Latest / INSPIRE STORY / #0174_ Live From Ukraine — War, Politics, Culture & Unfiltered Stories

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#0174_ Live From Ukraine — War, Politics, Culture & Unfiltered Stories · INSPIRE STORY

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Ukrainian special today.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: We were going to have a great journalist, Mark Gagliotti
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: from London, who writes about Putin and Russia on, but
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: he is briefing the military and cannot make it. So I,
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: with comparatively far less knowledge about said issues, are going
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: to speak for the hour. We were trying to get
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: an expert. We will potentially get him at a later date.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: We've had him on the show before. He wrote a
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: book called The Vory, Russia's Super Mafia. He also wrote
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: a book called What the West Gets Wrong About Putin.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: And he is one of the preeminent journalists that has
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: expertise in that region, that area. We don't have him.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: Couldn't get him. Wanted to get him. Are trying to
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: get him. And hopefully one day we'll get him. before
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: Putin gets them. Um, very sad what's happening in the Ukraine.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: If you're a human being, if the internet has not
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: taken your humanity and it's taken many of your humanity, um,
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: if your personal brand has not eaten you alive and
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: it has for many of you, uh, if your grift
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: knows no bounds, um, no matter what you think about
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: NATO expansion or U.S. imperialism or whatever, the CIA's misdeeds,
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: the deep state, the Chronicles of Narnia, the teacher's union, whatever, whatever,
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: you still have to say, Seeing babies being moved from
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: like an ICU to like a subway tunnel is sad.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: It's a tragedy. It's a human tragedy as all war is, right?
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: It's not something to celebrate. It's not something to say,
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: this is cool. We enjoy this. Fuck around and find out. Look, Putin,
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: look at this. That's not the take if you're a
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: human being. Now, the vast majority of people on this
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: platform are not human. That's the point of the internet.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: It's to make you less human. And it's working very well.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: Kudos to the designers of that. Because what it does
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: is you watch... tragedies all day and you have no
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: you get desensitized to it every day from walmart fights
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: to car crashes to beheadings all day every day it's
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: in your face and you forget that those are people
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: and there are children you know you see these waffle
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: house brawls there's kids sitting there while their parents beat
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: the shit out of them. Sure, it's a goof, and
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: it's fun, but then you go, man, I wonder what
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: the kid's life's going to be like. Probably not great,
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: but again, you can't dissect every Waffle House video and
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: get in the weeds and start worrying about the second generation.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: But you should, at the very least... Look at an
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: invasion of a country by a dictator, which is what
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: Putin is. He's a dictator. You know, he invaded a
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: sovereign country and there's a lot of mayhem and death
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: and carnage that you're going to see. And the Ukrainian
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: people are brave and they're fighting back and they give
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: a shit. You know, unlike people in America who don't
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: care about much. other than themselves and their ability to consume.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: Other countries have deep and complex histories, and they care
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: about more than their ability to go to a Buffalo
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: Wild Wings. We do not. That is not part of
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: our thing here. So it's sad to watch all this
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: shit unfold. And yeah, I mean, just to give everyone
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: a little backstory, the Ukraine... if you're not aware of
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: what's happening, has been invaded by Russia. We'll start there.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: And the goal of that invasion is regime change. Of course, Ukraine,
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: part of the old Soviet Union. NATO, kind of the
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: post-Cold War architecture of how the world is going to
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: run these.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: Trade alliances, military alliances, expanding NATO into the region where
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: Russia is, arming Ukraine, funding Ukraine, potentially admitting them to NATO,
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: the discussion of that, was not a good geopolitical move.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: It kind of put Russia in a box. Russia then
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: reacted in the way that Russia, a lot of people
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: feared that Russia was going to react, which was to
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: then take back the territory that they feel is rightfully theirs.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: And you can have those conversations and talk about those
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: are facts. How much of that led to this decision was, is, uh,
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: we don't know. You don't, you're not there. I'm sure
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: it didn't help, but the idea here, the takeaway is
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: not Putin's cool. That shouldn't be the takeaway. If you
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: are a human being, this is not a cool thing
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: to do. It's a brazen, you know, criminal act where
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: you have somebody going into a country, decapitating the leadership,
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: attempting to, um, bombing people murdering civilians not good when
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: we do it was it right when America's done it
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: not right when we went into Iraq or Afghanistan stayed
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: there for 20 years that misadventure in the Middle East
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: where we were it's not no it's not right when
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: when it's done by anybody but it's not cool I
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: know that a lot of people think it's cool and
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: badass to do, you know, so this is a, people
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: are happy about this. People's lives in this country have
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: gotten to the point where they are happy that this
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: is happening. And they're like, well, it's because the American military,
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: they're too focused on a trans people and being a
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: politically correct. That's why it's at. Is that why it's happening?
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: Do you think Putin really is convinced that the American
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: military is just like some type of, you know, I
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: don't know, extension of the LGBTQ whatever community? Do you
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: think that's what the intel in Russia is telling them?
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: Do you think they're going, I mean, it's a very
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: stupid way to look at things. That because the military
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: is struggling with whatever type of I trans issues that
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: affect this very small percentage of the military. I think
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: they're still focused on the amount of funding it gets,
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: how big it is, its ability, its positioning all over
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: the world. I don't think Putin is invading the Ukraine.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: He's not worried about America because we're talking about trans people.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: That's why he's doing it. No, he's doing it because
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: he has more nuclear warheads than any other country in
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: the world. And what are we going to do? What
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: are we going to do? If we were all Christian
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: theocratic psychopaths who burned gay people at the stake, which
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: is what these people want, you think Putin would be like, oh,
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: fuck it. Hey, I'm not invading Ukraine. I'm not doing
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: it now. Now I'm not doing it. No, they passed
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: a don't say gay bill in Florida. I'm not invading.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: I don't even want Ukraine anymore. My main goal was
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: that Florida teachers had to out kids as gay within
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: six weeks. Now, I'm not due. I don't have any
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: reason to go into Ukraine now. They've just passed a
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: law in America. He convenes everybody. They're all in Moscow.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: He goes, St. Peter's, but we're ever here. Hey, guys,
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: they just passed a law. That biological born males cannot
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: compete in female sports. Do you know what that means? No, Ukraine. No,
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: we're not going to do it. Because now I'm afraid
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: of them. Now I fear them. I know I have
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: all the nukes. But their moral certitude... scares me I'm
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: scared by that that terrifies me see before when they
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: were talking about trans people and letting trans people swim
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: I knew they were weak but when they flipped it
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: when they flipped it and went back to those 19.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: Cause if you remember when we had all those 1950s values,
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: we had no problems with Russia. You remember that? No,
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: we didn't have any. These are all new problems. We
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: never had went back before they were trans people or
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: gay people. There was never any issues with rock ever, ever.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: This is all new. In the 50s and 60s, you know,
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: when everybody was like eating burgers and smoking cigarettes and
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: wearing jeans and they were all at the hop. Everybody
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: was driving 57 Chevys and gay people had to shut
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: up and black people had to shut up and trans
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: people had to shut up. Russia loved us. We were
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: like fucking like this.
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: I mean.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: So this is the result of that. It's the result
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: of that. It's because that guy made a dumb video
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: with Biden, which I think is a dumb video. But
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: that Benito whatever on Instagram made some video with Biden.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: People going, this is why Putin didn't worry about taking
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: the Ukraine. It's like Putin's never worried about taking the Ukraine.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: He's never worried about it. It has nothing to do
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: with our content. Trust me. Putin is not watching our content.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: But again, it's silly. And these are silly times for people.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: And I'm not saying we are going over there and fighting.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: It's not our thing. It's not our war. This is
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: not something where we should be involved. Everybody who's going,
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: no fly zones, he must pay. He must pay.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: What?
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: What? We're not in the position to go and fight
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: Russia over the Ukraine. We have military supremacy if we
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: had to fight them over something that we had a
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: genuine interest in, we could, but we're not fighting them
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: over the Ukraine. That doesn't mean that this is a fun,
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: cool display and that we should all be jazzed about it,
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: but we're not fighting them over the Ukraine. This is
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: a This is a real problem. Do you have any
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: updates on what's going on over there?
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: So they held them off over the night in the capital.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: Pretty impressive what the Ukraine.
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: Really is, yeah, yeah.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: Kind of impressive, to be honest. I'm impressed.
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: The death count is much higher with Russia at 3,500
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: troops killed and 200 captured. And then Ukrainians, it's about
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: 198 dead and thousands injured. But they really held them
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: off overnight.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: So Russia's kind of losing.
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: They're kind of being embarrassed.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: At the moment.
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: At the moment, yeah.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: At the moment.
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: Losing in terms of casualties, of course.
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: Right. Yeah, yeah.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: Interesting.
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: And Zelensky's not leaving. He's refusing to leave. He's still
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: posting videos.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: I'm not going anywhere.
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: But the videos are, it's horrific.
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: It's very tough to watch people who are civilians, innocent,
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: have done nothing, who are living their lives, have to
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: flee a country. You know, I can just imagine the
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: sea of YouTube comments.
• 13:36
  Speaker 4: You don't understand it it's actually.
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: Good to watch that you know but the other side
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: of it is what are we going to do I'm
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: not going over there you're not going over there no
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: one's going over there nobody I know is going over
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: there America's a country of cowards you know as brought
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: it was a fun tweet where it's not all of
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: us are cowards but a lot You know, Ted Cruz,
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: you know, there was a storm in Texas. He like
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: fled to Cancun. There was a tweet, you know. You know,
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: our elected officials, you know, when COVID hits, they start
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: insider trading. I mean, you know, nobody could care less
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: about this country. I mean, Giannis Pappas brought up a
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: great point. He's like, if you said that people in
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: America between 18 and 60 cannot leave the country, they
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: would flee. The vast majority of people would leave and
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: not defend the country. So it is inspiring to see
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: the Ukraine do it.
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and there are refugees, Hungarians taking in people. People
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: are leaving, but the people that want to stay and defend... Well, yeah, there's.
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: Families, there's women and children, and then there's some badass
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: Ukrainian bitches that are staying. You know? But, you know,
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: that are fucking... I wonder, I don't know what the
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: outcome is. It's destabilized the region forever now. For a
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: very long time. Nobody from Ukraine is ever going to
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: forget this. I mean, it's going to be a real problem.
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: And the sane take here, folks, is that this is
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: very sad. And it is not a positive development on
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: the world stage. That's really it. It's not to start
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: screaming about Trump. Or Biden. Or anybody. It's really. To
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: just say hey. We should look at the way. That we.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: Potentially contributed. To a climate. That enabled. Said things to happen.
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: Whether it was. Funding. NATO. Whatever it was. But. There's
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: nothing to do here except be upset and be like,
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: this sucks, right? It's unfortunate that people are dying. Now,
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: people in America are so rotten to our core on
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: both sides of the political aisle. And we have so...
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: Our humanity is almost all gone. It's almost been taken
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: from us. Oh, really, truly. And we have become... demons
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: in this country political affiliation unimportant and what that has
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: made us do is any human tragedy that we see
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: we immediately dig into it and try to like make
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: it someone's fault that we hate And excuse it and
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: not even look at like the human cost and go, see, see. Look, look.
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: It's a psychotic impulse. It is a psychotic impulse. It
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: doesn't mean you can't have a discussion about it, but
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: it is a psychotic impulse. It is an inhuman impulse.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: Impulse for the first thing you do when you see
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: like old women and children being forced out of their
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: homes and fleeing to go. I told you so. There's
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: something wrong with you as a person if that's what
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: you're doing. In the same way that when someone died
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: of COVID that didn't get vaccinated and you were celebrating
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: that to an unhealthy degree, that was also wrong. That's
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: my position on it. Just be a human fucking being
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: if you can. If you can. If you possess the
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: ability to be a human, try for five minutes. Try
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: to be a person, you know, I know, but the
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: brand for a second, just for a second, be a
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: human being. Is it possible in this country of demons,
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: real demons now? I mean, when you look around and
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: see the people. And you listen to the people. We're
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: in hell. We're living in hell here. If this isn't hell,
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: I don't know what could be hell with the way
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: that people just relate to each other now. And I,
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: for one, like, I don't think that the NATO expansion helped.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: I think we made an error in judgment. I think
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: that Putin's not a guy that you're going to be
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: able to push around. I think that U.S. policy has
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: not made this situation any better. I don't think that
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: in and of itself excuses or justifies in a.
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: And I'm not using... Because I know that the real
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: politic way to look at it is obviously it's not
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: the justification for... Anything that anybody does on the world
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: stage is never morality. It's trade. routes and ports and
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: power and I know all of that and I'm not
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: saying that I'm not a child and I'm not saying
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: that I don't understand the rationale behind the decision to
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: invade the Ukraine but when you look at it From
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: the perspective of a human being And not You know
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: the perspective of like Somebody who's trying to like Use
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: this as a springboard To gain more Uh Eyeballs on
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: what they're doing And say just the most contrarian And
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: fucked up shit imaginable And you know Well actually they're
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: right They're right He's right to do that Um when
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: you look at it like that, you go, no, this
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: is a brazen criminal act where somebody is invading a country, uh,
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: unprovoked by that country. Um, and that should be, that
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: should be roundly condemned. People shouldn't, people shouldn't be like, yeah,
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: this is cool. Fuck. Yeah, this shouldn't, this isn't the thing.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: I know it's fun to, To be a shitpost or
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: contrarian or whatever, it's fun. It's edgy. It makes you
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: feel good. I guess it gives you power you don't
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: have in your life to say something online that bothers
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: other people. And I do it a lot. I say
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: all kinds of shit that people are bothered right now.
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: Very much. They're very angry at what I'm saying right now.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: So I'm not saying that that is not something that
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: should be protected. My only point is as a human being,
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: it should give you a little pause when you see
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: the scenes of horror emanating from that country. You should
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: potentially be given a little pause and you should reflect
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: a little bit about the human cost of something like this.
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: Because it's not nothing. It's not nothing when people are
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: being driven out of their homes. You know what I mean?
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: China's stepping in now. They're restricting lending to Russia.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: Well, China's, because China's now running the world. See, America
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: is a joke, but China is now coming in and
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: now China is saying, because China's making money. China doesn't
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: need this shit. China's in the lead and China's going,
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: hey man, we're winning. Why are we doing that? What
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: are we doing that for? You know, like I'm good.
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: You know, it's like China's like, we don't need you
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: going around destabilizing the world. We're killing it. We're like
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: killing it. It's like if you're a big agent and
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: one of your big clients is like in every movie,
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: they are the Hollywood it girl. And then they start
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: posting about Palestine. You go, hey, hey. We're winning now.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: Why are we doing this? There'll be plenty of time
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: to do that. When they throw you out of Hollywood
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: and you get fat and you're doing indies, light up
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: the timeline with your opinions. But right now, cool it.
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: Just go to fucking Cannes and relax. We got a
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: boat for you. Sit on the boat and enjoy. So
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: China's now getting involved to try to.
• 23:35
  Speaker 3: Well, two Chinese state-owned banks will restrict financing for Russian
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: commodity purchases, suggesting there are limits to Beijing's support for
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: Moscow as the Kremlin confronts severe economic sanctions. So offshore
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: units of Industrial and Commercial Bank of China have stopped
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: issuing U.S. dollar-denominated letters of credit for purchases of physical
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: Russian commodities ready for export. While the Bank of China
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: has also limited funding, according to Bloomberg.
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: Well, I'm telling you right now, Um, we got a
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: real problem on our hands.
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: China's biggest banks hold billions of Russian assets. Beijing has
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  Speaker 3: also provided Moscow with tens of billions in funding over
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: the years. So that was pretty recent though. I mean,
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: this will come out later today. We'll see what happens.
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: This is awkward. And I don't like to have to
• 24:24
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• 24:28
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• 24:35
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  Speaker 1: say about that. Freshly It is very hard to find
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  Speaker 1: Tim Dillon, comedy.com for any of the live dates. What
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: is going on with this Long Island housewife? This is
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: a fun story out of Long Island, New York. And
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: it concerns our favorite things, Long Island and real estate
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: and mental illness, our third favorite thing.
• 31:42
  Speaker 3: Can you bring that up, Paul? There's havoc in the
• 31:48
  Speaker 3: Long Island realtor community.
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: I mean, if you think Kiev is bad.
• 31:55
  Speaker 3: This woman's really causing issues here.
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: This is a Long Island woman who is going to
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: open houses in Long Island and refusing to leave and
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: threatening the other buyers. Do I understand that correctly?
• 32:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, because it's a taboo. If you're in an open house,
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: you don't sit on the people's furniture.
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: You're not supposed to sit on the people's furniture. And
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: you're not really supposed to talk.
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: Oh, really?
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: You're not supposed to make pronouncements loudly you're supposed to
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: have quiet conversations and then you know it's good it's
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: good form to go and chat outside if you bring
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: your realtor to the open house you know you go
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: outside and you have a chat you don't walk through
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: and go this kitchen agents sometimes have to pay the
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: bouncer at showings You never know who's going to show
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: up when homes are open to the public, so the
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: professionals have to keep cool and take action. This is funny.
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: There was a line for this showing, a five-bedroom, two-and-a-half
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: bathroom in Three Village, Long Island. I think we had
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: like 32 sets of buyers, each with an agent, easily
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: 100 people. It was in a very desirable neighborhood, a
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: great school district, And the house had lots of potential.
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: This was before COVID. So we didn't have restrictions on
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: how many people could go in at one time. I
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: had my associate Joe working inside the house, trying to
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: keep the flow going. I was outside meeting and greeting
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: and trying to keep up with everything peppy, trying to
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: keep everything peppy. So nobody's annoyed that they have to wait.
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: Then Joe came out and pulled me aside and said,
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: we've got a problem. There's a woman inside who was
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: refusing to leave. She has parked herself on the couch
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: and And it's telling people that this is her house.
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: I went inside to find out what's going on. I
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: can hear somebody with a raised voice downstairs where the
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: main living area is. I go down and here's this
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: woman just sprawling there. One arm up on the back
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: of the couch. She was wearing like a muumuu. She
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: reminded me of my mother. People were asking her, are
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: you the owner? And she was saying... No, but I'm
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: going to be. I like it. I catch her answering
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: a question about a feature of the house. It was
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: a teenage girl who was asking, is this the only
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: bathroom on this floor? I hear this woman say, yes,
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: it is, sweetheart. And it's not enough for you. You're
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: a teenager. You need more bathrooms. You should look somewhere else.
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: I walked up and I said, hi, are you okay?
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: She said, why would you ask me that? I explained
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: that I work for the seller. Normally people don't sit
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: on the owner's furniture during an open house. It's like
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: using the bathroom. You just don't do it. And she says, quote,
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: all these people are wasting their time. And then she yells,
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: because I will outbid you. I said, my job is
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: to make sure everyone has an opportunity to see the house.
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: And I think you might be making some people feel uncomfortable.
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: She says, no, I'm not. And then this guy who
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: was also there for the open house goes, the hell
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: you're not. Why don't you stop flapping your mouth? Long Island. Joe,
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: my associate, stuck his head in the door, and I
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: told him not to let anyone else in. I had
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: to look. I had to stop the open. Can we
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: make this bigger? Is there any way we can make
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: it a little bigger?
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: Could you zoom in, Paul? Thank you.
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: I'm like taking an eye test here to try to read.
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: No one on Gas Digital reads anything. So no one's
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: ever had to bring up anything to read. The funny
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: thing is she never put in an offer. Of course
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: she didn't. She was nuts. I like that. I like
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: the idea of a woman sitting on a couch threatening
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: people and scaring them. The thing about open houses, you
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: can't really stop people from going in and causing a
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: real problem. And that there's something still very democratic about
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: that idea. That anybody can walk into any house that's
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: being sold and start an issue. And there's not much
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: you can do about it at this point. You know?
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: So I'm all for that. I'm all for open house problems.
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: Because realtors, their entire job is to be fake nice.
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: That's their entire job. The most difficult thing about a
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: realtor's job is being fake nice all the time to everyone.
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: And realtors notoriously hate when they have to deviate from
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: that psychopathic personality trait that they have, that they've developed,
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: where they just remain fake nice all throughout all of
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: their daily interactions. And then when they go home, they become,
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: you know, Mr. Hyde again. And then the next day
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: it's Dr. Jekyll. Hello, natural light, indoor, outdoor, bedrooms, bathrooms.
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: Isn't it nice? And realtors have to have, their job
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: is made up only of small talk. You'll never look
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: at a realtor and go, I have cancer. Everything, every
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: interaction you have with a realtor is small talk and
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: fake nice small talk. So what happens to these people
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: is when something interrupts that fake world of pleasantries and
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: niceties and meaningless, inane bullshit, it is the gravest thing
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: offense to them. Like when anybody comes in from outside
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: to start a problem and they realize you're like, I can't,
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: I have to now like show real, because this is
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: upsetting me and I'm angry and I want this to stop,
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: but I'm also this person, this creation that just wants
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: to talk about nonsense with these idiots and And someone's
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: on a couch yelling and I have to be stern
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: and angry and get her out of here. They're just like, fuck,
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: what do I do? I have to be a human being.
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: And they're like, but my entire job is to not
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: be a person is to be a, a creation, you know,
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: a realtor is like, um, you know, when they're good
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: at it, they're a prostitute kind of, you know, like,
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: It's like you're getting the girlfriend experience. You're getting someone
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: you believe cares about you and what you do and
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: your life and family. Oh, the yard, they'll run. Oh,
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: these kids in that yard. But really what they want
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: to do is just make enough money to bail their
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: son out of jail. But they can't tell. you that
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: because like anything else, all of these relationships exist out
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: of necessity. They are things that need to happen and
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: they just should be nice while they happen. So I'm
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: all for like fat women sitting on couches screaming because
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: there's nothing better than seeing a nice person, fake nice,
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: nothing better than seeing like a fake nice person have
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: to like, you can see them almost, they almost have
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: like a seizure. They're like, what, what are you doing?
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: Like they're like losing. They're like, they're like, it's like
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: at the end of Cinderella where they, you know, the
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: carriage becomes the pumpkin. Like they're reverting back to their
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: form and they're like, oh, what are you people? People
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: don't usually sit on the furniture.
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: And then you see them and they just start melting
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: and melting. And, you know, and again, realtors for the
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: most part are not terribly bright. So they're not really
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: good at problem solving. Not the really high end ones.
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: The one I'm using now is phenomenal and she's like
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: a legend. But the vast majority of realtors are incredibly
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: stupid people who are very bad at problem solving, much
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: like agents. The vast majority of agents and managers are
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: are incredibly stupid and incredibly bad at their jobs. These
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: are jobs that you can be very bad at because
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: the vast majority of people at the job are also bad.
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: And it's actually an agreed upon thing that we're all
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: going to be bad at this. We're going to be
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: bad at it together. And that's why everybody can be
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: bad at it because there's almost an unspoken rule, unwritten
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: rule that bad is good. And slightly above bad is great.
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: So if you're a manager in the entertainment business and
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: you're not an abject failure, you're the best it's ever been.
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: You're great. And they will write books about you and
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: make movies about you because the vast majority of people
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: in it are so incapable of performing the menial day-to-day
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: tasks of a job that That to be even slightly
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: better than that is to win the day, like an agent.
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: To be slightly better than the general bad is to
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: be great. And that's kind of like realtors. If you
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: are just slightly better than the vast majority of part-time,
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: divorced housewife... uh, people that are, you know, trying to
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: make a quick buck that have no idea what they're
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: talking about. If you're even slightly better than that, you're in,
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: you become this, you can be really good at it.
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: You know, um, what, what let's check, let's check more, uh,
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: as we, before we get out of here, let's check
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: more about, um, this, uh, war because is it gonna end?
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: When is it gonna end?
• 42:38
  Speaker 3: You know, I was reading Sullivan's article. He was saying
• 42:40
  Speaker 3: they're probably going to occupy as long as they want,
• 42:42
  Speaker 3: of course.
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: Should I sing a Ukrainian folk song? No, I'm very silly.
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: There's not much I can do, but I want to help.
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: Patreon is not allowing people to donate to the Ukraine
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: because there's a rule at Patreon that you can't donate
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: money for people to buy weapons or something.
• 43:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah. I think that thing might have been fake, too.
• 43:10
  Speaker 3: But regardless, they wouldn't allow that, I don't think.
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: Wait, was it fake or not?
• 43:14
  Speaker 3: I believe it was, yeah. Because I don't think you
• 43:16
  Speaker 3: can do that on Patreon. I'm going to double check.
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: But I think it would be a good idea.
• 43:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so this is from... It says, no, you can't
• 43:29
  Speaker 3: use Patreon to buy missiles for Ukraine. Patreon deleted the
• 43:33
  Speaker 3: fund page without a warning in a very difficult time
• 43:35
  Speaker 3: for Ukraine. In deleting the page, Patreon said that the
• 43:37
  Speaker 3: website of the organization says that they use contributions to
• 43:42
  Speaker 3: finance and train military personnel and thus cited its harmful
• 43:44
  Speaker 3: activities policy in banning it.
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: So it was real.
• 43:49
  Speaker 3: I guess it was real, yeah. Yeah, they were trying
• 43:54
  Speaker 3: to buy tanks, missiles.
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: I mean, again, I don't want to I feel like
• 44:06
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  Speaker 1: kick you back a little interest at Credit Bank of Moscow. Again,
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: 29 years of growth in perfect harmony with our clients,
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: Credit Bank of Moscow. Promo code TIM. If you want
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: to open an account, that is MKRB. I'm sorry, it's MKB.RU. MKB.RU,
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: Credit Bank of Moscow. Promo code TIM. I feel conflicted
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: a little bit by doing this. But people have to
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: understand that the show needs a revenue stream. You get it, right?
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: I get it.
• 45:49
  Speaker 3: We're running a business here.
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: I mean, I think Credit Bank of Moscow probably does
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: a fine job.
• 45:57
  Speaker 5: Hmm?
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: Is there a Ukrainian folk song that I can sing?
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: Let's see here. Because I do want to do more
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: than I'm doing, and I feel that I'm severely limited
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: by many factors. I can't really help. I'm limited by
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: many factors. Number one, I live in America. Number two,
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: I don't really care. Like, I do, but I, you know...
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: But I feel like if I were to sing a
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: Ukrainian folk song... on the show you might have people
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: like finally understanding what's really what's really at stake this
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: is kind of a showing of solidarity it's a statement
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: it's not nothing and i think that i will certainly
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: benefit um and i don't mean me i let me
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: take that back but i will benefit from the knowing
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: that I've done enough, you know, because there's a lot
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: of people that right now go, what should I do?
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: Should I donate? Should I, and you should do all
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: of that. But I think, let me sing a folk
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: song on the show.
• 47:18
  Speaker 3: Paul, I just sent you one.
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 47:19
  Speaker 3: So this is a Ukrainian folk song and the translation
• 47:22
  Speaker 3: is long live free Ukraine.
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: Well, that's awkward. Okay.
• 47:30
  Speaker 3: 1.5 million views. So this one must be a popular one.
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, this is going to be so fucking hard. Fuck.
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: This is so.
• 47:42
  Speaker 2: Hard, but.
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: This is not easy. This language is not easy. But
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: I'm going to try. I'm pushing him, so I'm a gigabit.
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: I'm a gigabit.
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: I'm a gigabit. I'm a gigabit. Mech and hacks and
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: shop and bop and hop and peep and bop and
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: bleep and bop.
• 48:35
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: Well, that was very difficult because it's a whole nother language.
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: You get it?
• 48:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: People don't even understand. It's very, it's not like Spanish
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: where you can kind of fake it. This is right.
• 48:56
  Speaker 2: It's a whole other thing.
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: It's a whole other thing here. I'm going to ask
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: a serious question. Do you think that helped? Is there
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: anyone out there that found comfort in that? Because you
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: know the internet. I mean, it's global. There's a very
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: good chance that there are Ukrainians watching this show and
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: that just heard that, that now are doing slightly better
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: than they were. On a serious note, if you are
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: Ukrainian and you are watching this show... I'm fucking sorry
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: about what's going on. That is no reason to cancel
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: the Patreon. If you are a member of the Patreon,
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: it is $ 5 a month and you get four hours
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: of content.
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: A month.
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: And if you're a Rothschild member on the higher tier,
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: you get an extra video episode in addition to that.
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: So I don't want I'm very sorry. I don't want this.
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: I'm not one of these idiots in America cheering this on.
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: I am aghast at this. I truly feel bad for
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: these people that have to leave their country. It is
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: repulsive to me. I'm not a Putin stan. I will
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: tell you this. I don't believe it is a sufficient
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: reason to not continue to pay for the Patreon if
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: you are a Patreon subscriber. If it gets bad enough
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: where I do feel like you're justified in canceling, I'll
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: let you know. But as of right now, I think,
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: should we do a thing where... No, here's an idea.
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: I'm serious about this. Do we do a thing where
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: if someone is from the Ukraine that enjoys and watches
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: our show and there's any way to communicate with them Like,
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: can we give them our info or an email for
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: them to reach out? Is there any way to, like,
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: open a channel of communication with them and have them, like,
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: read an ad for us? Is there any possible way
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: for them to read, like, an advertisement for us?
• 51:40
  Speaker 3: There was a Ukrainian open-miker that DM'd me four days ago.
• 51:44
  Speaker 3: who wanted to come on the show.
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: Why?
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: I mean, why are you... Why is that coming out now?
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: Do you.
• 51:53
  Speaker 3: I mean, I don't even know if he speaks that
• 51:54
  Speaker 3: well of English. I looked up his videos. It's all in.
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: Did he DM you in English?
• 51:58
  Speaker 3: It was very broken, though.
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: I just don't understand why you would bring that up
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: now when that would have been great.
• 52:05
  Speaker 3: We should have had him on.
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: Why would you not bring that to me?
• 52:10
  Speaker 3: I was flying. I forgot.
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: I mean, that would have been great. Hmm. Right? Is
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: he still in the Ukraine?
• 52:16
  Speaker 3: Well, I also don't know. Maybe he's a bad egg.
• 52:20
  Speaker 3: He might be a bad egg over there.
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: Ben, you fucked up here. Stop trying to say he's
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: like some Nazi.
• 52:26
  Speaker 3: I'm not saying he's a Nazi.
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: You're accusing him of being a Nazi. You're slandering him
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: because you didn't bring him to me and say he
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: should be on the show. Where is he now?
• 52:36
  Speaker 3: Let me check my DMs. See what he's up to.
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: Get him right now. If you want a recording of
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: the folk song that I sang, we will be selling it.
• 52:49
  Speaker 1: Unless you can prove you are in the Ukraine right now.
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: If you can prove that, we will give it to
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: you for half off. If you can prove that you
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: are in the Ukraine right now during the war, the
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: folk song I sang will be given to you half off.
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: We got to reach out to these people, Ben. This
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: is absurd that you didn't bring this to my attention.
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: Ben really doesn't do his job. This is very interesting.
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: Ben really doesn't do his job. And it's now becoming
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: more and more apparent to everybody that Ben has been,
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: you know, really coasting here. He coasts. And all he
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: does is complain that he has to travel and him
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: and his wife can't get drunk. All they want to
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: do is get drunk and go, Follow Colin Morikawa around.
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: He's probably dead, Ben. He wanted to come on the
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: show as the last thing he could fucking do. to
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: just tell everybody what was up. I'm sure he had
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: a lot of nice things to say about me and
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: my comedy and how it's impacted him before he was
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: killed by Russia. And you ruined that. You ruined the
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: chance for this man as his last earthly act to
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: come on the show and tell me that I was
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: a great influence on him and to keep doing what
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: I'm doing right before this man dropped dead.
• 54:24
  Speaker 3: Well, at the time, also, I thought we were having
• 54:26
  Speaker 3: a mark on, so I just totally forgot about it.
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: We always need a backup.
• 54:30
  Speaker 3: That's true. Should have kept him on standby.
• 54:32
  Speaker 1: And you don't even have his message.
• 54:34
  Speaker 3: I'm looking for it.
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: It's amazing to me the lack of prep, the lack
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: of respect that this guy has for this show. Every week,
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: he does less. Can you imagine?
• 54:49
  Speaker 3: All my DMs are people threatening to kill me. I'm
• 54:50
  Speaker 3: trying to find it.
• 54:51
  Speaker 1: And there should be more. I mean, the guy gets
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: a message. I found him.
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: Here he is. Okay.
• 55:01
  Speaker 3: Here he is right there.
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: Call him. Hi, Ben. I am from Ukraine, comedian. Have
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: five subs on Twitter. Also, if you need any info,
• 55:13
  Speaker 1: I can connect you with competent people for Tim Dillon's
• 55:16
  Speaker 1: show about war. We're calling him right now.
• 55:32
  Speaker 2: He's dead.
• 55:44
  Speaker 3: It's 830 there.
• 55:45
  Speaker 2: He should be awake.
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: He's dead. You killed him. I feel terrible about you
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: killing this person. I'm watching his story right now. Dude,
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: this is like fucked. Hopefully this dude's okay. If not,
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: we know who we have to blame. Ben Avery. His
• 56:23
  Speaker 1: name is Vladislav or something. I'm following him back. I'm
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: messaging him. Hey, man, reach back out when you can.
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: Hope you're okay. This is Tim. Well, there you have it.
• 56:44
  Speaker 1: Ben Avery, a guy wants to come on the show.
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: I mean, do you feel a little ashamed?
• 56:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I should have had him as backup.
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: Well, that's not even for the show. It's like this
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: guy wants to get out information from a war zone
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: on a major podcast platform, and you ignore him. Well,
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's a little absurd. Is it? No, it is.
• 57:05
  Speaker 3: I mean, it's a pretty big fuck up. But you're...
• 57:07
  Speaker 3: People are going to have your head for this. You're
• 57:09
  Speaker 3: a large media figure. You could be feeding us misinformation.
• 57:12
  Speaker 3: You could be.
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: Ben, now what you're doing is you're trying to justify
• 57:15
  Speaker 1: the fact that you did not even bring this to
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: me as an option here. You're trying to keep me
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: from misinformation? I mean, what's going on here? This is insane.
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: Is that your act now? You're trying to protect me
• 57:33
  Speaker 1: from misinformation?
• 57:34
  Speaker 3: You said I'm supposed to protect the show.
• 57:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: You're supposed to protect the show by not letting us
• 57:41
  Speaker 1: make bad decisions or not letting episodes come out late
• 57:47
  Speaker 1: or something. But what you're supposed to do is when
• 57:49
  Speaker 1: somebody reaches out from a volatile, active war zone and
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: wants to come on this show and tell me that
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: I'm a genius before they're killed... And you don't... I'm
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: incensed at you right now. I truly cannot believe you
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: did this. This was this guy's dying wish to tell
• 58:16
  Speaker 1: me that I was the greatest comedian that he's ever
• 58:19
  Speaker 1: seen before he was killed in an invasion and you
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: ignore him? You didn't even respond back to him, dude.
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: I mean, do you want to apologize to him?
• 58:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'll say his ad. I'll apologize.
• 58:35
  Speaker 1: No, don't say his ad. Okay, okay. We want to
• 58:38
  Speaker 1: keep it private.
• 58:39
  Speaker 3: Vladislav, I'm very sorry for what I did. I should
• 58:42
  Speaker 3: have reached back to you and kept you on standby because.
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: Vladislav, I wish Ben was killed by the Russians and
• 58:48
  Speaker 1: not you. I hate Ben. Another fuck up. From Ben Avery, everybody.
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: That's what this show can count on. A guy from
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: an active war zone wants to update us. And by
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: the way, we're kidding here. Hopefully he's okay. Hopefully, yeah, yeah.
• 59:07
  Speaker 1: We hope he's okay. We hope the guy's okay. I mean,
• 59:10
  Speaker 1: I hope open micers aren't being drafted. I mean, you
• 59:14
  Speaker 1: really want to lose. But hopefully he'll be okay. But
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: this is fucked. It's fucked. It's sad. It's tragic.
• 59:24
  Speaker 3: Tragic.
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: And you are tragic for not allowing this person to
• 59:29
  Speaker 1: come on this show. So, I mean, again, if, if
• 59:41
  Speaker 1: you like, if you like, um, people being killed in
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: the Ukraine, Ben Avery is your boy at Ben Avery
• 59:53
  Speaker 1: is good. If you are a Ukrainian that doesn't like
• 59:56
  Speaker 1: this war, maybe go give him a piece of your
• 59:58
  Speaker 1: mind at Ben Avery is good. If you are a
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 1: Ukrainian who is against the war, perhaps at Ben Avery
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 1: is good. Should hear from you. I don't know. I'm
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 1: just saying perhaps you should hear from you. That's all
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: I'm saying. I think you have to take some responsibility
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 1: for your actions in these situations. People are in deep
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: trouble and they're trying to reach out. You know? And
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 1: hopefully this will be balanced out by the fact that
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 1: I sang that folk song. And it's... I don't know.
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: It's going to be tough to balance the scales here,
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 1: but I think I did a pretty phenomenal job for
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: having never spoke Ukrainian before. Only a few more shows
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 1: left on this hellish tour. At the end, we're taping
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 1: a special in Denver. What do we got left here?
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 1: God help us and save us.
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 3: So tonight, you'll be in Albany when this comes out.
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 1: Who cares?
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 3: Concord, New Hampshire tomorrow.
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 1: Sold out.
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 3: Brea Improv.
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 1: Buy tickets for Brea, folks. It's in Anaheim. It's a dump.
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's in Brea. It's March 11th, 12th, 13th.
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 1: Come on in.
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 3: Toronto, March 16th.
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: That's right. Get tickets to that. A lot of them
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 1: have sold out, but get some.
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 3: Baltimore on the 18th. Philadelphia.
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 2: Get tickets.
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 1: There's a shitload of tickets available to Baltimore. Philly's got
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 1: a few left.
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, the Parks Casino, March 19th in Philly. Nashville, March 24th. Nashville,
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 3: the Ryman.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 1: Going to be a great show. Tickets still available.
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 3: Grab them. Denver, March 26th. Two shows.
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: Two shows. Denver, March 26th.
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 3: Tapings.
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: Taping of the special.
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 3: Then you go to Glasgow on March 30th.
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 1: Glasgow, get tickets. Dublin, get tickets. London, get tickets.
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 3: And then that's it.
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 1: First week of April. Then that's the end of the show, folks.
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 1: And then maybe, we don't know if we're going to
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: do this, maybe in April we do Dallas and Houston.
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 3: Oh, nice.
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 1: And Cleveland. Maybe three or four more. We don't know.
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 1: Before the special comes out, timnillacomedy.com for all tickets. Any
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 1: lasting apologies to the people of Ukraine for what you've
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 1: done to them?
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know if.
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 1: No, we're being deadly serious. I'm being deadly serious.
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 3: I stand with Ukrainian people. It's a tragedy what's going on.
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 3: I feel sorry for this guy. I could come up
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 3: with a million excuses, but there's no excuse. I did fail.
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 3: I failed miserably here with this guy. I'm not going
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 3: to go into any excuses. I have plenty. Some are
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 3: somewhat justified, but Vladislav, if you're listening, I'm very sorry.
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 3: Reach out to me. I'll try to do something for you.
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 3: I don't know what that is, but I'll try to
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 3: help you out in any way I can. Vladislav.
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 1: Nyet.
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 2: What's nyet? No. No.
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 5: This is Tim Dillon.
• 1:03:21
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  Speaker 3: I think Vladislav is calling me.
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 1: Get him on.
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 2: Here, here.
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 1: Hello, Vladislav.
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 3: Stay rolling on this, Paul.
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, hello.
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 1: How are you? This is Tim Dillon. I'm a comedian
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 1: from America.
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, hello.
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 1: How are you?
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 2: I am fine.
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 1: Let me ask you, is there a way that we
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 1: can talk to you on Skype or something? Talk to
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 1: him for a minute, Ben. All right, we are here
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 1: with Vladislav, who is a Ukrainian comedian dude. Thank you
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 1: so much for taking the time to talk with us.
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 1: How are you doing over there?
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 2: I'm doing fine currently. I am at the shelter in Kyiv.
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 2: And I am trying to find my way to get guns,
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 2: get vests, get helmets and share them with my friends,
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 2: with my family. So everyone is armed because in Kyiv now,
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 2: if you are not like an armed samurai, you're a
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 2: fucking no one.
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 2: You're nobody.
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 1: Now, how have... how quickly this seemed to happen very
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 1: quickly where you guys declared martial law and you, you
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 1: told me that you guys are trying to raise money
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 1: and trying to find weapons and trying to just basically
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 1: help the troops as best that you can.
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 2: Yes, we are trying to help the troops as best
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 2: as we can. I, uh, had my, uh, uh, I
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 2: have my own channel and we just, uh, live streaming
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 2: for 15 minutes, 12, 20 minutes ago, before we talk,
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 2: and we raised a crazy amount of money, and we
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 2: will buy like crazy gun equipment, and this is very good,
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 2: because we need equipment for snipers, and snipers are very
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 2: cool in city combat, because we are now leading two
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 2: city combat fights, because most of the In the two
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 2: days that we have our combat, we fought on the border,
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 2: we fought on the rivers, and now we need to
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 2: arm up even more.
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 1: Now, were you guys surprised that this happened or were
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 1: you guys expecting it? Because a lot of people were
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 1: thinking that Putin was bluffing. Did you guys think he
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 1: was bluffing or did you guys think this was going
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 1: to go down?
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 2: We were ready for any scenarios that could happen, but
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 2: Ukrainians were always ready for Putin to invade because Russia
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 2: had invaded Ukraine many, many, many times. We had a
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 2: Holodomor in 1933, and it was insane. Everybody was saying, like,
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 2: Not everybody, but a lot of Russian propaganda is like,
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 2: we are brothers and that's all. But as it's not
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 2: like that, even a little bit, we were pretty much
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 2: always concerned about military invasion but you you can't prepare
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 2: yourself for for a military invasion because.
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 1: Right it's hard how is the feeling about russia obviously
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 1: now it's not good but before this A lot of
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 1: people in Russia have family in Ukraine. There's certainly a
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 1: lot of connections between the two countries, right? I mean,
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 1: what was the feeling about Russia pre-invasion? Do you have
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 1: family in Russia? Do you have friends in Russia? Because
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 1: I know many people in Russia have family in Ukraine.
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 1: Is that the situation or is that not the case?
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 2: Families can't hate each other, if you know. Oh, I know.
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 1: Oh, I know. Oh, I know very well that they can.
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 2: We also hate our own families in Ukraine. And if
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 2: our family are in Russia, we hate them even more. And....
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 1: I agree. I hate my own family in Long Island
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 1: and they're, they're very close to me. Um, what do
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 1: you think the outcome Putin wants? You think he wants
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 1: a regime change? He wants to put in a puppet
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 1: government that, that will basically carry out his will. That
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 1: seems to be what he wants.
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 2: He is crazy. He wanted to do a fast blitzkrieg,
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 2: but it's like he has, uh, no connection with the
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 2: world because we have uh not uh much but we
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 2: have uh cool cool toys we have and lows we
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 2: have stingers and he is just crazy he is just
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 2: oh i have a helicopter with uh uh like uh
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 2: flying descent i don't know how they called like marines
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 2: marines and i will uh land uh that helicopter and
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 2: helicopter just flies. And we just like, there's no helicopter.
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 1: And he thought like, yeah, 20.
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 2: More times is that he's like, Oh, I will send
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 2: them my, uh, tanks. Tanks are going and tanks are
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 2: burning up. All the tanks are burning up.
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 1: Right now. He thought the military was going to fold
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 1: quicker than it did, but you guys have been showing
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 1: that it's not going to be easy. You are not
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 1: making it easy.
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Because, uh, if we lose, then it's going to
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 2: be worse for a long and long time. And if
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 2: you win, it's going to be, uh, it's going to
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 2: be the end of Russia and end of Putin because
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 2: he has no real, uh, way how, how he will
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 2: gonna end this fight for him to be like the winning,
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 2: the winning point. He has, he, he lost all the, uh,
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 2: the support from the world even in we had like
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 2: pro-russia europe countries like uh hungary and like germany and
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 2: even they are promoting ban ban russia from.
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 1: Swift now yeah now so let me ask you a
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 1: question you're a comedian in the uk yeah i mean
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 1: i'm sorry in uh in uh the ukraine and Now,
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 1: you're a political comedian, so you do jokes about politics
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 1: and stuff.
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 2: Also.
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, of course. Also. Not only, but sometimes. How is
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 1: that there? What is the comedy scene like in the
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 1: Ukraine for a guy like you to do comedy? What
• 1:12:54
  Speaker 1: has that been like?
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 2: Comedy scenes have been changed in the past two years.
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 2: very significantly significantly because uh our stand-up was born like
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 2: maybe in 2012 and also there are russian stand-up and
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 2: russian stand-up is like a cargo cult of an american
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 2: stand-up it's just like stupid it's just stupid and uh
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 2: also they can't say they don't They don't have like feelings,
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 2: they're just jokes. They have good comedians, but it's like,
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 2: we can relate to that, we can feel about that.
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 2: We don't have nothing. And we are in Ukraine, have
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 2: a lot of Ukrainian speaking comedians, and we have a
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 2: lot of Russian speaking comedians. And there are a tendency
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 2: for the past two years that Russian-speaking comedians are turning
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 2: themselves into Ukrainian-speaking comedians because everyone in Ukraine knows Ukrainian.
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 2: Just because of Russian occupation, a lot of Ukrainians also
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 2: know Russian.
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 2: It's like stupidly cool between... Was stupidly cool between some
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 2: Ukrainian comedians to just like... hell away to Moscow. Moscow
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 2: is like Los Angeles for a stupid Ukrainian comedian. And
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 2: then we figured out that Los Angeles for a smart
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 2: comedian who likes money is Ukraine and Kyiv. When we
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 2: started doing stand-up in Ukraine, we saw that people really
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 2: like us, that people don't hate us, and you can
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 2: shit on Ukrainians, and you can shit on Russians, and
• 1:14:51
  Speaker 2: you can shit on Americans, and you can shit on everything.
• 1:14:54
  Speaker 2: People relate to that. People have fun with it. People
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 2: will donate you money. People will love you. We have
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 2: also a slightly similar strategy as you in Ukraine. We
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 2: have Patreon, we have YouTube channels, we have Instagram, we
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 2: have Twitter, and people use it. People use it because
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 2: it's Ukrainian. If we will be Russian-speaking Ukrainians, people will
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 2: think that we are leading our way to Moscow.
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 1: Can we plug your social media on our show? Can
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 1: we get you more followers? Is that a good idea
• 1:15:35
  Speaker 1: right now, or do you want to keep more of
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 1: a low profile?
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a good idea. I post sometimes my naked pictures.
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 2: It's not true. That's interesting. If you want, I can
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 2: message you dead Russians.
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 1: Dead Russians?
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 1: Oh, okay. Well, and also naked picture. We'll take both.
• 1:16:07
  Speaker 1: We'll take naked pictures and dead Russians if you'd like.
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 1: And we will, uh, we'll put them on our, uh, Patreon.
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 1: But now are you go, are you leave? You're not late.
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 1: Nobody's leaving. Nobody's fleeing. You're staying there.
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 2: No. Also there are powers. There are women's Iraq kids.
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 1: They got to go.
• 1:16:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Uh, Yeah, they got to go. Why not? Everybody has...
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 2: How do you.
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 1: Feel about the president, Zelensky? He seems to be doing
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 1: a good job.
• 1:16:38
  Speaker 2: Man, at first, we thought that the country went crazy.
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 2: They elected the low-grade comedian, but very popular. Think that, like,
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 2: you will elect... I don't know who's bad. Like, you
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 2: will elect the guy that... stole jokes.
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 7: Uh carlos messia carlos messia but no zelensky did not
• 1:17:06
  Speaker 7: steal jokes he was fun actor he was uh very
• 1:17:09
  Speaker 7: talented he was like very cool but uh comedy was
• 1:17:13
  Speaker 7: about like uh like my aunt and not uh like
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 7: he was it was uh more uh for the people
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 7: right it was like.
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 2: For sure but But you can't blame him for that
• 1:17:25
  Speaker 2: because there was pretty much no other company.
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 8: Right.
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 2: In Ukraine. Yeah. And we, as stand-up comedians, we thought
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 2: that this guy is crazy and we saw the country
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 2: went insane. They just like stupid jokes. And now he's fucking,
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 2: I don't know, he's standing, Biden, Biden, say, hey, would
• 1:17:52
  Speaker 2: you like to come to us? We can get you
• 1:17:55
  Speaker 2: out of the country. And he's like, no, I will
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 2: fucking die here.
• 1:17:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that, by the way, I respect the hell out
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 1: of that. And I'm trying to think of an American
• 1:18:06
  Speaker 1: equivalent to that. There ain't. Our people would be on
• 1:18:09
  Speaker 1: a plane. They would be on a jet real quickly.
• 1:18:16
  Speaker 1: I really hope that you guys stay....
• 1:18:21
  Speaker 2: Also, I want to say that Zelensky fucked zero child.
• 1:18:27
  Speaker 1: Yes. Well, that's good. That's very positive. And we appreciate that.
• 1:18:33
  Speaker 1: That's very positive. That also may be why your country
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 1: is being invaded. It is a catch-22, you know? One
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 1: of those, you know, unfortunately. Who are your favorite comedians
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 1: in the Ukraine from America?
• 1:18:46
  Speaker 2: My favorite comedians in Ukraine was America. Okay, so you
• 1:18:49
  Speaker 2: should check channel Sraka Dupa. It's our channel. It's only
• 1:18:54
  Speaker 2: in Ukrainian, but it's fine. You also should check Yegor Shataylo.
• 1:19:00
  Speaker 2: He has his own special on YegorShataylo.com. You should check
• 1:19:06
  Speaker 2: Andrei Shehel. You should check... I don't know who.
• 1:19:12
  Speaker 1: Plug all those people on your social media because we're
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 1: never going to be able to spell those names. Do
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 1: you guys like American comedy?
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, of course. We like a lot of American comedy.
• 1:19:25
  Speaker 2: I watch your shows. I watch a lot of stupid
• 1:19:29
  Speaker 2: American shit. I sometimes hate something. We have two cultures.
• 1:19:34
  Speaker 2: We have Ukrainian culture. We have American culture. Sometimes we
• 1:19:39
  Speaker 2: force ourselves to not watch Russian culture because it's stupid.
• 1:19:45
  Speaker 2: You just watch one Russian comedian and also the next
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 2: video suggests you a war movie. And you're like, fuck it.
• 1:19:54
  Speaker 2: Half of the Russian YouTube is war movies about how
• 1:19:59
  Speaker 2: it was in 1944.
• 1:20:04
  Speaker 1: What is the plan now? The plan is just to
• 1:20:07
  Speaker 1: hold off Russian forces as much as you can and basically, obviously,
• 1:20:13
  Speaker 1: keep raising money and hopefully, with enough pressure on Putin
• 1:20:19
  Speaker 1: and countries like China now coming out and a lot
• 1:20:23
  Speaker 1: of sanctions happening, that eventually he'll give this up.
• 1:20:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we will push the things. We will push the
• 1:20:33
  Speaker 2: things as long as we are winning, because for now
• 1:20:38
  Speaker 2: we are winning. We were very happy with the Ukrainian
• 1:20:44
  Speaker 2: people raising Patreon for the Save Life in the UAE.
• 1:20:50
  Speaker 2: It was the number one Patreon in the world.
• 1:20:53
  Speaker 8: They gathered 450,000 people I don't like that because we're
• 1:20:59
  Speaker 8: like the number two show on Patreon and I gotta
• 1:21:03
  Speaker 8: be honest with you I worked a lot harder than
• 1:21:05
  Speaker 8: these Ukrainians raising the money we've got a lot more
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 8: content they don't have any content on that Patreon so
• 1:21:11
  Speaker 8: to me that's a little ridiculous but I do respect
• 1:21:13
  Speaker 8: that tell.
• 1:21:15
  Speaker 1: Us where to follow you and where to donate. Cause I,
• 1:21:18
  Speaker 1: we want to donate money and I want to have
• 1:21:20
  Speaker 1: all my fans that can and want to donate money.
• 1:21:24
  Speaker 1: How do we follow you?
• 1:21:25
  Speaker 2: Okay. Uh, you, uh, can donate money, uh, at save life. Uh,
• 1:21:34
  Speaker 2: one word, save life.in.ua. It's a very good organization. They, uh,
• 1:21:41
  Speaker 2: Very nice. They have a lot of PayPal. They have everything.
• 1:21:44
  Speaker 2: They have Bitcoin.
• 1:21:45
  Speaker 1: Yes, we'll put that in the description of the episode.
• 1:21:50
  Speaker 2: Yes. Also, we have a national Ukraine bank, which is
• 1:21:57
  Speaker 2: a national Ukraine bank. It has an IBAN, long IBAN,
• 1:22:02
  Speaker 2: and you can donate to that. Also, I can email
• 1:22:06
  Speaker 2: you my card number and card number for small groups.
• 1:22:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I will personally donate $ 5, 000 to you if you
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 1: give me a way to do that. If you give
• 1:22:18
  Speaker 1: me a way to do that.
• 1:22:22
  Speaker 2: We will figure it out.
• 1:22:23
  Speaker 1: We'll figure it out. I will absolutely personally donate that, uh,
• 1:22:28
  Speaker 1: to you. Uh, and it's, it's not a lot of money,
• 1:22:31
  Speaker 1: but it's enough money where hopefully that can help a
• 1:22:34
  Speaker 1: little bit.
• 1:22:36
  Speaker 2: Okay. We will send you a folder, uh, afterwards.
• 1:22:39
  Speaker 1: What'd you say?
• 1:22:41
  Speaker 2: Oh, you're going to send you folders. Yeah. No.
• 1:22:43
  Speaker 1: And videos for 5,000, you have to do videos as well.
• 1:22:46
  Speaker 1: But the, no, I want to, I want to help you. Yeah.
• 1:22:49
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's five grand, but I want to help
• 1:22:51
  Speaker 1: you as much as I can. You know, you guys,
• 1:22:55
  Speaker 1: it's inspiring shit to see your comedian. If someone invaded
• 1:23:01
  Speaker 1: America to kill all of us, the comedians would be
• 1:23:06
  Speaker 1: helping them. So it's nice that you guys are fighting
• 1:23:11
  Speaker 1: for your own country, standing up. Where can we find
• 1:23:16
  Speaker 1: you on social media?
• 1:23:18
  Speaker 2: You can find me at Instagram.com. Okay.
• 1:23:25
  Speaker 1: We're going to put that in the link of description too.
• 1:23:27
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's amazing. You don't fit the look.
• 1:23:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. You can also find me on Twitter, Vlad Kapitsa,
• 1:23:34
  Speaker 2: because Twitter is popular between Ukrainian politics and Ukrainian action.
• 1:23:41
  Speaker 2: And it's popular.
• 1:23:45
  Speaker 5: Worldwide.
• 1:23:46
  Speaker 2: So that's pretty much how I found you and found
• 1:23:51
  Speaker 2: a lot of people. Yes. And we are....
• 1:23:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's very interesting. You look like you're from California.
• 1:23:57
  Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know what Ukrainians look like, but
• 1:24:00
  Speaker 1: you look like you should be on the show Euphoria.
• 1:24:02
  Speaker 1: This was not what we were expecting at all. I mean,
• 1:24:06
  Speaker 1: you look like you're like a TikToker who lives in Hollywood.
• 1:24:10
  Speaker 1: we are really sorry that this shit's going down and
• 1:24:13
  Speaker 1: we're really going to try to help as much as
• 1:24:15
  Speaker 1: we can in terms of donating money, telling our people
• 1:24:18
  Speaker 1: to donate money. And listen, hopefully this shit ends and
• 1:24:23
  Speaker 1: you come to America. We'll, we'll get you on some shows.
• 1:24:27
  Speaker 2: Yes, it will be pretty much fun. And I think that, uh, when, uh,
• 1:24:32
  Speaker 2: this shit will end, you will come to Ukraine and
• 1:24:35
  Speaker 2: do some shows because people are buying tickets to Louis CK.
• 1:24:42
  Speaker 1: Yes, no, I would love.
• 1:24:45
  Speaker 4: I will find a way to promote you because we
• 1:24:49
  Speaker 4: have also a promotion going on, I think, and it
• 1:24:54
  Speaker 4: will be cool.
• 1:24:55
  Speaker 2: And it is having fun and watching cool content and
• 1:25:02
  Speaker 2: getting inspired. And it's one of the reasons to have
• 1:25:13
  Speaker 2: a gun in your hands.
• 1:25:16
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes. I believe that's 100% true. It's something to
• 1:25:21
  Speaker 1: fight for. It's something to fight for.
• 1:25:23
  Speaker 2: And we don't like it. Right.
• 1:25:28
  Speaker 1: No, it's something to fight for. That is literally what
• 1:25:30
  Speaker 1: you fight for, your quality of life and to have
• 1:25:33
  Speaker 1: a free country and have freedom, you know? And dude,
• 1:25:36
  Speaker 1: I would be very, very excited to perform in the
• 1:25:39
  Speaker 1: Ukraine unless Russia pays me more. No, I'm kidding. Dude,
• 1:25:48
  Speaker 1: I want to thank you. We did this whole bit
• 1:25:51
  Speaker 1: about you because you sent Ben a message and Ben
• 1:25:54
  Speaker 1: didn't answer it. And I screamed at him on the
• 1:25:56
  Speaker 1: show and we were like, this guy's probably dead. And
• 1:26:00
  Speaker 1: I can't believe you didn't answer his message. And it's
• 1:26:03
  Speaker 1: a whole bit. And we're so happy that you're okay.
• 1:26:07
  Speaker 1: Your friends are okay. And I'm hoping that everybody makes
• 1:26:11
  Speaker 1: it out of this. And, you know, we could all...
• 1:26:15
  Speaker 1: Fucking look back at this and like, you know, I'm
• 1:26:18
  Speaker 1: hoping that's the case, you know, and like, you know,
• 1:26:21
  Speaker 1: any support. Yeah.
• 1:26:23
  Speaker 2: In case if I die, I will text a list
• 1:26:28
  Speaker 2: of secondhand comedians.
• 1:26:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, please. We really appreciate that. No, we really appreciate that.
• 1:26:37
  Speaker 1: I think you'll be fine. Stay safe. You know, obviously
• 1:26:41
  Speaker 1: do what you guys got to do over there. And
• 1:26:45
  Speaker 1: we really appreciate you taking the time because we know
• 1:26:48
  Speaker 1: it's not fucking easy. We're going to put together all
• 1:26:52
  Speaker 1: of those links in our episode. We're going to put
• 1:26:55
  Speaker 1: them on our Instagram. We're going to put them on
• 1:26:57
  Speaker 1: our Twitter for people to donate and help you out
• 1:27:01
  Speaker 1: if they can. And keep in contact with us, man.
• 1:27:05
  Speaker 1: Keep letting us know what's going on and ways that
• 1:27:08
  Speaker 1: we can help.
• 1:27:10
  Speaker 5: Okay.
• 1:27:11
  Speaker 2: Also, I wanted to say Slava Ukraini. It's like glory
• 1:27:14
  Speaker 2: to America. And the response is Heroim Slava. Can you
• 1:27:20
  Speaker 2: say that? Heroim Slava?
• 1:27:22
  Speaker 1: What is it?
• 1:27:24
  Speaker 2: Heroim Slava.
• 1:27:25
  Speaker 1: Heroim Slava. What does that mean?
• 1:27:29
  Speaker 2: That means glory for the heroes.
• 1:27:33
  Speaker 1: Yes. Glory for the heroes. And I think Putin really
• 1:27:38
  Speaker 1: went in there thinking it was going to be an
• 1:27:39
  Speaker 1: overnight thing. He thought it was going to be a
• 1:27:41
  Speaker 1: lot easier than it's been. You guys have shown him
• 1:27:44
  Speaker 1: that it's not going to be that easy. You're fighting
• 1:27:46
  Speaker 1: for your home, your culture, your, your religion, your heritage,
• 1:27:49
  Speaker 1: whatever you're fighting for the freedom to live. And it's
• 1:27:53
  Speaker 1: an inspiring thing. And there's, there's, there's people in my
• 1:27:57
  Speaker 1: country that don't respect it because they're mentally ill. We
• 1:27:59
  Speaker 1: have many mentally ill people here, but people that are
• 1:28:03
  Speaker 1: human beings, the few of us that are still left
• 1:28:05
  Speaker 1: are watching it, looking at it going, it's fucking inspiring. And, um,
• 1:28:11
  Speaker 1: I really appreciate this. Now, I mean, the awkward thing
• 1:28:15
  Speaker 1: is he's not in Ukraine. He's not even Ukrainian. This
• 1:28:18
  Speaker 1: is a guy we hired who's in L.A. He's too
• 1:28:21
  Speaker 1: good looking. He's behind a soundstage. I mean, this is
• 1:28:24
  Speaker 1: a green screen, but I still think it still feels good, right?
• 1:28:27
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
• 1:28:28
  Speaker 1: It still helps. I think this still matters. Yeah.
• 1:28:33
  Speaker 2: I can show you uh bottles of ukrainian beer yeah
• 1:28:38
  Speaker 2: yeah for.
• 1:28:39
  Speaker 1: Sure well don't have too much fun over there and
• 1:28:43
  Speaker 1: um uh listen i mean it may be inappropriate but
• 1:28:46
  Speaker 1: i still think it's a it's a it's a you
• 1:28:48
  Speaker 1: know we've got merch dropping it's a great time to
• 1:28:51
  Speaker 1: get some hoodies over there It's not horrible. All right. Vladislav,
• 1:28:58
  Speaker 1: thank you so much. You're an awesome dude, man. Thank
• 1:29:02
  Speaker 1: you very much.
• 1:29:03
  Speaker 2: Thank you very much, Tim.