Latest / Dennis Rox: Confessional Self-Improvement & Psychology / 150. Peer Pressure

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150. Peer Pressure · Dennis Rox: Confessional Self-Improvement & Psychology

0:00
Toliy: On this week's episode, if you get influenced by outside variables, especially if it's in the negative way.
0:07
Toliy: Yeah.
0:07
Toliy: I think there's still something inside of you that feels that way.
0:10
Toliy: That's the only way for that to happen.
0:12
Toliy: Wow.
0:12
Eldar: That is very interesting.
0:14
Eldar: If you feel frustrated.
0:16
Eldar: Well, coming out of that conversation in a negative way, you are the problem.
0:20
Eldar: There's no way around this.
0:21
Eldar: My dad's not.
0:22
Eldar: This is called the same thing that he does.
0:23
Eldar: So my dad's not part of the problem.
0:26
Eldar: I never once said that, man.
0:27
Eldar: That the individual who is ignorant, that is the go to answer.
0:30
Eldar: I don't remember that.
0:31
Eldar: The individual who says they constantly don't remember the things that they say, they just constantly use the same excuse.
0:35
Eldar: And they think they can get away with it.
0:36
Eldar: Just not here.
0:36
Eldar: Ah, fuck you.
0:44
Eldar: Alright.
0:45
Eldar: Guys, today's topic.
0:48
Eldar: Harris, would you like to?
0:49
Eldar: Or the question.
0:50
Eldar: Yeah, Harris, you want us for
0:51
Mike: live now, would you like to take a guess of
0:55
Eldar: what it is for today, Harris?
0:58
Harris: Not letting people influence
1:00
Eldar: us.
1:00
Eldar: No, but why, right?
1:01
Eldar: A lot of the times we get influenced by people around us, especially let's just say our parents, right?
1:08
Eldar: Uh, maybe our loved one, the other half, our brothers, our sisters, maybe our peers, right?
1:17
Eldar: And we're under the impression sometimes that they want the best for us, right?
1:21
Eldar: They'll give us advice here and there.
1:23
Eldar: And then you go out and try to act that advice out the next thing, you know, the application of that advice in real world actually is not very applicable doesn't work.
1:32
Eldar: Nearly gets you fired and get you fired.
1:35
Eldar: Correct.
1:37
Eldar: Have you walking around with a bad attitude?
1:39
Eldar: They have you walking around with a bad attitude with a nasty look on your face with a nasty look on your face.
1:44
Eldar: And generally you just don't feel good because you went maybe against yourself, against what you believed, right.
1:51
Eldar: Or what you thought was right.
1:53
Eldar: But you allow the external influence to influence you and not in such a positive way.
1:58
Eldar: Why did this happen?
2:00
Eldar: Right.
2:02
Eldar: I think it happens to many.
2:03
Harris: Right.
2:04
Eldar: We're constantly getting influence, but the influencers, you know, by the people that love us, quote unquote, right.
2:11
Eldar: By our friends, the next thing you know, we take their advice, but the advice didn't serve us well.
2:17
Harris: A
2:18
Eldar: lot of times this happens.
2:19
Toliy: So, so, so what is the topic more on like?
2:24
Toliy: Um, because like, you're not going to like, not get influenced by, by anybody, right?
2:29
Toliy: Like, you're still going to always be influenced by some people.
2:33
Toliy: It's just being influenced in the right, right ways, right?
2:37
Toliy: Yeah.
2:38
Mike: Is it the right ways or, um, being aware of it, but like, um, knowing it and then checking if it makes sense?
2:47
Toliy: Well, that's probably a more advanced thing.
2:49
Toliy: Cause like, yeah, like, like that's like.
2:53
Toliy: , um, taking things that like, I don't know, like face value and actually being able to
2:59
Harris: mm-hmm.
3:00
Harris: Toliy: Assess what's going on and like, A pretty hard trait, you know?
3:06
Harris: Mm-hmm . Like, like, not like being influenced at all by like, how someone looks or how they say something, or who they are or what.
3:13
Harris: Mm-hmm . But being influenced, but, but like, purely listening to their words, that's like nearly a near, not, not impossible, but I would say extremely, extremely hard.
3:24
Mike: Okay.
3:25
Eldar: Yeah.
3:25
Eldar: Just generally speaking, um, maybe don't have the ability to distinguish between what's good advice.
3:32
Eldar: What's bad advice.
3:33
Eldar: Right.
3:34
Eldar: Um, or understand the repercussions behind certain actions that you've taken based on the advice you you've gotten.
3:41
Eldar: Right.
3:41
Eldar: I think you're going through something right now, Mike, where you are advising someone right to some degree about their life obstacles and stuff like that.
3:49
Eldar: And you propose a very interesting or very difficult dilemma that can happen.
3:54
Eldar: You know what I mean?
3:56
Eldar: Um, I mean, lives are at stake, let's just say.
3:58
Eldar: People's lives are at stake, meaning like, you know, the trajectory of their lives, right?
4:02
Eldar: If it's a complicated situation in a relationship, like if somebody's married,
4:06
Harris: right?
4:06
Eldar: Looking for divorce or whatever,
4:08
Harris: you
4:08
Eldar: know?
4:09
Eldar: If somebody has some kind of other issues and some kind of other problems, so.
4:13
Eldar: I think, you know, I mean, one topic is to learn how to properly get advice, and then there's another topic on how to properly give advice, right?
4:21
Toliy: One thing I also wanted to add is what we were saying.
4:25
Toliy: I still think, like, this is a hunch so far, but maybe we can prove it out one way or another.
4:32
Toliy: I still think that if you get influenced.
4:36
Toliy: By outside, like, uh, outside variables, especially if it's in a negative way.
4:43
Eldar: Yeah.
4:44
Toliy: I think there's still something inside of you that feels that way.
4:47
Toliy: That's the only way for that to happen.
4:49
Eldar: Wow.
4:49
Eldar: That is very interesting.
4:51
Eldar: Yeah.
4:51
Eldar: Why are you just getting like a shortcut to the fucking point?
4:54
Harris: What the fuck?
4:55
Eldar: Yeah.
4:56
Eldar: Listen to what he said.
4:58
Toliy: Yeah.
4:58
Toliy: If you, if you get, uh, I.
5:01
Toliy: It probably goes for the positive things as well, but definitely for the negative ones, right?
5:09
Toliy: If you get influenced in that kind of way, there's, there's a portion of you.
5:14
Toliy: It could be large, you know, medium, small, that's feels that way as well.
5:19
Eldar: Okay.
5:19
Eldar: Now, my question to you is, or the pushback is, did you feel that way prior to getting advice or did you feel, or did you get influence and then you started feeling that way?
5:29
Toliy: I think that you, you do feel that way, but it's a very, probably minor, could be like tamed version of it.
5:37
Toliy: And then somebody else pushes you over the edge.
5:39
Toliy: Somebody pushes you over the edge at that time on that subject.
5:43
Eldar: Interesting.
5:43
Eldar: Wow.
5:44
Toliy: Um,
5:45
Eldar: so then we're talking about a different situation here.
5:47
Toliy: Yeah,
5:48
Eldar: I I I think so.
5:50
Eldar: What do you think Harris?
5:52
Eldar: Did you understand what he said?
5:54
Harris: No,
5:55
Eldar: okay So, you know how sometimes you're like, hey somebody else influenced me, you know, like oh man, they got into my head, right?
6:02
Eldar: They put doubts into your head, right?
6:04
Eldar: And then you went from those From that advice and you committed a crime or whatever you did something wrong Against yourself or others and stuff like that.
6:11
Eldar: And then you're like, oh they did this to me What totally saying is that actually the reason why you were actually influenced is that deep inside?
6:20
Eldar: You already had a small as just a percentage of that specific thing, or let's just say 10 percent and the other 90 percent that person was able to install in you or Inflicting you for you to actually bring it out.
6:34
Harris: I think we already discussed that.
6:36
Eldar: Yeah,
6:36
Harris: well, maybe you talk we discussed that We've come to that conclusion
6:41
Eldar: that you did have certain.
6:43
Eldar: Okay
6:43
Harris: about uh,
6:44
Eldar: yes self esteem issues self esteem issues and image Yeah, okay, so you can present that.
6:49
Harris: Yeah, it was a tiny piece It was still there.
6:54
Toliy: Well, I wouldn't say a tiny piece.
6:56
Toliy: It was a tiny piece
6:58
Harris: because I was all for it.
6:59
Harris: I was excited about it.
7:00
Harris: And then this person said something and basically kicked my excitement.
7:09
Toliy: No, but how are you making the judgment that it's like a Because I was excited
7:13
Harris: about this.
7:14
Harris: I was super stoked
7:16
Toliy: about doing this.
7:17
Toliy: No, but in general, the idea that you're That you have low self esteem when it comes to that.
7:22
Toliy: Like, how are you judging that that's a small piece in that?
7:26
Harris: Because a lot of times, you guys know me, I really don't give a shit.
7:30
Harris: I take off my shirt in here, I walk around.
7:33
Harris: No, but
7:34
Toliy: doing that in here and out in the world is different.
7:38
Harris: I still go to the beach, I take my shirt off.
7:40
Harris: I went to the Bermuda, took my shirt off.
7:43
Harris: Uh, it was a tiny piece.
7:44
Harris: Sure, I don't like the way I look.
7:46
Harris: Uh, a lot of times.
7:48
Harris: Uh, but, you know, there's a tiny piece.
7:51
Harris: And I proved it was a tiny piece.
7:52
Harris: It was probably at 10%.
7:55
Harris: And You know this person told me okay,
7:58
Eldar: so what what then then if it is a tiny piece, right?
8:00
Eldar: Then our question would be how is a small piece turn into such a big piece
8:04
Harris: where because someone put something in your head like But how they're gonna fucking roast you They're gonna do this and I kind of builds that that thing you worked hard on To bring down and really not care about back up and blow it out of proportion.
8:18
Eldar: Yeah, but like The argument is like what's the argument like what are they gonna do?
8:23
Eldar: Yeah, I know the people really care
8:27
Harris: No,
8:28
Eldar: you know
8:28
Harris: what I'm saying?
8:28
Harris: Like people enjoyed the fucking look.
8:30
Eldar: Yeah, I think that people actually enjoyed the look
8:32
Harris: yeah, and you know, but the point is I think it's proven someone has Low self esteem.
8:40
Harris: When they work something on something really hard to the point where they really don't care anymore what people think.
8:48
Harris: Be careful.
8:49
Harris: Uh, but there's a tiny piece of them that's still in the back of their head, cares about that.
8:56
Harris: When someone says something It then blows it back into proportion, like the
9:00
Eldar: problem I'm having is that you're saying that this person who's worked on their self esteem would try to put it away and really just be in the moment and have fun, right?
9:08
Eldar: They're really not standing on strong ground then because somebody else can go right and say, yeah, that's all for a
9:15
Harris: lot of times.
9:15
Harris: I really didn't care.
9:16
Harris: I took off my shirt at the beach.
9:18
Harris: I took off my shirt in Bermuda.
9:19
Harris: I didn't give a shit what people thought.
9:21
Harris: So
9:21
Toliy: then why this specific individual, but I think when the right buttons are pressed, especially by the right people, they can.
9:28
Toliy: Like they can invoke that like this to
9:32
Harris: explain
9:33
Toliy: what we understand this.
9:34
Toliy: No, that's the point.
9:35
Toliy: But if you had a strong
9:36
Eldar: foundation, that would not be possible.
9:39
Eldar: That is why we're asking the question that we're talking about this topic, right?
9:42
Eldar: And this podcast right now, why does the outside influence sometimes override?
9:48
Eldar: Our own goodness.
9:50
Eldar: I don't know.
9:51
Eldar: I can't answer that.
9:53
Eldar: Okay.
9:53
Eldar: Well think about it.
9:54
Harris: That's something i'm I'd start working on uh to not give a shit about what anybody thinks well and only do what no no no
10:01
Eldar: no no Well, listen, like I said about that Yes, you have to be careful there as well harris because I think that there is people in the world Maybe in, even in the circle who maybe have the right intentions for you.
10:12
Harris: No, I understand that.
10:12
Harris: So,
10:13
Eldar: so not listening to us, for example.
10:14
Eldar: For example.
10:15
Eldar: I'm not saying that we are.
10:16
Eldar: I'm not, I'm not.
10:17
Eldar: You
10:17
Harris: might miss out on something.
10:17
Harris: I'm not saying you guys.
10:19
Harris: Yeah, I'm saying people that aren't necessarily in my inner circle.
10:23
Harris: Okay.
10:24
Harris: Okay.
10:24
Eldar: So how do we identify the people that are on your side and how do we identify the people that are not on your side or pretend to be, that are on your side?
10:33
Harris: Uh, my inner circle are people.
10:37
Harris: I consider I speak to every day people that have shown they care about me.
10:41
Harris: Uh, the people I talked to once every six months are not at my inner circle.
10:48
Eldar: My mom talks to my sister almost every day.
10:51
Eldar: And I'll tell you right now, they don't have a good relationship.
10:57
Eldar: This is not something where my sister can outright say, I trust mom, I love the way she behaves, I love all the actions and all this other stuff, right, or advice, or vice versa, my mom can't say the same thing about my sister, right?
11:09
Eldar: So that argument is to say that, like, just because you talk to them every day and kind of call each other and say, like, I care for you, I love you, does not necessarily mean that this is it.
11:17
Harris: If I don't, if I don't feel like, hey, I have a good relationship with someone, I don't talk to them a lot.
11:28
Harris: It doesn't matter.
11:30
Harris: If I don't know I'm related or not, if they're family, great, we'll see you.
11:37
Harris: I'll talk to you once in a while, I might see you one time in every three years.
11:46
Harris: There's some family I haven't seen in 10 years.
11:49
Harris: You know,
11:51
Eldar: this is why you want to move out.
11:53
Eldar: What do you mean with your dad?
11:55
Eldar: Right.
11:56
Harris: I mean, I have a good relationship with him, but there's some things.
12:01
Harris: Hey, how do you have a good,
12:03
Toliy: how do you have a good relationship with him?
12:05
Harris: I mean, by definition, can you explain to us what a good relationship is?
12:09
Harris: I love him.
12:10
Harris: I got love for him.
12:11
Harris: Okay.
12:12
Harris: Uh, but I don't like the fact that he's trying to take control of my life.
12:18
Harris: I want to take control of my life.
12:20
Harris: I want to take control of my own destiny.
12:23
Harris: And I don't like the fact that he's trying to grab onto my life and control it the way he wants my life to go.
12:30
Eldar: So to me, you just said two very contradicting things.
12:33
Eldar: Yeah.
12:34
Eldar: Okay.
12:34
Eldar: On one hand, you're saying, hey, we have a good relationship.
12:37
Eldar: We love each other.
12:38
Eldar: You say love you brought the world you use the word love.
12:40
Eldar: Yeah.
12:41
Eldar: Okay.
12:41
Eldar: And I would say that yeah And I would say that your dad would probably say yeah, I love Harris, of course, right on the other hand You said hey, he's controlling my destiny and my life, which I don't like
12:52
Harris: I love the guy he's always there if I need something but
13:00
Eldar: I think parents have at that time when you wanted to invite your friends for a barbecue Yeah.
13:03
Eldar: He was there for you.
13:04
Eldar: No.
13:04
Eldar: Oh.
13:05
Harris: There's certain things that I want to take control and I think all parents have a tendency to do this is try to lean their children in a a certain fucking path.
13:14
Harris: We talked about this.
13:15
Harris: Oh, I know.
13:15
Harris: They want us to go in this path.
13:17
Harris: Yeah.
13:17
Harris: I don't want to go in the path he wants me to.
13:20
Toliy: Yeah, but like what what things does he do to make like that like leads you to believe that you love him
13:29
Harris: He's always been there.
13:30
Harris: Okay, he's always been there.
13:33
Toliy: What what does that mean?
13:34
Toliy: We have great
13:35
Harris: times Occasionally, I just don't think Yeah, I'm trying to figure
13:44
Toliy: out like why do you love him?
13:46
Toliy: He's my dad.
13:48
Toliy: Yeah, but like just removing the Title the title.
13:53
Toliy: Can you tell me things that you guys do together or talk to like or talk about?
13:58
Toliy: Or like experiences that you guys like,
14:03
Harris: we like, uh, well, same stuff.
14:05
Harris: Cars, uh, you know nano, oh, no, no.
14:11
Harris: Not nano.
14:13
Harris: Damn bro.
14:14
Harris: Pork chops.
14:15
Harris: That's like me asking.
14:16
Harris: Do you love your dad?
14:17
Harris: Wait, wait, wait, wait.
14:18
Harris: Why are you putting it on him?
14:18
Harris: Why are you putting it on me?
14:19
Harris: Exactly.
14:20
Harris: You're asking me why do I love my dad.
14:22
Harris: My dad?
14:22
Harris: That should be, should be easy.
14:23
Harris: That should be easy.
14:23
Harris: No, raise me.
14:24
Harris: He did everything for me.
14:26
Harris: He bought me clothes.
14:27
Harris: He.
14:28
Harris: So it just sounds like you in debt with your dad.
14:30
Harris: No.
14:30
Harris: Oh, he raised me, you know, he he's my dad He's been there when I was down uh He took me in he He's a dad.
14:42
Harris: Okay, but parents have a tendency to do shit that it's like, you know You're just gonna want to slam your fucking foot to the ground and say hey, let me take control of my own fucking life You know, I think everyone at times gets frustrated with their parents.
15:01
Harris: Okay, you know, so you guys like cars together I'm just saying, we, we like a lot of shit.
15:08
Harris: Cars, boobs, and fireworks.
15:09
Harris: Granola bars.
15:10
Harris: My dad claims he, he tries, he's trying to prevent me from making the same mistakes as him.
15:17
Harris: Uh, he didn't start saving money when he was younger.
15:21
Harris: Didn't actually start saving for retirement until he was 43.
15:25
Harris: You know, and he's trying to get me to save, he's trying to get me to do all this shit.
15:29
Harris: Wants me to stop doing certain things, and I'm like, you know, let me take control of my life.
15:34
Harris: That's what I want.
15:39
Eldar: Then we have to introduce the fact that maybe we outgrow our parents.
15:44
Eldar: The fact that, yeah, sure.
15:44
Eldar: You know, like they did all this stuff for us, right.
15:46
Eldar: They've, you know, they've raised us, they gave us maybe the basic needs that we needed.
15:51
Eldar: Right.
15:51
Eldar: And now, right.
15:52
Eldar: When we like, Hey, like, let me be autonomous here.
15:55
Eldar: Let me do my own thing.
15:57
Eldar: Right.
15:57
Eldar: They still there.
15:58
Eldar: They're like, you know, you got, but I also think that
15:59
Toliy: like in, in scenarios like this, I think oftentimes we, we prove our parents right with our actions.
16:08
Toliy: So it's, so it's like, um, I think like that relationship becomes more like, like the, uh, relationships always more, more or less where you have.
16:19
Toliy: A, uh, um, authority figure, right?
16:22
Toliy: Like a parent.
16:23
Toliy: Um, and then you have their child and the child constantly as he's growing and getting older and like being privy to more information and wanting new things and stuff like that, right?
16:35
Toliy: They naturally want more and more freedoms, right?
16:38
Toliy: Yeah.
16:39
Toliy: It goes maybe from like, Hey, let's go to the park.
16:42
Toliy: And it's like, okay, well, if I, if I want to go to the park, I got to have some, somebody like watch me, right?
16:48
Toliy: Like that, that's one thing, right?
16:49
Toliy: Yeah.
16:49
Toliy: Eventually you want to go to the park by yourself, right?
16:52
Toliy: Or maybe you want to go to the park with friends, right?
16:54
Toliy: Or like, like you can't just like, until a certain point, just like leave the house, for example.
16:59
Toliy: Right.
17:00
Toliy: But maybe at some point you can leave the house.
17:01
Toliy: My mom sees, oh, there's five friends with you.
17:03
Toliy: You guys can go.
17:04
Toliy: Mm-hmm . Okay.
17:05
Toliy: But just like go alone somewhere.
17:07
Toliy: Yeah.
17:07
Toliy: No chance.
17:07
Toliy: Right.
17:08
Toliy: Um,
17:08
Harris: so, so now I'm 27 years old.
17:10
Harris: Let me live my fucking life.
17:11
Toliy: Wait, you're 20.
17:11
Toliy: No, no, no.
17:12
Toliy: Wait, wait point.
17:15
Toliy: But then as you continue to go, like for a parent to let go grips of certain things, I think they need to, like, they, they see confidence, they need supporting.
17:24
Toliy: Yeah.
17:24
Toliy: Evidence that you're competent.
17:26
Toliy: And then I think like the leash, slowly.
17:29
Toliy: Releases releases.
17:30
Toliy: Right.
17:30
Toliy: And then I think comes a point where you can make a good point saying, Hey, that like, give me a chance to like, show you that I can, that I'm responsible enough, you know, to handle X, Y, and Z on my own.
17:40
Toliy: But I think us as kids, maybe along the way, we don't understand, or we never have that kind of conversation to see what expectations are and what is wanted.
17:49
Toliy: Right.
17:49
Toliy: Or maybe like what's demanded of.
17:51
Toliy: And then have that, um, conversation with their parents to maybe then fill them in on as to like, what, what, what, what you want, right?
18:01
Toliy: And maybe then you can kind of find common ground to get on the same page.
18:05
Toliy: But again, like, this is like a very unheard of scenario with most, like, uh, parents and like, uh, child, uh, um, relationships.
18:14
Toliy: But, I think what happens is that Also, like a little bit of delusion happens where like, um, they have it wrong on, on both sides.
18:23
Toliy: The parents sometimes thing that the kid is not ready, but the kid, for example, might be ready because there's some kind of miscommunications happening.
18:31
Toliy: Um, and lots of times it happens on the opposite end where like the kid is saying that he's ready, but based on his actions, he's proving that he's not right.
18:40
Toliy: Yeah.
18:41
Toliy: And the parents see that and the parent, when it comes to these kinds of things.
18:45
Toliy: One mistake to the parent is usually equivalent to like what the kid would view as like 50 mistakes.
18:51
Eldar: That's true
18:52
Toliy: I
18:52
Eldar: told you so
18:53
Toliy: yeah, right, right that that's a parent's favorite thing is to catch you on something And when they do, you get 50x punishment, typically.
19:02
Toliy: Punishment.
19:03
Toliy: Right?
19:03
Toliy: You forgot to leave the house with your phone?
19:05
Toliy: Are you kidding me?
19:06
Toliy: Yeah.
19:07
Toliy: That's a cardinal sin.
19:10
Toliy: You're not answering?
19:11
Toliy: I don't know where you are.
19:12
Toliy: You didn't take your driver's license while driving?
19:14
Toliy: For example, right?
19:15
Toliy: These things to them are like important, for example, or something, right?
19:18
Toliy: Yeah.
19:18
Toliy: And you're not taking it seriously, right?
19:21
Harris: What is it, a fucking
19:22
Toliy: ticket?
19:23
Toliy: Yeah, like, like in his case, for example, like, I understand all the concerns that his dad might have, and I understand, um, exactly why he has a hard time, for example, like, giving him any kind of chances or opportunities to like, To grow.
19:38
Toliy: To grow, because I think he proves to his dad constantly that My
19:45
Harris: dad, it's not even just about the money.
19:48
Harris: It's about the fucking sales.
19:50
Harris: He had a bad experience with sales.
19:52
Harris: And like I said, he believes, um, a job that has a full salary is better than a sales thing.
20:02
Harris: I even told him, I said, dad, listen, in my first week doing the inbound full time, I closed two deals.
20:08
Harris: I said, am I not showing you something that I'm improving here?
20:12
Harris: And I'm actually doing something.
20:15
Harris: And he goes, listen, if it works out, great, but don't, yeah, he's like, if other jobs, uh, uh, appear, don't fucking turn them down.
20:23
Harris: Yeah,
20:25
Toliy: yeah, see, another thing is, um, communication.
20:29
Toliy: If you have a hard time communicating things, you're going to be constantly in these kind of like, uh, How is that not a communicator?
20:36
Toliy: We have
20:36
Mike: to go back before we can go here.
20:38
Mike: We have to go back to the fact of the oversharing.
20:40
Harris: That's It's not oversharing.
20:42
Harris: I'm trying to point out to my dad that I'm actually doing something now.
20:45
Mike: No, but the thing is, it is oversharing.
20:47
Mike: Because where it's
20:48
Eldar: coming from The thing is, yeah, no, like Sorry, Mike.
20:51
Eldar: Go ahead, Mike.
20:51
Eldar: Sorry.
20:52
Mike: Yeah, where it's coming from, it is oversharing because the way you're saying in it, you're saying you need him to validate, you need his approval.
21:00
Mike: I don't need his approval, I'm just trying to get it through
21:03
Harris: my dad's head.
21:04
Harris: No,
21:04
Mike: no, no, no, no, but you're telling him, you're trying to convince him.
21:07
Eldar: Yes, you're under the impression that you have to convince him in the first place.
21:10
Eldar: All right that you have to convince him of something
21:13
Harris: I can tell his mind is a little bit turning Because now when he approaches the subject, yeah He's like i'm glad you're getting deals.
21:21
Harris: You know, if it works out great if you make money from it great you know, uh But don't turn down all the jobs, but it's turning a little bit to the point where now he's saying if it works out Great.
21:33
Harris: I'm glad you're closing deals His mind is starting to turn a little bit that he's seeing i'm actually Closing certain things.
21:44
Toliy: Well, I mean, there's a lot of things there.
21:46
Toliy: It sounds like, um, like the measuring contest you have is simply based on you closing deals and nothing else.
21:53
Harris: Yeah, my dad doesn't care about anything else.
21:55
Harris: He cares about seeing proof that, hey, you're able to do sales because in his eyes, most people can't do
22:01
Mike: sales.
22:02
Mike: But why, um, why is your dad dictating the way that you guys are going to engage?
22:06
Mike: If you think your dad is competent to make that, that like, uh, No,
22:10
Harris: no, I don't because he's basing my job off of the one job he had in sales, which was, he works for a fabric company.
22:20
Harris: Okay.
22:21
Harris: And his job was to find clients.
22:23
Harris: He goes, they start you off with these little tiny clients and then you have to find the big ones.
22:28
Harris: He goes, some people had Calvin Klein.
22:30
Harris: Some people had, you know, uh, Michael Kors and all this different shit.
22:35
Harris: And he's like, I was never able to do it.
22:37
Harris: He goes, you're a nice guy.
22:38
Harris: Nice guys can't do sales.
22:40
Harris: They can't have souls.
22:41
Harris: He doesn't understand.
22:42
Harris: I tried explaining that we have a product people need.
22:45
Harris: We're not trying to mind game them into a, uh, a sale here.
22:51
Harris: We're trying to explain to them why our product can actually help.
22:56
Harris: So
22:56
Eldar: let me ask you this question.
22:58
Eldar: If you understand the difference between what you're doing and what your dad did, how come you didn't tell your dad, ask him the one question, say, dad, are you an idiot?
23:06
Eldar: I'm not asking that bro.
23:07
Eldar: I'll be pack my bag.
23:09
Eldar: No, no, no.
23:10
Eldar: But is this a valid question to ask?
23:12
Eldar: Absolutely.
23:13
Eldar: Like, hey, dad.
23:14
Eldar: No, but it's not even
23:14
Toliy: that.
23:15
Toliy: Like, to me, that whole reply to begin with doesn't even make sense that he was selling fabric.
23:21
Toliy: And then you're explaining to him that what we do is different because we have a different types of product that people need.
23:28
Toliy: Like, I, I don't understand, but do people not need fabric the way they did shit?
23:33
Toliy: Well, the way that they did shit has nothing to do with the product itself.
23:36
Toliy: That's true the way they did it I
23:38
Harris: just said to you what I said to him.
23:40
Harris: I said we don't play mind games
23:42
Toliy: Yeah, like for example, what what if you told you that saying?
23:44
Toliy: Hey dad, I agree with you actually, right?
23:48
Toliy: So my typical nice guy personality is not gonna work in sales.
23:52
Toliy: I agree with you, right?
23:54
Toliy: Which is why I'm trying to learn a different way to do it.
23:58
Toliy: Do you, do you, do you think that there are other ways out there that actually work?
24:03
Toliy: This is
24:04
Harris: weird.
24:04
Harris: His significant other made her career off sales.
24:14
Harris: And she told me, she goes, go for it.
24:18
Harris: Run for the fucking hills.
24:20
Harris: She goes,
24:21
Eldar: run for the hills is like running away from the hills,
24:24
Harris: run straight into sales.
24:27
Harris: If you are able to do it, give it a couple of years, if you're able to do it, you're able to make money, you know, it's unlimited cap and more power to you.
24:35
Harris: Yeah.
24:35
Toliy: Yeah.
24:36
Toliy: Like what, what if you just said like, like to me, it's still like you're measuring or you're trying to figure out, you're like, you're trying to fight, uh, uh, like retardation with retardation.
24:50
Toliy: This is what's happening.
24:51
Toliy: And it's a constant fest as to who could say.
24:53
Toliy: Like, like louder, dumber things back to each other.
24:56
Toliy: Like this is what's happening.
24:57
Toliy: I'm just trying to tell my dad.
24:59
Toliy: I think they're trying to find the truth though.
25:01
Toliy: There, there might be a limited amount of words that they know how to use.
25:03
Toliy: Yeah.
25:04
Toliy: Well, that, that's the thing is that he's saying that I'm trying to, he's, he, he can communicate with his dad.
25:08
Toliy: Right.
25:09
Toliy: But to me, he clearly can't.
25:11
Toliy: No, he can't.
25:11
Toliy: I'm trying to tell my
25:12
Harris: dad, yeah, he's trying to let me give.
25:15
Harris: Let me give this a fucking shot, full force.
25:17
Eldar: No, but you see, you're begging.
25:18
Eldar: Yeah.
25:19
Eldar: You're begging.
25:20
Eldar: Well, I'm trying to get him off my fucking back.
25:22
Eldar: Well, we get it.
25:23
Eldar: I think that if you really paid attention here, you'll understand that we actually here, collectively, want your dad off your back more than you want your dad off your back.
25:32
Eldar: Does that register?
25:33
Eldar: It does.
25:34
Eldar: Why?
25:37
Eldar: Because he's getting in my fucking head.
25:39
Eldar: Not only that, because we actually think we have the method on how to get him off your back.
25:45
Eldar: And you disagree with it this you disagree with this you understand.
25:48
Eldar: What's
25:49
Harris: your method?
25:49
Harris: I'm all standing.
25:50
Harris: Whoa, whoa, whoa Whoa, don't
25:52
Eldar: come with an attitude.
25:53
Eldar: Oh, yeah, I'm not
25:53
Harris: understanding.
25:54
Toliy: Yeah, you see that green check Yeah, you better go check that out at two at the door man.
25:58
Toliy: Remember that train check
25:59
Eldar: Yeah, there's people on that train and the reason why the train is moving in the direction that it's moving is because they get it I'm not understanding the way you asked the way you asked You're never gonna get the answer that's with a bad attitude.
26:13
Eldar: You know what I'm saying?
26:14
Harris: Mm hmm.
26:15
Eldar: That is why you might not
26:16
Harris: fucking frustrated.
26:17
Harris: Yes, you're supposed to
26:18
Eldar: get frustrated.
26:18
Eldar: Yeah, you're the one in a frustrated seat, right?
26:21
Eldar: Your dad's on your back the guys over here busting your balls all day.
26:24
Eldar: You know what I mean?
26:25
Eldar: Like you can't find I don't mind the ball busting, but you just can't find the medium You know what?
26:29
Eldar: I mean?
26:29
Eldar: We're pushing you one way saying hey, you can do this and you're like, oh, that's too much Yo, you're crazy.
26:33
Eldar: He's gonna get me out of the house.
26:35
Harris: My dad is a very you you claim.
26:37
Harris: You're a sensible guy Yes, my dad is a hundred times more sensitive
26:41
Toliy: impossible impossible a hundred percent
26:44
Harris: He is the least sensitive person here by a mile my Dad cut my sister out for two fucking years over some petty fucking shit because she went through a therapy session and they claimed Uh, all of her problems was because of the way she was raised and my dad didn't like that.
27:05
Harris: So, how does that make
27:05
Toliy: him more sensitive?
27:07
Harris: He cut his own daughter out for two years.
27:09
Harris: So what?
27:11
Harris: He gets hurt by every little thing.
27:13
Harris: So what?
27:18
Harris: You say the wrong things to him, he's like, you know, pack your bag.
27:21
Harris: I'm not dealing with this shit.
27:23
Harris: You know?
27:23
Harris: Okay.
27:27
Harris: There was one time I almost packed my fucking bag and I was like, yo, my fucking bag.
27:34
Harris: We got into a heated argument.
27:39
Eldar: It sounds like you guys really love each other.
27:42
Eldar: Oh my god, why are you saying it like that?
27:44
Eldar: Yeah, why?
27:49
Eldar: Parents
27:50
Harris: and kids fucking argue.
27:52
Eldar: It's part of the deal.
27:53
Eldar: Yeah.
27:54
Harris: It's part
27:54
Eldar: of the deal,
27:55
Harris: totally.
27:58
Harris: I don't think we're supposed to agree.
28:00
Harris: Me and my dad.
28:04
Eldar: Yeah, yeah.
28:06
Eldar: Um, I don't know, Mike, your dad came to you, started bullying you and said, Hey, what are you doing?
28:13
Eldar: Why are you calling your friend?
28:15
Eldar: Right, you just recently told me.
28:16
Mike: Yeah.
28:17
Eldar: And you're like, you told him the story and he's like, why are you doing this?
28:20
Eldar: Don't you have better things to do?
28:21
Eldar: What's wrong with you?
28:22
Eldar: Yada, yada, yada.
28:22
Eldar: You know what I mean?
28:23
Eldar: Same shit.
28:25
Eldar: That's
28:25
Mike: all the same shit.
28:26
Eldar: It's all
28:26
Mike: the same shit.
28:26
Mike: All the parents are the same.
28:27
Mike: All the kids are the same.
28:29
Mike: Just we're trying not to do the same.
28:33
Mike: Yes.
28:34
Mike: That's the thing.
28:34
Mike: Trying to find the right language.
28:36
Mike: Yeah.
28:36
Mike: Seems like to me personally, I speak from my experience.
28:40
Mike: It's, it's effective.
28:42
Mike: It's obviously a learning curve for them and for me too initially, but yeah, for them, it's an adjustment period.
28:48
Mike: Because they're stuck in their ways.
28:50
Mike: They're stubborn.
28:53
Mike: Fucking
28:54
Harris: old school.
28:54
Harris: No,
28:55
Mike: no, no, no, no, no, no.
28:56
Mike: What if, okay.
28:57
Mike: That's guys.
28:57
Mike: All right.
28:58
Mike: Finish your thought.
28:58
Mike: But the thing is, they can be where they want to be.
29:01
Mike: I can also choose how I want to be.
29:03
Mike: If I approach them like you're using, um, one trick in a way, let's just say with your dad, I'm using a different trick and it's working for me, but we both have, we have completely different outcomes.
29:18
Mike: With the same parents.
29:19
Mike: My dad is just as ignorant, stubborn, sensitive, controlling, annoying, whatever the words you want to use about your dad, my dad is just like that,
29:28
Eldar: you know, my mom was like that too, and my dad too, probably.
29:33
Mike: So, our parents are all the same.
29:35
Mike: They're cut from the same school, same cloth, whatever.
29:38
Eldar: But let me tell you one thing, Harris.
29:42
Eldar: I believe, I don't know if you guys can agree with me or not, that there's a direct correlation between you finding the right language with your dad and you being successful.
29:58
Eldar: If you figure it out, listen to this, if you figure it out, how to properly talk to your dad, you will be successful in sales and vice versa.
30:08
Eldar: If you figure it out, how to be successful in sales, you will be successful with your dad.
30:17
Toliy: Is that true?
30:17
Toliy: A hundred percent.
30:22
Toliy: Which
30:22
Eldar: one should
30:22
Toliy: he
30:22
Eldar: focus on?
30:24
Toliy: I don't think there's a, uh, a choice for either.
30:29
Toliy: I think they're tired of the hip because one, they're tired of the hip and the way that we, we, uh, we do things and I don't think that you can.
30:39
Toliy: Grow one without the other.
30:41
Toliy: Okay.
30:42
Toliy: It's impossible.
30:44
Toliy: Can you believe that?
30:45
Toliy: No.
30:46
Toliy: And now, and, and, and, and we're not in the business of, uh, of training salespeople.
30:52
Eldar: Yeah.
30:53
Eldar: Or selling snake oil like your dad used to do.
30:58
Eldar: You're training me in sales.
31:00
Eldar: No, it's far
31:02
Harris: from it.
31:03
Harris: What do you mean we have meetings every week to discuss it, man?
31:07
Harris: No, this one totally
31:08
Mike: does the example of the Miyagi.
31:10
Mike: Totally, you have to do it.
31:13
Eldar: You saw the movie?
31:13
Eldar: What?
31:14
Eldar: You saw the movie?
31:14
Eldar: No.
31:15
Eldar: No, he has to.
31:17
Eldar: That's not more advanced.
31:19
Eldar: What do you mean?
31:19
Eldar: We have the meetings
31:20
Harris: every week to go.
31:21
Eldar: No, no, no.
31:21
Eldar: What we have meetings on, if you paid attention and really Examiner what's happening.
31:27
Eldar: We have meetings on critical thinking.
31:29
Eldar: Okay.
31:30
Eldar: Something maybe you skipped in school, didn't understand whatever.
31:33
Eldar: Right.
31:33
Eldar: It's reading comprehension, right?
31:37
Eldar: Reading something and understanding what you're reading, critically think about what it is that is being said, what is being conveyed.
31:47
Eldar: Right.
31:48
Eldar: And some of the things that you conclude about it, you know, like, why do you conclude what you conclude?
31:52
Eldar: Did you understand the essence behind what is being said?
31:55
Eldar: This is what we're trying to teach you.
31:57
Eldar: We're trying to teach you how to think, critically think.
32:01
Eldar: All right.
32:01
Eldar: It's critical thinking.
32:03
Eldar: That's what we're trying to do, because if you know how to do this, right, you'll quickly realize that most of the.
32:11
Eldar: Efforts that totally puts it into your sales revolves around critical thinking when the client says, Hey, this is too expensive.
32:20
Eldar: Why,
32:21
Harris: why is that?
32:22
Harris: Why is that right?
32:22
Eldar: Totally is asking why?
32:24
Eldar: Because too expensive can mean a lot of different things.
32:27
Eldar: We can all understand, right?
32:28
Eldar: It can mean 10, different things.
32:32
Eldar: Totally would like to find out what that actually means because that's not an answer that he's willing to just sit with oh too Expensive.
32:38
Eldar: Okay.
32:38
Eldar: Bye.
32:38
Eldar: And what what is that called when
32:40
Toliy: when you ask that question back
32:43
Eldar: to the to the prospect you asking me?
32:45
Toliy: Yeah, right, right or anybody What are you doing back?
32:52
Toliy: You're the
32:52
Eldar: student
32:53
Toliy: is yeah,
32:53
Harris: I know what it
32:54
Toliy: is if they say it's too expensive you say you're challenging that you're challenging That's right.
32:58
Toliy: You know, who's the king of challenging?
33:02
Mike: No, no your favorite your boy Donnie.
33:05
Mike: You're the favorite boy.
33:06
Mike: Mm hmm.
33:07
Mike: Oh old man,
33:11
Harris: oh What's his name?
33:17
Harris: Uh perpetual
33:19
Mike: no, how many nano coins are out in existence
33:25
Harris: right now?
33:27
Harris: 133 million.
33:28
Eldar: That's right.
33:29
Eldar: And can there be more?
33:31
Eldar: That's a fixed supply.
33:34
Harris: He said the thing about every second.
33:36
Harris: Oh, he got it.
33:36
Harris: No, I didn't.
33:37
Harris: I'm thinking about the other thing.
33:38
Harris: Oh, okay.
33:39
Harris: Fuck.
33:39
Harris: I'm forgetting his fucking name now.
33:44
Harris: He's up there, bro.
33:45
Harris: He's up there.
33:50
Harris: Fuck.
33:50
Harris: How can I?
33:50
Harris: He's also on your foot.
33:52
Eldar: Oh, well, we'll, we'll wear those, but you don't probably what that guy is talking about.
33:57
Eldar: A lot of times he didn't believe what people said.
33:59
Eldar: He didn't understand what they said.
34:01
Eldar: Right.
34:01
Eldar: So he challenged to find out what is exactly what they're saying.
34:05
Eldar: And he found out at least in his inquiry, right?
34:07
Eldar: People actually don't know what they're talking about.
34:11
Eldar: And he did this by questioning a lot by asking like, Hey, too expensive.
34:15
Eldar: But how are we comparing oranges to oranges here?
34:18
Eldar: Are we comparing or just kill for
34:20
Harris: it?
34:20
Eldar: Huh?
34:20
Eldar: He got killed for it.
34:22
Eldar: Well, not for the, not for just that.
34:24
Eldar: Yeah, sure.
34:25
Eldar: You're trying to still remember him?
34:26
Eldar: It starts with
34:27
Harris: an S.
34:27
Harris: I know it does.
34:30
Harris: What's the second?
34:30
Harris: Socrates.
34:32
Harris: Yes.
34:34
Harris: For some reason, his name gets mixed up with Hercules.
34:39
Eldar: That's the same thing.
34:45
Harris: Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle.
34:47
Eldar: That's right.
34:49
Eldar: So you understand?
34:50
Eldar: He went around trying to find out what does it people actually mean when they say things like that?
34:54
Eldar: Right?
34:55
Eldar: Too expensive.
34:56
Eldar: Oh, this is my passion.
34:58
Eldar: Right.
34:59
Eldar: He wanted to find out why people do what they do and think the way they do.
35:03
Eldar: And why do they say the way they say, he quickly found out that a lot of people didn't know what the hell they were talking about.
35:08
Eldar: Right.
35:08
Eldar: And we actually, right.
35:10
Eldar: Through studying him, through learning stuff, through having these types of conversations, also came to realize the same realization that actually people don't know what the fuck they talking about.
35:20
Eldar: Right.
35:21
Eldar: And we're trying to get you right.
35:23
Eldar: Not to do sales.
35:25
Eldar: We're trying to get you to a point.
35:27
Eldar: So, you know, what the fuck you're talking about?
35:28
Harris: Yeah.
35:31
Eldar: You understand?
35:31
Eldar: Yeah.
35:34
Eldar: So can you tell that to your dad next time he tells you that you're doing sales?
35:39
Eldar: Yes or no?
35:40
Eldar: I could try.
35:41
Eldar: You could try.
35:46
Eldar: When you're able to tell this to your dad in such a way where you can have a cohesive conversation where he actually understands where you're coming from.
35:52
Eldar: This is when you begin to grow in your dad's eyes.
35:57
Eldar: Cuz dad he's it's gonna be a reverse roles.
35:59
Eldar: I told you this about right about this, right sooner or later A lot of those moments accumulated you become the dad.
36:05
Eldar: He becomes the son.
36:12
Eldar: Have a good night.
36:13
Eldar: What
36:13
Harris: do you mean?
36:14
Eldar: Well,
36:14
Harris: I'm not leaving.
36:15
Eldar: Oh
36:17
Harris: They were saying bye.
36:18
Harris: No.
36:18
Harris: Yeah I need to tell my dad that I'm not learning sales, I'm learning what the fuck I'm talking about.
36:31
Harris: I'm learning how to speak properly.
36:34
Eldar: There you go.
36:34
Eldar: That's one of them.
36:34
Toliy: Yes.
36:35
Eldar: How
36:35
Toliy: to
36:35
Eldar: communicate properly.
36:36
Toliy: That's like, to do that kind of stuff and to hold that conversation is very difficult.
36:42
Toliy: And right now you will not be successful in doing so.
36:44
Toliy: Thank you.
36:45
Harris: Thank you for that.
36:47
Toliy: No, I'm just telling you the reality of the situation before you go and yeah, you don't want to go with a gun blaze water gun.
36:55
Toliy: Hey dad, I'm not
36:55
Harris: learning sales.
36:57
Harris: I learned how to fucking communicate properly because you don't know shit.
37:00
Eldar: Do you realize you're not doing sales that you're in school and you're getting paid for going to go to school?
37:03
Eldar: Yeah, I do.
37:04
Eldar: Okay,
37:07
Harris: but I am improving, but can it be better?
37:14
Eldar: It is for us to judge whether or not you're improving.
37:16
Harris: You already said I'm having the best fucking week.
37:19
Eldar: If you.
37:20
Eldar: If I said this then then you can run with it if I didn't say it then we're
37:24
Harris: sitting there and I was like Yeah, I
37:25
Eldar: have pretty bad
37:26
Harris: memory for these things.
37:27
Harris: Yeah.
37:27
Harris: Well, we were sitting there.
37:28
Harris: I'm talking at your desk I was like, yeah, talking about she
37:32
Toliy: likes hanging on to the moments, right?
37:33
Toliy: Short little moments.
37:34
Toliy: No, well, no, he likes to first make shit up for a second because you're not saying this to his advantage.
37:40
Toliy: Yeah, that.
37:40
Toliy: And then he likes to judge, like, what's good progress and what's progress.
37:44
Toliy: What's even the measure of progress?
37:46
Toliy: I was going over
37:47
Harris: that totally said for the podcast, we were going to go over.
37:51
Harris: You know, the bad week, what happened Friday?
37:54
Harris: You're like, what the hell are you talking about?
37:56
Harris: And you know, this is the best week yet.
37:58
Harris: You made progress.
38:01
Eldar: Well, the thing is, again, uh, part of communicating is part of understanding what the conversation is, is about.
38:06
Eldar: Anyway, you guys actually might've been talking about something else completely.
38:10
Eldar: And totally was referencing that.
38:13
Harris: Yeah, I know you were making a point that what are you talking about?
38:15
Harris: This is a bad week
38:16
Eldar: because I'm referencing something else.
38:17
Eldar: Yeah, right.
38:18
Eldar: I might have been referencing what the fact that two weeks ago, three weeks ago, you didn't bring anything.
38:23
Eldar: No, close to right.
38:24
Eldar: And this week, you know, based on deals alone, money wise, this is your best week.
38:30
Eldar: Yeah, that's a hundred percent fact and nobody else can say otherwise.
38:34
Eldar: I don't think I can convince totally otherwise person.
38:36
Harris: I
38:37
Eldar: totally can totally can't convince us otherwise.
38:40
Eldar: Right.
38:41
Eldar: But however, right.
38:42
Eldar: I was on that flow.
38:44
Eldar: Totally was on a completely different flow.
38:46
Eldar: This is part of communication to attitude.
38:48
Eldar: Yes.
38:49
Eldar: Yeah.
38:50
Eldar: But if, cause if you measure it to see whether or not this was actually the, these last two weeks were one of your best.
38:56
Eldar: Weeks when it comes to attitude?
38:57
Eldar: No, it was the worst.
39:01
Eldar: What do I care more?
39:03
Eldar: The fact that you brought in some money?
39:04
Eldar: No.
39:05
Eldar: I care about the long term, your progress, right?
39:08
Eldar: So we can get on the same page.
39:09
Eldar: The faster we get on the same page, the faster everyone succeeds.
39:15
Eldar: You know what I'm saying?
39:16
Eldar: Because it'll open up opportunity to learn.
39:19
Eldar: And then to be able to hopefully apply the learnings here right into your personal life so you can be happy out there and hopefully, hopefully then it transpires into professional life and vice versa and it keeps going where you're happy on both sides of the spectrum, not just when you come to work.
39:35
Eldar: Oh, vice versa.
39:36
Eldar: When you go home, no, this is my sanctuary.
39:41
Harris: It's kind of horrible to say, but no, I don't know.
39:45
Harris: Many people that say work is my, my peaceful place or my sanctuary and home is just my
39:51
Eldar: nightmare.
39:52
Eldar: Guess what?
39:53
Eldar: And I'm going to remind you what totally reminds you.
39:56
Eldar: Earlier you said you love your dad.
40:00
Toliy: I do love my dad.
40:02
Toliy: Why would coming home be a nightmare if you love your dad?
40:05
Toliy: Listen, Harris, that's a trap.
40:06
Toliy: It's his
40:06
Eldar: attitude.
40:07
Eldar: Harris, it's a trap.
40:10
Toliy: We don't need answers to this question.
40:11
Toliy: It's his attitude.
40:12
Toliy: He got a bad attitude.
40:14
Toliy: Oh, there you go.
40:15
Toliy: But you have an even
40:16
Eldar: worse
40:16
Toliy: one.
40:17
Eldar: I wouldn't say that.
40:18
Eldar: Yeah, I would the only reason why your attitude is contained here.
40:22
Eldar: It's not because of you necessarily.
40:24
Eldar: It's because of us.
40:25
Eldar: Hmm Yes, or no.
40:28
Eldar: Yeah, okay good because we're good at what we do,
40:32
Harris: you know, I like after I close the deal Man, I'm so happy, you know, I was thrilled I go home and my dad just shits on your parade.
40:42
Harris: There it goes Welcome home Mm hmm.
40:46
Harris: Nice loving kiss and hug.
40:47
Harris: Yeah.
40:47
Harris: Welcome home.
40:48
Harris: Thanks dad.
40:49
Harris: But who did that?
40:49
Harris: He did that or you did that?
40:53
Harris: I guess a little bit of both
40:55
Mike: Explaining to me then.
40:56
Mike: How was it a little bit of both?
40:58
Harris: I let him do it.
40:59
Harris: How'd
40:59
Mike: you let him do it?
41:01
Mike: Let him
41:02
Harris: fucking just get me frustrated and
41:09
Mike: you know But how'd you let him get you frustrated like what exactly I don't know maybe
41:15
Harris: let him in
41:15
Mike: my
41:16
Harris: head.
41:17
Mike: Oh, yeah that thing
41:19
Harris: That thing but
41:20
Mike: how do you find out that you had a good sale?
41:22
Harris: I mean, he didn't he just shit all on my parade like, you know, we're getting all the money No, you didn't tell him Right when I walk in the door, he starts with all the bullshit Mm.
41:39
Harris: How was your day?
41:39
Harris: My day was good.
41:41
Harris: Oh, you know, you didn't bring lunch again.
41:45
Harris: You know, you didn't bring lunch again.
41:47
Harris: Uh, you know, man, I'm trying to get you to do things, but I know it's a waste of breath now.
41:53
Harris: Then why the fuck you keep saying it?
41:55
Eldar: Did you say this?
41:56
Eldar: No, because you don't challenge with
41:57
Harris: that yet.
41:57
Harris: Oh, I know it's my wasting my breath.
42:01
Toliy: Yeah.
42:01
Toliy: But again, like if you examine these kinds of things to what the scenario is, yeah.
42:06
Toliy: Like, you're gonna see why his dad is saying what, what he's saying.
42:10
Toliy: Sure.
42:10
Toliy: You know?
42:11
Toliy: Sure.
42:12
Toliy: Like, he, he, he's giving him plenty of ammo to supply his own gun.
42:16
Toliy: Sure, no, for sure, but I,
42:17
Eldar: but I also think it's exaggerated by our parents, so come on.
42:21
Eldar: They know how to exaggerate that outside even our stuff.
42:23
Eldar: Because we, for example, us three, maybe we don't give the same reasons to our parents to be the way they are, but they still are.
42:30
Eldar: I wish I could.
42:31
Eldar: No, no.
42:31
Eldar: My mom still says ridiculous
42:33
Toliy: shit.
42:33
Toliy: Me.
42:33
Toliy: I, I wish I had No, I know, but I don't warrant it.
42:35
Toliy: No, no.
42:36
Toliy: Well, well sure some things, but I wish I had
42:38
Harris: access to the ring camera in the living room.
42:40
Harris: Uhhuh.
42:41
Harris: . My dad installed the ring camera in the living room and whenever someone moves, it's activated.
42:45
Harris: Yeah.
42:45
Harris: I wish I can access it and play like the footage from the fucking thing thing, so I could show you what the hell happens.
42:51
Eldar: We can, I arrange that.
42:52
Eldar: We can just buy another camera.
42:53
Eldar: He won't even know we installed it.
42:54
Eldar: Because
42:55
Harris: he has his ring camera here, and I know it's on because it blinks blue when it's activated.
43:00
Harris: Whenever someone moves, it activates.
43:03
Toliy: Does that camera have a doorbell on it in the living room?
43:05
Toliy: No, actually, it's another service
43:07
Harris: Ring Camera offers.
43:09
Harris: It's like a surveillance.
43:11
Harris: And you can access from the phone, but we also have the ring doorbell.
43:14
Eldar: Uh, this is not an advertising for ring.
43:15
Eldar: They probably suck.
43:17
Eldar: Well, no, we're not
43:18
Harris: going to, it's not an advertisement for ring, but I wish I could access it and fucking
43:21
Toliy: they, they do actually suck.
43:23
Toliy: I can confirm.
43:23
Toliy: Okay.
43:23
Toliy: Thank you.
43:24
Toliy: Even better.
43:26
Harris: And he had to buy the one where you can maneuver it.
43:28
Toliy: Yeah.
43:29
Toliy: Yeah.
43:30
Toliy: Yeah.
43:30
Toliy: The, the, the, the point that I'm trying to make is that like, yeah, our parents do exaggerating it and they can make it five X, 10 X, 50 X, but nonetheless, is that like, if we know this.
43:42
Toliy: We, we, we are not like, uh, vigilant enough to like, uh, to, uh, like remove those doubts from their heads or challenge them in particular ways so that like they get made, made a fool of.
43:56
Eldar: The thing is, Sure, you would usually I would say I'm vigilant.
44:00
Eldar: I'm pretty vigilant.
44:01
Eldar: I would just say with my mom Yeah, but nonetheless, I think I'm facing a bigger dilemma.
44:04
Eldar: I think it's uh, I think a memory dilemma Yeah, I think it's a mental issue already.
44:09
Toliy: No, I know.
44:10
Toliy: No, I know but I'm saying that like you're still vigilant and Talent challenging it live and then when the person realizes where they're at or what they did or what they said Yeah, they come down.
44:20
Toliy: They they always come down for sure.
44:22
Eldar: But nonetheless it comes around again.
44:23
Toliy: Well, yeah, but it's not your
44:26
Eldar: fault that's more of like a But that's what I'm saying that sometimes I think that you know, we have to give credit where it's due I'm not saying that the credit is due for Harris.
44:34
Eldar: Well, that's what I'm saying.
44:35
Eldar: There's no way to that
44:36
Toliy: in his case Yeah,
44:36
Eldar: I think his case is probably more equal All right, where you know you what you put out into the world is what you get back.
44:42
Eldar: All right hundred percent I'm saying is sometimes when you have a you know, a case of maybe like you said, you know Alzheimer's amnesia, right?
44:52
Eldar: Yeah, but even if we get
44:53
Toliy: there, Elder, if we can, I mean, if we can get to that place, the feeling that that person internally would feel to like what's being done to them or said to them would be completely different.
45:03
Toliy: Correct.
45:04
Toliy: I
45:04
Eldar: agree, the perception of how you receive those messages is completely different, I agree.
45:08
Eldar: Right now it's not that.
45:09
Eldar: I agree.
45:09
Eldar: Yes, correct.
45:10
Eldar: For him.
45:10
Eldar: Right now it's an attack.
45:11
Eldar: I agree.
45:12
Eldar: Right now it's an attack and it causes him.
45:13
Eldar: Yes.
45:14
Eldar: Daily life.
45:14
Eldar: I see it for what it is, it's a sickness.
45:16
Eldar: Suffering.
45:16
Eldar: Yes, correct.
45:17
Eldar: Yeah.
45:17
Eldar: Yeah.
45:18
Eldar: Your dad is sick and you are too.
45:19
Eldar: Thank you.
45:20
Eldar: You're welcome.
45:21
Eldar: Thank you.
45:21
Eldar: Yeah.
45:22
Eldar: Listen.
45:23
Eldar: Um, I'm not object.
45:25
Eldar: I know you're not, you can't, there's no way around that.
45:28
Eldar: Um,
45:30
Harris: we got the virus,
45:32
Eldar: the woke, my virus.
45:33
Eldar: No, not that one.
45:34
Eldar: It's different
45:34
Harris: virus,
45:35
Eldar: different one.
45:36
Eldar: Yeah.
45:36
Eldar: It's an, uh, age old dilemma virus.
45:41
Eldar: How to take a, you know, I guess maybe a sleeping mind and wake it up.
45:45
Toliy: Yeah.
45:45
Toliy: That, that to me is the, uh, the, the, the significance of this situation.
45:50
Toliy: If you were to put it into like a meme.
45:52
Toliy: Would be that his dad has a gun that he shoots him with constantly when he comes home and his dad, and the supplier for all the bullets for his dad's gun is Harris Schuster Incorporated.
46:05
Toliy: Okay, got it.
46:05
Toliy: He makes
46:06
Eldar: the bullets
46:06
Toliy: and then he sells them on the black market.
46:07
Toliy: No, no, no, no.
46:08
Toliy: He makes the bullets and he hands it to him and then he says, go ahead and shoot me.
46:12
Toliy: Wait, he comes in
46:13
Eldar: the house, he hands him the bullets, walks out.
46:16
Eldar: No, and then said I'm gonna come.
46:18
Eldar: He just gives him the bullets.
46:18
Eldar: He just gives him the bullets and says go ahead.
46:19
Eldar: No, no, no, I think he walks out and he's like now I'm gonna come in, dad.
46:22
Eldar: I'm gonna forget everything that will happen.
46:24
Eldar: Yeah, and then he comes and starts shooting.
46:26
Eldar: Yeah.
46:27
Eldar: Yeah, he's the manufacturer
46:28
Toliy: of it.
46:29
Toliy: That, that, that is the, that, that's what's happening.
46:32
Toliy: Listen, do you realize that
46:34
Eldar: you know something?
46:37
Harris: Yeah, I mean sometimes.
46:39
Harris: Okay, okay, not this time.
46:40
Harris: Yeah, I mean this time maybe, I don't know.
46:43
Harris: I don't agree that I'm making bullets.
46:45
Harris: I don't, I agree that my dad is firing, absolutely.
46:49
Harris: But I'm, I don't agree that I'm giving him the bullets.
46:52
Harris: Okay, but what do you, I don't think he's supposed
46:54
Toliy: to.
46:55
Toliy: Yeah,
46:55
Harris: and I can
46:56
Toliy: explain that in great detail.
46:57
Toliy: I
46:57
Harris: think we
46:58
Toliy: might need to get the camera and I don't think we need to get any kind of camera.
47:01
Toliy: I think we do
47:02
Harris: to see
47:03
Toliy: what the
47:03
Eldar: hell is going on.
47:04
Eldar: We know exactly what's going on.
47:05
Eldar: Yeah, you don't have to prove to us.
47:07
Eldar: We know what's going on.
47:08
Eldar: It's not proof.
47:10
Eldar: I
47:10
Harris: think we need to watch the footage.
47:12
Harris: No, no, no.
47:13
Harris: It's Fridays, yeah.
47:14
Eldar: No, not entertainment purposes.
47:17
Eldar: Harris, he said that you're guilty.
47:18
Eldar: You know why?
47:19
Eldar: I'll tell you one thing.
47:20
Eldar: If you got mad, you're guilty.
47:23
Eldar: I didn't get mad.
47:24
Eldar: I get frustrated.
47:25
Eldar: You got frustrated.
47:25
Eldar: I don't, don't it spill out.
47:27
Harris: I kind of just build it up and then just like
47:29
Eldar: you release it.
47:30
Eldar: No, no, no.
47:30
Eldar: But you see that, that internalizing feeling of you getting frustrated or whatever negative feeling that you don't like, that's not, you're not getting a boner during this, right?
47:38
Eldar: No.
47:38
Eldar: Whoa, okay.
47:39
Eldar: You know bone feel good, right?
47:41
Eldar: Oh, what the fuck, bro?
47:42
Harris: Well, no, I'm getting more frustrated, bro.
47:44
Harris: Why does this always gotta turn sexual, man?
47:46
Harris: It's not.
47:46
Harris: I'm just giving you
47:47
Eldar: a contrast, right?
47:48
Eldar: Yeah.
47:48
Eldar: Boner feels good when you walk through your door and your dad's shooting at you with his stuff.
47:53
Eldar: You don't get a boner.
47:53
Eldar: You feel bad.
47:54
Eldar: Right.
47:55
Eldar: So what totally saying just to cut to the chase and give you a shortcut, he's saying that if you feel frustrated or coming out of that conversation in a negative way, negative light, you are the problem.
48:05
Eldar: There's no way around this.
48:07
Eldar: My dad can be the same thing that he does.
48:10
Eldar: So
48:10
Harris: my dad's not part of the problem.
48:11
Eldar: He is.
48:13
Eldar: He is.
48:14
Eldar: But you're going to through these conversations, you're going to find out that the burden of proof.
48:19
Eldar: Right.
48:19
Eldar: It has to be on you.
48:20
Eldar: So I just gotta, and not your
48:21
Harris: dad.
48:22
Harris: I just gotta come to a way where it goes in one ear out the other and just not, no.
48:27
Eldar: Mm-hmm . That's not what we want for you.
48:29
Eldar: No, that's probably your mom's advice to you or John Schuster advice to you.
48:32
Eldar: That's exactly
48:32
Harris: what my mom's advice is because,
48:34
Eldar: well, there you go.
48:34
Eldar: See, then
48:36
Harris: you know what's wrong.
48:37
Harris: My, my mom basically goes, I don't know how you fucking do it the way your dad is.
48:41
Eldar: Well, yeah.
48:42
Eldar: 'cause she didn't figure it out.
48:43
Eldar: Right.
48:45
Eldar: Yes, totally
48:46
Toliy: is there and your dad probably feels the same way about your mom.
48:51
Harris: My dad believes we're you know, we're great friends I mean, you
48:56
Eldar: know, mm hmm.
48:57
Harris: Yeah,
48:57
Eldar: the same words are used like you love each other.
48:59
Eldar: We get it.
49:02
Harris: Yeah, I Believe part of the reason they remain friends was of course because of me
49:11
Eldar: Mm
49:12
Harris: hmm the kid,
49:14
Eldar: you know, why is it scary to call things for what they
49:20
Toliy: are because that Um, requires you to surrender to, well, to one, surrender, but, but two, to admit that, that you don't know that you don't have it right.
49:33
Toliy: Even when it's so obvious when the kid doesn't even want to walk into the house or drives around
49:37
Eldar: for extra time to wait for his dad to fall
49:39
Toliy: asleep?
49:39
Toliy: Admitting that you have, uh, admitting that you're wrong is like, uh, being, being whipped with chopsticks, like while being naked in front of everyone in Times Square.
49:48
Harris: What the fuck?
49:49
Harris: What kind of fucking reference is that?
49:52
Toliy: Yeah, he has pretty good fantasy.
49:53
Toliy: What is wrong
49:54
Eldar: with that?
49:54
Eldar: I'd actually pay a lot of nano to see this happen.
49:56
Eldar: What is wrong
49:57
Toliy: with that?
49:57
Toliy: Yeah, like, the significantly harder part is getting over that than the actual solution.
50:04
Toliy: And that's always proof.
50:06
Toliy: Uh, of it, the, the, his ego in all of these scenarios is holding him back in everything.
50:14
Toliy: It's not the actual like learning of an actual, the humility
50:17
Mike: part is much harder than the actual problem solving or not, not even close.
50:22
Toliy: Yeah, not, not even
50:23
Mike: close.
50:23
Mike: Yeah.
50:26
Eldar: Ty, these guys are onto you, man.
50:28
Harris: I know, man.
50:29
Harris: They're on the attack.
50:30
Harris: . No, they're
50:31
Eldar: not
50:31
Harris: on the
50:31
Eldar: attack.
50:32
Eldar: I know.
50:32
Eldar: I'm just making it.
50:33
Eldar: If you represent, if you are right now representing the majority of the egos, the cosmos of egos they are under, are attacking you for sure, but they're a small fraction like nobody gives a fuck about them.
50:42
Toliy: Those, all those flare ups that he has of bad attitudes or like different stuff like that.
50:47
Toliy: Like if, if that's in the.
50:49
Toliy: Um, in an ignorant person, more ignorant person's hands, for example, like his dad, those same things have happened that happens.
50:56
Toliy: So for example, here in front of us, yeah, it happens there in that same way.
51:00
Toliy: All right.
51:02
Toliy: Um, just that person does, does, does to know exactly how to maybe like respond to it properly.
51:07
Toliy: Yeah.
51:07
Toliy: Right.
51:08
Toliy: But just like an hour ago or an hour and a half ago, he's ready to take my head off.
51:11
Toliy: Cause I said, he's going to be on a.
51:13
Toliy: Um, Oh yeah, to put them on what not, not a full commission.
51:19
Toliy: What, what was the word I was using a full incentive base before even asking me any questions before even saying, Hey, are you serious?
51:28
Toliy: So like, you know, that's a hard one to jump over.
51:32
Toliy: Well, no, but I'm saying is that like, even the person that is helping him or the people that are doing stuff for him, he's ready to kill for sure.
51:40
Eldar: Because I think that he likes us up to a point.
51:43
Harris: Uh, what are you talking about?
51:44
Toliy: That, that's very correct.
51:46
Harris: It's not that, bro.
51:47
Eldar: Harris, don't
51:47
Harris: worry about
51:48
Toliy: it,
51:48
Eldar: I'm not offended.
51:49
Harris: It's not that I like you up to a point.
51:51
Harris: Oh, no, what do you mean?
51:52
Harris: You like me because I pay your bills.
51:54
Harris: No, man, I feel like it's gonna be because the incentives feel like totally is gonna raise them to a level that You're not going to hit them and that you're,
52:02
Toliy: you're going to be broke and have no money that, that, that, that's what totally is going to do.
52:06
Toliy: The thing is, I feel like
52:08
Harris: the incentives are going to be hot.
52:09
Harris: It's either come with a good attitude, uh, which I'm having a problem with already.
52:17
Toliy: What if you explain it to somebody?
52:18
Toliy: Hey, I'm about to start getting paid just
52:20
Eldar: to come in with a
52:20
Harris: good
52:20
Toliy: attitude.
52:20
Toliy: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
52:21
Toliy: I have this new sales structure, right?
52:23
Toliy: That's not going to do really closing any deals.
52:25
Toliy: Yeah, they said I have to come in every day with a great attitude.
52:28
Toliy: You're even the one that said you
52:29
Harris: don't give a shit about the money.
52:30
Harris: You want everything you can as a human.
52:32
Harris: What, what,
52:32
Toliy: what fucking evil fucking, uh, bosses you work for?
52:35
Toliy: Yeah, no, I'm just saying, you know,
52:37
Eldar: like what, what have you actually told somebody?
52:40
Eldar: Should we, wait, should we put together an ad?
52:42
Eldar: Should we hire the next person with these qualities?
52:44
Eldar: What is wrong
52:45
Toliy: with
52:46
Harris: you, man?
52:46
Toliy: You already put an idea in my ass.
52:47
Toliy: What if he told his dad like, hey, um, hey dad, um, I want to run something by you.
52:52
Toliy: Right.
52:53
Toliy: Um, the guys are proposing, um, a few different costs, like, uh, like, uh, payment structures from, from me.
53:00
Toliy: Right.
53:01
Toliy: One involves me hitting these particular financial quotas.
53:04
Toliy: The other involves me being a good person, being compassionate, being honest.
53:10
Toliy: Um, humble and coming into work with, with a good attitude.
53:14
Toliy: Yeah.
53:14
Toliy: What do you think I should go with?
53:15
Harris: It's already
53:19
Eldar: What do you think he would say, say though?
53:22
Eldar: I, I, no, I think he'd lose his shit.
53:25
Eldar: Like, what, what if he looks at me with a straight face and say, you know Yeah, I'd be sick.
53:29
Eldar: I'd pay a thousand nano for this.
53:30
Eldar: If that's going to be executed this way.
53:35
Harris: I feel like it's going to be hard for me to reach incentives.
53:38
Harris: I mean, look at the way I was as an SDR, man.
53:41
Harris: I never reached my goal once, man.
53:44
Toliy: You're not listening.
53:45
Toliy: Yeah.
53:46
Toliy: You're still not listening.
53:47
Toliy: I'm listening.
53:47
Toliy: You might have to take off the earmuffs.
53:49
Toliy: No.
53:49
Toliy: Can we have a taser?
53:50
Toliy: Can we buy
53:51
Eldar: a taser?
53:51
Eldar: We have to tase him every time he doesn't listen.
53:53
Eldar: How much do I know
53:53
Harris: I do I get for letting you tase me?
53:55
Harris: Yeah,
53:55
Eldar: there you go.
53:57
Eldar: Probably nothing.
53:57
Eldar: Cause you probably like it.
53:58
Eldar: And no, I've never been tased,
54:00
Harris: man.
54:00
Harris: Even better.
54:02
Harris: I mean, when you become a cop, you gotta get tased, right?
54:04
Harris: Yeah, yeah,
54:05
Toliy: yeah.
54:06
Toliy: Here, Big, Big Bad Toe is going to create these, uh, impossible to reach, uh, incentives so that, uh, little Harris is broken.
54:13
Toliy: My attitude can change that.
54:14
Toliy: That's the
54:14
Eldar: problem.
54:14
Eldar: In order, in order for you to survive here in this type of environment, it's inevitable.
54:23
Eldar: Otherwise, it's gonna be very painful.
54:25
Eldar: It's already very painful.
54:26
Eldar: No, it's not, Harris.
54:27
Eldar: You know why?
54:28
Eldar: Because the testimonies are recorded.
54:30
Eldar: You keep saying that you like coming to work.
54:32
Eldar: I do like coming to send this or no?
54:34
Eldar: This is the final testimony that at the end of the day, you like coming to work.
54:39
Harris: Well, yeah, I'm surrounded by great people, fun people.
54:42
Harris: And for you to say he likes us to a point, no, man, this is probably my most enjoyable fucking part of the day.
54:49
Harris: No,
54:49
Toliy: but you prove it out that you like, that like, you like it to a point.
54:53
Toliy: What do you mean?
54:54
Toliy: Well, you just said, but everybody does, but that's like
54:56
Mike: a, yeah, that's like a normal thing.
54:57
Mike: No, I know.
54:58
Mike: But he's saying no,
54:59
Eldar: his, his, his thing is no, but he just, he's going to say that.
55:01
Eldar: Come on.
55:02
Eldar: Yeah.
55:02
Eldar: Uh, his, his run rate is going to be short.
55:04
Eldar: Come on.
55:05
Eldar: What do you mean?
55:08
Eldar: Okay.
55:08
Eldar: I'll explain it.
55:10
Eldar: I'll explain it.
55:13
Eldar: And I don't want to like boast him in front of you, but he's, he wants the best for you.
55:19
Eldar: Do we agree?
55:19
Eldar: No.
55:21
Eldar: You see, look, you see, I'm setting you up here.
55:23
Eldar: Yes.
55:23
Eldar: I agree.
55:24
Eldar: I'm going to keep setting you up up until a point that you're going to be like, Oh yeah.
55:28
Eldar: Like that doesn't, that doesn't add up.
55:31
Eldar: He wants you to be, to get good at what you do.
55:33
Eldar: Correct.
55:34
Eldar: He started you off in one place, right?
55:36
Eldar: And then he's like, Hey, I think we should move you to a different place now.
55:38
Eldar: Yeah.
55:39
Eldar: Right.
55:40
Eldar: He's constantly thinking, he's actively thinking on how to make sure that you succeed.
55:45
Eldar: Somebody who's trying to do that, unlike your dad, right?
55:48
Eldar: Unlike anybody in my family.
55:49
Eldar: There you go, right, who's actively thinking about you.
55:51
Eldar: I already,
55:52
Harris: I already admitted, right, that out of everyone in my life, you guys are the ones that want something good for me, want me to succeed.
56:03
Harris: Mm hmm.
56:03
Harris: Everyone else is shooting it down.
56:07
Eldar: But Harris, one day, you will understand the fact that we want good for you, not because of you.
56:12
Eldar: It's because we want good.
56:13
Eldar: Okay?
56:14
Eldar: It's not because of you.
56:14
Eldar: You just happen to be here.
56:15
Eldar: You just happen to stumble upon that.
56:17
Eldar: Okay?
56:18
Eldar: So one day, you're going to be able to give us the props for that reason.
56:21
Eldar: And not because we're some good people, quote, unquote, people that we like you, because the truth is we don't like you.
56:26
Eldar: Oh, fuck you, man.
56:26
Eldar: Well, I'm serious.
56:29
Eldar: You know what I mean?
56:30
Eldar: With enough time, with enough understanding, we can grow to love you.
56:34
Eldar: Okay?
56:35
Eldar: But that, the jury's still out on that.
56:38
Eldar: So the example of Tole's, where a person who's constantly actively thinking and trying to help you out, right?
56:44
Eldar: He's also came up with that idea of a new pay structure, which was in your favor.
56:47
Eldar: Yes or no?
56:50
Eldar: I guess.
56:51
Eldar: You want me to remind you how many notes you had to write in order to drive the car you drive?
56:55
Harris: Yeah.
56:56
Eldar: Was that a big burden?
56:57
Eldar: Yes.
56:58
Eldar: Yes, it was.
56:58
Eldar: You know who lifted that burden?
57:00
Eldar: So you guess or you're sure about it?
57:02
Eldar: Yeah.
57:02
Eldar: And who else
57:03
Harris: was it that created the, uh, the thing where our new Arrangement.
57:08
Eldar: Yeah.
57:10
Eldar: Right.
57:10
Eldar: So the individual who is constantly thinking of how to improve your, your quality of life, your being, your financial status and everything else, right.
57:19
Eldar: Should get a blind pass as to like heal whatever suggestion he makes.
57:24
Eldar: I'm going to run with it.
57:25
Eldar: Right.
57:26
Eldar: Because I know that I'll be in good hands because he wishes the best for me.
57:28
Eldar: I think I
57:29
Harris: just have a tendency to forget.
57:30
Eldar: No, no, no, no, no.
57:31
Eldar: Hold on one second.
57:32
Eldar: Yes, this is true.
57:33
Eldar: You do.
57:34
Eldar: You have this condition that we talked about, right?
57:36
Eldar: Oh my God.
57:36
Eldar: Not that you only forget, but you also don't, don't operate out of what we operate out of.
57:41
Eldar: Right?
57:41
Eldar: You don't see these things yet, naturally and organically.
57:44
Eldar: Therefore, you have a run rate.
57:46
Eldar: Therefore, one totally comes up with something outlandish like that thing where you just said I have
57:49
Harris: a trouble, problem, fucking
57:51
Eldar: Yeah, you jumping into automatically Into who Harris is and Harris makes assumptions, right?
57:57
Eldar: Yeah.
57:58
Eldar: Harris jumps to conclusions.
58:00
Eldar: Harris is ignorant and doesn't know where, how to ask questions.
58:04
Eldar: How to properly ask what's actually going on or what it entails.
58:07
Eldar: He just jumps to conclusions.
58:08
Eldar: We solved that several times.
58:09
Eldar: Exactly, we solved that several times.
58:11
Eldar: So you display that.
58:12
Eldar: So you're up to a point,
58:13
Harris: right?
58:14
Harris: Let me ask the question, okay?
58:17
Eldar: Yeah.
58:17
Harris: Let me totally explain.
58:22
Eldar: Totally doesn't have to explain because I think that was just an exercise.
58:24
Eldar: What do you mean?
58:25
Eldar: That was just a mental exercise that Toli threw at you.
58:28
Eldar: Right, Toli?
58:29
Eldar: Yeah,
58:29
Toliy: you know how they do a nuclear bomb testing?
58:34
Toliy: I guess, you know, they shoot it.
58:36
Toliy: Just to make sure that it works, see what the defense is like.
58:39
Toliy: Yeah, he wanted to see where you stand.
58:42
Eldar: With that comment
58:43
Harris: and I proved that I stand nowhere.
58:46
Eldar: It's okay.
58:47
Eldar: It's okay.
58:48
Harris: Mm-hmm.
58:49
Harris: Eldar: You know, but it's gonna and see things for what they are, to solidify what's right, what's wrong, who's good, who's not.
58:58
Harris: You know what I mean?
58:58
Harris: That's why we're having this conversation in the first place.
59:01
Harris: How do we find out, right?
59:03
Harris: How do we start thinking for ourselves to know?
59:05
Harris: What's right, what's wrong, who one's good for us, who one's bad for us, right?
59:14
Harris: I think the answer is in critical thinking.
59:18
Harris: And I think that the only people, at least right now, just take a wild guess, that are in your life, that are trying to push for this, is the individuals in this room.
59:26
Harris: Okay?
59:28
Harris: Hence, why, right?
59:31
Harris: For many explainable reasons why you like coming to work and we're having fun, but right, but some ignoramus out there, some ignoramus out there, no
59:48
Mike: name.
59:48
Eldar: We're not, we're not going to name any names has the ability, right?
59:54
Eldar: To wave his little magic wand of ignorance and say, you know what, you're not going to have fun with him anymore.
1:00:01
Eldar: You know what?
1:00:02
Eldar: I might make it in such a way where you might even get fired.
1:00:05
Eldar: I'm not going to say his name.
1:00:07
Eldar: We're not going to say his name.
1:00:09
Eldar: So I don't think he even deserves saying his name.
1:00:14
Eldar: You know what I'm saying?
1:00:14
Eldar: How?
1:00:17
Eldar: How can that which is happening, the testimony is real, it's all recorded, it's in your face, can completely be swayed, right, and thrown into trash, and you run with something else, an illusion that you yourself was working towards getting rid of, because you even said yourself, like, I'm working on my self esteem, I want to be better, you know what I mean, I want to have fun, who gives a fuck, I don't care about people, what people think, right?
1:00:44
Eldar: Yeah.
1:00:44
Harris: What I, yeah.
1:00:46
Harris: I was freaking out about wearing no shirt, right?
1:00:52
Harris: But you got fucking fluffy out there, you know fluffy Dude,
1:00:55
Eldar: I gave you some names too.
1:00:56
Eldar: I gave you DJ Khaled.
1:00:58
Eldar: I gave you Rick Ross.
1:00:59
Eldar: No, I
1:00:59
Harris: know, but you got Fluffy who's making a joke that I'm too.
1:01:02
Harris: People are like, Oh, look at the fat man in the Volkswagen, you know, the fucking rag on themselves.
1:01:06
Harris: What about Bert Kreischer?
1:01:08
Harris: Who the fuck is that?
1:01:09
Harris: What about that Mexican comedian?
1:01:10
Harris: Who?
1:01:11
Toliy: That Mexican comedian.
1:01:13
Toliy: No, the, the comedian that he performs only shirtless.
1:01:16
Toliy: Yeah.
1:01:17
Toliy: Oh yeah.
1:01:17
Toliy: That guy too.
1:01:17
Toliy: Yeah.
1:01:18
Toliy: That guy too.
1:01:18
Toliy: I don't know his name.
1:01:19
Toliy: That guy.
1:01:19
Toliy: Yeah.
1:01:19
Toliy: And
1:01:20
Mike: you know, I was working on No, but that wasn't even the thing though.
1:01:25
Mike: The shirt thing wasn't a thing.
1:01:27
Mike: The thing was, it was that, it was he, you attack something and the same thing with Tully just did.
1:01:32
Mike: He attacked something that he has a very strong attachment to, which is money.
1:01:35
Mike: Because everybody's giving him pressure about money.
1:01:38
Mike: Everybody's saying like, yo, you're not getting paid enough.
1:01:41
Mike: Oh, there's no future, you're not gonna make enough money.
1:01:43
Mike: So that is a sensitive subject because he actually hasn't taken a stance on it.
1:01:47
Mike: If you were to say, yo, something that he doesn't really give a fuck about.
1:01:50
Toliy: Yeah, and, and, and, and that thing that he got upset about, um, had nothing to do with his self esteem of the body.
1:01:57
Toliy: No, no.
1:01:58
Mike: It had nothing to do with that,
1:02:00
Harris: no.
1:02:00
Harris: It just went back to my My deck, cause all I thought about was Oh man, I'm gonna live in fucking hell If I don't make money I'm making right now If it goes down, my life Is gonna get a hundred times worse No, I'm talking about
1:02:16
Toliy: the thing from last week The robe thing had nothing to do with Self esteem of the body
1:02:22
Harris: No, it had to do with what other people thought
1:02:25
Mike: No, no, no, no, no.
1:02:27
Mike: It was that line that, uh, your brother said to you,
1:02:30
Harris: that's
1:02:31
Mike: the whole
1:02:31
Harris: point that I was going to get roasted.
1:02:33
Harris: Uh,
1:02:33
Mike: no, that, that they were just using you to make fun of you.
1:02:36
Mike: That was the thing that you stood
1:02:38
Toliy: your ground.
1:02:39
Toliy: That you're not being talked to or made fun of in that kind of way anymore.
1:02:43
Mike: Yeah, because you're not convinced that actually the people in that moment when your brother said that you're you're not convinced that these people in this room actually care for you.
1:02:52
Mike: That
1:02:52
Harris: wasn't the majority problem.
1:02:53
Harris: It was getting roasted.
1:02:54
Harris: It was becoming a lava star who was going viral for being an idiot.
1:02:59
Harris: Yeah, I think it's that.
1:03:00
Eldar: I think he just used that as defense.
1:03:02
Eldar: Yeah, which is fine.
1:03:03
Eldar: That, that stuff that he, they talking about where you like, no, I'm going to stand on my word and all this other stuff.
1:03:08
Eldar: Now that I think that he just used that as a defense.
1:03:10
Eldar: Yeah,
1:03:10
Harris: it was John putting in my head.
1:03:12
Harris: No, I'm not talking about
1:03:13
Toliy: saying on the word I'm talking about there, there was particular lines that he was saying that his brother was saying, um, yeah, but that's not even the problem that he, he, he took on and they involved like, um, the way that people talk to you or that, um, like, Like that, that they, they, they, they hire you just for you to be a punching bag.
1:03:35
Toliy: No, no, no, that wasn't
1:03:36
Harris: even
1:03:37
Toliy: A piñata, the
1:03:38
Eldar: next piñata.
1:03:39
Eldar: That wasn't
1:03:39
Harris: even the problem.
1:03:41
Harris: The problem for me was, Oh, the, you know, the people at the PPR, they're gonna roast you, you don't even know what you're fucking getting into.
1:03:49
Harris: You're gonna become the next viral fucking thing.
1:03:53
Harris: I let them get in my head, cause that's the one thing that I worked on for so hard was not to give a shit, but I still have a tiny piece in there.
1:04:04
Eldar: I don't think it's very tiny, but yeah,
1:04:06
Harris: yeah,
1:04:07
Mike: you have a few attachments and one of them is money.
1:04:11
Mike: My second on the pink dildo and
1:04:15
Harris: why you always got to come at me with my vape, man.
1:04:17
Harris: Yeah, it's
1:04:18
Mike: pink And uh, and I think when you hit those nerves like if totally says to you anytime that he says y'all we're gonna have to quit Smoking right away.
1:04:27
Mike: Your reaction is automatic defense.
1:04:29
Mike: You don't think like y'all he's joking or he's not being serious You will have a huge attachment.
1:04:33
Mike: I have a huge I've accepted the fact
1:04:36
Harris: that I'm probably never gonna quit man
1:04:39
Mike: Yeah, but I don't think you've accepted actually your stance is more you embraced it because you have a very strong if you accepted It's like yeah, I'm accepted it and I can't change anything about it Your stance is like I've accepted and I don't want to change anything about it because you have an attachment to it I think
1:04:55
Harris: yeah, I can't live daily life.
1:04:56
Harris: Yeah,
1:04:57
Mike: and that's why you have a strong attachment to it.
1:04:59
Mike: Same thing with the money Same thing with uh,
1:05:02
Harris: well the money is my dad's on my case.
1:05:07
Mike: Well, yeah, your dad's on your case.
1:05:09
Mike: I know that.
1:05:10
Mike: But that's because you actually haven't understood the point and you haven't actually took a stance where like, you know, where you stand about money.
1:05:19
Harris: The money.
1:05:19
Harris: I'm fine.
1:05:20
Harris: Right.
1:05:21
Harris: I've figured out, you know, unfortunately, I guess my dad making a point that he feels I'm okay living check to check.
1:05:30
Harris: Mm-hmm . Mm-hmm . Yeah.
1:05:32
Harris: I'm young.
1:05:33
Harris: Let me live my life man.
1:05:34
Harris: Let me enjoy it for a little bit.
1:05:35
Harris: Yeah before I get married and have kids No, I don't have to Gotta start worrying about money right now.
1:05:47
Harris: I'm young.
1:05:48
Harris: Let me money's gonna come eventually.
1:05:51
Harris: Yeah, enjoy a little bit Yeah, let me enjoy the money I'm making Yeah, he enjoyed the money.
1:05:58
Harris: He was making, you know, he talked about always partying his brains out spending his money, you know, and oh, I don't regret it.
1:06:05
Harris: Well, I'm not regretting it.
1:06:06
Harris: I'm having a great fucking time.
1:06:07
Mike: You remind him though.
1:06:08
Mike: Um, when you absolutely not.
1:06:10
Mike: No.
1:06:10
Mike: Okay.
1:06:11
Mike: When you watch the kids, right?
1:06:13
Mike: Uh, Gator, Tater and, uh, Baiter.
1:06:17
Mike: Baiter.
1:06:18
Mike: When you watch the kids, right?
1:06:19
Mike: Um, do you let them make mistakes and fall, or do you run around like a nutcase and making sure they don't hit their heads, they don't fall, they don't put their No,
1:06:27
Harris: falling's gonna come.
1:06:28
Mike: He runs around to make sure He runs around like a nutcase.
1:06:30
Mike: Of course.
1:06:31
Harris: Falling's gonna come.
1:06:32
Harris: I did that at first, but then Okay, so what do you think I've heard,
1:06:34
Mike: I've heard the way they speak.
1:06:35
Mike: Yeah.
1:06:36
Mike: Yeah, you saw this, right?
1:06:37
Mike: So I saw this.
1:06:38
Mike: Yeah, he's an erotic mom.
1:06:39
Mike: Yes, and he breastfeed them too.
1:06:40
Mike: So what is wrong?
1:06:41
Mike: Yeah, there's no
1:06:42
Harris: breastfeeding around here.
1:06:44
Mike: So the exact thing that dad is doing is he wants he's trying He's trying to prevent you from hurting yourself because parents they think their kids are really dumb and incompetent You know, but they probably would never admit that, but the way they carry themselves and behave is like they, they constantly, um, think we're not capable or smart and they always try to prevent us from getting a lesson was actually what's happening, but they're trying to prevent us from falling.
1:07:12
Mike: But the truth is in a fall, there's an opportunity to learn a lesson.
1:07:16
Mike: And your dad doesn't understand that and most parents probably don't understand that, but if you were, if you were able to understand that, and I don't know if you could convey that to him, I'm not sure if that's the right move, but
1:07:34
Harris: No, because he thinks he can solve me for making the same mistakes he made.
1:07:39
Harris: That's the whole point of why he's doing it.
1:07:41
Mike: And has it been successful?
1:07:42
Harris: No.
1:07:43
Mike: Okay.
1:07:44
Mike: But he's doing a good job.
1:07:44
Mike: He's afraid to
1:07:44
Harris: keep doing it.
1:07:45
Harris: Yeah, I mean, he says, Oh, I'm wasting my breath.
1:07:48
Harris: But he still says it.
1:07:49
Mike: Have you ever asked him, So why, why you keep doing it?
1:07:52
Mike: I haven't, no.
1:07:53
Mike: No.
1:07:54
Mike: Listen, I think it's
1:07:55
Eldar: a natural process.
1:07:56
Eldar: Yeah.
1:07:57
Eldar: I think it's a natural process.
1:07:58
Eldar: And, uh.
1:07:58
Eldar: Like, he,
1:07:59
Harris: he, he got his feelings hurt.
1:08:01
Eldar: Yeah.
1:08:02
Harris: When Hugh gave me my first car, you mm-hmm . It's my first car.
1:08:07
Harris: Mm-hmm . He got his feelings hurt.
1:08:09
Eldar: Mm-hmm.
1:08:09
Eldar: Harris: Well, yeah, when my uh, probably half his house.
1:08:12
Eldar: No, he got feelings first hurt because he feels it's the dad's responsibility to get the son his first car.
1:08:19
Eldar: I'm your dad now,
1:08:20
Harris: and now he feels Yeah.
1:08:22
Harris: That I have the best thing in the world.
1:08:24
Harris: Best car in the world.
1:08:25
Harris: I'm driving a Tesla.
1:08:26
Harris: That's right.
1:08:27
Harris: That he goes, you know, you're gonna wanna buy a car one day, and I you're, it's not gonna be a Tesla.
1:08:34
Harris: Mm-hmm . It's gonna be a 5,000 car.
1:08:37
Harris: Mm.
1:08:37
Toliy: Wait, so why don't we take away the Tesla and give him, give him an opportunity to get him a car?
1:08:41
Toliy: No, because yeah, I have to pay the majority of it.
1:08:44
Toliy: Then what is he talking about?
1:08:45
Toliy: What kind of Jewish magic is this?
1:08:47
Eldar: Yeah.
1:08:47
Harris: He, he feels.
1:08:49
Eldar: I don't make no sense.
1:08:50
Eldar: So whose car is it?
1:08:51
Eldar: He
1:08:51
Harris: feels it's not a good look for someone to, uh, uh, to buy the kid, the, the car and pay the insurance.
1:09:00
Harris: So his
1:09:00
Eldar: argument just doesn't make sense all across the board.
1:09:02
Harris: He wants to put money towards the car, but I need to show him that.
1:09:05
Eldar: So you're gonna pay me.
1:09:08
Eldar: How much can he afford?
1:09:08
Eldar: 5 a month?
1:09:11
Eldar: Ask him, I'll let him, I'll let him contribute.
1:09:13
Eldar: That's not the point.
1:09:14
Eldar: What do you mean?
1:09:15
Eldar: I can give him the rights and say, you know what?
1:09:16
Eldar: You can talk shit and tell Harris that, you know, you're paying for the car.
1:09:19
Eldar: You can ride him a little bit more.
1:09:22
Harris: No, thank you.
1:09:23
Eldar: No, thank you.
1:09:24
Eldar: I'll give you 20 bucks.
1:09:26
Eldar: Can you afford 20?
1:09:29
Eldar: Yeah, I understand, like, how can you,
1:09:31
Toliy: how can you, if, if he actually does, which I'm not even sure, but how can you feel bad about the scenario if you have two cars sitting in your driveway and you're not,
1:09:39
Harris: I, I can't tell you how many times, I was gonna help you get a car, you know, but you got your Tesla, Yeah, the thing is,
1:09:46
Mike: you don't challenge him, you don't say, my man, you had a car, you have two cars in the thing, you don't let me drive, can you shut the fuck up please?
1:09:52
Mike: What the fuck are you talking about?
1:09:54
Harris: He thinks he thought his Nissan was too fast, man We should line that shit up right now right now Set it up on a road boy set up on the track.
1:10:05
Harris: I'll wipe my ass with that shit.
1:10:08
Mike: Yes, you would he's a numbnuts But you don't, you're also numbness cause you don't know how to actually, uh, challenge him yet, but I'm not blaming you for being numb nuts.
1:10:22
Mike: I'm just stating the facts.
1:10:23
Mike: Well, you were numb nuts one time as well.
1:10:25
Mike: Yeah, I know that.
1:10:27
Mike: So what's the problem?
1:10:28
Mike: We were all, and I'll be a numb nuts in the future too.
1:10:30
Mike: Most likely, you know what I'm saying?
1:10:35
Mike: So
1:10:40
Eldar: did you get it?
1:10:41
Eldar: Yeah, so what's the answer to original question?
1:10:44
Eldar: What's the original question?
1:10:45
Eldar: Oh, one, you know one nano.
1:10:49
Eldar: What's the original question that we posed?
1:10:50
Eldar: We
1:10:50
Harris: went a lot of different ways We're still on the same expires in 30 seconds What the one nano is my hair man?
1:10:59
Harris: Oh shit the original question 20 seconds How do we let people stop letting people get into our minds?
1:11:09
Mike: 10 seconds, that's right.
1:11:10
Mike: I already did it, bro.
1:11:11
Mike: And why?
1:11:12
Mike: Why do we allow this?
1:11:13
Mike: See, you're right, Tole.
1:11:15
Mike: Once you put money in line, the brain starts working.
1:11:16
Mike: No, I already
1:11:17
Harris: knew what it was.
1:11:18
Harris: It just takes me a minute to get there.
1:11:20
Harris: That's why
1:11:20
Mike: I
1:11:20
Toliy: said starting Monday, everything is intentional.
1:11:21
Toliy: Everything has to be intentional.
1:11:23
Toliy: It just takes me a minute
1:11:24
Harris: to get there.
1:11:26
Harris: I have Alzheimer's
1:11:29
Eldar: what kind of car?
1:11:30
Eldar: Oh, that's a nice car.
1:11:32
Harris: Ultima.
1:11:33
Harris: Oh, Alzheimer's.
1:11:36
Harris: If you want to go,
1:11:38
Eldar: I'm not sure.
1:11:40
Eldar: Yeah.
1:11:40
Eldar: He peed outside.
1:11:42
Eldar: Maybe she has to squeeze one out.
1:11:45
Eldar: All right.
1:11:45
Eldar: So now that you know the question, did we answer it a little bit or no?
1:11:48
Harris: Yeah.
1:11:49
Harris: We did and I was nervous for this podcast with the fuck.
1:11:54
Mike: Come on, Vinny.
1:11:54
Mike: Oh,
1:11:55
Harris: that's
1:11:55
Eldar: crazy.
1:11:56
Eldar: You always get nervous
1:11:57
Harris: Yeah, why I don't know.
1:11:59
Harris: I thought it was gonna be like
1:12:01
Eldar: What when was it a point where we did a podcast and you came out of it like oh shit this hurts so much I don't want to do this again
1:12:07
Harris: ever but you know, I'm used to getting I guess
1:12:11
Toliy: why doesn't the student Operate in a way where he allows the teacher to let them down Yeah, versus like the other, well, like, um, constantly in this teacher student dynamic, the student's always concerned about like, uh, particular things, right?
1:12:28
Toliy: And they're always afraid about this, or like, not sure about that, or like, don't think that this method's gonna work, or like, like any of that, right?
1:12:37
Toliy: Um, they're, They, they have their concerns and they have their fears, right?
1:12:43
Toliy: They have their doubts and they don't think this is going to work or that's going to work or all that.
1:12:47
Toliy: So why don't they just remove that and just give the opportunity for the teacher to be wrong and be like, see teacher, like you don't know shit.
1:12:56
Toliy: Yeah, that is a funny question.
1:13:00
Eldar: Yeah.
1:13:00
Eldar: I said that, that the student doesn't deserve to see that outcome.
1:13:04
Mike: No, I know that what's actually going through the student's mind.
1:13:07
Toliy: Uh, the thing is that, uh, the student, the student thinks that they know more than the teacher.
1:13:12
Eldar: Yeah.
1:13:12
Eldar: And therefore they're under the impression that they're going to get
1:13:15
Toliy: uncomfortable saying it in that kind of plain text.
1:13:17
Toliy: Well,
1:13:17
Mike: yeah.
1:13:17
Mike: I think, uh, what I had, what came to my mind is that, um, the student understands pain, right?
1:13:25
Mike: Yeah.
1:13:28
Toliy: Not, not pain.
1:13:28
Toliy: I think the student understands their, the, the student is comfortable with their current existence
1:13:35
Mike: to me.
1:13:35
Mike: It was like, I was thinking it was the student understands pain and they, they're under the impression that the pain doesn't lead to any like actual answers.
1:13:44
Toliy: Well, I think it's more like the way they were operating before they're, they're more comfortable or they understand what pain is and how, how everything works in their current existence and anything outside of that.
1:13:57
Toliy: Um, sounds more of like more like, uh, either it's not doable or difficult or like more painful than what they currently have.
1:14:07
Toliy: And then they also leverage their previous experiences of failure to believe that something is not going to happen or not doable or not possible.
1:14:17
Toliy: Or like you'll constantly hear things.
1:14:19
Toliy: I've tried everything.
1:14:21
Mike: Well, yeah, that's, that's what, that's what, like, um, that's what it made me ignorant statement, right?
1:14:27
Mike: Yeah, it
1:14:27
Toliy: is.
1:14:28
Mike: I've tried
1:14:28
Toliy: everything.
1:14:29
Harris: Hey, I never once said that, man.
1:14:32
Toliy: Or like, I've tried that before.
1:14:33
Toliy: Hey, I never once
1:14:34
Harris: said that, man.
1:14:35
Harris: I said I tried everything before.
1:14:38
Eldar: No, because you gotta understand that the individual who is ignorant and arrogant, right, that is the go to answer.
1:14:44
Eldar: So, if you are that, therefore you used this technique.
1:14:46
Eldar: And yes, you did.
1:14:49
Harris: I don't remember that.
1:14:50
Eldar: No, I know.
1:14:51
Eldar: The individual who says it constantly don't remember the things that they say constantly.
1:14:54
Eldar: They just constantly use the same excuse and they think they can get away with it.
1:14:57
Eldar: Just not here.
1:14:58
Eldar: Oh, fuck it.
1:14:59
Eldar: Don't worry.
1:15:02
Toliy: I, I even remember in what example he said that.
1:15:05
Eldar: I know.
1:15:08
Toliy: Yeah.
1:15:08
Toliy: So.
1:15:09
Toliy: Like, yeah, my question is that, but like, yeah, you're saying it's like, they're, they're just deserving of not figuring shit out and more suffering.
1:15:16
Toliy: Holy fuck, yo.
1:15:17
Toliy: Yeah.
1:15:18
Toliy: What the fuck?
1:15:19
Mike: Yeah.
1:15:19
Mike: That's like the logical thing.
1:15:22
Toliy: Right?
1:15:22
Toliy: Yeah.
1:15:23
Toliy: That, that's also why that movie in the Karate Kid movie, that, that's like displayed like.
1:15:29
Toliy: Over and over again.
1:15:31
Toliy: This
1:15:31
Eldar: phenomenon,
1:15:32
Toliy: that, that phenomenon, it's always the, and in that, in that example, I told you before where the students like, yo, I'm fucking done with this shit.
1:15:39
Toliy: Like not learning shit.
1:15:41
Toliy: Like, what are you going to actually start teaching me?
1:15:42
Toliy: Karate.
1:15:43
Eldar: Yeah.
1:15:44
Toliy: Right.
1:15:45
Toliy: Um, and, and like the students can like, uh, confused in that kind of way.
1:15:52
Toliy: The, the, the one thing I like this for a long time when the, when the teacher's being challenged in that kind of way, they're not willing to like explain it.
1:16:00
Toliy: They want the student to like, to be vulnerable almost.
1:16:04
Toliy: Yeah, I know you like that approach, yeah.
1:16:06
Toliy: I know you like that approach.
1:16:07
Toliy: Until there's a breaking point, and the guy's like, and the guy's like, Okay, come here, I'll show you.
1:16:12
Toliy: Yeah.
1:16:13
Toliy: And then the student leaves Baffle like, oh fuck, like, I'm a fucking moron.
1:16:17
Toliy: Like I've been learning this shit this whole time.
1:16:19
Toliy: I can't believe what just happened.
1:16:20
Toliy: They're fucking like, yeah, I mean, it's probably
1:16:23
Eldar: accumulation of epiphanies that they need to require.
1:16:25
Eldar: Right.
1:16:25
Eldar: That needs to take place for you to kind of wake up the, the mind or the, the intrinsic, um, installed mechanism of the soul maybe that we all have.
1:16:31
Eldar: Right.
1:16:31
Eldar: Yeah.
1:16:41
Eldar: That's a very interesting phenomenon.
1:16:42
Eldar: Right.
1:16:43
Eldar: That, uh, there's this power bank of ego.
1:16:48
Eldar: Right.
1:16:48
Eldar: And those who do have it, or go through the process of.
1:16:52
Eldar: Box tracking shit in life and you know, kind of signing up for a very mediocre kind of existence You know, kind of like it's
1:17:00
Toliy: the same program.
1:17:01
Toliy: Yeah there's like this one scene where they they go somewhere in like a little trip and like a Like a thief comes up to them and and like yeah, he allows him to rob him Yeah, and he's like, well, are you fucking crazy?
1:17:14
Toliy: Like yeah, you know, like you couldn't beat the shit out of yeah You know?
1:17:19
Toliy: And I forgot what he said, but it's like, yo, why'd you just let him take all that shit?
1:17:25
Toliy: You know?
1:17:26
Toliy: Yeah.
1:17:28
Toliy: You know, but his lesson was something like, yo, it sounded like he needed it more than we do.
1:17:32
Eldar: Yeah.
1:17:32
Eldar: Yeah.
1:17:32
Eldar: Yeah.
1:17:33
Eldar: Of course.
1:17:33
Eldar: Yeah.
1:17:34
Toliy: Can you do more than one?
1:17:35
Toliy: Peace of water.
1:17:35
Toliy: The whole thing.
1:17:36
Toliy: Yeah.
1:17:38
Eldar: Yeah.
1:17:41
Harris: I don't know, man.
1:17:43
Harris: I'm trying to have a conversation with Zeke and I don't know what the fuck he's saying.
1:17:47
Harris: That's okay.
1:17:48
Harris: We'll translate it.
1:17:50
Harris: Zeke is,
1:17:54
Eldar: he's an artist.
1:17:54
Eldar: I know he's an artist.
1:17:55
Eldar: That's why.
1:17:56
Eldar: Yeah.
1:17:56
Eldar: He's learning how to communicate with the public.
1:17:58
Eldar: Remember, we talked about this.
1:17:59
Eldar: This was his lesson.
1:18:01
Eldar: What was I suggest What did I suggest to Zeke?
1:18:03
Eldar: If you get this, I give you a hundred nano.
1:18:05
Eldar: What?
1:18:06
Eldar: There's a very specific thing that I recommended for Zeke at the end.
1:18:09
Harris: Yes, I remember.
1:18:10
Harris: In
1:18:10
Eldar: order for him to get this message across.
1:18:12
Eldar: What was it?
1:18:16
Harris: You can't please the people.
1:18:18
Harris: That was one of the things you can't do it for others.
1:18:22
Harris: You got to do it for yourself.
1:18:25
Harris: That was one of the things
1:18:26
Eldar: I gave him a very specific action to do.
1:18:28
Eldar: There was two different things that he does.
1:18:29
Eldar: And I told him which one to do.
1:18:32
Eldar: You went down to 10 nano now.
1:18:34
Harris: What do you mean compared to the two things he's doing?
1:18:36
Eldar: She's currently doing.
1:18:37
Eldar: Yeah.
1:18:37
Eldar: He's doing two things.
1:18:38
Harris: He's making music.
1:18:40
Harris: He's focusing on his art.
1:18:42
Harris: He told me to focus on the art.
1:18:43
Eldar: You're an idiot.
1:18:44
Eldar: I told him to rap.
1:18:46
Eldar: Why?
1:18:47
Eldar: I told him to rap.
1:18:48
Eldar: Why?
1:18:49
Eldar: Because I told him specifically that I don't know how you're going to convey your message and what you're about through art But through words, you might be able to.
1:18:57
Eldar: I told him to rap.
1:18:59
Harris: Oh, I thought it was the other way around.
1:19:01
Harris: I mean, he's a good rapper.
1:19:03
Harris: But you can convey yourself through art.
1:19:06
Mike: I think it's very hard.
1:19:07
Mike: I'm not sure how you would
1:19:08
Harris: do it.
1:19:08
Harris: What do
1:19:09
Mike: you convey, man?
1:19:10
Mike: The fuck?
1:19:11
Mike: There's no conveying.
1:19:12
Mike: It's all interpretation.
1:19:15
Mike: Unless you know how to listen to art with headphones.
1:19:19
Mike: Do a painting.
1:19:21
Harris: I'm waiting for him to release his new track, man.
1:19:24
Mike: Send him a picture of your, uh, belly.
1:19:32
Eldar: Mike, what do you have for us?
1:19:34
Eldar: You have anything?
1:19:36
Eldar: We've discussed this topic a lot.
1:19:38
Eldar: You know what I mean?
1:19:41
Eldar: It's the same thing every single time.
1:19:43
Toliy: Yeah.
1:19:43
Toliy: But I think that, um, a very interesting, um, I think portion of all this is I like, not now that I'm thinking about it, I'm not sure if there's a way for a person.
1:19:58
Toliy: Um, I'm not sure if there's a way for a person.
1:20:01
Toliy: To exhaust their wrong perceptions.
1:20:04
Toliy: No.
1:20:05
Toliy: Okay.
1:20:05
Toliy: To go about this in a different way.
1:20:10
Toliy: No, to prevent bad influence, but accept good influence.
1:20:18
Toliy: I don't think that there's a person that anyone is capable of doing that in that kind of way.
1:20:28
Toliy: I think the only thing that you can do.
1:20:31
Toliy: It's either all it it's either, um, all influence or no influence almost all or nothing.
1:20:40
Toliy: Yeah Yeah, but not not not not in that kind of way And the way i'm saying is that like it's not about let it like it's not about preventing bad influence and letting in good influence Because I think that with ego with with everything else there isn't there There's no way to just have this amazing filter in place, right?
1:20:59
Toliy: We're just gonna be able to acknowledge good influence and be able to acknowledge bad influence and be able to choose between the two The only thing that you actually can do Yeah is to work towards being in a position to actually think and when you work toward like When you work towards a position where you can actually think then there there's no good or bad influence.
1:21:21
Toliy: There's just influence And then your brain needs to be the filter of knowing of like, okay, this sounds potentially good, like something that could potentially help me.
1:21:31
Toliy: I'm going to give it a go.
1:21:32
Toliy: I'm going to listen.
1:21:34
Toliy: This sounds like absolute snake oil, right?
1:21:37
Toliy: I'm still going to listen to it, to it, right?
1:21:41
Toliy: Like it to me at the end of the day good influence and bad influence.
1:21:45
Toliy: They're both a challenge, right?
1:21:47
Toliy: Yeah, if someone is influencing him in a bad way or telling him shit that it's like bullshit That's that person's challenge that that's that person saying it's too expensive, right?
1:21:59
Harris: Mm
1:21:59
Toliy: hmm, and then they need to challenge that back by using their mind Or someone may have a good actual point, right?
1:22:06
Toliy: Something that makes actual sense saying, Hey, Hey, I'm just, um, um, I'm a real estate agent.
1:22:11
Toliy: I just started two weeks ago.
1:22:14
Toliy: I have no money.
1:22:16
Toliy: There's no way I can commit to a subscription or there's no way that I could spend 500 a month.
1:22:21
Toliy: For example, they may have a good point.
1:22:23
Toliy: That may just be the reality, for example, right?
1:22:26
Toliy: Both of them could be the same objection, but it's, it's on the individuals.
1:22:31
Toliy: Like it's, it's the individual's job to, to be able to put themselves in a position to use their mind so that there there's no good or bad influence there.
1:22:41
Toliy: There's just influence.
1:22:42
Toliy: There's just people's thoughts and actions and like words, and they have to be able to filter them.
1:22:47
Harris: Mm hmm,
1:22:49
Toliy: but there's no way to do this thing where it's like, yo, don't listen to those people but listen to these people No chance.
1:22:54
Toliy: I agree with that.
1:22:55
Toliy: I agree.
1:22:55
Toliy: No chance.
1:22:56
Harris: Oh
1:22:58
Eldar: You're fucked.
1:23:00
Harris: Thank you
1:23:03
Eldar: Well, you're right about
1:23:04
Toliy: that.
1:23:05
Toliy: Yeah thinking is thinking that advice is give given forever.
1:23:09
Toliy: Don't listen to the bad people.
1:23:10
Toliy: Listen to the good people Yeah, right.
1:23:12
Eldar: We're not saying that right when he says like, oh, I'm not going back there to Nebraska or whatever Like I'm not saying that would know
1:23:16
Toliy: no, no, but I'm saying is that like This is like textbook advice, right?
1:23:21
Toliy: Just in general for like, for like generations and generations.
1:23:25
Toliy: Keep that out.
1:23:26
Toliy: Let good in.
1:23:27
Toliy: Are you kidding me?
1:23:28
Toliy: Yeah.
1:23:29
Eldar: Yeah.
1:23:29
Eldar: Everybody's always saying, right?
1:23:30
Eldar: Like, I don't need that energy in my life.
1:23:32
Eldar: You know what I mean?
1:23:33
Eldar: Banning everyone.
1:23:34
Eldar: Yeah.
1:23:35
Eldar: I'm
1:23:35
Toliy: not listening to you.
1:23:36
Toliy: You're not supportive of me.
1:23:37
Toliy: Yeah.
1:23:39
Toliy: Are you stupid?
1:23:41
Toliy: You're telling me that you as an individual have the ability to Like you're gonna get this awesome tool like a like, um tool to be able to filter out good and bad constantly Yeah, how is it gonna do it?
1:23:58
Toliy: No fucking chance.
1:24:00
Harris: I think
1:24:00
Toliy: the only thing that you have Maybe a shot to do is to, um, create a pause in between so you can think, yeah, put yourself in a position where you have a mind that you can actually use that could critically think in a particular way for you yourself to be able to properly interpret what's going on.
1:24:22
Toliy: That's your only chance.
1:24:24
Eldar: Yeah, I agree
1:24:26
Toliy: with that.
1:24:27
Eldar: That's well said.
1:24:31
Eldar: You don't have nothing?
1:24:32
Eldar: What, we doing final thoughts?
1:24:34
Eldar: Well, I don't know if you have anything else, but I, I agree with his assessment, he's right about that.
1:24:38
Mike: Mm hmm.
1:24:39
Mike: Harris, what was the original question?
1:24:43
Harris: How do we Why do we let people get into our heads?
1:24:45
Mike: Why do we let people get into our heads?
1:24:48
Mike: Well, because
1:24:48
Toliy: we don't have our own.
1:24:49
Toliy: Yes.
1:24:50
Toliy: No.
1:24:50
Toliy: That's exactly why.
1:24:52
Toliy: That's exactly what I'm saying is that you need to put yourself in a position where you have your own head There's no letting anyone in or out or or stuff like that.
1:25:01
Toliy: Yeah, it's just you having an ability to interpret in Information with your own head so you could choose what becomes a part of you and what doesn't
1:25:09
Eldar: yeah
1:25:09
Harris: Mm
1:25:10
Eldar: hmm and the moments when you do realize that you don't have a head Right, you hope that you have some friends right that can act as a sheltering tree.
1:25:17
Harris: Yeah
1:25:19
Eldar: You know what I mean?
1:25:20
Eldar: For the time being, for the moment being, right?
1:25:22
Eldar: Or you could be in a good relationship, where that person could be a rock for the moment, right?
1:25:26
Eldar: When you lost your head, you know what I mean?
1:25:28
Eldar: But ultimately, yeah, totally 100 percent correct about this.
1:25:33
Eldar: But yeah, you, I mean, the ultimate goal is to be able to have your own head, and be able to pause and think, use it, and see and evaluate for yourself.
1:25:41
Eldar: Who's saying something right, who's saying something wrong.
1:25:43
Toliy: Yeah, I, I, I think the main thing that good friends can do is they can Um, help you understand whether you have a head or not in these different things moments, right?
1:25:53
Harris: Mm hmm,
1:25:54
Toliy: and I think that that like you'll always be able to like it like you'll always be able to To see what's going on one way or another whether you need friends for a sheltering tree in this moment or whether you have you got?
1:26:09
Toliy: This right?
1:26:10
Toliy: Or whether you're in a complete like a rejection mode of everything, right?
1:26:15
Toliy: Okay.
1:26:16
Toliy: And then you, and then you prove that you need to go get humbled.
1:26:18
Toliy: Okay.
1:26:19
Toliy: I birthed another question from all this.
1:26:24
Eldar: Let's just say this.
1:26:25
Eldar: All right.
1:26:26
Eldar: Hey, uh, when we asked Harris for the testimony, right?
1:26:29
Eldar: To say, okay, cool.
1:26:30
Eldar: Harris, like do, do a quick evaluation here.
1:26:32
Eldar: Who cares for you?
1:26:33
Eldar: Who doesn't?
1:26:33
Eldar: Right.
1:26:34
Eldar: He clearly makes the right choice.
1:26:36
Eldar: Right.
1:26:37
Eldar: Even with at least his words for that moment.
1:26:40
Eldar: Right.
1:26:41
Eldar: So how important is it to be able to communicate?
1:26:46
Eldar: That which is being transpired right effectively communicate right that what you're experiencing for example, right in Harris's case, right?
1:26:55
Eldar: He's like he can say all the stuff about I love my dad.
1:26:58
Eldar: I love my family and all this other fucking crap, right?
1:27:00
Eldar: He can say all that stuff.
1:27:02
Eldar: Yeah, right Check this out, the paradox of it, right?
1:27:05
Eldar: He can communicate it, quote unquote, in the very simple terms, right?
1:27:10
Eldar: But the truth of the matter is, it's completely the opposite, right?
1:27:14
Eldar: If he avoids those interactions, he overshares and gets hit in the head all the time, right?
1:27:20
Eldar: But he doesn't admit to it.
1:27:22
Eldar: He says that he loves them or whatever, you know, but then on the other hand, he has a place where he comes here for work.
1:27:29
Eldar: And over time he starts accumulating good experiences.
1:27:33
Eldar: He can't necessarily, right?
1:27:36
Eldar: Convey the communicate this side of the story.
1:27:39
Eldar: To that side of the story, he might be able to do it here and say, Hey guys, you know, I really like it here, yada, yada, yada.
1:27:44
Eldar: He has his reasons and he's comfortable and he's open.
1:27:47
Eldar: But the two can interact with one another, even though the truth of the truth is in the pudding, right?
1:27:51
Eldar: He's like, guys, I don't like to come home because my ass gets ripped apart every time I go over there.
1:27:56
Eldar: But I come here and I enjoy myself.
1:27:59
Eldar: So his soul, let's just say, or his being has the ability to interpret what's good and what's not.
1:28:06
Eldar: Oh, what's what feels good and what doesn't, but he yet is not able to communicate this.
1:28:13
Eldar: Uh, Like an inter world, like back and forth from one world to another.
1:28:20
Eldar: How important is it to be able to communicate that one day so you can fucking bridge the gap between realities?
1:28:26
Eldar: Well,
1:28:26
Mike: I think it's um, part of it is communicating it, but it's also you have to understand it as well.
1:28:35
Eldar: What the thing is, what I'm saying, my challenge is that his being understands, he understands pain and pleasure, okay?
1:28:41
Eldar: One causes him pain, the other causes him pleasure.
1:28:44
Eldar: He does not have the ability yet to explain why, in very elaborate terms, for one or the other side to understand each other.
1:28:51
Eldar: You know what I'm saying?
1:28:51
Toliy: I agree with what Mike is saying there is that, um, I think Everyone has the ability to feel particular feelings, right?
1:29:00
Toliy: Yes.
1:29:01
Toliy: And they're very, uh, caveman like, like, uh Yes.
1:29:05
Toliy: Abilities, like, oh, this feels good, right?
1:29:07
Toliy: Yeah, very primitive, right?
1:29:09
Toliy: This feels good, this feels bad.
1:29:11
Toliy: But, um, but That same person does not know why.
1:29:17
Toliy: Yeah.
1:29:17
Toliy: The thing is, and because he doesn't know why.
1:29:19
Toliy: Well, that's why I'm saying that he can't explain it in that kind of
1:29:22
Eldar: way.
1:29:23
Eldar: He No, no, no, no.
1:29:24
Eldar: My challenge is that Uhhuh, he knows why in the moments of whenever he's in those moments, no, but he can't explain them.
1:29:30
Eldar: No, he can't explain them to
1:29:32
Toliy: different world.
1:29:32
Toliy: No, he can't explain them even to us.
1:29:36
Mike: That's fucked up.
1:29:39
Harris: No,
1:29:40
Mike: I, I, I mean, I think he can explain it like with certain words.
1:29:45
Mike: But if you start questioning him, he really might not know
1:29:48
Toliy: the lessons that are being like, uh, like the, the, the good lessons or the good things are like.
1:29:54
Toliy: Um, particular things.
1:29:56
Toliy: I don't think that they can be that the person, even when feeling good, can explain them as to what's happening right right now.
1:30:02
Toliy: Sure.
1:30:03
Toliy: You might not communicate them properly.
1:30:04
Toliy: Sure.
1:30:05
Toliy: But he can like, no, I think, I think
1:30:07
Mike: he can communicate them, but I think it's, uh, not elaborately.
1:30:11
Toliy: No, no, he can.
1:30:12
Toliy: He can.
1:30:13
Toliy: But, um, yeah, I, I, I think, no, I think that the person could identify that, like, That like X feels good, right?
1:30:20
Toliy: Or Y feels good, but I don't think that they can actually tell you as to why that right?
1:30:24
Toliy: Like they might say like, Hey, like for example, right?
1:30:27
Toliy: Let me just give you an example, right?
1:30:31
Toliy: Um, a moment at that time, that person is feeling good.
1:30:33
Toliy: Right.
1:30:34
Toliy: And they might say that like, yeah, I'm feeling good.
1:30:37
Toliy: Um, because like, let's say I closed X amount of deals and, um, I may get a little bit more money or something, for example.
1:30:46
Toliy: Yeah.
1:30:46
Toliy: Right.
1:30:47
Toliy: But the actual lesson of what's happening or what's actually happening, that's making you feel good.
1:30:52
Toliy: Is that no, what you're actually experiencing is like acceptance and growth and different things like that.
1:30:57
Toliy: No way the person can say like No, no, no, no, no.
1:31:01
Eldar: He's saying a very specific thing.
1:31:02
Eldar: What's happening is that there's Okay, so the person does not know Uh, the correlation does not mean causation.
1:31:09
Eldar: Yeah.
1:31:10
Eldar: That's what, that's what he's saying, just because this correlates and you feel like this is what's causing what you're feeling, this does not actually mean that that transpires as to what reality really is, right?
1:31:22
Eldar: He does not know this relationship between that correlation does not mean causation when you start seeing causes that, you know, have effects and effects of causes like that, those two are married and you're able to see him properly.
1:31:34
Eldar: You probably be able to communicate them in accordance to that.
1:31:40
Eldar: Okay.
1:31:41
Toliy: Yeah, I can, I can, like, for example, I, like, I, I can, um, like, I can communicate, for example, like, um, let's just say that, like, um, some of the things I like either, like, let's just say that, like, elder has done for me or, or, or, or helps me with or things that I'm appreciative of.
1:32:03
Toliy: Right.
1:32:04
Toliy: Or like, yeah, like ways that I've benefited, right.
1:32:08
Toliy: In very particular ways as to like, what is actually like, what has actually transpired in the transformation of my life, right?
1:32:15
Toliy: Like I, I can communicate that in a very.
1:32:18
Toliy: Particular way,
1:32:19
Harris: right?
1:32:20
Toliy: Where someone else that may have been impacted or here for, for example, a particular time, they're going to list completely different things that they think are, is like what's actually happening versus like, like they actually got those, those, those things that they can't explain.
1:32:36
Toliy: That's what I'm trying to I
1:32:37
Mike: think maybe
1:32:38
Eldar: like maybe that's part of it, but that's that's the problem of correlation does not mean causation Mmm, yeah, but they're not we're writing the proper things with the proper, you know, there's no proper
1:32:47
Mike: causality Maybe but the way I think about it He's had moments where he said something things that really made sense Right?
1:32:56
Mike: Yeah.
1:32:56
Mike: Everybody did.
1:32:57
Mike: Everybody did.
1:32:58
Mike: Were you saying that's by accident?
1:33:00
Eldar: No, I, I just, my problem is that, again, my problem is with causality.
1:33:04
Eldar: Yeah.
1:33:04
Eldar: Could cause what?
1:33:05
Mike: Yeah.
1:33:05
Mike: The thing is, yeah.
1:33:07
Mike: I, and I agree.
1:33:07
Mike: What you're gonna say is that he didn't actually say it.
1:33:10
Mike: We were able to bring him and out and let him say it, but he doesn't understand it.
1:33:14
Mike: But yeah,
1:33:15
Toliy: like, it, it, it, it would be more of like what would make him happier.
1:33:18
Toliy: Right.
1:33:19
Toliy: For example, like in, in the moment now.
1:33:21
Toliy: Mm-hmm . Um, right now doubling his salary.
1:33:24
Harris: Mm-hmm . Right.
1:33:26
Toliy: Or all the other less or, or the other lessons that have happened, for example, along the way that you're like that, like, you may, you may are touching right now, but you're not like, you're not those things yet, so you can't benefit from them consciously in those kinds of ways, right?
1:33:41
Eldar: That's why Tony always asked the question, right?
1:33:43
Eldar: Hey, Harris.
1:33:44
Eldar: You win a hundred million, you coming back tomorrow?
1:33:51
Mike: Mm-hmm.
1:33:52
Mike: You know, he doesn't have a good explanation, man, but I think with the explanation, why
1:33:56
Harris: would I stop something I enjoy, man.
1:33:58
Mike: What do you enjoy about this?
1:33:59
Mike: Like, uh, yeah, I enjoy being here.
1:34:01
Mike: What specifically?
1:34:02
Mike: Like why?
1:34:03
Harris: Maybe I'll even put the money into the letter front.
1:34:05
Harris: Oh shit.
1:34:06
Harris: Oh shit.
1:34:07
Harris: So what do you enjoy about like, uh, I enjoy being here, you know, atmosphere, working here, shooting shit with the guys.
1:34:17
Harris: Mm-hmm . Mm-hmm . Being around, uh.
1:34:21
Mike: Yeah, the thing is, um, it's, it's maybe, maybe we're saying the same thing, but it's the currency.
1:34:30
Mike: The currency that's negotiated there is different than the currency that he's negotiating here.
1:34:35
Mike: And it's different than the currency that he's actually being paid in.
1:34:38
Mike: Well, we all three have different currency.
1:34:40
Mike: Me and you and totally have one currency that we engage with him.
1:34:44
Mike: Then there's a currency that he thinks that he receives from us.
1:34:46
Mike: Yeah.
1:34:47
Mike: And then there's a currency that him and his dad exchange.
1:34:49
Mike: Yeah.
1:34:49
Mike: Right.
1:34:49
Mike: Well, currency being information, conversations, the reason why he can't, because, um, he doesn't know what currency is receiving.
1:35:00
Mike: Well, well, not at all.
1:35:01
Mike: Not at all times.
1:35:02
Toliy: Yeah.
1:35:02
Toliy: Well, well, yeah, yeah, that same thing.
1:35:04
Toliy: That's the point, right?
1:35:06
Toliy: When I when I talk about the pay being incentive base, that's it.
1:35:10
Harris: Mm hmm.
1:35:11
Toliy: Yeah, everything else is gone.
1:35:13
Harris: Mm hmm
1:35:16
Toliy: Right.
1:35:16
Toliy: Yeah, everything else is gone.
1:35:18
Mike: Yeah,
1:35:19
Toliy: but you're doing uh, You're doing like advanced calculus on the kid.
1:35:22
Toliy: No, no, but that that like Like those kinds of things bring out how you feel.
1:35:27
Toliy: Yeah, but,
1:35:28
Eldar: but what about the chance for like a little bit of independent thinking and independent thinking is the independent thinking for them.
1:35:33
Eldar: Yeah, the
1:35:34
Mike: thinking without life's a pyramid of needs.
1:35:38
Mike: What about Maslow's Maslow's pyramids?
1:35:40
Mike: What about it?
1:35:41
Mike: My son doesn't have food or shelter in his head.
1:35:44
Mike: That's that's the thing.
1:35:45
Mike: That's not real.
1:35:46
Mike: Well, it's not real.
1:35:47
Mike: No, no, no.
1:35:47
Mike: But in a person's head, is it real?
1:35:49
Toliy: No, no.
1:35:49
Toliy: But, but like, why it's not real, Mike, is because, uh, people prove at all types of pay that they're in the bottom of, they don't have food or shelter, even millionaires.
1:36:01
Harris: That's
1:36:01
Toliy: right.
1:36:03
Toliy: Right.
1:36:04
Toliy: Because
1:36:04
Eldar: to
1:36:04
Toliy: them, they always want more and they're always poor.
1:36:06
Toliy: I think
1:36:06
Eldar: Maslow defined his, uh, pyramid of needs.
1:36:12
Eldar: Mazel higher care of needs literally.
1:36:15
Toliy: Yeah.
1:36:16
Toliy: Yeah.
1:36:16
Toliy: If everybody was, if you were actually honest, like, and in alignment with truth on those things, okay.
1:36:22
Toliy: But even the people who the most amount of money have the most amount of money, but they're also have no shelter
1:36:30
Eldar: doesn't doesn't matter who cares about that or what he feels.
1:36:34
Eldar: What is the facts?
1:36:36
Mike: Yeah,
1:36:36
Eldar: but we see the facts though.
1:36:37
Eldar: We understand the facts.
1:36:38
Eldar: He doesn't.
1:36:39
Eldar: Well, then you can't you can't subject them to a hierarchy of needs.
1:36:45
Toliy: You can't subject them to a factual list on opinion based like takes how.
1:36:50
Toliy: How do you, how do
1:36:51
Mike: you insert him then?
1:36:51
Mike: Because he's not.
1:36:52
Mike: Where do you insert him?
1:36:53
Mike: Because he's, he's not, he's not dumb, dumb enough to understand.
1:36:56
Mike: Okay, so then
1:36:56
Eldar: explain to me his scale of hierarchy of needs.
1:36:58
Eldar: What kind of house?
1:36:59
Eldar: Go.
1:37:00
Mike: Well, he wants a house that probably he doesn't have the peace.
1:37:03
Mike: What kind of food?
1:37:04
Eldar: What kind
1:37:04
Mike: of
1:37:04
Eldar: shelter?
1:37:04
Mike: Right.
1:37:05
Mike: What kind,
1:37:05
Eldar: what kind of stuff?
1:37:06
Mike: He would like to have a house where he has peace, where he's not like, uh, bombarded.
1:37:09
Mike: Yeah.
1:37:09
Mike: Which he thinks about his dad constantly coming home every time, having to like.
1:37:13
Mike: Sure.
1:37:13
Mike: Harass him.
1:37:14
Mike: Sure.
1:37:14
Mike: For now.
1:37:15
Mike: For now.
1:37:16
Mike: If he gets a bad neighbor, what happens
1:37:17
Eldar: then, right?
1:37:18
Harris: We do what Tully does, man.
1:37:20
Eldar: These are very like.
1:37:21
Eldar: Ambiguous like open ended, you know, uh, factors that are constantly can change and the person can say, yeah, my, my basic needs are not met.
1:37:31
Eldar: Therefore, I can level up to have good friends, you know, and I don't have, you know, and you keep going and going and going.
1:37:39
Harris: We do what we're doing with all these neighbors, man.
1:37:41
Harris: You gotta pack your shit, man.
1:37:43
Harris: You gotta get the fuck out of here.
1:37:45
Eldar: So, so the question is the right the how important it is to be able to communicate this shit Because like on the maybe on the on the level of like just the very basic pain and pleasure level he gets it All right, if you reflect if you don't like the
1:37:57
Toliy: occasion of it is is everything because the communication of it And the proving of it is like, the, what they always taught you in school is like, you could have the right answer if you don't show your work, right, it doesn't
1:38:09
Eldar: count.
1:38:09
Eldar: Wait a second, wait a second.
1:38:11
Mike: So it's not the communication.
1:38:13
Eldar: Is that why the Buddhists take, uh, fucking silent retreats?
1:38:16
Harris: What the hell, man?
1:38:17
Harris: Welcome back to Buddhism, man.
1:38:20
Mike: Well, what did I tell Dennis, remember, a long time ago?
1:38:22
Mike: Yeah, about one year or so.
1:38:24
Mike: One year silent retreat.
1:38:25
Mike: Right.
1:38:26
Mike: Because you don't, if
1:38:27
Eldar: you don't value your words, you're going to pay for it.
1:38:29
Eldar: Yeah, and therefore you might as well just keep quiet because you don't know how to speak yet.
1:38:35
Mike: Here, Harris, I think it's right here behind you.
1:38:36
Mike: Yeah, nice.
1:38:40
Eldar: I've never seen anybody do this before.
1:38:43
Harris: Oh,
1:38:43
Eldar: you love him so much.
1:38:44
Eldar: Oh, you're copying his behavior from someone, maybe your guru.
1:38:50
Eldar: Hmm?
1:38:51
Eldar: Is that, is that the premise?
1:38:53
Eldar: The Buddhists do these silent retreats or meditate, right?
1:38:56
Eldar: Keep their mouth shut because of the fact that they understand.
1:38:59
Eldar: They have nothing good to say.
1:39:01
Eldar: Well, the
1:39:01
Mike: thing is, are you, you guys think it's the right speech?
1:39:04
Mike: It's not the right thought?
1:39:05
Mike: There, there is no, there is no right speech without right thought.
1:39:08
Mike: Correct.
1:39:09
Mike: Sure.
1:39:10
Mike: But, but like though, just the way you said it.
1:39:12
Mike: So, um, so it is the right thought.
1:39:16
Mike: So how do you get the right thought?
1:39:17
Mike: How do you, how does somebody, well, you have to deduce it.
1:39:19
Mike: That's the thing.
1:39:19
Mike: How does, how does somebody understand what's actually being done here?
1:39:22
Mike: Well, that's the thing.
1:39:22
Mike: You have to be able to deduce it, communicate it.
1:39:24
Mike: Yeah.
1:39:24
Mike: You have to deduce it.
1:39:25
Mike: No, I know that he ha if he, if he has to communicate it to his dad.
1:39:29
Mike: Yeah.
1:39:29
Mike: Right.
1:39:29
Mike: But how does he understand it if he doesn't understand what's happening here?
1:39:31
Mike: Well, he has to
1:39:32
Toliy: first
1:39:32
Mike: be able to de
1:39:33
Toliy: to communicate it himself.
1:39:34
Toliy: With himself.
1:39:34
Toliy: Himself.
1:39:34
Toliy: Yeah.
1:39:34
Toliy: With himself.
1:39:35
Toliy: How does he communicate
1:39:36
Eldar: it to himself without doing that?
1:39:37
Eldar: Yeah, right now he's like, like a basic, right?
1:39:41
Eldar: He's a basic.
1:39:41
Eldar: But yeah, it's like pain, pleasure, pain, pleasure.
1:39:43
Eldar: Like, that makes sense.
1:39:44
Eldar: Like, but when we sit down and reflect, he can make a couple of sentences together.
1:39:48
Eldar: Right.
1:39:49
Eldar: Do it here for us, for the people who was not judging you for that.
1:39:52
Eldar: Right.
1:39:52
Eldar: He avoids to tell us certain things from that world.
1:39:55
Eldar: Yeah.
1:39:55
Eldar: And he avoids to tell that world what's happening here.
1:39:58
Eldar: Yeah, of course.
1:39:58
Eldar: That's a very specific point.
1:40:00
Eldar: That's a reason.
1:40:00
Eldar: Right.
1:40:01
Eldar: My question is whether or not the importance between the communication of the two worlds and how that is the enlightening almost step into.
1:40:12
Eldar: Probably a level of enlightenment then.
1:40:16
Eldar: It is,
1:40:16
Toliy: it's a conscious level of pleasure.
1:40:20
Toliy: Or, and comes with it a conscious level of pain, which I always said is the greatest thing in the world.
1:40:28
Toliy: Because you consciously, if you can consciously understand the things that make you feel good, And consciously understand the things that make you feel bad, you have the opportunity to have a choice.
1:40:37
Toliy: Yes.
1:40:37
Toliy: And when you have the opportunity to be choice, you have figured it out.
1:40:41
Toliy: That's it.
1:40:42
Toliy: That is very interesting.
1:40:43
Toliy: Well, yeah, well,
1:40:44
Eldar: that's, that's, that's it.
1:40:45
Eldar: Yeah.
1:40:45
Eldar: That didn't create your own reality, right?
1:40:47
Eldar: Yeah.
1:40:47
Eldar: Of what it is.
1:40:48
Eldar: Yeah, just, yeah.
1:40:49
Eldar: There you go.
1:40:49
Eldar: You're a slave, dude.
1:40:50
Eldar: Yeah.
1:40:51
Eldar: You're done.
1:40:51
Eldar: Yeah.
1:40:51
Toliy: We, we, we always spoke about, you don't need to have everything figured out.
1:40:55
Toliy: Yeah.
1:40:55
Toliy: You just need to understand that you just need to actually have like a belief with supporting evidence for yourself that there's a way.
1:41:02
Toliy: Yes.
1:41:02
Toliy: To do this.
1:41:03
Toliy: Yeah.
1:41:03
Toliy: Right.
1:41:04
Toliy: And if you have that kind of mixture within yourself, you will have like an unrelenting lifelong journey of figuring it out, you know?
1:41:13
Toliy: And if you can give yourself that opportunity to consciously understand that, that's it.
1:41:17
Toliy: It's over.
1:41:19
Eldar: It's
1:41:19
Toliy: over.
1:41:22
Eldar: Sales.
1:41:24
Eldar: You could tell you that is the best thing that ever happened to me.
1:41:34
Eldar: Just say, uh, I just wanted to say that and I have no explanation.
1:41:38
Eldar: Otherwise.
1:41:43
Eldar: Yeah,
1:41:44
Harris: I plead the fifth.
1:41:45
Harris: Now you have a good day, sir.
1:41:47
Eldar: That's right.
1:41:48
Eldar: I have no more no other remarks.
1:41:49
Eldar: Just say that this is it and then one day when he goes Why do you say that why you keep saying that do you really want to know and then make him convince you of it?
1:42:00
Eldar: What the fuck does he look like Nate?
1:42:06
Harris: Come on, bro.
1:42:07
Harris: Every time we do a podcast, it's gotta be Nate bro.
1:42:10
Harris: I can't fucking unsee it Why can't it just be Harris?
1:42:12
Harris: It's gotta be Nate.
1:42:16
Mike: Fuck man.
1:42:17
Mike: You're the reincarnation.
1:42:18
Mike: That's why Yeah, you picked up where he left off.
1:42:22
Mike: No.
1:42:24
Mike: . No,
1:42:24
Eldar: no, no, no.
1:42:27
Eldar: He's picking up where Nate dropped.
1:42:30
Eldar: He dropped the shit.
1:42:31
Eldar: Dropped the shit.
1:42:32
Eldar: Well, that, that's what I just said.
1:42:33
Eldar: No, no, not where.
1:42:35
Eldar: Yeah.
1:42:35
Eldar: No way before us.
1:42:39
Eldar: We picking up very early.
1:42:41
Eldar: Oh, early, okay.
1:42:41
Eldar: In comparison.
1:42:42
Mike: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:42:44
Mike: Okay.
1:42:44
Mike: I understand you understand this.
1:42:45
Mike: Yeah.
1:42:46
Mike: When the knee was like six, think about it.
1:42:48
Mike: Mm-hmm.
1:42:48
Mike: Eldar: What is wrong with you, man?
1:42:49
Mike: Oh, you look six old.
1:42:50
Mike: Think about old.
1:42:50
Mike: Think about the dilemma.
1:42:52
Mike: Oh, fuck you.
1:42:53
Mike: Think about the dilemma was, it's very simple, right?
1:42:55
Mike: Yeah.
1:42:55
Mike: You don't got no money.
1:42:56
Harris: Yeah.
1:42:57
Eldar: He had money.
1:42:58
Eldar: Yeah.
1:42:59
Eldar: And the, and the money was the kicker.
1:43:01
Harris: Mm-hmm.
1:43:03
Harris: Eldar: What got need before he got paid.
1:43:05
Harris: Yeah, yeah, and that's a big kicker.
1:43:08
Harris: What the fuck did he do?
1:43:12
Harris: What the fuck did he do for a little bit?
1:43:13
Harris: He sold out.
1:43:15
Harris: What do you mean?
1:43:16
Harris: She sold out for money.
1:43:17
Harris: What the fuck did he do?
1:43:18
Harris: She sold out for money.
1:43:20
Harris: I get it, but what did he do to get the money?
1:43:24
Harris: He sold out.
1:43:25
Harris: She was in sales.
1:43:26
Harris: He was doing sales too, yeah.
1:43:28
Harris: Obviously not sales, we do.
1:43:29
Harris: No,
1:43:30
Mike: he was doing weird stuff.
1:43:31
Mike: Weird stuff.
1:43:32
Mike: Selling his soul.
1:43:33
Mike: Yeah.
1:43:34
Harris: Oh, he was the, uh, no soul salesman?
1:43:36
Mike: Mm hmm.
1:43:38
Harris: Dishonest?
1:43:39
Mike: No, I'm not sure if he would say that.
1:43:41
Mike: Yeah, I'm not sure.
1:43:42
Eldar: Maybe in his early days.
1:43:45
Eldar: Yeah.
1:43:48
Harris: That's interesting.
1:43:51
Harris: Damn, that's pretty interesting.
1:43:58
Eldar: It's crazy how that is.
1:44:00
Eldar: That's the funnest thing for me.
1:44:02
Eldar: And it's like a burden for him.
1:44:04
Harris: Yeah, it is, man.
1:44:05
Harris: Cause it's always like this, like that, man.
1:44:07
Harris: Cause you, you're the next piñata, dude.
1:44:10
Harris: Thanks
1:44:10
Mike: man, that makes me feel really good.
1:44:12
Mike: Yeah, he's also not like, uh, yeah, he also doesn't have the attention span, but he also, this is like maybe too complicated for him to stay focused and on top of that too.
1:44:23
Eldar: We're just trying to find the right language to piece it together to make sure that he gets it and then he can get it and get it, get it.
1:44:28
Eldar: Man,
1:44:29
Harris: didn't he take a seminar on how to speak to, what was
1:44:31
Mike: it?
1:44:31
Mike: Going forward, he has to bring the topics.
1:44:34
Mike: That he actually has a relation to that way.
1:44:36
Mike: He can have a more desire to listen in
1:44:39
Eldar: a lot of times.
1:44:39
Eldar: It's um, He just wants to relax, you know Because it's
1:44:43
Mike: too much all these hit the vape and scratches balls.
1:44:47
Mike: Are you dumb man?
1:44:48
Mike: Do you want a pizza delivery?
1:44:49
Mike: We'll get you one right now.
1:44:51
Mike: Yeah
1:44:52
Eldar: No, rightfully so.
1:44:53
Eldar: It's hard, bro.
1:44:53
Eldar: You know
1:44:54
Mike: what I
1:44:54
Eldar: mean?
1:44:54
Eldar: Like, yeah,
1:44:55
Mike: that's hard right now.
1:44:55
Mike: He just has to let the bosses chew his ass for a few years, probably.
1:44:59
Mike: I
1:45:00
Eldar: agree with you, though.
1:45:01
Eldar: I agree with you about the topics.
1:45:02
Eldar: You know what I mean?
1:45:03
Eldar: I think that in the early days, Tony was bringing a lot of the topics, right?
1:45:07
Eldar: And we've chewed that for a very long time,
1:45:10
Mike: you know, but he might not be ready to acknowledge topics that are actually happening in his life, too.
1:45:14
Mike: Should we take a break from doing the podcast?
1:45:16
Harris: No, man.
1:45:18
Mike: Oh, wow.
1:45:19
Mike: Why not?
1:45:20
Toliy: Now?
1:45:21
Toliy: Now, now how about this?
1:45:23
Toliy: Same scenario, but elder has a stack of twenties in his hand.
1:45:28
Toliy: No.
1:45:30
Toliy: Are you kidding me?
1:45:31
Toliy: No.
1:45:31
Toliy: Mm-hmm . It's gonna be fucking glued.
1:45:33
Toliy: How
1:45:33
Mike: about if you get paid a hundred nano not to come to the podcast?
1:45:36
Toliy: No.
1:45:40
Mike: Uh, why, why, why don't you make
1:45:42
Toliy: that, make that $200 cash.
1:45:45
Toliy: They do it therapy in order.
1:45:45
Toliy: Hundred percent.
1:45:46
Mike: See, look,
1:45:47
Toliy: he
1:45:47
Mike: acknowledges it.
1:45:48
Mike: And what's therapeutic about this?
1:45:51
Mike: I get to voice my,
1:45:52
Harris: well, my pent up, uh Your pent up aggression.
1:45:56
Harris: About certain things in my life.
1:45:57
Harris: Yeah, that's good.
1:45:58
Harris: My psychiatrist even asks, he goes, Are you in therapy?
1:46:01
Harris: Yeah, I'm in kind of, uh, you can call it therapy.
1:46:04
Harris: You're telling
1:46:04
Eldar: me it's better than therapy?
1:46:06
Harris: He goes, well, I recommend.
1:46:07
Harris: I was like, yeah, but this is like group therapy.
1:46:08
Eldar: Hey, did you tell him that it's better than therapy?
1:46:10
Eldar: No.
1:46:11
Eldar: Did you tell him that it's elderism?
1:46:12
Eldar: No.
1:46:13
Eldar: He wouldn't know what the fuck that is.
1:46:14
Eldar: Don't answer that.
1:46:15
Eldar: I've heard the answer already if I'm totally.
1:46:16
Eldar: He wouldn't know what the fuck that is.
1:46:18
Harris: What's elderim?
1:46:19
Harris: Oh, we're like a cult like atmosphere, you know?
1:46:21
Harris: Yes.
1:46:23
Mike: Yes.
1:46:24
Harris: Uh, right minded people, you know,
1:46:26
Mike: we've got to get him a little bell that he can ring when like he starts losing interest in the topic because he can't keep up and we've got to stop and pivot because he can't go that deep into the, like, Oh, come on, man,
1:46:39
Harris: show some respect over here.
1:46:40
Harris: And this is true.
1:46:41
Harris: I'm a president in 25 years, man.
1:46:43
Harris: I like it.
1:46:44
Harris: This is
1:46:46
Eldar: not going to be like easy for him.
1:46:48
Eldar: Obviously, you know, it's not, it's a process, but
1:46:51
Mike: maybe.
1:46:52
Mike: Uh, simple enough, more suffering, so then bring more awareness about pain, like conscious suffering.
1:47:00
Mike: Oh, that's, that's, that was inevitable.
1:47:02
Mike: Yeah.
1:47:03
Mike: Thanks.
1:47:04
Mike: Well, for as long as you want to, you chose this, not me.
1:47:09
Harris: I didn't choose it willingly.
1:47:11
Eldar: You didn't?
1:47:12
Eldar: You
1:47:12
Harris: didn't?
1:47:13
Harris: You, you, what happened?
1:47:14
Harris: It's just my tendencies, I guess.
1:47:16
Harris: Oh, okay.
1:47:18
Harris: No.
1:47:19
Harris: You're here for a reason, boi.
1:47:21
Harris: God brought us together.
1:47:23
Harris: Fuckin uh
1:47:24
Mike: No, it's not It's not us, God,
1:47:26
Harris: it's What's God?
1:47:29
Harris: We know who God was.
1:47:31
Harris: So was he.
1:47:33
Harris: God was really The myth, the legend.
1:47:39
Harris: Mm hmm.
1:47:41
Harris: What's his name, fuck?
1:47:43
Harris: Jesus?
1:47:44
Harris: No.
1:47:48
Mike: Stone Cold Steve Austin
1:47:51
Harris: What's his name?
1:47:59
Harris: You know who I'm talking about.
1:48:01
Harris: No, I don't.
1:48:08
Eldar: We'll get back to that, try to remember.
1:48:09
Eldar: So Mike, what are your final thoughts on this?
1:48:12
Eldar: On this?
1:48:12
Eldar: Yeah.
1:48:18
Mike: Yeah, like in order for you to not let people get in your head, you gotta know where your head is.
1:48:23
Eldar: Oh, if you have one.
1:48:26
Mike: Yeah, that's a requirement.
1:48:28
Mike: And to know where your head is, is not an easy task.
1:48:31
Eldar: Well, Yes, but when you're not friends with your head, and you don't like your head, you have to jump.
1:48:37
Eldar: Yeah, you have to jump ship from your head and go into somebody else's head.
1:48:40
Eldar: Like, oh shit, did I get it right?
1:48:42
Eldar: You know what I mean?
1:48:43
Eldar: D, look it out for me.
1:48:44
Eldar: You know, there's all this crap.
1:48:45
Eldar: Yeah, yeah, you know, and then you go, right?
1:48:48
Eldar: You take on their understanding, you play it out in real life, and you're like, oh shit! Mm hmm.
1:48:53
Eldar: What the fuck?
1:48:54
Eldar: What did I get into here?
1:48:56
Eldar: This is not working.
1:48:57
Eldar: This ain't me.
1:48:57
Eldar: Hey,
1:49:00
Toliy: yeah I I think what what gives um society as a whole like a chance like that gives everybody a chance Is that because everyone universally has like an internal magnet towards happiness?
1:49:14
Harris: Yeah,
1:49:15
Toliy: right Yeah, and because they have this magnet Um, whatever methods they think whatever that they have belief in that will work towards the getting them everybody in the world Everybody strives towards that.
1:49:28
Toliy: Right.
1:49:29
Toliy: Um, and because of that, everybody has a chance to, to get it right.
1:49:33
Toliy: Or to actually like understand what that means.
1:49:38
Toliy: So a
1:49:38
Mike: little positivity from Tomat no matter what,
1:49:40
Toliy: like what, what you're doing, you have a chance because everybody innately has this now, um, like, um, whether you have the ability to like have humility or have these other, or, or have like these good traits that require.
1:50:01
Toliy: That that that are required for you to actually learn how to live a good life That's up for debate, you know,
1:50:10
Mike: no, I think everybody has
1:50:11
Toliy: the traits, but it's just well everybody has the traits and tools to do it Well, I don't know if everybody has the I mean, maybe they might have the tools, but I don't think everybody has the Traits required, you know,
1:50:23
Mike: I'm not saying
1:50:24
Toliy: everybody's
1:50:24
Mike: gonna make it but
1:50:27
Toliy: Yeah, like it like if if you really have your own strong opinions, you have your own things like you think, you know,
1:50:33
Harris: you're
1:50:33
Toliy: never gonna get it
1:50:35
Harris: Yeah,
1:50:35
Toliy: I don't care what you do.
1:50:36
Toliy: You're not gonna get it.
1:50:37
Toliy: It's not gonna work.
1:50:39
Toliy: What whatever you think is gonna work It's not gonna work because you're going about it the wrong way to begin with.
1:50:46
Harris: Mm hmm,
1:50:48
Toliy: you know, they're trying to like Fertilize a, a, uh, uh, a tree with poison, like, you know, for it to grow into like a mighty, uh, nub, cedar, right?
1:51:05
Toliy: But they're like fertilizing it with poison, show me once, show me how that's ever going to work.
1:51:11
Harris: Yeah.
1:51:17
Eldar: All right, Mike, do you finish your thoughts totally final thoughts on, uh, on this and what we discovered and like, what do you have like on, on, uh, influence on influence?
1:51:34
Eldar: We talked about communication.
1:51:36
Eldar: Yeah, I got, I think I've got a lot to say about communication.
1:51:38
Eldar: That's yeah.
1:51:39
Toliy: Yeah.
1:51:39
Toliy: Yeah.
1:51:39
Toliy: No, I mean, like on, on, um, communication, I think that, um, yeah, like it's, it, it's a very hard, um, thing to just like for, for, for most people.
1:51:56
Toliy: To like stop and see what's happening, like what's actually happening or to understand that, you know, and I think, um, I'm not sure what you can do because like, it's like, it's a very like cliche or like, I don't know, a language thing for people to say like, Hey, slow down, slow down and see what's happening, actually understand that like, Be grateful for this or like, you know, consider that like that just like I'm not sure how practical that actually is Yeah, yeah, it's like a crazy thing.
1:52:33
Toliy: Like every time I think about all these different things It's like there's actually no advice in any scenario for anyone to actually do anything like that's how I actually feel because it's like you could give someone any kind of advice to do this or like Hey that and like The way I feel internally is I like, it's not going to work.
1:52:55
Toliy: You're not going to slow down and like, come on, like, be grateful.
1:52:59
Toliy: Are you kidding me?
1:52:59
Toliy: Come on.
1:53:00
Eldar: Right.
1:53:00
Eldar: No, that's not fair because sure, even though maybe we don't get the causality correct, right, by saying the wrong advice at the wrong time or teaching when we're not asked and stuff like that.
1:53:10
Eldar: Right.
1:53:10
Eldar: Or not seeing what the student actually needs in that moment.
1:53:13
Eldar: And we're giving them advice based on that versus digging deeper.
1:53:16
Eldar: Right.
1:53:16
Eldar: I get all that stuff.
1:53:18
Eldar: But I think that what we, at least what I deduce is that proper communication is probably the key, right?
1:53:24
Eldar: Starting from understanding causality.
1:53:28
Eldar: And if you understand causality between the two things.
1:53:31
Eldar: But you're never going to understand causality.
1:53:34
Eldar: No, if you do, right, then you kind of have the ability to try to communicate it
1:53:38
Toliy: as best you could.
1:53:39
Toliy: Yeah.
1:53:39
Toliy: But that, that's also like saying that, like, if you do understand that, you're not going to have that problem probably to begin with.
1:53:46
Toliy: Well,
1:53:46
Eldar: communicating it.
1:53:47
Eldar: You
1:53:47
Toliy: still
1:53:48
Eldar: might have a problem communicating it.
1:53:49
Eldar: Yeah.
1:53:49
Eldar: You still have to, I think, learn how to communicate that.
1:53:52
Eldar: Even though you actually understand the causality to things, if you understand something there, I think you still have to be able to explain it.
1:54:02
Eldar: So a lot of people say, yeah, I feel it.
1:54:04
Eldar: Well, that's what I'm saying though.
1:54:05
Eldar: If you understand from
1:54:06
Toliy: it, but I, like, I can't give it to you.
1:54:09
Toliy: Yeah.
1:54:09
Toliy: But then that, that's not understanding it for yourself, for yourself.
1:54:14
Toliy: That's not understanding it.
1:54:15
Toliy: If you feel good from it, understanding it as you being able.
1:54:19
Toliy: Like if you can link the two things together, then I think you by default can, um, communicate them, which is why, um, we're saying before that, if you have right, right, right thought, you'll have right speech.
1:54:33
Toliy: Yeah, but nonetheless, you might benefit without knowing how to give it, give it to someone.
1:54:37
Toliy: You could benefit from having good feelings.
1:54:39
Toliy: Yeah.
1:54:40
Toliy: But if you can't, if you can't put them together.
1:54:44
Toliy: If you can't communicate them like that, that's what I'm saying, that I'm saying that at
1:54:48
Eldar: the end of the day, the next step, right, the next step is to be able to communicate.
1:54:51
Mike: Well, yeah, I think, I think, uh, you may not be able to do it in that moment, but who are we, or who are you to say like, hey, Well, there's no hope.
1:55:02
Mike: So like, it's kind of like, fuck it.
1:55:04
Mike: Like change takes time.
1:55:06
Mike: And I think we've spoken about as many times, it might not be this lifetime.
1:55:10
Mike: That is the one that actually you're going to crack it and you're going to figure it out.
1:55:13
Mike: But you can figure out moment by moment.
1:55:16
Mike: And I think that's what life is.
1:55:17
Mike: It's.
1:55:18
Eldar: Yes,
1:55:18
Mike: one by moment, one day you get a glimpse of happiness
1:55:21
Eldar: and
1:55:21
Mike: that's, that's already something
1:55:23
Eldar: and I have plenty of testimonies with my mom, for example, right?
1:55:25
Eldar: If we get on the, she's in the ignorant plane and I'm not right.
1:55:28
Eldar: And if I able to communicate the reality and the causality of the situation and explain anything thoroughly.
1:55:34
Eldar: I see that my mom gets on the same page, she calms down and relaxes for that moment.
1:55:38
Eldar: Yeah.
1:55:38
Eldar: This doesn't mean that this moment will prolong forever.
1:55:40
Mike: No.
1:55:41
Eldar: But it does for that moment.
1:55:42
Eldar: But I don't
1:55:42
Mike: think it's, I don't think anything exists outside that moment.
1:55:44
Mike: Exactly.
1:55:45
Mike: That moment is just a moment.
1:55:46
Mike: Correct.
1:55:47
Mike: And that's it.
1:55:47
Mike: Up until we
1:55:47
Eldar: go to the next one.
1:55:48
Mike: Until the next moment, yeah, like.
1:55:50
Mike: You know, like, uh, my dad's situation, right?
1:55:53
Mike: It's like a very long process has been going on for, you know, with the business for many years.
1:55:58
Mike: There's very slow, slow progress, but I don't feel like it's not worth it.
1:56:03
Mike: But I, because I do think there's a potential that something might change.
1:56:07
Mike: Will it take 10, 20 years?
1:56:09
Mike: It's possible.
1:56:10
Mike: Take 30 possible may, well, maybe not happen in this lifetime.
1:56:14
Mike: It's possible, but it doesn't seem like a cause not to, uh, To take a stance like, yo, I don't think it's going to, well, especially
1:56:23
Eldar: if the stance requires you to try to try to, uh, be involved in the person's life for some reason, like if they're asking you questions, for example, if they're constantly coming into your life, you almost like you need to have a communication somehow.
1:56:35
Eldar: Right.
1:56:35
Eldar: Yeah.
1:56:36
Eldar: Even if it's like, let's just say a boundary where you're like, yo, I don't want to speak about this.
1:56:39
Eldar: No problem.
1:56:39
Eldar: Nonetheless, there's a very specific communication that needs to take place in order for you to preserve your own moment in that moment.
1:56:45
Eldar: But if you want to invite, if you have the abilities to be able to.
1:56:50
Eldar: Affect their moment with yours because you have truth and you understand causality and you can pass that on and then the more the merrier, I think.
1:56:58
Eldar: And I think that's the next step of, uh, cracking, you know, the hierarchy of needs, right?
1:57:03
Eldar: First you crack it for yourself, obviously, and then you go get friends.
1:57:06
Harris: Yeah.
1:57:06
Eldar: And then one day you fucking get a loved one.
1:57:09
Harris: Mm hmm.
1:57:09
Eldar: And then one day you actualize that fucking whole shit.
1:57:11
Harris: Mm hmm.
1:57:12
Harris: Yeah,
1:57:14
Eldar: I think I think communicating is probably the most most important thing if we didn't then what the fuck why we have speech Right, like if we didn't need to communicate why the fuck are we talking?
1:57:25
Eldar: Why the fuck are like our eyes are speaking for us sometimes too, you know what I mean?
1:57:28
Eldar: We're constantly communicating, you know, I could show you angry eyes.
1:57:33
Eldar: I can show you smiley eyes.
1:57:34
Eldar: You know what I mean?
1:57:34
Eldar: I'm communicating for
1:57:36
Toliy: what?
1:57:37
Toliy: Yeah, you have a better attitude with your eyes.
1:57:39
Eldar: Yeah for what?
1:57:40
Eldar: That is a very specific thing that we're trying to do, right?
1:57:49
Eldar: Communicating how important it is.
1:57:53
Harris: Hmm.
1:57:54
Eldar: Is it important Harris?
1:57:55
Toliy: Yeah.
1:57:56
Toliy: Yeah.
1:57:56
Toliy: Yeah, like don't like You could, you, you could be the wisest person in the world, like, like, or, or like the all know, knowing of everything, but if you can't communicate it, then, well, look at
1:58:08
Mike: the story of Marcus Aurelius, he was like such a wise person and he, he, you know, people look at him now, he had everything figured out, right, but he never ever said anything to anybody because he believed that this was his practice, but stoicism is a huge thing and, you know, people all about it, you know, and he said a lot of wise things, but he had his approach.
1:58:29
Mike: He didn't communicate, you know, anything to anybody.
1:58:32
Mike: It was only discovered by accident after he died, you know, which is like, damn, did he do the right thing here by not communicating all this good knowledge?
1:58:41
Eldar: Yeah.
1:58:42
Eldar: And then it's, it's like on your own, right?
1:58:45
Eldar: Do it on your own and not share or not, you know, and not experience the joy from sharing and seeing the
1:58:51
Mike: joy from sharing is,
1:58:53
Eldar: yeah, it's great.
1:58:54
Eldar: Yeah.
1:58:54
Eldar: You know, I think that's probably the next level.
1:58:57
Mike: Yeah,
1:58:58
Eldar: I think I don't think I would be doing this podcast if I didn't believe in sharing,
1:59:03
Harris: right.
1:59:06
Eldar: Or maybe reincarnation,
1:59:08
Harris: you
1:59:10
Eldar: know, you know what I'm saying?
1:59:15
Eldar: You have to find a way back somehow, Harris, you know, this time, next time I'm probably be in a digital world, you know, it might not look as physical as we're feeling right now.
1:59:26
Eldar: But my figure is I was robots and then none of our parts will break.
1:59:30
Toliy: This is not the matrix, man.
1:59:32
Toliy: No, I don't know why I have, I, I just feel that like, I feel Harris will be either a moose or some kind of panda.
1:59:44
Toliy: What is wrong with you?
1:59:45
Eldar: At least you didn't say manatee, dude.
1:59:47
Eldar: Panda's good.
1:59:48
Eldar: I like him for a panda.
1:59:49
Eldar: Panda's nice.
1:59:49
Eldar: What is wrong with you?
1:59:50
Eldar: He's like a nice fluffy bunny.
1:59:51
Eldar: You think
1:59:51
Harris: I'm going to reincarnate into a fucking panda?
1:59:54
Harris: Or, or, or a moose.
1:59:55
Harris: At a zoo
1:59:56
Eldar: or wildlife?
1:59:58
Toliy: No,
1:59:58
Eldar: he's gotta be a bird.
2:00:00
Toliy: Depends.
2:00:03
Toliy: Which
2:00:04
Eldar: one is better?
2:00:06
Toliy: I think in wildlife probably.
2:00:07
Toliy: You gotta strive to be
2:00:10
Mike: wild next life.
2:00:11
Mike: For him it's better wildlife, but for everybody else, in the zoo.
2:00:13
Mike: Just
2:00:15
Eldar: watch him eat fuckin
2:00:17
Mike: uh,
2:00:17
Eldar: bamboo all day.
2:00:18
Eldar: Just fuckin chewin on that thing.
2:00:21
Eldar: Harris, we said our final thoughts.
2:00:24
Eldar: Would you like to bless us with your final thoughts on the topic?
2:00:30
Eldar: Wow, that was
2:00:31
Toliy: deep.
2:00:32
Toliy: Wow.
2:00:33
Toliy: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
2:00:34
Toliy: I have a lot of work to do.
2:00:37
Eldar: You come to the civilization every time?
2:00:39
Eldar: Yeah.
2:00:40
Eldar: Really?
2:00:40
Eldar: Yeah.
2:00:41
Eldar: What does that mean?
2:00:42
Eldar: What?
2:00:43
Eldar: Like, what does that mean?
2:00:44
Eldar: You have a lot of work to do.
2:00:44
Eldar: I have a
2:00:45
Harris: lot of traits I need to work on.
2:00:48
Eldar: Why?
2:00:48
Eldar: Did you, like, just kind of, uh, examine these things that we're talking about against your own self?
2:00:52
Eldar: You're like, fuck, I'm a piece of shit?
2:00:54
Mike: Yeah.
2:00:54
Mike: Really?
2:00:55
Eldar: Mm hmm.
2:00:56
Eldar: Can you
2:00:56
Mike: give five examples of a person who's not on the train?
2:00:59
Mike: Oh, well, yeah, you got a bad
2:01:02
Eldar: attitude, not humble, not humble.
2:01:05
Mike: So what does it mean to have a bad attitude?
2:01:06
Mike: Like, can you give a example of not having a good
2:01:09
Eldar: miserable fuck?
2:01:11
Eldar: A miserable fuck.
2:01:12
Eldar: Okay.
2:01:14
Harris: Bad attitude, not humble, dishonest.
2:01:17
Harris: So liar lying.
2:01:19
Harris: Okay.
2:01:20
Harris: Uh, not compassionate, not compassionate.
2:01:27
Eldar: Don't take it doesn't take accountability.
2:01:29
Mike: So how have you displayed those behaviors?
2:01:31
Mike: If you have, of course, I don't know.
2:01:32
Eldar: Hey, come on.
2:01:33
Eldar: Why is he one of your dirty laundry?
2:01:34
Eldar: That's not cool, man.
2:01:35
Eldar: Yeah.
2:01:36
Eldar: He already admitted that he, like, just listened to this whole thing and realized that he has those qualities.
2:01:40
Eldar: He's like to work on that, man.
2:01:41
Eldar: He was talking about himself.
2:01:42
Eldar: Yeah.
2:01:42
Eldar: Wow.
2:01:42
Eldar: That's good, man.
2:01:43
Eldar: Well, I just want to make sure.
2:01:44
Eldar: I also have one more thing
2:01:46
Mike: to say.
2:01:46
Mike: Uh huh.
2:01:47
Mike: I believe Socrates was the God.
2:01:48
Mike: Socrates
2:01:48
Harris: was the God.
2:01:49
Harris: Mm.
2:01:56
Eldar: So he's the creator of this whole thing makes sense.
2:01:59
Eldar: No,
2:02:00
Harris: so you he has these quotes on what life is and what people should strive for and
2:02:11
Eldar: Something tells me that you might have those quotes as well one day just not today