Latest / Dear Divorce Diary: A Fresh Approach To Healing Grief & Building A Life Of Confidence After Divorce / 57. They say "God has a plan for you" but you don't know how to Trust - Have you tried this?

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57. They say "God has a plan for you" but you don't know how to Trust - Have you tried this? · Dear Divorce Diary: A Fresh Approach To Healing Grief & Building A Life Of Confidence After Divorce

• 0:53
  Speaker 1: Hi, love, this is Dawn and you're listening to Dear Divorce Diary with my coach, dawn, where we explore the post-divorce life and you, the woman who lives it.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: We cover everything from trauma during and after divorce to feeling like a stranger in your own life and the new frontier of life as a single woman.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: We're cozy in for the conversations we've been longing to have about this new life.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Hi, love, today we are talking about the super sexy topic of God, as you understand her.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: Yes, i am being a little cheeky, but, truthfully, one of the things that you are really struggling with that I relate to is knowing at a very deep level that God has a plan for your life and that you are in the plan right now, but not really feeling that.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: You know, like still feeling gripped with anxiety, insecurity, anger and like knowing on some level that you have been promised certain things by our creator.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: But you're feeling a little some type of way about that right now because you're like, where are the things you promised?
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: And so, for the purpose of this episode, i would like everyone to hear that when I say God to me the word God it has been deeply triggering to me over the years.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: I think it is triggering to people and they don't even know it oftentimes.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: And so I'm using the word God love.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: But know that if that word bumps you, even if you don't know or realize that it bumps you, i really am saying source, energy, higher power, the thing that keeps the planet spinning on its access, suspended in a universe surrounded by other planets, spinning.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: Whatever that power is, whatever that organized thing is that is so awe inspiring and wonderful.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: That is what I mean when I say God And it's.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: You know, i was raised as a Christian and you know, have gone over around and through about all of that over the years And you know, if you're, if you're, a listener, you know that I also talk about astrology and human design and you know inner being and law of attraction and all of these things right.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: But I have found that there is a great agreement, or, yeah, agreement, or alignment between and amongst many spiritual practices out there.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: So I don't discriminate, i love them all.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: Bring whatever your spiritual path is, bring it here.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: It's good with me, i love it, i love you.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: But for ease, let's just call it God for today.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: Cool, all right.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: So I already said, the planet is spinning on its access, suspended in the universal galaxy thing, right, there is something out there that has clearly an organization to it, that has an immense amount of power, And we could get into the whole quantum mechanics thing, which I totally geek out on And, oh my goodness love talking about that.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: We can kind of, through science, prove God's existence at this point, which is so exciting.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: But I want this episode to really be about that same power that keeps the planet spinning in the universe is in you, right, this minute, and you feel largely disconnected from that.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: Not completely, and in some days are better than others, right?
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: You ever notice if you go to some spiritual gathering on that day you feel greater calm or greater peace.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: If you've done the post-divorce roadmap, the immersive journaling experience, you know the first couple of days you I ask you to do some body work and some breath work and you feel immediately more peaceful and grounded.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: That's because you're more aligned with your spiritual self in that moment, right?
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: So there are these moments in time where you feel more tuned in to God's plan for your life and the knowingness that you are held.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: And then there's all these other moments of the day where you feel completely out of control and like batshit, insane.
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: And the goal of this podcast is to help you get a little bit more towards the grounded, peaceful place and spend less time in the what the actual F place right.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: So let's talk about that First things first.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: There is absolutely an organization to your life plan, to your human design, and something producer Joy said to me a lot two years ago that now I often say back to her is My God is not a God of chaos.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: My God is not a God of chaos.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: Now, sometimes, as humans, we look at the mess and we call it chaos, But that's because we don't get it yet right.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: We don't get it because our perception and our view is too limited to get it right.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: So so, love, your God is not a God of chaos And although it feels very chaotic to you right now, it isn't.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: It is very purposeful, it is very intentional And there is definitely a plan, a path right.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: I like path better than plan.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: Plan sounds so predetermined that it's like well, i got to follow the plan or what like what.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: I'm off the island Like there's a path right, there's a path, and you get a lot of discretion along that path.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: You get a lot of choices along that path, about how to live that path out for yourself.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: But there's definitely a path, and I think one of the problems that we create for ourselves when we're moving through divorce is doubting our choices through the divorce process and being afraid we're doing it wrong and we're disappointing God or we are not.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: How do I want to say this?
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like like getting it wrong right, like somehow you're being punished or there's some karma coming to you or some thing that you're just not being a good enough girl or a good enough Christian, that this is happening.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: Like let's just throw all of that out.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: Okay, let's.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: For the purpose of this episode, let's pretend you can pick up some other belief at the end of the episode, but for the purpose of this one, let's pretend that everything that led you to this point you have done beautifully, that you have executed beautifully and you have not done anything wrong or against God or against the path, that you are perfectly on the path exactly where you're meant to be.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: Okay, if we were to presume that is true for this moment, then why?
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: Why is this all so awful, don Great, let's talk about that.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: So there's a plan, but very often you're not tuned in to hearing the plan and the path right.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: And so when we're not tuned in to understanding the path and where it leads, we often are falling off the path or like running the hard edges of the outside edge of the path, and it's painful there because there's always going to be something that keeps us bumping back onto the path.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: Right, but if we're not hearing it, we're not hearing the path, then we're going to get messages the hard way.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: So let's talk about the one mechanism I want you to shift as a result of this podcast episode.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: I want you to get better at hearing the path, early rather than late.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: You're like great Dawn, thanks for preaching at me.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: Isn't this already what you know?
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: all the spiritual leaders try to tell me maybe I don't know, but let's check it out, okay, because I'm not here to tell you you're doing it better, wrong.
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: I think that every time we bump into the edge of the path and we're like, oh crap, let's readjust, it's all fine, but there's a less painful way to do it, okay.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: So, but how?
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: Let's imagine that God is a radio signal.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: It's actually true, but let's imagine God's a radio signal And let's imagine you are a radio signal receiver.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: Okay, remember, if you're as old as I am, you remember what it was like to tune in a radio dial, right?
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: And let's say you were looking for that hip hop station and you had to scroll through the early stations and you had to move through all the Christian radio and then maybe the the old rock station and then eventually you'd get to the hip hop stage.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: If you grew up in South Florida, it was power 96.
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: Okay, so you're trying, you're headed for power 96 and you got all this other stuff, and then in between the stations is a bunch of static, right?
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: Okay, when you are not tuned in, you are in the static.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: Or, even worse, you're in the in between, where you get a few words but not enough words to really know what the actual crap you're supposed to be doing, and then that sets you off in this really indecisive, uncertain place.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: Like I didn't quite hear the message.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: I'm going to try to wing it.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: I don't really know what I'm supposed to do next.
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: Okay, so God is a radio signal, you're a radio receiver and your job is to be tuned in.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: How?
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: By prioritizing your wellness.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: That's the shift I want you to make.
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: I want you to prioritize your wellness, and I want you to get tuned in Now.
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: Think about it.
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: If you're consistently this is where it's going to sound all of a sudden, i'm going to sound like a preacher.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: What happened?
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: Okay, if you're consistently polluting your body by over committing to shit you hate doing, and if you're polluting your body, mind, body, mind, body by numbing out to recover from over committing to all the shit you hate doing, you have just blocked your radio signal.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: So a huge chunk of the time you spend filling obligations and trying to please other people, and then a huge chunk of your time you spend trying to recover from that, scrolling Instagram, drinking wine and shopping on Amazon Okay, so how can you hear the path if you're constantly committing to being out of alignment?
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: And so, first things first, if you prioritize your wellness above everything and that doesn't mean don't ever get drunk I got drunk this weekend, okay, but it's like by drunk, i mean, i had one and a half beers, that's my version, so but I'm not saying don't ever do anything fun or crazy Or like a little irresponsible.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: That's not what I mean, right, but?
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: but are you prioritizing above everything else Your wellness?
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: Because when you are sleeping well and eating well and drinking well and loving well and listening to your path the majority of the time then the anxiety that you feel, the uncertainty you feel about God I know there's a path, but I don't get it Right That's all going to shed love, because you're going to know you're going to have all these reaffirming experiences When you are tuned in.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: You're going to get the messages from the universe, you're going to get the messages from God and you're going to be, and then you're going to follow the message and then it's going to work out, and then you're going to be like, oh, oh, that's how this works, right.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: And so when you prioritize wellness, which means, yes, taking care of your mental and emotional care, taking care of your spiritual self, taking care of your physical body first and foremost, then you're gonna be tuned in.
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: Now let's say that, because you're in so much distress and you have prayed on the shower floor so many times, god in her infinite wisdom came floating down and literally sat on the shower floor across from you and said okay, i'm here, you have questions, i have answers.
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: Can you imagine it?
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: Okay, i hope your shower is bigger than it actually is to fit the two of you on the floor together, but stay with me.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: So now God is saying all right, you want answers about the plan, because you're so freaked out and you're so uncertain and you want to know if you're ever gonna actually find true love and if you're ever gonna not struggle and if you're ever gonna understand why this happened to you and if you're ever gonna just feel happiness and peace.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: And God said to you love my dear, sweet child.
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: Here is the actual, very specific line by line plan that I have for you, and here are the steps I need you to take to execute this plan in order for you to have peace and true love and someone who cherishes you and to not be in pain all the time.
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: Here are the steps I need you to take ready, go, and then God handed you this piece of paper.
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: It's very fancy paper.
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: It's like the very fancy paper that you get at the very fancy paper store in the outdoor mall.
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: It's very, very beautiful paper And on it is a list.
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: Okay, now you have this list in your hand, in your current life, as it stands today, right now, how much time and energy do you have to execute God's plan that she just handed you on the fanciest, most beautiful piece of paper you have ever seen in your life.
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: How much time and energy do you have to execute the plan?
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: And this is my point for you today is that nothing changes if nothing changes, and it sucks that God in her infinite wisdom is going to rescue you, but first you have to make time and space for you to co-rescue, right.
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: How collaborative are you being with your higher power?
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: How much are you showing up to execute your higher power's path?
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: that you know?
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: you know, i know you know this love.
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: I know you know deep down inside of you that there is a path.
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: And the problem isn't that you're a bad person or you're not worth it, or you're not lovable, or that there's something really effing wrong with you.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: The problem is you spend too much of your time not tuned in, and so, because you're pleasing so many other people and then trying to recover from that, most of what you're trying to recover from is that Trying to please other people slash living in a modern world where we have way too much stimulation and way too many unresolved traumas and your nervous system is jacked right.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: So your job here is to recognize where you need to be more collaborative with your higher power, where you need to make more time and space to execute your higher power's desires for you, which just means prioritizing your wellness, which means recovering from a modern lifestyle.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: It means treating your mind, body, spirit with more love and respect.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: And it means connecting with people who Get it on that level, who prioritize Love, wellness and respect above all else, not judgment, shame, blame.
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: Telling you what you're doing with criticism, right like telling you you're not doing good enough.
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: You are so loved, you are so held, you are so magical.
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: You are losing your like leaking energy by continuing to Not be tuned into the radio station, catching a couple of what's like you tune in, You know, it's like maybe you pop into church on Sunday Or maybe you like go to the gym and you like download some message from God.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: You're like because you got grounded, right like endorphins and all that's like you did something, got really tuned in and like you downloaded a message and Then, like a couple hours later, some shit happened and you're like I Lost the radio signal and you're like what was that and what was?
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: and then you like wait another 10 days And before you get tuned in and download another message right like Love, you just got to break the cycle right more consistently, staying grounded, tuned in and prioritizing wellness and carrying more about How you feel and how you feel about your higher powers path than how everybody else feels.
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: And Yes, that's hard, yes, that's hard.
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: It is a difficult transition To transition from other people think of you to only what you and your higher power think of you.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: That is a difficult transition.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: I would say that that is.
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: It's the biggest thing I have been really kind of putting the fine touches on over these last couple of years.
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: That has enabled me to Sit at this microphone with you each week, because you know if you're afraid of pissing people off like gosh, every time you settle up to a microphone like you're gonna piss somebody off, like that's it, you know.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: And so You've got this.
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: Your mission this week and every day moving forward, is To prioritize your wellness above all else and collaborate with your higher power on a consistent basis and then trust that process because You are held and there is a path and everything you long for is Waiting for you to line up to it.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: Everything you long for has already been delivered, but you have not made space for it.
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: And No, it's not gonna just poof appear.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: It's incremental, it's a process and You have to do the full work.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: I Love doing footwork with you, so let's just do a little more footwork to listen clearly, to get grounded.
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: If it's anxiety, ignore it.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: It's not real, it's not true.
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: Anything That's anxiety is not coming from a place of spiritual alignment.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: And, if you want, send me a message about Where.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: I would love to know this.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: Where it's hardest for you to Stay on the path of prioritizing wellness and collaborating with your higher power?
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: What are the things that tend to knock you off the path most?
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: I would love to get a clear understanding about what that is for you and in the meantime, no, i love you so much.
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna talk to you soon.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: Okay, peace, love.
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: Would you do me a favor?
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: You know when you're Shopping for that sweater on Amazon and you really think it looks cute, but is it a good idea?
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: and you go and check the reviews to help you make your choice and they're like oh my goodness, i'm so glad I read those reviews.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: That was so helpful.
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: Would you review and rate this pod?
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: it would be so Helpful to other listeners who are trying to decide.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: Is this the place where they want to commit their time, and It would be so helpful to me Knowing what works, what doesn't work, what you love, and it would be so helpful to other people just even finding us.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: So if you could rate and review, I would be so grateful and you would be doing so many people a huge favor.
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: I love you so much.
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: Peace, dear divorce.
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: Diary is a podcast by my coach John.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: You can find more at my coach John.