormonal stuff going on
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: in my brain so and in my body.
• 11:09
  Speaker 4: So it's just really hard.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: So I love that you have gotten there, and so
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: many you know, friends of mine are at that same
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: place where they're at a really happy place, their kids
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: are great, they're thriving.
• 11:20
  Speaker 4: Whatever.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: I just need to know how to get there, so
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: you'll get there. So how can I get past that
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: that worry and listen? I wrote a book about gratitude,
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: so I know all of the things about you know,
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: focusing on the positives. It's just really hard when you're
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: when it's easier to believe the bad stuff. And the
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: devil on my shoulder is just squawking like constantly, like
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: you suck, you're a bad mom, and you're gonna lose
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: your children.
• 11:50
  Speaker 5: You know, No, the worry is never going to go away.
• 11:52
  Speaker 5: I mean my kids again, they're in the thirties. I
• 11:55
  Speaker 5: still sleep with my phone next to my ear. I mean,
• 11:58
  Speaker 5: you know, in the middle of the night, what.
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: If I call? What if they call it?
• 12:01
  Speaker 5: Like, it's just that's where mothers where it's in innate
• 12:05
  Speaker 5: in us. You know, like that's never going to go away.
• 12:07
  Speaker 5: We just have to learn how I feel to control
• 12:10
  Speaker 5: it better. And I feel like you do so much.
• 12:13
  Speaker 5: You know, you're active, and you keep your mind going,
• 12:16
  Speaker 5: you play maj on, you do all these things.
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: You are the og of vaccin nation.
• 12:21
  Speaker 5: I mean you seem you know, like but like I know,
• 12:26
  Speaker 5: the menopause thing is really tough. And now and they
• 12:30
  Speaker 5: and they're together, that is that's hard. It's very hard
• 12:34
  Speaker 5: not gonna lie.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: Well.
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: It feels like such a loss right with him leaving.
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: It's a it's a weird loss. We're excited for them,
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: but there's a part of you that leaves with him, right,
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: and there's just that emptiness there. And it's the best
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: job we've ever had, is to be a mother. Best job.
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: So I had a little strategy.
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: I have two strategies that I use that were repetely helpful.
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: One I started doing when the kids were little, and
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: I would basically January first. I'm not a big New
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: Year's resolution person, but I would do a timeline and
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: do like January, February, March, and blah blah blah. And
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: I would put in all the tournaments, all the dance competitions,
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: all the family vacations, spring break holidays, and I would
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: look at their year and then I would live the year.
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: I would try to go back and live the year
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: from their perspective. So Sarah, she has a soccer season
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: and then it kind of dips down and then she'll have,
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: you know, then I see Caroline having something. How is
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: that going to feel for Sarah to know that the
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: attentions on Caroline is or something I could put in
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: there for Sarah, and I live the year through each
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: of my kids, and then I look at it from
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: a family perspective. I encourage you to do that for
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: him as he started. Now that the summer is going
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: to be weird, he's going to want to spend as
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: much time with his friends as possible. Then you've got
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: it's going to go by fast school starts, believe it
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: or not. Thanksgiving is going to feel fantastic, but it's
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: right before Christmas break, so thanks having him home for
• 14:03
  Speaker 3: Thanksgiving is kind of a loss. You've got to maybe
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: live the year starting now and live it through both
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: of the kids and for you guys too, and kind
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: of look at how that eear feels and don't put.
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: Too much time between that contact.
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: And then maybe you sprinkle in and say, you know,
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: Valentine's Day, make sure I get a package in the
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: mail to him and put it on your calendar. Put
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: a package in the mail, get a you know, a
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: pre final you know, send of nuts and snacks and
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: funny stuff. Go find something from his room, stick it
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: in a box and send it to him and say,
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: bring this home with Thanksgiving. But I knew you might
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: want to have it right now, just have you know,
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: just kind of live the timeline from each of the
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: kid's perspective and then you'll for me it just I mean,
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: maybe it was helping me feel more in control. But
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: my job is to watch not just how they're raised,
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: but to watch their hearts. Right, And so when you
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: live their year, you're protecting, you know, you're kind of
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: gaining control over. How is it going to feel for
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: him to be gone? How's it going to feel for
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: Blakely when he's gone? How is he going to feel
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: for you know, all of you guys, And how can
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: you manage that timing when his parents weekend? What are
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: the football games you can go to? What are the
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: spring things you can make an excuse to say, hey
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: instead of spring break and spring break with his friends
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: during college? You know, maybe you create a really awesome alternative.
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, to be healthy with the family. You're playing that
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: trip to Polize? Where's he going?
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: Just so, we just got back from Montana and he
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: had a couple of schools on his list from there,
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: and after seeing the schools and then all and nothing
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: wrong with these schools. They are beautiful schools, but I
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: feel like it was down to those Utah and Colorado
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: and he's.
• 15:52
  Speaker 4: Going to go to see you.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: So he's literally going to be like an hour away.
• 15:57
  Speaker 5: Yes, So because when my younger I went away to college,
• 16:01
  Speaker 5: he literally was Everyone's like, are you sad?
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: He's two exits down from me?
• 16:06
  Speaker 5: Like literally like it was literally five miles away to exits.
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: So you know, I.
• 16:15
  Speaker 5: Didn't really get the full Oh Eli's gone, you know,
• 16:18
  Speaker 5: I mean, yes, you.
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: Know, I know.
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: I mean I will I will say I don't want
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: him to get caught up in how close he is
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: to home. I want him to I want him to
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: fully experience.
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: That's what I can say. I don't you don't have
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: to come home money, you know, just I want.
• 16:36
  Speaker 4: You to come home every now and then.
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: Like we were talking about it, and I'm like, if
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: you get sick, if you feel like you're just homesick
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: and you want to come home and sleep in your bed, yeah,
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: and you want a home cook meal, like, come home
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: and we'll baby you. I'll do your laundry, you know,
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: we'll get you snacks, whatever, you can go for a
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: bike ride with your dad whatever.
• 16:56
  Speaker 4: So I love that.
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: He's going to be close, but I also you know,
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: just want to make sure or that he does protect
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: his heart and his experience and he doesn't you know,
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: come home too often. But that is a really good thing, Cindy.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: I loved your advice and kind of looking at that
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: my I remember being at college and my stepmom was
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: really good at sending care packages, and that could definitely
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: be something that kind of gets me through because I
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: feel like that still taps into my purpose of, you know,
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: being this woman who has dedicated her life to her children.
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: And so yeah, definitely, and I love that you said
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: putting something from their room in it. I just thought, like,
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: you know, homemade cookies or whatever, you know, like you
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: said something funny, but I would love I love the
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: little part about putting something in his room, especially a.
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: Little Pokemon s had these Pokemon figurine, you know, something
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: like that. And then don't underestimate it. I mean, Amazon
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: is great and we could ship so much stuff now
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: and it makes it so much easier than it did
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: back for Leslie and I. But honestly, it's that handwritten
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: note because yeah, they will gravitate. I have a certain
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: way that I signed my name and my girls are like,
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: you know, if you if something ever happens to you, mom,
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: we all want to get a tattoo with that heart
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: and a cross and a sea. Like it's just it's iconic.
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: So just don't forget, you know, the importance of having
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: something handwritten, even if you just drop a note, doesn't
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: have to be Yeah, you're so inten.
• 18:30
  Speaker 4: All about that.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: In our house, we actually we have I have post
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: it notes, like pretty much all over my house. My
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: best friend from home was at my house one time
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: and she's like, what are all these post it notes?
• 18:40
  Speaker 4: And it's literally like.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: Just Ryan and I like writing I love you or
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: you know, I missed you or whatever. We whatever we're writing.
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: But we're big like that. Yeah.
• 18:50
  Speaker 5: I went into my daughter's work the other day and
• 18:51
  Speaker 5: she wasn't there, and I'm like, you got this, Chloe,
• 18:53
  Speaker 5: you got this, you know, a little MoMA, you know,
• 18:56
  Speaker 5: and then.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: She's like, oh my god, I love yeah.
• 18:58
  Speaker 5: So I'm I'm like, that's I think it's really important
• 19:01
  Speaker 5: that we they know that we have their back no
• 19:04
  Speaker 5: matter where they are, what they're doing, what time of day.
• 19:07
  Speaker 5: As long as you know they know that we're always
• 19:09
  Speaker 5: there for them, you know, I think that really.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: Helps Honestly, you gave me an idea, Like, because he's
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: so close, I would just I would want to go
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: and find his car on campus. Like maybe I'll put
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: an AirTag in his car, not to be like stockersh,
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: but like so that I can find his car on
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: campus and be like and leave a little note or no,
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: not just that, but.
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: Have him put his laundry in the trunk. Go get
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: his laundry.
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: And then.
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: That's a great idea.
• 19:41
  Speaker 5: I love it.
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: Nobody knows.
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: Nobody knows, like he's not going home to Mama, you know,
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: like we want him. We need him to grow up
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: to be a fine independent man. We need him to
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: be that, and we don't want to abrupt it, but
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: we kind of want to soften it. If he's having
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: a hard week, the wrong with mom, I going up
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: and putting something in his trunk.
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: Oh, there's never anything wrong care of you.
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, well, I mean it's I love that you're
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: thinking about him. I think I love that you're thinking
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: about the family and how to keep the family also close.
• 20:16
  Speaker 3: But I want to help you keep your heart. So
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: I have one more strategy. This is just for you.
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: If you're have you ever played bingo, right, Yes, the
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: binger card and they call a number dot dot dot,
• 20:29
  Speaker 3: so you can go online and print a bingo card
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: a blank one so it's five rows of five and
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: the middle one is a freebie, right okay. And I
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: want you to write down all those things that you
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: want to do with some spare time. You want to
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: learn flower arranging you or what you want to I
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: want to I want to do a care package for Max.
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: I want to have a date night with my daughter.
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: I want to have a date night with Ryan. Whatever
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: you want to have on that. I want to learn
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: how to play pick a ball. I want to host
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: a party. I want to find twenty four things and
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: put them on the bingo car. Now I'm so competitive,
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: Like if I if it were up to me, I
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: would put the five most likely things in a row
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: so I can get a bingo right away. So I
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: like how to put them on pieces of paper, water
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: up and draw them so that they were more random.
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: And then for me, I wasn't just looking for a bingo.
• 21:26
  Speaker 3: I ended up going for a blackout, but have like
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: something like if I can get a bingo, I get
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: to whatever, Go get a manicure, go to whatever. I
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: have a bingo car because it will keep you moving forward.
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: It will keep you looking at your goals, and some
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: of them will still be those mothering goals. We just
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: can't help it. We never will get out of that,
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: but some of them will be for you.
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: I love it. That's such a cute idea. I feel
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: like giving back to yourself, you know, and it's a
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: really physical way of look at that.
• 22:00
  Speaker 5: I've always been a huge reader, but like you know,
• 22:04
  Speaker 5: when your mom and you got all this stuff going on,
• 22:07
  Speaker 5: I could never read.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: And then when they're out.
• 22:09
  Speaker 5: Of the house, I read all the books I wanted
• 22:12
  Speaker 5: to read, you know, like stuff like that, because now
• 22:15
  Speaker 5: I have the time. I never had the time where
• 22:18
  Speaker 5: I wanted to read at night, but I'm exhausted and
• 22:20
  Speaker 5: I'm falling asleep before they are.
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: You know that kind of things. Yeah, read a book
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: was one of my bingo blocks. They read a.
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: Book, okay, yay, okay, good. Or I try a new restaurant,
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: learn how to make oh my gosh. That's definitely one
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: of the things that.
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, for you, people like you, you're gonna be like,
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: write another book, like you're special.
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: Because I have a thing you want me to do.
• 22:43
  Speaker 5: Yeah, learning pick a ball is not one of them.
• 22:46
  Speaker 4: Maybe maybe one of your.
• 22:48
  Speaker 5: Swear should be teaching Leslie how to play pickleball better.
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: That you are great. Actually, oh, it's so fun, Cindy, Cindy, Cindy,
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: it's so fun.
• 22:59
  Speaker 4: You'll have to come to our pickleball tournament when we
• 23:01
  Speaker 4: have it. You're almost famous.
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: But so yes, I actually played pickle with Max a
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: couple of weeks ago and he's like, I want to
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: get better, and I'm like.
• 23:10
  Speaker 4: Oh, this makes me so happy. That's what I'll do.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: I'll say, I'm just gonna go to see you one
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: day and we're gonna just play pickles day. Yes, Okay, Okay,
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: you guys are giving me life.
• 23:25
  Speaker 4: I love this.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: Okay. So when you guys went through it launching your kids,
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: is there anything that you did to like cope with
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: the change? Like did you book a vacation, did you.
• 23:47
  Speaker 4: Buy a new dog?
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: Did you like, are there anything I need to fill
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: that void? Did you go on were you still married
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: at the time or if you were single, were you like, okay,
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: I'm getting back on the dating scene, Like what was
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: the coping?
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: I was a single mom.
• 24:08
  Speaker 5: So when Eli left two exits down. I was like,
• 24:15
  Speaker 5: you know what, it's my time. Now, it's my time.
• 24:19
  Speaker 5: And you know, I did maybe date a little bit
• 24:22
  Speaker 5: more or maybe had a few relationships like that, but
• 24:27
  Speaker 5: I felt like it was my time. And that was
• 24:29
  Speaker 5: very helpful to me because it kept me busy and.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: I felt like I was doing something for myself.
• 24:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, that's good.
• 24:39
  Speaker 3: My marriage, my marriage was in crisis when my oldest
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: left and then the next year, very next year, the
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: second one left and I still had the young one
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: at home and we were still going through it. And
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: I didn't file for divorce until my youngest was a
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: senior in high school, and I thought that.
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: I was like, I'm going to wait till she's gone.
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: And my therapist was for two years try to convinced
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: me to do it earlier. He's like, why would you
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: go through a divorce while your daughter is in a
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: new place have her go through that transition too without
• 25:09
  Speaker 3: any support. So as far as it was, yeah, I
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: decided to make that decision and pull the trigger while
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: she was a senior in high school. So, you know,
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: there's a lot of moving pieces in the family. And
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: as that or mom and me, I wanted just to
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: make sure everybody all my plates were spinning, you know,
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: keep all the plates spinning, and you know, you add back.
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: But at every stage of all three of us live,
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: you know, just amazing lives, and we always try to
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: level up and we're always looking for the next way
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: to become better.
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: It's no different.
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: It's just the same thing as when they went to kindergarten. Now,
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: how do I spend my time? How do I live
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: this chapter as holy and as fully and as elevated
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: as I can? And yeah, at this stage, for me,
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: it started a occurring to me more than ever that
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: my kids. I have three daughters, right, and I'm a woman.
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: They're going to start watching me, and they learned how
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: to be a mom, they learned an option be a mom.
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: I'm sure they'll tweak some things, but they'll watch me
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: as a as a woman now and how I live
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: my life. So I need to make sure that I'm
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: living that life as best as I can. So as
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: this transition happens, you're going to just continue that this
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: is how you've always lived, right, It's just going to
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: be the next version of you.
• 26:34
  Speaker 5: And because I have two sons, they you know, they're
• 26:37
  Speaker 5: like I want to find a woman like you mom.
• 26:40
  Speaker 5: I you know, because I have been honest. I have
• 26:42
  Speaker 5: been there for them anytime, any time of day. They
• 26:46
  Speaker 5: know that they can always call me. So you know,
• 26:50
  Speaker 5: it's as important with daughters, it's just as important with
• 26:53
  Speaker 5: sons because you want to launch them knowing that, you
• 26:57
  Speaker 5: know what, there's really good women out there and you're
• 26:59
  Speaker 5: just you'll mind it.
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: But we want to be that example.
• 27:03
  Speaker 3: So yeah, yeah, And I always made I always wanted
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: to make sure that my nest was the most fabulous place,
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: like coming back to see me.
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: I'm so selfish.
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: I'm really I do this so selfishly, Like I want
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: them to be so happy when they're back in my
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: present cooking.
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: You're never going to get cooking like this.
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: Right, exactly cooking or what we do, or just the
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: vibe or like just you know, just having those things.
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: And someone told me about this time that there are
• 27:33
  Speaker 3: two different type of memories for all people. One is
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: a core memory. Two types of core memories. One is
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: a repetitive memory. Those holiday traditions that you have every year,
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: like we make canchetapasta for or holiday or whatever the
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: way that you celebrate birthdays. Those repetitive things. That's one
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: type of core memory. The other type is a novel memory,
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: something completely new that they've.
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: Never done before.
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: And so think about how you can continue those core
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: memories with the repetitive ones, and think of some novel
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: ones to throw in there, you know, so that your
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: years don't fall together the kids, Like Mom, when we
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: took your I had a this is a really good one.
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: I had a thirtieth anniversary of my twenty ninth birthday,
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: so instead of turning sixty, I had a blowout trip
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: on my fifty ninth birthday and I called it something crazy,
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: and so it was completely novel.
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: That's on the novel side.
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: And so my kids remember the year that we took
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: the trip, and that doesn't press into all the Christmas
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: memories that were the same, right, does that make sense?
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: So just for sure you think about core memories, think
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: about them for yourself, for your family, for each of
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: the individuals. And I loved learning that. I thought that
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: was really helpful.
• 28:59
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I know you trust that you probably have made
• 29:02
  Speaker 5: a million memories with their kids. I bet you've done
• 29:05
  Speaker 5: gosh the same. Like every Valentine's Day. I used to
• 29:08
  Speaker 5: give the kids a bag and we'd always go to
• 29:11
  Speaker 5: Chinese food. I mean stuff like that, you know, now
• 29:14
  Speaker 5: they wanted to do with their kids and that like
• 29:16
  Speaker 5: you know, so I'm sure you've done a million of
• 29:20
  Speaker 5: those knowing I mean.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: Not, I definitely I wish that I could say that
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: I have done that kind of stuff. I mean for Christmas, yes,
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: but I feel like more so the kids have. We've
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: gone on trips or experiences like Blakesley and I were
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: just at the Heart Radio Music Awards, and you know
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: that definitely will be for memory for for us. Travel,
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: I feel like with my kids always resonates, So I
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: would love to continue that. Did you guys do like
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: after they launched? Is that something that you did with
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: the kids? Did you continue to travel when.
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: They were Oh?
• 29:59
  Speaker 5: I didn't have the wherewithal to do that, but now
• 30:03
  Speaker 5: I do so now Like I went on the Disney
• 30:05
  Speaker 5: Cruise with my son Zach and my two oldest grandchildren
• 30:09
  Speaker 5: and we've gone to you know, snowboarding, and we'd like, like,
• 30:14
  Speaker 5: my whole thing right now is making memories with them,
• 30:18
  Speaker 5: and so I get to do that now with them.
• 30:20
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we did one on one trips with the kids
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: when they were younger, and so I would take one
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: of the kids. My ex husband would take one of
• 30:29
  Speaker 3: the kids, not at the same time, but we would
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: and then the next trip that I had, I would
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: take another kid and he would.
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: You know, we would swamp out.
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: And so those were really special to have that one
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: on one time with just one kid, especially when you
• 30:44
  Speaker 3: have multiple kids.
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: That was really nice. And they don't have to be big.
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: We could go down to Waco and go look at completely.
• 30:52
  Speaker 4: Oh no, I don't think it has to be big.
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: I actually just ordered They are these cards that are
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: for particular cities, and we have them for Denver. We
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: haven't looked at them yet, but you basically like pick
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: out a card and it's like it has like adventure
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: or you know whatever on it, and you like, you know,
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: kind of like a lottery card.
• 31:12
  Speaker 4: You wipe and then you figure out where you go.
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so I feel like we need to do that,
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: including with the kids. When you're when your kids moved out,
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: did you change up their rooms or did you leave
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: them the.
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: Same gone I made I made well, I moved into
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: a condo when you.
• 31:34
  Speaker 4: Gone like literally like not even there anymore?
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: No, Well, no, he had a room in my condo.
• 31:41
  Speaker 5: He was a junior senior in high school.
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: But as soon as.
• 31:45
  Speaker 5: He went the two exits down, I turned it into
• 31:48
  Speaker 5: a workout room for me.
• 31:50
  Speaker 4: Got it good for you?
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: What about you?
• 31:53
  Speaker 4: Cindy read it.
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: For the first two I still had the house and
• 31:56
  Speaker 3: so I kept their rooms for them. It was so cute,
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: Like when Sarah left, Emily would go into her room
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: and sleep in Sarah's bed. It was it was so cute.
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: So their room stayed the same.
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: And then after Caroline went to college, you know, I
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: ended up selling the house and moving here where. You know,
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: I live in a hotel, and so I don't have
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: I live in a residence of a hotel.
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: So I'm in a.
• 32:26
  Speaker 4: Condo, but down below our hotel rooms.
• 32:30
  Speaker 3: And so honestly, when they come into town, they get
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: to it's like a resort for them. They'd come in
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: stays room when the girls are just here.
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: They loved staying here.
• 32:41
  Speaker 3: When Sarah got married in Italy, we had the night
• 32:45
  Speaker 3: before she got married. She wanted to stay all together
• 32:49
  Speaker 3: and what she meant is all together in the same room.
• 32:51
  Speaker 3: But Caroline and I were sharing a room with a
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: full sized bed. Maybe it was a quel let's just
• 32:57
  Speaker 3: say it was a queen and so we all slept
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: in the queen bed like, oh my gosh, like we
• 33:05
  Speaker 3: could not move, and we called ourselves little Sardinia's.
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: And so when they come into town, they.
• 33:11
  Speaker 3: Want to be Sardinia's in the bed still because you know,
• 33:15
  Speaker 3: it's back to that, you know, do you want it
• 33:18
  Speaker 3: to be novel and you know, like Lesley changed it
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: and became a novel room and so that was a transition,
• 33:24
  Speaker 3: and or do you want it to be still a
• 33:26
  Speaker 3: repetitive and you know, there's no rush to move into anything.
• 33:30
  Speaker 3: I would I would probably ask him what he wants. Yeah,
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: unless there's a precipitating like I sold that.
• 33:37
  Speaker 4: Oh no, no, no, I mean the yeah.
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: And the fact of the matter is that Blakesley is
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: still here, so and this isn't We've said, this isn't
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: our forever home. So I feel like after Blakesley's gone,
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: and if I had my uh, if I if I
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: had to place a bet, then I would bet that
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: she'll probably end up in California. So I feel like
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: there's a possibility that we would just sell this and
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: downsize and whatever. Who knows what will happen there but yeah,
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: we'll keep his room for now. For what about if
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: your kids wanted to move back in? Did either of
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: you have kids who wanted to move back in with you?
• 34:11
  Speaker 4: I have to handle that.
• 34:12
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that little workout room that I had became a
• 34:17
  Speaker 5: bedroom four more times. My daughter came there. You know what,
• 34:22
  Speaker 5: They're like boomerangs. You throw them off, they come right.
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: Back, doesn't he yes, Oh yeah that's a good turn.
• 34:29
  Speaker 5: There was an air mattress and then I'm like, okay,
• 34:31
  Speaker 5: I get a bed back in here.
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: I mean yeah, it definitely. Yeah.
• 34:35
  Speaker 3: They never really leave, they don't. But like, you know,
• 34:39
  Speaker 3: things happened too, Like Sarah and her husband were moving
• 34:45
  Speaker 3: from Austin back up to Dallas, and he moved before
• 34:48
  Speaker 3: she was moving, and so she just moved in with
• 34:51
  Speaker 3: me temporarily.
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: During COVID, I had, you know, different waves of kids
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: lived with me for different circumstances, you know, And my
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: caught in New York. She was working at Madison Square
• 35:02
  Speaker 3: Garden when COVID hit, and like we moved her home
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: and she never went back, never went back. So yeah,
• 35:10
  Speaker 3: it was you know, I feel that those opportunities are
• 35:15
  Speaker 3: a chance to test resilience. With your kids and to
• 35:19
  Speaker 3: give them a stability to know they can do anything.
• 35:22
  Speaker 3: If you want to come home, that's fine, but let's
• 35:24
  Speaker 3: talk about why you're coming home. Let's test the resilience
• 35:28
  Speaker 3: of why they're coming home. Yeah, you know, I want
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: to save money. This is what I have a plan.
• 35:34
  Speaker 3: Or listen, I had a terrible breakup and I can't
• 35:36
  Speaker 3: handle it. I'm I'm I need shelter, I need help,
• 35:40
  Speaker 3: you know all. But you got to talk about why
• 35:42
  Speaker 3: they got to talk about why they're coming home. It's
• 35:45
  Speaker 3: just part of you know, growing and becoming their their
• 35:49
  Speaker 3: fullest self totally. And by the way, one day, one day,
• 35:53
  Speaker 3: I'm going to end up moving into probably Emily's basement,
• 35:56
  Speaker 3: you know. So it's gonna it's gonna reverse eventually. I'm
• 36:01
  Speaker 3: going to need some help.
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: You would hope, right, you know, you would hope that
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: your children would take you in.
• 36:07
  Speaker 3: I'm moving in with Emily, but I think the other
• 36:09
  Speaker 3: two would play rock paper scissors to Yeah, to have met.
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: One other thing that has popped up in my head
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: while we've been talking is when, like you know, with
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: place the last night, in this big conversation that we had,
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: I was a one hundred percent honest with her in
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: why I'm so emotional and you know, menopause and with Max,
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: and then you know, just life is crazy right now
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: and busy, and I feel like I'm worried that I'm
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: being a good mom and all of these things. And
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: so I was one hundred percent honest with her and
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: was crying in front of her. What are both of
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: your thoughts on the level of honesty that you go
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: with your kids, Like, are you isolating from the emotions
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: that you're feeling so that they don't feel any type
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: of way or any negative feelings towards it, or do
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: you just share all you know? Both of you seem
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: to be I know that you guys are both extremely
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: close with your children. So I feel like I need
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: that advice because I'm worried that if I overshare, like
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: you just said, Leslie, if I overshare, is it going
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: to create some kind of wall and she's going to
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: be like, I just can't deal with that. Or is
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: it something that helps you know, you guys to be
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: able to relate to each other and just continue to
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: grow and make a lasting bestie relationship.
• 37:45
  Speaker 5: They never, you know, they never really want to Kate
• 37:50
  Speaker 5: they don't want you to hurt. Our kids don't want
• 37:53
  Speaker 5: to see us hurting and sad, and so it is
• 37:58
  Speaker 5: a fine line. And for me it was I could,
• 38:01
  Speaker 5: I could share more with my daughter than I could
• 38:04
  Speaker 5: with my sons, although I'm very close to my sons,
• 38:07
  Speaker 5: but I just didn't want.
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: I don't want.
• 38:10
  Speaker 5: You don't want to burden them with your sadness, you know.
• 38:14
  Speaker 5: But now that they're older, my daughter I can I
• 38:17
  Speaker 5: tell everything too, like, doesn't matter what it is, and
• 38:20
  Speaker 5: she kind of helps me through things, and I help
• 38:22
  Speaker 5: her through things, and you know, so there's there's like
• 38:27
  Speaker 5: a fine line of being stoic and still being their
• 38:29
  Speaker 5: mom and not letting them see you vulnerable. And then
• 38:33
  Speaker 5: there's a line where you want your kids to see
• 38:36
  Speaker 5: you vulnerable because that's who you are, and and you
• 38:39
  Speaker 5: know you don't want to be something you're not in
• 38:41
  Speaker 5: front of them.
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: So it is it's a tough call.
• 38:45
  Speaker 5: So I you know, I may have shared too much
• 38:47
  Speaker 5: with my kids when I was younger, and they remember it.
• 38:51
  Speaker 5: You know, I remember that day you were really sad
• 38:53
  Speaker 5: and got really mad.
• 38:54
  Speaker 4: At dad, you know, like or stuff like that.
• 38:56
  Speaker 5: They you know, I'm like, well, it was shooting on me.
• 38:59
  Speaker 5: But whatever, No, I didn't say that, but I'm just like, yeah,
• 39:02
  Speaker 5: I got mad there was that.
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: I mean that, yeah, but you know, just things like that.
• 39:10
  Speaker 5: They remember things and and it's kind of like with
• 39:13
  Speaker 5: Cindy said, like is it is it the novel thing,
• 39:16
  Speaker 5: the good novel thing they remember or is it sometimes
• 39:18
  Speaker 5: a bad novel thing. So I think you just gotta
• 39:22
  Speaker 5: you gotta read Read the Room, Trista, you know, and
• 39:24
  Speaker 5: you gotta that's my advice to you. I mean, you know,
• 39:30
  Speaker 5: you just want to be you, but you have to still.
• 39:33
  Speaker 4: Yeah, protect them.
• 39:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like you're Tye trading a new reality of
• 39:39
  Speaker 3: who you are in your kids. Your kids know you
• 39:42
  Speaker 3: as mom. That's all they cared about.
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: And and.
• 39:47
  Speaker 3: They'd see you as a friend. They see you as
• 39:48
  Speaker 3: a wife, but they really mostly see you as mom.
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah right.
• 39:54
  Speaker 3: And in the what I love about this last time
• 39:58
  Speaker 3: since they launched, since I Eat my Nest, they're seeing
• 40:01
  Speaker 3: me for me so much more. They still love to
• 40:05
  Speaker 3: see mom, but they see me as a I tell you,
• 40:08
  Speaker 3: during this show, my kids saw how my friends really
• 40:12
  Speaker 3: came forward in my life. And it was cool because
• 40:15
  Speaker 3: they knew my friends were probably bleacher friends who had
• 40:19
  Speaker 3: kids who were their friends. So they just knew, you know,
• 40:23
  Speaker 3: Missus Bibey as Julia's mom, and they knew missus Biby
• 40:28
  Speaker 3: was my friend, but they saw her as my support,
• 40:33
  Speaker 3: my friend in such a unique way at the stage
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: of my life. So but that didn't happen overnight. It
• 40:38
  Speaker 3: happened over ten years, So you have a long time.
• 40:42
  Speaker 3: I say, be vulnerable. Let her know, like, hey, mom's
• 40:45
  Speaker 3: going through some stuff. And our family they the code
• 40:50
  Speaker 3: word was to Sarah, Sarah fix it.
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: So I'd get teary and they'd go, Sarah, fix it.
• 40:56
  Speaker 3: She would say something funny, I would laugh, and you
• 40:59
  Speaker 3: would move on. So when it got too intense, we
• 41:02
  Speaker 3: kind of had a code word for like Okay, we
• 41:05
  Speaker 3: got to get out of this, fixed mom, because we
• 41:07
  Speaker 3: need is.
• 41:08
  Speaker 4: A great idea, a code word to just.
• 41:11
  Speaker 3: Code word to be like okay, too much. And by
• 41:14
  Speaker 3: the way, they want this to be a fun part,
• 41:17
  Speaker 3: a fun journey. They don't want this to feel so overwhelming.
• 41:22
  Speaker 3: It's just like we're excited about it, but there's also
• 41:24
  Speaker 3: part of me that's really going to miss you, and
• 41:26
  Speaker 3: I'm trying to deal with it. So when that happens,
• 41:29
  Speaker 3: you just say puppy because I love dogs, you know whatever,
• 41:33
  Speaker 3: and you'll figure out, You'll have your own code and
• 41:35
  Speaker 3: it will just kind of happen on its own.
• 41:38
  Speaker 2: But you know, just let them know, like this is intense.
• 41:41
  Speaker 3: It really just for you to know, not for you
• 41:44
  Speaker 3: to talk about with your kids, but just for you
• 41:46
  Speaker 3: to know. Those kids are going to start seeing the
• 41:48
  Speaker 3: full you in the next decade and it is so
• 41:51
  Speaker 3: much fun. Like Leslie was saying, like, these kids are
• 41:54
  Speaker 3: my absolute best friends, my best friends. They're who I
• 41:59
  Speaker 3: choose to spend life with, and not because I gave
• 42:03
  Speaker 3: birth to them, not because we're genetically linked, not because
• 42:06
  Speaker 3: we have a history. Because I have the coolest family
• 42:09
  Speaker 3: on the planet and cool humans that I want to
• 42:12
  Speaker 3: live life with.
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel the same way. People like, are you dating?
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: I'm like, no, I got kids, I'd.
• 42:19
  Speaker 5: Rather be with them. I rather and grand babies. Yeah,
• 42:22
  Speaker 5: grand babies. I rather just do that.
• 42:25
  Speaker 3: The hormonal stuff is super important, not just for your
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: daughter to see, but for your son to see, because
• 42:30
  Speaker 3: one day, hopefully she'll support a woman through this transition
• 42:34
  Speaker 3: and he will see that. You know, I'm trying to
• 42:36
  Speaker 3: figure out if this is really I'm sad over the transition,
• 42:40
  Speaker 3: or these are hormones and I really can't tell the difference,
• 42:43
  Speaker 3: or guys I'm like super hot, Like oh my, you know,
• 42:46
  Speaker 3: whatever's happening in this transition, you kind of got to
• 42:49
  Speaker 3: share it with your kids. I think that's it's it's
• 42:51
  Speaker 3: we hid this or my mom's generation kind of hid
• 42:54
  Speaker 3: it from from our generation, and there's no need.
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: No why don't we tell talk about it. I just
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: saw on Instagram post from it was like a bunch
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: of women. I don't know if they're doing a documentary.
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: I can't remember what the post exactly was about what
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: There was one woman on there talking about how she
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: was a doctor and during her schooling they literally covered
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: menopause for an hour or something like that, you know,
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: like it was like, okay, so this is no like
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: a literally an hour. Okay, Well, I guess menopause doesn't
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: need any more time of your time to learn about.
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: So I feel like I want to be vocal about
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: it while it's happening, so that you know it. It
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: makes it so that people feel like they can talk
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: more about it. And especially because I want my kids
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: to know that I am not I am not losing
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: my mind, Like I don't need to be admitted, I
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: just need I need some grace, please, just.
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: A little bit and just makes sun it be lightheartedly.
• 43:55
  Speaker 3: You are, you're already about it like this.
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: There's no shame in this, and you're gonna get forgetful.
• 44:01
  Speaker 4: Oh dear heavens, Oh girl already. I mean I have been.
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: I have been in perimenopause probably since like thirty five,
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: so it's been a long time and it's terrible.
• 44:12
  Speaker 5: How about when you're driving and you forget where you're going,
• 44:15
  Speaker 5: I'm like, I don't know, or.
• 44:17
  Speaker 4: Walking into a room.
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: I literally was on my phone and I was like, oh,
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: I need to pick up my phone and see what
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: my So I'm looking around for my phone.
• 44:25
  Speaker 4: I'm like, it's in my hands.
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: I mean this all this other this Instagram post, this
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: woman was talking about how she had forgotten her name,
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: her own freaking name. I'm like, I feel I haven't
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: done that, but I have forgotten my grandmother's name.
• 44:45
  Speaker 4: I am the.
• 44:46
  Speaker 5: Only person going through this because I don't know. If
• 44:49
  Speaker 5: you watch a show called Friends and Neighbors with John Ham,
• 44:52
  Speaker 5: but Amanda Pete plays his ex wife, but she's going
• 44:56
  Speaker 5: to the exact same thing you are, the hot flashes
• 44:59
  Speaker 5: and menopause, and she has a daughter leaving, and it's like,
• 45:04
  Speaker 5: so when I'm hearing your talk, I'm like, I just
• 45:06
  Speaker 5: watched that episode, so literally you're not the only.
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: One obviously, because they're making shows about it.
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: I love it that it's on television and it's on
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: a popular show, Like I know that show is popular,
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: so I love that it's out there.
• 45:20
  Speaker 2: And she's such a good actress. She makes us look
• 45:23
  Speaker 2: so real when she throws those covers.
• 45:25
  Speaker 5: Off in the middle of the night and changes a sheet,
• 45:27
  Speaker 5: like it's crazy.
• 45:29
  Speaker 2: I'm like, yes, I know, get.
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: Out of bed and change the sheets, but yeah, I
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: mean throwing the covers off of me.
• 45:35
  Speaker 4: Hell yeah, Okay.
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: So I know that in terms of parents, like helping
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: with your parents, it's not necessarily something that you guys
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: have dealt with, especially you, Leslie, with losing your parents
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: so early. But have you talked about that with your kids,
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: Like like you you kind of joked about living with Emily,
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: you know, moving in with Emily, I think is what
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: you said.
• 46:12
  Speaker 4: Have you talked in.
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: Detail with your kids about about transitions?
• 46:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I have an interesting story that actually just happened
• 46:20
  Speaker 3: last year. So with my longevity, my kids are like,
• 46:23
  Speaker 3: Mom's going to live forever, like she's she's going to
• 46:27
  Speaker 3: live forever, and so they think they are too. And
• 46:30
  Speaker 3: last year, I had a irregular mammogram. And I live
• 46:35
  Speaker 3: here alone. I drove myself to get my mammogram, you
• 46:40
  Speaker 3: know normal. I do it every year. I'm very meticulous
• 46:42
  Speaker 3: about it. I used to sell mimography equipment, so I'm
• 46:46
  Speaker 3: very familiar with all of it. I can read my
• 46:48
  Speaker 3: own image. I mean I can't, but I can see enough.
• 46:52
  Speaker 3: So I had a mammogram, went home. It's all going
• 46:54
  Speaker 3: to be fine. I have no no trace of genetically
• 46:59
  Speaker 3: no genetic position for breast cancer in my family, Thank
• 47:02
  Speaker 3: the good Lord. So I go home and I get
• 47:04
  Speaker 3: a call from the reeologist. We saw something on your mammogram.
• 47:08
  Speaker 3: So I go back in for instead of a diagnostic,
• 47:11
  Speaker 3: I had a sort of screening. I had a diagnostic MAMOGRM.
• 47:14
  Speaker 3: They look extra close. Well, that was still suspicious. So
• 47:18
  Speaker 3: I came back and did an ultrasound and that was
• 47:21
  Speaker 3: still suspicious. And this whole time I'm thinking I'm fine
• 47:25
  Speaker 3: until the ultrasound came back suspicious. And then the next
• 47:29
  Speaker 3: step is to go to a biopsy and the whole
• 47:31
  Speaker 3: I hadn't told my kids that I was even having
• 47:34
  Speaker 3: a mammogram, Like, it's just no big deal, it's just
• 47:37
  Speaker 3: what you do. You're gonna get the world changed. Once
• 47:39
  Speaker 3: a year, go get a mammogram. The mom's gonna be fine.
• 47:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 47:41
  Speaker 3: So I hadn't told him, and I didn't tell him
• 47:43
  Speaker 3: about the next one, and I didn't tell him about
• 47:45
  Speaker 3: the next one, and I'm like, what do I do.
• 47:47
  Speaker 3: I don't want to scare them, but if this ends
• 47:50
  Speaker 3: up to be something, I don't want them to not
• 47:54
  Speaker 3: know I was on this journey, I don't want them
• 47:57
  Speaker 3: it's going to be a big, you know, moment for them.
• 48:00
  Speaker 3: So I had a FaceTime call and we do facetimes
• 48:03
  Speaker 3: all the time, so that wasn't scary, and we just
• 48:05
  Speaker 3: the next FaceTime, I just was like, hey, I got
• 48:08
  Speaker 3: something to tell you. Is everybody in a place where
• 48:12
  Speaker 3: you have time to listen to me? And they were like,
• 48:14
  Speaker 3: oh my gosh, what's happening? And I said, I don't
• 48:18
  Speaker 3: know how else to tell you. And I know that
• 48:20
  Speaker 3: if I were you, I would have a moment of
• 48:23
  Speaker 3: oh my gosh. So after I tell you this, I'm
• 48:25
  Speaker 3: going to hop off and let you guys talk, and
• 48:27
  Speaker 3: then I'm coming back on to talk about it again.
• 48:30
  Speaker 3: And I told them the situation. I said, I don't
• 48:32
  Speaker 3: think this is going to be anything, but in case
• 48:35
  Speaker 3: it is, I didn't want to get any further in
• 48:37
  Speaker 3: this journey without you knowing about it.
• 48:41
  Speaker 2: I might tear up.
• 48:44
  Speaker 3: And it was very difficult for my kids to end
• 48:47
  Speaker 3: up switching the gears and going into the mode of,
• 48:52
  Speaker 3: you know, this is a situation, there might be something
• 48:55
  Speaker 3: wrong with mom. We never expected that to happen. You know,
• 48:59
  Speaker 3: we're all superwomen in the lives of our kids and
• 49:03
  Speaker 3: a bulletproof and so when there's a bullet that penetrates,
• 49:07
  Speaker 3: it's very scary for everybody, including those kids. So it
• 49:12
  Speaker 3: ended up being nothing. And the way we circled back
• 49:14
  Speaker 3: is I'm glad we went through this because one day
• 49:18
  Speaker 3: it's going to be something. There will be a day
• 49:21
  Speaker 3: where it's going to be something, And now we know
• 49:25
  Speaker 3: how those feelings are. Now you know how we're going
• 49:29
  Speaker 3: to handle it. Now we can handle it in peace
• 49:32
  Speaker 3: with you know, with emotions, but still handle it and
• 49:37
  Speaker 3: know what to do. And it was a really good exercise.
• 49:41
  Speaker 3: So I'm glad that we had it. I'm glad that
• 49:44
  Speaker 3: it was nothing. I'm so so grateful that it was nothing.
• 49:48
  Speaker 3: But when it is something for any of us, I
• 49:51
  Speaker 3: know that we will, you know, have a strategy and
• 49:55
  Speaker 3: remember what that was like as we walk through it again.
• 49:58
  Speaker 3: I've never told that story to anybody else my family.
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: So thank you for sharing. I'm I'm glad, you're okay.
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: I'm glad it was nothing. And actually I think it
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: is a huge blessing, you know, looking at it and
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: thinking you had this opportunity to open up the dialogue
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: with your girls and and no, you know, none of
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: us are immortal. We're going to pass at some point.
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: So maybe just opening the door to talk about it
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: and share feelings, and I think that's really important.
• 50:33
  Speaker 4: I mean, actually I hired someone to.
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: Help us with college stuff, and they had a recommendation
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: for all these forms that you have to get filled
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: out when your kids turn eighteen, like the FURPA and
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: the Hippo forms and the power of Attorney so that
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: you know, if something God forbid happens, that you can
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: still be the one to make the decisions when it
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: comes to their medical care or financial needs or whatever. Right.
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: So I just I brought up the fact that you know,
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: I have to get these forms signed to Max and
• 51:13
  Speaker 1: in it you know the power of attorney. It's like
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: you need to determine whether your kid, if God forbid again,
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: passes away, do you want to be buried? Do you
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: want to be cremated? Like they're big, huge conversations that
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: you have to have with your parents, with your kids,
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: and it can be awkward, but it's also I feel like,
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: really important. So I would just a piece of advice
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: from me is just to encourage everyone out there, whether
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: your parents are healthy or not, whether your kids are
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: healthy or not, have those conversations with all of the
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: people in your life so that you know everyone is
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: protected and has the care that they need.
• 52:00
  Speaker 4: If God forbid, God forbid.
• 52:02
  Speaker 3: Something, and you know what your loved ones wishes would be.
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 52:09
  Speaker 2: I think that's so important.
• 52:10
  Speaker 3: You don't end up with gosh, I wish I knew,
• 52:12
  Speaker 3: and then there's the guilt over why didn't I ever ask?
• 52:17
  Speaker 3: I must not have known them well because I don't
• 52:19
  Speaker 3: know what their wishes are. Like all those things come
• 52:21
  Speaker 3: up unnecessarily, which is because of that. But those you know,
• 52:25
  Speaker 3: I've had the conversations. Yeah, with my kids, they know
• 52:28
  Speaker 3: exactly my wishes and at the end of the day,
• 52:32
  Speaker 3: they're the ones that are going to be either taking
• 52:35
  Speaker 3: care of me or whatever, so they know exactly how
• 52:39
  Speaker 3: I feel. And I think it's that they hate talking
• 52:43
  Speaker 3: about it.
• 52:44
  Speaker 2: But I'm like you guys, I mean, you know, TikTok.
• 52:47
  Speaker 5: I don't even have a last trimester here, you know, really,
• 52:50
  Speaker 5: at the end of the day, it's it's I'm sixty seven,
• 52:53
  Speaker 5: It's it's we got to talk about this stuff, and
• 52:56
  Speaker 5: they hate it. But I'm glad that we do because
• 53:00
  Speaker 5: when the time comes, I think they're going to know
• 53:01
  Speaker 5: what to do, you know.
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, right, and they won't have that stress.
• 53:05
  Speaker 5: I don't want them to fight over it totally.
• 53:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 53:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: The stress of like having to make those huge decisions
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: when you do lose someone is just in the middle
• 53:17
  Speaker 1: of all of the grief. You don't want to have
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: to be making those kind of decisions.
• 53:22
  Speaker 3: So can I give you one more piece of advice please?
• 53:26
  Speaker 4: I was just going to say, we re me. I'm
• 53:28
  Speaker 4: great with this.
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: This conversation has been amazing, but I wanted to kind
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: of end it on. Yes, any last pieces of advice
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: regarding what we were just talking about, as well as
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: you know a mom who has a little bit of
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: anxiety with their kids launching.
• 53:44
  Speaker 2: It's kind of a blend of both.
• 53:45
  Speaker 3: I had for reasons I don't want to go into,
• 53:49
  Speaker 3: but I had gotten composition notebooks.
• 53:51
  Speaker 2: You know, I'm talking about ladies like you got.
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: Ryan has the composition journals in them.
• 53:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Perfect.
• 53:57
  Speaker 3: You need to get one of every color, and they
• 53:59
  Speaker 3: need to be your medical notebook. In the front of
• 54:03
  Speaker 3: it it should be date of birth, birth weight, did
• 54:06
  Speaker 3: you breastfeed for how long? The doc mentionally there was
• 54:10
  Speaker 3: anything remarkable? Next page any orthopedic stuff, broke your leg,
• 54:14
  Speaker 3: both the whatever, primary, pure physician. Everything goes in that notebook,
• 54:19
  Speaker 3: and then that goes with your kid no matter where
• 54:22
  Speaker 3: they go.
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: They have to take it to college. My kid. I
• 54:25
  Speaker 2: tell my kids.
• 54:26
  Speaker 3: So two of them don't know where they are right now,
• 54:28
  Speaker 3: and that's fine, but I think they need to find
• 54:30
  Speaker 3: them or get a new one, because that just happens.
• 54:32
  Speaker 2: Like my couple us.
• 54:34
  Speaker 3: My son in law severed his achilles, and I want
• 54:37
  Speaker 3: him to write like the date that that happened, who
• 54:39
  Speaker 3: is doctor? Was the phone number of the doctor? We
• 54:42
  Speaker 3: think we're going to remember all of this, and you don't,
• 54:46
  Speaker 3: and you don't, so you have.
• 54:48
  Speaker 2: Don't exactly.
• 54:51
  Speaker 1: I can't even remember my passwords.
• 54:53
  Speaker 5: I know you got to put it down, you put it,
• 54:56
  Speaker 5: put it somewhere else.
• 54:56
  Speaker 3: But this is just for medical And keep it in
• 54:59
  Speaker 3: your kitchen pantry. Keep it in your kitchen pantry because
• 55:03
  Speaker 3: it'll be the only notebook in your kitchen pantry. And
• 55:06
  Speaker 3: always know where to find it if you go look
• 55:08
  Speaker 3: for it, especially in your household. If they're journaling in
• 55:11
  Speaker 3: those same composition notebooks, you can't go look. You got
• 55:15
  Speaker 3: to be able to find it quick and I mean anytime,
• 55:18
  Speaker 3: like literally, we whatever they have. They had pneumonia, they
• 55:23
  Speaker 3: had started allergy shots, whatever those situations are. God bless
• 55:28
  Speaker 3: it for us. We are so healthy. It's like Cindy
• 55:30
  Speaker 3: had a hangnail in January. So I have three pages
• 55:36
  Speaker 3: listed in my notebook.
• 55:37
  Speaker 2: God, you know you know, thank goodness.
• 55:39
  Speaker 3: But just make sure you have that for each member
• 55:42
  Speaker 3: of your family, and do one for yourself too.
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: So hold hold please one second. You made me think
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: of something. I'll be right back one second.
• 55:50
  Speaker 3: So going to get a notebook, Leslie.
• 55:55
  Speaker 2: I know she's probably going I have one.
• 55:58
  Speaker 3: She's probably going to her no interest that she probably.
• 56:02
  Speaker 4: Does, so it's going on a trip.
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: And I was all worried because I take care of
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: I pay the bills, you know, I I do kind of.
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: I'm the whole household manager, if you will. And I
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: found this on Yes, I'm the CEO of this atter household.
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: I found this on Amazon a friend of mine, actually
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: it was Molli Mesnik. That's so funny. I'm dead now what.
• 56:24
  Speaker 2: Oh my god? I love that.
• 56:27
  Speaker 4: Important shit and do when I die.
• 56:30
  Speaker 1: It's literally on Amazon, and you can get all different
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: kinds of like covers, and it has like banking information,
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: it has funeral stuff, it has assets, it has funeral
• 56:43
  Speaker 1: arrangements like like the place that people should call God.
• 56:47
  Speaker 6: I love that.
• 56:50
  Speaker 4: Yes, like literally.
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: All the life things a personal It has personal message
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: pages so you can write like a personal message.
• 57:00
  Speaker 4: Every single loose ends.
• 57:02
  Speaker 1: To tie up like it. I am getting that, you guys,
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: But but look, so look at how much I've done.
• 57:10
  Speaker 2: You have to buy it and then you actually have
• 57:11
  Speaker 2: to fill it out.
• 57:12
  Speaker 5: Well, you're a little preoccupied right now, but you know what,
• 57:15
  Speaker 5: You're gonna have lots.
• 57:16
  Speaker 2: Of time, lots of time.
• 57:20
  Speaker 5: You can put that on your Bilguard's true.
• 57:25
  Speaker 1: Yes, Okay, you guys are amazing. Thank you so much.
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: I just I look up to you both in terms
• 57:33
  Speaker 1: of the relationships you have with your kids, and I
• 57:36
  Speaker 1: just pray that I can I can be like you
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: and my kids will will be like yours. And yeah,
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: thank you so much. Right, it's definitely eased my anxiety.
• 57:50
  Speaker 7: Yeah, I love you too, brief, that's all right, love,
• 57:55
  Speaker 7: And you've given them such great tools and such great
• 57:59
  Speaker 7: just a firm foundation to build their life upon.
• 58:03
  Speaker 3: And it's just going to be You're solsted at the
• 58:04
  Speaker 3: front row to watch these kids continue to grow. And
• 58:08
  Speaker 3: it's such a privilege, what a privilege to be here
• 58:10
  Speaker 3: with both of you today.
• 58:12
  Speaker 2: I know. I love you guys.
• 58:15
  Speaker 5: Follow the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcasts on
• 58:18
  Speaker 5: iHeartRadio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.