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Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just: The Three Keys to Divine Decision Making 1.14.26 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

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  But you're telling us I didn't make a decision.
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  Three points. 1 You think about your goal is to make naha
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  through a Hashem, to bring some Haas, so to speak, to Hashem, to
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  give Hashem naha. That's goal #1 before you make a
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  decision #2 you analyze both sides cruelly.
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  In My Anna Massaf, you look at the ashes and #3 you throw it
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  onto Hashem, which means you make a decision, unless I shame
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  to the rest, do not believe that you are guiding the decision the
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  whole way through and you're going to guide the outcome
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  because you all know how you've seen a million had times the
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  factors that come out after you make a decision were completely
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  not part of the plan, but they work out.
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  So who did that? Sometimes you see people do the
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  things and you look and you look in hindsight almost looks like
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  they planned it. It seemed to be so it worked out
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  so well. It like a conspiracy theory is
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  part of the you know what makes conspiracy theories.
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  What happens is they look at an outcome and they see the T
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  leaves are led to the outcome and they work backward and they
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  say someone must have been planning that that led to that
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  left to that. They worked out so well.
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  What they don't realize is he made a decision.
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  He did it. Lucky him with the alphabet
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  Shannon. It worked out and it seems to be
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  like he he planned it perfectly. If he didn't really plan it
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  perfectly as literally a conspiracy theories works
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  backwards, right. I'll give you a couple examples.
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  Creation kids three years will say I'm not telling you if
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  they're real or not real. He'd say, you know, Trump got
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  shot, worked out very well, made him at the hero he became
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  president. No, they work backward and they
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  say he must have staged it to it all.
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  You know, it never happened. That was SketchUp all the
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  sketches, right? Because if it works out, you see
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  the next step. You work backward and assume
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  that's what they planned and they're all that's that's a
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  massive 1. It's a global one, but there are
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  many, many ones that are much smaller in people's lives and
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  what they really are. So what's something happened?
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  Hashem got involved. That's how it works.
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  So saying the issue should be true in your decisions, you make
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  a decision. Hashem takes it further.
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  Shazio Marbo on 4/17. Hasheda Adam Oslovak.
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  Praiseworthy is the person whose strength is trust in Hashem is
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  in you, turns to Hashem loim, not to vahim Butami.
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  Hashem does not hold back for those who follow him honestly
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  with faith Omra. However, if you lucky, one of
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  the three conditions, which means he didn't think about God
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  before he made a decision. He made a decision for other
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  reasons or he didn't really weigh the odds.
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  He just say he he he just said I believe I'm all in.
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  But you have to think about it like when do we say someone does
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  something that's not good? Fairpoint, that's not a
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  decision, right? That's a very good point.
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  We have a rule. We talk Shulala Shma, abolishma.
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  If you learn for some other reason, all right, you learn
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  because you think it's going to bring you better hard to make
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  money and then you start liking to learn.
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  You remain learning. That's slower Shma to start
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  eventually becomes the Shma. We're out the right motivation
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  originally, but eventually becomes the right motivation.
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  That's great. That's what we do.
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  They was asking so I thought you thinking about you're not
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  thinking about a show in the beginning higher than to make
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  that decision and actually expect as we're saying now it's
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  going to work out if you need to have planned.
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  I sent from the beginning. The simple answer is learning is
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  not a decision. Having learning in life is not a
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  debate right. Going to pray and sure generally
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  is not a debate. Sure, there are times when you
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  should debate. You have a debate.
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  Do I go do I not go It's snowing outside and it's dangerous.
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  I might slip whatever it may be. You have debate sometimes in
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  life, but in general, overall, should I learn to try now?
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  Learn not a debate. You do it and then you say
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  shalalishma bhalishma, right? Same thing with Tefila.
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  But when you have a debate, you need these three steps and they
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  are thinking about Hashem, analyzing two sides and then
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  jumping in and relying on God. If you're missing one of the
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  three, he will not reach the Basel outcome.
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  If someone makes a major decision, this is extremely
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  powerful and unbelievably important.
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  And if someone makes amazing decision and doesn't think about
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  Hashem for making that decision, you know, losing the capability
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  or the guarantee of having Hashem carrier through.
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  Which means if I put my kids in a certain school and only reason
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  I did so is because I'm extremely insulted by the
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  principal of the first school. So I took my kids out and I put
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  them in another school. Not for education purposes, not
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  for friend purposes, not for potential purposes, not even for
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  for for, I don't know, some other reason.
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  Simply because I'll upset somebody has a decision that
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  doesn't relate to Hashem at all, and that decision is losing out.
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  Bad decision. Well, maybe you could say I'm
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  not really losing out March because the other schools are
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  fine. By the end of the day, you're
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  losing out on the because you don't have the 2 original keys
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  to carry the third key. Anything you need to do now,
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  many, many people make decisions and they claim it's Farshim.
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  There are 1,000,000 net decisions that we make and we
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  all rationalize it's Farshim. There's not much you can do
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  about that, right? If you're going to decide I want
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  to go on a trip, I want to rent a certain house, why you doing
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  it, really? You like the house?
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  You say it's because I want to be near a shoe, right?
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  Or you say I need the piece of mind, I need my kid to be there
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  so that, you know, get married fast and stuff like that.
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  It really is just because you're embarrassed to not rent that
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  house. I don't know if you call that
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  for Hashem or not, but at least sketch yourself.
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  You may not call for Hashem originally.
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  At least tell yourself mind. You might as well say this, I'm
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  doing it for Hashem's sake and come up with Hashem positives.
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  I'm doing it for the shul, I'm doing it for my kids.
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  I'm doing it for Shalom bite. You know, the cute everything
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  Shalom bite, whatever. Maybe come up with your excuse.
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  At least throw Hashem into the mix maybe, because maybe your
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  mind will be going there and your, your sides, your two
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  sides, your debate will be related to Hashem.
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  You'll keep that in mind. Even if it wasn't the original
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  purpose, it still can be turned into a current goal.
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  And you'll still have to see a tardish mayor based on this.
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  Hey, this is the idea all right? Otherwise, if the president
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  missing this, he will not reach the promise Vekar Ovo le casche
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  le villipo and he's more likely to make a mistake and fault Dino
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  in OEMA cabana lothia muhina visaka.
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  If his intention is not pure or amita shellman ayun or even if
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  his intention is beautiful and pure, but he's lazy.
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  Tara, what is A2 side by Marshall Lion?
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  He doesn't look at the two sides regarding, you know, the areas
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  that he can't identify before. So, for example, he chose he
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  wants to something learn. So you put this on and yeshiva,
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  but he doesn't look at the factors.
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  He doesn't care about the teacher.
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  He doesn't care about the friends.
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  He just says learn learn, learn. No good right?
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  He's thinking about a shot but he's not lies.
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  In fact the opposite. He's pulled into that school
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  because everyone there has money and it was considered a highline
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  school. Once he's pulled in he started
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  thinking about is the good learning is the other good
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  friends. But the original poll was no
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  good. Also fall on its face face.
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  He needs to have a good pull and then good analysis 1-2 punch and
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  then you have the better carvation or in my heart, Cause
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  and Lloyd Levitonovicono. Or how about if he becomes
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  overly controlling? He has Cavanaugh.
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  He wants his son to learn. He analyzes the two sides looks
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  into the rabbi. He looks into the friends looks
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  into the crew. He looks into everything, but he
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  doesn't say at the end of the day, I did my due diligence.
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  I shall I'm trying to do the right thing.
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  You take over to do that. He holds the reins the whole way
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  through. He's extremely obsessive.
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  He's controlling, he's calling the school off the hook.
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  He's analyzing every detail. Once he made a decision, he's
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  not letting go at all. That is lacking in Trivia St.
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  You won't have Hashem's help. He's not leaving any room for
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  Hashem. There's no put a car there.
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  What do you mean he's doing a fire sham?
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  No, he's not. He's doing a fire sham, but he's
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  liking me. That's weird.
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  That's, that's that's vague. That's not what you need.
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  You need to do it for Hashem and then let Hashem to step in.
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  Do you need the 1-2 and then three punch?
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  And you need to be involved in all three steps, involved in
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  committing to Hashem, involved in idolizing the sides, and then
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  involved in stepping back and saying Hashem.
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  You take over from here, literally.
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  In that case, the guy could want his son to become a ghador, and
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  it could be, you know, that's his motivation and he can
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  analyze both sides. But if he's too controlling,
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  there's no place by Hashem. And I've seen it.
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  I'm sure you've seen it too. People who are well-intentioned,
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  who did their analysis, they keep up that control the whole
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  way through and find out. And not seeing better, huh?
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  Why they're not seeing better, huh?
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  Because they're not realizing. It's Hashem's process, let him
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  take over. You want to do it for God's
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  reason, Great, let him take over eventually.
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  And there are people who control those, whatever you call those
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  moms or those people who control the whole way through and they
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  don't let up one iota. What do they find?
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  They find, first of all, their life is a mess because they're
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  so obsessive and they can't handle anything going wrong.
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  We've seen it, it happens, it said.
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  Secondly, what they also find is they don't see that they chosen
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  to develop like their name is child and they can't understand
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  why to had a good attention. I did my due diligence why and
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  seriously, you didn't give out shemony room.
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  That's what I was shaman to the picture.
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  It's necessary. So you have a person who is
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  thinking about the right thing, is highly motivated for the
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  right thing, but he needs to let go.
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  You need to start off highly motivated and then let go.
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  It's a very difficult task to have.
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  Some people are never involved. They just they send their kids
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  to the school that they went to that their parents went to.
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  They're not involved. That person out luck.
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  They need gun and they go OK, nothing.
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  It's grace at all. They may not have.
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  Some people are motivated, they are analyzed.
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  They just say we got to go, we got to go into that school when
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  you learning also no good. Some people are check box A and
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  box B, but they can't let go. They don't involve Hashem, no
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  beat the horn, also no good. The beautiful perspective is you
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  analyze, you choose a path, you analyze both sides, you make a
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  decision, you echo. Like I said, why is it so
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  difficult? Because it's a contradiction of
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  wiring. You start off being extremely
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  motivated and you imagine you need to let go.
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  It's unbelievably hard thing to do, but that's the kind that
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  proves you're in it with Hashem. You did it for his reason that
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  you're letting him Hashem take over.
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  That's the kind all right, because she'll lose Shelly Full.
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  It's hard for this person, and now it's full.
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  If he doesn't check all three boxes, however, he repeats
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  himself. Ish sojdam ishmol karui.
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  If these three areas you watch very well.
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  TE muta marcheva the purity of intention iyun analysis of the
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  site Obitronor obitajon entrusting in Hashem AZ yelleh
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  betak permit vilo ye nella. He can then proceed with
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  complete confidence and no evil will be fallen.
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  He put his skin to the right school for the right reason.
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  He did his analysis. He knows what's going on.
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  He steps back, doesn't become extremely obsessive.
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  Trust God is taking over and the kid will become it's full, his
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  full potential. That's how far it goes.
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  Hua davajan brahana benavuata raglen hasidab ishmor.
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  The feet of those who are the pious of Hashem are guarded by
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  God. With Avi Kumar Veloyazov ET
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  hasidablo Alamnishmaro. Hashem will never let go of this
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  Hasidam and only be protected. It's such a difficult thing to
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  analyze and to get clear, but it's so imperative in our lives.
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  You face such decisions all day long and you try and we fall
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  This are the these are the three big keys again, but the key now
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  is how do you know what Hashem wants?
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  Very nice you're doing if Hashem say how in the world you know
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  what Hashem wants, right? You gave me your example.
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  We're not going to record this example, but it's a good
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  question. Personal also know they should
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  go to a certain site, a certain place.
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  We'll say yes, I'm Boo, so no, I want to be close to Hashem.
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  But some people say yes, I'm Boo, so no.
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  What do you do have to figure out?
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  Like I said, is it a tourist attraction or is it an
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  unbelievably strong desire to get there?
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  And if it's a terrorist attraction, I can name you a
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  million terrorist attractions. I know this one's one of the
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  coolest ones in the world. Or do you want to start trouble?
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  Exactly right. But if that's your goal,
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  terrorist attraction might as well dip out because why get a
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  violence in the crazy? OK, it's a good it's a good
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  question. Like I'll ask you a border
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  question and ask you a border question.
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  Someone wants to know this should go to Israel.
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  Border question and won't go to Israel, but yeah, but there's
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  always potential of things happening, wars and things
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  breaking out. All right, what's the answer?
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  Answer is you want to go over the right reason.
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  I want to bring your kids here. I want to bring your family
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  there. And I like you weigh the odds.
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  You can look at the timing as much as you can.
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  You can't perfect timing. You never know what's going to
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  come. You do it.
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  I said with you, That's all right.
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  That's analysis. Like I said, you want to know
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  what shoe to jury where to send your kids to school.
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  Should you what should you learn?
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  All right, should you get involved in the Hessel
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  organization? Should you step into a fight?
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  There's a fight going on. Should you step in?
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  What do you say this? Should you step into a fire or
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  not? Hey, why?
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  I I actually did a month ago, almost got killed here.
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  I do all the time. I do all the time.
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  Should I step in? Have your wife or something with
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  her sister-in-law? Oh, that absolutely not.
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  You can help Now. These, those two people fighting
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  on the street. Are you broke?
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  No. Yeah, that that's what I'm
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  talking about. That's the ones that you can
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  punch with the little baby, you know.
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  Yeah, it's not the question. First, why are you stepping in?
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  Is it because you like the action or because you hope with
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  Shalom? You hope for Shalom Part 1.
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  You know, you can make a difference.
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  You would analyze Part 2 and then you jump in, you say I have
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  some, Please help me. Please don't make this more
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  difficult. Please don't make this more
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  fighting and said the opposite. That's jumping into a fight,
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  right? If you know how many rabbis have
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  had the biggest debate in their lives, which is should they get
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  involved in community affairs or should they not?
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  Biggest debate. They're back and forth and back
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  and forth. And so many of them have said,
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  no, it's not for me. I want to learn.
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  And then eventually they get involved.
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  I don't know if it's Jamaica Ocon seen who debated coming to
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  America or if it's right they I believe he did he he didn't want
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  to come back a lot to get in my room Yep or but I don't have
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  money. I mean, you know, more more
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  reason rather a full humanitarian would debate a guy
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  up to ready to leave or if it's I'm sure Khan about yeah, this
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  is a similar debate and I'm sure here for a fact Shah or some of
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  the debate and about Yashi. So that's how they all had these
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  debates and they all went back and forth and the question of
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  all them was them so many others.
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  Also he's the ones I know in Christ.
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  What should I do? What should I learn?
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  And most of them, the Hasanish, most of them remained no name
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  till what age I'm my 30s, right, late 30s.
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  These people, they became something whatever they might
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  take to the leadership roles. 60s they first started their job
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  at 60, right? Which means up until that point
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  they were sitting and learning nothing doing.
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  They were up shocked with the others.
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  Many of the other ones 60s alright, they're in Castle and
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  much earlier. But the point is that they all
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  have this debate. Do I get involved or not get
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  involved? And they had to.
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  They were leaders. They became news, they were bomb
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  reduced. They were born learners.
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  They probably were born with the with the wisdom and the advice,
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  but they weren't giving speeches.
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  They weren't running in Cajal, they weren't running in school.
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  And were there these things. They weren't moving out of town
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  to run the community. They went through any of those
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  things and somewhere on the line they got to push or someone told
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  them whatever it is they picked up, they started.
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  And usually the people who are the best at this, my humble
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  opinion, are those in such scenarios.
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  You know why? Because the whole time a part of
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  them says I don't want to be here, a part of them says I'm
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  not doing this for the cavort. Eventually it can get to
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  anybody. But a part of them says I still
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  have the wish that I can see and learn somewhere privately,
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  Incarnita, because they spent so long and they're like doing it.
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  They rather not do it. And you know, if you do it, you
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  don't want to do it. You're just doing it for Hashan.
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  Beautiful. But if there's the motivation,
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  like we said yesterday and the other day, if there's a cavort
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  aspect and no, I wish I could run this and I wish I could run
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  that and do those things, that's when I get the the war is
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  getting murky and you have to still keep the original cover
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  out difficult and then make the analysis difficult still because
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  you your mind is tricking you. But our point it's you need the
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  original intent. Then you choose two sides and
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  you make him move. You rely on ocean and you go for
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  start with this.