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3 Common Mistakes that Hold Us Back from the Life & Business We Desire · The Entrepreneur's Wife: Finding Purpose as the Helper of a Small Business Owner in a Feminist Obsessed World

0:01
SPEAKER_00: What is holding you back from experiencing the life and pursuing the business you desire?
0:06
SPEAKER_00: Have you thought about how different your life could be if you took a leap of faith rather than fall victim to that thing?
0:14
SPEAKER_00: Welcome, guys, to the Entrepreneur's Wife podcast.
0:17
SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Carly Rains.
0:19
SPEAKER_00: This is a podcast where we talk about finding purpose as the helper to our small business owner in this feminist obsessed world.
0:27
SPEAKER_00: We take biblical values, we look at what it means to be the biblical woman and how we can apply that in our practical daily lives as moms, as women of God, and as entrepreneurial wives.
0:39
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the episode for today.
0:41
SPEAKER_00: So today we're going to talk about three common mistakes that hold us back from the life and business we desire.
0:49
SPEAKER_00: Now, before I start, I just want to preference.
0:52
SPEAKER_00: These are three common mistakes that I have witnessed um either other people like in other people's life, um, and that Briston and I have witnessed in our own life.
1:05
SPEAKER_00: So this isn't verbatim.
1:07
SPEAKER_00: I'm sure there's more out there.
1:10
SPEAKER_00: And I'm just gonna be real with you before we get started.
1:13
SPEAKER_00: These might ruffle your feathers.
1:15
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so what I'm about to say you might not like.
1:19
SPEAKER_00: And at the end of the day, my encouragement is to really ask the question Am I living the life that I truly want, that I truly desire?
1:30
SPEAKER_00: Am I pursuing the business endeavors, whatever it is, the goals, aspirations that I truly desire?
1:36
SPEAKER_00: If not, am I doing these three things?
1:40
SPEAKER_00: And are these three things actually limiting me?
1:42
SPEAKER_00: I think a big part of talking about this topic is actually being honest with ourselves of, hey, like I might need to do some self-evaluation, and there needs to be change going on in me.
1:57
SPEAKER_00: Because if I want to live a life, a fulfilling life that is satisfying, that I desire, and I'm not, like, why would I expect something to magically happen to have that life that I want?
2:12
SPEAKER_00: I am gonna have to be proactive, I'm gonna have to produce change, and change is hard.
2:18
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so these three things are gonna require some change and they're going to bump up against our flesh.
2:28
SPEAKER_00: Now, the good news is Christ, our Father, the Holy Spirit, has actually given us the power when we abide in Him to make these changes, and they're not gonna be immediate, they're not gonna be all at once.
2:44
SPEAKER_00: Um, these changes are gonna be like a daily habitual decision that you make that slowly grows over time.
2:52
SPEAKER_00: So don't expect tomorrow for you know you just to be perfect in these three common areas.
3:00
SPEAKER_00: Um, it's definitely trial and error, but I will say that with the help of the Holy Spirit, it can be done.
3:07
SPEAKER_00: And from what Briston and I have seen in our own life, um, it's it's definitely worth it.
3:12
SPEAKER_00: So I want to start by that.
3:15
SPEAKER_00: So, okay, if you don't know, if you're new here, so after four years, I've been married to Risten, we're going on four years, I'm pretty sure, and he's been an entrepreneur for going on six years, and the whole time I've watched him when we're dating, um do business, and so this is coming from these three common mistakes are coming from someone who has dated an entrepreneur, then married an entrepreneur for four plus years, and then I just turned 27, so I've been an adult on my own for uh we'll say seven years, if you count, if you count college or not.
3:56
SPEAKER_00: So, like I said, these are three common mistakes that I've seen either in other people's life or in my own life that kind of limits us from actually fulfilling the life that we want and the business that we desire.
4:12
SPEAKER_00: So let's get into it.
4:13
SPEAKER_00: So, number one is fear, and there's two areas where this hits home.
4:20
SPEAKER_00: You either are facing the fear of trying, so you're just afraid to take the first step.
4:27
SPEAKER_00: Like you have the idea, you have the want, you have the thing that you want to do, but you're afraid to actually try.
4:36
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so that's number one.
4:38
SPEAKER_00: Or the and these can go hand in hand, you're afraid of failing.
4:44
SPEAKER_00: And this was a big one for me personally.
4:47
SPEAKER_00: So this mindset sadly keeps us from ever stepping into a new season or change of life.
4:55
SPEAKER_00: Like, if you really do struggle with the fear of trying or the idea of, well, what if I fail?
5:02
SPEAKER_00: Well, what if I don't know if it works?
5:03
SPEAKER_00: Like, if you let that rule your life, you will never, never change.
5:11
SPEAKER_00: It will your life will always be what it is.
5:15
SPEAKER_00: And I I mean that's like a very blunt thing to say, but I don't know how else to I don't know how else to say it.
5:23
SPEAKER_00: Because again, if you're living your life, yet you desire a different type of life, a different way of life, it's gonna require change.
5:35
SPEAKER_00: And fear often holds us back from ever stepping into a new because what we need to realize, guys, is that it is unknown.
5:47
SPEAKER_00: Like you desiring the life that you want, it is still stepping into unknown factors because you've never lived that life.
5:57
SPEAKER_00: You might have seen other people live that life, but even for Briston, I'm gonna kind of read.
6:02
SPEAKER_00: I did a blog post about this.
6:04
SPEAKER_00: So, a common quality of successful entrepreneurs is their willingness to take chances.
6:10
SPEAKER_00: So, even for Briston, he has seen um successful entrepreneurs before him, go before him, he's seen them succeed.
6:22
SPEAKER_00: And another thing that I want to encourage you guys is not like the feel the fear of failing and the fear of trying.
6:32
SPEAKER_00: If you research um successful entrepreneurs, I I want to encourage you to research how many times they actually failed before they got it right.
6:44
SPEAKER_00: They failed many times.
6:46
SPEAKER_00: If you read about the guy who invented the light bulb, okay, he I don't remember how many times he trialed and erred it, but it was a bunch of times.
6:56
SPEAKER_00: If you read, even for Briston, he had started multiple businesses in high school and none of them clicked, none of them were sustainable, none of them were scalable, none of them were successful.
7:09
SPEAKER_00: And then he gets to college and he starts Texas Outlaw, and everything he had learned from those failures, everything he had learned from those businesses not working out, just were stepping blocks to building a successful business that would eventually work out.
7:26
SPEAKER_00: If you research authors, how many rejections they get for their book proposals before they actually get a signed contract?
7:33
SPEAKER_00: I mean, it is I hate to say this, but for anyone who wants to be successful, for anyone who wants to do something and not just exist, you're you're a failing and trying again is a part of life.
7:49
SPEAKER_00: And this is the beautiful part about it, is honestly, guys, the only type of losing is when you quit and you give up.
7:59
SPEAKER_00: Like even if you fail, even if you try something, it doesn't work out, you still take lessons from that.
8:05
SPEAKER_00: And John Maxwell, who's a great business leader, talks about this.
8:09
SPEAKER_00: You still take lessons from that mishap to apply to the next thing.
8:15
SPEAKER_00: So is it really failure?
8:17
SPEAKER_00: Maybe in your eyes, because that's what you wanted, but in God's eyes, it's molding us into a better person.
8:24
SPEAKER_00: And successful entrepreneurs, they're risk takers.
8:27
SPEAKER_00: And at the end of the day, you desiring the life that you want is a risk.
8:32
SPEAKER_00: You're taking a risk.
8:34
SPEAKER_00: You're saying, This is what I want.
8:36
SPEAKER_00: I am risking changing my lifestyle to do that thing that I want.
8:42
SPEAKER_00: And you're either going to take that risk or you're going to quiver in fear.
8:47
SPEAKER_00: Like those are your those are pretty much your two options, okay?
8:50
SPEAKER_00: Um, another thing that I want to say is that many entrepreneurs are overly optimistic about the idea.
8:57
SPEAKER_00: So when we talk about doubt, right?
8:59
SPEAKER_00: Fear of failing, fear of trying, a lot of times it has to do with doubt.
9:03
SPEAKER_00: I don't know if this is gonna work out.
9:05
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, should I do this?
9:06
SPEAKER_00: It's a confidence thing, and something I've learned from Briston and other entrepreneurs is that they are overly optimistic about an idea.
9:16
SPEAKER_00: Literally, Briston will come home and be like, Carly, I have the best idea ever.
9:21
SPEAKER_00: Like a hyperbole type of mindset, and he just thinks it's gonna just blow up and be this best idea ever.
9:30
SPEAKER_00: And I really want you to ask yourself like what type of person are you?
9:33
SPEAKER_00: Are you a realistic person?
9:36
SPEAKER_00: So, you know, maybe you see the pros, maybe you see the cons.
9:40
SPEAKER_00: Are you a negative Nancy?
9:41
SPEAKER_00: Like you're just looking at the negatives and you're not even seeing any of the positives.
9:46
SPEAKER_00: Are you like Briston and you're overly positive and you think of an idea and you're like, this is gonna be it?
9:51
SPEAKER_00: We just hit the jackpot.
9:52
SPEAKER_00: Um, it's funny because I describe President Trump as a hyperbole speaker because anytime he talks, this is his mindset.
10:03
SPEAKER_00: And he's a businessman, he's an entrepreneur.
10:05
SPEAKER_00: Anytime he talks, it's this is the best, very hyperbole type mindset, optimistic, nothing, nothing like this has been done before, this is you know, all that kind of stuff.
10:16
SPEAKER_00: It's I I will say it is a trait of true entrepreneurs, is they are just overly optimistic.
10:23
SPEAKER_00: And but if you're sitting here and you're like, well, that's not me, like I'm not just naturally overly optimistic, that's okay too.
10:33
SPEAKER_00: Because the good news as Christians is that our confidence must come from the Lord, not from ourselves, and that's the difference between worldly entrepreneurs, worldly uh people who change their life, versus Christians.
10:57
SPEAKER_00: Christians, we should hold hold in and anchor our confidence in the Lord, and this this should give you like anchoring your plans and your change of life and the the life that you desire in the Lord, that should give you confidence to be like, okay, it's not just on me, like it's gonna work out because I have the Lord, and um, I just want to kind of go in and say, like, how do we obtain this confidence?
11:30
SPEAKER_00: How do we obtain godly confidence?
11:32
SPEAKER_00: Number one, you need to be praying, okay.
11:35
SPEAKER_00: So Psalms 37:4 says, Delight yourself also in the Lord, and he shall give you the desires of your heart.
11:43
SPEAKER_00: Okay, guys, I'm not just talking about selfish prayers, I am talking about seeking the Lord's will.
11:50
SPEAKER_00: It says, Delight yourself in the Lord.
11:52
SPEAKER_00: So we're delighting ourselves in who God is, in his will, in his characteristics, and from that, he will give us the desires of our hearts because the desires of our hearts will be godly.
12:05
SPEAKER_00: So you're wanting a change of life.
12:07
SPEAKER_00: My first question is, is that change rooted in godly in God's will?
12:13
SPEAKER_00: Is that change rooted in a godly character and godly traits and something that is going to benefit the kingdom of God?
12:21
SPEAKER_00: Yes or no?
12:22
SPEAKER_00: That that's the first question.
12:24
SPEAKER_00: If it's yes, great.
12:27
SPEAKER_00: Let's invite God into it because that's gonna give you confidence.
12:32
SPEAKER_00: Um before making a decision, you should pray about it.
12:38
SPEAKER_00: Because when we seek God's will, it allows us to act in confidence because we know and can depend on his provision rather than our willingness to try.
12:49
SPEAKER_00: Again, if he, if you, if you're you know, wanting to start a business or X, Y, Z, wanting to have a change of life, the life that you fulfill, maybe you financially want to be more stable and more at peace.
13:00
SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's pray about it.
13:03
SPEAKER_00: Let's go to God, say, God, I really desire this.
13:06
SPEAKER_00: Like, I I really, really want this.
13:08
SPEAKER_00: Is this your will?
13:09
SPEAKER_00: It does this line up with scripture.
13:11
SPEAKER_00: Look up scripture, seek the Lord.
13:13
SPEAKER_00: And then when he gives you an answer, which I firmly believe God still speaks, so he's gonna give you an answer.
13:21
SPEAKER_00: When he gives you that answer, that is his provision.
13:25
SPEAKER_00: So, for instance, when the people of Israel were going into the promised land and God told them, Hey, you're gonna have to fight Jericho, but don't worry, if you depend on me, you're gonna be successful.
13:40
SPEAKER_00: That was God's provision over their life.
13:42
SPEAKER_00: He already told them the end result.
13:44
SPEAKER_00: You're gonna win, you're gonna be good.
13:46
SPEAKER_00: Was it still scary?
13:48
SPEAKER_00: Heck yeah, it was still scary.
13:50
SPEAKER_00: They went from slaves in Egypt to now having to overtake Jericho.
13:56
SPEAKER_00: It was probably very scary for them.
13:58
SPEAKER_00: This city that had a wall around it and was super protected, and I'm sure it was very scary for them.
14:05
SPEAKER_00: But rather than shrink back in fear based on their abilities, they leaned into what God had promised.
14:13
SPEAKER_00: God had told Joshua, be strong, be courageous, for I am with you wherever you go.
14:18
SPEAKER_00: That's my that that's our confidence.
14:20
SPEAKER_00: That's that's Ben Briston and I's confidence.
14:23
SPEAKER_00: We have moved to Texas.
14:25
SPEAKER_00: I've quit my job.
14:26
SPEAKER_00: We've depended on this small business, and our confidence through all of that has been, well, this is this is the Lord's will.
14:34
SPEAKER_00: I know this is the Lord's will.
14:35
SPEAKER_00: I know God has called us to Texas, I know He's called us to depend on the business, I know He's called us to quit my job.
14:41
SPEAKER_00: So therefore, I have confidence.
14:43
SPEAKER_00: No matter how fearful I am about it, I have confidence in him because I know He's with us and I know He's gonna take care of us.
14:51
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
14:52
SPEAKER_00: C.S.
14:53
SPEAKER_00: Lewis, he says a quote, he says, courage, which is what courage is is what you is the action when you're fearful.
15:03
SPEAKER_00: So it's the thing that when people act despite fear, they're acting courageously.
15:10
SPEAKER_00: And C.
15:11
SPEAKER_00: S.
15:11
SPEAKER_00: Lewis says, courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.
15:20
SPEAKER_00: So what he is saying is that in your life there's going to be testing points where you're gonna have to decide, am I gonna act out of fear or am I gonna act encouraged despite my fear?
15:32
SPEAKER_00: And this holds people back.
15:34
SPEAKER_00: This is a mistake.
15:35
SPEAKER_00: They many times, guys, they choose fear over acting in courage because courage is scary.
15:42
SPEAKER_00: Like, just because someone's brave, just because we decided to move to Longview, just because we decided to pin on the business did not mean that we weren't afraid.
15:52
SPEAKER_00: We were very afraid.
15:53
SPEAKER_00: I remember laying in bed the first night and being like, oh my gosh, we actually did this.
15:57
SPEAKER_00: How are we gonna pay the bills?
15:59
SPEAKER_00: Like it was it was very scary.
16:02
SPEAKER_00: But when you have, again, the provision of the Lord, you can lean on that.
16:08
SPEAKER_00: It's not just on you, it takes the pressure off.
16:10
SPEAKER_00: You're like, okay, God, you told us to do this.
16:13
SPEAKER_00: This is your will.
16:14
SPEAKER_00: We're gonna we're gonna need your help, we're gonna need your dependence.
16:17
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so conquering fear doesn't mean we won't feel afraid, but that we act despite our fears because we know that in Christ we can do all things.
16:27
SPEAKER_00: That's what Paul says.
16:28
SPEAKER_00: I know people use it for sports, and that's great, but it is it is a time, a fearful time when you need that verse.
16:36
SPEAKER_00: I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me.
16:39
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so so that that's number one mistake.
16:42
SPEAKER_00: Do not live in fear, be courageous and depend on the Lord and pray and have his provision as your confidence.
16:52
SPEAKER_00: Number two for how do we obtain godly confidence is submission.
16:58
SPEAKER_00: Okay, Jeremiah 29, 11 says, For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not evil to give you a future and a hope.
17:08
SPEAKER_00: This is such a common verse that we, you know, have everywhere, right?
17:13
SPEAKER_00: Okay, what I feel like, and and I learned this later in life, but what I feel like we miss is the context around this verse.
17:20
SPEAKER_00: Okay, when God is prophesying through Jeremiah these words, the people of Israel were literally being taken as slaves out of their own country and exiled into a different country.
17:33
SPEAKER_00: Think about that.
17:34
SPEAKER_00: Think about another country coming to America or wherever you live, and they're taking all of your people and they're taking you into their country.
17:43
SPEAKER_00: Now you're gonna live in their country, you're leaving everything behind, and now you're gonna work as slaves for them.
17:49
SPEAKER_00: That's pretty scary, right?
17:51
SPEAKER_00: That's pretty fearful, and yet, even in that moment, God said, For I know the thoughts I have about you, I know the plans, thoughts of peace and not evil to give you a future and a hope.
18:02
SPEAKER_00: He so they're very fearful.
18:04
SPEAKER_00: And God is saying, Despite your fear and despite your circumstance, I still have a future and a hope for you.
18:09
SPEAKER_00: And they, but this is the catch, guys, they had to submit to God's will.
18:14
SPEAKER_00: God, the reason that they got exiled many times when you read in scripture in the Old Testament was because of their lack of faith, their rebellion, and their love of sin.
18:26
SPEAKER_00: They were not submitted to the Lord, they were not dependent on the Lord, they were dependent on everything else, and it caused a lot of hot havoc in their life.
18:34
SPEAKER_00: So I just want to say that um fear will limit your faith in God's goodness.
18:42
SPEAKER_00: So if you and I'm just gonna read this when we experience hardship, we are faced with questions that either build or break our dependence on God.
18:51
SPEAKER_00: Carrying a heart of submission in times of hardship and praise helps us remember his provision over our lives, right?
18:59
SPEAKER_00: So, number one was prayer, right?
19:01
SPEAKER_00: So you have the promise of the Lord.
19:03
SPEAKER_00: Hey, I'm gonna send you into a promised land of milk and honey, and you're gonna be as numerous as the stars, right?
19:09
SPEAKER_00: What he gave Abraham, the promise of Abraham.
19:12
SPEAKER_00: Well, now they're being exiled out of their country.
19:15
SPEAKER_00: Um, God, what happened to your promise?
19:17
SPEAKER_00: What happened?
19:19
SPEAKER_00: And God saying, No, no, no, I still have a future and a hope for you.
19:22
SPEAKER_00: Despite this thing that's happening, I still am keeping my promise.
19:26
SPEAKER_00: And that comes with submitting to him despite hard times.
19:31
SPEAKER_00: It's not that bad times equal a bad God.
19:35
SPEAKER_00: Many times we think of bad things that happen, and our human flesh says, Oh no, we got a bad God.
19:42
SPEAKER_00: He's not good.
19:43
SPEAKER_00: Because why would a good God let bad things happen?
19:46
SPEAKER_00: But God is good regardless of the times we face.
19:50
SPEAKER_00: And guys, I'm just gonna be honest.
19:53
SPEAKER_00: Um, many times the bad things that are happening in our life are a result of our own human choices, whether that was our literal ours decisions or another human's choice.
20:06
SPEAKER_00: Like we live in a broken fallen world.
20:09
SPEAKER_00: So many times bad things that happen aren't because God wanted them to happen, they're because we're broken, sinful people, and we did something to cause that to happen.
20:20
SPEAKER_00: Kind of like the people of Israel.
20:21
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
20:22
SPEAKER_00: So that's number two, submission.
20:24
SPEAKER_00: You gotta be submitted to have godly confidence.
20:28
SPEAKER_00: The last one is knowing the word, knowing the Bible.
20:30
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
20:31
SPEAKER_00: It says, Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful, but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in his law he meditates day and night.
20:45
SPEAKER_00: Psalms 1, 1 through 2.
20:46
SPEAKER_00: I love that.
20:47
SPEAKER_00: Psalms starts with this Blessed is the man who meditates on the law of the Lord day and night, and his delight is in it.
20:56
SPEAKER_00: Beautiful verse.
20:57
SPEAKER_00: So it's hard to be confident in someone's character if you barely know them.
21:02
SPEAKER_00: Think about that.
21:03
SPEAKER_00: Think about someone that you barely know.
21:05
SPEAKER_00: You mean you mean a stranger, hey, or you have an acquaintance that you you know their name, but you don't know much about them.
21:11
SPEAKER_00: It's really hard to put your full trust in them if you barely know them, and like really depend on them if you barely know them.
21:18
SPEAKER_00: You're probably not going to because you barely know them.
21:21
SPEAKER_00: It's the same way with God.
21:22
SPEAKER_00: So, how can we expect to trust him if we barely know his word?
21:26
SPEAKER_00: It's so funny because, guys, if you really read the Bible, the Bible is great.
21:31
SPEAKER_00: The Bible has a bunch of different types of literature in it.
21:34
SPEAKER_00: It's got stories, it's got poetry, it has, yes, laws written, but it's not just a rule book of laws.
21:42
SPEAKER_00: It is you're engaging in such rich literature to learn about the character of God.
21:49
SPEAKER_00: You're learning about his character, how he interacts with humans, how he interacts with a broken, fallen world, his redemption plan.
21:57
SPEAKER_00: He's the main character.
21:59
SPEAKER_00: So if you Only read certain books of the Bible, or if you don't read it at all, you only listen to your pastor on Sunday or Wednesday or go to a conference once a year, you're not gonna really know God.
22:14
SPEAKER_00: Like you really, guys, if you want to tackle fear, you really gotta know God.
22:19
SPEAKER_00: You really gotta know his word.
22:21
SPEAKER_00: Because let me tell y'all, seeing the people of Israel, seeing Abraham's decision to leave his country and follow the Lord's voice, seeing Noah build an ark when it didn't even rain yet, seeing these faithful people of God, Mary, who literally had Jesus and she was a virgin, seeing these people of God do incredible, um, courageous acts despite the fear and the unknown and the risk taking, guys.
22:54
SPEAKER_00: Knowing those stories, knowing those scriptures, it builds your faith, it builds your confidence.
22:58
SPEAKER_00: You have to know the word of God.
23:00
SPEAKER_00: My biggest piece of advice when breaking the habit of fear is to learn about God's character and depend on his word more than you depend on your own understanding.
23:11
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
23:12
SPEAKER_00: Proverbs talks about this, it's a famous verse.
23:14
SPEAKER_00: We we all know it, we see it in journals.
23:16
SPEAKER_00: Trust in the Lord with all your heart, all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.
23:22
SPEAKER_00: In all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will make your path straight.
23:25
SPEAKER_00: Um, do we do that?
23:27
SPEAKER_00: No, we're not very good at doing that.
23:30
SPEAKER_00: Actually, many times we make decisions based on our own understanding, and we probably don't even pray about it.
23:37
SPEAKER_00: We probably just look at the situation and make decisions based on our perspective, and we think guys, I think something we really struggle with, and when we're talking about fear, is we think our perspective is God's perspective, and it's not.
23:54
SPEAKER_00: God is omnipresent, he's all knowing, he's all powerful, he works outside of time, he's outside of time.
24:02
SPEAKER_00: We are so limited in what we see, in our perspective, even in our knowledge, and so we have to stop depending on that as a decision maker for the life we're gonna have or if we're gonna make choices or not, because it it will limit you.
24:20
SPEAKER_00: You will be limited by fear because you're a limited human being, so you have to know his word.
24:28
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so that's number one.
24:30
SPEAKER_00: Common mistake, fear.
24:32
SPEAKER_00: Glad we tackled that one.
24:33
SPEAKER_00: Number two, this is gonna ruffle, this is really gonna ruffle feathers, so just be prepared, okay?
24:38
SPEAKER_00: Number two is debt, okay?
24:41
SPEAKER_00: This is a common mistake that people make.
24:44
SPEAKER_00: So this might shock you because um I think uh the world does a very good job at advertising debt as a way to get the life you want.
24:57
SPEAKER_00: And my argument against that is that it actually restricts us and confines us to a limited, to a life limited by cash flow and minimum payments.
25:11
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so I get it.
25:13
SPEAKER_00: You're like, but how do I create a life that I want if I don't take on debt?
25:21
SPEAKER_00: It's a great question, okay?
25:23
SPEAKER_00: But I'm gonna just say that Proverbs talks a lot about the wise versus the foolish.
25:31
SPEAKER_00: And one of the things that it says is that the rich rules over the poor and the borrower is a servant to the lender.
25:38
SPEAKER_00: So, regardless of your denomination, regardless of your Christian denomination, okay, Proverbs clearly explains that debt is unwise.
25:46
SPEAKER_00: Go read the book for yourself, go research it yourself.
25:50
SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying if you take out debt, you're sinning, but I am saying you better be careful because you're probably gonna act foolishly and in unwise behavior.
26:00
SPEAKER_00: The world is not gonna tell you that because all of these companies are making, guys, all these companies are making buttloads of money off of your debt because you're paying interest.
26:12
SPEAKER_00: I mean, think about credit cards, think about student loans.
26:15
SPEAKER_00: The government is making tons of money off of student loans, so um, but it's unwise because it constricts the borrower, and this is what I mean.
26:28
SPEAKER_00: So, how do you create a life you want if you don't take on debt?
26:34
SPEAKER_00: This is gonna be hard, your flesh isn't gonna like this, but it's godly stewardship, okay?
26:41
SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying you just don't take on debt, okay?
26:46
SPEAKER_00: But what I am saying is please consider the type of debt and the way you handle debt, because that's gonna determine if you can achieve the life you actually want.
27:04
SPEAKER_00: Number one, they're impatient, they want it now, and number two, they lack self-control, which goes hand in hand.
27:12
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so they want the new car.
27:14
SPEAKER_00: You you see the new car.
27:15
SPEAKER_00: Oh, oh, the new car.
27:17
SPEAKER_00: Oh, well, with my job, I can afford that monthly payment for six years, for six years, I can afford that monthly payment.
27:23
SPEAKER_00: So why would I not do it?
27:25
SPEAKER_00: The car's reliable, it's it's it has so many features in it, it's so nice, you know, right?
27:31
SPEAKER_00: For middle class guys, cars are like we we celebrate cars as like a status thing.
27:39
SPEAKER_00: Like, if you drive a nice car, you you know, you y'all get what I'm saying.
27:44
SPEAKER_00: So, um, so you would rather have the new car than pay or save, sorry, and pay monthly, then save your money wisely and pay for an older model in cash.
27:59
SPEAKER_00: I mean, we guys, we experienced this.
28:02
SPEAKER_00: We got a car payment, we got a Jeep, it was like a 2021 Jeep Grand Cherokee, loved it, it was super bougie, super nice, had all the features in it.
28:13
SPEAKER_00: Um, and it was like our just our car payment was five hundred and something dollars.
28:21
SPEAKER_00: Just our car payment, okay.
28:23
SPEAKER_00: That didn't include insurance, that didn't include gas, that didn't include maintenance, like old changes and new tires and things like that.
28:33
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so add all of that on top of that, and it's a lot more than just$500 a month, but this is so common with car payments and student loans and credit cards and business and personal loans.
28:47
SPEAKER_00: I see, like, we went to college, so many college students are like, Yeah, I'll figure it out after the four years, like it'll be okay.
28:53
SPEAKER_00: I'll be making enough money, it'll be fine.
28:56
SPEAKER_00: I like if you're an adult, which most of my listeners are, you know that life is is expensive regardless on if you have debt or not.
29:04
SPEAKER_00: I mean, like, your rent, you have to pay for rent, you have to pay for housing, you have to pay for food, you have to pay for insurance, you have to pay for bills that don't even count as debt, groceries, like it's already expensive enough, gas to get to working back.
29:22
SPEAKER_00: So then you pile debt on top of it, and you're making 50 minimum payments a month, minute 50 debt payments a month or whatever.
29:35
SPEAKER_00: And guess what?
29:37
SPEAKER_00: You don't have any money left over to save or to do anything with.
29:42
SPEAKER_00: If an emergency happens, well, what am I gonna do?
29:45
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna put it on my credit card.
29:46
SPEAKER_00: Oh, well, if we want to go on vacation, I'm gonna put it on my credit card.
29:49
SPEAKER_00: Oh, well, if I want to do this, I'm gonna take out a loan.
29:52
SPEAKER_00: And you get to the end of your month, and then you think, well, the issue is I just don't make enough money.
29:59
SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna argue that that that's not actually the issue.
30:04
SPEAKER_00: Okay, because I guarantee you the majority of us make enough money.
30:10
SPEAKER_00: We it's just how we manage our money.
30:12
SPEAKER_00: So, and then this is another thing, guys.
30:14
SPEAKER_00: When I talk about godly stewardship, okay, debt payments.
30:20
SPEAKER_00: The problem is you never learn how to manage your personal finances, you never learn how to have patience, you never learn self-control, you never learn how to budget, you never learn how to sacrifice, and you also never learn how to adapt to change.
30:34
SPEAKER_00: You also lack the discipline that would help you build wealth and achieve real results.
30:40
SPEAKER_00: So, you know, it's it's funny because I think a common misunderstanding is we think, yes, does income affect your building wealth and achieving the life that you want?
30:52
SPEAKER_00: Yes, income does affect it, but regardless of if you make$200,000 a year or if you make$50,000 a year, if you spend more than you make, you're still broke at the end of the year.
31:07
SPEAKER_00: Like your net worth really isn't determined by how much your income is.
31:12
SPEAKER_00: Your net worth is determined by how you manage your money.
31:16
SPEAKER_00: Sorry, my husband is looking at me through the window.
31:19
SPEAKER_00: But your net worth is is based on how you manage your money, it's based on how much you're investing, how much you're saving.
31:26
SPEAKER_00: It's really not based on your income.
31:28
SPEAKER_00: It's really not.
31:29
SPEAKER_00: Um, because you can spend all of your income and still be broke.
31:33
SPEAKER_00: And I also want to say that you're never gonna live in a state of peace.
31:39
SPEAKER_00: Because all of your money is going to all these different payments.
31:43
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
31:44
SPEAKER_00: And Brist and I have seen the effects of debt.
31:46
SPEAKER_00: Okay, it's frustrating, it's limiting, it keeps you in a cycle where you're never actually getting ahead.
31:52
SPEAKER_00: Because guess what?
31:53
SPEAKER_00: You have that car loan for six years.
31:55
SPEAKER_00: Well, odds are that car after six years is gonna be so so run down with so many miles, you're gonna have to trade it in for a new one.
32:03
SPEAKER_00: So rather than taking that$500 and saving it every month for a new car or an emergency fund, you're putting it towards the dealership or the car place.
32:15
SPEAKER_00: And they're they're the ones making money, not you.
32:18
SPEAKER_00: And guys, you're paying interest on something that goes down in value.
32:22
SPEAKER_00: I mean, don't get me started on all this, okay?
32:24
SPEAKER_00: I can't I can go on and on about debt.
32:26
SPEAKER_00: Um, this is what I am gonna say.
32:29
SPEAKER_00: Since we decided only to buy cash cars for our personal, um, we have a 2006 Ford Expedition.
32:38
SPEAKER_00: We love her, we call her old reliable.
32:41
SPEAKER_00: Um, and and I will say, like, when you're buying an older car, consider the previous owner.
32:47
SPEAKER_00: Our previous owner was an old man who took such good care of that car.
32:51
SPEAKER_00: Like, he he drove it to church and back, pretty much.
32:55
SPEAKER_00: The back seats were hardly ever used.
32:59
SPEAKER_00: So consider the previous owner when you're buying an older car.
33:03
SPEAKER_00: But since we've done that, since we decided, hey, we're not taking out student loans, that was something we decided before we met.
33:11
SPEAKER_00: We wanted to pay cash for school.
33:13
SPEAKER_00: I'm so glad we both decided to do that.
33:15
SPEAKER_00: Since Briston decided, hey, I'm not taking out a business loan.
33:18
SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm not, I'm not doing that.
33:20
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna grow the business over time.
33:22
SPEAKER_00: Since we decided every month we pay off our credit cards, and we don't put something on our credit card that we can't pay.
33:30
SPEAKER_00: We've seen positive results, and these are the positive results that I'm gonna try to convince you about.
33:35
SPEAKER_00: Number one, we have more cash flow.
33:38
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so this is literally my favorite part.
33:41
SPEAKER_00: So rather than sending your money to 50 different debt payments, we can decide how we want to spend our money.
33:48
SPEAKER_00: We decide what do we want to save for?
33:51
SPEAKER_00: Where do we want to give?
33:52
SPEAKER_00: If an emergency happens, it's okay.
33:55
SPEAKER_00: Odds are with most emergencies, most emergencies are um like a thousand dollars or less.
34:01
SPEAKER_00: Guess what?
34:02
SPEAKER_00: We have the money, we're not gonna freak out about it, or we're not gonna put it on a credit card.
34:07
SPEAKER_00: If we want to go on vacation next year, great.
34:10
SPEAKER_00: We have the cash flow to save for the vacation.
34:15
SPEAKER_00: If you know a ministry needs funds, like we had a group of guys go to Pakistan for a ministry trip, and we got to give to that cause on on top of tithing what we tithe every month.
34:29
SPEAKER_00: And it wasn't like a big stressor to give to that cause because we had the money saved.
34:35
SPEAKER_00: Um, if we want to help a charity or a cause, we can give without stressing about it and without worrying about like how are we gonna pay the bills or what are we gonna do for the rest of the month.
34:45
SPEAKER_00: Um, and I just want to say living like this is not easy.
34:50
SPEAKER_00: Like choosing, hey, we're gonna the majority of our groceries are gonna be cooking from home, or hey, we're gonna we're gonna drive an older car that doesn't look as bougie as the car we could have for monthly payments, but but we're gonna drive an older car, which I don't really care about that, but you know, some people do, or you know, we're gonna sacrifice, um, we're gonna work in college, we're gonna work over the summer, we're gonna save that money, and we're gonna use it towards school rather than and and this is the crazy part, guys.
35:24
SPEAKER_00: We we lived in like the oldest norms at our school, okay.
35:28
SPEAKER_00: So, like, you could have lived in the nice apartments, we could have done that, but we chose to live in the older norms to save money on housing, and we chose to do college athletics to get a scholarship, and we chose to work part-time on top of that.
35:42
SPEAKER_00: Like, you're still gonna have to make sacrifices, it's not gonna be easy, and it's not gonna look like the rest of the world, the majority of the world, but I will say it's been worth it, it has been totally worth it.
35:58
SPEAKER_00: Um, for our first few years of being married, our vacations were like camping trips, and you know, we went to the ark and we did that nice vacation, but like we, you know, we had friends who went overseas or went to Hawaii, and that's great.
36:17
SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't want you to compare your life to other people because you know they could have afforded it and they could have paid for cash, and that was great.
36:23
SPEAKER_00: But for us at that time, like we had other goals.
36:27
SPEAKER_00: The life we wanted was to Briston wanted to live off the business, and I wanted to stay home, and so we had to look at well, what is the life that we want?
36:35
SPEAKER_00: And then we had to say, well, like, how are we gonna get there?
36:39
SPEAKER_00: We're not gonna get there by going on these bougie vacations every year, like, we're gonna have to go to Petty Jean in Arkansas instead of going to Hawaii, or we're gonna have to go to the Ark for four days instead of going to New York City.
36:55
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
36:56
SPEAKER_00: There's just like different things that you have to sacrifice um in order to accomplish this, but it is so worth it.
37:03
SPEAKER_00: Um, it's just so nice being at peace, like, you know, when you're making financial decisions.
37:11
SPEAKER_00: So uh that's number one for the positive results.
37:15
SPEAKER_00: Number two for the positive results is we can build a business.
37:18
SPEAKER_00: Um, I think like again, I think people assume like, oh, I just need more income, or like the business just has to make outrageous amount of money in order for me to hire people.
37:32
SPEAKER_00: And again, I'm gonna argue that yes, you don't need to live in poverty, and like the business does need to have profit, you know, you need to be making more than you're spending, but really it comes down to how you manage your money.
37:46
SPEAKER_00: Um, we only have two debts, and they're very small in our business, and we have like maintained that um because we've wanted to grow the business and we've realized, hey, the more cash flow we have, the more options we have.
38:03
SPEAKER_00: So we try as much as possible to pay for everything in cash.
38:08
SPEAKER_00: Our trailers, all of our trailers are paid for in cash, all of our equipment's paid for in cash.
38:12
SPEAKER_00: We have one truck that has a small payment on it, and then our newest truck has a small payment on it.
38:19
SPEAKER_00: But even with those two small payments, we pay extra every month on our debt payments to pay them off early.
38:27
SPEAKER_00: So even if you have debt, I I encourage you to pay extra to pay it off early so you're not trapped in the interest game that they trap you in.
38:39
SPEAKER_00: So, what are the benefits of this with our business?
38:43
SPEAKER_00: Number one, we have been able to um save money in the business, like we actually have business savings.
38:52
SPEAKER_00: Number two, we're able to hire employees.
38:54
SPEAKER_00: Um, I will say because Briston and I really limited our personal expenses, we were able to save and keep money in the business rather than paying ourselves the full amount that we gained from the business, we we chose not to do that because we wanted to expand the business and which which allowed us to have business savings, but it also allowed us to hire employees because rather than paying ourselves a super, super high salary, we split it in two.
39:25
SPEAKER_00: So we have two salaries.
39:26
SPEAKER_00: So now we're paying us and we're paying someone else.
39:28
SPEAKER_00: And this helps delegate and it also helps expand the business.
39:32
SPEAKER_00: Um, number three, we don't worry about paying ourselves during the slow months.
39:39
SPEAKER_00: So every business has like its high times and it has its low times.
39:42
SPEAKER_00: Usually around Christmas, that's a pretty low time for us because you know, families are worrying about other expenses like Christmas, and it's just a slower running season.
39:54
SPEAKER_00: And so, you know, we might have a negative month in the business.
39:59
SPEAKER_00: We might have more expenses than we do a profit, and that's pretty common.
40:04
SPEAKER_00: You every business will have its great high months and then it will have its lower months where it's it doesn't produce as much.
40:11
SPEAKER_00: Um, we don't worry because we have savings, because we have cash flow, and because we're paying ourselves minimum because our personal debt isn't outrageous.
40:24
SPEAKER_00: Um, and then we're also able to upgrade equipment because we're not taking all the money, so we're able to invest it back in the business and get a nicer truck or a nicer trailer or nicer tent or whatever it is.
40:36
SPEAKER_00: Um I'm just gonna say you can't build unlimited cash flow.
40:41
SPEAKER_00: Like if you're if the life you want is oh, I want to have my own business or I don't even know what whatever it is, you can't build that life on limited cash flow.
40:52
SPEAKER_00: Like you need cash to to build it.
40:57
SPEAKER_00: And you can't build the life you want with little to no savings.
41:03
SPEAKER_00: So I I you know, when we're talking to other people, whether it's our friends or just other people that we know, a common thing is is income.
41:11
SPEAKER_00: Well, I just need to make more money, I just need to make more money.
41:14
SPEAKER_00: That's great.
41:15
SPEAKER_00: Like you should, I think you should desire to want to make more money.
41:20
SPEAKER_00: But if your current money habits are poor, like like you're you have bad money habits right now, what makes you think when you get more money, you that's just gonna automatically change?
41:33
SPEAKER_00: Because more money isn't gonna build you the life that you want.
41:36
SPEAKER_00: It's the habits and the choices and the disciplines that you make.
41:40
SPEAKER_00: I encourage you to look up um just common jobs of people who usually are able to build wealth.
41:53
SPEAKER_00: And one of those common jobs are actually teachers, and teachers make a very, very low salary, but again, it's it's what you do with your money, the type of house that you buy, how you spend your vacations, how you spend on food, the cars that you drive.
42:10
SPEAKER_00: Like these little decisions add up over time.
42:13
SPEAKER_00: I talk about you know, in personal finance, you talk about compound interest.
42:17
SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, your decisions compound, and they're either gonna compound for your success and for the life that you want, or they're gonna compound against you.
42:26
SPEAKER_00: So that is number two on um debt.
42:33
SPEAKER_00: Debt is a common mistake that people do.
42:36
SPEAKER_00: Number three, never growing.
42:38
SPEAKER_00: So, you know, you graduate high school or you graduate from college, you get the degree, and you think, oh, I'm good.
42:46
SPEAKER_00: I'm no longer a student.
42:47
SPEAKER_00: And sadly, I feel like many of us, we just stop investing in things that grow us.
42:54
SPEAKER_00: We kind of change our mindset of oh, I'm now a master, I'm not a student.
43:00
SPEAKER_00: And if you read, successful people look at life through the lens of a student, not a master.
43:07
SPEAKER_00: They see themselves as a continual learner, not a teacher who knows it all.
43:11
SPEAKER_00: So ask yourself, like, what have I learned in the past year?
43:16
SPEAKER_00: Have I grown at all?
43:18
SPEAKER_00: And and then there are seven areas that I'm gonna give you to really evaluate like your growth.
43:24
SPEAKER_00: Number one is your faith.
43:26
SPEAKER_00: So your relationship with God.
43:28
SPEAKER_00: Are you, if you look back to last year and you compare last year to this year, have you grown in your relationship with God, whether it's closer together or whether it's your knowledge of who he is, your knowledge of being a Christian?
43:44
SPEAKER_00: Like, have you gone from milk to meat, if you will, like we're called to?
43:48
SPEAKER_00: In your faith category?
43:49
SPEAKER_00: What about in your family?
43:51
SPEAKER_00: Have you grown as a family?
43:52
SPEAKER_00: Have you grown in learning how to better love your kids or love your spouse?
43:58
SPEAKER_00: Like, what about your marriage?
44:00
SPEAKER_00: What about your family life?
44:01
SPEAKER_00: Like, are there are you growing better to the life that you want?
44:05
SPEAKER_00: Or is it kind of the same?
44:06
SPEAKER_00: Like, you look at last year, you look at this year, you're like, well, nothing's really changed.
44:09
SPEAKER_00: Like, I want to grow and I want to be better, but nothing's really changed.
44:13
SPEAKER_00: What about in your field, in your job, in your career?
44:16
SPEAKER_00: Like, if you are a business owner or if you have a job, like have you grown in your skills?
44:24
SPEAKER_00: Have you grown in maybe in an area that you want to go into?
44:28
SPEAKER_00: Like for me, with my writing, I if I if I want to publish books and if I want to be a good writer, I gotta grow in those skills.
44:36
SPEAKER_00: So that means that I'm looking up from previous successful authors how they do their work and how they write and learning from them and reading books and evaluating.
44:47
SPEAKER_00: Okay, the next one is fitness.
44:50
SPEAKER_00: Have you grown in your fitness?
44:52
SPEAKER_00: Like, do you steward your body?
44:54
SPEAKER_00: Do you move on a daily basis?
44:57
SPEAKER_00: Um, in your finances.
44:59
SPEAKER_00: Uh, a big like sadly, I just I just think so many people when it comes to their finances, they just don't know.
45:05
SPEAKER_00: Like they're just doing what they think is best, again, leaning on your own understanding, and they just don't know.
45:11
SPEAKER_00: And the sad part is that's not gonna get you to the life that you want.
45:15
SPEAKER_00: Like, you have Google, you have the internet, you have YouTube, you have podcasts, you can you you have Amazon where you can buy probably any book out there, and if it's not on Amazon, you go to Barnes and Noble's or you can go to Books and Million.
45:28
SPEAKER_00: Like, there's no excuse to not know how to invest or to not know how to budget or to not know how to manage your personal finance, like it's literally out there, guys.
45:39
SPEAKER_00: Um, just Google it.
45:40
SPEAKER_00: Um, so your finances, what about your friends?
45:43
SPEAKER_00: Have you grown in relationship?
45:45
SPEAKER_00: Have you grown in how to be a better friend?
45:47
SPEAKER_00: Have you met new people?
45:49
SPEAKER_00: And then in your fun, like, what's a new hobby that you try?
45:55
SPEAKER_00: Like, for me, after my pregnancy, I'm gonna train for a marathon and I'm gonna try pickleball.
46:00
SPEAKER_00: And my new hobby might be pickleball.
46:01
SPEAKER_00: I also want to get into sewing eventually and learning how to sew, just growing as a person.
46:07
SPEAKER_00: Um, I think it matters if you really want a fulfilling life, it starts with finding something you didn't previously know and growing in it.
46:15
SPEAKER_00: Um, and I just want to say like there are inexpensive ways to grow.
46:20
SPEAKER_00: You don't have to go to a big bougie conference if you can't afford it, you don't have to take a class or go back to school if you can't afford it.
46:28
SPEAKER_00: Just like I said, listen to podcasts, find books, watch YouTube videos.
46:33
SPEAKER_00: That this is how Briston started in the business world.
46:36
SPEAKER_00: Like, how did he start growing and being an entrepreneur and knowing what to do?
46:40
SPEAKER_00: He literally went to YouTube and just YouTube previous entrepreneurs who were successful in their stories.
46:46
SPEAKER_00: Um, you can learn a lot from it.
46:48
SPEAKER_00: I think the biggest thing with growing is we're not setting goals.
46:53
SPEAKER_00: If you're if you don't have goals, you're not growing because goals is how you grow.
46:58
SPEAKER_00: Um, so it starts with setting goals.
47:00
SPEAKER_00: You um setting goals helps us maintain a constant state of growth and keeps us on track.
47:07
SPEAKER_00: The way that we set effective goals is by using the SMART method.
47:12
SPEAKER_00: This is your goal is specific.
47:15
SPEAKER_00: Your goal is actually measurable.
47:17
SPEAKER_00: Like, hey, I'm gonna run a 5k, so that's measurable, like I have a distance in mind.
47:23
SPEAKER_00: Um, it's achievable.
47:26
SPEAKER_00: Like, oh, I can actually do this.
47:28
SPEAKER_00: Um, it's realistic, like it's actually something that I can fit in my schedule and fit in my lifestyle, you know.
47:35
SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna learn how to surf when I live in Texas or a landlocked state, you know, like maybe once on vacation, but I'm not gonna become like a famous surfer.
47:48
SPEAKER_00: So being realistic and then also being timely, setting a time limit.
47:52
SPEAKER_00: For me personally, I like New Year's resolutions.
47:54
SPEAKER_00: Um, because it's like, hey, I want to do this in a year.
47:58
SPEAKER_00: So I that's my time limit.
47:59
SPEAKER_00: A year.
47:59
SPEAKER_00: I have a year to accomplish this.
48:01
SPEAKER_00: So these are the best ways to plan to have a successful plan for growing.
48:07
SPEAKER_00: Um, these are the three common mistakes that hold us back: fear, debt, and not growing.
48:15
SPEAKER_00: If you live a life where you're courageous and depending on the Lord for your confidence, if you're living a life where you're managing your money wisely and having limited debt, if you are growing, I I guarantee you you're gonna have a very fulfilling life.
48:34
SPEAKER_00: Um you're gonna enjoy life, you're gonna build a life that you actually desire.
48:38
SPEAKER_00: You're not gonna be wishy washy.
48:41
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I wish I would have done this.
48:43
SPEAKER_00: You're not gonna live in reg in regret.
48:45
SPEAKER_00: So I hope that this was encouraging for you guys.
48:48
SPEAKER_00: It was kind of a longer episode, but um yeah, I I just want to see you prosper.
48:54
SPEAKER_00: And these are three ways to prosper.
48:57
SPEAKER_00: So, see you guys on the next episode.