Latest / We! / I Feel Scared and Excited Because I Thought Healing Myself Was the Goal—Now I Realize Healing the World Is — The Personal and Spiritual Awakening That Helped Me Discover What My Higher Power Wants Me to Do with the Rest of My Life

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I Feel Scared and Excited Because I Thought Healing Myself Was the Goal—Now I Realize Healing the World Is — The Personal and Spiritual Awakening That Helped Me Discover What My Higher Power Wants Me to Do with the Rest of My Life · We!

0:01
SPEAKER_00: If you felt lonely, isolated, disconnected, with an empty feeling inside and just yearning for more, knowing something is missing, then this podcast is for you.
0:16
SPEAKER_00: So here's your host, Joe Mittigan.
0:28
SPEAKER_01: Hello and welcome to We.
0:32
SPEAKER_01: For a long time, I thought healing myself was the goal.
0:37
SPEAKER_01: I thought if I could understand the wounds of my past, learn why I felt the way I felt, forgive the people who hurt me, let go of fear, and finally find some peace within myself, then maybe I would have figured life out.
0:55
SPEAKER_01: And I needed that healing.
0:57
SPEAKER_01: Because when I was hurting, I wasn't thinking about my purpose.
1:02
SPEAKER_01: I was thinking about getting through the day.
1:05
SPEAKER_01: I was trying to understand why I felt anxious, why I always felt overwhelmed, why I couldn't let go, why I was afraid, why certain relationships hurt so much, why I kept carrying things from my past, even though I desperately wanted to move forward.
1:24
SPEAKER_01: I spent a lot of my life asking those questions.
1:27
SPEAKER_01: And for many years, fear played a much bigger role in my life than I really realized.
1:34
SPEAKER_01: I was afraid of change.
1:36
SPEAKER_01: I was afraid of losing people.
2:02
SPEAKER_01: The things that once scared me began teaching me.
2:07
SPEAKER_01: The experiences that once hurt me began giving me wisdom.
2:14
SPEAKER_01: And the life I once wished had been very different began helping me understand the person I was becoming.
2:24
SPEAKER_01: That's when I started asking a different question.
2:28
SPEAKER_01: What if healing myself was never the final goal?
2:33
SPEAKER_01: What if everything I'd gone through was preparing me for something else?
2:38
SPEAKER_01: That realization brought a different feeling into my life.
2:44
SPEAKER_01: There was still uncertainty, of course, about what was ahead.
2:49
SPEAKER_01: But there was also excitement.
2:52
SPEAKER_01: I began to wonder if everything I had experienced, the pain, the fear, the mistakes, the relationships, the loss, the forgiveness, the surrender, and even the moments when I didn't think I could keep going forward, had been teaching me something I would eventually need.
3:13
SPEAKER_01: Maybe my experiences weren't only helping me understand myself, maybe they were teaching me how to understand other people.
3:24
SPEAKER_01: I spent years asking my higher power to help me heal.
3:29
SPEAKER_01: And now I find myself asking, what do you want me to do with the healing you've given me?
3:37
SPEAKER_01: What am I supposed to do with everything I've learned?
3:41
SPEAKER_01: What am I supposed to do with the person I'm becoming?
3:46
SPEAKER_01: And what am I supposed to do with the rest of my life?
3:50
SPEAKER_01: Now I don't pretend to have all those answers.
3:53
SPEAKER_01: And maybe I don't need to, because I'm beginning to understand that purpose doesn't always arrive as some enormous revelation.
4:05
SPEAKER_01: Sometimes purpose begins with simply becoming willing to use what we've learned to help someone else.
4:13
SPEAKER_01: What if our pain eventually becomes wisdom?
4:17
SPEAKER_01: What if our wounds teach us compassion?
4:20
SPEAKER_01: What if our mistakes teach us understanding?
4:25
SPEAKER_01: What if the experiences we once wished had never happened become the very experiences that allow us to sit beside another human being and say, I understand.
4:39
SPEAKER_01: I've been there too.
4:41
SPEAKER_01: Maybe that's the reason we're here.
4:45
SPEAKER_01: Not because we have to save the world, not because we have to become famous or build something enormous or have all the answers.
4:54
SPEAKER_01: Maybe healing the world happens much more simple than that.
5:00
SPEAKER_01: Maybe it happens when one person becomes a little more loving, a little more forgiving, a little less afraid, a little more willing to listen, a little more willing to help.
5:14
SPEAKER_01: And then that person touches another person's life.
5:19
SPEAKER_01: And that person touches someone else's.
5:22
SPEAKER_01: Maybe that's how the world changes.
5:25
SPEAKER_01: One healed heart, helping another heart heal.
5:30
SPEAKER_01: So today, I'm not going to tell you that I know exactly what my higher power wants me to do with the rest of my life because I don't.
5:38
SPEAKER_01: But today, I'm no longer asking that question from a place of fear.
5:44
SPEAKER_01: I'm asking it from a place of curiosity.
5:47
SPEAKER_01: I'm asking it with gratitude.
5:50
SPEAKER_01: I'm asking it with excitement about what might still be possible.
5:55
SPEAKER_01: Maybe healing myself was never the destination.
5:59
SPEAKER_01: Maybe it was teaching me how to love.
6:03
SPEAKER_01: Maybe the more we learn to love ourselves and one another, the more we begin to understand something I've become to believe very deeply that healing doesn't happen alone.
6:19
SPEAKER_01: It happens when we remember the we.
6:23
SPEAKER_01: My name is Joe Mittigga, and this is we.
6:28
SPEAKER_01: I want to welcome everybody here today, and it's a beautiful night here in Atlanta, Georgia.
6:36
SPEAKER_01: And I have to tell you, typically when I'm preparing for podcasts like this, I have about five or six sentences I write down.
6:47
SPEAKER_01: And I jump on here and I just let her rip.
6:51
SPEAKER_01: Well, tonight, it's a different topic.
6:54
SPEAKER_01: And I'm gonna, it's taken me a while this time, I have to tell you.
6:58
SPEAKER_01: I've been asking for a lot of strength and a lot of courage.
7:01
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna talk about a very fragile but very important topic tonight, and it's the topic of abuse.
7:08
SPEAKER_01: It's the topic of sexual abuse, because we are the generation of change.
7:14
SPEAKER_01: And I'm gonna point out and I'm gonna help, and I'm gonna share from my experience, strength, and hope about myself as I always do, about my addictions of the past, of the voices that were used to just be relentless in my head, and how I healed.
7:31
SPEAKER_01: And I'm gonna always say, if I can, you can, and I'm gonna show you exactly why, and I'm gonna tell you exactly what I did, because there are certain levels of abuse, there are certain levels of humanity crucifying itself that have to stop.
7:52
SPEAKER_01: And I will say I've got a lot of data and information.
7:56
SPEAKER_01: There's big waves of this exact topic, sexual abuse, healing, truly.
8:04
SPEAKER_01: And I'm gonna share some stuff about that.
8:06
SPEAKER_01: And I always say that if I can, you can, and this really fits here.
8:13
SPEAKER_01: And as always, welcome to all the new people.
8:17
SPEAKER_01: I want you to know I'm just a guy.
8:20
SPEAKER_01: I'm not a teacher, I'm not a preacher, I'm certainly not a therapist.
8:24
SPEAKER_01: I'm a guy, I'm a guy that cusses too much.
8:26
SPEAKER_01: I'll tell you that straight up.
8:28
SPEAKER_01: But I am excited to say that Apple Podcast took that little squiggly mark off my podcast.
8:34
SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna do everything I can not to swear, not to cuss.
8:38
SPEAKER_01: I bleep it out myself because you know I want this to be a family programming.
8:44
SPEAKER_01: And this particular topic, there are some spots in here where I'm gonna have to catch myself because I have no tolerance for abuse.
8:53
SPEAKER_01: I have no tolerance for taking anger out on each other.
8:56
SPEAKER_01: I have no tolerance for any of that type of emotional abuse.
9:01
SPEAKER_01: So you add a hundred times my disdain for sexual abuse, that's what I have to say about it.
9:10
SPEAKER_01: And I'm gonna, I'm gonna give some answers, I'm gonna give some solutions, and I'm gonna share with you some stories.
9:18
SPEAKER_01: I was up where I grew up over the past couple weekends ago to a funeral of an aunt of mine, an elder aunt, and I met a man whose father was a pedophile.
9:32
SPEAKER_01: And I heard the father story, and I'm gonna share that story later.
9:39
SPEAKER_01: And what you're gonna hear from me is stories about how abusers become abused, how abusers are always been abused, and then they take that abuse out on others.
9:58
SPEAKER_01: Does it justify it?
10:00
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely not.
10:04
SPEAKER_01: I don't care how badly you were abused, does not give you the right to take your stuff out on another human, period.
10:18
SPEAKER_01: People say, oh, it's sexual addiction, they're powerless to it.
10:22
SPEAKER_01: That's a load, that's an absolute, complete, and utter falsehood.
10:30
SPEAKER_01: And I'm gonna share some stories of people I've helped over the years to just prove that to be the case.
10:37
SPEAKER_01: So buckle up, folks.
10:39
SPEAKER_01: This is gonna be one of those deep and dark discussions today.
10:42
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna bring some hope at the end.
10:44
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna share a bunch of glory.
10:47
SPEAKER_01: And, you know, we're all adults here, and this is a real life thing.
10:51
SPEAKER_01: This is a real live global challenge that I see solutions happening already.
10:57
SPEAKER_01: I really do.
10:58
SPEAKER_01: And I want to welcome people.
11:00
SPEAKER_01: You know, I just I talk about it all the time.
11:03
SPEAKER_01: Humanity's waking up.
11:04
SPEAKER_01: We're the generation of change.
11:06
SPEAKER_01: We are we, us, the people on this podcast and others like us are the reason the world is changing and healing.
11:13
SPEAKER_01: And I'm gonna give you some absolute changes that have happened over the past 30, 40 years in that exact topic of sexual abuse, where it's changing already.
11:23
SPEAKER_01: And over this next decade or two, it needs to be eliminated completely, over, finished, no more.
11:29
SPEAKER_01: And I believe we can.
11:30
SPEAKER_01: And I believe this is a global experience, and humanity's waking up around the world.
11:35
SPEAKER_01: And I want to welcome people from Norway, from Canada, United Kingdom.
11:40
SPEAKER_01: Welcome.
11:40
SPEAKER_01: I'm just I am thrilled that countries around the globe are turning into the We podcast.
11:46
SPEAKER_01: New Zealand, Nigeria, Malaysia, Japan, Sweden, India, France, Germany, and others, Jamaica.
11:57
SPEAKER_01: I finally wrote down a list, and that's a partial list because I don't want to take too long on that.
12:02
SPEAKER_01: And I want to always share it because it's because of all of you turning in and listening.
12:10
SPEAKER_01: We are all spiritual warriors.
12:12
SPEAKER_01: You wouldn't make it through my podcast if you weren't.
12:16
SPEAKER_01: And you're obviously telling other people we're in the top 50 podcasts this week.
12:20
SPEAKER_01: Global, four million.
12:22
SPEAKER_01: Why?
12:23
SPEAKER_01: Because we're all the same.
12:25
SPEAKER_01: You are no different than me, and I am no different than you.
12:29
SPEAKER_01: And I look forward to traveling the globe and shaking your hand and hugging your neck.
12:34
SPEAKER_01: I really do.
12:35
SPEAKER_01: Our website, filling the void, or the my website, joemitiga.com.
12:40
SPEAKER_01: We're continuing to work on it.
12:42
SPEAKER_01: My book will be available there soon.
12:44
SPEAKER_01: Please keep going back.
12:46
SPEAKER_01: The reason for the delay is that we've literally created a book club where people are going to be able to get together in community and be able to, we've come up with an entire 12-week group session type of thing, voluntary, of course, to help people truly work the the details of the inner child and fears and all of that.
13:11
SPEAKER_01: My book, Filling the Void, was a book that was channeled through me literally 30 years ago.
13:16
SPEAKER_01: It was called Your Inner Child Has Rights Too.
13:19
SPEAKER_01: For those of you that don't know, I've been sober 30 plus years.
13:23
SPEAKER_01: I had a a buddy come in back in the mid-90s, February of the mid-90s, screaming and hollering.
13:29
SPEAKER_01: I said, Lincoln, what is wrong with you?
13:30
SPEAKER_01: He says, You're never gonna believe what these people want me to do.
13:33
SPEAKER_01: He'd cuss, we would cuss.
13:35
SPEAKER_01: I was right before my 31st birthday.
13:39
SPEAKER_01: And like, what?
13:41
SPEAKER_01: They want me to stop drinking, Joe.
13:43
SPEAKER_01: They want me to go to 90 meetings in 90 days.
13:45
SPEAKER_01: And I remember I said, That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
13:49
SPEAKER_01: And I heard myself.
13:52
SPEAKER_01: Here I am, I'm living in an unfinished basement, right?
13:55
SPEAKER_01: My buddy was at least on the finished side.
13:57
SPEAKER_01: He had a decent job.
13:58
SPEAKER_01: I had my own business.
13:59
SPEAKER_01: But I heard myself make fun of people that don't drink.
14:03
SPEAKER_01: One of my first conscious thoughts.
14:04
SPEAKER_01: I always bring it up.
14:05
SPEAKER_01: Hey, have you asked yourself the question?
14:08
SPEAKER_01: When's the last time you went 90 days without drinking?
14:11
SPEAKER_01: I get to ask.
14:13
SPEAKER_01: I've gone 33 years.
14:16
SPEAKER_01: So I get to ask, have you gone 30 days?
14:19
SPEAKER_01: I hope you have.
14:20
SPEAKER_01: I hope you get, I hope you're the person on here that says, I wonder, I wish Joe would stop asking that question.
14:25
SPEAKER_01: No, I'm not going to stop asking the question.
14:27
SPEAKER_01: Why?
14:28
SPEAKER_01: Because the Wii podcast is up to about 15 or 20,000 downloads a day, which means every day there's new people coming on.
14:35
SPEAKER_01: And every day I'm going to challenge people to look yourself in the mirror and ask the simplest of questions.
14:43
SPEAKER_01: When was the last time I didn't put a substance in my body to numb myself?
14:48
SPEAKER_01: When was the last time I went 30, 60, 90 days?
14:52
SPEAKER_01: And if you can answer that freely, great.
14:54
SPEAKER_01: Get somebody else on here because I know you know somebody that can't answer that freely.
14:59
SPEAKER_01: And that's all part of healing, folks.
15:01
SPEAKER_01: That's all part of healing humanity.
15:03
SPEAKER_01: It's all part of changing the social norm.
15:06
SPEAKER_01: Why can't we have football games and tailgates and things like that with soda pop and water instead of all the alcohol?
15:15
SPEAKER_01: Why can't we?
15:16
SPEAKER_01: Well, we can.
15:17
SPEAKER_01: And quite honestly, I think a lot more people are.
15:21
SPEAKER_01: A lot more people are.
15:23
SPEAKER_01: And am I anti-alcohol?
15:28
SPEAKER_01: Uh yeah, kind of, but not really.
15:30
SPEAKER_01: I don't care about alcohol.
15:32
SPEAKER_01: I care what it does to you.
15:35
SPEAKER_01: And I honestly I care why.
15:39
SPEAKER_01: Why?
15:41
SPEAKER_01: And it's the why we're doing it is 99.99999% of the time, we're doing it to suppress something in us.
15:53
SPEAKER_01: And as a multidimensional being, the part you're suppressing is a little kid inside yourself.
15:59
SPEAKER_01: You're not suppressing if you were having a great day and one with God and walking on water and uh, you know, beautiful, you're not going out and getting drunk those days.
16:08
SPEAKER_01: The days you are, you're either A, in a pattern you don't know, B, it's just so normal, or C, you're powerless.
16:16
SPEAKER_01: And I don't, I can't speak to alcoholism because I've never seen a human, and I've been around it 30 years, I've never seen a human get off of alcohol and get sober without truly having a power greater than themselves engaged in the process.
16:35
SPEAKER_01: But that isn't the case for drugs, and it's certainly not the case for sex.
16:39
SPEAKER_01: It's not.
16:40
SPEAKER_01: It's not the case for food.
16:42
SPEAKER_01: It's not.
16:43
SPEAKER_01: Those are emotional issues that can be healed.
16:48
SPEAKER_01: We can help you heal the reason why.
16:51
SPEAKER_01: And that's a lot of what this topic is going to be about today.
16:56
SPEAKER_01: The topic of why sexual abuse.
16:59
SPEAKER_01: And please understand.
17:02
SPEAKER_01: I am I've helped men.
17:05
SPEAKER_01: I literally helped a man who was convicted of child molestation, literally.
17:13
SPEAKER_01: Now, in this particular case, there was no victim.
17:17
SPEAKER_01: There was never a literal human, a literal baby, little girl.
17:21
SPEAKER_01: There wasn't.
17:21
SPEAKER_01: It was an FBI agent who was on these different chat boxes.
17:27
SPEAKER_01: And they, I'm gonna say the Lord, the word lured.
17:31
SPEAKER_01: That isn't the right.
17:32
SPEAKER_01: I applaud these humans, these FBI and the police.
17:37
SPEAKER_01: They are my favorite people in the world because they are working effortless, tireless nights working to get people that are harming others off the street.
17:50
SPEAKER_01: I applaud it 100%.
17:52
SPEAKER_01: And my particular person I worked with, he broke the law.
17:57
SPEAKER_01: Period.
17:58
SPEAKER_01: I drove him to Florida.
18:01
SPEAKER_01: 110 months he spent in prison.
18:05
SPEAKER_01: And was I able to empathize with him?
18:08
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
18:09
SPEAKER_01: Was I able to empathize with the pain he was in?
18:12
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
18:12
SPEAKER_01: Was I able to help him connect with a higher power?
18:16
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
18:17
SPEAKER_01: Was I able to help him connect with an abandoned little kid?
18:20
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
18:21
SPEAKER_01: And we did a lot of that, quite honestly, dual-hand journaling, while I'm driving him to prison.
18:27
SPEAKER_01: So just so everybody knows where I stand on it, right?
18:30
SPEAKER_01: That's where I stand on it.
18:31
SPEAKER_01: And I'm going to talk at more length about some solutions of healing.
18:36
SPEAKER_01: It's easy to say, yeah, let's just lock them all up.
18:40
SPEAKER_01: Everybody that did sexual abuse, let's lock them all up.
18:44
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I agree, especially if they broke the law.
18:47
SPEAKER_01: But they get out again.
18:49
SPEAKER_01: Now what?
18:50
SPEAKER_01: And when they get out, we have to heal.
18:53
SPEAKER_01: Why?
18:53
SPEAKER_01: Because we're the generation of change.
18:55
SPEAKER_01: And I'm going to give you some answers on what we do.
18:58
SPEAKER_01: You know, I did a podcast not long ago really on this topic, and it's literally exploding around the world and sharing how and why we are society, culture is really in a place it's never been before.
19:15
SPEAKER_01: Technology makes the globe a very small place.
19:18
SPEAKER_01: There's more money that moves through the globe now in a day or an hour that used to be in existence a hundred years ago.
19:26
SPEAKER_01: Prolonged caregivers are already on the ground.
19:29
SPEAKER_01: Tens of thousands, probably hundreds of thousands of caregivers are on the ground now.
19:36
SPEAKER_01: So every human being in need, somebody knows about them.
19:40
SPEAKER_01: And then, of course, the generation lap, the young people are coming in smarter and wiser, and there's more people finishing their career paths at younger ages than ever before.
19:51
SPEAKER_01: And with longevity being longer, there's more and more people asking, now what?
19:55
SPEAKER_01: What do I do?
19:56
SPEAKER_01: I'm 50, more money than month, kids launch.
19:59
SPEAKER_01: What now?
20:00
SPEAKER_01: And that's the whole generation change.
20:03
SPEAKER_01: Instead of pursuing gratitude, I help people learn to pursue grace.
20:07
SPEAKER_01: My nonprofit, I'm the sole donor.
20:11
SPEAKER_01: Project Smile.world.
20:13
SPEAKER_01: Look me up.
20:14
SPEAKER_01: You want to give five bucks?
20:15
SPEAKER_01: I'll tell you exactly where it goes.
20:17
SPEAKER_01: I literally have two caregivers in Uganda.
20:20
SPEAKER_01: We've got about 80 kids, and I do the best I can to donate to these two caregivers in their mid-30s.
20:29
SPEAKER_01: Both these men have wives and kids of their own, and they work tirelessly, their own world, their own jobs, and tirelessly to support orphans in Uganda.
20:41
SPEAKER_01: Why?
20:42
SPEAKER_01: Because both of these men were one man at 12 at 10 years old.
20:47
SPEAKER_01: His mom changed religions on the dad.
20:50
SPEAKER_01: The dad said she was going straight to where you know where, and he left in the name of his God.
20:58
SPEAKER_01: You know what I have to say to that father?
21:01
SPEAKER_01: F you.
21:02
SPEAKER_01: That's what I have to say to that father and his God.
21:05
SPEAKER_01: F you, you miserable, whatever else I could say.
21:10
SPEAKER_01: Can you imagine that?
21:12
SPEAKER_01: I can't fathom that.
21:15
SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, said that you changed your religion, so I have to abandon you and my 10-year-old.
21:32
SPEAKER_01: And I'm not saying your your human interpretation isn't your human interpretation is skewed because God would never say that.
21:41
SPEAKER_01: And you know what happened to this poor kid?
21:43
SPEAKER_01: His mom died.
21:44
SPEAKER_01: So now what happens?
21:45
SPEAKER_01: He's 11 on the streets in Uganda alone.
21:51
SPEAKER_01: Picked up, not sexually trafficked.
21:54
SPEAKER_01: He was slave labored until he escaped.
21:57
SPEAKER_01: And then a woman took him in.
21:59
SPEAKER_01: He calls her.
22:00
SPEAKER_01: His mother.
22:01
SPEAKER_01: That man now is a grown man.
22:03
SPEAKER_01: No one's going to mess with him.
22:04
SPEAKER_01: He's taking care of 22 kids, literally.
22:08
SPEAKER_01: I help him out with money.
22:09
SPEAKER_01: The only thing they need is money.
22:11
SPEAKER_01: My other guy, same type of thing.
22:13
SPEAKER_01: He, though, had a man that sponsored him out of the U.S.
22:17
SPEAKER_01: And now he's caring for about 45 kids, little kids, from one year old to eight, nine, 10.
22:24
SPEAKER_01: They don't have the social services in that country.
22:26
SPEAKER_01: So parents are dying of AIDS and different diseases, and kids are just left.
22:31
SPEAKER_01: There's no judgment.
22:33
SPEAKER_01: That's my nonprofit, Project Smile.
22:37
SPEAKER_01: I hope you find yours.
22:39
SPEAKER_01: That's always something I want to talk about.
22:41
SPEAKER_01: I always want to encourage.
22:43
SPEAKER_01: It's time.
22:44
SPEAKER_01: Find something you can give back to because it brings a true healing to your heart.
22:49
SPEAKER_01: You're going to feel a lot better.
22:52
SPEAKER_01: And because of technology and finance and long-term caregivers and generation lab, we literally have the capacity, the technology in the globe to where over the next 10 years, every human being should have access to clean water.
23:09
SPEAKER_01: All human beings should have access to clean water.
23:12
SPEAKER_01: Because right now, I learned last year 400 million, 400 million people in you in the continent of Africa don't have access to clean water.
23:24
SPEAKER_01: Well, because of Project Smile, I met a man, went there, and a community of 3,000 now have access to clean water because of Project Smile.
23:36
SPEAKER_01: Literally, I meet a man because of a live stream I was doing before the podcast that had a spiritual experience and he gives back a large portion of the proceeds to places in need.
23:48
SPEAKER_01: I introduced him to my caregivers.
23:51
SPEAKER_01: He not only drilled a well, he's building a school for a community of 3,000.
23:56
SPEAKER_01: So whatever 400 million minus 3,000, one village handled, I'm ready to help every village.
24:06
SPEAKER_01: And that's one of the big reasons I'm doing the We podcast.
24:09
SPEAKER_01: But that part is the physical healing of the world.
24:17
SPEAKER_01: The rest of it, how we truly heal, now we have to get to the emotional side.
24:25
SPEAKER_01: And you know what?
24:26
SPEAKER_01: There are many, many, many, many, many, many people that live with minimal means that are much more emotionally stable, healthy, aware, and connected than Johnny Smith and his three Mercedes and his third wife and making more money than month.
24:48
SPEAKER_01: Now, of course, John's got water whenever he wants, but John's probably the guy that turns me off when I say, Hey, John, when's the last time you went?
24:55
SPEAKER_01: 30 days without drinking or 90.
24:58
SPEAKER_01: And why do I say that?
25:00
SPEAKER_01: Because being truly the generation of change means there's a whole world of us pursuing oneness with a power greater than ourselves.
25:14
SPEAKER_01: How do I know that?
25:14
SPEAKER_01: How do I know that literally?
25:16
SPEAKER_01: Because there was a Gallup poll somewhere, and I'm paraphrasing, that said like 67% or 70% of people polled consider themselves more spiritual than religious.
25:29
SPEAKER_01: Well, what is spirituality?
25:31
SPEAKER_01: Spirituality is the pursuit of oneness with a power greater than themselves.
25:36
SPEAKER_01: Period.
25:36
SPEAKER_01: That's what spirituality is: a pursuit of oneness with a power greater.
25:41
SPEAKER_01: Well, that's fabulous.
25:42
SPEAKER_01: But where is that power greater located?
25:45
SPEAKER_01: It's located in self, in us, each human.
25:49
SPEAKER_01: And as we're waking up, humanity is waking up from in more and more the feminine side of self because your oneness with a power greater, your oneness with your creator is in the feminine side of yourselves.
26:05
SPEAKER_01: All human beings have two sides: male side, female side.
26:08
SPEAKER_01: Male side is mental and physical.
26:12
SPEAKER_01: Your thoughts and your physical body, your physical being.
26:16
SPEAKER_01: That's considered your male energy.
26:18
SPEAKER_01: And it and it's not gender specific.
26:20
SPEAKER_01: Women have very powerful male energies, too.
26:23
SPEAKER_01: Do you know, by the way, there's a show out there called Hidden Figures?
26:27
SPEAKER_01: Freaking fabulous.
26:29
SPEAKER_01: That they that NASA used computers.
26:32
SPEAKER_01: They were females with brains the size of freaking, you know, the size of the universe.
26:39
SPEAKER_01: Literally, some of the first people that did the calculations for the first Apollo missions were females, and I'm paraphrasing that the movie has it as black females.
26:52
SPEAKER_01: I don't know if that's true or not.
26:53
SPEAKER_01: It's a movie, but I know it was women whose brains were so smart that they figured out longhand with pencils and paper the trajectory to the moon.
27:04
SPEAKER_01: That's male.
27:05
SPEAKER_01: That's mental energy.
27:06
SPEAKER_01: Fabulous.
27:07
SPEAKER_01: We're waking up to the feminine side.
27:10
SPEAKER_01: And in that feminine side, you not only have your spiritual sense of self, you have the emotional sense of self.
27:15
SPEAKER_01: And the emotional sense of self is where true healing happens.
27:19
SPEAKER_01: That's why we say the positive affirmation was a great thing for 40 years.
27:23
SPEAKER_01: Does it heal anything?
27:25
SPEAKER_01: No, it doesn't.
27:26
SPEAKER_01: Is it a great thing?
27:27
SPEAKER_01: Meditation, yes, it's fabulous.
27:29
SPEAKER_01: I suggest that I do.
27:31
SPEAKER_01: Now, I'm gonna re- I'm gonna ask if you started your five minutes of silence, because silence, sitting in silence means no external stimulus, no music, no talking, no phones, no TV.
27:43
SPEAKER_01: You're still gonna hear your thoughts.
27:45
SPEAKER_01: Sitting in silence is not about trying to calm your voices.
27:50
SPEAKER_01: It's more witnessing the voices, it's more being aware of your voices.
27:55
SPEAKER_01: Because the more aware you become of your big voices, you're gonna eventually hear a smaller voice, a quieter voice, a more favorable voice.
28:03
SPEAKER_01: And that smaller, more favorable voice is your higher power, is a higher guidance system.
28:09
SPEAKER_01: And as you're waking up more and more, if you want to know how to live as the highest sense of yourself, you've got to figure out how to commune with that higher power part.
28:22
SPEAKER_01: Well, people have asked, well, Joe, if it's in there, why don't we all just live one with God and walk on water?
28:29
SPEAKER_01: Well, because we have too many wounds in the way.
28:31
SPEAKER_01: We have too many blocks in the way.
28:33
SPEAKER_01: Our ego has been so grandized.
28:38
SPEAKER_01: If it's to be, it's up to the me.
28:40
SPEAKER_01: Humanity for millennia has been teaching from the pulpits, from the speeches that we're separate from.
28:49
SPEAKER_01: Well, they can preach all they want because you're waking up to something different.
28:54
SPEAKER_01: And that's what the We Podcast is all about.
28:56
SPEAKER_01: How do I know it's working around the globe?
28:58
SPEAKER_01: I literally just mentioned, I don't know, 10 or 12 countries.
29:02
SPEAKER_01: I'm missing 10 countries.
29:05
SPEAKER_01: The We Podcast is this is our 51st episode.
29:08
SPEAKER_01: We're literally in seven continents.
29:11
SPEAKER_01: Ye shall do what I have done in grander things.
29:13
SPEAKER_01: That's a biblical quote.
29:15
SPEAKER_01: When I really figured out what the heck that meant, it was Jesus predicting 2,000 years from today.
29:20
SPEAKER_01: Is Joe any is Joe Jesus?
29:21
SPEAKER_01: Are you freaking kidding?
29:22
SPEAKER_01: No.
29:23
SPEAKER_01: But when Jesus would speak from the highest mountain, about 200 people would talk.
29:29
SPEAKER_01: This episode right here with a click of a button, a million people.
29:33
SPEAKER_01: And another year from today, it'll be 10 million people.
29:36
SPEAKER_01: Why?
29:37
SPEAKER_01: All part of the generation of change, the technology.
29:40
SPEAKER_01: Technology allows it.
29:41
SPEAKER_01: And that's why together we're healing.
29:44
SPEAKER_01: And together we can truly physically heal the ailments of our country.
29:50
SPEAKER_01: Plenty of money, plenty of technology, plenty of caregivers, and plenty of people that are willing to participate.
29:58
SPEAKER_01: And we're doing it.
29:59
SPEAKER_01: We literally are.
30:00
SPEAKER_01: Perfect example.
30:01
SPEAKER_01: One village now, a month ago, had no water.
30:04
SPEAKER_01: Now it does.
30:06
SPEAKER_01: A month from today, they used to not have a school.
30:09
SPEAKER_01: Now they will.
30:09
SPEAKER_01: That's one of, I don't know, 20,000 villages.
30:14
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
30:14
SPEAKER_01: It's a big world, big continent, but there's plenty of us to handle it.
30:19
SPEAKER_01: For the rest of us, right?
30:22
SPEAKER_01: The physical healing, fabulous.
30:24
SPEAKER_01: It's the emotional side now that we have to continue to work on.
30:30
SPEAKER_01: We have to continue to become aware of.
30:32
SPEAKER_01: We have to figure out the how to.
30:34
SPEAKER_01: And Joe is about teaching the how to heal your emotional sense of self.
30:41
SPEAKER_01: The how to, because that's all I was ever pursuing, folks.
30:45
SPEAKER_01: I was never pursuing a greater God or any of that concept.
30:49
SPEAKER_01: I wasn't.
30:50
SPEAKER_01: I wasn't atheist, but I was an F you God guy.
30:53
SPEAKER_01: I used to say if God was a true thing, there's no way I would be in so much pain.
30:58
SPEAKER_01: Now, for those of you that are new, I had memories of being sexually abused in April of 1994.
31:07
SPEAKER_01: And for the following seven years, I lived pretty much in isolation.
31:12
SPEAKER_01: I had one counselor, so I did have support, but I was pretty much in isolation.
31:18
SPEAKER_01: And I learned how to feel and heal and grieve and rage and be fearful and all that with just me.
31:27
SPEAKER_01: That's why I say if I can, you can.
31:30
SPEAKER_01: Why?
31:30
SPEAKER_01: Because I learned that doing it by yourself takes seven years.
31:37
SPEAKER_01: And folks, you don't have to do it for seven years.
31:39
SPEAKER_01: Just I'm going to continue to help create an environment more and more because we heal in the we.
31:46
SPEAKER_01: That's why I have such a passion for the healing of the we, because I did it all alone.
31:51
SPEAKER_01: And if I can, you can.
31:54
SPEAKER_01: And that's where I always go back.
31:56
SPEAKER_01: What's Joe's biggest message?
31:58
SPEAKER_01: If I can, you can.
32:00
SPEAKER_01: And that's my passion.
32:02
SPEAKER_01: That's my big message.
32:03
SPEAKER_01: It just is.
32:04
SPEAKER_01: So let's talk about this concept of sexual abuse.
32:10
SPEAKER_01: And I have to tell you, this that I, you know, this is important to me.
32:16
SPEAKER_01: It is, because every time we can heal one predator, then 50 people aren't hurt.
32:30
SPEAKER_01: I heard that as a stat, not going to quote it, but I heard it as a stat.
32:35
SPEAKER_01: And I'm going to talk about it.
32:36
SPEAKER_01: I'm going to talk about what used to happen.
32:40
SPEAKER_01: And the whole concept, it's there's two sides of it, right?
32:48
SPEAKER_01: You've got the predator out there who's causing harm through this thing called sexual abuse.
32:55
SPEAKER_01: I'm going to dissect that sexual abuse concept and truly help people understand what it is, because it has nothing to do with sex.
33:05
SPEAKER_01: It has everything to do with acting out rage and control.
33:10
SPEAKER_01: I'm going to dissect that in a minute.
33:12
SPEAKER_01: But the other side of that is the 50 people that are harmed.
33:19
SPEAKER_01: And we have to make sure that those 50 people, that's really what this podcast is about.
33:26
SPEAKER_01: Not the one.
33:28
SPEAKER_01: Because a lot of those people, to be quite honest with you, they are lost souls.
33:33
SPEAKER_01: They are.
34:27
SPEAKER_01: Physical abuse, nope.
34:29
SPEAKER_01: Emotional abuse, nope.
34:31
SPEAKER_01: Neglect, nope.
34:33
SPEAKER_01: Abandonment, nope.
34:34
SPEAKER_01: You know why?
34:35
SPEAKER_01: Because sexual abuse is all of those at the same time, plus powerlessness.
34:45
SPEAKER_01: Hear me.
34:46
SPEAKER_01: What's abandonment?
34:47
SPEAKER_01: No one emotionally supporting you.
34:50
SPEAKER_01: There's no physical abuse with that.
34:52
SPEAKER_01: There's no neglect associated with not being emotionally abandoned.
34:56
SPEAKER_01: My mother never neglected me.
34:58
SPEAKER_01: She's around every day of my life.
35:00
SPEAKER_01: That's why I grieve so deeply.
35:06
SPEAKER_01: I saw my mother once a week my entire life.
35:09
SPEAKER_01: My mother never neglected me.
35:10
SPEAKER_01: Never.
35:11
SPEAKER_01: Nada.
35:12
SPEAKER_01: Nada ever did she ever neglect me.
35:15
SPEAKER_01: Was she emotionally there for me?
35:17
SPEAKER_01: No.
35:17
SPEAKER_01: So did she emotionally abandon me?
35:19
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
35:20
SPEAKER_01: Neglect me?
35:21
SPEAKER_01: No.
35:21
SPEAKER_01: Abandon me?
35:22
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
35:23
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
35:24
SPEAKER_01: And I had to heal that.
35:25
SPEAKER_01: My dad, on the other hand, he was never freaking around.
35:28
SPEAKER_01: Ever.
35:29
SPEAKER_01: He's dead too.
35:30
SPEAKER_01: So I've got some stories to tell about him.
35:32
SPEAKER_01: I don't mind talking about dead people.
35:33
SPEAKER_01: I don't.
35:34
SPEAKER_01: I don't.
35:34
SPEAKER_01: And they would want me to.
35:36
SPEAKER_01: And when I share my stories, please know different names, different states, different places.
35:44
SPEAKER_01: Stories are true.
35:45
SPEAKER_01: Names and places, not.
35:48
SPEAKER_01: And and I've been doing this a really long time.
35:51
SPEAKER_01: Did my dad abandon me?
35:53
SPEAKER_01: Not really.
35:54
SPEAKER_01: He was never there.
35:55
SPEAKER_01: Did he neglect me?
35:56
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
35:56
SPEAKER_01: Because he was never there.
35:59
SPEAKER_01: Neglect.
36:00
SPEAKER_01: Did either one of my parents physically abuse me?
36:02
SPEAKER_01: No, I didn't go through physical abuse.
36:04
SPEAKER_01: I didn't.
36:04
SPEAKER_01: I got spanked twice my whole life.
36:06
SPEAKER_01: Do I believe spanking is a type of physical abuse?
36:09
SPEAKER_01: That's Joe's parenting belief system.
36:12
SPEAKER_01: I'm not telling you how to parent your child.
36:14
SPEAKER_01: And if you're spanking out of rage, that's abuse.
36:18
SPEAKER_01: Hear me.
36:20
SPEAKER_01: If you're spanking because you're mad, that's abuse.
36:25
SPEAKER_01: No, I have heard the argument on very calm, very wise, very cool people, that they believed that the delusional ridiculousness of causing their child physical pain through spanking changes behavior.
36:45
SPEAKER_01: It might make them afraid of you, yes.
36:49
SPEAKER_01: So I guess I did kind of state my true view of spanking.
36:55
SPEAKER_01: I'm not telling people how to parent.
36:57
SPEAKER_01: Did I spank my oldest?
36:59
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
36:59
SPEAKER_01: Out of calm?
37:01
SPEAKER_01: No.
37:02
SPEAKER_01: Out of rage?
37:03
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
37:03
SPEAKER_01: Why?
37:04
SPEAKER_01: Powerlessness?
37:05
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
37:05
SPEAKER_01: Did I owe him an amends?
37:08
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
37:09
SPEAKER_01: Did I take my powerlessness?
37:11
SPEAKER_01: That I acted out on my oldest by spanking him to my therapist.
37:16
SPEAKER_01: Yes, I did.
37:17
SPEAKER_01: I did.
37:18
SPEAKER_01: More than once.
37:20
SPEAKER_01: Probably three or four times.
37:22
SPEAKER_01: So that's why I have a real that part.
37:25
SPEAKER_01: Now I have friends.
37:27
SPEAKER_01: I have friends.
37:28
SPEAKER_01: I just was talking to a man the other day that when his dad got pissed, he'd be at the dinner table and just would get backhanded with the knuckles.
37:37
SPEAKER_01: He was telling me this story.
37:39
SPEAKER_01: He was eating pasta or something.
37:41
SPEAKER_01: The old man got pissed, knocked him right off his chair.
37:44
SPEAKER_01: Knuckles.
37:46
SPEAKER_01: That's abuse.
37:47
SPEAKER_01: That's physical abuse.
37:49
SPEAKER_01: And hard.
37:52
SPEAKER_01: So each one of those abuses, abandonment, neglect, physical abuse, being cussed at, yell, it kind of being yelled at, it just destroys your esteem.
38:06
SPEAKER_01: But each one of those individually is hurtful as I'll get out.
38:12
SPEAKER_01: Sexual abuse is all of those together.
38:16
SPEAKER_01: It is.
39:34
SPEAKER_01: And 50, 60 years ago, in completion, you know, you look back in the history books and in the 50s and the 60s.
39:43
SPEAKER_01: If you weren't a white male, there was just so many rights and so many abilities and so many opportunities that didn't exist for you.
39:55
SPEAKER_01: That's coming from a white male.
39:57
SPEAKER_01: I'm a white male guy, right?
39:59
SPEAKER_01: But that was 50, 60 years ago.
40:01
SPEAKER_01: It's not today.
40:02
SPEAKER_01: I don't believe it anymore today.
40:04
SPEAKER_01: I don't.
40:04
SPEAKER_01: And now again, I can't speak for everybody.
40:07
SPEAKER_01: I'm not saying that people don't do stupid stuff.
40:09
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
40:10
SPEAKER_01: But the masses, the mass majority, 99.9% of people are treated for the content of their character, not the color of their skin, and certainly not their gender, period.
40:22
SPEAKER_01: But 30, 40 years ago, it wasn't the case.
40:26
SPEAKER_01: You know, the whole concept of the casting couch.
40:30
SPEAKER_01: Now, do I know for a fact that the whole movie star world and all of that kind of stuff, that, you know, the only way that you got particular roles and all of that, you had to have sexual ins with people.
40:46
SPEAKER_01: Do I know it for a fact?
40:47
SPEAKER_01: Actually, I do.
40:48
SPEAKER_01: I heard several different stories over the time.
40:50
SPEAKER_01: But was that an experience I had?
40:52
SPEAKER_01: No, I wasn't.
40:53
SPEAKER_01: There wasn't personally.
40:55
SPEAKER_01: But here's a here's an answer.
40:56
SPEAKER_01: Like I'm telling you, that we're in the we're in we're in a world that's changing.
41:01
SPEAKER_01: Just that one industry years ago, 99% of all of the people in control were males.
41:08
SPEAKER_01: White or black, I don't know, but men.
41:11
SPEAKER_01: And now it's not the case.
41:13
SPEAKER_01: Literally, it's not the case.
41:14
SPEAKER_01: Some of the biggest shows out there are produced by women.
41:17
SPEAKER_01: Some of the biggest production companies are owned by women.
41:20
SPEAKER_01: I've said it all along.
41:22
SPEAKER_01: Women are the answer to healing humanity.
41:25
SPEAKER_01: They just are.
41:26
SPEAKER_01: Well, that's an entire industry that is shifting out of that.
41:31
SPEAKER_01: I'm sure you've all heard about the Epstein world.
41:33
SPEAKER_01: Now, do I know the details of that?
41:35
SPEAKER_01: No, I know what I everybody else knows on the television program.
41:38
SPEAKER_01: But you have to ask yourself the simplest of all questions.
41:41
SPEAKER_01: Why for 40 years was it allowed?
41:46
SPEAKER_01: Well, because the people in control for those 40 years were men.
41:52
SPEAKER_01: Period.
41:54
SPEAKER_01: Over.
41:55
SPEAKER_01: No, it's not.
41:56
SPEAKER_01: It's just not.
41:58
SPEAKER_01: Now, are there other places like that?
42:00
SPEAKER_01: I don't know, maybe, but at least that's one place that doesn't exist anymore.
42:05
SPEAKER_01: All part of the generation of change, folks.
42:07
SPEAKER_01: All part of the generation of change.
42:10
SPEAKER_01: Now we get to the side where we say, why do I have to heal?
42:17
SPEAKER_01: No, I already did that.
42:18
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it was 40 years ago, Joe.
42:21
SPEAKER_01: It's perfectly fine.
42:23
SPEAKER_01: And if you feel comfortable, if you're not triggered, if you're not a control freak, if you're not codependent, if you're not afraid of being alone, if you're not afraid of being abandoned, and if you're not afraid of getting beat up, then you're perfectly fine.
42:41
SPEAKER_01: Most people, men and women, who are sexually abused as a kid, I just described their personalities of today.
42:49
SPEAKER_01: Does that mean it dominates their life?
42:52
SPEAKER_01: No.
42:53
SPEAKER_01: But for some it does.
42:55
SPEAKER_01: And I'm gonna talk about what we do about it.
43:00
SPEAKER_01: Why?
43:01
SPEAKER_01: Because that was me.
43:03
SPEAKER_01: How do I know those characteristics?
43:06
SPEAKER_01: Because those characteristics, folks, were me.
43:10
SPEAKER_01: I lived those characteristics.
43:14
SPEAKER_01: Was it all because I was sexually abused?
43:17
SPEAKER_01: A lot of it was how do I know?
43:21
SPEAKER_01: Because I was in therapy.
43:22
SPEAKER_01: What's different now than before?
43:25
SPEAKER_01: There's help everywhere.
43:27
SPEAKER_01: And there more and more people have to wake up.
43:32
SPEAKER_01: No, more and more people are waking up to the desire to heal things that happened 20, 30, 40 years ago.
43:44
SPEAKER_01: And in today's world, there's so much more support and so much more knowledge and so much more empathy that the healing happens faster.
43:59
SPEAKER_01: And I go.
44:00
SPEAKER_01: Back, you know, there's all sorts of cliches around it.
44:05
SPEAKER_01: Oh, that it killed my soul.
44:09
SPEAKER_01: No, it didn't.
44:10
SPEAKER_01: I'm flawed.
44:12
SPEAKER_01: No, you're not.
44:13
SPEAKER_01: I can't, I'll never let somebody in again.
44:17
SPEAKER_01: That's your decision.
44:19
SPEAKER_01: There are so many really deep, dark belief systems that totally dominate the 50.
44:31
SPEAKER_01: Why the predator might be sitting in jail, hopefully.
44:34
SPEAKER_01: So he's not making 51, right?
44:37
SPEAKER_01: The healing of the predator is a different topic.
44:42
SPEAKER_01: And the healing of the 50 is what I'm going to talk about today.
44:48
SPEAKER_01: And I'm also going to talk about in more length the predator personality who doesn't necessarily cross the boundaries of young people or people that aren't willing.
45:06
SPEAKER_01: But it doesn't mean you don't have a predator personality.
45:11
SPEAKER_01: There were years in my 30s, and I am here to say, I am grateful to say, because quite honestly, I don't know if I'd had the courage to say it, if I couldn't say what I'm getting ready to say.
45:23
SPEAKER_01: I've shared about my addictions, I've shared about my sexual abuse, I've shared about my drinking, my drugging, my my everything, my my addictions.
45:31
SPEAKER_01: And I am here to tell you that for Joe, I never crossed the boundary of a young person.
45:40
SPEAKER_01: Ever.
45:41
SPEAKER_01: Never.
45:41
SPEAKER_01: And quite honestly, and I was in therapy for years, and I did a lot of first steps and the things we're going to talk about to heal.
45:50
SPEAKER_01: I never even had thoughts of that.
45:54
SPEAKER_01: It just literally never made sense to me, that whole predator little kid garbage.
46:04
SPEAKER_01: It never did.
46:05
SPEAKER_01: And I am very grateful to say that I don't have to say to you honestly here, because if I did, I would share it honestly here with you.
46:14
SPEAKER_01: But I didn't.
46:14
SPEAKER_01: That isn't something I had.
46:16
SPEAKER_01: But then, Joe, why do you call yourself, why did you have a predator personality?
46:20
SPEAKER_01: Because the predator personality is more the pursuit of relationship with females where the sexual prowess, the sexual attraction was primary and everything else was secondary.
46:40
SPEAKER_01: Hear me.
46:41
SPEAKER_01: Did I know it while I was doing it?
46:43
SPEAKER_01: No.
46:44
SPEAKER_01: Did I ever attract a woman who said no and I said yes?
46:49
SPEAKER_01: No.
46:50
SPEAKER_01: I attracted women that were the same.
46:54
SPEAKER_01: I did.
46:55
SPEAKER_01: Does that make a right or wrong from my side?
46:58
SPEAKER_01: No.
46:59
SPEAKER_01: It still made me a predator, made her a predator too, but I'm not talking about somebody else.
47:03
SPEAKER_01: I'm talking about Joe.
47:05
SPEAKER_01: And how I know it is because there was an insatiable need for it, no matter how much I drank and drugged, in that same era of time, which would have been my 20s.
47:20
SPEAKER_01: Um which we're talking 40 years ago.
47:26
SPEAKER_01: That's why this particular episode took me a while to prepare for, because I'm trying to be honest and I'm trying to remember, because that was a long time ago.
47:34
SPEAKER_01: And you know, I have to say that it's just not how I am anymore.
47:37
SPEAKER_01: It's just I'm not that anymore.
47:40
SPEAKER_01: So I can honestly say if I can heal, so can you.
47:45
SPEAKER_01: Both sides.
47:46
SPEAKER_01: Because remember, I was sexually abused too.
47:50
SPEAKER_01: So I can talk from the healing of that side.
47:53
SPEAKER_01: And fellas, I'm talking to a lot of you out there, because right now, with your own wife, you're a predator.
48:01
SPEAKER_01: Truly.
48:02
SPEAKER_01: And why does that matter?
48:04
SPEAKER_01: She's my wife.
48:06
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't matter for the interaction between a man and a woman if your wife is complicit, right?
48:13
SPEAKER_01: If she's voluntary with it, it matters because there's no sense of serenity when we have predator energy controlling us, our predator energy a part of our normal.
48:29
SPEAKER_01: And that's what I want to help people heal.
48:32
SPEAKER_01: You can have sex with your partner in a loving, wonderful, beautiful experience.
48:38
SPEAKER_01: It's the creation of all creation happens, called a baby in the act or can.
48:46
SPEAKER_01: Now, is all sex about making babies?
48:49
SPEAKER_01: No.
48:49
SPEAKER_01: It's a pleasurable thing, it's a relieving thing, it's a nurturing thing.
48:55
SPEAKER_01: Any and all favorable experiences all are combined in the sexual energy and the sharing of sexual energy between two people.
49:06
SPEAKER_01: For a lot of people, especially men, the sexual energy is the grandest energetic experience they ever have, gals.
49:14
SPEAKER_01: Whether you can understand that or not, a lot of you women out there, you are so connected.
49:20
SPEAKER_01: Your intuition is amazing.
49:22
SPEAKER_01: Your oneness with the world around you is fabulous.
49:26
SPEAKER_01: Your ability to feel love when you see a beautiful picture or a flower or somebody compliments.
49:32
SPEAKER_01: Your ability to sense and to feel and to commune energetic patterns grander than orgasm for a lot of you is grander.
49:44
SPEAKER_01: For most men, not so much.
49:48
SPEAKER_01: How can I speak so clearly on that?
49:50
SPEAKER_01: Well, because I was both sides of that.
49:53
SPEAKER_01: Way back when?
49:55
SPEAKER_01: Did I care about a rose?
49:57
SPEAKER_01: Nope.
49:58
SPEAKER_01: Bottom line, if we weren't heading to the bedroom, I didn't care.
50:02
SPEAKER_01: Because that was the predator, that was the prowl, that was the approach, that was what I was seeking.
50:09
SPEAKER_01: And I was seeking it for relief and labeling it love.
50:16
SPEAKER_01: Seeking for relief and labeling it love.
50:19
SPEAKER_01: And that's why sex equals love.
50:21
SPEAKER_01: People really believe that nonsense.
50:23
SPEAKER_01: They literally do.
50:25
SPEAKER_01: Sex and love have zero to do with each other.
50:28
SPEAKER_01: Not a not a clue, not an iota of a nothing, zero-ness.
50:32
SPEAKER_01: And have you ever noticed you think about your partner with somebody else?
50:37
SPEAKER_01: What do you feel?
50:37
SPEAKER_01: Gut wrenching, can't breathe, heart closed, knife in the stomach.
50:41
SPEAKER_01: Why?
50:42
SPEAKER_01: Well, he's not supposed to.
50:43
SPEAKER_01: I'm not saying he's supposed to.
50:44
SPEAKER_01: I'm saying why do you have such a massive reactionary pattern with the thought process of your partner sexually with somebody else?
50:51
SPEAKER_01: Well, because you're attached to sex equal love too.
50:54
SPEAKER_01: 99% of you.
50:55
SPEAKER_01: And it's that kind of conversation, folks, we're having here today, getting you free of that.
51:01
SPEAKER_01: Where does it come from?
51:03
SPEAKER_01: Where does the knife in the heart, the stomach closing down, the sweats happen when you think about it?
51:11
SPEAKER_01: A wounded little kid, a hurt little girl inside.
51:14
SPEAKER_01: And boy, we're going to talk about that.
51:17
SPEAKER_01: We are.
51:17
SPEAKER_01: Why?
51:18
SPEAKER_01: Because how do we heal humanity?
51:21
SPEAKER_01: We have to heal the depths of ourself.
51:24
SPEAKER_01: We have to heal the deepest parts of ourself if they're causing you angst.
51:32
SPEAKER_01: Now, for a lot of you, they're not.
51:33
SPEAKER_01: They're not.
51:34
SPEAKER_01: And a lot of you that you're listening to this and say, wow, that's interesting, Joe.
51:38
SPEAKER_01: That really doesn't have anything to do with me.
51:40
SPEAKER_01: And I applaud you, I do.
51:41
SPEAKER_01: But for the other 98%, you all know what I'm talking about.
51:46
SPEAKER_01: And we're going to talk about the man part, the predator part.
51:49
SPEAKER_01: And I'm not saying women aren't predators.
51:51
SPEAKER_01: Women are more like praying manis.
51:54
SPEAKER_01: I got a couple of women I've worked with over the years, freaking praying manis.
51:58
SPEAKER_01: Sweet, kind, lure them in, and then just cut their heads off.
52:02
SPEAKER_01: Literally.
52:03
SPEAKER_01: Well, we're going to talk about that too, but more the predator concept in massive numbers of men.
52:13
SPEAKER_01: But as promised, I'm going to tell the story of what really created a predator.
52:21
SPEAKER_01: Now, the gentleman I was speaking with was in his upper 70s.
52:25
SPEAKER_01: He was telling me about his dad, who his name is John.
52:34
SPEAKER_01: I always like to use John as the name.
52:38
SPEAKER_01: And John's father.
52:41
SPEAKER_01: So the dad, who's been dead for a lot of years, would I say would probably literally be a hundred now?
52:49
SPEAKER_01: So we're talking back in the early 1920s, 1930s, and John's dad started all this.
53:00
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
53:01
SPEAKER_01: John's dad, whose name is Frank.
53:04
SPEAKER_01: So Frank would be the man I was talking to great would have been his grandfather.
53:11
SPEAKER_01: So Frank, who was a German guy, was just mean.
53:16
SPEAKER_01: And now Frank would have probably been born in like 1890, something like that.
53:22
SPEAKER_01: You know, so 1890, what the heck?
53:25
SPEAKER_01: 1860, owning a human was still normal.
53:29
SPEAKER_01: So think about the era.
53:31
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
53:32
SPEAKER_01: So we got Frank, who's the dad who is systematically creating a pedophile.
53:40
SPEAKER_01: And Frank's wife was forced into prostitution to make money for Frank.
53:51
SPEAKER_01: You heard me.
53:53
SPEAKER_01: So John's mom was forced into prostitution.
53:58
SPEAKER_01: The dad pimped his own wife for money.
54:04
SPEAKER_01: And John, the child, found out.
54:10
SPEAKER_01: John the child, more than once, walked in on mom on her knees, and I'm gonna stop right there with a gentleman that John didn't know.
54:20
SPEAKER_01: And this is a family program here.
54:24
SPEAKER_01: Put in the dots yourself.
54:27
SPEAKER_01: When John was caught spying on mom, dad, beat him.
54:34
SPEAKER_01: Beat him with a paddle, with a wood stick.
54:39
SPEAKER_01: Well, did that stop John's curiosity from wondering what mom's doing with the next man and then the next man and then the next man and then the next man?
54:50
SPEAKER_01: No, it didn't.
54:52
SPEAKER_01: So John, his entire young life, witnessed men, random men, nice guys.
55:01
SPEAKER_01: I'm sure they all said, Hi, John, how are you?
55:03
SPEAKER_01: And they would just disappear into the bedroom.
55:06
SPEAKER_01: And John was threatened with beatings if he disturbed.
55:11
SPEAKER_01: Well, John couldn't handle his curiosity.
55:14
SPEAKER_01: And John saw more than once mom, mom in very various stages of disrobed, various stages of activities with random people.
55:25
SPEAKER_01: And of course, John was young, so John always got caught, and John always got beat by Frank.
55:31
SPEAKER_01: Well, eventually, this goes on.
55:35
SPEAKER_01: They live in Pennsylvania, and it was an era of time where the world was closed down, truly closed down.
55:46
SPEAKER_01: Think about a man pimping his own wife for money and beating his son because the son was curious.
55:58
SPEAKER_01: This is about 100 years ago, somewhere in that era, right?
56:00
SPEAKER_01: And think about where was the community?
56:03
SPEAKER_01: Well, they were closed down too.
56:05
SPEAKER_01: None of their business what happened.
56:07
SPEAKER_01: It was no one's business to walk in, it was no one's business to confront Frank.
56:11
SPEAKER_01: It's no one's business what Frank does with his wife.
56:13
SPEAKER_01: Why?
56:14
SPEAKER_01: Because that was just the generation they lived in.
56:16
SPEAKER_01: A closed-down, male-dominated, do as I say, or I will beat you.
56:22
SPEAKER_01: Well, eventually, mom gets sick and dad leaves.
56:29
SPEAKER_01: Dad moves then to Indiana, where I was, where I grew up, and mom gets sick.
56:36
SPEAKER_01: And then mom doesn't get better.
56:39
SPEAKER_01: And then mom is put in mental institution.
56:42
SPEAKER_01: Mom had syphilis.
56:44
SPEAKER_01: You know, back in this era of time, there wasn't cures for, there wasn't cures for those types of ailments.
56:54
SPEAKER_01: There wasn't.
56:55
SPEAKER_01: Couldn't cure it.
56:56
SPEAKER_01: So the mom literally dies in front of the son, John, and of syphilis in a mental institution.
57:09
SPEAKER_01: And eventually she dies.
57:11
SPEAKER_01: Well, John then somehow, I never got this part, how John got from Pennsylvania to find dad in northern Indiana.
57:21
SPEAKER_01: Well, dad realizes then that he hates John because he doesn't really know for a fact if we John knows who his mother is, but the dad doesn't know for sure if he's the dad of John.
57:40
SPEAKER_01: Of course not.
57:42
SPEAKER_01: Mom's job was to be with other men.
57:46
SPEAKER_01: So John, Dad didn't turn John away, but Dad made John sleep on the front porch in northern Indiana all year round.
57:57
SPEAKER_01: He's 13.
57:59
SPEAKER_01: Front porch.
58:00
SPEAKER_01: Little blanket.
58:02
SPEAKER_01: Outside in the heat, outside in the cold.
58:05
SPEAKER_01: So he's 14.
58:07
SPEAKER_01: Eventually, a community member, a mom of a community member, brings John into her house and tells the dad, You come over here, I'll take a knife to you.
58:20
SPEAKER_01: I'll take a pair of scissors.
58:22
SPEAKER_01: So she protected him for the first time.
58:24
SPEAKER_01: At this point, John's 14, 15 years old.
58:27
SPEAKER_01: Well, John then grows up.
58:31
SPEAKER_01: Dad signs for John to go into the army at 17.
58:35
SPEAKER_01: John comes back out of the army.
58:37
SPEAKER_01: And John now goes into World War II, sees wars, sees killings, sees crazy, sees whatever, comes back and gets married.
58:48
SPEAKER_01: John gets married, and then John has seven, eight kids.
58:54
SPEAKER_01: One of John's kids was John Jr., and John Jr.
59:01
SPEAKER_01: was my perpetrator, John Jr.
59:05
SPEAKER_01: And I learned that John Sr.
59:10
SPEAKER_01: systematically abused John Jr.
59:14
SPEAKER_01: his entire life.
59:16
SPEAKER_01: And when I share on one of my podcasts about as a little boy, I was seven or eight, and John Jr.
59:25
SPEAKER_01: and his friend, they were just mean.
59:28
SPEAKER_01: They were 17, 18.
59:30
SPEAKER_01: At the time, I didn't know.
59:32
SPEAKER_01: For years, my little kid said, What did I do?
59:37
SPEAKER_01: It's my fault.
59:38
SPEAKER_01: I must have done something.
59:41
SPEAKER_01: And that's that deep I must have done something belief system is in a lot of the 50 that I talked about earlier, which we're going to talk about that solution here in a little bit.
59:55
SPEAKER_01: And John Jr.
59:57
SPEAKER_01: then is the story I told where I had my memories 30 years later, 20 years later.
1:00:05
SPEAKER_01: I chose help.
1:00:08
SPEAKER_01: I chose to heal.
1:00:10
SPEAKER_01: I chose to get through it.
1:00:12
SPEAKER_01: I chose to give a voice to my deepest, darkest part, all alone, isolated in Gainesville, Georgia, no one within miles of me.
1:00:23
SPEAKER_01: I would scream, I would holler, I would yell, I would cry, no one around.
1:00:29
SPEAKER_01: And I made it.
1:00:33
SPEAKER_01: Why do I tell that story?
1:00:35
SPEAKER_01: Because the generation of abuse and the predator of abuse and the acting out of abuse, it stopped with me.
1:00:48
SPEAKER_01: Why?
1:00:49
SPEAKER_01: Because I chose to heal.
1:00:52
SPEAKER_01: I didn't choose to keep acting out the pattern.
1:00:56
SPEAKER_01: Now, did I have a predator personality relative to these guys?
1:01:01
SPEAKER_01: No.
1:01:02
SPEAKER_01: Did I?
1:01:03
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
1:01:04
SPEAKER_01: Did I have a high libido and a high sexual energy?
1:01:08
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
1:01:09
SPEAKER_01: Did I act it out harming anybody?
1:01:14
SPEAKER_01: No.
1:01:14
SPEAKER_01: Why?
1:01:15
SPEAKER_01: Because I'm the generation of change, and so are you.
1:01:20
SPEAKER_01: We are the generation of change.
1:01:23
SPEAKER_01: We are.
1:01:24
SPEAKER_01: Why do we need to heal?
1:01:26
SPEAKER_01: Because if you don't heal, then you're no different than John Sr.
1:01:31
SPEAKER_01: and John Jr.
1:01:32
SPEAKER_01: Period.
1:01:33
SPEAKER_01: John Sr., he lived forever.
1:01:37
SPEAKER_01: He died alone.
1:01:38
SPEAKER_01: He died of Alzheimer's.
1:01:39
SPEAKER_01: He didn't even know who he was.
1:01:41
SPEAKER_01: John Jr.
1:01:42
SPEAKER_01: was a heroin addict with the needles and the hot plates and died of exposure on the side of a mountain.
1:01:50
SPEAKER_01: Now, do I think any of you are them?
1:01:53
SPEAKER_01: No, I don't.
1:01:54
SPEAKER_01: You're all me.
1:01:56
SPEAKER_01: Not all of you.
1:01:57
SPEAKER_01: There's a lot of you who are me.
1:02:00
SPEAKER_01: You can identify.
1:02:02
SPEAKER_01: You were hurt when you were young.
1:02:04
SPEAKER_01: You were.
1:02:06
SPEAKER_01: Did it have to be sexual abuse, literal, physical, all the above?
1:02:12
SPEAKER_01: No, it didn't have to be.
1:02:14
SPEAKER_01: There's a lot of sexual abuse that happened in unconscious environments in the 60s and the 70s and the 80s.
1:02:23
SPEAKER_01: Crossing the boundaries.
1:02:25
SPEAKER_01: Crossing the boundaries.
1:02:26
SPEAKER_01: I had a friend of mine.
1:02:28
SPEAKER_01: Every time her father saw her, he patted her on the butt.
1:02:33
SPEAKER_01: She's 38.
1:02:35
SPEAKER_01: Her father's still patting her on the butt.
1:02:38
SPEAKER_01: I said, What?
1:02:41
SPEAKER_01: What why what do you do?
1:02:42
SPEAKER_01: Oh, nothing.
1:02:43
SPEAKER_01: That's just what he does.
1:02:46
SPEAKER_01: No.
1:02:48
SPEAKER_01: Shorty, that's abuse.
1:02:49
SPEAKER_01: He's done that my whole life.
1:02:50
SPEAKER_01: I know.
1:02:51
SPEAKER_01: That's a type of abuse.
1:02:53
SPEAKER_01: Walking in.
1:02:56
SPEAKER_01: Walking in.
1:02:57
SPEAKER_01: You're in the shower.
1:02:59
SPEAKER_01: Dad has there's only one bathroom.
1:03:00
SPEAKER_01: A lot of houses, three bedrooms, one bathroom.
1:03:03
SPEAKER_01: Perfectly fine, dad walking in when you're seven.
1:03:06
SPEAKER_01: But when dad's still walking in when you're 17, was dad purposely trying to visualize his 17-year-old daughter naked?
1:03:14
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
1:03:14
SPEAKER_01: I don't know your dad.
1:03:16
SPEAKER_01: But sexual abuse.
1:03:19
SPEAKER_01: Touching.
1:03:21
SPEAKER_01: Patting on the backside.
1:03:23
SPEAKER_01: Tapping the inside of the thigh, grabbing the knee, gawking, type of sexual abuse.
1:03:31
SPEAKER_01: Dad walking from the shower to his bedroom with no clothes on because it's just easier.
1:03:35
SPEAKER_01: A type of sexual abuse.
1:03:38
SPEAKER_01: I say all that.
1:03:39
SPEAKER_01: Surrogate spouse.
1:03:40
SPEAKER_01: That's a big one.
1:03:41
SPEAKER_01: That's a big one.
1:03:42
SPEAKER_01: Surrogate spouse meaning you're 18, mom's completely out of it, and dad acts like you're his emotional partner.
1:03:49
SPEAKER_01: That's a type of sexual abuse.
1:03:51
SPEAKER_01: Why do I keep mentioning all of that?
1:03:54
SPEAKER_01: Because, folks, those are the types of behavior patterns of the past.
1:04:00
SPEAKER_01: That in the past, a lot of that was normal.
1:04:04
SPEAKER_01: One house, three bedrooms, one bath, a lot of that was normal.
1:04:08
SPEAKER_01: But does that mean it didn't cause us harm?
1:04:11
SPEAKER_01: No, it did.
1:04:12
SPEAKER_01: I was talking to a woman not long ago.
1:04:13
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know, blah, blah, blah.
1:04:14
SPEAKER_01: My stepdad had a thing for me.
1:04:17
SPEAKER_01: I believe you.
1:04:18
SPEAKER_01: She's beautiful.
1:04:20
SPEAKER_01: And, you know, I'm gonna talk about how we do it differently now and why we need to heal the depths of that.
1:04:33
SPEAKER_01: People live in the illusion.
1:04:36
SPEAKER_01: Well, if I was sexually abused, I could never heal that because the pain's too bad.
1:04:42
SPEAKER_01: That's a falsehood, folks.
1:04:44
SPEAKER_01: It's just not true.
1:04:47
SPEAKER_01: I can, you can.
1:04:48
SPEAKER_01: And I wasn't even practiced grieving.
1:04:50
SPEAKER_01: And I did it all alone.
1:04:52
SPEAKER_01: I did it 30 miles from nobody.
1:04:54
SPEAKER_01: I had no one to hold my hand, no one to hold my head, and no one really even talked to.
1:04:58
SPEAKER_01: That isn't how it is today.
1:05:00
SPEAKER_01: It's not.
1:05:00
SPEAKER_01: There's plenty of people you can talk to.
1:05:02
SPEAKER_01: And why do we want to do it?
1:05:04
SPEAKER_01: Because there's a tremendous number of people.
1:05:09
SPEAKER_01: And now I'm talking from the woman's side because one predator affects 50, right?
1:05:15
SPEAKER_01: Well, those 50 women, a lot of them are doing fabulous, but they got a gnaw in their belly they just can't fix.
1:05:24
SPEAKER_01: They go and make a million dollars, they do big presentations, they're competing with men, their esteem is high, but they got a gnaw in their belly they just can't fix.
1:05:34
SPEAKER_01: They make more money than month, they're traveling the world, they're empowering women, but they got a gnaw in the belly they just can't fix.
1:05:43
SPEAKER_01: And you know what happens with that gnaw?
1:05:46
SPEAKER_01: You tend to attract a man into life.
1:05:49
SPEAKER_01: Your husbands are your business partners, are men that gawk at you, are men that make advances at you, and men that are mirroring your.
1:06:00
SPEAKER_01: Angst, your hurt, that feeling in your belly you can't seem to fix.
1:06:09
SPEAKER_01: Why?
1:06:10
SPEAKER_01: Well, you can't fix it because no amount of money, no amount of travel, no amount of speaking, no amount of a strong voice is going to heal that little girl who, when she was 12 years old, daddy wouldn't get out of the wouldn't get out of the bathroom when she got out of the shower.
1:06:26
SPEAKER_01: It's not going to heal that little girl who whose older brother took advantage of her.
1:06:32
SPEAKER_01: It's not going to heal that little girl who was in circumstances in high school and a boyfriend got too aggressive, and then when she went and told somebody, they called her a liar.
1:06:42
SPEAKER_01: No amount of money is going to heal that little girl.
1:06:46
SPEAKER_01: What does dual-hand journaling?
1:06:49
SPEAKER_01: What's the how-to?
1:06:52
SPEAKER_01: I applaud women's strength.
1:06:58
SPEAKER_01: Women are gaining a strength this era that's never been ever, ever.
1:07:07
SPEAKER_01: Sixty years ago, most women didn't even work.
1:07:11
SPEAKER_01: That was the society then.
1:07:13
SPEAKER_01: It's all changed.
1:07:15
SPEAKER_01: And now women are powerhouses, strong, empowered.
1:07:20
SPEAKER_01: And a lot of women that have come through really severe challenges, they have a sense of esteem and a sense of strength.
1:07:28
SPEAKER_01: And what I'm asking of you is don't use that strength to avoid your angst.
1:07:36
SPEAKER_01: Hear me.
1:07:38
SPEAKER_01: Don't use your strength to avoid your angst.
1:07:44
SPEAKER_01: Use your strength to protect the angst.
1:07:48
SPEAKER_01: You've got a little kid in there who needs somebody to protect her.
1:07:55
SPEAKER_01: And if you're too busy traveling, if you're too busy making the next million, if you're too busy competing with everybody, you got a little girl in there that's being treated by you unconsciously, just like she was treated her whole life unconsciously.
1:08:11
SPEAKER_01: And folks, I'm talking to the women, it's your time.
1:08:17
SPEAKER_01: Talk to somebody.
1:08:19
SPEAKER_01: Talk to somebody about the angst.
1:08:22
SPEAKER_01: Use your millions that you've made.
1:08:25
SPEAKER_01: Use your success that you've made.
1:08:27
SPEAKER_01: Use your whatever.
1:08:29
SPEAKER_01: And this is sacred.
1:08:30
SPEAKER_01: This is private.
1:08:31
SPEAKER_01: This is between you and a therapist, or you and a woman's group, or you and a good friend that can support you.
1:08:38
SPEAKER_01: And start writing down the voices of the angst.
1:08:42
SPEAKER_01: Let your angst speak to you.
1:08:46
SPEAKER_01: For example, I would say, Little Joe, how are you doing?
1:08:50
SPEAKER_01: When I had my memories, trying to get a seven-year-old to talk.
1:08:55
SPEAKER_01: And I would ask, How are you?
1:08:58
SPEAKER_01: I'm good.
1:09:00
SPEAKER_01: How are you feeling?
1:09:01
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
1:09:03
SPEAKER_01: Forever.
1:09:04
SPEAKER_01: Just closed down.
1:09:06
SPEAKER_01: Why?
1:09:06
SPEAKER_01: Because I abandoned him with every behavior pattern I did.
1:09:09
SPEAKER_01: I abandoned him just like everybody else did.
1:09:10
SPEAKER_01: I did unconsciously.
1:09:13
SPEAKER_01: So we're bringing light, we're bringing consciousness, we're bringing awareness to the angst.
1:09:19
SPEAKER_01: I talk about a show host who the new thought leader said, You have to forgive.
1:09:25
SPEAKER_01: You see the bewilderment on this woman's face.
1:09:28
SPEAKER_01: She happened to be in a relationship with her grandmother, used to beat the crap out of her and called it love.
1:09:33
SPEAKER_01: You just have to forgive her.
1:09:35
SPEAKER_01: Well, the adult can.
1:09:36
SPEAKER_01: I'm not talking about the adult.
1:09:38
SPEAKER_01: I'm not talking about your adult.
1:09:39
SPEAKER_01: Your adult's got it.
1:09:40
SPEAKER_01: The adults handled it.
1:09:42
SPEAKER_01: Your desire for success is greater than your fear of failure.
1:09:45
SPEAKER_01: I freaking get it.
1:09:47
SPEAKER_01: Wonderful.
1:09:48
SPEAKER_01: Now let's talk about the little kid, the little girl.
1:09:50
SPEAKER_01: Because there's a little girl inside who needs you.
1:09:53
SPEAKER_01: She needs you to use your bigness to protect her so she can have a voice.
1:10:00
SPEAKER_01: And that's where the dual-hand journaling comes in.
1:10:02
SPEAKER_01: Most of you women, if you take a couple months and give a voice to your angst, you would be amazed at the freedom you'll feel on the other side.
1:10:19
SPEAKER_01: Oh, it's too painful.
1:10:21
SPEAKER_01: Nonsense.
1:10:22
SPEAKER_01: I can't do it.
1:10:23
SPEAKER_01: That's BS.
1:10:24
SPEAKER_01: I don't want to.
1:10:26
SPEAKER_01: Fair.
1:10:27
SPEAKER_01: Too bad.
1:10:29
SPEAKER_01: Do it anyway.
1:10:30
SPEAKER_01: Why?
1:10:31
SPEAKER_01: Because we're the generation of change.
1:10:34
SPEAKER_01: And if you don't, you're going to raise daughters from your angst.
1:10:41
SPEAKER_01: You can empower them all you want, but if your angst is still part of your guidance system, how would that look?
1:10:49
SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm big and strong, but I keep a distance from everybody.
1:10:54
SPEAKER_01: I can speak in front of a million people, but talking to somebody one-on-one, no way.
1:11:01
SPEAKER_01: I'm everybody's favorite person.
1:11:03
SPEAKER_01: I rescue and I listen to everybody, but you don't talk to anybody.
1:11:09
SPEAKER_01: You're isolated in your own world and you claim it success because the outside world is doing well.
1:11:17
SPEAKER_01: I applaud your external success, folks.
1:11:20
SPEAKER_01: I do.
1:11:21
SPEAKER_01: I'm going to help you, though, get a mirror inside so your inside world can enjoy your success too.
1:11:30
SPEAKER_01: And I applaud all the parts you've already done the work with.
1:11:33
SPEAKER_01: I do.
1:11:33
SPEAKER_01: I think it's fantastic.
1:11:35
SPEAKER_01: I'm not talking about those parts.
1:11:36
SPEAKER_01: I'm not talking about the therapy you've done 10 years ago.
1:11:40
SPEAKER_01: I'm talking about the angst in your belly today.
1:11:43
SPEAKER_01: And that angst, if you had any type of sexual abuse and you haven't done conscious work on your victim health from being a victim of sexual abuse, it's in your world somehow, somehow.
1:11:55
SPEAKER_01: And you can heal it.
1:11:57
SPEAKER_01: You can give a voice to it.
1:11:59
SPEAKER_01: And you can ask your higher power for the strength and courage you need to feel the pain that's been in you.
1:12:06
SPEAKER_01: You can.
1:12:07
SPEAKER_01: How do I know?
1:12:07
SPEAKER_01: Because I did.
1:12:08
SPEAKER_01: If I can, you did.
1:12:11
SPEAKER_01: Now let's shift to the other side.
1:12:14
SPEAKER_01: Let's shift to you fellas out there.
1:12:16
SPEAKER_01: Lot less men, boys sexually abused than kids, than girls.
1:12:21
SPEAKER_01: They just are.
1:12:23
SPEAKER_01: And but that doesn't mean you're not a predator.
1:12:26
SPEAKER_01: That pursuing sexual interaction first, that whole idea of I can't get enough, that whole idea of I'm a man and I need it, and all that BS.
1:12:41
SPEAKER_01: I literally worked with a woman years ago, twice a day for 12 years.
1:12:49
SPEAKER_01: Her husband used her for the friction for his libido that was literally unsatiable.
1:12:58
SPEAKER_01: And she said to me as we talked, she said, and you know, Joe, what's unfortunate is every time we did it, it hurt.
1:13:05
SPEAKER_01: 12 years she lived with that.
1:13:11
SPEAKER_01: Now, interestingly enough, she had a dad that used to walk from the bathroom to the bedroom with no clothes on.
1:13:18
SPEAKER_01: Now, was she had more than that?
1:13:20
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
1:13:22
SPEAKER_01: But her, she was stuck in a belief that said, he's my husband, so I have to.
1:13:34
SPEAKER_01: Falsehood.
1:13:35
SPEAKER_01: No.
1:13:37
SPEAKER_01: No, no, and no.
1:13:40
SPEAKER_01: If your husband is using you for sex, there is a type, there's a type of abuse associated with that.
1:13:49
SPEAKER_01: And it's okay for you to say no.
1:13:52
SPEAKER_01: It is.
1:13:53
SPEAKER_01: Now, fellas, if you are in this illusion that I'm a man and I need it and I have to deny this, that's all garbage.
1:14:03
SPEAKER_01: That's a 100% garbage, flat out, non-truth lie.
1:14:10
SPEAKER_01: It is, it's all BS.
1:14:13
SPEAKER_01: The beautiful energy of sexual exchange is supposed to be from the overflow of our heart, not the satiation of our libido.
1:14:23
SPEAKER_01: It's supposed to be an exchange of energy from our heart, not the satiation in your groin.
1:14:33
SPEAKER_01: And the reason you have that massive, I can't get enough delusion is rage.
1:14:44
SPEAKER_01: The acting out of sex in a marriage, in a girlfriend, or somebody unwilling is rage.
1:14:54
SPEAKER_01: Sexual abuse is rage.
1:14:57
SPEAKER_01: Nothing else, nothing more.
1:15:00
SPEAKER_01: When it comes to the true predator, the Frank Sr.
1:15:07
SPEAKER_01: The Frank or the John Sr.
1:15:10
SPEAKER_01: Who systematically, with all his kids, systematically, probably 50, 150, who knows?
1:15:17
SPEAKER_01: That type of predator.
1:15:19
SPEAKER_01: He's a predator for power over because as a kid, he was so completely powerless.
1:15:29
SPEAKER_01: Power over because powerless.
1:15:33
SPEAKER_01: Great.
1:15:34
SPEAKER_01: Well, part of the deepest, darkest, I can't breathe pain associated with being abused sexually is powerlessness.
1:15:47
SPEAKER_01: And powerlessness is one of the single most challenging experiences to grieve and heal, because it feels like death, literally.
1:15:58
SPEAKER_01: So if you're getting close to it, have help.
1:16:01
SPEAKER_01: Have people around.
1:16:03
SPEAKER_01: Let them help you.
1:16:04
SPEAKER_01: Let them be there with you.
1:16:05
SPEAKER_01: Let somebody hold your freaking head for Christ's sake.
1:16:08
SPEAKER_01: If you're the part on this, if you're the one that's creating it, that I can't get enough.
1:16:15
SPEAKER_01: We have to start writing those voices down.
1:16:18
SPEAKER_01: And I want you to hear, I'm not judging anybody here.
1:16:21
SPEAKER_01: I'm not making anybody right or wrong.
1:16:24
SPEAKER_01: How can I speak so clearly about it?
1:16:27
SPEAKER_01: Because I was both sides.
1:16:30
SPEAKER_01: I was the predator with willing partners, and I was the victim of abuse.
1:16:37
SPEAKER_01: I was the predator with willing sexual addicted partners, and I was the person with low self-esteem, fear of abandonment, sex-equaled love, never wanted to be alone, afraid of what people thought of me.
1:16:54
SPEAKER_01: Most of the core of those low self-esteem, I'm a piece of garbage, nobody loves me, all of my hateful voices were not because of my abandonment and neglect from my parents, folks.
1:17:07
SPEAKER_01: It wasn't.
1:17:08
SPEAKER_01: It was because of the sexual abuse I went through.
1:17:11
SPEAKER_01: So abandonment and neglect, which is unconscious behavior patterns of an unconscious world, is painful enough.
1:17:20
SPEAKER_01: It is.
1:17:21
SPEAKER_01: But if you're in that other world, you can heal it.
1:17:26
SPEAKER_01: You start with identifying it.
1:17:29
SPEAKER_01: So the next time, fellas, you hear yourself, you feel yourself.
1:17:34
SPEAKER_01: I gotta have it, I need to have it.
1:17:35
SPEAKER_01: Where is my wife?
1:17:36
SPEAKER_01: She owes me, she deserves me.
1:17:38
SPEAKER_01: I'm the man, all of the BS.
1:17:41
SPEAKER_01: We need to start writing those voices down.
1:17:43
SPEAKER_01: We do.
1:17:44
SPEAKER_01: And I don't care how big you think your energetic need for libido satiation is, you can write the voices down and you can calm it.
1:17:57
SPEAKER_01: You can become free of it.
1:18:00
SPEAKER_01: I'll give you a great story.
1:18:01
SPEAKER_01: I sponsored a man one time, this is 20 years ago.
1:18:06
SPEAKER_01: He was a gay man that lived on the other side of the tracks here in Atlanta, a black kid who was a heroin addict and a drinker.
1:18:17
SPEAKER_01: So he stopped heroin a long a while back, but he was an alcoholic.
1:18:24
SPEAKER_01: So I sponsored him in the program.
1:18:26
SPEAKER_01: Name was Jimmy.
1:18:28
SPEAKER_01: And Jimmy would tell me stories.
1:18:30
SPEAKER_01: That's why I say I've heard different people's stories.
1:18:33
SPEAKER_01: By the way, my Connecticut folks just got a text tonight.
1:18:36
SPEAKER_01: She's feeling closer to God.
1:18:38
SPEAKER_01: He's back in the middle of the program, mission accomplished.
1:18:40
SPEAKER_01: God is good.
1:18:41
SPEAKER_01: For those of you that don't know that story, I supported people.
1:18:45
SPEAKER_01: He was in the program a while, fell off.
1:18:48
SPEAKER_01: Great story.
1:18:49
SPEAKER_01: It's back in a beautiful ending right now.
1:18:52
SPEAKER_01: Pray for them.
1:18:53
SPEAKER_01: Well, Jimmy, he literally, his libido was so high, was so high.
1:19:00
SPEAKER_01: He would buy heroin for a partner so he could have sex.
1:19:08
SPEAKER_01: I said to him, You're nuts.
1:19:10
SPEAKER_01: Oh no, Jimmy, but I have to have it.
1:19:14
SPEAKER_01: You're nuts.
1:19:16
SPEAKER_01: You're crazy.
1:19:17
SPEAKER_01: I was strong.
1:19:18
SPEAKER_01: I was big.
1:19:20
SPEAKER_01: I was strong, and I was loving.
1:19:22
SPEAKER_01: I was trying to save his life.
1:19:24
SPEAKER_01: So what did I do?
1:19:26
SPEAKER_01: Write it down, Jimmy.
1:19:28
SPEAKER_01: What are you talking about?
1:19:29
SPEAKER_01: Write it down.
1:19:30
SPEAKER_01: You and I are gonna sit together, you're gonna write down every one of those lies you tell yourself.
1:19:35
SPEAKER_01: I have to have it.
1:19:37
SPEAKER_01: I need it.
1:19:38
SPEAKER_01: I this.
1:19:39
SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna get into details, wouldn't be appropriate on this particular on a public thing here.
1:19:45
SPEAKER_01: But you part start putting any type of ugly, aggressive, using sexual innuendos in the first step.
1:19:54
SPEAKER_01: He had hundreds of voices.
1:19:58
SPEAKER_01: And John, out there and Mr.
1:20:00
SPEAKER_01: Who's ever listened to this podcast?
1:20:03
SPEAKER_01: Your predator behavior that you're justifying because she's your wife, you got a bunch of them too.
1:20:10
SPEAKER_01: You got a bunch of them too.
1:20:12
SPEAKER_01: Hey John, Mr.
1:20:14
SPEAKER_01: Listener to Joe's program here.
1:20:16
SPEAKER_01: Hey, Freddie, I'll call whoever.
1:20:18
SPEAKER_01: When's the last time you went 30 days without sex?
1:20:21
SPEAKER_01: When's the last time, John?
1:20:24
SPEAKER_01: We'll start asking that question too.
1:20:26
SPEAKER_01: Because you know why?
1:20:31
SPEAKER_01: That whole behavior pattern gets so skewed and then it becomes so normal, and then it's acted as if when you don't get it, that your partner's doing something wrong.
1:20:42
SPEAKER_01: That's just falsehood.
1:20:44
SPEAKER_01: So do I have anything against making love to your partner?
1:20:47
SPEAKER_01: No, I don't.
1:20:49
SPEAKER_01: But when you're doing it from a need of satiation, what you're literally doing is abandoning a little boy inside of you.
1:20:56
SPEAKER_01: You got a little kid inside of you, John.
1:20:58
SPEAKER_01: You got a little kid inside who's hurting, who needs you to stop your behaviors long enough, sit on your couch long enough so you can journal with your little kid.
1:21:11
SPEAKER_01: Please understand an insatiable libido is rage being act out.
1:21:18
SPEAKER_01: Period.
1:21:19
SPEAKER_01: Does that mean you're hurting your partner?
1:21:22
SPEAKER_01: No, not necessarily, unless you're doing it making her.
1:21:26
SPEAKER_01: And she doesn't want to, she doesn't have the courage to say no, which that's a different topic I'm not going to get into here.
1:21:31
SPEAKER_01: And I'm not judging at all.
1:21:33
SPEAKER_01: I'm asking you, Mr.
1:21:36
SPEAKER_01: Male listener here.
1:21:38
SPEAKER_01: When was the last time you went 30 days without sex?
1:21:43
SPEAKER_01: Look yourself in the mirror tomorrow morning.
1:21:45
SPEAKER_01: I don't care how old you are.
1:21:47
SPEAKER_01: When's the last time?
1:21:48
SPEAKER_01: When's the last time you went 30 days without watching pornography?
1:21:52
SPEAKER_01: You know, 100% of pornography is the acting out of rage.
1:21:57
SPEAKER_01: That's it.
1:21:59
SPEAKER_01: How does it all correlate?
1:22:01
SPEAKER_01: It all correlates because the energetic power that is generated prior to the orgasm is a power that is satiates the anger that needs to come out.
1:22:16
SPEAKER_01: It suppresses the anger that used to come out.
1:22:19
SPEAKER_01: How do I know all this?
1:22:21
SPEAKER_01: I spent months and months and months and months getting my rage out.
1:22:30
SPEAKER_01: And interestingly enough, there was a couple two or three years I'd had no female partner.
1:22:37
SPEAKER_01: Nada.
1:22:38
SPEAKER_01: Zero.
1:22:39
SPEAKER_01: So haven't had a female partner now in 10 years.
1:22:43
SPEAKER_01: So I get to ask.
1:22:46
SPEAKER_01: I do.
1:22:48
SPEAKER_01: So pornography, acting out of rage.
1:22:53
SPEAKER_01: Unsatiated libido, acting out of rage.
1:22:56
SPEAKER_01: Why do we need to stop it?
1:22:58
SPEAKER_01: Because it's acting out.
1:22:59
SPEAKER_01: It's not getting the rage out.
1:23:03
SPEAKER_01: Get back into the when was the last time you took 15 minutes?
1:23:06
SPEAKER_01: I hope any longtime listeners here have started the behavior of getting their anger out on a bed with a bat.
1:23:15
SPEAKER_01: The more you get your anger out, that's a healthy way to get it out.
1:23:20
SPEAKER_01: Acting out sexually is suppressing the rage and acting out predator.
1:23:26
SPEAKER_01: And I have to use the word predator because you're using your partner for satiation.
1:23:33
SPEAKER_01: That is not love, folks.
1:23:35
SPEAKER_01: The expression of sexual energy one-on-one is supposed to be a loving experience.
1:23:42
SPEAKER_01: Satiating your libido is not love.
1:23:44
SPEAKER_01: It's acting out.
1:23:46
SPEAKER_01: And if you're acting out, then that means you've got a little boy inside who's hurting, who needs you.
1:23:53
SPEAKER_01: He needs you to stop your behaviors long enough.
1:23:57
SPEAKER_01: So his voice can be heard, his feelings can be felt, he can become a part of your world.
1:24:04
SPEAKER_01: And what's the other side of it?
1:24:06
SPEAKER_01: Like what happens once you do it?
1:24:09
SPEAKER_01: Well, then the act of sharing intimate physical communion with the person you love becomes a spiritual event, not a satiation event.
1:24:21
SPEAKER_01: The angst in your belly that you think you're getting relief from at night because your world is so stressful.
1:24:29
SPEAKER_01: The world becomes less stressful when your rage is taken out in a healthy way.
1:24:36
SPEAKER_01: And hear me, 100% of the reason you have so much internal rage is because you've got suppressed grief underneath it.
1:24:48
SPEAKER_01: You've got a hurt little boy underneath it.
1:24:51
SPEAKER_01: Why?
1:24:52
SPEAKER_01: Because folks, we grew up 40, 50 years ago where emotional support wasn't a thing.
1:24:59
SPEAKER_01: Big boys don't cry.
1:25:01
SPEAKER_01: So I'm not blaming or shaming.
1:25:03
SPEAKER_01: I'm asking men to step up.
1:25:07
SPEAKER_01: It's time.
1:25:08
SPEAKER_01: We are the generation of change.
1:25:10
SPEAKER_01: And if I can, you can, period.
1:25:14
SPEAKER_01: I can, you can.
1:25:17
SPEAKER_01: I can.
1:25:18
SPEAKER_01: And I share that story because if we don't stop, and if the I go back to the one predator and 50, 50, typically women, if the 50 women don't heal, then they're producing offspring from a hurt position.
1:25:39
SPEAKER_01: Here's a great example.
1:25:40
SPEAKER_01: You know, there are tremendous numbers of young girls that at young, they're scolded if they say no.
1:25:49
SPEAKER_01: Scolded if they say no.
1:25:54
SPEAKER_01: Folks, if you've got a teenager, have her practice in the frickin' mirror.
1:25:59
SPEAKER_01: No.
1:26:00
SPEAKER_01: Have her practice on you, Dad.
1:26:03
SPEAKER_01: No.
1:26:03
SPEAKER_01: Have her practice.
1:26:05
SPEAKER_01: Why?
1:26:07
SPEAKER_01: Because if she doesn't practice and she doesn't know you're on her side, sooner or later she could be in a circumstance where if she says no, the person around her might put her ass on the curb.
1:26:18
SPEAKER_01: Your kids, your young people, your family members need to know that you're there for them unconditionally.
1:26:25
SPEAKER_01: You want to be the generation of change, heal yourself, and then empower the people around you.
1:26:31
SPEAKER_01: Another way to empower the people around you, this delusional ridiculousness that kids should be able to wear whatever they want?
1:26:37
SPEAKER_01: No, they shouldn't.
1:26:38
SPEAKER_01: No, they shouldn't.
1:26:41
SPEAKER_01: This delusion that kids should be out as late as they want, no.
1:26:44
SPEAKER_01: My kids, 10 o'clock.
1:26:47
SPEAKER_01: My oldest, 10 o'clock.
1:26:50
SPEAKER_01: Why?
1:26:50
SPEAKER_01: I said to him straight up, there's nothing you're gonna be doing at 17 years old after 10 o'clock that is gonna be favorable in any way, shape, or form.
1:27:01
SPEAKER_01: Zero-ness.
1:27:02
SPEAKER_01: Now I don't care if you're with your friends all day.
1:27:05
SPEAKER_01: I don't care.
1:27:06
SPEAKER_01: Actually, as he got older, he'd come home, he'd call his girlfriend at 10 o'clock.
1:27:09
SPEAKER_01: I don't care, but he's in his own room.
1:27:12
SPEAKER_01: Period.
1:27:13
SPEAKER_01: 10 o'clock.
1:27:14
SPEAKER_01: Well, they got this and they got that.
1:27:16
SPEAKER_01: No, they don't.
1:27:17
SPEAKER_01: No, they don't.
1:27:19
SPEAKER_01: I told my boys a hundred times, I'm not your friend.
1:27:21
SPEAKER_01: I'm your father.
1:27:23
SPEAKER_01: Literally.
1:27:24
SPEAKER_01: And folks, you got kids?
1:27:26
SPEAKER_01: Make sure you set boundaries.
1:27:28
SPEAKER_01: No boundaries.
1:27:30
SPEAKER_01: It's not good.
1:27:31
SPEAKER_01: Kids need boundaries.
1:27:32
SPEAKER_01: Kids need the guardrails.
1:27:34
SPEAKER_01: And I don't care if they don't like you.
1:27:36
SPEAKER_01: Good.
1:27:37
SPEAKER_01: You're not there that not there, you're not there for them to like you.
1:27:41
SPEAKER_01: You're there for them to protect them from their naivete and their needs.
1:27:47
SPEAKER_01: And tell them you love them and set boundaries.
1:27:52
SPEAKER_01: The other thing, I see some of these young girls in the dresses and the clothes they wear.
1:27:57
SPEAKER_01: I say, where in the Christ?
1:28:00
SPEAKER_01: Name is their father.
1:28:02
SPEAKER_01: No.
1:28:04
SPEAKER_01: No.
1:28:05
SPEAKER_01: Did I say no loud enough?
1:28:07
SPEAKER_01: No.
1:28:09
SPEAKER_01: I see some of these young kids out there with more skin than clothes.
1:28:14
SPEAKER_01: Zero not okay.
1:28:17
SPEAKER_01: No.
1:28:18
SPEAKER_01: And mom, if you're letting your daughter go out there with more skin than clothes, look in the mirror.
1:28:28
SPEAKER_01: Because that's not okay.
1:28:29
SPEAKER_01: Now, am I suggesting because your daughter goes out there with more skin than clothes that somebody should violate her?
1:28:37
SPEAKER_01: No, I'm not at all.
1:28:39
SPEAKER_01: Teach her, no.
1:28:42
SPEAKER_01: But also teach her esteem, teach her value, teach her worth, which is inside.
1:28:51
SPEAKER_01: The only big capital O, the only reason a girl, a child, a woman is going out and there's more skin than clothes is they're seeking attention.
1:29:02
SPEAKER_01: Zero other reason.
1:29:04
SPEAKER_01: And I don't care what lie you make up, zero other reason.
1:29:09
SPEAKER_01: Well, they need to get that attention from the parent.
1:29:12
SPEAKER_01: And then they needed to be taught how to give it to themselves.
1:29:15
SPEAKER_01: Now I'm not saying put your kids in girdles, whatever the word would be.
1:29:21
SPEAKER_01: Just appropriate.
1:29:22
SPEAKER_01: More clothes than skin.
1:29:24
SPEAKER_01: That's all.
1:29:25
SPEAKER_01: Period.
1:29:26
SPEAKER_01: Why?
1:29:27
SPEAKER_01: Because when a kid is allowed to do whatever the hell the kid wants to do, they're going to do what all their friends are doing.
1:29:33
SPEAKER_01: And that's not good.
1:29:34
SPEAKER_01: You want your kid to be the unique one.
1:29:37
SPEAKER_01: You want your kid to stand strong.
1:29:38
SPEAKER_01: You want your kid to stand up.
1:29:41
SPEAKER_01: How do you create a leader?
1:29:44
SPEAKER_01: You create a leader because they know you've got their back when it's them against their entire community.
1:29:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, a kid needs that.
1:29:52
SPEAKER_01: I've done that with my boys their whole lives.
1:29:55
SPEAKER_01: And now my oldest, he's a leader out there all by himself.
1:29:59
SPEAKER_01: He is.
1:29:59
SPEAKER_01: Why?
1:30:00
SPEAKER_01: Because he had boundaries and strength and he could always turn to me.
1:30:03
SPEAKER_01: Now he doesn't need to.
1:30:04
SPEAKER_01: He's 20 years old, he does his own thing.
1:30:08
SPEAKER_01: So this whole idea that you're your kid's friends, no.
1:30:12
SPEAKER_01: Teach your kids, no, set boundaries, let them be mad.
1:30:18
SPEAKER_01: Too bad.
1:30:19
SPEAKER_01: Why?
1:30:21
SPEAKER_01: Because when they get older, they'll be better off.
1:30:25
SPEAKER_01: And that's all part of us being the generation of change.
1:30:29
SPEAKER_01: We truly are.
1:30:30
SPEAKER_01: The last thing I want to talk about is why we literally, this whole concept is shifting.
1:30:39
SPEAKER_01: I don't know the stats.
1:30:40
SPEAKER_01: I don't know numbers.
1:30:42
SPEAKER_01: I don't, but I do know the way I don't even remember the names I gave them.
1:30:47
SPEAKER_01: Frank and John treated, and the guy pimped his wife and all of that 100 years ago.
1:30:53
SPEAKER_01: That doesn't exist anymore.
1:30:55
SPEAKER_01: Let me put it this way.
1:30:57
SPEAKER_01: This particular experience was happening in a residential neighborhood.
1:31:02
SPEAKER_01: An entire community watched strange men go in and out of a house every day.
1:31:12
SPEAKER_01: I'm not talking about that.
1:31:14
SPEAKER_01: This particular family was a normal, you go to church on Sunday, him and the wife.
1:31:20
SPEAKER_01: That doesn't happen much anymore.
1:31:22
SPEAKER_01: I don't think it does.
1:31:23
SPEAKER_01: I really don't.
1:31:24
SPEAKER_01: And I firmly believe it's because the generation of change were waking up to difference.
1:31:29
SPEAKER_01: That was an extreme case, but I think years ago it was much more normal than not.
1:31:35
SPEAKER_01: I think it's less normal now.
1:31:38
SPEAKER_01: The whole the FBI and getting pedophiles off the streets, like my friend, who my client, that's a whole new thing.
1:31:48
SPEAKER_01: That's more and more active out there.
1:31:50
SPEAKER_01: There's a whole world that's protecting and helping and creating a safer environment.
1:31:58
SPEAKER_01: And not talking about that.
1:32:00
SPEAKER_01: I'm talking about us who went through it.
1:32:04
SPEAKER_01: It's time for us to heal ourselves.
1:32:08
SPEAKER_01: So we're living life from a wholeness, not 80% grand and 20% angst.
1:32:16
SPEAKER_01: You deserve the freedom of a hundred percent wholeness.
1:32:20
SPEAKER_01: Folks, I live from a freedom of a hundred percent wholeness because I gave a voice to the darkest parts.
1:32:29
SPEAKER_01: I gave a voice to the deepest parts.
1:32:32
SPEAKER_01: I grieved the depths of dark all by myself.
1:32:38
SPEAKER_01: That's how I know that if I can, you can.
1:32:42
SPEAKER_01: And this whole it happened so often, that doesn't matter.
1:32:46
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't matter how often it happened.
1:32:49
SPEAKER_01: That doesn't cause you to have to grieve more.
1:32:53
SPEAKER_01: Falsehood.
1:32:54
SPEAKER_01: It's not true.
1:32:56
SPEAKER_01: It's not.
1:32:57
SPEAKER_01: You can grieve the whole concept of being your little kid starts grieving the concept of being traumatized as a kid.
1:33:06
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't matter if you're traumatized once or traumatized 50 times.
1:33:10
SPEAKER_01: When the kid is grieving, she's grieving all of it as one.
1:33:13
SPEAKER_01: It's not you, oh, if you were traumatized 50 times, you have to grieve 50 times.
1:33:17
SPEAKER_01: No, that isn't how it works.
1:33:19
SPEAKER_01: It's not, it's false.
1:33:21
SPEAKER_01: You grieve it all at one time.
1:33:24
SPEAKER_01: And you've got the strength, you've got the support, you've got the wisdom.
1:33:30
SPEAKER_01: Like my opening said, so many things that we gained give us the ability now to go deeper and embrace deeper.
1:33:39
SPEAKER_01: Why?
1:33:40
SPEAKER_01: Because as you actually come to the place to where there's a hundred percent of you out in the world, that's where you start giving back more.
1:33:48
SPEAKER_01: My friend that I drove to Florida, and this is 15 years ago.
1:33:54
SPEAKER_01: When I was supporting him in that 10, 12, 15-week period of time, I was 100% in favor.
1:34:01
SPEAKER_01: He broke the law.
1:34:02
SPEAKER_01: He's going to jail.
1:34:03
SPEAKER_01: I was at his trial.
1:34:04
SPEAKER_01: I heard it all.
1:34:05
SPEAKER_01: He broke the law.
1:34:06
SPEAKER_01: I was never against him going to jail.
1:34:09
SPEAKER_01: I was helping him heal and acknowledging and having empathy for his pain while I condemned his behavior.
1:34:17
SPEAKER_01: No, that was stupid what you did, and you're going to prison for 110 months.
1:34:22
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so that concept we've talked about that.
1:34:25
SPEAKER_01: That's done.
1:34:25
SPEAKER_01: Now let's heal the reason why.
1:34:28
SPEAKER_01: And this particular kid, he had plenty of deep wound inside there that I helped him start getting to.
1:34:35
SPEAKER_01: I helped him get started the process of a higher power.
1:34:38
SPEAKER_01: And lo and behold, in the 110 months he was in prison, he did a lot of inner work.
1:34:43
SPEAKER_01: He did a lot of work with a therapist.
1:34:46
SPEAKER_01: He got really in touch with his church and he started doing communion in his church.
1:34:50
SPEAKER_01: He came out of there completely different human.
1:34:52
SPEAKER_01: Now, this is probably, he's probably been out of prison 20 years, 15 years, long time.
1:34:58
SPEAKER_01: So you can heal.
1:35:00
SPEAKER_01: You can.
1:35:10
SPEAKER_01: I didn't see him as a horrible human.
1:35:12
SPEAKER_01: I saw him as a hurting human who broke the law.
1:35:16
SPEAKER_01: So I drove him to prison and I had empathy for his pain.
1:35:20
SPEAKER_01: Why?
1:35:21
SPEAKER_01: Because I healed my pain.
1:35:23
SPEAKER_01: And that's how we help heal other people.
1:35:26
SPEAKER_01: There are more and more organizations out there.
1:35:29
SPEAKER_01: There's two organizations, one called We Fight Monsters, who this man, I'm hoping to have him on the show.
1:35:36
SPEAKER_01: He's literally a heroin addict himself on the south side of Memphis 10, 12 years ago.
1:35:42
SPEAKER_01: And he made a covenant to God.
1:35:44
SPEAKER_01: You get me out of here, I'll come back and get everybody.
1:35:46
SPEAKER_01: And sure enough, he is, one house at a time.
1:35:49
SPEAKER_01: Over time, I'm going to help raise money for that.
1:35:52
SPEAKER_01: He's going to be one of my primary, my Joe, personal money giving to that organization because he's literally helping close down heroin houses, turning them into safe houses, helping these people one at a time.
1:36:06
SPEAKER_01: Another organization's creating this thing called She Power AI.
1:36:10
SPEAKER_01: Do you know that the mass number of women that are pulled out of trafficking go back because it's the only way they know how to make money?
1:36:19
SPEAKER_01: As horrible as that seems and sounds, it's true.
1:36:24
SPEAKER_01: Well, this particular person is creating an online presence using AI to where over time, that's going to be a big thing I promote on the Wii Podcast, that particular site when it's up and functioning, because she's offering a service for women who need to make money online so they can support themselves and their family and their kids.
1:36:50
SPEAKER_01: So they don't have to go back into the torture of such a horrible world because they have other ways of surviving.
1:36:59
SPEAKER_01: The technology of today helps us heal the emotional wounds of our yesterday, also.
1:37:06
SPEAKER_01: The community is so much smaller today because of technology, literally.
1:37:11
SPEAKER_01: When I healed my stuff, I didn't have a cell phone.
1:37:14
SPEAKER_01: I had a landline.
1:37:16
SPEAKER_01: There was no internet.
1:37:17
SPEAKER_01: All that's different now.
1:37:19
SPEAKER_01: And that's why, from the physical side of things, right?
1:37:23
SPEAKER_01: Literally, from the physical side of things, technology, finance, long-term, long-term caregivers, generation lap, the four major things I talk about, how we're healing the physical ailments of the world.
1:37:37
SPEAKER_01: Water is my thing across the globe, especially Africa.
1:37:41
SPEAKER_01: Those are all physical ailments I see, scars of the world, 400 million people not having water.
1:37:48
SPEAKER_01: Well, technology also helps us heal and gives us the support needed to heal each one of us individually, deeper and deeper and deeper in the wounds of self.
1:38:00
SPEAKER_01: The how-to.
1:38:01
SPEAKER_01: And that's why the We Podcast is the number one emotional growth, human transformation podcast.
1:38:08
SPEAKER_01: The emotional growth part is hey guys, you have an unsatiable appetite for sex, that's anger and a hurt little kid.
1:38:17
SPEAKER_01: Wake up.
1:38:18
SPEAKER_01: That's a spiritual awakening possibility.
1:38:21
SPEAKER_01: The next time you hear yourself not being able to be sexually satiated, take a second.
1:38:28
SPEAKER_01: Journal with your little kid, write down the voices.
1:38:31
SPEAKER_01: Hey gals, if you remember or don't remember some types of trauma of your past, it doesn't have to be sexual.
1:38:38
SPEAKER_01: Whatever the trauma is, you haven't healed it yet.
1:38:40
SPEAKER_01: If you haven't given a voice to the little girl, it's time.
1:38:44
SPEAKER_01: Why?
1:38:44
SPEAKER_01: Because that little girl in you wants to travel when you travel.
1:38:48
SPEAKER_01: She wants to be up on stage with you when you're up on stage.
1:38:51
SPEAKER_01: She wants to play and be have fun when you're skiing and doing everything else.
1:38:55
SPEAKER_01: The angst in your belly, we can heal it.
1:38:58
SPEAKER_01: We can.
1:38:59
SPEAKER_01: You heal it by journaling and getting help.
1:39:03
SPEAKER_01: The We Podcast is an awareness podcast, folks.
1:39:07
SPEAKER_01: Over time, I'm going to continue to have places I can point you.
1:39:10
SPEAKER_01: I had such a passion for this divorce post concept.
1:39:13
SPEAKER_01: Never met these people.
1:39:15
SPEAKER_01: Other, you know, divorce posts that didn't really fit a whole lot in this episode, but it's a website.
1:39:20
SPEAKER_01: If you know somebody who's getting a divorce, send them.
1:39:23
SPEAKER_01: Technology, you name it.
1:39:26
SPEAKER_01: Over time, I'm going to have more and more.
1:39:28
SPEAKER_01: And I'm going to put them right on the directory on the front of my podcast.
1:39:32
SPEAKER_01: So you'll be able to go right to the website.
1:39:34
SPEAKER_01: Click on.
1:39:35
SPEAKER_01: I look at all these big websites out.
1:39:37
SPEAKER_01: I get look at all these big podcasts.
1:39:38
SPEAKER_01: And when you go to their directory, everything they're promoting is themselves.
1:39:43
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, that's great.
1:39:46
SPEAKER_01: People already know you.
1:39:47
SPEAKER_01: You're the face of the website.
1:39:48
SPEAKER_01: You're the face of the podcast.
1:39:50
SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm not the face, I'm the voice.
1:39:54
SPEAKER_01: And I'm going to have people literally in the directory of my podcast, of the We podcast, down here at the bottom.
1:40:00
SPEAKER_01: Hey, you have somebody who's going through a divorce, go there.
1:40:02
SPEAKER_01: You have somebody that is, you know, um needs support with abuse, go here.
1:40:08
SPEAKER_01: I'm going to have it right there.
1:40:09
SPEAKER_01: Why?
1:40:10
SPEAKER_01: Because, folks, that's how we heal.
1:40:12
SPEAKER_01: What's Joe's passion?
1:40:14
SPEAKER_01: Joe's passion is to help humanity heal.
1:40:16
SPEAKER_01: That's it.
1:40:17
SPEAKER_01: All they want to do is sleep at night, and I sleep at night because I know I'm helping.
1:40:22
SPEAKER_01: Every time I can help one person, it makes my seven years worth it.
1:40:28
SPEAKER_01: That's just the honesty God's truth.
1:40:30
SPEAKER_01: Conversations like this are not easy.
1:40:33
SPEAKER_01: I don't want to have to have this type of conversation, but I have to.
1:40:37
SPEAKER_01: Why?
1:40:38
SPEAKER_01: Because we're doing it.
1:40:40
SPEAKER_01: I've did it, and so can you.
1:40:43
SPEAKER_01: Period.
1:40:43
SPEAKER_01: What's my message?
1:40:44
SPEAKER_01: If I can, you can.
1:40:46
SPEAKER_01: And I'm not even freaking good at it.
1:40:47
SPEAKER_01: I'm just a bulldozer.
1:40:49
SPEAKER_01: I had no help.
1:40:50
SPEAKER_01: You have help.
1:40:51
SPEAKER_01: And you have esteem and you have wealth and you have all the other things that I didn't have.
1:40:56
SPEAKER_01: Every component of my life was against me healing the depths.
1:41:00
SPEAKER_01: Most of you on this podcast, that's not the case.
1:41:03
SPEAKER_01: I would have to go hungry.
1:41:06
SPEAKER_01: Hear me.
1:41:07
SPEAKER_01: To have money for my therapy session.
1:41:08
SPEAKER_01: I wouldn't eat it for a week almost.
1:41:10
SPEAKER_01: Most of you on this podcast, you're not there.
1:41:13
SPEAKER_01: Most of you have plenty of money.
1:41:14
SPEAKER_01: You can get plenty of help.
1:41:16
SPEAKER_01: And why do you want to do it?
1:41:18
SPEAKER_01: Because you get the reward of the freedom of the angst while you're living the rest of your world.
1:41:24
SPEAKER_01: It's not an all-encompassing event, it's a freedom event.
1:41:28
SPEAKER_01: And you deserve the freedom.
1:41:29
SPEAKER_01: You do.
1:41:31
SPEAKER_01: And that's how we heal, folks.
1:41:33
SPEAKER_01: The how-to give a voice to the darkest parts.
1:41:37
SPEAKER_01: Give a voice to your inner child.
1:41:39
SPEAKER_01: Hear the crazy, write the voices.
1:41:42
SPEAKER_01: Feel the angst.
1:41:44
SPEAKER_01: Ask.
1:41:46
SPEAKER_01: How are you feeling?
1:41:47
SPEAKER_01: Go get my book, filling the void.
1:41:50
SPEAKER_01: Join one of the book clubs.
1:41:52
SPEAKER_01: We're gonna have a bunch of book clubs.
1:41:54
SPEAKER_01: We just created a personal 76 pages.
1:41:57
SPEAKER_01: You'll be able to do all of these exercises, all quoting me out of that book, joemittiga.com.
1:42:03
SPEAKER_01: Go get my book.
1:42:04
SPEAKER_01: It will help reclaim a part of you that's waiting for you.
1:42:09
SPEAKER_01: And as we do that, we heal.
1:42:12
SPEAKER_01: As we do that, we help somebody else heal.
1:42:15
SPEAKER_01: And as more and more of us give back, and more and more of us feel full, and more and more of us give a voice to the deeper parts, then more and more of us feel better.
1:42:24
SPEAKER_01: And we're sharing with the world.
1:42:26
SPEAKER_01: And it's in the sharing of the world, is how we heal the world.
1:42:31
SPEAKER_01: One smile at a time.
1:42:34
SPEAKER_01: And from around the world, welcome to We.
1:42:45
SPEAKER_00: So that's it for today's episode of the We Podcast.
1:42:49
SPEAKER_00: Head on over to Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen and subscribe to the show.
1:42:53
SPEAKER_00: One lucky listener every single week that posts a review on Apple Podcasts or iTunes will win a chance the grand prize drawing to win a$25,000 private VIP day with Joe himself.
1:43:08
SPEAKER_00: Be sure to head on over to WePodcast.