Latest / MyMaine Birth / 171. MyMaine Birth: Asha's first birth story, a birth center birth with loving support from her midwives at Holly No. 7 in Bangor

Transcript

171. MyMaine Birth: Asha's first birth story, a birth center birth with loving support from her midwives at Holly No. 7 in Bangor · MyMaine Birth

• 0:00
  Asha: So I called my mom on the way home and I was like crying, like they're gonna want to induce me.
• 0:05
  Asha: And I don't even know if the baby is in there because I didn't even get to have a have an ultrasound today.
• 0:10
  Asha: And she was like, Can you just call Holly number seven in Bangor?
• 0:15
  Asha: Can you please, can you please just have a meeting with them?
• 0:19
  Asha: And if you don't like it, that's fine.
• 0:20
  Asha: I'll support you changing your mind and going wherever you need to go, but just talk to them.
• 0:25
  Asha: And I was like, okay.
• 0:27
  Asha: And so I called them and immediately it was like so different.
• 0:30
  Asha: It was like night and day.
• 0:31
  Asha: She was like, I think it was Jenna who answered the phone, and she was like, congratulations immediately, and it felt so good.
• 0:39
  Asha: We we went to our first um initial appointment, which they do like a free consultation appointment and tour.
• 0:45
  Asha: Um, I brought Evan with me, and they were great.
• 0:48
  Asha: They were like asking us about our families and asking us about how we felt, both of us separately.
• 0:53
  Asha: Like they asked me, and I talk like nobody's business.
• 0:56
  Asha: I can talk for an hour straight, no problem.
• 0:58
  Asha: Evan is super quiet and reserved and basically doesn't speak unless spoken to.
• 1:03
  Asha: And so I was so happy when they like let me finish a sentence and then went, Evan, how are you feeling?
• 1:13
  Asha: Like, what's going on for you?
• 1:15
  Asha: And then he got to talk and they got and they listened, and like that was the theme over the whole experience with Holly number seven, was just they really took care of our whole family, not just me.
• 1:25
  Asha: And that felt so good.
• 1:26
  Asha: So we ended up going with Holly No.
• 1:28
  Asha: Even though we had to pay out of pocket and get reimbursed later.
• 1:31
  Asha: Um, we left that appointment.
• 1:32
  Asha: They gave um Evan the packet of decisions because I was like, I love it here, a hundred percent.
• 1:38
  Asha: But they could tell that he needed a little convincing.
• 1:41
  Asha: So they gave him all the paperwork and they were like, just let us know.
• 1:45
  Asha: And then we left, and he was like, I can't imagine you giving birth anywhere else.
• 1:50
  Asha: Like the the difference is so big that this has to be the place.
• 1:56
  Asha: And like, if we if you only ever give birth once, I want this to be the place that you give birth.
• 2:02
  Asha: Like, I want this to be the right feeling.
• 2:04
  Asha: And I was like, yes.
• 2:07
  Angela: I'm Angela, and I'm a certified birth photographer, experienced duela, childbirth educator, and your host here on the My Made Birth podcast.
• 2:16
  Angela: This is a space where we share the real life stories of families and unique birth experiences in a beautiful state of mind.
• 2:23
  Angela: From our state hospitals to birth center births and home births.
• 2:28
  Angela: Every birth story deserves to be hired and celebrated.
• 2:33
  Angela: Whether you're a seem to be mom, a seed and mother, or simply interested in the world of births, these episodes are for you.
• 2:41
  Angela: Hi everyone, welcome to episode 171 of My Main Birth.
• 2:47
  Angela: As a reminder, I share all different types of stories that are submitted to me.
• 2:52
  Angela: Hospital births, birth center births, all different types of home births, whether your story was positive, negative, or anything in between.
• 2:59
  Angela: This is a safe space for you to feel seen and heard.
• 3:03
  Angela: And if you're pregnant or planning on becoming pregnant, I think it's so important to listen to a variety of different birth stories so that you can start to focus in on what pregnancy and birth path is right for you.
• 3:16
  Angela: Because it doesn't look the same for everyone, and women today are making a wide variety of choices when it comes to their pregnancy and births.
• 3:23
  Angela: And ultimately, you are the authority in your birth experience, and the choices are up to you.
• 3:30
  Angela: The only requirement for sharing a birth story on the podcast is that at least one of your birth stories is a main birth story.
• 3:36
  Angela: As an added bonus, all of my podcast guests receive a gift certificate for a family adventure photo session on the session day of your choice.
• 3:44
  Angela: I host session days for my podcast guests at iconic locations across Maine throughout the spring, summer, and fall.
• 3:51
  Angela: So if you're interested in joining the community of Maine Mom sharing birth stories here on the podcast, you can fill out the form over on my website, mymainbirth.com, or you can always message me over on Instagram at MyMainBirth.
• 4:06
  Angela: Our closing song is by Kate Sutherland, Kate's Community Songs and Deep Nature Connection Works can be found over on her website, katesutherland.ca.
• 4:15
  Angela: Today's birth story guest is Asha, and she's here to share her first birth story of birth-center birth with loving support from her midwives at Holly No.
• 4:25
  Angela: 7 in Bangor.
• 4:26
  Angela: And before we dive into this episode, if you live in this area, the options for pregnancy and birth support are pretty narrow.
• 4:36
  Angela: Northern Light, EMMC, is usually the default.
• 4:41
  Angela: And with the recent closures of Hulton Hospital, MDI Hospital, and Waldo Hospital's OB units, EMMC is busier than ever before.
• 4:52
  Angela: So in case you didn't know, Holly No.
• 4:55
  Angela: 7 is the freestanding birth center in town located about a mile from EMMC.
• 5:00
  Angela: So for families who may be wanting out-of-hospital midwife free care for a normal healthy pregnancy, but you also want to stay close to a hospital in case something changes, a birth center birth can be a great option.
• 5:14
  Angela: Also, a lot of people don't know that you can just go look and see if it's right for you.
• 5:20
  Angela: Most midwives, including the Holly No.
• 5:22
  Angela: 7 midwives, offer free consultations.
• 5:25
  Angela: This is a great chance to sit with a midwife, hear how they actually practice, and notice how your body feels in the room.
• 5:33
  Angela: Today's story is a reminder that choosing care can begin that simply.
• 5:38
  Angela: One conversation, no obligation, and a clearer sense of whether this is the right fit for you.
• 5:45
  Angela: So let's dive in.
• 5:48
  Angela: Hey Asha, welcome to My Main Birth.
• 5:51
  Angela: Hi.
• 5:52
  Angela: Yay.
• 5:54
  Angela: Thank you so much for having me.
• 5:56
  Angela: I'm really excited.
• 5:57
  Angela: Me too.
• 5:59
  Angela: So to get started, would you share a little bit about you and your family?
• 6:04
  Asha: Yeah, so my name is Asha.
• 6:06
  Asha: I'm 26 years old now.
• 6:09
  Asha: My partner is Evan.
• 6:10
  Asha: He's also 26.
• 6:12
  Asha: Right now, he is working for an internet uh service provider out of Bangor, and I am starting my journey to be a full spectrum birth and postpartum dual la.
• 6:25
  Asha: So that's exciting.
• 6:27
  Asha: Um, at the time of our pregnancy, we were both working for the same credit card processing company, which actually gave us the flexibility to take a lot of time off after Charlie was born.
• 6:38
  Asha: So that was really great.
• 6:39
  Asha: But now we live in Orland, Maine.
• 6:43
  Asha: And uh we live on kind of like a little family compound with my mom living next door with her son, who's my little brother, he's eight years old.
• 6:53
  Asha: And my sister is 18 now and has fledged the nest, but she is around often and takes great pride in her role as Auntie.
• 7:03
  Asha: And we have two cats, Calcifer and Merle, and a dog named Alaska.
• 7:09
  Angela: Amazing.
• 7:10
  Angela: Now, jumping into birth, would you start by sharing a little bit about how you found out you were pregnant and what your thoughts were in choosing your care?
• 7:21
  Asha: Yeah, so I actually got my IUD out in I think like the spring sometime of 2023.
• 7:30
  Asha: And we were living in Pennsylvania at the time.
• 7:33
  Asha: And so we were like, well, you know, it was the end of my IUD's life span, and we were pretty sure that we wanted to start a family soon-ish in the next year or two.
• 7:42
  Asha: And so we were like, we don't need to do anything, we'll just, we'll just play play by ear, see how it goes, whatever happens is meant to be.
• 7:50
  Asha: Um, and so then we ended up moving to Maine in November 2023 to be closer to my mom because we knew that was very important if we were starting this journey of conception.
• 8:01
  Asha: And I had a fear, which I think is a fear that a lot of women have, where they they think that it's gonna take a lot to get pregnant.
• 8:09
  Asha: Like maybe we're gonna have to go through a little bit of hardship to get to get there.
• 8:14
  Asha: I don't know really where that came from because I come from a long line of very fertile women who have lots of lovely, healthy babies.
• 8:21
  Asha: So I I think it was just in there.
• 8:23
  Asha: But yeah, we we came to Maine in November 2023, and then um we were kind of tracking my period in ovulation and like kind of avoiding ovulation for sexual activity loosely, and then we moved into our new apartment in January of 2024, and I forgot to put our calendar up, and so our calendar was not up, it did not have my ovulation days on it, we did not pay attention, and then it was February of 2024, and we think conception probably happened like on or right after Valentine's Day, and then February 18th, I went to a mask-making workshop with my mom and one of her friends and my best friend, Leanne.
• 9:12
  Asha: And I I went there and I was like, I think I'm pregnant.
• 9:17
  Asha: And my mom was like, You always say that when you are like a couple days late, like you're not pregnant, you always say that.
• 9:23
  Asha: And she tells me now that right after she said that, she was like, Oh, something's different though.
• 9:31
  Asha: And so, but that was only like four days after possible conception.
• 9:36
  Asha: I was like, I'm pregnant, and then I had to wait for a really long time, like several weeks to test.
• 9:42
  Asha: But I had like gotten a bunch of test uh ovulation strips and pregnancy strips because I thought that it was gonna be a while of tracking and figuring it out.
• 9:52
  Asha: Um, it was the first test pregnancy test strip that I used from that package, and it was a super faint line.
• 9:59
  Asha: And I showed it to Evan, and he was like, I don't see anything, I don't think anything's there.
• 10:04
  Asha: And I tested again the same day, and it was also super faint, but I was like, I could see it.
• 10:10
  Asha: So I sent it to my best friend Leanne, and I was like, Is there a line?
• 10:14
  Asha: And she was like, Yes, but you should test again in a few days.
• 10:19
  Asha: And so we did, we waited a few days, and I actually kept getting up to pee in the middle of the night, which was like my first sign.
• 10:28
  Asha: I kept getting up to pee at like 2 a.m.
• 10:30
  Asha: I could not make it through the whole night.
• 10:32
  Asha: My bladder felt so full.
• 10:33
  Asha: And so I got up to pee on the day that we were supposed to test.
• 10:37
  Asha: And I knew in my mind, I was like, oh, I think that the HCG is higher in the morning, like with your first pee.
• 10:42
  Asha: So I was like, I'm gonna test, even though Evan's asleep.
• 10:45
  Asha: And I tested and it was like super positive.
• 10:47
  Asha: And then I went and I laid back down with Evan and like had to try and go back to sleep electric.
• 10:53
  Asha: And then we woke up and we took another test together.
• 10:57
  Asha: And I showed him the test from 2 a.m.
• 10:59
  Asha: And we we didn't cry, we kind of stood there like quiet for a minute and like just looked at it, and we were like, oh my god, it's like happening.
• 11:09
  Asha: This is real.
• 11:10
  Asha: Is it real?
• 11:11
  Asha: So, yeah, so that's how I found out and how we knew, which is crazy that I kind of knew like right away after conception, and then the tests just confirmed that.
• 11:21
  Asha: So, yeah.
• 11:22
  Angela: And your mom had her own little intuition about this tree.
• 11:25
  Angela: Yeah.
• 11:26
  Asha: And oh, actually, in January of that year, there was like a trend online to make bingo cards.
• 11:33
  Asha: Um, and I had put on my bingo card a bunch of things like read 12 books and get a tattoo, which I did end up doing a month before I got pregnant, which was January.
• 11:42
  Asha: But on that bingo card, I did put have a baby kind of as a joke.
• 11:46
  Asha: I didn't think it was gonna happen that soon.
• 11:48
  Asha: It was like a little, like maybe it would happen, but also maybe I get pregnant halfway through the year and then I'm not even having a baby in 2024.
• 11:55
  Asha: So it was kind of like an off the cuff thing.
• 11:58
  Asha: And then I got pregnant and I was like, oh my god, I like manifested this.
• 12:03
  Asha: What?
• 12:04
  Asha: Um, and so yeah, when we told my mom, uh we we like walked into her house and I showed her the test and she looked at the test, and immediately she looked up at Evan and she was like, Way to go, Evan, get it done.
• 12:21
  Asha: Because she was like, You're checking things off her list.
• 12:25
  Angela: Was it on her bingo card too?
• 12:27
  Asha: It was so funny.
• 12:28
  Asha: She was a grandmother.
• 12:30
  Asha: Was it her first grandchild?
• 12:32
  Asha: It is her first grandchild, yeah.
• 12:34
  Asha: And I think um she was really excited.
• 12:37
  Asha: I don't know that any of the grandparents thought it would happen so soon, also.
• 12:40
  Asha: Uh, but they're they're all so excited and smitten with him now.
• 12:45
  Asha: So yeah, but my mom was a doolo when she was my age as well, and has been working in childcare forever.
• 12:52
  Asha: So it definitely is like her jam.
• 12:54
  Asha: She's super excited.
• 12:57
  Angela: Oh, that's so special.
• 12:58
  Angela: Yeah.
• 12:59
  Angela: So, like, kind of as like a side question and leading to like what your thoughts were and choosing your care.
• 13:04
  Angela: What were also some of the stories that you maybe heard about birth growing up?
• 13:09
  Angela: And like what were your opinions like on birth going into this whole experience?
• 13:13
  Asha: Yeah, so gosh, I have like I think a pretty unique view of birth, um, even before I gave birth, which is my mom was Adula growing up.
• 13:24
  Asha: And so it was like birth and and sex and sexuality and the reproductive system and periods, like all of that was just talked about.
• 13:32
  Asha: I wasn't it wasn't weird at all.
• 13:35
  Asha: And um, and then when my mom had my sister, I was seven, almost eight, she hired Abula to be with me while she gave birth.
• 13:45
  Asha: And she actually gave birth in the Bridgeton Birth Center that has since closed.
• 13:50
  Asha: Um, but she, Ari, my little sister, was the first birth at the Bridgeton Birth Center.
• 13:56
  Asha: And she like made it into the little local newspaper as the first baby born there.
• 14:01
  Asha: And I, at seven years old, got to witness my mom in labor, and then I claim that I was the first person to see her squished up little face.
• 14:12
  Asha: Um, because I also got to witness like the act of birth of my sister, and that was amazing.
• 14:19
  Asha: And then, like 10 years later, I got to witness as a teenager, I was 18, I got to witness the birth of my little brother, and that was in Ellsworth Hospital.
• 14:30
  Asha: And so I got to see two different kinds of sides of birth, a birth center birth supported by midwives and adula, and then a hospital birth, also supported by um a midwife and adula in that uh setting.
• 14:45
  Asha: And then I got to be kind of that that doula to take care of my sister, who was 10 years old.
• 14:52
  Asha: And so my little sister got to witness our little brother's birth as well, with me kind of like there for her.
• 14:57
  Asha: Um, so I have a background in birth that like both of those births were beautiful.
• 15:03
  Asha: They they were really mostly seamless.
• 15:05
  Asha: Um, Ari had a cord on around her neck and they had to take it off really quick.
• 15:10
  Asha: And then they moved mom from the tub into the bed um with Ari's head like out.
• 15:16
  Asha: So that was a little scary for a second, but it everything went really well.
• 15:20
  Asha: And then George, my little brother, nothing was crazy about that.
• 15:25
  Asha: He he ended up having a knot in his cord, like when he was swimming around in there, he was so active, and it stays true to today.
• 15:33
  Asha: He is a very active kiddo, um, that he got himself a little twisted up, but it didn't restrict the cord flow.
• 15:39
  Asha: So everything was good.
• 15:40
  Asha: But when I was choosing care, I didn't really know what I wanted.
• 15:45
  Asha: I think had I felt more comfortable in my home, I would have chosen a home birth.
• 15:50
  Asha: Um, but the home that I was in, I liked it, but it it was really cramped.
• 15:53
  Asha: It was a really small house.
• 15:54
  Asha: And I was like, I can't have a birth team in here.
• 15:58
  Asha: Like, I don't even know if I could have a birth tub in here, which is a was a goal of mine, was a water birth.
• 16:03
  Asha: So I kind of ruled out home birth pretty early.
• 16:06
  Asha: I had heard lots of great things about MDI hospital and their birth center.
• 16:12
  Asha: And so that was actually who I called first.
• 16:14
  Asha: And it was a little hard to get a well, no, I called the Bangor hospital first, and they they told me that they were not taking any pregnant patients.
• 16:23
  Asha: And I was like, Can you do that?
• 16:25
  Asha: Like, what?
• 16:26
  Asha: You can just say no to pregnant.
• 16:29
  Asha: I'm gonna have a baby, whether you like it or not.
• 16:32
  Asha: What?
• 16:33
  Asha: So that was crazy.
• 16:34
  Asha: Whatever.
• 16:35
  Asha: I didn't, I didn't, I wasn't sure that I wanted to birth there anyway.
• 16:38
  Asha: It was just the closest hospital, and I was like, I need to confirm that there's a baby in there.
• 16:42
  Asha: Because you go through those couple weeks of like, is this real?
• 16:45
  Asha: Are you sure?
• 16:47
  Asha: Then we called MDI, and we were living in Milford at the time, which is a little bit north on the 95 from Bangor.
• 16:54
  Asha: So it was a trek to get to MDI.
• 16:57
  Asha: But I was like, if the care is great, like that's fine.
• 17:01
  Asha: So we took time off work and we drove all the way out to MDI for our first appointment, and we didn't end up doing an ultrasound to see the heartbeat because they didn't have the technicians in because it's a really small hospital and they only have like certain days, and uh, so we ended up going in only for like an initial checkup and a blood draw.
• 17:21
  Asha: And I was like really disappointed with how I was received.
• 17:26
  Asha: I know that some people have really great experiences there, so I don't want to like diss on them too hard, but I was I was received with like no excitement or congratulations.
• 17:36
  Asha: We went in and they were like, Who's this?
• 17:39
  Asha: And I was like, Oh, this is Evan, he's my partner, he's the dad, and they were like, Okay, and then they typed it in.
• 17:44
  Asha: And then uh they told me in that very first appointment where I was like 10 weeks pregnant that I was obese, that my BMI was too high, that I was probably gonna be pre-clampsick, and that I probably would need to be induced early.
• 17:59
  Asha: In that very first appointment, they were like, we're gonna have to probably plan to induce you.
• 18:04
  Asha: And I was like, What?
• 18:07
  Asha: So I left that appointment feeling really bummed because I had an idea of what birth could look like.
• 18:14
  Asha: And suddenly I was being told that that probably wasn't gonna be the case in my case.
• 18:20
  Asha: And I was like, How do you know?
• 18:22
  Asha: Like, there are no my my blood pressure was perfect, and no surprise, my blood pressure was perfect all throughout pregnancy.
• 18:29
  Asha: Like, not there were no actual medical indicators that that was true.
• 18:34
  Asha: And and I feel like science has proven that the BMI is not real, that's not like actual medical information anymore.
• 18:43
  Asha: We have we have learned that that's kind of debunked.
• 18:48
  Asha: And so I was so surprised that they were telling me that I was obese and I was 175 pounds and I'm short.
• 18:53
  Asha: And what which is why I often get labeled as obese is because I am very petite and also, I guess, on the heavier side, but I'm healthy and I walk and I eat good food and like I don't know.
• 19:05
  Asha: I know that preclampsia can kind of come out of nowhere for a lot of people, but that also was part of the reason why I was like, why are you saying this to me right now?
• 19:13
  Asha: So I called my mom on the way home and I was like crying, like they're gonna want to induce me, and I don't even know if the baby is in there because I didn't even get to have a have an ultrasound today.
• 19:24
  Asha: And she was like, Can you just call Holly number seven in Bangor?
• 19:29
  Asha: Can you please, can you please just have a meeting with them?
• 19:33
  Asha: And if you don't like it, that's fine.
• 19:34
  Asha: I'll support you changing your mind and going wherever you need to go, but just talk to them.
• 19:39
  Asha: And I was like, okay.
• 19:41
  Asha: And so I called them and immediately it was like so different.
• 19:44
  Asha: It was like nine days.
• 19:45
  Asha: She was like, I think it was Jenna who answered the phone, and she was like, congratulations immediately, and it felt so good.
• 19:53
  Asha: We we went to our first um initial appointment, which they do like a free consultation appointment and tour.
• 19:59
  Asha: Um, I brought Evan with me, and they were great.
• 20:02
  Asha: They were like asking us about our families and asking us about how we felt, both of us separately.
• 20:07
  Asha: Like they asked me, and I talk like nobody's business.
• 20:09
  Asha: I can talk for an hour straight, no problem.
• 20:12
  Asha: Evan is super quiet and reserved and basically doesn't speak unless spoken to.
• 20:17
  Asha: And so I was so happy when they like let me finish a sentence and then went, Evan, how are you feeling?
• 20:27
  Asha: Like, what's going on for you?
• 20:29
  Asha: And then he got to talk and they got and they listened, and like that was the theme over the whole experience with Holly number seven, was just they really took care of our whole family, not just me.
• 20:39
  Asha: And that felt so good.
• 20:40
  Asha: So we ended up going with Holly No.
• 20:41
  Asha: Even though we had to pay out of pocket and get reimbursed later.
• 20:44
  Asha: Um, we left that appointment.
• 20:46
  Asha: They gave um Evan the packet of decisions because I was like, I love it here a hundred percent.
• 20:52
  Asha: But they could tell that he needed a little convincing.
• 20:54
  Asha: So they gave him all the paperwork and they were like, just let us know.
• 20:58
  Asha: And then we left, and he was like, I can't imagine you giving birth anywhere else.
• 21:04
  Asha: Like the the difference is so big that this this has to be the place.
• 21:10
  Asha: And like, if you if you only ever give birth once, I want this to be the place that you give birth.
• 21:15
  Asha: Like, I want this to be the right feeling.
• 21:18
  Asha: And I was like, Yes.
• 21:19
  Asha: Um, so we we went to Holly number seven and made it to all of the appointments.
• 21:23
  Asha: And yeah, I loved it there.
• 21:26
  Asha: I love them.
• 21:27
  Angela: Oh, that's so sweet.
• 21:29
  Angela: Yeah.
• 21:30
  Angela: So how were things looking?
• 21:33
  Angela: Like, how are your appointments looking?
• 21:35
  Asha: Yeah, the appointments were like an hour long or almost an hour long every time.
• 21:40
  Asha: And they basically they kind of felt like therapy sessions.
• 21:44
  Asha: Every time I went in, I would just like vent about all of the things pregnancy and family related.
• 21:48
  Asha: And they would be like, Yeah, yeah, take some more magnesium every time because I I had a lot of achiness and I had a lot of trouble sleeping.
• 21:56
  Asha: And so magnesium was like the thing that they would always suggest, and it did help.
• 21:59
  Asha: In pregnancy, I had a lot of food aversions.
• 22:03
  Asha: Like I didn't have a ton of nausea.
• 22:04
  Asha: I didn't throw up very much, only a few times.
• 22:07
  Asha: Um, but I was like disgusted with some kinds of food.
• 22:11
  Asha: And so I had a very small amount of safe foods, which I didn't know was possible.
• 22:15
  Asha: I was like prepared for the morning sickness in it mentally, anyway.
• 22:19
  Asha: I know that it can be really intense for some people, but like I was prepared mentally for morning sickness.
• 22:24
  Asha: I was not really prepared to hate like all food.
• 22:27
  Asha: Like for my first trimester into my second trimester, I could eat bagels with cream cheese, and that was it.
• 22:33
  Asha: Like I and my midwives were like, could you try some fiber, maybe some fruit, maybe some protein, maybe, and so I did eventually my second trimester once once things kind of steadied out, um, I was able to have more nutrients.
• 22:52
  Asha: And my go-to snack was cottage cheese with honey and and like fruit on top.
• 22:59
  Asha: That was great.
• 23:00
  Asha: My mom loves cooking, it's like her love language is cooking for people, and so she would often come over and like make us a meal that would last throughout the week, and that was amazing.
• 23:12
  Asha: And then I had an anterior placenta, so my placenta was on the front, which made it a little bit harder to feel baby's kicks, but he had hiccups all the time, and that was like a whole tummy sensation.
• 23:26
  Asha: It felt like little pops in there, and that was great.
• 23:30
  Asha: There came a point in my pregnancy where I was like thinking about who was gonna be in the birthroom, and I knew my mom was gonna be there, and I knew the midwives were gonna be there, and I knew I didn't really feel like I needed um my my own doula that I hired because my mom was a doula, is a doula, and was my doula.
• 23:47
  Asha: I felt really confident with that.
• 23:49
  Asha: I also just felt confident about birth in general.
• 23:51
  Asha: Like I was like, I got this.
• 23:53
  Asha: And Evan is amazing.
• 23:55
  Asha: Evan's family didn't have a lot of babies in their lives.
• 23:59
  Asha: He's he's one of three siblings, but they were all born very close together.
• 24:02
  Asha: So he didn't get to have like uh an age where he felt like he knew anything about babies.
• 24:08
  Asha: So, but I did.
• 24:10
  Asha: I had big age gaps.
• 24:11
  Asha: I was 18 years old, finishing my high school finals with an infant on my chest.
• 24:16
  Asha: So I I felt really confident about the baby stuff, but Evan not so much.
• 24:21
  Asha: But we were we were both really excited.
• 24:23
  Asha: We went to a birth class and I kept adding information.
• 24:27
  Asha: It was the birth class at Holly No.
• 24:29
  Asha: And she was great.
• 24:32
  Asha: And she I felt so good adding information, and she also was so receptive to it that made it feel really good.
• 24:40
  Asha: I often add information to conversations or classes about a lot of things because I like to grab little facts and have them and then share them.
• 24:50
  Asha: Um, and in some settings, people feel a little threatened by that and a little like, can you just let the teacher teach?
• 24:55
  Asha: But the people in the class seemed really receptive to hearing what I had to say, and Leanne was super lovely.
• 25:00
  Asha: And then I got to stay afterwards and talk to her a little bit about being a doula, and I was like, What's your path?
• 25:06
  Asha: Like, what did you do?
• 25:07
  Asha: Um, so that was great.
• 25:08
  Asha: But when I was deciding who was gonna be in the room, I didn't know about inviting my little brother because he was gonna be like six years old, and he still at eight years old is like an intense little six-year-old or eight-year-old boy, but then six-year-old boy, he's got a lot of feelings.
• 25:29
  Asha: He's also very deeply emotional.
• 25:32
  Asha: So I think that actually my biggest regret of all was not having him there.
• 25:36
  Asha: I ultimately chose not to have him there.
• 25:38
  Asha: I didn't want my mom to feel like her attention was split, like she needed to manage him.
• 25:43
  Asha: And I didn't know like who else would be able to be there for him.
• 25:47
  Asha: I didn't want my sister, Ari, who I did end up inviting into that space, to feel like she had to manage him.
• 25:53
  Asha: So I ended up not going with him, but I I really do think that he would have like dropped in to himself and been able to observe like what was happening really deeply.
• 26:05
  Asha: And I he says that he wished that he had been there and I wish that he had been there.
• 26:09
  Asha: So that was my biggest regret.
• 26:10
  Asha: But I did end up inviting my sister.
• 26:13
  Asha: Um, she is seven years younger than me, and we have a sister dynamic, and sometimes it's not perfect.
• 26:18
  Asha: And so I was a little bit nervous choosing her to be there because it's like, what if she gets on my nerves and I like say something mean that I don't mean because I'm in labor and you know, you just say stuff when you're in there.
• 26:31
  Asha: So I was nervous, but I ended up giving her a job, and that felt good to everyone.
• 26:37
  Asha: I I asked her to take pictures and I was like, I don't care if they're professional pictures, whatever.
• 26:43
  Asha: I just want you to like be there and have a job so that I I we both felt like you were focused on something.
• 26:49
  Asha: And she did a great job.
• 26:50
  Asha: She even like got the video of Charlie coming out, which is amazing.
• 26:55
  Asha: I'm so happy that I have that.
• 26:57
  Asha: But she actually, my sister like took over.
• 27:00
  Asha: Oh, I don't know if I should get into the birth story yet because I just started.
• 27:05
  Angela: So I guess just like any last thoughts about your whole pregnancy, anything else that you want to add about like your appointments or yeah.
• 27:14
  Asha: Um, not so much about the appointments.
• 27:16
  Asha: I think I could say again that they were amazing and I loved being there at Holly No.
• 27:20
  Asha: Seven.
• 27:20
  Asha: It was so comfortable every time they made me tea and we talked and we got to listen to him with the little like stethoscope old timey listener thing, which was so cool.
• 27:32
  Asha: Uniscope, yeah.
• 27:33
  Asha: Yeah, thank you.
• 27:35
  Asha: But uh the other thing that I want to talk about about what happened for me during pregnancy was Evan and I are coordinators at the Common Ground Fair.
• 27:45
  Asha: And so we coordinate some of the camping areas, and we have been since I think the year before I was pregnant was our first year helping my mom coordinate.
• 27:55
  Asha: And then the year I was pregnant, we were like on our own.
• 27:58
  Asha: And uh that was the year of the owl shirts, and I hired a family friend of ours to do a maternity shoot at the Common Ground Fair because I have been going to Common Ground Fair since I was like two years old, and I have only missed my one-year-old one and then like one other when we were all really sick and we couldn't go, and then the ones that were on online or were canceled due to COVID.
• 28:20
  Asha: But so I've I it's like where my heart feels most at home, and so I really wanted our maternity photos to be there.
• 28:27
  Asha: So we did our maternity photos there.
• 28:28
  Asha: I was super pregnant.
• 28:30
  Asha: Let's see, it was the end of September, and I was due at the beginning of November.
• 28:33
  Asha: So I was like eight months pregnant, super pregnant.
• 28:38
  Asha: We brought a chair, a folding camping chair with us everywhere around the fair so that I could sit down at any time.
• 28:44
  Asha: And I had sewn these little puffy felted stars with Charlie's name, like a letter on each one.
• 28:53
  Asha: And we took a bunch of pictures all over the fair, and it was beautiful and wonderful.
• 29:02
  Asha: And my sister and her friend were like following us around during the photo shoot and like carrying our stuff.
• 29:09
  Asha: And I was a little bit like, what are you doing here?
• 29:12
  Asha: Because this is my maternity shoot, and you're like a teenager with your friend.
• 29:17
  Asha: Like, don't you want to go hang out with your other teenager friends at the fair?
• 29:21
  Asha: Like, I didn't really expect her to be along for that, but I was like, whatever, that's fine.
• 29:25
  Asha: And then we got to a really pretty part of the gardens, and I was like hugging Evan, and his heart was pounding really, really hard.
• 29:35
  Asha: And I was like, Are you okay?
• 29:38
  Asha: Like he, I know he doesn't like being the center of attention, so maybe he's just like having an anxiety response to being in a photo shoot.
• 29:46
  Asha: And then I have my head on my on his chest, and he's like, I love you so much.
• 29:52
  Asha: And I was like, I love you too.
• 29:56
  Asha: Uh, and then he got down on one knee and proposed to me in front of all of our friends and family who had like slowly congregated to follow us around the fair.
• 30:06
  Asha: And why are they following me?
• 30:09
  Asha: I know I was like, okay, guys, my little entourage, that's fine.
• 30:14
  Asha: But yeah, I was like, why are they following me?
• 30:16
  Asha: Um, and it was because Evan had told everyone and the photographer that he was going to propose to me.
• 30:22
  Asha: And so I didn't even notice.
• 30:25
  Asha: Like, my sister had handed him off the ring box at one point, and I didn't notice.
• 30:29
  Asha: You can see a picture of us with he has the ring box in one hand, and I'm like leaning on him, and I am oblivious.
• 30:35
  Asha: I did not know.
• 30:36
  Asha: And then uh my friend took a little video of it, and you can hear he says, Will you marry me?
• 30:43
  Asha: And my mom goes, Woo, go on.
• 30:47
  Asha: But I hadn't even said yes yet.
• 30:49
  Asha: She was just cheering for him.
• 30:52
  Asha: She loves it so much.
• 30:54
  Asha: So she was like, Yay! And then I said yes, and then she was like, Oh, I yay.
• 31:01
  Asha: Um, so that was really amazing.
• 31:03
  Asha: So we have beautiful professional photos of my maternity and also of him proposing, and that was great.
• 31:10
  Asha: And he proposed with his grandmother's ring, um, his mom's mom's ring that um that grandmother passed before he got to know her when his mother was a teenager.
• 31:23
  Asha: And so um, when he told his mom he wanted to propose, his mom offered this ring to him to propose to me.
• 31:31
  Asha: And he got it resized and cleaned, and it is so pretty and shiny.
• 31:35
  Asha: Yeah, we had gone ring shopping and I had picked something else that was very different.
• 31:39
  Asha: It was yellow gold, and it was a big diamond, and it had like a halo, and it was beautiful.
• 31:44
  Asha: But like every time I look at this, I'm like, this is perfect.
• 31:46
  Asha: This is exactly what I wanted.
• 31:48
  Asha: And then that night at the Common Ground Fair, the sky was like the craziest sunset I had ever seen.
• 31:55
  Asha: And I like cried thinking about like, I wonder if that's them, like Granny and Grabby, because both of her parents passed, so they're both somewhere up there, maybe.
• 32:05
  Asha: Um, and I was like, oh, if that's their blessing, like that feels so good.
• 32:10
  Asha: So anyway, oh my gosh, that was the story.
• 32:14
  Asha: Wow, that is that's incredible.
• 32:17
  Asha: Thank you.
• 32:18
  Asha: It was great.
• 32:19
  Asha: I am so yeah, love that.
• 32:23
  Angela: Yeah, oh my gosh, that's that's awesome.
• 32:26
  Angela: And so we're almost at like the common ground fair again.
• 32:29
  Asha: Yes, yes, and now the common ground fair is like we we got um a tin type photograph that first that year that we got engaged, and then we got a tin type photograph last year when Charlie was a baby, and then we're gonna do it again this year.
• 32:44
  Asha: It's gonna be like a family tradition.
• 32:46
  Asha: Wow.
• 32:47
  Asha: So yeah, common ground fair just like instantly got even more important and like my heart's home.
• 32:54
  Asha: Yeah, yeah.
• 32:56
  Asha: It was the perfect place to do it.
• 32:58
  Asha: Um I'm really impressed with him for for doing that.
• 33:02
  Asha: I was like, I wanted it to be a surprise.
• 33:04
  Asha: He knew I wanted to be a surprise, but I it was a surprise.
• 33:08
  Asha: I did not know.
• 33:11
  Angela: That's awesome.
• 33:12
  Angela: That's awesome.
• 33:13
  Angela: Well, please, I'm glad we didn't forget that piece.
• 33:16
  Asha: No, that's a pretty big one.
• 33:18
  Angela: Yeah.
• 33:19
  Angela: Yeah.
• 33:20
  Angela: I had one more question about you mentioned that when you signed up with Holly No.
• 33:25
  Angela: 7, they let you have pay out of pocket, but then you got reimbursed later.
• 33:28
  Angela: Do you care to share just a little bit about that?
• 33:30
  Angela: Because I know it can be such a challenge, like getting midwifery support and like using insurance for a lot of people.
• 33:36
  Angela: But yeah, absolutely.
• 33:38
  Asha: So my insurance at the time was through my employer and it was um Aetna, which I think is a pretty big one.
• 33:45
  Asha: Um, Aetna did tell me like what they would cover.
• 33:48
  Asha: It was like 80% if it was out of hospital, yada yada.
• 33:53
  Asha: They they told me all of it.
• 33:54
  Asha: But um, what ended up happening is Holly number seven works with an awesome person.
• 34:01
  Asha: And I forget her name or the team's name, but they work basically with a medical biller who goes up to bat for you with against your insurance.
• 34:11
  Asha: Like you give them your insurance information through Holly No.
• 34:15
  Asha: 7, and they submit the full bill, everything that you paid to your insurance.
• 34:21
  Asha: And if your insurance says meh, no, then they submit it again.
• 34:25
  Asha: And so they told me, like, you will get something back.
• 34:28
  Asha: It's probably not gonna be 100%, but you will get something back because this uh company, this billing company, like goes up to bat for you and argues for you, basically, against your insurance.
• 34:40
  Asha: Um, and so that's what happened.
• 34:42
  Asha: And we did not get 100% back.
• 34:44
  Asha: I don't remember what we got back, but we did get a check back.
• 34:47
  Asha: It is after baby is born.
• 34:50
  Asha: Um, and I think it was some months after baby was born that we got that check back because they have to wait until you pay the whole Holly number seven bill so that they can submit it all at once.
• 35:01
  Asha: But yeah, it's pretty straightforward.
• 35:03
  Asha: You just they have like a little worksheet that you do and you put your information in, and then you give it back to Holly number seven, or maybe we had to mail it to her.
• 35:12
  Asha: I I think maybe I had to mail it to the medical biller, but we did, and then she handled the rest, and then they told us like your check is coming in the mail, and so that was that.
• 35:24
  Asha: So it was a lot of out of pocket, but Holly number seven also breaks it up into payments.
• 35:29
  Asha: So we were paying, I think every every every maybe every six weeks, because I know it wasn't like once a month, it was a different um amount, but yeah, I think it was every six weeks.
• 35:43
  Asha: So it didn't fall like right on when rent was due.
• 35:47
  Asha: It was easy to kind of like save in a couple weeks chunks and then put it together and then give it to them.
• 35:53
  Asha: Um we were able to pay.
• 35:54
  Asha: We we ended up buying our first ever checkbook or ordering our first ever checkbook, big adults, to pay for Holly number seven, um, because it was the first thing that ever needed a check from us.
• 36:06
  Asha: And then with the ultrasounds at Holly Number Seven, I ended up only having two.
• 36:11
  Asha: We had the the first one, the dating ultrasound, and that's paid out of pocket and separately than Holly No.
• 36:18
  Asha: Seven, because uh the ultrasound technician is not like part of Holly No.
• 36:24
  Asha: Seven.
• 36:25
  Asha: But I think, like, all in all, and what the ultrasound tech told us is like even though we're paying out of pocket for the ultrasounds, it's actually still cheaper than going through insurance in a hospital because the hospital ultrasounds they'll charge you, they'll like on paper charge you $2,000 for this ultrasound, and then you're still billed for $600.
• 36:47
  Asha: Yeah.
• 36:49
  Asha: Like after insurance.
• 36:51
  Asha: But with this um ultrasound technician, even though we were paying $400 out of pocket, that's still less than we would have paid um out of pocket for uh uh in hospital in network.
• 37:01
  Asha: So that was interesting.
• 37:03
  Asha: Um, but yeah, and then we got our our um anatomy scan also around 20 weeks, and we paid out of pocket for that as well.
• 37:10
  Asha: But she also has options if you want to see baby more, you can.
• 37:13
  Asha: You just are paying out of pocket for that.
• 37:15
  Asha: And she also, I think in her office, not at Holly Number Seven, but if you travel to, she has a couple offices, I think, in Ellsworth and somewhere else, and then don't recall.
• 37:25
  Asha: Um I think it's indigo diagnostics.
• 37:28
  Asha: Yep, exactly.
• 37:29
  Asha: That is the name of it.
• 37:30
  Asha: And she also does like 3D ultrasounds if you wanted to get one of those fancy looking alien pictures.
• 37:37
  Asha: I always think that babies look like aliens in those pictures, but we didn't end up doing that.
• 37:42
  Asha: We just did we just did the the two, the dating and then the the 20-week um anatomy scan, and everything looked good.
• 37:50
  Asha: And well, we did also end up finding out that he was a boy.
• 37:55
  Asha: We were on the fence for a long time if we wanted to know during pregnancy or if we wanted to know when, like at birth, if we wanted to find out.
• 38:05
  Asha: And for a long time, I was team, let's just find out.
• 38:08
  Asha: And Evan was as Evan was very as he is with a lot of things, like I don't have a strong preference, so whichever one.
• 38:16
  Asha: And what ended up happening with that was we picked out our names that we wanted to name baby, if if they were a boy or a girl.
• 38:27
  Asha: And we knew that Charlie's name was gonna be Charles because that's Evan's middle name, and it's in honor of his uh late uncle who passed when he was a child, when the uncle was a child.
• 38:38
  Asha: So we we knew that we wanted to honor that side of his family, and so Evan Charles Bassett would would become Charles Bassett, and um I wanted to give him the middle name of my uncle, who's a really important part of my life.
• 38:51
  Asha: So he is Charles Michael Bassett.
• 38:53
  Asha: Um, but then we had another name picked out for a girl that we really, really liked too.
• 39:00
  Asha: And so when we were thinking about baby B, we were calling him Baby B because of Bassett being our last name.
• 39:07
  Asha: So we were saying B, like the letter, but also we called him B like a Bumblebee as well.
• 39:13
  Asha: We know a lot of Bumblebee themed things for him.
• 39:17
  Asha: Um, but yeah, we we wanted to know who was in there so that we could kind of like think about him and call call him by his name or her name if if it had been a girl.
• 39:27
  Asha: So so when we picked out our names, we were like, no, we really want to know who it is.
• 39:32
  Asha: So uh we ended up finding out at that 20-week ultrasound.
• 39:36
  Asha: And I was a little sad because Evan and I had both talked about having a girl and like daydreamed about having a girl first, and so I think that my mind was like going towards girl.
• 39:47
  Asha: That was my guess.
• 39:49
  Asha: And so when we found out that he was a boy, I was a little bit like bummer, like we're not having her this time, and we don't know if we're gonna have another baby, so maybe we just will not have her, and that's okay.
• 40:00
  Asha: Um, I got over it pretty quickly, but I think that gender disappointment is like totally real and valid and like a normal part of the process.
• 40:11
  Asha: Um, and I'm glad, I'm personally glad that I handled it right then and was able to like bond with him in pregnancy and like like wrap my head around him being Charlie.
• 40:22
  Asha: I know that some people prefer to find out when baby is born because all of the you know oxytocin and stuff that's rushing through your body when you have your baby, it's like there is barely any gender disappointment because you have no time.
• 40:35
  Asha: So it just works out differently for different people.
• 40:38
  Asha: But I was glad that I had the time to like really settle into thinking about Charlie and who he was gonna be.
• 40:45
  Angela: Yeah, that's really interesting.
• 40:47
  Angela: I've definitely heard that from several other moms, you know, that's the same similar experience.
• 40:52
  Angela: It's not abnormal.
• 40:53
  Asha: I will also add that part of the gender disappointment for me was that I am like a strong lady, and I was raised by a strong lady, and I was like so prepared to raise another strong lady.
• 41:11
  Asha: Like I felt really knowledgeable and confident about how I was gonna raise my daughter.
• 41:16
  Asha: Um, but I I did not spend as much time thinking about how to raise a son in today's world to be like respectful and kind and loving and like not fall into the the trap of like peer pressure and disrespecting women and their bodies and things.
• 41:35
  Asha: So like I had a lot of nervousness when I found out that I was having a boy of like, I don't really know how do I, how do you protect?
• 41:43
  Asha: Because no mother goes through raising their son like on purpose, raising a disrespectful or harmful boy.
• 41:50
  Asha: No one, no one does that on purpose, but like, how do I on purpose not do that?
• 41:55
  Asha: Like, how do I prevent that and and counteract for that?
• 41:59
  Asha: Because there's there's like active parenting and there's passive parenting, and maybe no one does it on purpose, but some people don't actively parent against that.
• 42:10
  Asha: And so I'm reading a lot of books and listening to a lot of podcasts, and it'll be an ongoing adventure for me.
• 42:16
  Asha: Um, but I have a really, I think one of the biggest parts is like I have a really awesome partner who's a male role model, and we have a lot of really awesome male role models in his life and continue to seek out really awesome male role models um of like men that we would want him to model himself after and to look up to.
• 42:37
  Angela: So yeah, yeah, I think that's so important.
• 42:40
  Angela: Like that's really a big piece of it, putting surrounding yourself with people like that, just like for women too, right?
• 42:45
  Asha: Yes, absolutely.
• 42:46
  Asha: I just felt so prepared to do it for a girl because I was like, I I already know.
• 42:52
  Angela: But yeah, that's great that you have that amazing like male support in your family too.
• 42:57
  Angela: You can feel good about that and just like that you care about it, you know.
• 43:01
  Angela: You're probably here on the right track.
• 43:03
  Angela: Thank you.
• 43:03
  Angela: Yeah, thank you.
• 43:05
  Angela: Yeah.
• 43:06
  Angela: So how was the rest of your pregnancy?
• 43:09
  Asha: Yeah, we did all the testing and I uh came back clear for everything.
• 43:14
  Asha: Nothing was the matter.
• 43:16
  Asha: My blood pressure was perfect throughout.
• 43:18
  Asha: I did not have um gestational diabetes, I did not have cryclampsia, like and they kept checking because I had told them the story of of MDI and how I was nervous about that.
• 43:29
  Asha: And so they they kept a close eye on it.
• 43:31
  Asha: The only thing that like went slightly wrong was I had low iron at some point in my late second trimester into my third trimester.
• 43:41
  Asha: And so then I got on an iron supplement.
• 43:43
  Asha: Um, I forget what it's called.
• 43:45
  Asha: It's the like iron and herbs uh glass bottle.
• 43:50
  Asha: It tastes kind of sweet.
• 43:52
  Asha: Um, it's like a little shot.
• 43:54
  Asha: And that's and I took that, and then my iron levels went back up, and it was it was pretty straightforward.
• 43:59
  Asha: Um, I I think nutrition is such an important part of pregnancy um in postpartum.
• 44:06
  Asha: And so I, with the nutritional support that I was getting from my mom and the advice, uh, like we had papers posted on our fridge of like what I should be eating from Holly number seven.
• 44:17
  Asha: Um, and that was that was really helpful.
• 44:19
  Asha: Um, but yeah, I I didn't have any um complications.
• 44:24
  Asha: My pregnancy was pretty, I feel very lucky.
• 44:27
  Asha: Like a lot of it, yes, was nutrition and was continuing to move.
• 44:32
  Asha: Um, I guess that was the other hard part was my my hips hurt so bad in my third trimester.
• 44:37
  Asha: And a lot of it was because I was working an online job in a remote position where I was sitting down for most of my day.
• 44:45
  Asha: And so my midwife was very much like, please get up and walk every hour, please.
• 44:51
  Asha: Um, and sometimes it was hard because I was in pain and I was like, I don't want to get up.
• 44:55
  Asha: Um, but my mom got me a standing disc when I was pregnant so that I could at least be like not sitting down the whole time.
• 45:04
  Asha: But yeah, yeah, that's huge.
• 45:06
  Angela: That's a really good idea too.
• 45:07
  Angela: That sleeping desk.
• 45:08
  Angela: That's it.
• 45:09
  Asha: I still have it and I still use it.
• 45:10
  Asha: I have a walking pad now that I got um after uh Charlie was born, but I used it.
• 45:17
  Angela: That's great.
• 45:18
  Angela: Cool.
• 45:19
  Angela: So so how are those kind of last final weeks and then days leading up to when your labor started?
• 45:24
  Angela: And yeah, how was your birth?
• 45:26
  Asha: Yeah, so um those last few weeks.
• 45:29
  Asha: So he was due on November 5th, so voting day in 2024.
• 45:35
  Asha: So we got our mail-in ballots and we filled them out and we mailed in.
• 45:39
  Asha: Yay, mail-in voting.
• 45:41
  Asha: Um, and that was great.
• 45:43
  Asha: And then I think that actually most people in our family did mail-in ballots because everyone was like on baby watch.
• 45:50
  Asha: And um we I kind of I kind of expected to go over my my due date because it's a range and it's my first, and my mom went over like a week and a half with me or something crazy, like five or seven days.
• 46:07
  Asha: Okay, so almost a week.
• 46:09
  Asha: Um but she went she went over in at least her first two pregnancies, maybe all three.
• 46:15
  Asha: And so I was I was really expecting to to go over my due date.
• 46:19
  Asha: Uh so the fifth came and went and we had on our calendar, and by then we're meeting with Holly number seven like once a week.
• 46:29
  Asha: And so we met with them earlier in the week, and they were like, could be baby time, anytime now, like here on out.
• 46:38
  Asha: It's like, we're on call for you.
• 46:40
  Asha: And um, so with Holly number seven, you don't know who you're gonna get as your midwife, like until the day they have like rotating shifts and people might be on different births and stuff.
• 46:49
  Asha: So I didn't know who I was gonna get.
• 46:50
  Asha: Um, and then I was like, Oh, I like what are ways that I can kind of help kickstart labor.
• 46:58
  Asha: And they're like, well, labor is kind of something that just like does itself.
• 47:03
  Asha: There's not much you can actually do, but here are some things that you can try that are not necessarily proven to kickstart labor, but anecdotally they help.
• 47:12
  Asha: So we did some curb walking and oh, I actually forgot.
• 47:17
  Asha: I did fall in pregnancy.
• 47:20
  Asha: Um, and this was this was a couple a few weeks before uh birth.
• 47:24
  Asha: And I was curb walking, and Evan was holding on to me, but I still stumbled and I it happened so quickly that he didn't grab me.
• 47:33
  Asha: I didn't bump my tummy, he did skin my knee pretty rough.
• 47:38
  Asha: Um, and we called the midwives and they said, You're probably fine.
• 47:41
  Asha: If you want to come in, we can listen.
• 47:43
  Asha: Um, I could still feel him moving, so I wasn't really worried, but I did have a boo-boo on my knee, and I was so bummed because I was like, I don't know if this is gonna be healed by the time of my labor, and and it hurt so bad, but I I know that I'm gonna want to like change positions, be on my hands and knees.
• 47:59
  Asha: And what about being on my hands and knees in the birth tub?
• 48:01
  Asha: Like, I was so bummed at myself uh because I had a skinned up knee, and I was like, oh no, is this gonna like change how I'm able to give birth?
• 48:09
  Asha: That's so sad.
• 48:10
  Asha: Um, it did ended up not impacting my birth that much.
• 48:14
  Asha: Uh, I didn't even notice it.
• 48:16
  Asha: I did still have like a little scab there, but it wasn't that bad.
• 48:19
  Asha: Um, but we did more curb walking.
• 48:22
  Asha: We had on our calendar for um November 8th to go to the Indian food place in Bangor that's kind of close to Holly number seven, because they told me, like, sometimes spicy food can like get you going.
• 48:36
  Asha: And we've heard from other local families that that Indian food place is really good.
• 48:40
  Asha: We've been there ourselves, like we order food from there often, and um, you could go, and maybe that would help.
• 48:46
  Asha: And so we had it on our calendar as like our last date, as just Evan and I.
• 48:50
  Asha: That's when we were gonna go.
• 48:52
  Asha: And I was so looking forward to that.
• 48:54
  Asha: And then on November 8th, at like 7 a.m., I was laying in bed next to Evan sleeping, and I felt like a huge pop.
• 49:03
  Asha: And I was like, that was strange.
• 49:08
  Asha: That was different.
• 49:10
  Asha: I've not felt that before.
• 49:12
  Asha: Um, and so then I laid in bed on my side and went through two big surges, like contractions.
• 49:20
  Asha: And I I couldn't count them.
• 49:24
  Asha: I wasn't paying attention to like the timing of them.
• 49:27
  Asha: I was just breathing through them and I was like, oh, those are not Braxton Hicks.
• 49:32
  Asha: I have felt Braxton Hicks, and those this is that's intense.
• 49:38
  Asha: Um, so I let two of them go.
• 49:40
  Asha: I tried to see if I could sleep through them because I knew that like early labor, labor's a marathon, especially with a first uh baby.
• 49:48
  Asha: Like, I could be doing this for 24 or 48 hours.
• 49:51
  Asha: Like, worst case scenario, heaven forbid, but like some people go really long with their first, especially.
• 49:58
  Asha: So I was like, I gotta settle in.
• 49:59
  Asha: So I tried to go to sleep, it didn't work.
• 50:01
  Asha: I went through two contractions, and then I was like, I really have to pee.
• 50:05
  Asha: So I woke Evan up and I was like, I need you to help me pee.
• 50:09
  Asha: Because at that point, I was so pregnant that like turning around is such an effort.
• 50:13
  Asha: So he was like, Okay, and he got up and um he like helped me, supported me off the bed, and I stood up and it was like all down my legs and on the floor.
• 50:26
  Asha: And I was like, I didn't pee myself.
• 50:29
  Asha: That was not pee.
• 50:30
  Asha: I did not pee myself, and he's like holding me, like, okay, I believe you.
• 50:37
  Asha: And so then he like helped me waddle into the bathroom and I sat on the toilet and I peed and I looked at my underwear, and I like could I couldn't see a mucus plug specifically, uh, but but my underwear were drenched, and so I was like looking at everything and trying to see if I could tell, was it bloody?
• 50:56
  Asha: Was it clear?
• 50:56
  Asha: Was did it smell like all the things that they ask you?
• 50:59
  Asha: Um, and it was it was clear and it didn't really smell like much, kind of sweet.
• 51:06
  Asha: Um, and so Evan called Holly number seven and they asked all those questions, and I answered, and they were like, We're so excited for you.
• 51:14
  Asha: We'll see you like tonight or in the morning, maybe like labor at home as long as you need, and and we'll be here.
• 51:21
  Asha: Like, let us know how things go.
• 51:23
  Asha: Feel free to text us or call us whenever if you have any questions.
• 51:26
  Asha: Um, so then I I called my mom.
• 51:30
  Asha: I actually think I might have called my mom first, and then Evan called the the Holly number seven.
• 51:34
  Asha: Um, but yeah, so Jenna was the one who was on call at Holly number seven.
• 51:38
  Asha: She was the one who took us, uh took our call and said congratulations first um with the with the labor.
• 51:45
  Asha: And then my mom was on her way.
• 51:46
  Asha: She had to drop Georgie off with his dad and then come up to Milford from Orleans, so like 45 minutes.
• 51:53
  Asha: Um, and then she told Ari, and Ari started to come too.
• 51:57
  Asha: Um, and then mom got there, and I hopped in the shower.
• 52:03
  Asha: And this whole time I was like having contractions, but not super fast, just like going through it.
• 52:10
  Asha: Um, spent a good amount of time on the toilet, which is the dilation station, and then got in the shower for some some like warm hot water therapy.
• 52:21
  Asha: My lower back was hurting pretty bad.
• 52:23
  Asha: I washed my hair, got out of the shower.
• 52:26
  Asha: My mom braided my hair, which was something that I really wanted.
• 52:29
  Asha: My sister got there and was taking pictures of me.
• 52:31
  Asha: So we have some pictures of my mom braiding my hair, uh sitting on the yoga ball.
• 52:36
  Asha: Um, then my mom made me a really yummy oatmeal that was like really nutritious, had like whole milk and um I don't know, berries or raisins or something.
• 52:47
  Asha: And then she gave me the oatmeal and I had oatmeal because our our plan was to like feed me throughout early labor so that I could keep my energy reserved for later labor.
• 52:59
  Asha: And so labor started when my water broke at like 7 a.m.
• 53:04
  Asha: And then somewhere around like 11, it was getting pretty intense, and I was like on my hands and knees on the couch, and Evan was doing hip squeezes, and I had a hot washcloth on my lower back because it hurts so bad.
• 53:18
  Asha: Um, and I have pictures of Evan doing hip squeezes for me on the couch, and our dog Alaska is like laying in between his legs or like right behind him because she was like stick staying close to us.
• 53:30
  Asha: Um, and then I threw up, and my mom, who's a doula, was like, um usually throwing up is like a sign of transition, like a later part of labor.
• 53:46
  Asha: Um, so my mom ended up calling Holly No.
• 53:49
  Asha: 7 again and being like, what do you guys think?
• 53:51
  Asha: Like, should we come in?
• 53:53
  Asha: Um, and they said, Yeah, I mean, whenever you feel comfortable, um, it's still really early in her labor.
• 54:00
  Asha: Like, it's only been what, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, like four or five hours since she started.
• 54:08
  Asha: So, like, if you want to come in, you can.
• 54:11
  Asha: Um, and I was like, Yes, I do want to go in because I don't want to go in later than now because I'm already feeling really uncomfortable.
• 54:18
  Asha: And if I have to travel feeling worse than this, I'm gonna hate it.
• 54:22
  Asha: It's gonna be terrible.
• 54:23
  Asha: Um, so we Evan packed up the car and we put a puppy pad in the front seat.
• 54:29
  Asha: And I we got in and we drove to Holly number seven, us in our car, and my mom and my sister in my mom's car.
• 54:38
  Asha: So that was that was like the first part.
• 54:42
  Asha: And then um we did get to Holly number seven, and the midwives who were assigned to me were not there yet.
• 54:49
  Asha: It was still just Jenna.
• 54:50
  Asha: So Jenna got us settled in, and then my midwives end up being Julie and Chris, which was awesome.
• 55:00
  Asha: Um, they were the most senior of Holly No.
• 55:02
  Asha: 7.
• 55:03
  Asha: They no longer work at Holly No.
• 55:04
  Asha: 7.
• 55:05
  Asha: Chris has retired, and I think Julie is doing mostly um like home births.
• 55:11
  Asha: Now I do think that Julie's still practicing, just not with Holly number seven.
• 55:15
  Asha: Um, all amicable.
• 55:16
  Asha: They were just going on their different paths, but I know that Holly number seven has a new um midwife has joined, and I think one, if not both, of the Gabbies have um certified.
• 55:29
  Asha: I got Gabby G, right?
• 55:31
  Asha: I wrote it down to make sure.
• 55:34
  Asha: So yeah, Gabby G.
• 55:35
  Asha: So I had Julie and Chris and Gabby G, and I got my favorite room, which was the delicata squash room.
• 55:41
  Asha: It's the room that faces the road.
• 55:43
  Asha: I really love the light in there.
• 55:45
  Asha: I also love delicata squash.
• 55:47
  Asha: So I was like, I really want that room.
• 55:49
  Asha: So I got the the delicata squash room.
• 55:52
  Asha: Um, I think the other room is the leak room.
• 55:56
  Asha: The leak room, yeah.
• 55:57
  Asha: And I love that room too.
• 55:59
  Asha: And they're both great and they are both basically identical, but it's just the painting that's different.
• 56:05
  Asha: Um, but yeah, I got the I got the room that I was excited to have.
• 56:09
  Asha: And I don't remember what I was at when they did a surgical check when I entered, but I did know that it was not time to go in the tub.
• 56:18
  Asha: And I was a little bumped because I wanted to go in the tub, but they were like, we want you to be a little bit further along because if we get you in there too early, sometimes you can your labor can slow down.
• 56:28
  Asha: So we did a lot of moving around on the bed and a lot of time in the shower.
• 56:34
  Asha: I would sit on the yoga ball and and just let the shower hit my lower back, and that felt so good.
• 56:42
  Asha: For most of it, Evan was holding me so that I could have some traction on my back that felt good, swaying back and forth on the ball.
• 56:49
  Asha: And then at one point, he had to like go to the bathroom and eat something because my mom was like, Evan, you need you need to eat too.
• 56:58
  Asha: You also need to fuel yourself, even though you're not giving birth.
• 57:02
  Asha: You it is a full day.
• 57:04
  Asha: Um, and Evan is one of those people where like if other people aren't eating, it's not like something that he's gonna do for himself very easily.
• 57:11
  Asha: He'll do like bare minimum, unless other people are doing it.
• 57:14
  Asha: So mom had to be very like, Mom, let's go.
• 57:17
  Asha: So then my my baby sister got in the shower with me and took his place.
• 57:25
  Asha: And I leaned on my little sister, um, who was 16 or 17 at the time, and um yeah, and she held me while I continued laboring while my partner went and refueled and used the restroom and had some water, and that was so awesome.
• 57:46
  Asha: And she was like just as strong as him and just as steady and was really present.
• 57:52
  Asha: She was amazing.
• 57:53
  Asha: I am so grateful that I had her there.
• 57:55
  Asha: I feel bad that I hesitated at all inviting her because she was amazing.
• 57:59
  Asha: There were some times too later where she was like holding my hand and washing my face and giving me sips of water, like she was a really amazing birth attendant.
• 58:08
  Asha: But yeah, I then got out of the shower at one point.
• 58:14
  Asha: I did go use the bathroom a couple times, and like pooping was helping move things along, and the baby was helping move that along.
• 58:23
  Asha: And um, so then I got out of the shower at one point and I was like, Can you check me if I really want to go in the tub?
• 58:29
  Asha: And they were like, Yeah.
• 58:30
  Asha: And so they checked and they were like, You can go in the tub.
• 58:33
  Asha: And then I cried, and then Evan cried, and then my mom cried because we were all so excited that that was like the next step and we were getting closer.
• 58:41
  Asha: Um, and so then I got in a tub, and being in a tub was a little strange, actually.
• 58:47
  Asha: I thought it was gonna be amazing.
• 58:49
  Asha: I thought it was gonna be exactly what I needed.
• 58:51
  Asha: I watched my mom give birth in tubs, like I thought that that was gonna be perfect, but not having gravity was like hard for me, actually.
• 59:01
  Asha: Like the floating feeling, I felt a little bit less in control and a little bit less like things were like working.
• 59:10
  Asha: And so I was in there and it was nice and it was warm.
• 59:14
  Asha: They have to keep it at a certain temperature to make sure that it is like safe.
• 59:18
  Asha: And um, I was feeling like really tired, and and every uh surge that came was like stronger and stronger.
• 59:28
  Asha: So I knew that labor was progressing.
• 59:30
  Asha: It wasn't that it wasn't progressing, it just felt harder for me in the tub.
• 59:36
  Asha: And then at some point, they kept giving me little sips of water in between.
• 59:40
  Asha: And I was like basically, once I got in the tub, basically I was like in the cave.
• 59:44
  Asha: I was probably getting into transition.
• 59:46
  Asha: And so I was in the tub, and basically the only thing that I said in the tub was water, and they would give me a sip of water, and then I would go through a contraction, and then I would ask for water again, and they would give me a sip of water.
• 59:58
  Asha: And at one point, um, my mom asked if she could give me some honey, and the midwives were like, not yet, because we don't think she's quite close enough.
• 1:00:08
  Asha: We're worried that if we gave her some honey now, honey is a great like nutritional support in birth because it gives you a kick of sugar, and that can help your body.
• 1:00:19
  Asha: Um, but it can also crash your body really quickly because it's such a kick of sugar.
• 1:00:25
  Asha: And so they were like, let's not not just yet, because we want to we want her to get a little bit closer and then we can help her push through that last part.
• 1:00:34
  Asha: So then I started um pushing in the tub, and and that was that was so intense.
• 1:00:42
  Asha: And um, I we have a picture actually of because baby kept coming close and then going back and then coming close and going back, and that's totally a normal part of birth.
• 1:00:53
  Asha: Um, but uh we have a picture of them going, Evan, your baby's right there.
• 1:00:58
  Asha: Do you want to feel?
• 1:00:59
  Asha: And Evan feeling, and he we have a picture of him like feeling baby's head and looking up at my mom and sister, who are looking up at him, grinning.
• 1:01:08
  Asha: And in the moment, can't hear it obviously because it's a photo, but in the moment he goes, That's my baby.
• 1:01:14
  Asha: And they were like, Yes, that's your baby.
• 1:01:18
  Asha: And I was like, I was so out of it that my face in the picture is like really pushing.
• 1:01:25
  Asha: Um, but the whole time that I was pushing, the whole time that I was in transition, you know, a lot of people get to this point where they're like, I can't do it anymore.
• 1:01:35
  Asha: And that's when you know, as a birth worker or as someone who's done it before, you're like, and you're about to, like you are doing it, and your baby is right around the corner.
• 1:01:44
  Asha: Like when people say I can't do it anymore, is usually like minutes before you meet your baby.
• 1:01:50
  Asha: I didn't say I can't do it.
• 1:01:53
  Asha: And I kept kind of waiting for my brain to hit the wall.
• 1:01:56
  Asha: I kept being like, where is it?
• 1:01:58
  Asha: So I guess maybe that's why I felt like labor wasn't progressing or like I wasn't doing enough, was because I kept, I kept not reaching that point of I can't do it.
• 1:02:06
  Asha: And I kept being like, oh my God, this is gonna go on forever.
• 1:02:09
  Asha: But I kept being in this mindset of like, I just want to be my baby.
• 1:02:14
  Asha: I just want my baby.
• 1:02:15
  Asha: So instead of saying, I can't do it, I just kept being like, I want my baby.
• 1:02:20
  Asha: I want my baby over and over.
• 1:02:22
  Asha: That was my mantra.
• 1:02:23
  Asha: I want my baby.
• 1:02:24
  Asha: And they let me feel his head, and I was like, yes.
• 1:02:27
  Asha: But I was getting really hot in the tub, and I was like feeling like I didn't know if I was gonna like give birth in the tub, but I also was feeling like I can't ask, like his head is almost like right there, like I can feel his head.
• 1:02:41
  Asha: So like I can't ask to get out of the tub.
• 1:02:44
  Asha: That's gonna be really hard to get out of the tub.
• 1:02:46
  Asha: And then Chris, who is a wonderful midwife who has witnessed so, so many births, like clocked it.
• 1:02:55
  Asha: And she from sitting on the bed looked at me and she was like, Do you want to get out of the tub?
• 1:03:02
  Asha: And I was like, I nodded because I couldn't talk.
• 1:03:06
  Asha: I was so deep in there.
• 1:03:07
  Asha: I was already pushing that.
• 1:03:09
  Asha: I was like, I can't say anything, I can't even get the words out to ask to get out of the tub.
• 1:03:13
  Asha: So when she was like, Do you want to get out of the tub?
• 1:03:15
  Asha: I was like, Yes, please.
• 1:03:17
  Asha: I nodded, yes.
• 1:03:18
  Asha: And so they were like, Okay, let's get out of the tub.
• 1:03:21
  Asha: And so they got me out of the tub.
• 1:03:23
  Asha: And then we sat up on the edge of the bed.
• 1:03:27
  Asha: Evan was sitting behind me, and my mom got up on the bed to support him so that he was leaning on her and she was like supporting his back and looking around his shoulder.
• 1:03:38
  Asha: And then I was like on the edge of the bed, like off the edge of the bed, really, because I was um on a birth stool.
• 1:03:45
  Asha: They put me on a really low burststool.
• 1:03:47
  Asha: They had two burststools, one was lower and one was higher.
• 1:03:50
  Asha: They put me on the really low birth stool, and I was like, No, I can't do that.
• 1:03:55
  Asha: I don't want it.
• 1:03:56
  Asha: Can I do the other one?
• 1:03:57
  Asha: And so they put me on the other one, and immediately they were like, No, you gotta do the lower one.
• 1:04:03
  Asha: Like, you are so close on the lower one.
• 1:04:06
  Asha: Like, please, like, let's try the lower one again.
• 1:04:09
  Asha: It hurts, yes, but like you are so close.
• 1:04:13
  Asha: And I was like, Okay.
• 1:04:14
  Asha: And so they put me on the lower one.
• 1:04:16
  Asha: And you know, all of this is not them pressuring me, but them guiding the birth and like letting me know it.
• 1:04:23
  Asha: I never felt pressured to change my mind.
• 1:04:25
  Asha: Like, if I had said no, I don't want to, they would have just rolled with it.
• 1:04:29
  Asha: But they knew from experience, and they knew me as their as their birthing client that I would be open to changing things up and that I would be open to their input.
• 1:04:38
  Angela: So they were it's like that relationship building so much in the prenatal visits.
• 1:04:43
  Angela: Like by the time you get to the birth, you know, like each other.
• 1:04:47
  Asha: Exactly, exactly.
• 1:04:48
  Asha: And so they knew that like I wasn't gonna be offended if they told me that things needed to change.
• 1:04:52
  Asha: Like they, and I'm sure that they build relationships with their other clients too, that like maybe they need to step back a little bit more in other births or be even more strongly opinionated or suggestive in other uh relationships.
• 1:05:05
  Asha: But yeah, I the hour-long um, you know, prenatals are just so important and valuable.
• 1:05:12
  Asha: I love that so much.
• 1:05:14
  Asha: It feels so personal and like I know these people.
• 1:05:16
  Asha: Um, and so yeah, so they put me back on the lower birth stool, and I could like feel his head, and they were all like, You are so close, and Evan was holding me.
• 1:05:29
  Asha: And then I have a series of photos that my sister took because my sister was standing behind the the midwives.
• 1:05:35
  Asha: The midwives were on the floor between my legs, and then it's me being held up by Evan, being held up by my mom.
• 1:05:42
  Asha: And I have a series of photos of me pushing.
• 1:05:46
  Asha: And because I had been pushing, I had been pushing for a while, like maybe an hour or two.
• 1:05:51
  Asha: I'm not sure exactly the timeline.
• 1:05:53
  Asha: I I have the paperwork somewhere of my my birth log that they did for me, but I don't.
• 1:05:59
  Asha: Know where it is right now, but um I'd been pushing for a while enough that he had a pretty big cone head.
• 1:06:05
  Asha: And so when he when I got his head out, and they had been, oh, they also they supported my perennium with hot cloths the whole time, which was amazing.
• 1:06:16
  Asha: And so they were really good at coaching when to push, and I was so so close, and they were like, You're gonna get the head out on this next push, push really hard, you got it.
• 1:06:25
  Asha: And so I pushed and I got his head out, but then they were like, Feel your baby, your baby's here.
• 1:06:29
  Asha: And I reached down and I couldn't find his face because he had such a big cone head, his head was so large that I was like, Where is he?
• 1:06:38
  Asha: I don't know.
• 1:06:39
  Asha: But I have photos of Evan's face changing as he looked over my shoulder and I pushed the rest of Charlie out.
• 1:06:51
  Asha: And they were like, catch your baby, catch your baby.
• 1:06:53
  Asha: And so I caught my baby and brought him up onto my chest.
• 1:06:57
  Asha: And Evan's face changes.
• 1:06:59
  Asha: And the people who are watching or listening are not going to be able to see the face, but his face changes from like just quietly observing to like slowly his mouth opens wider and wider and wider.
• 1:07:12
  Asha: And he's like, Oh my god, that just happened.
• 1:07:18
  Asha: Um, and then you can see my mom's like smile in the back getting bigger and bigger.
• 1:07:23
  Asha: Um, and I was, I was, I like immediately started crying.
• 1:07:27
  Asha: I was like, My baby, that's my baby.
• 1:07:29
  Asha: And they were like, Yes.
• 1:07:30
  Asha: And then he didn't cry right away.
• 1:07:32
  Asha: So I was really nervous.
• 1:07:33
  Asha: I was like rubbing his back, and they were like, He's okay, he's all right, like it's okay.
• 1:07:37
  Asha: Because I was like, he needs to cry, but they were like, No, it's our he's okay.
• 1:07:41
  Asha: And so he was so calm and quiet.
• 1:07:45
  Asha: Like he did end up crying a little bit, but he did not cry for very long.
• 1:07:49
  Asha: Um, and my sister started bawling, obviously, because very few people can make it through witnessing birth and not cry.
• 1:07:59
  Asha: It's so powerful.
• 1:08:01
  Asha: Um, and yeah, so she started crying, and then she hugged one of my midwives, and she hugged my mom.
• 1:08:07
  Asha: I have a video of them hugging and my mom of my sister sobbing.
• 1:08:10
  Asha: It's so sweet.
• 1:08:12
  Asha: And then they they got me back up into the bed, and I have beautiful pictures of Evan and I looking at each other, Charlie in my arms, and like my umbilical cord on my tummy, uh, which I just I love those pictures.
• 1:08:27
  Asha: And then he latched pretty quickly.
• 1:08:30
  Asha: And oh, he was born at 8 p.m., by the way.
• 1:08:34
  Asha: So my labor started at 7 a.m.
• 1:08:36
  Asha: And he was born at like 817 p.m.
• 1:08:40
  Asha: So it was like a 12-hour birth.
• 1:08:42
  Asha: My midwives looked at me while I was still there and they were like, if you have another baby, you might want to consider a home birth.
• 1:08:50
  Asha: Because that was that was pretty quick for the first one, and they usually only get quicker than that.
• 1:08:55
  Asha: Um, so yeah, that was really cool.
• 1:08:59
  Asha: Um, yeah, he he latched.
• 1:09:01
  Asha: My mom had been cooking a like veggie heavy curry all day in their little kitchen, and so she brought that to me, and they made um really yummy grilled cheeses because they had told me that a lot of their birthing folks had grilled cheeses as their first meal after birth, and that was like a theme at that time that was going around, and I was like, I want that's what I want.
• 1:09:26
  Asha: I want that, and it's so good.
• 1:09:28
  Asha: Oh my god.
• 1:09:29
  Asha: Um, yeah, and then uh I birthed the placenta.
• 1:09:36
  Asha: That was pretty easy.
• 1:09:37
  Asha: We just hung out until it came out.
• 1:09:39
  Asha: We waited until the cord was um white and sloppy.
• 1:09:43
  Asha: I don't, I don't remember how long it took, but we waited um for his cord to be white, and um and then Evan got to cut the cord, and um we looked at the placenta because the the midwives have to look at the placenta um to like see, check it, and if they they log it.
• 1:10:04
  Asha: And my placenta had a like an extra little lobe on it, like a like a little second part.
• 1:10:13
  Asha: So it has like the full placenta, and then it had a it's an an additional little guy on there, little extra part.
• 1:10:20
  Asha: So that was cool.
• 1:10:21
  Asha: Uh and they were like, that's pretty normal, like that's not anything to worry about, but it is interesting and unique.
• 1:10:27
  Asha: Um, and then we uh took some prints, I think the next day at home of my placenta, which are up here on the wall behind me.
• 1:10:35
  Asha: I want to get them framed, but right now they're just hanging out.
• 1:10:37
  Asha: Um but yeah, Evan got to change his first diaper or like put his first diaper on a baby ever.
• 1:10:45
  Asha: They they helped him do that, and then um we put him in his going home outfit, which was the same outfit that I wore and my sister wore and my brother wore.
• 1:10:57
  Asha: Um, and I have pictures of Evan holding baby Charlie all dressed up in his little baby outfit.
• 1:11:05
  Asha: Um, and then Evan got him into the car seat, and I was like, no, babe, you gotta do it like that in the Midwest.
• 1:11:13
  Asha: We're like, ah, you guys are gonna parent so differently.
• 1:11:18
  Asha: And that's important.
• 1:11:20
  Asha: Charlie needs that.
• 1:11:23
  Asha: You guys are gonna have different ways of doing things and different ways of looking at things, and you need to let Evan figure that out for himself.
• 1:11:32
  Asha: He's gotta learn it, and then he's gonna do it, and he's gonna do it differently, and that's healthy, that's good.
• 1:11:39
  Asha: We want that.
• 1:11:40
  Asha: That is a healthy way for a child to be raised, is with two different parents.
• 1:11:44
  Asha: So whenever you feel that urge to like micromanage, just try and take a breath and take a step back because he's gonna do it differently.
• 1:11:53
  Asha: It's gonna feel like it's wrong, but it's not wrong, it's just different.
• 1:11:58
  Asha: So I that was the advice that I got, and that's a piece of advice that I have to other new parents.
• 1:12:03
  Asha: I also have another piece of advice, um, which is the postpartum is so important.
• 1:12:10
  Asha: And and planning for postpartum is like just as, if not more important than your birth plan.
• 1:12:17
  Asha: Like your birth plan, your birth is gonna change, your birth is gonna do its own thing, your body is gonna do its own thing.
• 1:12:23
  Asha: Birth plans are great to have because it's an educational tool.
• 1:12:26
  Asha: You get to learn about all of the different things that you have access to that you might want, but then things change, and it's really a guide more than a plan.
• 1:12:34
  Asha: But like planning for postpartum is so important.
• 1:12:40
  Angela: Um, and so yeah, it can feel like birth is like the big event, and that's the during pregnancy, the big thing to be thinking about.
• 1:12:48
  Angela: But please don't anybody forget about the postpartum.
• 1:12:51
  Asha: Yes, it's so important.
• 1:12:53
  Asha: And so setting yourself for up for success, like there are meal trains that you can, there's like a meal train website you can you can or your friends or your family or whoever can set up for you and sign up to bring you meals.
• 1:13:07
  Asha: Um, we did a little bit of meal train, but then my mom actually ended up staying with us for two weeks after Charlie was born, which was like the most valuable thing.
• 1:13:20
  Asha: And if I didn't have my mom, like I should have hired that help.
• 1:13:24
  Asha: Like, I'm so grateful that my mom was able to be there for me.
• 1:13:27
  Asha: But my biggest advice is like, if you can't afford a post like a birth doula, a postpartum doula, please.
• 1:13:35
  Asha: Someone to come over and clean your house and walk your pets and and do your laundry and make you food because it is so hard to do that alone.
• 1:13:45
  Asha: And it is so helpful to have someone who's like dedicated to that.
• 1:13:50
  Asha: So my mom ended up staying for two weeks.
• 1:13:54
  Asha: She made us food every day, breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
• 1:13:57
  Asha: I had uh 12 weeks off of work.
• 1:14:01
  Asha: My my company has a pretty progressive in America um leave, postpartum leave plan.
• 1:14:08
  Asha: So I got 12 weeks.
• 1:14:09
  Asha: Evan got four weeks as um the other parent, which is also very progressive for America.
• 1:14:16
  Asha: Um, we didn't have to take that, like we didn't have to take unpaid time.
• 1:14:20
  Asha: That was all paid time off um for the birth of our baby.
• 1:14:24
  Asha: And so Evan got to be with me for those first two weeks and then two more weeks while we just figured it out together.
• 1:14:29
  Asha: But for those first two weeks, we basically like the first we did the five five five method as well.
• 1:14:34
  Asha: My mom supported us through the five five five method, which is five days in bed and then five days on bed, and then five days around the bed, which is just loosely like for the first five days, don't move.
• 1:14:46
  Asha: Don't move, keep your legs together, lay down.
• 1:14:48
  Asha: The only thing you should move for is going eat.
• 1:14:51
  Asha: That's it.
• 1:14:52
  Asha: And then the next five days is like you could move a little bit, you could you could go outside and then come back and lay down, like a little bit more movement, but then around bed is like in your house, out and about, like you, you could go sit on the couch and go for a walk.
• 1:15:08
  Asha: Um, but like small movements to start.
• 1:15:11
  Asha: And some people super agree with the five five five, and some people less agree with the five five five, some people want more movement, like it's very individual, and and that's fine.
• 1:15:21
  Asha: But it worked really well for us.
• 1:15:22
  Asha: And so those first five days, we basically just laid in bed and bonded with our baby.
• 1:15:27
  Asha: And oh my god, I remember I don't was it the first night or the second night that Charlie had his um what's it called?
• 1:15:34
  Asha: Merc Mark McConium poo, um, which is like black sticky tar poo, and it's scary.
• 1:15:43
  Asha: And I knew that it was gonna happen because I I was informed and they told me, but it the the poo, like we went to change his diaper and there was poo in there, and then he just started pooping more, and it just kept coming out.
• 1:15:58
  Asha: There was so much for a newborn, he was like two days old, and there was so much poop, and he just kept pooping.
• 1:16:04
  Asha: We had to like switch out to a second diaper to catch more of the poo, and it just kept coming.
• 1:16:10
  Asha: But definitely those first few days, I was doing a lot of um logging, tracking, tracking his wet diapers, and tracking his poop diapers, and tracking which side we breastfed on and how much, like how long, and then which other side, and then tracking his sleep, and it felt helpful in the moment, but like it didn't end up being that important to track.
• 1:16:34
  Asha: Um the the hair tie method was really helpful where um I had a specific hair tie that I would put on the side that I had breastfed on most recently.
• 1:16:45
  Asha: And then when I breastfed, I switched it over to the other side to that to help me um remember which side it was on.
• 1:16:52
  Asha: Breastfeeding was hard at first, it hurt really bad.
• 1:16:58
  Asha: Um, and he wasn't latching very well, like it wasn't he wasn't like taking a big bite, he was just getting just the tip of my nipple, which hurt so bad and also was not very effective for breastfeeding.
• 1:17:12
  Asha: So um we got some nipple shields to see if that would work, and that didn't really work.
• 1:17:16
  Asha: And ultimately it was just practice, like we just had to keep going for it and trust that he was getting enough, he had colostrum, like we were he we tried all the time, breastfeeding all the time, and for those first like three to five five five the first 15 days, we were basically like in bed naked together all the time.
• 1:17:41
  Asha: He had a diaper on, I had a diaper on.
• 1:17:43
  Asha: We both had diapers on, but other than that, we were like naked and cozy in our bed, skin to skin.
• 1:17:49
  Asha: I was smelling him all the time.
• 1:17:51
  Asha: Um, and we just kept breastfeeding like every two hours and figuring it out.
• 1:17:57
  Asha: And um, yeah, we we ended up not needing the support of a lactation specialist.
• 1:18:03
  Asha: We just used my mom, my my doula mom and the midwives as support.
• 1:18:08
  Asha: Um, but he was steadily gaining and uh we weren't worried about his weight or anything.
• 1:18:14
  Asha: Um oh I forgot to mention, speaking of his weight, um, he was like nine pounds, 13 ounces or something insane.
• 1:18:27
  Asha: Like I don't have it written down right now.
• 1:18:28
  Asha: A big baby.
• 1:18:30
  Asha: Um, and his head was 14 inches circumference.
• 1:18:35
  Asha: So that was crazy.
• 1:18:38
  Asha: Oh let's see nine pounds six ounces and 21 inches long.
• 1:18:47
  Asha: Wow, sounds a big first baby.
• 1:18:52
  Asha: Yeah.
• 1:18:52
  Asha: So right after, or when we were um in labor, Evan also um was updating his family the whole time um and letting them know what was going on.
• 1:19:06
  Asha: And um that that was something that I wanted for them, and that was something that they wanted.
• 1:19:10
  Asha: They were really excited, but they live in Pennsylvania.
• 1:19:12
  Asha: Um, so we were giving them updates and then we sent them pictures afterwards.
• 1:19:16
  Asha: And then his mom and dad asked, they were like, Do you want us there like this weekend or next weekend?
• 1:19:24
  Asha: Um, so Charlie was born on Friday, and they actually started driving up on Friday.
• 1:19:31
  Asha: We said yes, we said please come, and they drove up on Friday and um visit us Saturday and then Sunday for for brief visits, but they were so lovely, and they got to meet Charlie right away and hold him.
• 1:19:47
  Asha: Um, and then they were a little bit less hands-on in the house as far as like helping us because my mom really had it covered, um, and they hadn't been to our space yet.
• 1:19:58
  Asha: They didn't feel like super confident um being hands-on, but they did um buy us a washing machine, I believe.
• 1:20:07
  Asha: Our washing machine had broken, and so we were using um, we were going to the laundry net, and it was not fun to do when I was pregnant, and it was gonna be even worse to do postpartum.
• 1:20:21
  Asha: And so um they went out, they like visited us on Saturday, and then that evening they went out and they looked at a bunch of different stores and they found a washing machine that was like a really good deal, but a really good machine, and they brought it back for us so that Evan could install it.
• 1:20:36
  Asha: And I just I want to point out that there are more than one way to support a postpartum family, and you know, being hands-on and and making food for us was amazing, and I'm so grateful for my mom for that, but it is also equally as port as important to like help financially.
• 1:20:54
  Asha: That is a huge part that um some people maybe see as like not equal or not the same, and it's not the same, but it is.
• 1:21:02
  Asha: I feel so grateful.
• 1:21:03
  Asha: We still use that washing machine.
• 1:21:05
  Asha: I feel so grateful that um they were able to come up and support us emotionally and hold us and hold their baby, our baby, um, and and support us in in the way that they were able to.
• 1:21:18
  Asha: Um, and now we we go and see them every um November for Thanksgiving, and we have something called Bassettness, which is um Christmas, but but after Christmas, because um Nicole, my my mother-in-law, has been very dedicated to making sure that we have family time with her, but that we are also able to honor our own family time.
• 1:21:40
  Asha: So it's always been a goal of hers to have Christmas separate from actual Christmas so that all of her kids can make their own plans.
• 1:21:47
  Asha: Um, but yeah, we love going down to Bassitmus.
• 1:21:50
  Asha: Um, it used to be before Christmas, now it's after Christmas, um, because Charlie was born in November.
• 1:21:57
  Asha: So going down or like seeing them for his birthday and also Thanksgiving and also Bathis all in one month was a little much.
• 1:22:04
  Asha: But um we uh now it's in January usually.
• 1:22:08
  Asha: But right after Charlie was born, we did go to Bathus when I was one month postpartum.
• 1:22:14
  Asha: Um, and we took the train with our little one-month-old baby, and it was so great.
• 1:22:19
  Asha: I think he was actually like six weeks old, but um, it was amazing.
• 1:22:23
  Asha: And we went down with our teeny tiny little guy, and everyone got to see him.
• 1:22:28
  Asha: Um, Evan has a brother and a sister, um, and his brother is now married to his then fiance, um, but they just got married this spring, and so we all got to spend time together, and we're going down again for um Thanksgiving uh around Thanksgiving time, and I'm really excited to see them because now Charlie's like a whole person and walking around and talking and pointing things out.
• 1:22:51
  Asha: I think we're gonna go to the um the national uh the I want to say fish museum, which is not the right thing.
• 1:23:00
  Asha: Uh aquarium, the national aquarium.
• 1:23:04
  Asha: We're gonna go um to the big aquarium in Baltimore um and and fish because he has recently seen Nemo and is obsessed.
• 1:23:13
  Angela: So that is so fun.
• 1:23:16
  Angela: Oh my gosh, what a special thing.
• 1:23:18
  Angela: That's amazing.
• 1:23:19
  Angela: And yeah, like the postpartum support can look so like have so many different forms, just like you said.
• 1:23:26
  Angela: I love that you highlighted that.
• 1:23:27
  Angela: That's that's really so true.
• 1:23:29
  Angela: Yeah, thank you.
• 1:23:31
  Angela: I do have one other question.
• 1:23:33
  Angela: Like, when did you so you said you he was born around eight?
• 1:23:36
  Angela: Like, when did you leave the birth center and like how did like leaving go?
• 1:23:40
  Asha: Yeah, we left the birth center around like 10 or 11 p.m.
• 1:23:46
  Asha: Not home before midnight.
• 1:23:47
  Asha: I joke that I did not turn into pumpkin.
• 1:23:50
  Asha: But yeah, we we didn't stay very long.
• 1:23:54
  Asha: We stayed, they they had like a little checklist that they wanted to talk, like make sure that I my bleeding was controlled, the placenta was delivered, um, Charlie's latch was decent.
• 1:24:06
  Asha: Um, and I think that he had one wet diaper or something, something along those lines.
• 1:24:10
  Asha: There were they had a little checklist, and then um that was pretty much it.
• 1:24:14
  Asha: And then they we put Charlie in his car seat, and um Evan did that, and then we got in the car, and I sat in the back seat with Charlie because I was nervous and I wanted to watch him.
• 1:24:27
  Asha: Um, and then we drove home.
• 1:24:30
  Asha: Um, we got we got McDonald's french fries on the way because I really wanted them.
• 1:24:37
  Asha: And then we we went home and my mom followed us home and she helped us get settled into bed.
• 1:24:43
  Asha: Um, and then the next morning she what did she make first for us?
• 1:24:49
  Asha: I think she made kanji first for us.
• 1:24:51
  Asha: She had a really awesome cookbook.
• 1:24:54
  Asha: Um and I'm sad that I'm forgetting the name of that cookbook too, but it has kanji recipes and it also has a pho recipe.
• 1:25:02
  Asha: And she bought the pho spices from the lady who wrote the book, who also taught the pho recipe at the Common Ground Fair a couple years ago.
• 1:25:11
  Asha: And um, yeah, mom like bought all of the things for it, and so she made us a real yummy chicken kanji, which is the slow-cooked um rice porridge type, and it's got chicken in it, and then you know, you top it with some sesame oil and green onions, and it's super easy to digest, it's very warming, um, and it's full of protein because it's it's like a bone broth and rice and chicken.
• 1:25:37
  Asha: It's awesome.
• 1:25:38
  Asha: Um, and then the pho was also amazing with rice noodles and that broth.
• 1:25:42
  Asha: Oh, she put her heart and soul into that broth.
• 1:25:45
  Asha: It was so good.
• 1:25:46
  Asha: And then the midwives came the next day.
• 1:25:50
  Asha: They came that first day postpartum, and then I think they came like two or three days after that, and then a week after that.
• 1:25:56
  Asha: So a total of three postpartum visits.
• 1:25:58
  Asha: And I think Jenna came for the first one, so she got to meet Charlie because she wasn't at the birth.
• 1:26:04
  Asha: And then I I don't remember who came for the second one, but I do recall that Julie came for the third, and I I have a photo of Julie holding a sleeping Charlie on my couch, which was so sweet.
• 1:26:14
  Asha: Um, and then we see Julie at the Common Ground Fair every year, too.
• 1:26:18
  Asha: She's usually in the spinner's tent, and we get to go say hi.
• 1:26:23
  Asha: Awesome.
• 1:26:24
  Asha: Did you have any tearing?
• 1:26:26
  Asha: I didn't end up tearing.
• 1:26:28
  Asha: I didn't have a uh a tear towards the back.
• 1:26:31
  Asha: I did have some labial shearing where my labias were like whipping a little bit.
• 1:26:38
  Asha: Um, I don't know if they call it subdermally, like not on the first layer of skin, but it it was kind of looked like road rash, they said.
• 1:26:46
  Asha: I didn't really see it.
• 1:26:47
  Asha: Um, it looked like a road rash patch of like four inches around on one of my labia.
• 1:26:53
  Asha: Um, and Julie ended up giving me a really wonderful bright red St.
• 1:26:59
  Asha: John's War oil to pour on it.
• 1:27:02
  Asha: Um, and we did that, and we did um sitz baths with with herbal support in them.
• 1:27:09
  Asha: Um, that was really lovely.
• 1:27:11
  Asha: Oh my god, I love the sits bath.
• 1:27:12
  Asha: That's my other, that's my other postpartum tip for new parents.
• 1:27:16
  Asha: Get a sitz bath.
• 1:27:17
  Asha: It's the little top hat guy that sits in your toilet.
• 1:27:20
  Asha: You put some warm water on it.
• 1:27:22
  Asha: I suggest getting one of the ones that has the little like water pouch that you can hang up like close by.
• 1:27:28
  Asha: Uh we put it on our shower.
• 1:27:29
  Asha: You can fill that with warm, warm water.
• 1:27:32
  Asha: And then um, it has a little tubi that goes into the front of the sits bath thing, and you can like clamp the tube and unclamp it to add more hot water.
• 1:27:41
  Asha: And then when it overflows, it just overflows into the toilet.
• 1:27:44
  Asha: Um, and that was so nice.
• 1:27:46
  Asha: I loved that thing so much.
• 1:27:47
  Asha: Um, and you can pee in it if you need to.
• 1:27:50
  Asha: Oftentimes that feels really good because you're it's like rinsing automatically.
• 1:27:54
  Asha: Um, we also I also had the peri bottle to help with peeing.
• 1:27:59
  Asha: Um Um yeah.
• 1:28:01
  Asha: And that was that was really wonderful.
• 1:28:04
  Asha: The hardest part about postpartum for me was the itching.
• 1:28:09
  Asha: Oh my God.
• 1:28:11
  Asha: No one told me about the itching.
• 1:28:13
  Asha: I want everyone to know right now, it itches really bad.
• 1:28:16
  Asha: When you after you give birth, your your vulva, your labia, it itches and it itches on the inside and it feels and like there's nothing you can do about it.
• 1:28:26
  Asha: It just itches so bad.
• 1:28:29
  Asha: And it would always happen in the middle of the night, it'd be like, I cannot fall asleep because my my vulva itches.
• 1:28:35
  Asha: Why does it itch?
• 1:28:36
  Asha: And it just itches because it's healing, like your skin is just stitching itself back together after being stretched like crazy.
• 1:28:43
  Asha: So it's so normal, but I I didn't know that was the only part about birth that I was unprepared for.
• 1:28:49
  Asha: That I was like, what the heck is this?
• 1:28:52
  Asha: And yeah, oh the itching.
• 1:28:55
  Asha: Oh and I um ended up having a um not hemorrhoids, uh, an anal fissure.
• 1:29:07
  Asha: And we're not sure if the anal fissure happened during birth or if it happened in the in the aftermath of postpartum and just not having enough fiber and having some hard poos.
• 1:29:19
  Asha: Um, but yeah, an anal fissure is a tear inside your anus, and it feels like poop in glass.
• 1:29:27
  Asha: Oh, it hurts so bad.
• 1:29:29
  Asha: It's not itchy.
• 1:29:30
  Asha: Like sometimes hemorrhoids can be itchy.
• 1:29:32
  Asha: Sometimes you see a little blood when you wipe.
• 1:29:35
  Asha: Um, there was a little bit of blood, but there was no external hemorrhoids that we could see.
• 1:29:40
  Asha: And I ended up, it was like painful to the point where I was like gripping myself to try and counteract, like distract from the pain of pooping.
• 1:29:49
  Asha: Um, and I I unfortunately ended up going like six months without getting seen for that because I was like, well, maybe it's just like it'll just fix itself.
• 1:29:57
  Asha: Hemorrhoids, you know, there's not much you can do for them.
• 1:29:59
  Asha: Um, and so I ended up going in to um walk-in care, and they digitally look like felt around and they were like, Yep, you have an anal finisher.
• 1:30:11
  Asha: Um, and the treatment for that basically was a lidocaine ointment to make it to make it hurt less.
• 1:30:18
  Asha: Because the other issue was that when it hurts so much, you you strain more when you're pooping, which makes it worse.
• 1:30:25
  Asha: So um we I did lidocaine treatment, and then there was another ointment that was used that is helpful, but I don't remember the ointment that they gave me.
• 1:30:37
  Asha: Um, but the other option is surgically fixing it.
• 1:30:40
  Asha: Um, and I actually got my ointment uh prescribed to me by a family friend who is a a butts and guts doctor in um uh she works at a at a hospital, she's a laparoscopic surgeon, and so she was like, I don't want you to have to get butt surgery, but that is the next step if this doesn't work.
• 1:31:02
  Asha: So this is the thing that you need to ask for.
• 1:31:04
  Asha: I don't think she prescribed it to me specifically, that she was like, This is what I would prescribe you, go ask for that.
• 1:31:09
  Asha: And so we did, and that worked.
• 1:31:12
  Asha: And I'm all better now, but it took like nine months postpartum for that to be healed, and that was that was really tough.
• 1:31:20
  Angela: Um yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:31:24
  Angela: So tough to be dealing with so close with uh with you know, while still like having a little baby to take care of like trying to keep your mind straight when that can really mess with you and it just like hurts so bad, you know.
• 1:31:36
  Angela: Yes, yes, exactly.
• 1:31:38
  Angela: But yeah, yeah.
• 1:31:41
  Angela: So uh and so are you on your path to becoming a postpartum doula or are you already a postpartum doula?
• 1:31:48
  Angela: Do you want to share a little bit about like yeah, what you're doing?
• 1:31:51
  Angela: Sure, yeah.
• 1:31:52
  Asha: So I am training through BADT, which is birth advocacy doula training.
• 1:31:57
  Asha: It's an online program um with doula's uh trade the trainers um from throughout the United States.
• 1:32:06
  Asha: Um Sabia Wade is the head of the program.
• 1:32:10
  Asha: She's great.
• 1:32:11
  Asha: She's written a book recently that I really want to read, but I forget the name of it right now.
• 1:32:15
  Asha: Um, but it's about birth advocacy and the concept of birth being a place to advocate for people and not not just like passively support people, but actively support people.
• 1:32:28
  Asha: Um, and especially in the United States where women's rights are being threatened so deeply right now, and our rights about our bodies and our choices are being threatened so much right now, like birth advocacy being important and full spectrum being important, supporting the whole person and all of their choices and what they can do for their body.
• 1:32:49
  Asha: So it was really important to me to find a program that had an emphasis on queer and black and indigenous folks in their program.
• 1:32:59
  Asha: Um, a couple of the programs that I talked to, I don't remember the names of them because I actually talked to them like a year ago.
• 1:33:06
  Asha: Um, and then and then had to put that on hold and only recently restarted with um BADT.
• 1:33:12
  Asha: But when I asked about black and queer people in a different program, they were like, it's yeah, like we talk about it.
• 1:33:20
  Asha: And if you have any questions, like you can ask.
• 1:33:22
  Asha: And so it was it was a little bit like brushed off for my taste.
• 1:33:26
  Asha: And so with BADT, it is like the forefront, like black and queer and indigenous people.
• 1:33:32
  Asha: We just uh last week talked about um black and indigenous people and their history in the United States, so that later in the training we can learn how to support those people within the context of what they've been through.
• 1:33:46
  Asha: Because it's when you're supporting a laboring person and a birthing person, like it's it's not just about that moment, but some people have generational trauma and a history of being uh used and abused in terrible ways that you need to be informed of if you're gonna actually support the whole person.
• 1:34:03
  Asha: So I am feeling really at home in this um program.
• 1:34:07
  Asha: It feels exactly where I'm supposed to be.
• 1:34:10
  Asha: Um, Sabia just told us this past week that we are do-less right now.
• 1:34:16
  Asha: Ta-da! Um, and we could support someone.
• 1:34:20
  Asha: So I am excited to support my first clients.
• 1:34:24
  Asha: I have some business cards and some flyers that I'm putting up and um waiting to hear from whoever clicks.
• 1:34:31
  Asha: I have some friends of mine who are queer and starting their parenting journey soon, and I'm so excited to be able to support them through that.
• 1:34:41
  Asha: Um, I don't know if they'll be my first clients because they're still at the very beginning of their journey.
• 1:34:46
  Asha: Um, but yeah, I've heard from a lot of my community, um, people my age and people who are older than me who know me and have known me as since I was a child, of just people being like, this is so right for you.
• 1:34:59
  Asha: Actually, after my first um training, I posted a little, a little uh reel.
• 1:35:05
  Asha: It was my first reel on Instagram ever, and I didn't know you had to change the time on it.
• 1:35:10
  Asha: So I cut myself off.
• 1:35:11
  Asha: I was like super excited to tell, and then it stopped recording, and I was like, oh man, but I promised I was gonna post it.
• 1:35:17
  Asha: I was like, one take, I'm gonna post it.
• 1:35:19
  Asha: So I posted it even though it wasn't perfect, and that's on my Instagram at um petite soleil doula.
• 1:35:25
  Asha: Um and I right after I posted that, a friend of mine who's known me since I was like 10 years old called me and she was like, This is exactly what you're supposed to be doing.
• 1:35:37
  Asha: And I'm so happy that you're doing this.
• 1:35:40
  Asha: Like, wow, this is this is meant to be.
• 1:35:44
  Asha: And I truly feel that.
• 1:35:46
  Asha: I feel like growing up and having birth being such an important and normalized conversation in my house, um, and something that I got to witness as a as a young kiddo.
• 1:35:57
  Asha: Like it just, yeah, it all feels really good.
• 1:36:01
  Asha: So um, petite sole doula comes from um my middle name is Soleil, uh, it is sun or sunshine in French.
• 1:36:11
  Asha: My mom actually wanted to name me Asha Sunshine, and she told her parents that, and they were like, that is a hippie name.
• 1:36:18
  Asha: You can name your kid that is too much of a hippie name.
• 1:36:22
  Asha: And so she like stuck it to the man by calling me Soleil instead, which is the same thing, but it's French, so it sounds a little fittier.
• 1:36:29
  Asha: Um, and so growing up, we had a daydream of having a um a crepery cart, like a mobile crepery food truck.
• 1:36:40
  Asha: Because I love crepes, it's like the thing that I can make the easiest.
• 1:36:43
  Asha: Um, with no recipe, I have it like memorized.
• 1:36:46
  Asha: And we were gonna call the crepe truck petit sole, um, my little sunshine, basically, little sunshine.
• 1:36:53
  Asha: Um, and so I decided to call my dual business petite sole.
• 1:36:58
  Asha: And um, my best friend and my and my partner were both like, aren't you worried that that's gonna like tell people that that you speak French?
• 1:37:07
  Asha: And I was like, no, not really.
• 1:37:09
  Asha: I'm not actually that worried about that.
• 1:37:10
  Asha: Also, I am French.
• 1:37:11
  Asha: I I do have French heritage.
• 1:37:13
  Asha: I just I don't speak fluent French.
• 1:37:15
  Asha: I could work on that.
• 1:37:16
  Asha: Um, yeah, these are my um cards.
• 1:37:20
  Asha: I know that only you'll be able to see them, but I made them myself um with with just watercolor and pens.
• 1:37:30
  Asha: Um, I have a few of them and then I'm making my flyers.
• 1:37:35
  Asha: Um button up.
• 1:37:38
  Asha: I'm gonna be serving um all of Hancock County and then some of Waldo County.
• 1:37:42
  Asha: I don't have a specific restriction on distance.
• 1:37:45
  Asha: I think it'll depend on um the families and how we fit and my caseload at the time and and what would fit into my schedule.
• 1:37:54
  Asha: But yeah, I'm I'm pretty dedicated to this and I'm I'm doing it full time already because um I actually got laid off from my job um at the end of August, right before my birthday.
• 1:38:05
  Asha: But after I had signed up for this doula course, um the doula course started September 1st, and I got laid off like two weeks before that.
• 1:38:13
  Asha: And I was like, oh, that was not really the plan.
• 1:38:17
  Asha: I was planning on taking this course um and then leaving my job.
• 1:38:23
  Asha: Um, and so it happened a little bit backwards and it was a little out of my control, which felt felt you know disorienting at first, but it it definitely did feel like the universe being like, go girl, it is time right now, like we support you.
• 1:38:40
  Asha: And so that uh strangely, even though it was being laid off and it did felt uh it did feel like um disorienting and kind of like the rug was pulled out for me, it was not in my control.
• 1:38:52
  Asha: It also felt really affirming and like this is what I'm supposed to be doing from from the universe.
• 1:39:00
  Asha: And so so yeah, so that's what I'm doing.
• 1:39:04
  Asha: I'm open to taking clients.
• 1:39:05
  Asha: I'll be taking birthing clients and postpartum clients.
• 1:39:09
  Asha: Um, both I um don't have packages laid out yet, so it'll be um, you know, with my first clients, whatever they need.
• 1:39:17
  Asha: And we'll talk about um pricing really flexible, especially since I am um a very new doula.
• 1:39:24
  Asha: I would love to give discounts to my my first clients and do payment plans or um you know work trades.
• 1:39:32
  Asha: I'm happy to be bartering with people.
• 1:39:35
  Asha: Um and uh yeah, that's where we're at right now.
• 1:39:42
  Angela: Yeah, oh, that's amazing.
• 1:39:44
  Angela: And yeah, just listening to your story, it sounds like you are gonna be an amazing, amazing duela.
• 1:39:50
  Angela: And I will link all of your information in the show notes.
• 1:39:54
  Angela: And yeah, thank you so much, Asha, for taking the time to chat with me today and share your story.
• 1:40:00
  Asha: Thank you.
• 1:40:00
  Asha: Thank you so much.
• 1:40:02
  Asha: It has been a great time.
• 1:40:04
  Asha: I had a lot of fun.
• 1:40:05
  Asha: I love talking about my birth story, other people's birth stories.
• 1:40:09
  Asha: I've listened to a lot of your podcast, uh especially when I was pregnant, actually.
• 1:40:14
  Asha: So when I saw the call for more guests, um, I was like, oh my gosh, yes.
• 1:40:19
  Asha: Uh and my midwives too, when they after my birth, they were like, that's a really great birth, Asha.
• 1:40:25
  Asha: You should you should go on my main birth podcast.
• 1:40:27
  Asha: And I was like, I should, but I was, you know, immediately postpartum.
• 1:40:30
  Asha: So I was like, not yet.
• 1:40:32
  Asha: I'm so glad that I uh I got this opportunity.
• 1:40:37
  Asha: It feels like so perfect, especially at this time when I'm also fledging as a doula.
• 1:40:43
  Asha: I just thank you.