Latest / Dear Chelsea / “Totally Booked with Zibby: Chelsea Handler”
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Hi, it's Catherine. We're sharing Chelsea's recent interview on the
- 0:03Speaker 1: Webby Award winning daily podcast Totally Booked with Zibby, hosted
- 0:07Speaker 1: by Zibby Owens, the powerhouse bookstore owner and best selling author.
- 0:10Speaker 1: Dubbed NYC's most powerful book fluencer by Vulture, Totally Booked
- 0:14Speaker 1: delivers interviews with the best and buzziest authors like Chelsea.
- 0:18Speaker 1: You'll hear an in depth exploration of Chelsea's New York
- 0:20Speaker 1: Times bestselling book, I'll have what She's having. Be sure
- 0:23Speaker 1: to follow Totally Booked with Zibby on your favorite podcast
- 0:25Speaker 1: app enjoy the episode.
- 0:28Speaker 2: Hi, this is Zibby Owens and you're listening to Totally
- 0:32Speaker 2: Booked with Zibby. Formerly moms don't have time to read books.
- 0:36Speaker 2: In my daily show, I interview today's latest, best selling, buzziest,
- 0:40Speaker 2: or underrated authors and story creators whose work I think
- 0:44Speaker 2: is worth your time. As a bookstore owner, publisher, author,
- 0:48Speaker 2: and obviously podcaster, I get a comprehensive look at everything
- 0:52Speaker 2: that's coming out and spend my time curating the best
- 0:55Speaker 2: books so you don't have to stay in the no
- 0:58Speaker 2: get insider insights, and connect with guests like I do
- 1:02Speaker 2: every single day. For more information, go to zibymedia dot
- 1:06Speaker 2: com and follow me on Instagram at zibby Owens. Chelsea
- 1:12Speaker 2: Handler is the author of I'll Have What She's Having.
- 1:15Speaker 2: Chelsea is a comedian, television host, six time New York
- 1:19Speaker 2: Times bestselling author, and advocate whose humor and candor have
- 1:23Speaker 2: established her as one of the most celebrated voices in
- 1:26Speaker 2: entertainment and pop culture. After a strong seven year run
- 1:29Speaker 2: as the host of ease top rated Chelsea Lately, a
- 1:32Speaker 2: tenure in which she was the only female late night
- 1:34Speaker 2: talk show host on air, she launched her documentary series
- 1:38Speaker 2: Chelsea Does, followed by her talk show Chelsea on Netflix
- 1:41Speaker 2: in twenty sixteen. She has penned six New York Times
- 1:45Speaker 2: bestselling books, five of which have reached number one, including
- 1:48Speaker 2: twenty nineteen's Life Will Be the Death of Me. Her
- 1:51Speaker 2: upcoming seventh book, a new memoir in essays, I'll Have
- 1:54Speaker 2: What She's Having, will publish February twenty fifth, twenty twenty five.
- 1:58Speaker 2: In twenty twenty one, she launched her I Heart Art
- 2:00Speaker 2: radio advice podcast Dear Chelsea, and embarked on the Vaccinated
- 2:03Speaker 2: and Horny Tour, bringing her sensational stand up set to
- 2:06Speaker 2: over ninety cities with one hundred and fifteen shows across
- 2:09Speaker 2: North America and winning the Comedy Act of twenty twenty
- 2:11Speaker 2: one at the People's Choice Awards. Following the success of
- 2:15Speaker 2: her twenty twenty HBO Max comedy special Evolution, which earned
- 2:18Speaker 2: Chelsea a Grammy nomination for Best Comedy Album, she made
- 2:21Speaker 2: her return to Netflix with her critically acclaimed twenty twenty
- 2:24Speaker 2: two comedy special Revolution. Handler is currently on her stand
- 2:28Speaker 2: up tour, Chelsea Handler Live, and recently kicked off her
- 2:31Speaker 2: Las Vegas residency, Chelsea at the Chelsea at the cosmopolitin
- 2:36Speaker 2: make history as the venue's first female comedian residency. Welcome Chelsea,
- 2:40Speaker 2: thank you so much for coming on totally booked to
- 2:42Speaker 2: talk about I'll have what She's having. Congratulations, Thank you,
- 2:46Speaker 2: thank you.
- 2:46Speaker 3: Nice to meet you.
- 2:48Speaker 2: Nice to meet you. Okay, tell listeners what this book
- 2:51Speaker 2: is about, please.
- 2:53Speaker 4: I think this book is about infusing optimism in times
- 2:58Speaker 4: of despair or ease, while also serving as a reminder
- 3:04Speaker 4: for women, especially to check in with ourselves and make
- 3:10Speaker 4: sure that we are turning into the women that we
- 3:13Speaker 4: wanted to become.
- 3:15Speaker 2: I love that you manifested your whole life when you
- 3:18Speaker 2: were younger, like, this is it, this is who I
- 3:19Speaker 2: want to be. Let's see how I can make this happen.
- 3:22Speaker 2: I mean all I did is like I want to
- 3:23Speaker 2: be a teacher. I want to be a writer. Anyway,
- 3:26Speaker 2: pretty impressive.
- 3:28Speaker 3: Thank you, Thank you.
- 3:29Speaker 4: I think that you know, especially now, what we're experiencing
- 3:33Speaker 4: as a country and just this backlash against women, I
- 3:38Speaker 4: have no doubt in us, you know, I have no
- 3:40Speaker 4: misgivings about how powerful women are.
- 3:43Speaker 3: And we are in this situation right.
- 3:44Speaker 4: Now because of that power and because of the threat
- 3:46Speaker 4: that that serves up to people who can't deal with,
- 3:49Speaker 4: you know, women being powerful. But we're not going anywhere,
- 3:52Speaker 4: so this is just another bump in the road because
- 3:54Speaker 4: women are powerful. We are the source of almost everything,
- 3:58Speaker 4: and we're so smart and like we're finally figuring that
- 4:02Speaker 4: out as a collective, I think, and while while the
- 4:06Speaker 4: backdrop is not pretty, I'm very optimistic about what is
- 4:10Speaker 4: to come.
- 4:10Speaker 2: Well, speaking of powerful women, you early in the book
- 4:14Speaker 2: have a meeting with Jane Funda, who gives you some
- 4:17Speaker 2: rather unsavory feedback about your behavior, which you take very
- 4:20Speaker 2: well and actually use to re examine yourself and change
- 4:25Speaker 2: tell me about that and how you can take advice
- 4:29Speaker 2: and not be defensive.
- 4:31Speaker 3: Well learned in therapy.
- 4:32Speaker 4: One of the first things I learned in therapy was
- 4:34Speaker 4: about being defensive and if you are being defensive, you're
- 4:37Speaker 4: usually wrong. Like, if you're right, you don't have to
- 4:39Speaker 4: defend yourself, you don't care.
- 4:41Speaker 3: You know the truth.
- 4:41Speaker 4: You know the sky is blue, that your eyes are blue,
- 4:44Speaker 4: that you know the laundry like the washing machine is going.
- 4:47Speaker 4: I know all of those things to be true. So like,
- 4:51Speaker 4: if you're right, you're right, you like you know, you
- 4:53Speaker 4: don't have to defend yourself. And defending yourself also makes
- 4:57Speaker 4: you lose control, right because you're like, no, I.
- 4:59Speaker 3: Did that, I did do that.
- 5:00Speaker 4: I did Like it's kind of just a lose lose situation.
- 5:05Speaker 4: So and then also when someone's telling you something like
- 5:08Speaker 4: all you can say is thank you, And if they're
- 5:09Speaker 4: completely out of their tree and they're not making like
- 5:12Speaker 4: they're not saying something that you believe to be true,
- 5:15Speaker 4: then who cares anyway?
- 5:17Speaker 3: Like it only matters if it is true.
- 5:19Speaker 2: It's easier to hear that, but less easy to internalize.
- 5:23Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, and I'm I mean people are always assuming
- 5:26Speaker 4: that I have no you know that I have so
- 5:29Speaker 4: guarded or protected, like I just everything rolls off my back,
- 5:33Speaker 4: or you know that I'm so confident. People always saying
- 5:36Speaker 4: where do you get your confidence from? I'm like, where's
- 5:38Speaker 4: your confident? Where's your confidence? We should all be confident.
- 5:40Speaker 4: We should be instilling that in each other. You know,
- 5:43Speaker 4: I want all.
- 5:43Speaker 3: Of us to be confident.
- 5:44Speaker 4: I want all of our young women that are coming
- 5:46Speaker 4: up in this world to experience the confidence that I
- 5:49Speaker 4: feel every day.
- 5:50Speaker 2: From your mouth to God's ears. Let's just say that
- 5:52Speaker 2: I hope that happens too. That would be amazing. You've
- 5:55Speaker 2: served as a role model for a lot of people
- 5:58Speaker 2: yourself whoopsie, whoopsie, or I don't know, I'm probably getting
- 6:01Speaker 2: their day strugopsy, whopsy, whoops. Anyway, that yes, and that
- 6:05Speaker 2: was so nice. So you date. You can tell the
- 6:07Speaker 2: story of it in the book. You were dating someone
- 6:09Speaker 2: got quite attached to his kids. You were so helpful
- 6:12Speaker 2: to them, you feel devoid in their lives and maintain
- 6:15Speaker 2: this relationship with them for so long. Talk a little
- 6:18Speaker 2: bit about that and sort of stepping into this role
- 6:20Speaker 2: which you funnily enough call yourself father in this dynamic.
- 6:23Speaker 2: But talk about that role in sort of inherited family.
- 6:27Speaker 4: Well, there are so many people women, I mean, people
- 6:29Speaker 4: would never know how many children there are in my life,
- 6:32Speaker 4: how many children that I'm really close to, how many
- 6:34Speaker 4: children that are. I mean, there's lots of them, and
- 6:37Speaker 4: not just my nieces and nephews.
- 6:39Speaker 3: Randoms, you know, random children. And so I kind of
- 6:45Speaker 3: found myself.
- 6:46Speaker 4: You know, I've never wanted a baby, but people automatically
- 6:49Speaker 4: assume if you don't want a child or you don't
- 6:51Speaker 4: that you're that you don't like children.
- 6:52Speaker 3: It's not that I don't like children. I just don't
- 6:54Speaker 3: want one. I want like a postami sandwich. I'm not interested.
- 6:59Speaker 3: You know, I can appreciate shape them, you know, good,
- 7:01Speaker 3: go get one, but not for me. Like that message
- 7:04Speaker 3: alone is now becoming louder.
- 7:06Speaker 4: People are saying and expressing, yes, I don't want to
- 7:09Speaker 4: have a child, that's not for me, and I also
- 7:11Speaker 4: don't want to be married. These can be antiquated notions,
- 7:14Speaker 4: you know, when you break them all down.
- 7:16Speaker 3: What are all these institutions about. It's kind of all
- 7:19Speaker 3: pretty stupid.
- 7:20Speaker 4: So I want to, like, you know, get after life
- 7:23Speaker 4: and really impact the young people around me, to feel
- 7:27Speaker 4: and instill in them the way that you know, the
- 7:30Speaker 4: way that I feel about the world, which is anything
- 7:32Speaker 4: is possible and you And to have an impact.
- 7:35Speaker 3: On young people's lives like Poopsie, Woopsie and Oopsie.
- 7:37Speaker 4: Like to be there for them, to want them, want
- 7:40Speaker 4: My attention is basically all I need.
- 7:42Speaker 3: If you need me, I'm coming.
- 7:44Speaker 4: But if you don't need me, great, But you know,
- 7:46Speaker 4: like to be of service to young people and the
- 7:50Speaker 4: amount of young people I'm able to whose lives I
- 7:53Speaker 4: am able to impact because I didn't have my own children,
- 7:56Speaker 4: because I don't have a family of my own to
- 7:58Speaker 4: focus on, has allowed me to grow so much and
- 8:02Speaker 4: has given me so much more you know, purpose and
- 8:05Speaker 4: joy than I would have ever.
- 8:07Speaker 3: Hoped to feel as a person who never had children.
- 8:11Speaker 2: Well, I just I just love that. I mean babies
- 8:13Speaker 2: as Pastrami sandwiches. Who knew right, who knew? You tell
- 8:19Speaker 2: a lot of stories in the book about different situations
- 8:22Speaker 2: you find yourself in that are funny and sad and
- 8:25Speaker 2: all the things, one of which which I guess could
- 8:28Speaker 2: be construed as both in given your points of view.
- 8:31Speaker 2: But going to Kennebunkport, where other members of your family
- 8:35Speaker 2: were like, yes, you have to go if you've gotten
- 8:36Speaker 2: this invitation and meeting the former president and while you're
- 8:41Speaker 2: you know, having edibles and whatever, and like, you know,
- 8:43Speaker 2: wearing sunglasses and trying to see him for who he
- 8:47Speaker 2: is as a man and not necessarily his beliefs and
- 8:49Speaker 2: all of that. Like, tell me a little bit about
- 8:51Speaker 2: that story, and why do you put it in?
- 8:54Speaker 4: I put it in because it was just one more
- 8:55Speaker 4: example of the ridiculous circumstances I find myself.
- 8:58Speaker 2: In all the time.
- 9:00Speaker 3: Anytime my family's with me, they're.
- 9:01Speaker 4: Like, oh my god, you know, it's only because of
- 9:04Speaker 4: you that these things happen.
- 9:05Speaker 3: I'm like, yeah, the good and the bad.
- 9:07Speaker 4: So going to Kenny Bunkport was not on my wish list.
- 9:11Speaker 4: But because of my political leanings, I just was not
- 9:14Speaker 4: interested in that. And I'm friends with his daughter, Barbara Bush,
- 9:17Speaker 4: who is featured in the book, and they invited our
- 9:20Speaker 4: family and friends to go over there to play pickleball, another.
- 9:24Speaker 3: Activity I'm not interested in.
- 9:26Speaker 4: And I was coerced by my siblings who were like,
- 9:30Speaker 4: don't take this opportunity away from most Chelsea. We are
- 9:33Speaker 4: going to Kenny Bunkport with or without you. I wanted
- 9:36Speaker 4: to say good luck getting in without me. But so
- 9:40Speaker 4: we went and I in order to subdue my personality.
- 9:44Speaker 4: Something else I learned through therapy is to drug myself,
- 9:47Speaker 4: like I have to if I'm going to deal with
- 9:49Speaker 4: a person that I find difficult, I need to take
- 9:51Speaker 4: an edible and then I can deal with them, like
- 9:53Speaker 4: I know, to prepare myself for situations and ways in
- 9:56Speaker 4: which I didn't before. So like you take out the
- 9:59Speaker 4: irritation of the exchange and you're kind or and nicer
- 10:02Speaker 4: to the person.
- 10:02Speaker 3: So it's a win win.
- 10:04Speaker 2: So and that is just an alternative to cognitive behavioral therapy.
- 10:08Speaker 2: This is just exactly exactly for people who don't have
- 10:11Speaker 2: time to take an edible.
- 10:14Speaker 3: So, yes, I went over there and I had taken
- 10:16Speaker 3: three edibles.
- 10:17Speaker 4: That's that's how much I needed to make sure that
- 10:19Speaker 4: I didn't, you know, confront him about anything on his property,
- 10:23Speaker 4: Like I don't.
- 10:24Speaker 3: Want to be like that. So and I have a
- 10:28Speaker 3: habit and a history of outbursts, so.
- 10:31Speaker 4: I knew that I had to really reined in, you know,
- 10:34Speaker 4: So I did take three edibles when I got there.
- 10:37Speaker 3: Barbara Lai Barbara Bush told me he would be getting
- 10:39Speaker 3: a massage.
- 10:39Speaker 4: And then I would not meet him, and I met
- 10:42Speaker 4: him within five minutes of being on the pick a
- 10:43Speaker 4: ball court, and I was and I was, yes, it
- 10:47Speaker 4: was a ridiculous situation. And then he showed me his
- 10:50Speaker 4: personal painting collection and asked me to take my sunglasses off,
- 10:54Speaker 4: and then I had.
- 10:55Speaker 3: To reveal to him that I was stoned.
- 10:57Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, do you have these like moments that
- 11:01Speaker 2: few people in the world have. And then you flip
- 11:04Speaker 2: to really, you know, just reveling in isolation and how
- 11:10Speaker 2: great it can feel to be alone, and how you've
- 11:12Speaker 2: learned to be alone, and how when you got to
- 11:15Speaker 2: Canada being Whistler, you didn't mind the mandatory time to
- 11:18Speaker 2: just read and hang out in your underwear or whatever.
- 11:22Speaker 2: Tell me about that and learning to accept to be
- 11:24Speaker 2: alone and all of that.
- 11:26Speaker 4: Well, I think the it's combined because the whole point
- 11:29Speaker 4: of the Butch story also, like the kind of sub
- 11:33Speaker 4: sub story to that, is that it is another example
- 11:35Speaker 4: of always remaining who you are no matter what circumstances
- 11:38Speaker 4: you are in, Like I was going to always remain
- 11:41Speaker 4: true to myself, So that meant taking three edibles and
- 11:46Speaker 4: also telling everybody when you know, like being truthful about it,
- 11:51Speaker 4: like remaining who you are in situations like that, most
- 11:55Speaker 4: people in their world don't get to experience. I think
- 11:57Speaker 4: is another thing that we should all aim to be
- 12:00Speaker 4: doing is being ourselves more. And I think the reason
- 12:03Speaker 4: you get to find out who you are is by
- 12:06Speaker 4: spending time alone. Like my time in Whistler that you
- 12:09Speaker 4: were just referring to was like the first period of
- 12:11Speaker 4: time where I was an adult and I could do
- 12:13Speaker 4: just what I want when I wanted no one, even
- 12:16Speaker 4: though I can kind of do that, I just to
- 12:18Speaker 4: have so many responsibilities elsewhere. So I was up here
- 12:21Speaker 4: just behaving like however I wanted, and I was just
- 12:25Speaker 4: walking around my underwear smoking weed.
- 12:27Speaker 3: I read like thirty books in two weeks. I read
- 12:30Speaker 3: so many books, and I was the time of my life.
- 12:33Speaker 4: I was quarantining for two weeks, so that's why I
- 12:36Speaker 4: read so many books in that short amount of time.
- 12:38Speaker 4: And then I just got up and skied for like
- 12:41Speaker 4: fifty days in a row after and it just felt
- 12:44Speaker 4: like I was I got introduced to myself.
- 12:49Speaker 2: Okay, I love it. You can hear your internal voice
- 12:52Speaker 2: talking to you right when you tell us about skiing
- 12:55Speaker 2: and having you know you're like, why am I risking
- 12:57Speaker 2: my life to chase after to elderly women who were
- 13:01Speaker 2: so much faster than me skiing, like what am I doing?
- 13:03Speaker 2: And we all have those moments, right, like Okay, I'm
- 13:07Speaker 2: in this competitive situation, but like what am I? I
- 13:09Speaker 2: don't even want to be in this competitive situation? Can't
- 13:11Speaker 2: I just stop? How do you think you're able Aside
- 13:15Speaker 2: from obviously this great therapist who everybody listening to this
- 13:19Speaker 2: is going to want to have as a therapist after this,
- 13:21Speaker 2: but how do you think for people who it's harder
- 13:23Speaker 2: for it to sort of see themselves from the outside
- 13:26Speaker 2: and step aside and say, like, wait a minute, look
- 13:28Speaker 2: at my behavior. Right, It's a skill that you have
- 13:31Speaker 2: to learn not to be so in it.
- 13:33Speaker 4: It's self awareness, like actually thinking about how you're coming
- 13:36Speaker 4: across rather than just coming across, like considering other people's
- 13:41Speaker 4: reactions to you, which something I never really did for
- 13:44Speaker 4: so long. So that was kind of a wake up call,
- 13:47Speaker 4: you know. And I think for regular people it's it's
- 13:51Speaker 4: it's just more listening and less talking. Like there was
- 13:53Speaker 4: a period of time where I just didn't really have much.
- 13:56Speaker 3: To say because I was just watching everything and it
- 13:59Speaker 3: was pretty.
- 13:59Speaker 4: You know, it's not it wasn't necessarily fun, but the
- 14:03Speaker 4: gift of self awareness is like the best gift you
- 14:05Speaker 4: can give yourself.
- 14:06Speaker 3: So it's important a to be alone.
- 14:09Speaker 4: It's important to be alone with uncomfortable feelings and not
- 14:11Speaker 4: try to have somebody else fix.
- 14:13Speaker 2: Them or heal them.
- 14:14Speaker 4: It's important for you to go through emotions and know
- 14:17Speaker 4: that when you come out, you're going to be okay.
- 14:19Speaker 4: And it's important for all women to know that right
- 14:21Speaker 4: when they're about to go through a difficult situation, that
- 14:24Speaker 4: they're going to get through it and there's going to
- 14:26Speaker 4: be a rainbow on the other side, I promise you,
- 14:29Speaker 4: Like we all need to know that. And I think
- 14:32Speaker 4: you get that from spending time alone and actually practicing,
- 14:36Speaker 4: like being really into yourself in a way generous of spirit,
- 14:40Speaker 4: not in a way that is you have your head
- 14:42Speaker 4: up your ass in a way that it allows you
- 14:44Speaker 4: to give so much more to other people because then
- 14:46Speaker 4: you're so confident and solid that you're able to spread
- 14:49Speaker 4: love and joy and like really kind of light people
- 14:52Speaker 4: up when they're down and pick people up. Like that's
- 14:55Speaker 4: a role that I take kind of seriously, not kind of,
- 14:58Speaker 4: I mean it takes seriously, like I really do.
- 15:01Speaker 3: It makes me proud to.
- 15:02Speaker 4: Be a woman that will help another woman when they're
- 15:04Speaker 4: in despair or they're distraught, or they're going through something difficult.
- 15:08Speaker 4: And I think we're all just realizing how important and
- 15:14Speaker 4: not just realizing, but definitely in my lifetime, it feels
- 15:17Speaker 4: like a moment where women are really recognizing the power
- 15:20Speaker 4: that we have and how important it is to uplift
- 15:24Speaker 4: each other.
- 15:25Speaker 3: And yeah, so I think that all comes from spending
- 15:27Speaker 3: time alone.
- 15:29Speaker 2: Amazing. I don't know when I spend time alone and read,
- 15:31Speaker 2: I don't necessarily come out with a new vantage point.
- 15:34Speaker 2: So this is good, this is maybe it has to
- 15:36Speaker 2: be in a ski location for it to really.
- 15:37Speaker 4: Work, you know, well, to be intentional that you really
- 15:40Speaker 4: like want to get you kind you know what I mean,
- 15:42Speaker 4: you have to get uncomfortable with yourself.
- 15:45Speaker 3: You have to be uncomfortable to get really comfortable.
- 15:48Speaker 4: So it's like you have to be alone and you
- 15:50Speaker 4: have to have conversations that are not necessarily you know,
- 15:54Speaker 4: like you don't want to have certain conversations, but it's
- 15:57Speaker 4: important to because anything can say you can say with
- 16:01Speaker 4: love you don't have not everything has to be a conflict.
- 16:04Speaker 4: And I think there's just so many better Now. I
- 16:07Speaker 4: spend a little bit too much time alone. Like now
- 16:09Speaker 4: my friends are like okay tonight, and I'm like, okay,
- 16:12Speaker 4: but I have to be.
- 16:13Speaker 3: On by nine.
- 16:15Speaker 4: Like I feel like I'm when I'm a whistler. I
- 16:17Speaker 4: feel like I'm camping. You know, I'm just like so cozy.
- 16:19Speaker 4: I just want to get into bed all the time.
- 16:21Speaker 4: But yeah, I think it's very important to be alone.
- 16:24Speaker 2: Amazing. So what do you get from writing books?
- 16:30Speaker 4: Like?
- 16:30Speaker 2: What are some of the biggest perks? Why do you
- 16:32Speaker 2: keep writing books? What is it? Why this book? Like,
- 16:35Speaker 2: what do you get from it? Well?
- 16:36Speaker 3: They're all different.
- 16:37Speaker 4: I mean I started writing books that were just funny essays,
- 16:39Speaker 4: and then my last book got more serious. I mean
- 16:42Speaker 4: it's still funny, but there's serious parts to it in
- 16:45Speaker 4: a serious through line. And then this book was very reflective,
- 16:49Speaker 4: and I think what I get out of it is
- 16:53Speaker 4: different at each With each book, I think this book, I'm.
- 16:56Speaker 3: Going to get a lot.
- 16:57Speaker 4: I think I'm hitting people at the right time with
- 16:59Speaker 4: what I want to say. And if I didn't have
- 17:02Speaker 4: anything to say, I wouldn't I wouldn't say anything.
- 17:05Speaker 3: Like now, at least I can.
- 17:06Speaker 4: Say that I wouldn't say anything at all because I
- 17:09Speaker 4: had this book. It was I got this book deal
- 17:11Speaker 4: when I was dating Joe Coy and I had this
- 17:13Speaker 4: very public love affair and everyone was just so happy
- 17:17Speaker 4: for us, and so this editor was like, we would
- 17:19Speaker 4: love for you, Chelsea Handler, to write a book about
- 17:21Speaker 4: falling in love, like it's very unexpected, it's very public facing.
- 17:25Speaker 3: And I was like, sure, no problem. But then we
- 17:28Speaker 3: broke up and I was like, oh, whoopsie doodle now.
- 17:31Speaker 3: And then I was like, Okay, well maybe I can.
- 17:33Speaker 4: Write a book about it breaking up because kind of
- 17:35Speaker 4: everything you and I have been talking about is stuff
- 17:38Speaker 4: that I was applying to that breakup like, I handled
- 17:41Speaker 4: it so well. I didn't yell or scream, there was
- 17:44Speaker 4: no art, you know. It was just like, this is
- 17:46Speaker 4: an adult decision. I have to choose me right now.
- 17:50Speaker 4: I didn't want to break up, but you're giving me
- 17:52Speaker 4: no choice, Like, I have to break up with you now,
- 17:54Speaker 4: and I'm going to be fine. Like all of the
- 17:56Speaker 4: things that we said earlier was that situation. I was
- 18:00Speaker 4: able to apply to that. But that book was was
- 18:02Speaker 4: based on me falling in love, and then it became oh, well,
- 18:06Speaker 4: why don't you write a book about breaking up, And
- 18:08Speaker 4: I was like, I don't really want to write a
- 18:09Speaker 4: book about breaking up.
- 18:10Speaker 3: That's not you know. And then as time went on,
- 18:13Speaker 3: I was like, that's a part of my story, but
- 18:16Speaker 3: that's not the story.
- 18:18Speaker 4: Like that relationship was going to be its own book.
- 18:20Speaker 4: That relationship turns out.
- 18:22Speaker 2: To be just a chapter. And by the way, I
- 18:24Speaker 2: feel like you handled out so tastefully, you know, you
- 18:27Speaker 2: were like, I'm not going to go into everything. Here's
- 18:29Speaker 2: what you the reader need to know, and like get
- 18:31Speaker 2: out of my business. Yeah, so that was new too. Yes,
- 18:37Speaker 2: you know boundaries. He's very important, right, Yeah.
- 18:41Speaker 4: I mean so for this book, the reasoning, like there
- 18:43Speaker 4: was all that hit, that kind of context to go
- 18:46Speaker 4: along with it. And then I think I feel sort
- 18:50Speaker 4: of responsible to women and want and want to give them, like,
- 18:54Speaker 4: you know, some hope and like some an injection of
- 19:00Speaker 4: you know, positivity, and like get after it, don't lose hope,
- 19:05Speaker 4: and like be good to yourself.
- 19:07Speaker 3: You know, let's all become the women that we want
- 19:09Speaker 3: to be.
- 19:09Speaker 2: I should know this. But have you given like a
- 19:11Speaker 2: commencement address yet at a college.
- 19:14Speaker 4: No?
- 19:14Speaker 2: I have not.
- 19:15Speaker 3: Oh, yes, well something like that. I think something like that.
- 19:17Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like that is in your future. That's
- 19:19Speaker 2: I'm just predicting that right now.
- 19:21Speaker 4: I love that.
- 19:23Speaker 3: That'll be my next phase.
- 19:25Speaker 2: It'll be your next phase. I love it. Do you
- 19:27Speaker 2: feel pressure to be funny all the time? Like what
- 19:30Speaker 2: if you don't feel funny? Like, do you feel like
- 19:32Speaker 2: you need to perform for people or do you can
- 19:35Speaker 2: you just like, No, I.
- 19:36Speaker 3: Don't ever more. I used to, I think, but I
- 19:39Speaker 3: don't anymore. I mean I don't perform.
- 19:42Speaker 4: No, I mean, I have a good time and I'm
- 19:45Speaker 4: I'm much quieter than I used to be in the
- 19:48Speaker 4: in the sense of, like, you know, partying and being
- 19:50Speaker 4: out with friends and stuff like that was allowed the
- 19:53Speaker 4: louder lifestyle than.
- 19:54Speaker 3: What I'm up to these days.
- 19:56Speaker 4: But yeah, I mean, I think it's just that you
- 20:01Speaker 4: just become more of who you are, right like, well,
- 20:04Speaker 4: they are leaning into who you are and you're not
- 20:07Speaker 4: apologizing for any of it. And that's kind of how
- 20:10Speaker 4: I feel and how I felt for quite some time
- 20:13Speaker 4: without understanding like the heft behind.
- 20:16Speaker 2: It got it amazing. So aside from being a commencement speaker,
- 20:21Speaker 2: what else do you think is going to be in
- 20:23Speaker 2: your future after this book? Do you have other plans,
- 20:26Speaker 2: other exciting adventures coming.
- 20:28Speaker 3: I have some plans, but I can't really announce anything yet.
- 20:30Speaker 4: All I can announce is that I have another Netflix
- 20:32Speaker 4: special coming out, a new Netflix special that comes out
- 20:35Speaker 4: on March twenty fifth, so that will be one month
- 20:37Speaker 4: after my book comes out. And yes, I have a
- 20:39Speaker 4: lot of stuff in the works, but nothing that I
- 20:41Speaker 4: can I'm going to do some different stuff this year.
- 20:44Speaker 4: I'm doing a European tour, which I haven't done in
- 20:47Speaker 4: many years, which I'm excited about.
- 20:48Speaker 2: But that's just like four weeks going.
- 20:50Speaker 4: All through Western Europe, and then I am going to
- 20:54Speaker 4: go I have my Vegas residency. I do Vegas once
- 20:57Speaker 4: a month, so I have that. But other than that,
- 21:00Speaker 4: I'm going to do stuff that I've never done before.
- 21:02Speaker 4: So I'm excited to share that, but I can't right now.
- 21:06Speaker 2: Okay, Well that's okay. We got like a little teaser
- 21:08Speaker 2: and that's exciting. My coffing, No, no to orry about it.
- 21:13Speaker 2: Do you find when you're just hanging out with friends
- 21:15Speaker 2: are you often giving advice or is it just at
- 21:18Speaker 2: certain points? Or is it because I feel like you
- 21:21Speaker 2: have a lot of advice to give and a lot
- 21:22Speaker 2: of insights to share, is it. Is it that kind
- 21:25Speaker 2: of dynamic with your friends.
- 21:26Speaker 4: Yes, a lot of them, it is, But a lot
- 21:28Speaker 4: of them it's just stupid, funny and silly, like we're
- 21:30Speaker 4: not really talking about anything serious. But I'm definitely somebody
- 21:33Speaker 4: who gives their opinion on things. And yes, I think
- 21:38Speaker 4: most people just need a little boost. Like my podcast
- 21:42Speaker 4: that I do is callers calling in for advice. So
- 21:45Speaker 4: that's that'sment speech right there.
- 21:47Speaker 2: That's true. Yeah, you could just excitt from that. Yeah,
- 21:49Speaker 2: I'll just take your transcripts and I'll just send one over.
- 21:51Speaker 2: You know, you can put it in chatcheett something. Have
- 21:54Speaker 2: it already. Yeah, I mean it's quite accurate. What something
- 21:58Speaker 2: that is a misconception about you? That's really irritating?
- 22:02Speaker 4: I really wouldn't know.
- 22:03Speaker 2: Okay, And what about advice for aspiring authors?
- 22:06Speaker 3: Oh, just to first of all, anyone can write a book.
- 22:09Speaker 3: We've shown that.
- 22:10Speaker 4: That's been demonstrated time and time again, So you can
- 22:13Speaker 4: definitely do it. It's a matter of actually sitting down
- 22:15Speaker 4: and doing it. And you have to write to write,
- 22:19Speaker 4: that's it. You have to sit down and write, and
- 22:21Speaker 4: then you're going to write more and then you're going
- 22:23Speaker 4: to write more and then you're going to have something,
- 22:26Speaker 4: and it's going to take a long time, and it's
- 22:28Speaker 4: going to be like but you're creating something, and that's
- 22:31Speaker 4: what creating something is. It's like two steps forward, three
- 22:34Speaker 4: steps back, and then success that you.
- 22:37Speaker 2: Also made that sound very easy, which is great everything.
- 22:40Speaker 2: It's like in the palm of my hand after this,
- 22:42Speaker 2: I love it, and just quickly like, what books are
- 22:46Speaker 2: you loving or favorite books of all time or books
- 22:49Speaker 2: that make you laugh, or any books to recommend?
- 22:51Speaker 3: I think, is it Circe or circ? I think Circe?
- 22:54Speaker 4: Right?
- 22:54Speaker 3: Is that The Great by Madeline Miller?
- 22:56Speaker 2: Is it Sirce circ? Yeah?
- 22:58Speaker 3: The House of Mirth is one of my favorite books ever.
- 23:00Speaker 3: I love that book.
- 23:01Speaker 4: Oh my god, it's so timeless. I read that book
- 23:04Speaker 4: by Kristin Hannah a few years ago.
- 23:06Speaker 3: The Great Alone. I gave that to have you read that?
- 23:09Speaker 3: I have?
- 23:10Speaker 4: Yes, Yeah, that's like a subject matter I have absolutely
- 23:13Speaker 4: zero interest in on multiple levels. But I was turning
- 23:16Speaker 4: every single page like, oh my god, what is going
- 23:18Speaker 4: to happen next?
- 23:19Speaker 2: I don't know? The grade alone? That seems like it
- 23:21Speaker 2: could be a subtitle for part of some of the
- 23:23Speaker 2: chapters of your book.
- 23:24Speaker 3: Well, yeah, exactly, that would be the title. And uh,
- 23:29Speaker 3: what else have I read that has like blown me away?
- 23:32Speaker 4: I'm pretty impressed with Matthew McConaughey's book Green Lights.
- 23:36Speaker 2: Yep.
- 23:37Speaker 3: I was like, oh wow, this guy's pretty deep, you know.
- 23:41Speaker 3: So I remember reading that a couple of years ago.
- 23:43Speaker 3: I was having him on my podcast, so I read
- 23:45Speaker 3: it in like twenty four hours and that was great.
- 23:48Speaker 4: Yeah, but right now I'm reading something called The Other Einstein,
- 23:52Speaker 4: which is about Einstein's wife, but it's a fiction, so
- 23:55Speaker 4: who knows.
- 23:56Speaker 2: Very cool. Yeah. I had Matthew mcconaughean on the five
- 24:00Speaker 2: and I spent like a couple of weeks in summer
- 24:02Speaker 2: listening to the audiobook anytime I drove my kids to camp,
- 24:04Speaker 2: and I was like, well, this makes this really pleasant. Yeah,
- 24:09Speaker 2: having the voice anyway. Okay, well, Chelsea, thank you so
- 24:12Speaker 2: much for coming on and all of your advice and
- 24:15Speaker 2: the way you're advocating for other women is really really
- 24:18Speaker 2: amazing and much needed. So thank you for that. And
- 24:22Speaker 2: you know, the advice to be yourself it's pretty awesome.
- 24:25Speaker 3: Oh awesome, Thank you so much. It was so nice
- 24:27Speaker 3: to meet you.
- 24:28Speaker 2: Nice to meet you too. Okay, take care, byebye. Thank
- 24:31Speaker 2: you for listening to Totally Booked with Zibby. Formerly moms
- 24:35Speaker 2: don't have time to read books. If you loved the show,
- 24:38Speaker 2: tell a friend, leave a review, follow me on Instagram
- 24:41Speaker 2: at Zibby Owen's and spread the word. Thanks so much. Oh,
- 24:45Speaker 2: and buy the books.