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393. Growth Mindset vs Fixed Mindset - The Mental Shift That Will Change Your Life · Do You F*cking Mind?

0:12
Speaker 1: Hello, beautiful beans, and welcome to the podcast episode of Today.
0:15
Speaker 1: So in this podcast episode, we're going to be talking
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Speaker 1: about growth mindset versus fixed mindset. I have referenced this
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Speaker 1: a lot, I've brushed on it, and I go more
0:24
Speaker 1: in depth about it in my latest book, How to
0:27
Speaker 1: Chase Change in the audiobooks. If you've listened to my audiobook,
0:30
Speaker 1: you'll know that I definitely touched on this substantially because
0:34
Speaker 1: it is It literally frames how we approach any task,
0:39
Speaker 1: any challenge in our life. It frames how we approach
0:43
Speaker 1: our goals, what kind of drive we're going to have
0:45
Speaker 1: when we approach our goals, the mindset around our abilities
0:50
Speaker 1: and our capabilities. It's you know how I talk about
0:54
Speaker 1: you know, your perception de terms your reality. This is
0:56
Speaker 1: kind of a very great like psychological foundation of why
1:01
Speaker 1: that is the truth. And once you really grasp the
1:04
Speaker 1: difference between a growth mindset and a fixed mindset and
1:07
Speaker 1: more importantly, how to switch from fixed to growth, everything
1:12
Speaker 1: can change for you. Absolutely everything can change for you.
1:15
Speaker 1: It's like night and day. Okay. You can go from
1:18
Speaker 1: someone who feels limited, scared, who's like this is the
1:21
Speaker 1: ceiling for me, this is it to someone who is
1:24
Speaker 1: not afraid of failure. You just approach it completely differently.
1:27
Speaker 1: You're able to achieve so much more when you come
1:30
Speaker 1: across a challenge. The way your mind processes a challenge
1:33
Speaker 1: is completely different to how it used to be, and
1:35
Speaker 1: therefore you're able to achieve so much more with your
1:39
Speaker 1: life and with you know, like your time. It is
1:42
Speaker 1: for me, if there's one thing that you're going to
1:44
Speaker 1: focus on to really maximize your time on this earth,
1:47
Speaker 1: it is growth mindset versus fixed mindset. So hopefully I
1:51
Speaker 1: have sold it to you. If I haven't sold it
1:54
Speaker 1: to you. With that, then fucking go to bed, turn
1:56
Speaker 1: the lights off, and have a siesta, and then return
1:59
Speaker 1: to me when you're motivated or when you're pumped. Anyway,
2:03
Speaker 1: we're going to get straight into it. So basically, the
2:06
Speaker 1: concept of growth mindset and fixed mindset was developed by
2:09
Speaker 1: a psychologist. Her name is Carol Dweck. So she did
2:13
Speaker 1: a lot of research on intelligence, learning, motivation. She did
2:16
Speaker 1: a lot of studies on children and on teenagers adolescents,
2:20
Speaker 1: and she introduced these ideas of growth mindset versus fixed
2:24
Speaker 1: mindset in her two thousand and six book which is
2:27
Speaker 1: called Mindset The New Psychology of Success, but she was
2:30
Speaker 1: talking about this earlier than that as well. But that's
2:33
Speaker 1: a book that is worth having a read if you're interested.
2:36
Speaker 1: So basically, let's talk about the difference between the two.
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Speaker 1: I'm going to break it down into what that looks
2:44
Speaker 1: like in the real world as well, and I'm also
2:46
Speaker 1: going to brush over a few of her studies as well,
2:49
Speaker 1: and then I'm going to go into how it is
2:50
Speaker 1: that you can go from a fixed mindset to a
2:54
Speaker 1: growth mindset. So a growth mindset believe. Someone with growth
2:58
Speaker 1: mindset believes that intelligence, abilities, and talents can be developed
3:04
Speaker 1: through effort. Okay. So they understand that when you're learning something,
3:10
Speaker 1: when you're persistent with something, it will cause you to
3:13
Speaker 1: then increase your abilities, increase your intelligence, increase your talents. Okay,
3:19
Speaker 1: So they look at it as a correlation. The harder
3:21
Speaker 1: I work, the likelihood of me getting better at this
3:24
Speaker 1: is going to go up. Okay. They view people with
3:26
Speaker 1: the growth mindset view challenges and opportunities, sorry, view challenges
3:30
Speaker 1: as opportunities for growth instead of an obstacle. So when
3:35
Speaker 1: they come across a challenge, they think this must equal
3:39
Speaker 1: me growing because once I can overcome the challenge. I'm
3:42
Speaker 1: going to be much better off than what I was
3:44
Speaker 1: before this. I came across this challenge. And they look
3:46
Speaker 1: at challenges as this is my chance now to grow
3:50
Speaker 1: into that next phase of myself. Okay. They don't look
3:52
Speaker 1: at it as something that's scary or something that represents
3:55
Speaker 1: that not being good enough. They embrace failure as a
3:58
Speaker 1: learning experience. So when they do, they it doesn't mean
4:01
Speaker 1: that they're thrilled to fail, but they're able to look
4:03
Speaker 1: at it and be like, why did I fail? I
4:06
Speaker 1: mustn't have studied hard enough. I definitely didn't study that enough.
4:09
Speaker 1: And I know I did really poorly in these things
4:11
Speaker 1: and I could have studied more on that. So they
4:13
Speaker 1: use failure as a way to kind of rehash what
4:16
Speaker 1: they've done and think, Okay, how am I going to
4:18
Speaker 1: approach this differently next time. So it's very much a tool,
4:20
Speaker 1: a very useful tool for them. They value effort and
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Speaker 1: hard work over innate ability, so they instead of thinking, oh,
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Speaker 1: I was born this way, I'm talented. They like knowing
4:31
Speaker 1: that they are. Or you know, when people say oh,
4:33
Speaker 1: you're gifted or whatever, it's like, no, no, it's not
4:34
Speaker 1: about being gifted it's I've worked for this and I've
4:37
Speaker 1: earned this, and therefore it means that anyone could if
4:40
Speaker 1: they put in that amount of effort and time and
4:43
Speaker 1: resources into learning the same thing. They also and lastly,
4:47
Speaker 1: they believe that feedback is useful and it helps the performance.
4:51
Speaker 1: That an't shy away from feedback. They welcome feedback. They're
4:55
Speaker 1: also the kind of person that you know if they
4:57
Speaker 1: didn't do well in a job interview, They're the kind
4:59
Speaker 1: of person that reach out and say, would you mind
5:01
Speaker 1: giving me feedback on what it was about my application?
5:04
Speaker 1: What's lacking was it in the interview? Like they are
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Speaker 1: not scared to hear they want the feedback. They're like,
5:09
Speaker 1: I need to know the good and the bad because
5:12
Speaker 1: it's really going to help shape how I'm going to
5:14
Speaker 1: approach the next thing moving forward. So as you can
5:16
Speaker 1: imagine if someone if you you yourself are this kind
5:19
Speaker 1: of person, or you know someone like this, it's a
5:21
Speaker 1: very flexible mind. It's very flexible. You're not attached, your
5:26
Speaker 1: identity isn't attached to the outcome. It's more about the
5:30
Speaker 1: learning process and how much change you can create for
5:34
Speaker 1: yourself within your life. How much is actually within your control.
5:37
Speaker 1: The opposite of this is something called a fixed mindset. Okay,
5:41
Speaker 1: So people with a fixed mindset believe that intelligence abilities
5:44
Speaker 1: are static and cannot be significantly changed. Okay, so you're
5:49
Speaker 1: either born smart, you're either born an athlete, or you're not. Okay.
5:55
Speaker 1: They avoid challenges like something that's truly challenging you to
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Speaker 1: a fear of failure because imagine, if you believe that
6:04
Speaker 1: your intelligence or your abilities have a cap, there's a cap,
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Speaker 1: there's a ceiling to it, and you're born with that.
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Speaker 1: You can't really add onto that. Then the thought of
6:14
Speaker 1: failure means that's my I've met my limit. I've met
6:19
Speaker 1: my limit, and I can never go further than that.
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Speaker 1: So what does that mean about me? So it's scary,
6:23
Speaker 1: and you don't want to meet that limit. So you're
6:25
Speaker 1: always going to perform just below that limit because you
6:28
Speaker 1: don't want to be confronted with what you believe is like,
6:30
Speaker 1: I can't ever do better than that, And if my
6:33
Speaker 1: identity is the outcome and I've failed, what is that
6:36
Speaker 1: saying about myself? They see effort as fruitless if someone
6:43
Speaker 1: is not naturally good at something, because they think if
6:46
Speaker 1: this is kind of it's either an innate ability and
6:49
Speaker 1: it can't really be changed, then why am I going
6:51
Speaker 1: to try and try and try If it's just for example,
6:54
Speaker 1: you're someone that's like, oh, my balance isn't that great.
6:56
Speaker 1: I'm not going to be good at surfing. You try surfing,
6:59
Speaker 1: you're falling over, you can't stand up. At no point
7:01
Speaker 1: can you stand up. So you think that say told you,
7:04
Speaker 1: I'm not good at balance. I can't get up, I
7:06
Speaker 1: can't surf. It's just never going to happen. I'm not
7:09
Speaker 1: a good surfer. So then you look at other people
7:12
Speaker 1: going for the next lesson, then the next lesson, and
7:13
Speaker 1: you're like, why would I bother trying again when I'm
7:17
Speaker 1: not good at it. That's kind of the mentality, whereas
7:20
Speaker 1: someone with a growth mindset is like, oh my god,
7:22
Speaker 1: that was fine, and I kind of sent me stood
7:24
Speaker 1: up and then I did it at this and maybe
7:25
Speaker 1: oh I kind of felt a little bit more stable
7:27
Speaker 1: when I did it this way. Maybe I need to
7:29
Speaker 1: be forward more forward on the board next time. Maybe
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Speaker 1: I need to And so they're already thinking what could
7:34
Speaker 1: this look like next time? What could I try next time?
7:36
Speaker 1: They go the next time, maybe they stand up for
7:38
Speaker 1: a couple of seconds and they go the next and
7:40
Speaker 1: before you know, this person's surfing versus the other person.
7:42
Speaker 1: And none of them had an actual innate ability to surf,
7:45
Speaker 1: because this is one of the things you're obviously not
7:47
Speaker 1: born with. You have to actually try. But people with
7:50
Speaker 1: a fixed mindset, and I'm using that as an example,
7:53
Speaker 1: but they this can be applied to anything, use this
7:56
Speaker 1: kind of mentality. This is very, very common when it
8:00
Speaker 1: comes to books smart or academic intelligence. You will see
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Speaker 1: a lot of people being like, I'm not academic, I'm
8:06
Speaker 1: not academic. I'm just not book smart. That is a
8:10
Speaker 1: form of fixed mindset because unless you can say, you know,
8:14
Speaker 1: and even when it comes down to I'm not book smart,
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Speaker 1: you can say I've given it a red hot go
8:19
Speaker 1: it's not my thing. I don't enjoy it, I don't
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Speaker 1: like studying. That's fine to be like, that's not what
8:24
Speaker 1: really lights my fire. Nothing wrong with that. But I
8:27
Speaker 1: don't believe that you can just say I'm not intelligent.
8:31
Speaker 1: You know. I just feel like if you really put
8:34
Speaker 1: your mind to it, Like, what I find really interesting
8:37
Speaker 1: is a lot of people would say to me, oh
8:38
Speaker 1: my god, you must be so smart. You must be
8:40
Speaker 1: so smart when I was doing the Masters, and I'm like,
8:42
Speaker 1: this has nothing to do with intelligence, and I don't
8:44
Speaker 1: deem myself necessarily smarter. If anything, I look at a
8:47
Speaker 1: lot of the people around me, and I'm like, wow,
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Speaker 1: if only I could, you know, especially in the degree
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Speaker 1: and the people that were studying around me, I like, wow,
8:53
Speaker 1: imagine if I had their intelligence, or if I had
8:55
Speaker 1: It's not like I'm viewing myself as necessarily intelligent or
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Speaker 1: not intelligent, but I was kind of looking at at
9:02
Speaker 1: any one if you guys could do what I'm doing,
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Speaker 1: if you were interested and if you wanted to dedicate
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Speaker 1: the time. I don't think that what I do or
9:09
Speaker 1: what a lot of other people do, whatever, it's not
9:11
Speaker 1: really a mark of I'm born more intelligent, not at all.
9:14
Speaker 1: And also I felt like it was almost like a
9:16
Speaker 1: bit of a slap and face. I wanted to be
9:17
Speaker 1: recognized for the amount of effort that I had put
9:19
Speaker 1: into what I did. I'm like, don't tell me I
9:21
Speaker 1: was born smart, because I absolutely was not. This is
9:23
Speaker 1: effort and I liked. I liked the acknowledgment of effort
9:28
Speaker 1: more so than the acknowledgment of me being intelligent. Okay,
9:31
Speaker 1: I preferred that. I preferred people knowing that I had
9:34
Speaker 1: to actually work hard for it, then it just came
9:36
Speaker 1: easy to me. So yeah, they say effort is fruitless.
9:40
Speaker 1: So if you're not naturally good at something, they're not
9:42
Speaker 1: going to bother investing too much time and effort into it.
9:45
Speaker 1: They view failure as a reflection of inherent lack of ability. Okay,
9:52
Speaker 1: now I want you to really ask yourself, which one
9:53
Speaker 1: of these am I? Because if you're someone who's a
9:55
Speaker 1: fixed mindset, admit it to yourself because this can change
9:59
Speaker 1: and in not that much time. Okay, But if you
10:02
Speaker 1: are someone then when you fail, you're like, I'm never
10:05
Speaker 1: doing that again. Oh my god, Oh my god, Like
10:07
Speaker 1: I'm in I seed, that's I'm not that smart. I
10:10
Speaker 1: thought it was smart. I'm like oh ah. And it
10:11
Speaker 1: just really affects you when you fail at something versus
10:15
Speaker 1: like yeah, yeah, like for sure, I was not as
10:18
Speaker 1: prepared as the person next to me, or like, oh
10:19
Speaker 1: for sure like and sometimes there are external factors that
10:23
Speaker 1: can affect the outcome of you know, a performance of something,
10:25
Speaker 1: or how you performed on a test or whatever. But
10:27
Speaker 1: in general, I think people with a growth mindset can
10:31
Speaker 1: look at it and be like, I know I could
10:33
Speaker 1: have studied harder. I know there was stuff I could
10:35
Speaker 1: have done that really didn't use absolutely everything in my
10:38
Speaker 1: tank to do this thing, versus someone who if they're like, oh,
10:42
Speaker 1: I'm pretty smart, I've studied what I need to study
10:44
Speaker 1: in pretty smart, and then they fail, they're like, what
10:46
Speaker 1: is this saying about my inherent lack of ability? I
10:50
Speaker 1: am not able to do this. And then when then
10:53
Speaker 1: they're like, I can't test, I don't test well, I
10:54
Speaker 1: don't test well, then they panic in a test because
10:56
Speaker 1: they've got this fixed mindset of their ability. Okay. They
11:00
Speaker 1: also tend to ignore criticism or they will take it
11:04
Speaker 1: extremely personally. Instead of using criticism as a way of improving,
11:09
Speaker 1: they'll look at it as a stab to them, as
11:12
Speaker 1: a stab to their identity. It really hurts when they
11:15
Speaker 1: receive criticism because if they've got this belief that they
11:19
Speaker 1: can't really change what they're doing, then criticism would hurt
11:23
Speaker 1: because it's like, well, I can't do anything about it.
11:25
Speaker 1: It's like when someone criticizes your appearance, there's only you
11:28
Speaker 1: can't really do much about your appearance, so it's a
11:31
Speaker 1: personal attack. So but when someone gives criticism around performance,
11:36
Speaker 1: they perceive it in the same way as if someone
11:38
Speaker 1: was just attacking you. Okay, that's the same reaction they're
11:42
Speaker 1: going to have in their body. Now, let's look at
11:44
Speaker 1: this as far as like real world impact. So Carol
11:49
Speaker 1: Dweck this research that she's done, and she's fucking go
11:53
Speaker 1: check her out if you're interested in this topic. There's
11:55
Speaker 1: so much published work by Carol Dwek, by doctor Carroll.
11:58
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure she's the doctor. It's just amazing. She's
12:03
Speaker 1: got a great body of work. But all her research,
12:05
Speaker 1: it's been applied in education, in business, in sport, in
12:08
Speaker 1: personal development. For example, in education, she found that students
12:12
Speaker 1: with a growth mindset are way more likely to persist
12:16
Speaker 1: in difficult subjects. So they're like, I haven't done well,
12:18
Speaker 1: but I can keep going, I can keep trying. I
12:20
Speaker 1: keep trying. I'll try it this way, this way, this way,
12:22
Speaker 1: this way, this way, and because of that, they actually
12:24
Speaker 1: end up performing better than people with a fixed mindset.
12:28
Speaker 1: In the workplace, they found that employees who have a
12:30
Speaker 1: growth mindset are a lot more adaptable, and on top
12:33
Speaker 1: of that, they're also very open to feedback and can
12:36
Speaker 1: use that feedback in a positive way, so they actually
12:38
Speaker 1: get further in their careers in relationship and personal goals.
12:42
Speaker 1: People with a growth mindset are more resilient and they're
12:45
Speaker 1: much better at overcoming setbacks within a relationship. They'll look
12:50
Speaker 1: at it as this is something that can be improved on,
12:52
Speaker 1: this is something that we can work on. This is
12:54
Speaker 1: They don't look at it as like, well, if this
12:55
Speaker 1: isn't gonna work, it's not gonna work. It can't get better.
12:58
Speaker 1: This is it. This is who I am. I can't
12:59
Speaker 1: change I can't. You know you better, You take me
13:01
Speaker 1: for my good, you take me for my bad, all
13:02
Speaker 1: of that, and they kind of shut off. They can't
13:04
Speaker 1: take criticism. So they really struggle in relationships and they
13:07
Speaker 1: struggle with the relationship with themselves as well. So let's
13:11
Speaker 1: look at I want to bring up two studies that
13:13
Speaker 1: Carol did that I think very very good. So one
13:17
Speaker 1: of them is it's known as the Praise Experiment. This
13:20
Speaker 1: was run in nineteen ninety eight and it was the
13:23
Speaker 1: researchers were Carol Dwak and Claudia Muller. So the objective
13:26
Speaker 1: of this study was to test how different types of
13:29
Speaker 1: praise affected children's motivation and resilience after failure. Now, this
13:33
Speaker 1: is so fascinating if you're a parent or if you
13:36
Speaker 1: work with children. Fucking this is gold. This is worth
13:41
Speaker 1: its weight in gold. Okay. So the method was so
13:44
Speaker 1: they used a study sample of around four hundred and
13:48
Speaker 1: fifth grade students and they were given a bunch of
13:50
Speaker 1: puzzles to complete. So after solving the puzzles, after the
13:53
Speaker 1: kids also old the puzzles, they received one of two
13:57
Speaker 1: kinds of praise. So there was the fixed mindset praise,
14:01
Speaker 1: which is you're so smart. You're so smart. You're so smart.
14:05
Speaker 1: You know when you tell children, Wow, you must be
14:06
Speaker 1: so smart. You just finished this. You're so smart. So
14:09
Speaker 1: they're focusing on innate intelligence you are smart, or you
14:12
Speaker 1: must be so smart that you were able to do this.
14:14
Speaker 1: Then there was the growth mindset praise, which is, wow,
14:17
Speaker 1: you worked so hard, you worked really hard. So they're
14:20
Speaker 1: focusing on effort, they're focusing on perseverance, and they're giving
14:22
Speaker 1: them praise for their effort and for their perseverance. Okay,
14:27
Speaker 1: Then they were given a harder puzzle. So the two
14:30
Speaker 1: groups of children were given another puzzle, but the puzzle
14:33
Speaker 1: was harder Okay, and they observed how the children responded
14:36
Speaker 1: to this harder puzzle. Children who were praised for their intelligence,
14:40
Speaker 1: so the fixed mindset form of praise, were way more
14:45
Speaker 1: likely to give up when they were faced with the
14:47
Speaker 1: harder problem because they're told you're so smart, you're so smart,
14:49
Speaker 1: and then they come across this harder problem they're like,
14:51
Speaker 1: I don't I'm not going to be able to do this.
14:53
Speaker 1: I need to just back out, right. They chose easier
14:57
Speaker 1: problems in the future to maintain their smart label. Okay,
15:02
Speaker 1: So that way, like, if as long as I'm achieving
15:04
Speaker 1: and completing and winning everything, I'll just choose the things
15:08
Speaker 1: I know I'm able to complete. So that way people
15:11
Speaker 1: still call me smart and say, see, you're able to
15:13
Speaker 1: finish and complete everything you set yourself out to do.
15:15
Speaker 1: But they're strategically picking easier things. And then they also
15:19
Speaker 1: enjoyed the whole experience a whole lot less. They didn't
15:21
Speaker 1: enjoy the challenge or they're just enjoyed it less. The
15:25
Speaker 1: children that were praised for effort, the growth mindset children,
15:28
Speaker 1: we're a lot more likely to persist despite difficulty because
15:31
Speaker 1: they're praise for their effort. They were praised for you
15:33
Speaker 1: know how much they stuck it out in something. They're perseverance.
15:36
Speaker 1: So they're like, well, I'm I'm I can persevere, I
15:39
Speaker 1: can put in effort. I just got praised for that,
15:41
Speaker 1: and it's true, I am good at my So they
15:44
Speaker 1: stuck it out and stuck it out working on the puzzle.
15:46
Speaker 1: Because of them being praised for effort, they chose harder
15:49
Speaker 1: problems in the future in order to continue to learn.
15:52
Speaker 1: They select harder things because they're like, I'm great at effort.
15:56
Speaker 1: And then of course because of that and because they're
15:59
Speaker 1: not like it's not a their identity, they enjoyed themselves
16:02
Speaker 1: a whole lot more. They had more fun in the process,
16:04
Speaker 1: got more done, and learnt more. Okay, So basically, if
16:09
Speaker 1: you haven't already grasped, praising effort and strategies is what's
16:14
Speaker 1: going to foster a growth mindset, and that's what encourages
16:17
Speaker 1: persistence and sticking it out and consistency and seeing something through.
16:21
Speaker 1: Praising intelligence alone fosters a fixed mindset. So this makes
16:26
Speaker 1: children more likely to avoid challenges. So when you're working
16:29
Speaker 1: with children, and not even working with children, when you're
16:32
Speaker 1: dealing with a child, your niece, your nephew, whoever it is,
16:35
Speaker 1: remember when they do something, try to remember, praise the effort,
16:39
Speaker 1: get them excited to try things. Okay. I don't think
16:44
Speaker 1: it's necessary to tell your child, Wow, you're so smart,
16:48
Speaker 1: you're so smart, you're so intelligent, you're so smart. It's
16:50
Speaker 1: not really achieving anything, Okay. And I think it's really
16:54
Speaker 1: healthy to get children from a very young age to
16:57
Speaker 1: be process driven, to be driven for the sake of
17:00
Speaker 1: being involved and for the sake of competing, and for
17:03
Speaker 1: the sake of just you know, being part of a
17:06
Speaker 1: group and doing something and learning, not necessarily like I
17:09
Speaker 1: have to win that thing, I have to win. Because
17:10
Speaker 1: the problem with this is and this is me going
17:13
Speaker 1: on a tangent, but I have a huge issue with
17:14
Speaker 1: this idea for participation medal for every single person and
17:17
Speaker 1: no one gets a first prize, and known that's because
17:19
Speaker 1: you've taught children a fixed mindset. Okay. If you have
17:22
Speaker 1: to give everyone a fucking participation medal, it's because you're
17:25
Speaker 1: going down the fixed mindset route where you're praising them
17:28
Speaker 1: for intelligence or praising them for these innate abilities. Okay.
17:31
Speaker 1: If you can truly teach a child that we are
17:34
Speaker 1: here to learn about, you know, the journey, the effort, perseverance.
17:40
Speaker 1: Then they get more value out of the effort and
17:43
Speaker 1: the journey and they are way more okay with seeing
17:46
Speaker 1: someone win and seeing someone lose. I think it's very
17:50
Speaker 1: healthy and natural to teach children to and this is
17:54
Speaker 1: back to by studies mind you like psychology. I've looked
17:56
Speaker 1: so much into it. I know I'm not a parent,
17:58
Speaker 1: but I think it's very healthy to allow children to
18:01
Speaker 1: experience what the real world is going to be like.
18:04
Speaker 1: There's going to be winners and losers for the rest
18:06
Speaker 1: of your life moving forward, and I think it's healthy
18:09
Speaker 1: to introduce that at a young age as long as
18:11
Speaker 1: you're fostering, of course, the growth mindset. As long as
18:14
Speaker 1: you're fostering this idea of effort is what matters. Effort
18:18
Speaker 1: is what is the most important thing. Yes, this person won,
18:21
Speaker 1: but look how much fun you had. Look at or
18:24
Speaker 1: the effort you did. Look how much better you are
18:26
Speaker 1: now than when you first started practicing how to run,
18:28
Speaker 1: or when you first started doing this. Look at the
18:30
Speaker 1: journey that you've gone on. You know, that's I think
18:34
Speaker 1: really important. Okay. The next one is it's known as
18:38
Speaker 1: the mindset and academic achievement study. This is done in
18:41
Speaker 1: two thousand and seven, but the study title is implicit
18:44
Speaker 1: Theories of Intelligence predict achievement across an adolescent transition. So
18:48
Speaker 1: the researchers were Carol Dwek, Lisa Blackwell, and Karlie Tresnielski.
18:53
Speaker 1: I hope of pronounced that properly. The objective for this
18:57
Speaker 1: study was to determine if students mindset about intell diligence
19:00
Speaker 1: predicted their academic success. So the method they got three
19:05
Speaker 1: hundred and seventy three students as they transitioned from seventh
19:08
Speaker 1: grade to eighth grade, so these kids are a bit older.
19:11
Speaker 1: They assessed their beliefs about intelligence, so they basically in
19:16
Speaker 1: an interview questionnaire format. They were able to assess what
19:21
Speaker 1: they thought about their own intelligence and kind of how
19:24
Speaker 1: they thought about their own intelligence. So they were able
19:27
Speaker 1: to put them into categories does this child have a
19:29
Speaker 1: fixed mindset versus a growth mindset? Then they tracked their
19:34
Speaker 1: math grades over two years. Okay, the results were that
19:38
Speaker 1: students that were in the category for growth mindset improved
19:40
Speaker 1: their math grades significantly over time. They worked harder and
19:44
Speaker 1: were more resilient when facing the challenges, and students with
19:47
Speaker 1: a fixed mindset showed little to no improvements in their grades.
19:50
Speaker 1: They just maintained whatever grade they had at the start,
19:53
Speaker 1: and they were more likely to give up when they're
19:55
Speaker 1: facing difficult challenges. So again, the conclusion in this one
19:58
Speaker 1: is that your mindset directly affects your academic success. Your
20:03
Speaker 1: perception of your own abilities affects your academic success. Okay.
20:08
Speaker 1: And a lot of these kids in these studies, they're
20:10
Speaker 1: all starting off at the same ability in mathematics, but
20:13
Speaker 1: the ones with the growth mindset because they're just putting
20:15
Speaker 1: themselves it's a numbers game. They're putting themselves out there more,
20:19
Speaker 1: they're more chances of learning, more chances of learning from
20:22
Speaker 1: your challenges and your failures. So then again, because of
20:26
Speaker 1: that learning, that positive feedback loop, then there's more chances
20:28
Speaker 1: of succeeding moving forward. You learn more, you put yourself
20:31
Speaker 1: out there, and then you get to where you want
20:33
Speaker 1: to be. Okay, And of course another conclusion is that
20:38
Speaker 1: encouraging a growth mindset in students can predict long term success.
20:42
Speaker 1: So we know that that's been proven again and again
20:45
Speaker 1: and again. So the key key key takeaways from her research,
20:50
Speaker 1: especially with the children. Is that how you praise children matters.
20:55
Speaker 1: So remember praising effort and strategies leads to a more
20:58
Speaker 1: persistent and resilient child. Teaching children and teenagers and adults,
21:04
Speaker 1: really this is with anyone, but teaching individuals about brain
21:08
Speaker 1: plasticity really helps because when you understand that intelligence can grow,
21:15
Speaker 1: and you can grow on all these other things, and
21:17
Speaker 1: your brain is malleable and it can change and things
21:19
Speaker 1: can evolve. When you truly believe that, then your approach
21:24
Speaker 1: to learning is going to be different to someone who
21:26
Speaker 1: thinks this is fixed. Okay, mindset predicts achievement, So when
21:31
Speaker 1: you do have the growth mindset, your achievements and your
21:34
Speaker 1: performance is better over time, and also your enjoyment of
21:37
Speaker 1: that task. Even though we're praising effort and not outcome. Ironically,
21:43
Speaker 1: the outcome is actually better for people whose effort was praised,
21:46
Speaker 1: and interventions can help. So teaching a growth mindset can
21:51
Speaker 1: actually reverse negative academic trends. So people that were always
21:55
Speaker 1: in a fixed mindset who then start learning or who
21:58
Speaker 1: start getting praised for a growth both mindset and who
22:00
Speaker 1: start learning, wow, I'm really valuing everything I'm learning from
22:03
Speaker 1: a growth mindset. They start to change how they perceive
22:06
Speaker 1: their own abilities, and then it's just obvious in their
22:10
Speaker 1: work and their effort and how much they stick something out.
22:13
Speaker 1: So yeah, to summarize before I get into how we're
22:19
Speaker 1: going to change these things, let's look at number one,
22:23
Speaker 1: the danger of a fixed mindset on effort. So if
22:25
Speaker 1: you believe that needing effort means that you're not naturally smart,
22:30
Speaker 1: then this is going to create a fear of looking incompetent,
22:33
Speaker 1: and think about it from your perspective. So this is
22:36
Speaker 1: not just children, this is everyone, This is adults. This
22:39
Speaker 1: happens people right now. You can look at everyone around you.
22:43
Speaker 1: You're going to be able to identify who has a
22:45
Speaker 1: fixed mindset, who has a growth mindset, And a lot
22:47
Speaker 1: of people who have either mindset they put that onto
22:51
Speaker 1: other people. They unintentionally will put that onto you. This
22:54
Speaker 1: is your strengths, These are not your strengths. You don't
22:56
Speaker 1: go down that path. So I think it's really important
22:59
Speaker 1: to be aware. You know, how am I being spoken
23:02
Speaker 1: to by it? Maybe my parents or my teachers are
23:03
Speaker 1: the people around me based on their mindset versus my mindset. Okay,
23:07
Speaker 1: so if you think that needing to put in effort
23:10
Speaker 1: means you're not naturally smart. You're going to be scared
23:14
Speaker 1: to look incompetent. You're going to not put effort into
23:17
Speaker 1: things that you think you might fail in, and therefore
23:19
Speaker 1: you've reached your ceiling well before that ceiling actually exists. Okay.
23:24
Speaker 1: This then traps them into wanting to appear intelligent but
23:28
Speaker 1: avoiding hard work because for them, hard work means that
23:33
Speaker 1: you're not innately smart. Okay, And you'll see this in
23:36
Speaker 1: a lot of people around you. You're like, Oh, that's no, no,
23:40
Speaker 1: I'm not going to do that. Oh it's just like
23:41
Speaker 1: it's not really my thing or right, I Like, they'll talk,
23:44
Speaker 1: they'll come up with reasons why they're not even going
23:46
Speaker 1: to try that thing because they've already established in their
23:50
Speaker 1: head it's not worth it for me to fail this
23:52
Speaker 1: thing because I'm not going to put myself through that.
23:55
Speaker 1: It also impacts your reaction to failure because when you
23:59
Speaker 1: fail something, people with the growth mindset look at that
24:02
Speaker 1: and say, I need to use better strategies. I need
24:05
Speaker 1: to use better strategies. So, for example, in a failed relationship,
24:08
Speaker 1: someone with a growth mindset is going to kind of
24:11
Speaker 1: dissect that relationship and think did I do anything wrong
24:14
Speaker 1: in that? And if I did, what was it? Did
24:16
Speaker 1: I communicate? Probably? What was I doing? What can I
24:18
Speaker 1: learn from this? What strategies can I use that are
24:21
Speaker 1: better than the ones that I've used the same for
24:23
Speaker 1: like a physical running race, or the same for how
24:25
Speaker 1: you approach studying for an exam. You could have been like, wow,
24:28
Speaker 1: I would only go to half my tutorials. Maybe I
24:30
Speaker 1: should go to all the tutorials and see if that
24:32
Speaker 1: makes a difference. Maybe I should dedicate you know, maybe
24:35
Speaker 1: two more extra hours on that subject. Await, whatever the
24:37
Speaker 1: fuck it is. But you look at strategies fail, you
24:40
Speaker 1: fail at something, and then you think what strategies didn't
24:43
Speaker 1: work for me or what strategies could work for me,
24:46
Speaker 1: and then you put those strategies in place and you
24:48
Speaker 1: try again. Okay, whereas fixed mindset, they just assume that
24:52
Speaker 1: they're defeated. I'm defeated. You know, a relationship breaks down
24:56
Speaker 1: and they're like, this happened to me, This happened to me.
24:59
Speaker 1: They won't ownership off it, or they won't even try
25:01
Speaker 1: and dissect it to see if they had an ownership
25:04
Speaker 1: off it. You know, they're the kind of people that
25:05
Speaker 1: if they didn't, if they ran a race and nothing
25:08
Speaker 1: went well, then I was an injury, I was the weather.
25:10
Speaker 1: It's just that, Oh this happened. They'll blame all these
25:13
Speaker 1: other things and then but to blame themselves means that
25:16
Speaker 1: they themselves are just not good enough at that thing.
25:19
Speaker 1: So people with basically a fixed mindset are going to
25:23
Speaker 1: judge their ability based on one single failure, and people
25:26
Speaker 1: with a growth mindset don't do that. Now, it also
25:30
Speaker 1: changes your motivation obviously, based on everything we spoke about,
25:35
Speaker 1: and interestingly, it impacts your honesty and identity. So in
25:40
Speaker 1: these studies with children and teenagers, students were asked to
25:45
Speaker 1: report their test scores quote unquote anonymously, and forty percent
25:50
Speaker 1: of the students that were praised for the intelligence lied
25:56
Speaker 1: by inflating their scores. Okay, so they basically, when they
26:02
Speaker 1: know that it's going to be anonymous, they will pretend
26:04
Speaker 1: that their scores are a lot higher because they're like,
26:06
Speaker 1: my identity is in my intelligence. People have to believe
26:09
Speaker 1: I'm intelligent, So I now feel forced to lie. And
26:13
Speaker 1: it suggests that basically their self worth is tied to
26:16
Speaker 1: their perceived abilities innate abilities of their perceived intelligence, So
26:20
Speaker 1: it makes it really difficult for them to admit their struggles,
26:23
Speaker 1: makes it really difficult for them to ask for help,
26:25
Speaker 1: because that, in their mind equals the world. I mustn't
26:27
Speaker 1: be smart enough, I mustn't be good enough. I'm not
26:29
Speaker 1: gonna you know. And then lastly, before I go into
26:34
Speaker 1: how we're gonna change it, let's talk about the distribution
26:37
Speaker 1: of mindset and growth and fixed mindset. So about forty
26:42
Speaker 1: percent of people hold a fixed mindset, about another forty
26:46
Speaker 1: hold a growth mindset, and about twenty it's kind of undecided.
26:50
Speaker 1: It's a little bit in the middle because you can
26:52
Speaker 1: kind of sit in the middle where it's not like debilitating.
26:56
Speaker 1: I absolutely cannot fail, but you still struggle to come across.
27:00
Speaker 1: You know, you're kind of sitting in the middle. You've
27:01
Speaker 1: been you've been getting a bit of both where you
27:06
Speaker 1: are praise for your intelligence, you do really value your intelligence,
27:08
Speaker 1: but you're also able to work a bit hard. So
27:10
Speaker 1: it's kind of sitting in the middle. There. Now the
27:15
Speaker 1: moment you've all been waiting for, how do we change
27:21
Speaker 1: Since developing a growth mindset, it's going to transform how
27:25
Speaker 1: you approach challenges, how you deal with setbacks, how you
27:29
Speaker 1: overcome setbacks, how you learn something difficult in every area
27:33
Speaker 1: of your life. And you know, I think for absolutely everyone,
27:37
Speaker 1: the amount of people that right now is sitting listening
27:41
Speaker 1: being like I wish I could study this, but I'm
27:43
Speaker 1: just not smart. This is how you're going to change
27:45
Speaker 1: your mindset, because you can achieve anything you put your
27:47
Speaker 1: mind to, even if it means multiple failures in order
27:50
Speaker 1: to get there. This is the problem. I think a
27:52
Speaker 1: lot of people think, oh, yeah, you can achieve anything
27:54
Speaker 1: you put your mind to. And I tried to put
27:55
Speaker 1: my mind to this and then I failed. But what
27:57
Speaker 1: did you do once you failed? That's the questions. It's
28:00
Speaker 1: not about I don't want to fail, It's what do
28:02
Speaker 1: I do when I fail? Because if you fail and
28:04
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, not for me, I'm fucking out of here,
28:07
Speaker 1: then of course you're never gonna achieve that thing. Then
28:09
Speaker 1: of course that's going to be a self fulfilling prophecy
28:11
Speaker 1: of like, oh this is bullshit, it's not true. Whatever
28:12
Speaker 1: you put in your mind to you can't do versus
28:14
Speaker 1: someone else. It's like, Wow, I failed. Wow I realized
28:17
Speaker 1: I have to study so much more. I've got to
28:18
Speaker 1: do so much more. I've got to speak to so
28:20
Speaker 1: many more people. I was not prepared. One of the
28:23
Speaker 1: best things you can learn is when you're not prepared
28:26
Speaker 1: and then you think, how can I be better prepared? Okay,
28:29
Speaker 1: So number one, I want you to really learn to
28:34
Speaker 1: embrace and more importantly, I want your task for yourself
28:40
Speaker 1: this year to seek out challenges that you think might
28:45
Speaker 1: prove what your limitations are going to be, or you
28:47
Speaker 1: think might where you're going to be faced with your limitations.
28:49
Speaker 1: I want you to make friends with your limitations, don't
28:53
Speaker 1: avoid them. I want you to get to that point
28:55
Speaker 1: where you are like, I'm trying to find my limit
28:58
Speaker 1: so that way I can learn and how I'm going
29:00
Speaker 1: to push past it next time. Okay, So if you
29:03
Speaker 1: avoid your limitations, then you're gonna avoid anything that's going
29:06
Speaker 1: to put you in a position of vulnerability or in
29:08
Speaker 1: a position where you could potentially grow. So then it's
29:11
Speaker 1: going to make you more stagnant and likely fearful. So,
29:13
Speaker 1: for example, I'll give an example. When I used to
29:15
Speaker 1: teach pilarates, I used to there was always two again,
29:19
Speaker 1: growth versus fixed. There was two groups of people. I'd
29:22
Speaker 1: always ask, does anyone have any injuries, anything at all, anything, whatever,
29:25
Speaker 1: and people would obviously tell me what their injuries or
29:29
Speaker 1: conditions or whatever were. We'd start the class and I'd
29:32
Speaker 1: love teaching a difficult class. I'd love to make it
29:34
Speaker 1: a challenge, and I would do it on purpose because
29:36
Speaker 1: I wanted I wanted everyone to get a lot out
29:38
Speaker 1: of it. And I would say, you know, you're welcome
29:40
Speaker 1: to take a rest. Whenever you take a rest, You're
29:41
Speaker 1: welcome whatever. And there's the group of people that would
29:45
Speaker 1: literally be doing something trembling, trembling, and then they would
29:48
Speaker 1: fail out of it, and I would see their faces
29:50
Speaker 1: and they'd be like there'd be this huge smile, they're
29:52
Speaker 1: shagging their head like fuck, this is so hard, and
29:54
Speaker 1: then they just go straight back into it again. They'll
29:56
Speaker 1: be like, I'm fucking I'm taking a breather, I'm doing
29:59
Speaker 1: it again, gonna get I'm doing it as close to
30:02
Speaker 1: the end as possible. Then there was the people that
30:04
Speaker 1: would do something and get difficult, and then they'd like
30:06
Speaker 1: sit right up and then like start rubbing their shoulder
30:09
Speaker 1: or whatever, and I'd go up and say, oh, okay,
30:10
Speaker 1: They're like, well, I've just got this old shoulder injury.
30:13
Speaker 1: And I'm like, no, you don't con't because I asked
30:15
Speaker 1: if everyone's fine. I asked if there's everything you You know,
30:19
Speaker 1: you've come into my class several times, you're just saying
30:21
Speaker 1: that because you've got a fixed mindset, you've come across
30:23
Speaker 1: something that's more challenging than you thought you could. And
30:25
Speaker 1: instead of being like, I've met my fucking limit, I'm
30:28
Speaker 1: making friends with my limitations. It is what it is,
30:30
Speaker 1: you're instead looking at it as no, fuck this, this
30:33
Speaker 1: is there's a reason why I couldn't do it, or
30:35
Speaker 1: there's this, and so you come across this like and
30:38
Speaker 1: then they kind of go blank. They're kind of annoyed
30:40
Speaker 1: at me because I was kind of that representation of
30:44
Speaker 1: that's your limit, okay. And I remember when I do classes,
30:47
Speaker 1: I fail all the fucking timing classes, but I always
30:50
Speaker 1: would every time i'd laugh i'd fail, i would laugh,
30:53
Speaker 1: I'd make myself laugh, and I'll be like, I've met
30:56
Speaker 1: I've met my fucking match. I've met my limit in
30:57
Speaker 1: this exercise. Now this is what I know have to
31:00
Speaker 1: push past and next time, this is where I know
31:01
Speaker 1: where I want to be increasing my strength in this thing,
31:03
Speaker 1: or my endurance or whatever, So you look at it
31:05
Speaker 1: as like a fun challenge. So that's a small example
31:08
Speaker 1: of how you can apply that to physical tasks, difficult
31:11
Speaker 1: physical tasks that you can push through and you can
31:14
Speaker 1: notice improvement. It becomes really fun, it becomes a game.
31:16
Speaker 1: So one it could be from a fun game to
31:19
Speaker 1: something that represents I'm a failure. So you've got to
31:21
Speaker 1: pick which path you've got to go down, and the
31:23
Speaker 1: best way to learn that is to embrace and seek
31:26
Speaker 1: out challenges. Seek out challenges that will let you know
31:29
Speaker 1: where you're sealing of ability currently stands, not where it's fixed,
31:33
Speaker 1: where it currently stands, and what you can do to
31:35
Speaker 1: push past it. Okay, So the same thing goes for
31:38
Speaker 1: people that want to start podcasting or want to start,
31:42
Speaker 1: you know, doing a YouTube channel or of videos. Basically
31:46
Speaker 1: they are so terrified to post that first video because
31:49
Speaker 1: they're like, if this doesn't do well, I'm a fuck
31:52
Speaker 1: with I'm a fuck wit because here's this me being vulnerable,
31:56
Speaker 1: putting myself out there and it's got like three likes
31:59
Speaker 1: and no one. So with a fixed mindset, it's almost
32:02
Speaker 1: like not necessarily perfectionism. It's not that you're trying to
32:05
Speaker 1: make it perfect. You're just like, if this doesn't do well,
32:07
Speaker 1: what's that saying about my abilities? And then it's going
32:09
Speaker 1: to really impact my self esteem, my identity. I just
32:12
Speaker 1: absolutely can't do it. Versus growth mindset, you think I
32:15
Speaker 1: have to put this video out, I'm gonna have to
32:17
Speaker 1: start slanging some fucking dragon so then I can start
32:19
Speaker 1: getting better content and more consistent and I can start
32:21
Speaker 1: reaching my audience. It's almost like when you got the
32:23
Speaker 1: growth mindset, it's almost like you're like, I expect rubbish
32:28
Speaker 1: at the beginning, I'm expecting it, and when you expect it,
32:33
Speaker 1: then when it is shit, you're like, well, I expected this.
32:35
Speaker 1: It's fine. I know. I know that I have to
32:38
Speaker 1: go through this in order for it to be better.
32:40
Speaker 1: I'm aware of that. If I have to be good
32:42
Speaker 1: at everything I set out to do, then there's only
32:44
Speaker 1: going to it's gonna limit my pool of things that
32:46
Speaker 1: I can actually do with my life because for almost
32:49
Speaker 1: everything else, I'm going to have to be shit at it.
32:51
Speaker 1: In order to be better, you have to embrace and
32:54
Speaker 1: seek out your ceiling, your limit, your challenges. Expect it
32:59
Speaker 1: to be shit in a funny way, being like, oh,
33:03
Speaker 1: like cringe, councringe. Just upload. It's good enough to put up.
33:06
Speaker 1: Just I've got to be happy enough with it. I'm
33:08
Speaker 1: gonna upload it and just grin and bear it. And
33:12
Speaker 1: if I'm trying to get better, okay, I won't read
33:14
Speaker 1: the comments or I want whatever like it's fine, but
33:17
Speaker 1: just get the fucking work out there. And then I
33:19
Speaker 1: start getting the ball rolling. I feel more comfortable I
33:21
Speaker 1: feel and then I'm able to, you know, feel very
33:24
Speaker 1: confident in my work and it shows. Now I want
33:29
Speaker 1: you to also say, instead of saying I'm not good
33:33
Speaker 1: at this. This is still in part one, like point
33:35
Speaker 1: to one, which is embrace and seek out challenges. Instead
33:39
Speaker 1: of saying I'm not good at this, I want you
33:42
Speaker 1: to learn how to say I'm learning this. I am
33:45
Speaker 1: learning this because there's no ceiling to knowledge none. The
33:52
Speaker 1: biggest thing I want you to value in your life
33:54
Speaker 1: is your acquisition of knowledge. So if you are always
33:58
Speaker 1: telling yourself I am learning, than you are saying I'm
34:01
Speaker 1: acquiring knowledge, I'm acquiring what I need to be acquiring.
34:05
Speaker 1: And the way you approach that mentally and emotionally is
34:08
Speaker 1: so much kinder, it's so much more exciting, it's so
34:10
Speaker 1: much better and it's just a simple change in your phrase.
34:14
Speaker 1: You do not know more. Are you going to say
34:15
Speaker 1: I'm not good at this unless you don't care about
34:18
Speaker 1: not being good at it. If you're like, oh, I
34:19
Speaker 1: don't give a fuck that I'm not good at basketball,
34:21
Speaker 1: then fine, say I'm not good at basketball. That's fine.
34:23
Speaker 1: But in general, if it's something that you would like,
34:26
Speaker 1: like I'm not good at languages, I wish I could
34:28
Speaker 1: learn a language, I'm not to say i'm learning. I'm learning.
34:30
Speaker 1: I'm learning at my own pace, but I'm learning a language, okay,
34:34
Speaker 1: and I will improve. So Number two I want you
34:38
Speaker 1: to and this is similar to the first one, but
34:40
Speaker 1: slightly different. I want you to aim to fail every
34:43
Speaker 1: so often, like the goal is to fail, because I
34:46
Speaker 1: want you to get used to it. I want you
34:47
Speaker 1: to get used to failing. Now. Ideally, maybe I don't
34:50
Speaker 1: set that goal to fail a subject at university because
34:53
Speaker 1: that's fucking expensive to do that, and you're gonna fucking
34:55
Speaker 1: set the thing again. But what are things that you
34:57
Speaker 1: can fail in that make you be like, Okay, that
35:02
Speaker 1: failure has not meant that I can never try this again,
35:06
Speaker 1: that I can never get better at this again. Okay.
35:08
Speaker 1: So I had sent myself a challenge of running ten
35:10
Speaker 1: ks in under fifty minutes, and to this day, I
35:13
Speaker 1: have not done that. Right. Does that mean that it's
35:15
Speaker 1: never going to happen for me? No? Does. And also,
35:18
Speaker 1: and I'm well aware of why it hasn't happened, is
35:20
Speaker 1: because I've been inconsistent as fuck with my running training.
35:23
Speaker 1: I'm so inconsistent, and it's a fact. Am I a
35:26
Speaker 1: good runner? Yes, I can run twenty two kilometers and
35:30
Speaker 1: good or whatever call it good, I don't care whatever
35:32
Speaker 1: you want to label it. Many people wouldn't consider me
35:33
Speaker 1: a good run. It doesn't matter. Do I think I
35:35
Speaker 1: can run, Yes, I can fucking run. Do I think
35:37
Speaker 1: I could run faster? Yes? But have I still not
35:40
Speaker 1: cracked that goal. I have not cracked that goal, and
35:43
Speaker 1: it has not affected me because I'm like, I know
35:47
Speaker 1: that the strategies are not the best they could be,
35:50
Speaker 1: and I need to implement better strategies in order to
35:52
Speaker 1: achieve that goal. And I'm okay with that. Then I'm
35:55
Speaker 1: okay with with putting those strategies in place and working
35:57
Speaker 1: harder for it. So, but it's something that I've failed at.
36:00
Speaker 1: I've said it and I've gone for that run and
36:02
Speaker 1: I've just not cracked it, and it's humbling in a
36:05
Speaker 1: good way. So what are things that you can set
36:08
Speaker 1: out to do where you are going to fail? Okay,
36:12
Speaker 1: what is your limit at the gym? How good are
36:15
Speaker 1: you at cooking? How good are you at whatever task
36:17
Speaker 1: you set yourself out to do? Because only when you
36:20
Speaker 1: fail at something, Only when you fail at something are
36:24
Speaker 1: you able to learn what went right and what went
36:27
Speaker 1: wrong for you. If you are always winning, winning, winning, winning,
36:31
Speaker 1: you are never faced with what is my actual winning
36:34
Speaker 1: strategy because I've never I've never known what's not gone right.
36:38
Speaker 1: I've never known what's actually failed. So that's where people
36:41
Speaker 1: actually get imposter syndrome. People that always do well well
36:45
Speaker 1: well well, well, well well, they get imposter syndrome because
36:47
Speaker 1: they're like, well, I'm here, how did I get here?
36:50
Speaker 1: And they're a bit like, oh, should I be here?
36:51
Speaker 1: Should I not? If you fail, win, fail, succeed, set back,
36:55
Speaker 1: and then you get something somewhere, I can tell you
36:57
Speaker 1: you don't have impost syndrome. You're like a fucking work
36:59
Speaker 1: my ass off to here. I know what it takes
37:02
Speaker 1: to get here. I know what it takes to fail
37:03
Speaker 1: along the way to get here. I know the strategies
37:05
Speaker 1: that work. I know the strategies that don't work. I'm
37:08
Speaker 1: no fucking impostor. I got here through fucking hard work, merit, failure,
37:13
Speaker 1: trial and effort. So there's no impost bullshit going on
37:16
Speaker 1: right now. I am here through all of these things.
37:20
Speaker 1: But yeah, if you seamlessly arrive somewhere, sometimes it does
37:23
Speaker 1: feel like a bit of imposter because you're like, I
37:24
Speaker 1: don't know how the fuck I got here. I don't really,
37:27
Speaker 1: I'm not quite sure right, And that's scary. Not that
37:30
Speaker 1: it's wrong. Congratulations for getting there with no like stumbles,
37:34
Speaker 1: but it's where you're less likely to be confident in
37:37
Speaker 1: your abilities. I think people think that failing will put
37:40
Speaker 1: a blow on your abilities, but I think it actually
37:42
Speaker 1: strengthens your confidence in your abilities because now you've got
37:45
Speaker 1: a clear idea of strategies. Okay, when you fail, obviously
37:51
Speaker 1: you're able to analyze what went wrong what you can improve,
37:54
Speaker 1: rather than seeing it as like proof of your incompetence.
37:56
Speaker 1: So every time you do fail from now on, you're
37:58
Speaker 1: gonna ask yourself what went wrong and what can I improve?
38:02
Speaker 1: Don't be like I'm incompetent. I'm incompetent because you're wasting
38:04
Speaker 1: your time. You've got one fucking life on this earth.
38:07
Speaker 1: Don't waste your time. And then ask yourself what can
38:11
Speaker 1: I learn from this? Instead of why did I fail?
38:14
Speaker 1: You say what can I learn? All right? There's a
38:16
Speaker 1: million things that you can learn. And if you can
38:19
Speaker 1: keep a growth journal, if you are an owner of
38:23
Speaker 1: the brain journal, my brain journal, there is something for
38:25
Speaker 1: growth every single day, growth, connection and purpose every single
38:29
Speaker 1: day you are filling that out. So this is where
38:31
Speaker 1: you can keep your growth journal. Okay. Number three, I
38:35
Speaker 1: want you to make learning the goal and have more
38:39
Speaker 1: things that you do that focus on the journey and
38:42
Speaker 1: not the end goal, or at least have a mix
38:44
Speaker 1: of those things. Okay, So things where you're focusing on
38:47
Speaker 1: the journey is reading books. That's a prime example where
38:51
Speaker 1: you're reading a book. You don't read a book to
38:53
Speaker 1: get to the end. You read a book because you're
38:55
Speaker 1: enjoying the journey of the book, obviously. Okay. Taking course
39:00
Speaker 1: is that you're actually interested in the kind of course
39:02
Speaker 1: that you don't want to end. Like there were certain
39:04
Speaker 1: courses at UNI that I'm like, this is not a
39:08
Speaker 1: journey this is a fuck and I've got to get
39:10
Speaker 1: to the end. This is so painful. Then there are
39:12
Speaker 1: other courses that I'm like, I'll be so sad when
39:14
Speaker 1: this course ends because I'm living for this everything about it.
39:19
Speaker 1: I loved certain courses, right, So you want to take
39:22
Speaker 1: courses that you enjoy that you don't want to end,
39:25
Speaker 1: and then it proves to you that effort can be
39:27
Speaker 1: about the journey. A great one is to join a
39:32
Speaker 1: gym or crossfits great for this because CrossFit has a
39:34
Speaker 1: great community where you realize, this is about the journey.
39:37
Speaker 1: It's about my strength, journey or whatever. And I'm having
39:40
Speaker 1: such a good time and I actually don't have to
39:42
Speaker 1: have I can have all these goals that I want
39:43
Speaker 1: to hit along the way, but I'm not hell bend.
39:46
Speaker 1: It has to be in six months. It has to
39:48
Speaker 1: be in again, you're there for the journey, and you
39:49
Speaker 1: realize rocking up, having that routine, having your community, the
39:53
Speaker 1: people that you know push you and inspire you and
39:55
Speaker 1: you can laugh together, that's for the journey. Okay. So
39:58
Speaker 1: find things that you you can have a goal where
40:02
Speaker 1: the goal is the journey, right. That is going to
40:05
Speaker 1: make you more effort focused and not outcome focused, and
40:08
Speaker 1: it's a great, great place to be in because you
40:11
Speaker 1: start to enjoy yourself a thousand times. Why, I can
40:14
Speaker 1: guarantee if you are effort focused and not journey focused,
40:17
Speaker 1: your enjoyment out of life will be it will skyrocket.
40:21
Speaker 1: That is a fucking guarantee guarantee. Okay. Then also watch,
40:26
Speaker 1: you know, like expand your perspective on things as well,
40:29
Speaker 1: like watch Ted Talks, listen to obviously you're listening to
40:31
Speaker 1: my podcast, so fucking well done, love you so much.
40:33
Speaker 1: Attend workshops, expand your perspective on things right. Then of course,
40:39
Speaker 1: speak to people in your circle, in your network that
40:43
Speaker 1: you know have a growth mindset and ask them questions
40:46
Speaker 1: about their failures and their goals. And when you ask
40:48
Speaker 1: someone who has a growth mindset about their failures, it's
40:51
Speaker 1: so refreshing to hear them talk about how they approach
40:55
Speaker 1: their failures and how they look at their failures. It's
40:57
Speaker 1: not this like, oh mortified, I'm mortified, look it with
41:00
Speaker 1: kind eyes. They look at it us like and then
41:02
Speaker 1: this happened and it didn't do well, But they're not embarrassed,
41:05
Speaker 1: they're not mortified, and they're able to talk about how
41:08
Speaker 1: it actually shaped where they are now, right, So really
41:10
Speaker 1: speak to people, speak to your mental speak to people
41:13
Speaker 1: around you who have a growth mindset, and it's actually
41:16
Speaker 1: quite refreshing. Number four, Start using the word yet a
41:21
Speaker 1: lot more in your vocabulary. So if you say I
41:23
Speaker 1: can't do this, then swap it out for I can't
41:27
Speaker 1: do this yet, I can't speak French yet, I can't
41:30
Speaker 1: run ten kilometers under fifty minutes yet. Okay, And it
41:38
Speaker 1: feels good saying that because the moment you put the yet,
41:40
Speaker 1: it says I'm on a fucking journey. I'm on a
41:43
Speaker 1: fucking journey and it will happen at some point if
41:46
Speaker 1: I want it to, but I'm on that journey. Number five,
41:50
Speaker 1: This is so much harder than it sounds for people
41:53
Speaker 1: that are not used to this. But seek out constructive feedback,
41:58
Speaker 1: so then it becomes easy to accept it when you're
42:01
Speaker 1: not seeking it out. Okay. So this is where you
42:04
Speaker 1: actually have to ask people and say, I'm doing this thing,
42:08
Speaker 1: like I'm doing this journey of self growth. I need
42:10
Speaker 1: to start and you can say this to your friends
42:12
Speaker 1: and your family. I need to start seeking out constructive feedback.
42:16
Speaker 1: So I want you, you know, like let's say you
42:18
Speaker 1: start that CrossFit thing. You say, I want constructive feedback.
42:21
Speaker 1: Tell tell, tell the PT, tell the colatch. I want
42:23
Speaker 1: constructive feedback. Seek it out at the end of every class.
42:27
Speaker 1: How do you think I went on that? What do
42:28
Speaker 1: you think I could? Like see ask ask us asks question.
42:32
Speaker 1: At the start, it's like, ha, you're telling me what
42:34
Speaker 1: I'm doing wrong, Like it's it feels confronting, but then
42:37
Speaker 1: it starts getting easier and easier and easier, and then
42:40
Speaker 1: you're excited for it because you realize, wait a minute,
42:42
Speaker 1: every time I got feedback, Okay, sometimes I don't agree,
42:44
Speaker 1: which is fine. You don't have to agree every time.
42:47
Speaker 1: But a lot of the times I got over the
42:50
Speaker 1: fact that it was like, oh God, didn't liukle that hurt?
42:53
Speaker 1: But then I put it into practice and it worked.
42:55
Speaker 1: Now you're hungry for it. Now you're like, I'm gonna
42:57
Speaker 1: and of course you know me, I've spoken about this times.
43:00
Speaker 1: You have to ask for feedback from the right sources.
43:04
Speaker 1: Don't ask for people's opinion when they're not qualified to
43:06
Speaker 1: give you your opinion. Obviously this is huge, But if
43:09
Speaker 1: it's like your coach, if it's a mentor, if it's
43:12
Speaker 1: someone who's done a similar thing. Say your friend's a
43:14
Speaker 1: writer and you want to start writing, and you respect
43:16
Speaker 1: their writing, and you can be like, give me feedback
43:19
Speaker 1: on this. I want feedback. Some we're so scared to
43:21
Speaker 1: share our work because we're so scared of negative feedback.
43:25
Speaker 1: But instead of negative, say this is constructive. You might
43:28
Speaker 1: say something that I genuinely don't agree with because I've
43:30
Speaker 1: got a different style, But you might say something that
43:33
Speaker 1: will strike a chord and put everything clicks and all
43:35
Speaker 1: the pieces clicked together, and I think, yes, yes, thank
43:37
Speaker 1: you for that feedback. That makes sense. Okay, so you
43:40
Speaker 1: have to seek it out. Seek it out at least
43:42
Speaker 1: once a week, if not twice a week. That's your
43:44
Speaker 1: challenge for the rest of the year. Seek out constructive feedback.
43:48
Speaker 1: If you have a good relationship with your boss, If
43:50
Speaker 1: your boss is an an asshole, ask them for constructive feedback. Okay,
43:55
Speaker 1: it's very good. And then when you get it unsolicited,
43:58
Speaker 1: then it's like, yeah, I'm used to this. I love
44:00
Speaker 1: this shit. Fucking you know, come at me. I remember
44:03
Speaker 1: when people would give you feedback on my podcast at
44:05
Speaker 1: the beginning, and because it was so like vulnerable to
44:07
Speaker 1: put it out, I'd be like and I'd like overthink it.
44:11
Speaker 1: And now when I get it, sometimes the feedback's like
44:14
Speaker 1: I don't give a fuck. I'm like, nah, that doesn't align.
44:16
Speaker 1: Like people like I don't like odds. I'm like, well,
44:18
Speaker 1: that's how this podcast exists. So I don't have to
44:20
Speaker 1: take that feedback on board. But then other people will say, like,
44:22
Speaker 1: I got this feedback once that I go when I'm
44:26
Speaker 1: interviewing someone and someone's like, you go too much in
44:29
Speaker 1: the microphone, and I'm like, yeah, you're right, I do.
44:32
Speaker 1: I'll take that feedback on I'd be more aware and
44:35
Speaker 1: I'll try not to when the other person's talking because
44:37
Speaker 1: I just get so involved in what they're saying and
44:38
Speaker 1: I don't realize. So that's good feedback. It's something that
44:41
Speaker 1: they didn't like that I was doing, but it's true
44:44
Speaker 1: and it's good feedback, right, So you take that shit
44:47
Speaker 1: on board. And then number six, wait, there's too more.
44:51
Speaker 1: Number six is celebrate effort more than your results. So
44:55
Speaker 1: this is like, where is it possible for you to
44:58
Speaker 1: really lean into the effort doing something you know, instead
45:01
Speaker 1: of always checking, Like maybe you put together a really
45:04
Speaker 1: nice video and then you upload it and then all
45:06
Speaker 1: you're doing is refreshing, refreshing. How many likes did I get?
45:08
Speaker 1: How many? That's you trying to celebrate the end result.
45:12
Speaker 1: Your marker of something's good enough is how many likes
45:16
Speaker 1: you get. And I remember I used to get into
45:18
Speaker 1: that trap, maybe like four when I kind of started
45:20
Speaker 1: the podcast and the Instagram was starting to grow. I
45:22
Speaker 1: would get into that trap of looking at how successful
45:25
Speaker 1: the posts were and the podcast. Whereas now when I
45:28
Speaker 1: upload something, I often won't even look at it for
45:31
Speaker 1: another twelve hours because I'm like, I really like what
45:33
Speaker 1: I uploaded. That was a really nice thing. Next, you know,
45:36
Speaker 1: so I celebrated the effort and then I don't really
45:39
Speaker 1: look at it. And by the time I do look
45:41
Speaker 1: at the numbers, so much time has passed that it
45:43
Speaker 1: doesn't affect me whether the numbers are good or bad.
45:46
Speaker 1: So that's one thing that you can do where you
45:48
Speaker 1: start to look at how can I celebrate effort? How
45:51
Speaker 1: can I go in and make this work out all
45:54
Speaker 1: about the effort, Even if I know I did a
45:57
Speaker 1: better effort last week, I can you know, I'm not
46:00
Speaker 1: going to look at the fact that my numbers were
46:01
Speaker 1: better last week. I'm just really celebrating the fact that
46:03
Speaker 1: I came, I showed up. If ick I did the thing,
46:05
Speaker 1: that's awesome, right. So praise yourself for hard work and persistence,
46:13
Speaker 1: not just success. So there are many examples right now
46:15
Speaker 1: where you can praise yourself for hard work and persistence
46:17
Speaker 1: where there was no marker of quote unquote success. Okay.
46:22
Speaker 1: You know, instead of saying to yourself, you know about
46:25
Speaker 1: your intelligence, you can say I worked really hard on that,
46:28
Speaker 1: I worked really hard on this, I worked really hard
46:29
Speaker 1: on that. You know, look at what do you value
46:32
Speaker 1: the most? When I look back at the things where
46:34
Speaker 1: I worked hard on, I actually value the fact that
46:36
Speaker 1: I had to work hard on that thing. I like
46:38
Speaker 1: that I had to work hard and that yes, I
46:41
Speaker 1: got a result out of it. But the thing that
46:44
Speaker 1: brings me the most joy is the effort. I like
46:47
Speaker 1: earning that thing felt good. You know, enjoy the small
46:51
Speaker 1: winds because the small winds are in the journey. It's
46:54
Speaker 1: not this one big win hanging over your head. And
46:57
Speaker 1: then number seven, remember that setbacks don't define you, but
47:03
Speaker 1: your response to your setbacks does define you. Okay, because
47:08
Speaker 1: you could have a thousand. The person you admire the most,
47:11
Speaker 1: your biggest, the person who's up there on a pedestal
47:14
Speaker 1: for you of how you want to be. They could
47:16
Speaker 1: have had ten thousand more setbacks than you, but look
47:19
Speaker 1: at where they are and how you value where they're
47:22
Speaker 1: at in their life. It's because their setbacks didn't define them.
47:25
Speaker 1: How they approach to their setbacks defined them. So it's
47:28
Speaker 1: how resilient am I? How often or how many times
47:33
Speaker 1: am I willing to pick myself up and brush myself off?
47:36
Speaker 1: And this is extremely different to knowing when to quit
47:38
Speaker 1: when you don't like something and it's not working for you.
47:40
Speaker 1: I've got a whole episode on that, and I think
47:42
Speaker 1: it's called knowing when to quit. But this is I
47:45
Speaker 1: want to get better at this. I'd like to keep
47:47
Speaker 1: going at this, So I could have a thousand setbacks.
47:50
Speaker 1: But as long as I'm focusing on the journey and
47:52
Speaker 1: enjoying the journey and the process and the effort, that
47:54
Speaker 1: I could be doing this indefinitely without focusing on, you know,
47:58
Speaker 1: the setback and this I'm now a failure and I
48:01
Speaker 1: can't reach a setback again because it means that I'm
48:03
Speaker 1: actually innately not smart or innately not good enough. All right,
48:07
Speaker 1: I want you to visualize long term success and what
48:13
Speaker 1: long term success looks like, rather than focusing on these
48:16
Speaker 1: short term struggles that you think, oh, that's like, that's
48:19
Speaker 1: a roadblock. I can't do that. That's a roadblock I
48:21
Speaker 1: can't Because if you focus on the roadblocks and you
48:24
Speaker 1: focus on these setbacks, you're likely with if you've got
48:27
Speaker 1: to fix mindset, you're likely to not like you stop
48:29
Speaker 1: and then you're not going to go through with it.
48:32
Speaker 1: But if you're someone who's going to look at that
48:34
Speaker 1: and be like, Okay, but I'm looking at the bigger picture,
48:37
Speaker 1: and I'm looking at you know, like, over the next
48:39
Speaker 1: ten years, is this tiny setback going to matter? What
48:41
Speaker 1: if I kept going at a slower pace or you know,
48:44
Speaker 1: even if I had to go back and revise and
48:46
Speaker 1: go what could this look like in ten years if
48:48
Speaker 1: I kept this up, what could it look like? You know?
48:50
Speaker 1: So I want you to focus more on the long term.
48:52
Speaker 1: Don't underestimate what you are able to do in a year,
48:55
Speaker 1: or in five years or in ten years. We and
48:58
Speaker 1: Tony Robin says this, but something along the lines of
49:01
Speaker 1: like you overestimate what you can do in a year,
49:03
Speaker 1: but you underestimate what you can do in ten So like,
49:06
Speaker 1: don't be too help bent on the timeline, because that's
49:09
Speaker 1: when you're going to think, oh, i'm a family, I'm
49:10
Speaker 1: not going to do it, and then you throw it
49:11
Speaker 1: in the bin. Instead, think if I'm persistent even through
49:16
Speaker 1: the setbacks, what could this look like in five years
49:19
Speaker 1: or in ten years time? Guys, that is the podcast
49:21
Speaker 1: episode of today. One of my favorite topics. Evan, I
49:24
Speaker 1: can't believe I haven't ever done a fully fledged episode
49:27
Speaker 1: on growth mindset versus fixed mindset. I think this episode
49:31
Speaker 1: everything that you take on and if you continue to
49:33
Speaker 1: do further reading on Carol Dweck and her studies, it
49:36
Speaker 1: will change your life. I'm telling you, it can change
49:38
Speaker 1: your life if you someone who's got a fixed mindset.
49:40
Speaker 1: This is like game change of behavior. So I'm very
49:44
Speaker 1: pumped for you. Anyway, that is all for today. I
49:47
Speaker 1: hope you enjoy it today's episode. Please, for the sake
49:50
Speaker 1: of the podcast, please like and share the podcast as well.
49:54
Speaker 1: It does. It really really helps me out. It helps
49:57
Speaker 1: my podcast out. It's thanks to you, guys that the
49:59
Speaker 1: podcast was grown the way it's grown, and we just
50:01
Speaker 1: want to keep growing it and reaching bigger audiences. And
50:04
Speaker 1: growing our little bean community. So thank you so much. Like, share,
50:09
Speaker 1: review fas styles obviously and that is all. As always
50:12
Speaker 1: remember be kind to yourself, be kind to your brain,
50:14
Speaker 1: don't text it from anyone, and especially don't texture from yourself.
50:17
Speaker 1: Dun't it