Latest / QUESTION EVERYTHING / Stop Leaning Into Titles And Embrace Delulu Dreams: with Taryn Delanie (Miss New York)

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Stop Leaning Into Titles And Embrace Delulu Dreams: with Taryn Delanie (Miss New York) · QUESTION EVERYTHING

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hello, everybody.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: I hope.
• 0:03
  Speaker 3: I don't know what I hope this week. It's been
• 0:06
  Speaker 3: such a tough week. Every time I go to record this,
• 0:10
  Speaker 3: I start crying. Okay, I got myself together. Here's what
• 0:15
  Speaker 3: I hope. I hope that we don't lose hope in
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: this time when.
• 0:24
  Speaker 4: I don't know. A lot of my friends said it
• 0:25
  Speaker 4: feels tough to be a human being. I don't know
• 0:28
  Speaker 4: if I feel that, but I know that's the sentiment
• 0:32
  Speaker 4: of a lot of people. There's this Albert Einstein quote,
• 0:36
  Speaker 4: we cannot despair of humanity since we ourselves are human beings.
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: And I like that.
• 0:44
  Speaker 4: I like that quote because we all have to be
• 0:48
  Speaker 4: the change we want to see. We have to be
• 0:51
  Speaker 4: peace in our own lives, our own families, our own worlds.
• 0:57
  Speaker 4: And I don't know about you, but I've really well
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: some laughter and distractions this week, and so my other
• 1:07
  Speaker 4: hope is that this week's podcast will bring that. Our
• 1:11
  Speaker 4: guest is a bright light. She's funny and kind and
• 1:17
  Speaker 4: full of humanity, and I think the next thirty six
• 1:23
  Speaker 4: minutes will make you smile. But I also don't want
• 1:28
  Speaker 4: to gloss over what we all witnessed and what we're
• 1:31
  Speaker 4: feeling so at the end of the podcast, I wanted
• 1:35
  Speaker 4: to play this song that is really meaningful to me.
• 1:39
  Speaker 4: It's the song that I play if I'm feeling anxious
• 1:43
  Speaker 4: or just need to take a breath or just need
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: a little calm. It's called Inner Peace by Beautiful Chorus,
• 1:52
  Speaker 4: and you can get it, you know, anywhere, But you
• 1:55
  Speaker 4: can also save this episode if you'd like, so you
• 1:59
  Speaker 4: can play it.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 2:02
  Speaker 4: I think it'll bring you just a breath, that's what
• 2:06
  Speaker 4: it brings me. Okay, let's get into today's episode and
• 2:10
  Speaker 4: let's smile a little bit or a lot. Big things
• 2:17
  Speaker 4: happen when you're pretty, pretty bold, pretty clever, pretty strong.
• 2:22
  Speaker 4: I'm Danielle Robe and each week my guests and I
• 2:25
  Speaker 4: have conversations that put a new spin on pretty This
• 2:31
  Speaker 4: is pretty smart.
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: Picture this.
• 2:34
  Speaker 4: You're at a dinner or an event or any gathering,
• 2:38
  Speaker 4: and the small talk inevitably turns to your job.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: What do you do?
• 2:42
  Speaker 4: It's a common icebreaker, right, But what they're really asking
• 2:46
  Speaker 4: is what's your title. It's like the world's most concise introduction.
• 2:51
  Speaker 4: And I'll be honest, sometimes I ask people what they
• 2:53
  Speaker 4: do because I want to know how they spend their
• 2:56
  Speaker 4: time what they're interested in. It helps me get to
• 2:58
  Speaker 4: know them. But on the flo whipside, you can always
• 3:02
  Speaker 4: tell when somebody's asking what you do because they want
• 3:06
  Speaker 4: to know if you're worth their time or not.
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: And that's the thing about titles.
• 3:11
  Speaker 4: They can give us a small glimpse into how someone
• 3:14
  Speaker 4: spends their time, but they don't give us a glimpse
• 3:16
  Speaker 4: into who they are.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: We live in a world where.
• 3:19
  Speaker 4: Success stories include college dropouts turned tech moguls and stay
• 3:23
  Speaker 4: at home parents turn best selling authors. Titles, or lack thereof,
• 3:28
  Speaker 4: do not tell the full story, So how should we
• 3:32
  Speaker 4: view them? I kind of think of them like makeup
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: fund towaar, but not the essence of who I am.
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: Our guest today.
• 3:43
  Speaker 4: Taren Delaney knows this well. She held one of the
• 3:46
  Speaker 4: most well known titles in our country, Miss New York,
• 3:51
  Speaker 4: and while she held the title proudly, she did it
• 3:54
  Speaker 4: differently her way.
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: So they're like World Peace. It's so lame, and not
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: everybody agrees with my methodology. I'm sure a lot of
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: people don't. Necessarily doesn't like me as Miss new York.
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: That's fine, that's prerogative. But I was somebody who refused
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: to let go of that soulful feeling that saw us
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: that fun. I wanted to have fun.
• 4:14
  Speaker 4: She was also the first black Miss New York to
• 4:16
  Speaker 4: win with her natural hair.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: Your dreams do not have to make sense to other
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: people as long as it makes sense to you. Yeah,
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: and a lot of times it's not necessarily even about
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: getting to that destination of your lives. It's the journey
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: on the way, the mistakes you make. Alad, I've made
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: some mistakes.
• 4:32
  Speaker 4: All of those mistakes landed her exactly where she's supposed
• 4:36
  Speaker 4: to be a content creator, an actress, and I'm gonna
• 4:39
  Speaker 4: throw in comedian because she's hysterical. With one point five
• 4:43
  Speaker 4: million followers on social Terreen's audience knows her for her honesty, humor,
• 4:50
  Speaker 4: and compassion. A few months ago, she created a fictional
• 4:54
  Speaker 4: character named Denise, Heaven's receptionist welcoming people into Heaven.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: Thanks for calling seven seven seven Heaven.
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: This is Denise.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: In case we get disconnected, How can I assist you?
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: That's so great that you went every Sunday, but you
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: also made it looks like you made forty eight Starbucks
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: baristas cry, Oh my God, puts her in my tea
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: in the wine, Miss ning O King Edwin, Honey, which one?
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: So she calls me and she's like, I want to
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: speak a guy. And I'm like, do you just cool? Walmart?
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: You just expect to speak with the CEO.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: You know we have a Magavita, this Margareta. Yeah yeah,
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: down the wall to the right. Betty White's already in that.
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: She's in there all day.
• 5:39
  Speaker 4: The grease community embraced her online and people started writing
• 5:42
  Speaker 4: it making request to her for videos of their past
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: on loved ones being welcomed into heaven.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: People don't remember when you pass on. People are likely
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: not gonna say, like, and John was the vice president
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: of this impressive company. They're gonna say, like what song
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: you sang in the shower. They're gonna say, like, did
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: you remember their birthday? And that time that you brought
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: them flowers when you were having a hard day. People
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: remember these small things.
• 6:07
  Speaker 4: And so with this huge platform, huge talent, and huge heart,
• 6:13
  Speaker 4: Taren is looking at things differently these days.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: I'm looking at experiences that I really want for myself
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: instead of titles, because one has so much more weight
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: than the other. I thought, the biggest thing that I
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: could do in my life is have an impressive job,
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: and I think I valued having power because I grew
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: up feeling really powerless. So I went off and I
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: got my undergrad I got my master's in an accelerated program.
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: I got a four point zero. I worked in Diplomacay
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: in Paris, like I thought I was going to be
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: a diplomat, and I got to this point or I
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: was like, who am I doing this for? And so
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: what's the biggest change for me? Is letting go of
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: needing titles or needing to be successful in other people's eyes,
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: and finally pursuing what do I actually like to do,
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: what makes me happy.
• 6:59
  Speaker 4: You're way more than a job title. You're a complex,
• 7:02
  Speaker 4: ever evolving person. Your passion, your skills, your experiences, your scars,
• 7:09
  Speaker 4: how you love people, your opinions. Those are what make
• 7:14
  Speaker 4: up your identity. Your journey may lead you to many
• 7:17
  Speaker 4: titles or just a few. Some of us just have
• 7:20
  Speaker 4: a few titles, and that's okay. What matters most is
• 7:24
  Speaker 4: how we are showing up in those roles. So next
• 7:27
  Speaker 4: time someone asks what's your title, think about Taren. Her
• 7:32
  Speaker 4: title was just a starting point of her story. The
• 7:35
  Speaker 4: real key to her success well, she says, it was total, complete,
• 7:41
  Speaker 4: absolute delusional confidence.
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: What does it mean to you to be pretty? Smart?
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: I think that. I mean, I was in beauty pageants,
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: I was eighteen up until I just give up my
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: crown as Miss New York the other day. So I've
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: literally lived the life of somebody who, honestly, I based
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: a lot of my success around my looks. And I
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: think what I realized was my superpower really ended up
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: coming from the fact that feeling beautiful is important, right,
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: It's it's it's important in this day and age just
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: past which my life is already so hard. There's nothing
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: wrong with investing in your parents, right, there's nothing wrong
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: with that. But do you make other people feel pretty?
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: That's such a powerful thing, and and I'm so grateful
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: that I've learned that, because really, I think I think
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: everybody is their own kind of pretty. I do too.
• 8:36
  Speaker 4: We try and interview people who put a new spin
• 8:39
  Speaker 4: on pretty. So I like to ask, cause I like
• 8:41
  Speaker 4: to know what it means to each person.
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: I almost put like an adjective to everybody, you know.
• 8:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah, So I feel prettiest when I'm like right out
• 8:50
  Speaker 4: of the ocean. For some reason, I love the water.
• 8:53
  Speaker 4: I love the salt water, and I don't love makeup.
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: So I think I'm in my most natural state and
• 8:59
  Speaker 4: probably want and I'm I just sound so poring bit
• 9:01
  Speaker 4: of service.
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like giving. I just went to Ethiopia a few
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: weeks ago.
• 9:05
  Speaker 4: And I had not felt more like myself than that,
• 9:11
  Speaker 4: And like I think maybe.
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: A few years yeah, when I was on tour as
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: Miss New York. I've gotten to work with kids quite
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: a bit. Kids will eve. Kids can make you feel
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: ugly cause they will be like they'll just say it.
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: They're like you have food and your teeth. But kids,
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: the way they look at you, you know what I mean,
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: They're just ch kids are so full of joy and
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: trust and when they look at themselves, yes, I mean,
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: and that's what I love. Is like you can put
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: you can put a princess dress on a little girl
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: and be like you're a princess and everybody and it's
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: so fun to watch other little girls cheering for her.
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: They all cheer for each other. Yeah, I mean, so
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: loud and so big. It makes me feel It makes
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: me feel magic. It makes me feel good and beautiful
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: and joyful to be part of that. So like I
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: think I feel pretty. It's when I'm just in a
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: I I think in service. When I'm when I'm doing
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: something like w with kids, I think it's always feels
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: so wholesome and so right. That would be an.
• 9:59
  Speaker 4: A thing to say, I suppose, but oh, I guess
• 10:02
  Speaker 4: like that's actually you took the words out of my mouth.
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: I was working with kids, yeah, like working out. Yeah,
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: I think because I think to myself. I always think
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: to myself like, man, if I could see myself the
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: way that these kids see me right, or the way
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: they see themselves, like, I want to exude more of that.
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: I love that about kids. I feel like we jumped ahead.
• 10:21
  Speaker 4: I want to go backwards pre miss New York because yes,
• 10:24
  Speaker 4: you had quite a journey there. Yeah, okay, So where
• 10:27
  Speaker 4: did you grow up.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: I'm from Seattle, Washington. I'm from West Seattle, which is
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: like a smaller subset of the city of Seattle. It's
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: kind of like a burrow. And what's the most Seattle
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: thing about you? The fact that I'm barefoot right now
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: and I have my broken, my dirty birken stocks on
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: the floor. That is that is dead. That's actually very
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: specific Northwest. I hate I can't escape it, And then
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: when did you come to New York. I'm in twenty eighteen.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: First was the reason I always know when to live
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: in New York. And so when I committed to my
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: university at Saint John's University, I came for school actually
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: never been to New York. I just was like, that's it.
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: And I only applied to one school. I only applied
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: to Saint John's and I was like, that's my delusional
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: delusional confidence has gotten me everywhere in life. I was like,
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna get into Saint John's.
• 11:11
  Speaker 4: So I think delusion gets a bad.
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: Connotation. Is that a word? Yeah, it's amazing. It will
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: get you far.
• 11:18
  Speaker 4: You just have to make sure you have good friends
• 11:20
  Speaker 4: who check you, maybe on delusion, so it doesn't cross over.
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: I don't want to be checked. I just want to
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: be out here living my life. I love it. I
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: was like, I'm gonna live in New York one day.
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna have a great Dane. I don't know what
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: my job's gonna be, but I'm gonna live in New
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: York City. And like so many people in my life
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: try to check me. All of these dreams are disjointed
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: and don't make sense. But to me, I think the
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: biggest thing I've learned is like, your dreams don't have
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: to make sense to anybody but you, truly the things
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: that make you feel excited, I don't care what it is.
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: I don't care if you want to have a dogy fund,
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: I don't care what it is that makes you excited.
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: Your dreams do not have to make sense to other
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: people as long as it makes sense to you. Yeah,
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: and a lot of time, it's not necessarily even about
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: getting that destination of your lives. It's the journey on
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: the way. The mistakes you make. Oh my god, I've
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: made some mistakes. What comes to mind? Oh my god?
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: Where do I starty? Like, what story do you want?
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: I've made so many mistakes along the way, I think,
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: and I think the worst mistakes though, that I'm that
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: I'm glad that I made, is when I really didn't
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: listen to my gut. I think the worst mistakes I've
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: ever made, even with people, is when my good horse
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: sense or my gut was like this, we shouldn't do this,
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: we shouldn't say this, we shouldn't honestly trust this person,
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: And then I talked myself out of how I feel
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: that's the only big regrets I've ever had. I can't
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: think of a specific situation, but I mean, there's just
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: so many bad apartments. I've signed, bad contracts. I mean
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: just so many times where my good horse sense was like,
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: you shouldn't do this, just wait, and I went ahead.
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: Well there's a theme here, right, because you're saying, like,
• 12:48
  Speaker 4: listen to your intuition of your dreams, listen to your gut,
• 12:52
  Speaker 4: and it works the other way too, when you have
• 12:53
  Speaker 4: that spicy sense that something's wrong.
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, I agree. So I think we talk a
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: lot about listening to your intuition. Maybe the draw listen
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: to your intuition as well. When something is right, it
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: doesn't have to make sense to move with you.
• 13:07
  Speaker 4: So you had a dream of moving to New York. Yes,
• 13:09
  Speaker 4: was it what you thought it would be?
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: Everything and more. I have to say it's one of
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: my favorite dreams realized because there was never a moment
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: where I became There is yet to be a moment
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: where I've become jaded about New York. I remember I
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: got off the plane and I like, by the way
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: Saint John says in their advertisement there like we were
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: a train wide away from New York City and I
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: was like, oh my god, it's an hour train ride
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: from Jamaica to New York City. So I bopped on
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: the F train and I was like, wow, we're really
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: it's we're going. I got on the F train and
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: I was on that train for a fortnight. I got
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: off that train, and I remember walking in Manhattan and
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: I was such a tourist. I'm like looking up, like
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: looking at the buildings. So guys like get out of
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: the way, and I was like, sorry. I love New
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: York and I love the people that I met. And
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: I remember one thing about joys, like I really do
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: think it comes from within. I was so broke when
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: I moved to New York. I think I had like
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: eighty dollars in my bank account, and what were you
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: doing for work? I first when I landed and my
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: mom was like, all right, like here's a hundred bucks,
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: good luck. I love my mom's I was staying in
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: a dorm, so I did never rent to pay right,
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: but I had to buy groceries, right, So I got
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: a I started walking dogs. Yeah, and then after that
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: I became a waitress, right, and I have no experience,
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: and then right and so I also I've cleaned houses,
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: like I've done everything under the sun. And I'll be honest, like,
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: those are some of the happiest times in my life,
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: some of the happiest times in my life, the most
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: joy I ever felt. Because life was very, very simple.
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: I had to go to my job, I had to
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: go to class, and in the meantime along the way,
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: I got to really discover myself and discover New York's
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: It's a very happy time in my life.
• 14:46
  Speaker 4: I think that a lot of people that live in
• 14:47
  Speaker 4: New York it's almost like a character in their life
• 14:50
  Speaker 4: the way that other cities aren't. I think maybe Sex
• 14:55
  Speaker 4: and the City did it, or it's a very literary city.
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, What is it in your life?
• 15:01
  Speaker 4: Like, how would you characterize the city now? On the
• 15:04
  Speaker 4: post miss new York? Like, what is it mean to
• 15:07
  Speaker 4: New York?
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: New York is everything, New York is generosity, New York
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: is fun, New York is tough. You take New Yorkers
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: out of New York, They're always going to be New Yorkers, Right,
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: I'm not pretending to be a born and bread New Yorker.
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: I'm not. I don't know. You had to have the accent.
• 15:20
  Speaker 4: You got it.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: So I feel like, but you, New York is more
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: than just being a New Yorker. New Yorker is about
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: a bunch of people, like about like what like nine
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: million people living on a tiny friggin island and we're
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: all just making it work all the time. And I
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: think that, Like, I mean, there was this like elderly
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: gentleman when I lived in Queens and he's to sit
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: every day with his cart on the corner. I don't
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: even know what he was doing. He was at a cart.
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: He like lived nearby, but helways hit a cart in
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: his paper, I mean, and like every morning he'd say
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: hy to me, I'd say hi to him. We talk,
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: We talk every day. We need too much about each other.
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: But we never knew each other's name. It just was
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: never important to ask. Like he never asked mine, and
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: so I never asked. There was a lot of love there,
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: and I'm like, and that's New York. I mean, I
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: think there's just so much love there all the time.
• 16:05
  Speaker 4: This is a hard question to answer, and it made shift
• 16:07
  Speaker 4: the energy a little bit. But I remember moving to
• 16:11
  Speaker 4: la and I think of all the fun first, but
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: they were all also some really hard days.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, what's been your hardest day in New York? I think, Oh,
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: I've had so many hard days. A friend of mine
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: passed away, and I, oh, it's so hard to talk
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: about a friend of that passed away. And I felt like,
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: I felt like I couldn't believe that this person wasn't
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: here anymore. And I walked out into the street, and
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: it felt like everybody was just moving on, Like everybody
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: was going to the store and like laughing with each
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: other and talking to each other and getting in cabs
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: and like New York the noise and New York just
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: kept going. And I stopped and they weren't here anymore.
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: And I was like, how can we all just keep going?
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: Like how can this? How can New York just stay
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: in New York like this without this person in New York.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: And I've had time to process that. Sometimes the noise,
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: the continuation, how New York will just move on. I mean,
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: New York will also just steamroll right over you, and
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: that can be really hard. But I remember I was
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: in a Walgreens and I just looked wretched because I
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: was really struggling, and I was at the checkout counter,
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: and I think I was just zoned out because I
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: was grieving, and the lady at the checkout counter was like, sweetheart,
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: are you okay? And I was like, I was like
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: I'm fine, and she was like, all right, you just
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: take your time, and she just went back to what
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: she was doing. And it was just and it's that
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: nice reminder that it's like, okay, you guys, you have
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: permission to go on, but I'll catch up with you,
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: you know, and you'll let me.
• 17:42
  Speaker 4: So you're making me laugh in sort of a very
• 17:46
  Speaker 4: sad story because of the accent you just did, and
• 17:51
  Speaker 4: that accent has recently sort of been life changing for
• 17:55
  Speaker 4: you in a lot of ways.
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: Well, just have Blenny come down and check on the print.
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: Now it's gotting.
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: I'm telling you it's good in this's something wrong.
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: With the printer. Okay.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: Can I put you on the hold bias is to
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: climb really quick?
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much. Hi, thanks for waiting. Welcome to Heaven.
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: What would you like to go? Starffit to be okay?
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: And then I'm back. Yeah, now they got resuscitated, so
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: Just pop.
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: So tell us about Denise, Denise. I don't know, she's
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: she's wild. Denise is. So I used to work as
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: a receptionist, so I know a lot about Denise's job.
• 18:35
  Speaker 4: And this is pre Actually, let's back up because I
• 18:38
  Speaker 4: don't want Press New York content creator. So you worked
• 18:41
  Speaker 4: as a receptionist, Yeah, and then how did you get
• 18:43
  Speaker 4: to be Miss New York.
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: Oh, I don't even know. I think all the time,
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: I'm like, how did the amount of times I've woken
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: up like I flew a little close to the sun.
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: I don't know where how I ended up here. I
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: was at Miss America and I was ends uping first
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: around Miss America, and I remember I'm in the top
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: five of Miss America and I literally like looked down
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: at my mom like what I was Like, I was
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: a receptionist two years ago, So yeah, that was wild.
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: But moving backwards, yes, I was a receptionist. I remember
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: when I was working as a receptionist. I found everything
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: funny all the time, every day. I think, when you're
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: in a miserable job, you gotta find joy somewhere. And
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: so I think Denise is like this the epitome of
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: like the skits that kind of I thought of while
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: I was working that job, and then one day I
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: got out of the shower recently, I think in April,
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: and I made one and I didn't I actually didn't
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: think people would find it all that funny, but I
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: found it funny, so I was enough for me to
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: post it and people really liked it.
• 19:33
  Speaker 4: And for people who haven't seen it, how do you
• 19:36
  Speaker 4: describe what you did?
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: Well, Denise is a receptionist in heaven and she's got
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: to raise a fier phone. She's got a towel on
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: her head because he got to wey a uniform. It's
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: like part of the Union. I don't know, and Denise
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: like welcomes souls into the afterlife. And but for a
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: lot of it's it is a funny skit, but for
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: a lot of people it's also something that's very comforting.
• 19:55
  Speaker 4: Well, a lot of people in the grief community reached
• 19:59
  Speaker 4: out to you, which I found pretty amazing. And now
• 20:02
  Speaker 4: that you're telling me about your friend, I'm recognizing that
• 20:05
  Speaker 4: maybe there's a tie in for you as well.
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: If you're on the other side of twenty five and
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: you haven't lost anyone, they're very, very lucky, And unfortunately,
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: truth of the matter is you will not be lucky
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: much longer. That is a part of living is grief.
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: A part of loving somebody is grief. It is inevitable
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: in our lifetimes we will grieve someone. And so I mean,
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: I have an inbox, I have a folder in my
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: email that is just full of messages from people. I
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: responded to one this morning where I just was just
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: this long story of somebody who's lost someone. And I
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: think I didn't expect to learn so much about grief
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: through this process, but it's so interesting. People will say
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: the sweetest things. What's really interesting is the emails I get.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: They'll remember the smallest details about someone. They'll say, this
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: is from my dad, and he loved this type of beer,
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: and he watched this baseball game on this day all
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: the time, and he always sang this song in the
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: shower and it's so sweet, and you think, I mean,
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: that is really love is people don't remember when you
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: pass on. People are likely not gonna say, like, and
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: John was the vice president of this impressive company. They're
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: gonna say, like, what song you sang in the shower.
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: You're gonna say, like, did you remember their birthday and
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: that time that you brought them flowers then? Than when
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: you were having a hard day. People remember these small things.
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: And I think that's the really human, the human part
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: of grief that I've learned to really appreciate.
• 21:27
  Speaker 4: There's just a book that talks about eulogy versus resume virtues.
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: Interesting, It's really interesting.
• 21:34
  Speaker 4: So it's like while your mountain climbing is what I
• 21:39
  Speaker 4: call it, we always think about what's on our resume
• 21:41
  Speaker 4: and those values, and then we have to stop and think, well,
• 21:44
  Speaker 4: what are our eulogy values? Like what do we want
• 21:47
  Speaker 4: somebody to say at our funeral?
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 21:49
  Speaker 4: And I think when you're young it's important to consider boths.
• 21:52
  Speaker 4: But as you get older, I think the eulogi values
• 21:56
  Speaker 4: really start to outweigh the resume.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: That's so fascinating. It makes me wonder. I'm like, which
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: which one have I valued more?
• 22:04
  Speaker 4: It's okay to value both, yeah, I think, especially at
• 22:07
  Speaker 4: our time of life.
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: I think I think you have to balance it all
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: the time and be cognizant of both every day every year.
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: That's exhausting. It gets hard to get something done and
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: do and be kind while you're doing it. It's right,
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: it's do you find that's interesting? You find it hard.
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: I don't necessarily find it hard, but sometimes I do
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: when all the pieces are falling and like, you know,
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: it's hitting the fan. It is an exercise of restraint.
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: One of my best friends, she works in PR, and
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: she taught me the saying. She always says, it's PR
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: not the er, because sometimes like your job or whatever's
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: in front of you feels like life and death and
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: so important and you have to like rein it in
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: and be like, is PR not the er? Like this
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: is not life and death, This is not that important.
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: It is important, but nothing is ever more important than
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: having patience to people being kind to people. For me,
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: those are things that I really really value. So I'm
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: not saying I'm perfect at that. I'm sure I've lost
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: my temper before, but I always deeply regret it when
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: it happens, you know. I mean, it's really important to
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: me to be kind to people.
• 23:05
  Speaker 4: What's been the biggest changes or what have been the
• 23:09
  Speaker 4: biggest changes in your life since Miss New York and
• 23:13
  Speaker 4: becoming a content creator aside from not being a receptionist.
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I thought the biggest thing that I could do
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: in my life is have an impressive job. And I
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: think I valued having power because I grew up feeling
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: really powerless. And then and I'm like a first gen
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: college student, and so I watched like the power that
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: my mom. I mean, she's had to like climb this
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: corporate ladder. She didn't have a degree, so she's been very,
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: very successful, but she had to work twenty times harder
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: than anyone else. My mom is always really clear, like
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: I don't want this for you, like I want you right.
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: So I went off and I got my undergrad I
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: got my master's in an accelerated program. I got a
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: four point zero. I worked in diplomacy in Paris, like
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: I thought I was going to be a diplomat. And
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: I got to this point or I was like, who
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: am I doing this for? Really? I was like, why
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: don't I even want any of this stuff? Like what
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: does any of this even mean? I It wasn't necessarily existential.
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: It was more so that I was like every as
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: I got each achievement. I got the master's, I got
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: the grade point average, I got the internships. They were fun,
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: it was cool. I got the crown after six years
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: of trying, I was crowned Miss New York. And there's
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: this really extreme high where you're like, oh my god,
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: and then it dies off and you're sitting in bed
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: at night and you're like, Okay, now what and you're like,
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: I've got to stop this. I don't want to keep
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: asking myself now why it's exhausting, Like when do I
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: get to live my life? And so what's the biggest
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: change for me is letting go of needing titles or
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: needing to be successful in other people's eyes, and finally
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: pursuing what do I actually like to do, what makes
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: me happy? And like not belittling small happiness and not
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: belittling small victories.
• 24:52
  Speaker 4: You're a very purpose driven and ambitious person, So how
• 24:55
  Speaker 4: do you think about melding those two things.
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: So now I'll set goals. And I used to have
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: goals that look like by the time I'm twenty six,
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: what did I want to be? I think I wanted
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: like a I wanted to either be a diplomatic or
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: I want to be, you know, an executive in a
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: company somewhere, Like I wanted to be a really big deal.
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: And now instead I'll be like, one thing I really
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: want in the next couple years is I want to
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: own property, like I want grass. I want to wake
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: up and make coffee, you know, in my own home. Right,
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: these are things that I still have to work hard
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: to get. But like, I'm looking at experiences that I
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: really want for myself instead of titles, because one has
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: so much more weight than the other.
• 25:35
  Speaker 4: Did giving up the Miss New York title hurt in anyway?
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: No, people, A lot of people told me that I'd
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: be super sad, and that's normal for some people. That's
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: totally normal for me, I think because I was already
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: at this place where I was like, well, holy smokes,
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: I did it. I did all the things that I
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: wanted to do. I realized the dream. Now I just
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: want to be enough for myself, and so giving up
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: the Miss New York titles, like, I'm excited for someone
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: else to to go and do it. The new Girl's great,
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: But for me, I'm really excited to just be myself.
• 26:05
  Speaker 4: Tell me about what pageants are like, because I think
• 26:08
  Speaker 4: you are so intellectual and soulful. Not that other beauty
• 26:15
  Speaker 4: pageant contestants aren't. I think some of them are not.
• 26:19
  Speaker 4: How did you connect with the other women there?
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: I would say this to anyone, like if they were
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: looking for advice, I always say, like, don't lose your sauce.
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: I think that people become so obsessed with being perfect
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: or emulating an image that I'll watch people talk to
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: you like this, and then I'll say, okay, so do
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: you want to work on your interview or work on whatever,
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: work on something that's toudas pageantry and they'll go okay,
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: and they like turn on this person, and I'm like,
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: who's this? Like who is that? And to their like,
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: world peace. It's so lame. And not everybody agrees with
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: my methodology. I'm sure a lot of people don't. Necessarily
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: doesn't like me as Miss New York. That's fine, that's
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: your prerogative. But I was somebody who refused to let
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: go of that soulful feeling, that sauce that phone I
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: want to have fun. I was like, why do this?
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: You guys? I would say this to rooms people like
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: why are we doing this? If it's not fun? Why
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: ask yourself that? And no one have an answer for me.
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: I was like, all right, so let's bring let's infuse
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: fun into every moment of this and too, everything that
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: we do or else there is no point and we
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: really are just the stereotypical pageant people. And that's something
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: I really reject because I've witnessed, you know, in my
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: time in pageantry. Also just some of the most incredibly intellectual,
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: compassionate advocate women that are advocates, I mean women that
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: are really big, like they're really a big deal in
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: their field. They're lawyers, these are doctors, like these are
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: really impressive people. So you know, it's a great thing
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: to do. If it's kind of like joining a sorority.
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: In a lot of ways, it's a very very competitive
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: authority to get. It's not collaborative, but you are competing
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: to win, so it is competitive. But in the same way,
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: I'm sure olympians can make friends with each other right
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: when they're competing, or athletes make friends of each other
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: along the way. When you're competing, you're competing, but we
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: know when you're not on say eating a meal. Yeah,
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: when you're eating a meal, Oh my god. It's so
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: I'm my closest friends I've made. What did it mean
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: to you to be Miss new York? Miss new York
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: is a super diverse a group. I mean, Venessa Williams
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: was Miss New York and she was the first black
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: Miss America. But that was in the eighties, so we've
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: had a lot of diversity. We're a legacy of diverse women. However, traditionally,
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: up until the last couple of years, black women when
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: they compete have to straighten their hair where weave like
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: you mean have to. It's just because generally that was
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: the way to win. I mean like the fact that
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: I was told at one point, and I've said this before,
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: I was told like, I was like, what if I
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: wore my natural hair this year? And this was years ago.
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: They were like, just win the title and then wear
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: your hair natural, Like once you get it, it doesn't matter,
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: and then you can win. Wear your natural because they
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: hadn't really seen anyone do before. And so we are
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: seeing now more women win with braids and natural hairs
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: and stuff like that. But that'd be so cool. We
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: have yet to have in Miss America that is black
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: when with braids, banto knots or like a fro. But
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: I think that's next and I would love to see
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: it happen. I would too, I think it will. I agree.
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: What do you feel like it's next for you? Because
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: it seems to me like it's a vacation. No, I'm
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: gonna just have fun. I'm gonna have fun. I wanna.
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: I want to connect with people. I really love media.
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: I love what I'm getting to do. I love You're
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: hosting a little bits now and that's been super cool.
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: So I'm really grateful for it because I love talking
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: to people. I love making people laugh. I love this.
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: This is so fun for me. So the fact that
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: I get to do it as for a living, I
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: feel very blessed. That's really beautiful. And you just got engaged.
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: I did just get engaged. Happened. It's beautiful. Yes, thank you.
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: You've been with your now fiance for a long time,
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: eight years. Yeah.
• 29:49
  Speaker 4: How do you know, Like when you're so young and
• 29:51
  Speaker 4: you meet someone and you grow up together, how do
• 29:54
  Speaker 4: you know it's your person?
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: I don't. That's the myth is that you don't. And
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: that's why I don't think. I don't think that are
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: at this current generation, like nobody can seem to like
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: stay together, right, I mean, I feel like everybody's in
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: this perpetual stay of dating because they expect for like
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: the clouds to depart and there to be a sign
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: in this guy and like this is it. And that
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: is because y'all don't, like, you don't trust yourself to
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: just know, or to take a chance, or to take
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: a risk to love somebody is inherently risky. You might
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: get hurt, you might hurt each other. And I think
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: a lot of people feel that risk and they're like, okay,
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: let me, let me just back on out of hearing
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: it out right, this might not be my person. But
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: what if it is? What if and I'm putting this
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: out there, there is no you know, there is nothing
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: written in the stars. What if love is as beautiful
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: as you just choosing somebody every day. Sometimes I think
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: I get the idea of fate to people like being
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: meant to be together. I think that that's very soulmates.
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: I think, yes, that's very spiritual and beautiful, but it
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: kind of removes a lot of the accountability and work
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: out of reallytions because then it's just like what we were,
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: just meant to be together. So then when it gets hard,
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: it doesn't feel like you're meant to be together anymore.
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: Versus What I found is when I just came at
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: it from the perspective of I don't know of verse homemades,
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: but I do know that I love you, and I
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: do know you're my best friend, and I do know
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: I don't want to be with anybody but you. One
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: thing we talk about all the time is there is
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: a security and knowing that no matter what, I will
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: always love you. No matter what comes, I will always
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: love you. It feels like family. Like think of someone
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: in your family that you love. It doesn't matter what happens,
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: you will always love them. And so there's a sense
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: of security there. And so sure we have days we're
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: frustrated with each other, but I never doubt that this
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: is the person that I'd like to spend my life with.
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: Im.
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: I do a little rapid fire.
• 31:47
  Speaker 4: Okay, if you could give one piece of advice to
• 31:51
  Speaker 4: young women, what would it be.
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: You will not be successful in spite of what makes
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: you different or weird. You will be successful because of
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: what it makes you different and weird, So embrace it.
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: I wish someone would have told me that. Maybe they
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: did and I didn't internalize it or not. I think,
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: and I think sometimes be yourself like that just goes
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: right over her head until you actually believe it. It's
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: hard to just be yourself sometimes. I think as you
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: get older, you learn how to do it. Yeah, it's
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: an ambiguous directive. What does that mean? Yeah?
• 32:21
  Speaker 4: A tip for overcoming feelings of self doubt.
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: Lean into it. You're just gonna die. Like, stop feeling
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: guilty or feeling anxious about the fact that you're doubting yourself.
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: It's not evidence that there is something to doubt. It
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: just means that you're a human baby girl. Lean into it,
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: have a cry, call you somebody and then be like
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: I'm having self doubt and let them smack you across
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: the face and like come back. Your anxiety is not
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: evidence that there's something wrong. It's just evidence that you're human. Beautiful.
• 32:48
  Speaker 4: Your favorite follow on tiktoko.
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: I love Teffy. Teffy's the best Hei Teffi. She's like,
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: I love her so much. And I was really excited
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: when she followed me back and she knew who I was,
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: but wait, you know followed me that. I was like, god,
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: Catherine Heigel, Oh that was big. Yeah, that's She's just
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: like this is so funny. Sheld like call me that
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: dont thing I did, and followed me and I was like,
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: oh my god.
• 33:12
  Speaker 4: So I've been staring at you for the last forty
• 33:14
  Speaker 4: five minutes thinking, oh, you're going.
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: To be an actress. Oh thank you? Do you feel
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: that way. I would love to. Oh can you come
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: me here to.
• 33:22
  Speaker 4: Show so Shoshana is Terreen's Managerlena my good friend. Everybody
• 33:30
  Speaker 4: in the audience here, come here, thinks that you're going
• 33:32
  Speaker 4: to be an actress.
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: We know this is my manager. I'm telling all of them. Yeah,
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: she will be an actress.
• 33:40
  Speaker 5: Yes, she'll be an actress.
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 33:42
  Speaker 4: Oh.
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: This is my Other advice to young women is around
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: yourself with people that are sorry. You know what, you
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: know what, sho Jeanne. I think somebody needs to hear this,
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: because you know what, you're very nice to me. And
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: I know you're like no, but you're nice to me.
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: And I know a lot of young women out there.
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: This is me and you are kind person you are
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: you know, I know a lot of young women out there.
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: You need to hear this, and I don't know how
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: else in this room needs to hear this. Stop hanging
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: out with people that are not nice to you. Correct,
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: listen to me, Listen to me. Yeah, I like that
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: a great. If you're on a date with a guy
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: and he hurts your feelings before you sit here like
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: maybe I'm being sensitive, baby, walk out of the date.
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: You can pay for the food like bye bye. Life
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: is too short. Life is too short to not someend.
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: How people that are not nice to you, like I
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: cannot say this enough, like stop accepting treatment. I mean like,
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: well they're being funny. That's just well, that's just that's
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: just Jane. She's just like that. So she's not she's
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: just rude. Stop. Do not hang out with people that
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: are not nice to you. So like and do not
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: like my manager, she's also my friend. You find a
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: way to manage me and do your job nicely, and
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: you've inspired me a lot because I want to be
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: like that too. That's so nice.
• 34:51
  Speaker 6: I nice to meet her where she is and anyone.
• 34:53
  Speaker 5: I think it's important to kind of like get inside
• 34:55
  Speaker 5: their heads, know how they're feeling, and know how they want.
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: To be spoken to, Like if she's stressed, why am
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: I gonna come at you with stress?
• 35:02
  Speaker 5: And then I think I started have to be patient
• 35:04
  Speaker 5: because that's what she needs in that moment.
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: You just have to be patient with them.
• 35:08
  Speaker 6: And I'm like, you have a busy schedule with all
• 35:09
  Speaker 6: these deliverables, like we need a mental health day.
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: We're gonna push this back.
• 35:13
  Speaker 5: It doesn't really need to be delivered at this time,
• 35:15
  Speaker 5: there's repressibility, so I just feel you.
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: I also like, surround yourself with people who you want
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: to emulate, and you want to be more like I
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: would say that too, Like there are a lot of
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: things about you that I would The moment I met you,
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: I really admired about you and I was like, ooh,
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: I hope that you rub off on you. There are
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: a lot of things about you that I'd like to
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: rub off on me, and I think that's how relationships works,
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: and it rubs off on me too. I hope you
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: make me more organized.
• 35:37
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 35:39
  Speaker 6: I I reached out to Taran because I was inspired
• 35:43
  Speaker 6: by her and I was like, she's funny, Like she
• 35:45
  Speaker 6: was like an oopsie creator. I would say, like she
• 35:47
  Speaker 6: made this TikTok because she'll talk about it. Her mom
• 35:50
  Speaker 6: told her to do it.
• 35:51
  Speaker 5: And I reached out her right away because I was like,
• 35:53
  Speaker 5: this is just a woman that I understand and I'd love.
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: To work with. So it was organic. Oh, it was
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: totally organic.
• 35:58
  Speaker 6: And I like hit her off on Instagram because she
• 36:00
  Speaker 6: was really busy on TikTok.
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: I was like, there's a lot of noise there. I'm
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: gonna go to our Instagram. I think I had like
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: eight hundred followers or something. I mean eight hundred and
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: you've reached out.
• 36:11
  Speaker 4: What book did you read that changed your life that
• 36:13
  Speaker 4: everybody should read?
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: Oh, I feel like this is a very boring answer
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: because everyone's going to say this Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: is such a good book. Nobody said that. Really, I
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: feel like it's a really common book. Okay, shows Oh god,
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: I can't.
• 36:26
  Speaker 4: What is the smartest decision you've ever made.
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: Moving to New York? I would say, saying yes to you,
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: I was asking, I know, I was like saying even
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: the movies to New York, saying yes to you. The
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: smartest decision you have to help me? Never be shay
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: to pay people. Don't ever don't ever be too proud
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: to pay people to do things that you were not
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: good at, or to help, like right, ask for help, Like,
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: do not be too proud to just spend the money
• 36:52
  Speaker 2: on somebody who was better at it than you. Just
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: do it. What's your smartest decision? Honestly, Oh, it's a
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: good one.
• 36:59
  Speaker 6: I would say my smartest decision is when I was
• 37:03
  Speaker 6: like on this my career journey, was that moment.
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: Where I went off on my own, Oh yeah, to manage.
• 37:09
  Speaker 5: Creators because I worked a lot of publishing companies that
• 37:11
  Speaker 5: were social first, but like some of them didn't have
• 37:13
  Speaker 5: as much of a like a face presence, right, they
• 37:16
  Speaker 5: were like a brand, and I wanted to work with
• 37:19
  Speaker 5: the people that were changing the game. And I, you know,
• 37:22
  Speaker 5: chose Tara, and I chose a few of my other clients,
• 37:24
  Speaker 5: and like, I've been in.
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: Brand partnerships for many years and when.
• 37:27
  Speaker 6: You would we would do like a partnership and see
• 37:30
  Speaker 6: the comments and it's all like I love this for you,
• 37:33
  Speaker 6: Like this brand makes so much sense for you, Like
• 37:35
  Speaker 6: thanks for keeping an authentic I'm like wow, Like this
• 37:38
  Speaker 6: is the most fulfilling I've ever been in my entire life,
• 37:41
  Speaker 6: just surrounding.
• 37:41
  Speaker 5: Myself with people who make work feel less like work.
• 37:44
  Speaker 5: And I'm just like, best decision.
• 37:47
  Speaker 4: It was a bet on yourself, all right, everybody pick
• 37:51
  Speaker 4: a question?
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: Okay, pick one. Everyone in the here is like, how
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: was this missed? New York? Hey, it's over now. What's
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: the one song that without fail gets you dancing? Nanna Nanna, Nanna,
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: Nanna Usha. I can't help myself, I can't. It is
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: like a demon takes over in my body. I could
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: be at a wake and I would dance on their
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: great if that's when I came on, I don't care.
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: I don't.
• 38:21
  Speaker 4: I think that that's why you guys get along because
• 38:23
  Speaker 4: shows is a great dance.
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: I should I should knew what he was doing with them. Okay,
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: you know, okay.
• 38:28
  Speaker 4: I always say everybody gets the card that they're meant
• 38:31
  Speaker 4: to get.
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: And I looked over, so shut his shoulder.
• 38:34
  Speaker 4: Nobody has, in however many episodes, has picked this card.
• 38:38
  Speaker 4: And if you all know her the way that we
• 38:39
  Speaker 4: know her, this is the card for her.
• 38:43
  Speaker 6: So I'm not gonna have the best answer, but it is,
• 38:46
  Speaker 6: what's the weirdest thing you've ever got in the car?
• 38:48
  Speaker 5: I mean my car was like my life, Like I
• 38:50
  Speaker 5: changed in that car. I eight meals by myself. I
• 38:52
  Speaker 5: cried on my nineteenth birthday at a McDonald's because my
• 38:55
  Speaker 5: friends went to a restaurant and didn't want to.
• 38:56
  Speaker 6: Go to But I would say, like, maybe not the
• 38:59
  Speaker 6: weirdest thing, but I just love I would like make
• 39:01
  Speaker 6: a CD. If you guys know what CDs are, the
• 39:04
  Speaker 6: word things that.
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: Existed, or like, oh come on, and I put it
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: in the car, and.
• 39:07
  Speaker 5: I just drive around for hours listening to my favorite songs.
• 39:11
  Speaker 5: I even told Taren. Like last night, I had an
• 39:13
  Speaker 5: uber take me home and I changed the destination four
• 39:16
  Speaker 5: times because I asked them if I.
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: Could take over the.
• 39:20
  Speaker 6: And I just put on my own songs for thirty
• 39:22
  Speaker 6: seconds and I had a party.
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: That's because we're in New York. In LA or Chicago,
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: you can bump in your own car. That's a wrap.
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: I'm pretty smart.
• 39:37
  Speaker 4: Okay, you know what time it is. Today's a good day.
• 39:41
  Speaker 4: To have a good day. I'll see you next week.
• 39:57
  Speaker 7: Please ma fee in erpyes from my center at the Senter.
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: Me please len me.
• 40:12
  Speaker 8: Fee in.
• 40:16
  Speaker 7: Yes from my center at the center. Me please len
• 40:25
  Speaker 7: me fee in arpys from my center at the center.
• 40:36
  Speaker 7: Me please len me fee in arpyes from my center
• 40:47
  Speaker 7: at the center.
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: Me.
• 40:52
  Speaker 8: My heart is al bend. I am well.
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: In meason no.
• 41:05
  Speaker 9: Home love love love my hearty, I am away.
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: In measing nose.
• 41:21
  Speaker 8: Home love love love love m m m h.
• 41:56
  Speaker 7: Please love me fee in beece from my senta at
• 42:06
  Speaker 7: the center.
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: Me please lend me feel in bes from my center
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: at the center.
• 42:22
  Speaker 10: Me, please lend me feed Let me feed beece from
• 42:32
  Speaker 10: my Santa sainta sint me.
• 42:38
  Speaker 7: Please lend me fie, please lend me feed.
• 42:45
  Speaker 2: Be the Santas from the center.
• 42:50
  Speaker 8: Me my Harness all bend. I am Amason lody O
• 43:06
  Speaker 8: love love love, my hearty, I.
• 43:13
  Speaker 10: Am away Amason lod.
• 43:21
  Speaker 8: O love love, love love. Mm hmm mm hmmm