Latest / The Breakfast Club / DONKEY: Shoplifter Caught On Camera Stealing 30" Dildo In West Hollywood
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Just don't be a dusky because right now you want
- 0:04Speaker 1: it's time for dunkey of the day. So if we
- 0:07Speaker 1: ever feel I need to be a done, I had
- 0:13Speaker 1: become donkey of the day. Practice bitch, yes, dunk here
- 0:20Speaker 1: today for Wednesday, February, first first day of Black History Month,
- 0:23Speaker 1: goes to a young man whose name has not been released.
- 0:26Speaker 1: And that's honestly for the best, well at least for him,
- 0:29Speaker 1: because this guy did something that will be pinned on
- 0:31Speaker 1: him forever if we ever find his name. I want
- 0:35Speaker 1: to first say this is a public service announcement, you know,
- 0:38Speaker 1: a call to action if you will, we have to
- 0:40Speaker 1: find this individual because he is indeed a shoplifter. Don't
- 0:43Speaker 1: know if he's a bitual offender. But as we learn
- 0:46Speaker 1: from the Amazing Spider Man, if you don't stop someone
- 0:49Speaker 1: after they commit what you think is a petty crime,
- 0:51Speaker 1: they will go on to do something even more diabolical.
- 0:55Speaker 1: In some cases, Rest in peace to Uncle Ben. Okay,
- 0:58Speaker 1: if Peter Parker could have just gotten out of his
- 1:00Speaker 1: feelings and stop that robber after he robbed the wrestling promoter,
- 1:03Speaker 1: Uncle Ben would still be alive today. But we learned
- 1:07Speaker 1: from that situation that with great power comes in West Hollywood.
- 1:10Speaker 1: Salute the Circus of books. Truffle on the clue's bombs
- 1:12Speaker 1: for Circus of books. I want justice for you all.
- 1:16Speaker 1: This case is not getting the news coverage it deserves.
- 1:18Speaker 1: I saw TMZ coverage. I saw the surveillance footage on
- 1:22Speaker 1: TMZ Actlee, and the surveillance footage shows a grown man
- 1:26Speaker 1: walking into this famed adult sex store and attempting to
- 1:29Speaker 1: steal a Dialdo now listen. I see how you perked
- 1:33Speaker 1: up veryby not listen. I know times are heart Okay,
- 1:37Speaker 1: people are desperate, all right, Folks are doing what they
- 1:39Speaker 1: need to do to survive. I don't know what this
- 1:41Speaker 1: man's situation is at home. Maybe he suffers from a
- 1:44Speaker 1: rectile dysfunction and he's looking for ways to please this woman.
- 1:46Speaker 1: Maybe he's in the closet and scared to go out
- 1:48Speaker 1: here and get the real things, but he needs a
- 1:50Speaker 1: little something something for himself. I don't know this man's situation.
- 1:54Speaker 1: I just know this man attempted to do a five
- 1:56Speaker 1: fingered discount on a dildough. Who are we to judge? Okay, now,
- 2:01Speaker 1: what is the reason this man is getting dunky? It
- 2:03Speaker 1: ain't in Uncle Charlot Hunt. Well, we all know dial
- 2:05Speaker 1: does come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. If you
- 2:08Speaker 1: was to attempt to shoplift the deal though, you probably
- 2:10Speaker 1: want to get something between five and seven inches. Envy,
- 2:13Speaker 1: you've been rumored to like nine and a half. That's
- 2:15Speaker 1: big boy status though, right. But the thing about those
- 2:18Speaker 1: deal doughs, you could probably get that off before it
- 2:21Speaker 1: gets you off. If you take something that size, right,
- 2:24Speaker 1: you can get that out of the store easily. The
- 2:26Speaker 1: problem with this guy, and the reason he's getting dunky
- 2:29Speaker 1: of today, is this man attempted to shoplift a thirty
- 2:33Speaker 1: inch deal dough. I'm not making this up. Go to TMZ.
- 2:36Speaker 1: Look at the surveillance with it. It It wasn't just it
- 2:38Speaker 1: wasn't just thirty inches as it was thirty point seven
- 2:41Speaker 1: inches in length. It was about two feet wide and
- 2:44Speaker 1: eleven inches at the base. Looked like it weighed about
- 2:46Speaker 1: it between thirty and forty pounds. It was huge. There's
- 2:49Speaker 1: only two animals alive that got something bigger than that. Okay,
- 2:53Speaker 1: trust me, I googled all right on this computer you
- 2:55Speaker 1: will see animals with the biggest penis is. I researched
- 2:58Speaker 1: it this morning. The biggest penis in the animal came
- 2:59Speaker 1: to is a blue whale penis. That penis could be
- 3:02Speaker 1: between eight to ten feet long. If you're wondering what
- 3:05Speaker 1: land animal, it's the elephant six feet long. So just
- 3:08Speaker 1: think of that, and then think of this thirty inch
- 3:10Speaker 1: deal though two feet wide elevetages at the base, and
- 3:13Speaker 1: think about how crazy this guy looks trying to shoplift
- 3:15Speaker 1: this out of circus of books in West Hollywood. It
- 3:18Speaker 1: also retails for seven hundred dollars. Okay, I just want
- 3:21Speaker 1: to know who are what this was for? Okay if
- 3:24Speaker 1: this man dating she Hulk, are her cousin, Bruce Banner.
- 3:27Speaker 1: Now you got to go watch the video because the
- 3:30Speaker 1: cashier actually goes after this man. I mean, as soon
- 3:32Speaker 1: as they noticed the penis high schooling down, the cashier
- 3:35Speaker 1: goes after him, and then the video cuts back to
- 3:37Speaker 1: the cashier carrying the thirty inch deal though on his shoulder. Okay,
- 3:42Speaker 1: now this shoplifter took the expression go big or go
- 3:46Speaker 1: home way too literal. But we have to find this man, Okay.
- 3:49Speaker 1: We cannot have this man running up from sex doors
- 3:52Speaker 1: stealing sex toys. Okay, So if you know who this
- 3:54Speaker 1: man is, please contact slong Swiper dot com. All right,
- 3:57Speaker 1: and in the meantime, just give him the sweet sounds
- 4:00Speaker 1: and the Hamletones. Oh, now you are the do gee
- 4:06Speaker 1: of the day, the do gee oh the day. Ye
- 4:18Speaker 1: times a hard out here, guys and gals. Yeah, you
- 4:22Speaker 1: don't play a game hard, no puny tip, all right,
- 4:25Speaker 1: had to go ahead, you game. I guess we could
- 4:30Speaker 1: play a game. Let's play a game of guess what
- 4:33Speaker 1: race is? All right? All right, this young Manwood he
- 4:38Speaker 1: stole a thirty inch deal though thirty inches in length,
- 4:41Speaker 1: two feet wide, eleven inches at the base. Um, and
- 4:44Speaker 1: I want to note that it was a white don't
- 4:47Speaker 1: count there was a white deal though, you know what
- 4:48Speaker 1: I mean? Okay, but guess what race is? Definitely think
- 4:54Speaker 1: he's white? Am I? Right? Hold on? Hold on, I'll
- 5:01Speaker 1: tell you about the deal though, band in a second, Yes,
- 5:04Speaker 1: give us the clues. Thirty point seven is deal though
- 5:06Speaker 1: in length two feet wide, eleven inches at the base.
- 5:09Speaker 1: Looked like it weighed about thirty to forty pounds. Tried
- 5:11Speaker 1: to steal it from West Hollywood. Guess what race it is? Black?
- 5:17Speaker 1: Whoa damn? Why would you ever say such? Because if
- 5:22Speaker 1: he's in a store, and they're watching him already he's black.
- 5:26Speaker 1: Whoa kind of hard not to watch a guy walking
- 5:31Speaker 1: with a big deal doing his shoulder and this is
- 5:34Speaker 1: a little different. They had to be walking, yeah, they
- 5:36Speaker 1: had to be look looking at him. And he's in
- 5:37Speaker 1: the store. He's having the black people when they in store,
- 5:39Speaker 1: they're gonna follow you. You know, you gotta be strong
- 5:41Speaker 1: enough to carry that deal though out. So I'm going black.
- 5:45Speaker 1: You know you didn't just call all white men weak terrible.
- 5:50Speaker 1: Damn we shoulder, right, we shoulder. White man's talk shoulder
- 5:54Speaker 1: whites NB. Your wrong. Evan is white right? White Westwood
- 6:06Speaker 1: surveillance video. It is hilarious. All right, all right, well,
- 6:11Speaker 1: thank you for that. Donkey of the day. Yes, Donkey
- 6:14Speaker 1: to Day is brought to you by the law office
- 6:16Speaker 1: of Michael s Lam and Sauf. Don't be a donkey.
- 6:18Speaker 1: Dive pound two fifty on your cell and say the bull.
- 6:21Speaker 1: If you've been hurting a construction accident, that's pound two
- 6:23Speaker 1: five bold from your cell and say the bull.