Latest / The Wild Woman Within: Recover from Burnout & Achieve True Work-Life Balance Through Feminine Energy / 26| She Was 66 When She Realized She Wasn't Done Living Yet

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26| She Was 66 When She Realized She Wasn't Done Living Yet · The Wild Woman Within: Recover from Burnout & Achieve True Work-Life Balance Through Feminine Energy

0:01
SPEAKER_01: Hey friends! Welcome back to the Fitzin Project.
0:04
SPEAKER_01: I'm Rachel from Yoga Teacher Project Exec and the host of the space where Structure Meets All Fire.
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1:27
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1:36
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1:51
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2:04
SPEAKER_01: So also, what you're gonna see in the newsletter are some of my affiliate links.
2:09
SPEAKER_01: Now, you know the show is free, and I love it, I love it, I love it.
2:14
SPEAKER_01: And also, what I love is my affiliates and the things that I actually do.
2:19
SPEAKER_01: And one of those is a Kathy Heller's membership, and I'm in her membership for Wealth Identity, and I'm also in her Total Abundance membership, so it's kind of like a duo, but either way, I'd love for you to check those links out and sign up and be part of her world because it has done nothing but change me.
2:39
SPEAKER_01: And I've had gone from one level and I feel like I've skipped up to like six levels in the short amount of time that I've been in this, so I can't speak enough about it, which also brings me to my guest today.
2:54
SPEAKER_01: She is a member of Kathy Heller's world too, and I'll I'm just I feel really freaking blessed.
3:03
SPEAKER_01: I feel blessed that I get to have her on the show, that I get to be in her world.
3:09
SPEAKER_01: And uh, Carolyn Chaparro is one of the most fascinating individuals I think I've gotten to speak to so far because she just lives in magic.
3:19
SPEAKER_01: And I can't wait for you to hear everything that she has going on.
3:24
SPEAKER_01: So, all right, let's drop in and take a deep breath and dive into today's episode.
3:34
SPEAKER_01: Carolyn Chaparro.
3:36
SPEAKER_01: She is a dynamic and inspiring individual who has transformed her entire life through her courage and introspection.
3:46
SPEAKER_01: And with a background in real estate and a rich history of living in diverse cultures, Carolyn's embraced a new path focused on personal growth and a community building.
3:56
SPEAKER_01: She's also the creator of the Simple Life Audit Framework, and she helps other people find clarity and purpose in their lives.
4:05
SPEAKER_01: So join me, join Carolyn as we explore her journey of self-discovery, mindfulness, and her passion for empowering others to live authentically.
4:19
SPEAKER_01: Hey Carolyn.
4:20
SPEAKER_00: How are you?
4:21
SPEAKER_00: I'm good.
4:21
SPEAKER_00: How are you doing?
4:23
SPEAKER_00: I'm much better.
4:24
SPEAKER_00: Boy, oh boy.
4:24
SPEAKER_00: I went to Portugal and I absolutely killed it uh with walking.
4:30
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I I learned things along the way.
4:32
SPEAKER_00: First thing, um, you know, I went there with the intention of uh could I stay there for the summer or for the winter?
4:40
SPEAKER_00: And I think that's what I'm going to do.
4:42
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna go in January for a couple of months.
4:44
SPEAKER_00: Um and that was my intention.
4:47
SPEAKER_00: But I, you know, I just I'd never been there before.
4:50
SPEAKER_00: I don't speak the language.
4:52
SPEAKER_00: I I I didn't know anyone, and I thought, well, what the hell?
4:54
SPEAKER_00: Pardon my French.
4:55
SPEAKER_00: Let's just do this.
4:56
SPEAKER_00: And it was good, it was very good.
4:59
SPEAKER_00: I I enjoyed it.
5:00
SPEAKER_00: Oh, what I would do differently now, or whenever I travel like that, is I will get myself an Airbnb.
5:06
SPEAKER_00: Because for me to go out and eat in a restaurant as a vegan, it's just not pleasant.
5:11
SPEAKER_00: But live and learn.
5:13
SPEAKER_00: And I know I went to a market.
5:15
SPEAKER_00: I love that they had fresh fruit market, and I sat on the stairs and ate, I think, 10 or 20 fresh figs.
5:24
SPEAKER_00: And I thought, I am a heaven, I have arrived.
5:26
SPEAKER_00: This is just tremendous.
5:29
SPEAKER_00: It was that that's the small things that really make a big impression on me.
5:34
SPEAKER_00: It's that sort of thing.
5:35
SPEAKER_00: So that's awesome.
5:37
SPEAKER_01: Well, that's good.
5:38
SPEAKER_01: I mean, it looks like you you had a lesson and you also got to have a great experience.
5:43
SPEAKER_01: So it worked out well.
5:44
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it was good.
5:46
SPEAKER_00: It it was very good.
5:47
SPEAKER_00: And let me just tell you another thing that I um the flight coming back from Portugal to Ireland was delayed, which is okay.
5:55
SPEAKER_00: So what I did was I flew into Dublin, and then I had to take a bus from the Republic of Ireland into Northern Ireland, and and that takes two hours, two and a half hours.
6:07
SPEAKER_00: Let me say that's the last thing you want to do when you're on a flight for two hours.
6:10
SPEAKER_00: It's not that bad, but however, but the if you ever get the chance to come here to Northern Ireland, these people are so cool because that flight or that bus left at three o'clock in the morning, and by the time it got up here to Northern Ireland, it was 5, 5:30.
6:27
SPEAKER_00: And I just did like a little bit of an experiment, and every single person that got off that bus said thank you to the bus driver.
6:38
SPEAKER_00: I thought, this is a brilliant place.
6:40
SPEAKER_00: I mean, these people are so nice and so polite at 5:30 in the morning.
6:45
SPEAKER_00: It was just great.
6:46
SPEAKER_00: I just highly recommend coming here as well.
6:48
SPEAKER_00: It's really nice.
6:49
SPEAKER_01: Oh, that is super sweet.
6:51
SPEAKER_01: That reminds me of um really oddly, like the uh movie Paddington, where his aunt is so convinced that everybody that's in London is gonna be the nicest ever, right?
7:03
SPEAKER_01: Like they're all gonna be so nice.
7:05
SPEAKER_01: But then he goes to London and then he's like, no one is nice here.
7:09
SPEAKER_01: No one is so big out.
7:11
SPEAKER_01: But apparently the aunt had a really great experience.
7:15
SPEAKER_01: But I love that that you're like, yeah, that's exactly how it is here in Ireland.
7:19
SPEAKER_01: This is gonna be it's beautiful.
7:20
SPEAKER_01: Everyone loves like they're mannered.
7:24
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they they're you know, and I'm gonna start things that I'm very familiar with having lived here before, but then I realize that those things really don't, they're so different from the states.
7:34
SPEAKER_00: You know, for example, I'm gonna start taking pictures of the students as they go to school because they all wear uniforms.
7:43
SPEAKER_00: And to see, you know, teenagers in a suit as a uniform, it's just, it's just I find it really comforting.
7:50
SPEAKER_00: It just sets a standard that's pretty high.
7:53
SPEAKER_00: And so there's nobody buying something that the one family can afford and somebody else can't afford.
7:58
SPEAKER_00: It's all the same.
7:59
SPEAKER_00: And it's not that they're private schools and that it's not that it's not a religion-based, it's not like a Catholic school or something of that sort.
8:07
SPEAKER_00: It's just that's just the way it is, and everyone is neutral.
8:11
SPEAKER_00: And my ex-husband, who's downstairs, when he taught, he actually taught equivalent to high school, but in a gown, like they're doing in a universities.
8:22
SPEAKER_00: It's just, yeah, it's pretty cool.
8:24
SPEAKER_00: It's a pretty cool place.
8:25
SPEAKER_00: It's just too freaking cool.
8:27
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that is remarkable.
8:29
SPEAKER_00: That it's just speaks a lot to the culture, I think, too.
8:32
SPEAKER_00: And if you let somebody pass on the streets or in the car, because the roads are small sometimes, everyone always waves their hand and says hi.
8:40
SPEAKER_00: I love this.
8:41
SPEAKER_00: This is so cool.
8:42
SPEAKER_00: Anyway, I waffle on.
8:44
SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry.
8:45
SPEAKER_00: No, that is okay.
8:48
SPEAKER_01: This is great.
8:49
SPEAKER_01: All right.
8:50
SPEAKER_01: Well, let's get into you a little bit more and how this has um been your new lifestyle.
8:58
SPEAKER_01: But like you said, you were there for 30 years, things have changed.
9:02
SPEAKER_01: What is what is this and about the business of Carolyn?
9:07
SPEAKER_00: Um, I I um I first I need to clarify, I lived here for the the Civil War, the Troubles, as it was called, was from the late from the 70s till the end of the century.
9:21
SPEAKER_00: And so it was 30 years, and of those 30 years, 12 years of it, I was here.
9:27
SPEAKER_00: And I um because I married somebody from here at such a tender age, what an idiot.
9:34
SPEAKER_00: Um, just ridiculous.
9:36
SPEAKER_00: I had just started to wear a bra basically, and um, I just came here and um I lived here, and so I just became uh aware of a lot of things living in a place that was civil the this civil war.
9:53
SPEAKER_00: They I don't think here they don't call it that, they just call it the troubles, and that's what I knew it by, but really it was one side pitched against the other, very similar to many other countries.
10:05
SPEAKER_00: So, but what what is what is this new me?
10:08
SPEAKER_00: I here's my story.
10:10
SPEAKER_00: I woke up one morning and I just looked in the mirror and I thought to myself, this is not working, so what are you gonna do about it?
10:20
SPEAKER_00: And I remember answering myself thinking, well, if you don't do something, you'll die here.
10:26
SPEAKER_00: And then you have to accept that.
10:27
SPEAKER_00: So don't feel miserable all the time, or get up and do something about it.
10:31
SPEAKER_00: And I I just decided that enough was enough, and I didn't want to die there because I didn't have any family in the United States.
10:40
SPEAKER_00: I had I had lived for a couple of years taking care of a relative.
10:45
SPEAKER_00: Um, I caregived for a relative.
10:48
SPEAKER_00: And then that was no longer.
10:50
SPEAKER_00: And that, and I still remember it.
10:52
SPEAKER_00: That happened on a Wednesday.
10:54
SPEAKER_00: I was no longer the caregiver.
10:56
SPEAKER_00: And then I woke up Thursday and I thought, well, everything will go back to normal, except I didn't even know what normal was.
11:02
SPEAKER_00: And so I just spent many years, eight in total, trying to figure out what I was going to do.
11:09
SPEAKER_00: But in the back of my mind, I thought, I need to, I need to go back to what's familiar to me.
11:13
SPEAKER_00: And being on this side of the Atlantic has always been very familiar to me because I have been very fortunate since my youth to have traveled here and spent time here.
11:22
SPEAKER_00: And ultimately I lived here.
11:24
SPEAKER_00: So I planned, I thought to myself, I need to figure out how to make an income online because what was my profession in the United States and Florida was of a real real estate agent.
11:40
SPEAKER_00: And I did that for 25 years.
11:42
SPEAKER_00: And so I couldn't take that skill, I couldn't take that with me because that involved brick and mortar.
11:48
SPEAKER_00: So I thought, well, let me try this and let me try that.
11:50
SPEAKER_00: And I and I am, I do love technology.
11:53
SPEAKER_00: And so I over the years I tried so many different things.
11:58
SPEAKER_00: And I at my heart, I'm a true entrepreneur.
12:02
SPEAKER_00: And so I did try all of these things.
12:04
SPEAKER_00: And for for six years, I tried this, I tried that, I tried this, tried that, and nothing worked.
12:10
SPEAKER_00: And so what I was doing was I kept pushing out the date of when I would actually make the move and change everything.
12:18
SPEAKER_00: So I had the evidence when I looked in the mirror and I thought, well, you tried this, it didn't work.
12:25
SPEAKER_00: So you better get going.
12:26
SPEAKER_00: And that's exactly what I did.
12:28
SPEAKER_00: It took me two years to um to get myself out.
12:34
SPEAKER_00: I had an investment property um that I needed to sort out and my home that I needed to sort out, and I had to um sell my car, sell most of my belongings.
12:45
SPEAKER_00: Some of them are in storage in Fort Lauderdale.
12:47
SPEAKER_00: And then I had to one of the most important things was figure out how I could get my dog with me, which I did, but I had to find out, I had to figure out that process.
12:58
SPEAKER_00: And then I um packed two suitcases and I left.
13:04
SPEAKER_00: And it's interesting because you see how everything always works out.
13:09
SPEAKER_00: It's sort of it, it's definitely blind faith because my home sold in March, but because of everything I had to do with Miss Evie, my dog, it took me a couple of weeks to get it all organized, documentation, all that shenanigans.
13:23
SPEAKER_00: So I technically was homeless in March, but I knew I was going to have to hang around for five or six weeks.
13:29
SPEAKER_00: So a friend real, a realtor friend, said to me, I have a place that's vacant and you can stay in it.
13:36
SPEAKER_00: And so I stayed in it gratis, no fee, for seven, six or seven weeks, facing a golf course.
13:44
SPEAKER_00: It's really nice.
13:45
SPEAKER_00: So that was just the blind faith, and that's exactly how I have come along this journey.
13:52
SPEAKER_00: Um it's it's just been marvelous.
13:55
SPEAKER_00: It's just having I've just trusted the whole process.
13:58
SPEAKER_00: I knew in the my the gut, my gut feeling was this is the right thing to do, and just do it, and everything's going to unfold.
14:07
SPEAKER_00: And it and it basically has.
14:09
SPEAKER_00: It it has.
14:10
SPEAKER_00: Did it did it come, did it the was the road straight?
14:13
SPEAKER_00: Hell no.
14:14
SPEAKER_00: My first stop was in Wales because my sister lives there.
14:19
SPEAKER_00: And so we were going to stay there for two months, and then um the CV, the dog, um, had a little bit of an accident where she had to have surgery, and so that delayed our next journey for another two months.
14:34
SPEAKER_00: So we were in Wales for four months, and um during that time, see, everything fell into place.
14:41
SPEAKER_00: During that time, my brother-in-law um had has had a business with a company car that he wanted to sell.
14:49
SPEAKER_00: So I got a car for practically nothing.
14:52
SPEAKER_00: It's a good car, it's still going.
14:55
SPEAKER_00: Um, I never expected to have that luxury of having a car because I just I'd sold my car.
15:02
SPEAKER_00: And um, so it just all falls into place.
15:05
SPEAKER_00: But there have been hiccups along the way.
15:08
SPEAKER_00: Um, but yeah, it's here I am.
15:11
SPEAKER_00: I decided after those four months, I thought, now where do I go next?
15:15
SPEAKER_00: And um, so I came back here to Northern Ireland.
15:18
SPEAKER_00: My we drove up through Wales, got on the ferry um from Wales to the Republic of Ireland to Dublin, and then I just drove up here to to the north.
15:29
SPEAKER_00: And um it's been a very interesting journey.
15:34
SPEAKER_00: There, it's it's been very interesting.
15:36
SPEAKER_00: Things have things have been presented to me that I never dreamed of sitting in that condo in Florida, living a very, very small life, but knowing that there was so much more out there for me to experience while I'm here, and long may it be a little bit a lot longer, but I just knew it.
15:59
SPEAKER_00: My I could hear it in the whisper in my ear, and I knew it in my stomach.
16:02
SPEAKER_00: I've got to do this.
16:04
SPEAKER_00: Um, because I would have been so disappointed in Carolyn had she not done that.
16:08
SPEAKER_01: She would have been pretty if you had stayed in Florida and just died, you would have just been so sad.
16:14
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
16:14
SPEAKER_00: I have visions of this of this raisin, like a grape, like a raisin, all shriveled, and there she lies.
16:23
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
16:25
SPEAKER_00: Oh, you just compared yourself to a raisin.
16:27
SPEAKER_00: I did.
16:28
SPEAKER_00: Because you see, another miracle of being here is I have developed a community in a very short period of time, much more than I ever did in had in Florida.
16:38
SPEAKER_00: And I was there many, many years.
16:40
SPEAKER_00: But that was that that limited community was my decision because and I know I I realize that because I decided I wasn't going to like it there, and I wasn't, I wasn't going to stay, and decades later, I was still there.
16:55
SPEAKER_00: So I basically, maybe it's too strong, but I was only my my I had myself to blame for that situation.
17:02
SPEAKER_00: Having said that, I was very, very the best thing I've ever done is to take care of that relative.
17:06
SPEAKER_00: I would do that in a heartbeat.
17:08
SPEAKER_00: But um, yeah, so that's it.
17:12
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's all super purposeful.
17:14
SPEAKER_00: Yes, it is.
17:16
SPEAKER_00: And so where this journey is going to take me, I don't know.
17:21
SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, and and it was one of my hiccups.
17:24
SPEAKER_00: I was here for several months, and then I thought I need to get myself a home uh with a wall and a roof and just basic things.
17:35
SPEAKER_00: So I rented an apartment down in uh just down by uh on the sea on the loch in Belfast, and it was lovely.
17:43
SPEAKER_00: I walked into the place and I thought, oh dear lord, I have to live here.
17:48
SPEAKER_00: Um and interestingly enough, I went into a store to um get some sage, you know, because I wanted to have the air cleaned.
18:03
SPEAKER_00: And I bought the sage, and when I walked out of that um uh uh store, I heard the whisper again, damn that whisper, um, you're not going to stay there a long time.
18:15
SPEAKER_00: And I thought, okay, and I just ignored it.
18:17
SPEAKER_00: I signed, I think I'd said I signed a one-year lease, and seven weeks into the lease, um, I was told that the owner wanted to move back in.
18:28
SPEAKER_00: Um be and I should also have said that because I have a dog, I couldn't get anything furnished.
18:36
SPEAKER_00: So I had to go out and basically buy a lot of stuff for this place: knives, forks, spoons, a bed, a lot of stuff.
18:44
SPEAKER_00: And all of a sudden, seven weeks later, I was told you've got to leave.
18:48
SPEAKER_00: And there's no, there are no rights here for tenants.
18:52
SPEAKER_00: Um, and I and I fought that for two months, three months, until I just thought, I give up, I'm done, and this is taking too much of my energy.
19:05
SPEAKER_00: And ultimately I came to the conclusion that this is the way it's supposed to be.
19:09
SPEAKER_00: So I that was one of the hiccups.
19:12
SPEAKER_00: So all of a sudden, I'm back to where I was when I first arrived with all these furniture and stuff, which I didn't want, um, which I I disposed of.
19:21
SPEAKER_00: That was okay, but that was one of the hiccups.
19:24
SPEAKER_00: And um upon reflection, it's so easy to do this, I should have just have hot water heat.
19:32
SPEAKER_00: And it was just the winter, it was just something I've chosen to do.
19:38
SPEAKER_00: I wouldn't expect it on my worst enemy, but I I knew I heard that whisper, you're not gonna stay there long.
19:45
SPEAKER_00: And there it was, and so it was because I'd still be there now, uh, with that lovely view, but oh well.
19:51
SPEAKER_00: Um that was just and um it's just the way it goes.
19:56
SPEAKER_00: And I'm sure there'll be others, and I know that attitude is everything, and I have this tendency to always learn lessons in everything that happens, and that was just one of my lessons.
20:08
SPEAKER_00: Not to the lesson was not to rush into something and to listen to your gut, because when I walked into initially to the apartment and I saw this lovely view, I didn't really sit down and feel it and and see the vibrations and the atmosphere because it wasn't good and it never felt right, and that was the lesson.
20:27
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you were buying Sage for a reason, right?
20:30
SPEAKER_01: To like and help induce it to feel better, right?
20:34
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, correct.
20:35
SPEAKER_00: That's very, very true.
20:37
SPEAKER_00: You know, I've never, yeah, you're absolutely right.
20:39
SPEAKER_00: You know, you're you're absolutely right, and um, so that was my lesson.
20:45
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so I have one of those similar experiences as well.
20:49
SPEAKER_01: Um, I chalked it up to hormonal pregnancies, but honestly, it's not it's not that it's not you're a crazy pregnant lady.
20:59
SPEAKER_01: It was just the fact that I didn't sit with it and I didn't feel what I needed to feel to make such a hefty decision.
21:06
SPEAKER_01: It was um moving during pregnancy the first time.
21:10
SPEAKER_01: Oh and then setting up a house that I wasn't 100% sold in comfort with, and um I bought it on bought it online basically, and didn't see the house, but I wanted something quick and I wanted something accommodating for me and my family.
21:29
SPEAKER_01: And um, yeah, I should have just waited about a whole entire eight more months, and then I figured out, but anyway, I'm where I'm supposed to be now, and it worked out perfectly.
21:44
SPEAKER_01: But yeah, the um not listening it kind of gets you or sitting with big decisions.
21:51
SPEAKER_00: It's interesting because we're I I remember, you know, we're told if you don't learn the lesson the first time around, that same in a different form, but that lesson will be presented to you until you learn it, until you think, aha, I got it now, I gotta slow down.
22:09
SPEAKER_00: That was for me, I gotta slow down.
22:11
SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
22:12
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I yeah.
22:13
SPEAKER_01: I feel that in my bones.
22:17
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, very true, very true.
22:20
SPEAKER_01: So when you were let's back into that um that stage of Carolyn where you were doing the caretaking and then you were released from that spiritually, physically, all of the things for you to be in a way of I've gotta get out of here.
22:39
SPEAKER_01: That whisper that that took you two years to set in and put in play and put in motion.
22:46
SPEAKER_01: What was what did that feel like?
22:49
SPEAKER_01: Was it more like a like what am I doing?
22:52
SPEAKER_01: A light bulb, one day it came on and you no couldn't look back again, couldn't unsee it.
22:59
SPEAKER_01: What was that?
23:01
SPEAKER_00: Uh the the decision to go, is that what you're saying?
23:04
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like how you got to that.
23:06
SPEAKER_01: Like you knew you didn't want to be in South Florida for forever, but like that decision to just be like, this is now, you're not waiting on anything else.
23:17
SPEAKER_00: Right.
23:18
SPEAKER_00: Uh that's a very interesting question.
23:20
SPEAKER_00: I just it just was enough.
23:22
SPEAKER_00: It it was just, I think I can say that it was I was waiting for life and life was passing me by, and I just thought, this is just not who I want to be.
23:34
SPEAKER_00: I just cannot stand here and do nothing.
23:37
SPEAKER_00: That basically was I I just can't do this to myself because I didn't outwardly complain.
23:44
SPEAKER_00: Nobody knew I was unhappy, but inside those front door, I I wasn't a happy camper.
23:50
SPEAKER_00: I just I was tired of the routine, I was tired of the habits that I had created just to cope.
23:56
SPEAKER_00: I was tired of, I was just tired.
23:59
SPEAKER_00: It was enough.
24:00
SPEAKER_00: And um I remember one day getting in the car and going to Office Depot because I needed something to do.
24:08
SPEAKER_00: And I remember going and buying a magic marker.
24:11
SPEAKER_00: It's a purple magic marker.
24:13
SPEAKER_00: I still have it, and I'm thinking, and this was what you're going to, this is how you're gonna leave your life, your life, Carolyn.
24:19
SPEAKER_00: You're gonna appease yourself just by going out and buying, and in this instance, a magic marker.
24:25
SPEAKER_00: That's just ridiculous.
24:27
SPEAKER_00: And that really summed the whole thing up.
24:29
SPEAKER_00: I thought there's gotta be more than just getting in the car and spending money just to keep past the time.
24:35
SPEAKER_00: I just didn't want to do that anymore.
24:37
SPEAKER_00: I I just didn't want to do that anymore.
24:39
SPEAKER_00: So, does that answer your question?
24:41
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it in a very big, big way, because yeah, it's really kind of ironic that we are having this conversation because my mom and I just had this conversation this morning, and she's been in this um it's not a phase, it's a lifestyle.
25:00
SPEAKER_01: Because a phase to me seems like it's got a beginning and an end, and you're jumping into a different lifestyle.
25:07
SPEAKER_01: You went and you quantum leaped, so to speak, right?
25:12
SPEAKER_01: And so has she in her own levels, and it's like it gives so much permission for yourself to recognize, I think, exactly where you're at, and then decide with that permission slip like I can, I will, I am this now, the whatever that this means to the person.
25:36
SPEAKER_00: Correct, correct.
25:37
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that that that's a very good summary because we have so many choices, so many choices um on how we want to lead our life, and we get to choose.
25:48
SPEAKER_00: Um, and it's just a matter of walking making a decision and then walking over that line of fear because it's there to protect us, but it's also to keep us safe.
26:02
SPEAKER_00: And I have come to understand that it's my responsibility to make the most out of and to uh to make the most in a good way out of my life.
26:12
SPEAKER_00: And if I'm not happy, it's only my it's my decision on how I'm going to move forward.
26:18
SPEAKER_00: And it's not, I'm not suggesting that any woman do what I did.
26:25
SPEAKER_00: Because I mean that could be viewed as cuckoo for coconuts, but I'm just suggesting that we all have so much possibility, we have so much to give back to the world and to ourselves that it would be a real big sin if we didn't, if we didn't just take life by the handles and say, okay, I'm gonna do this.
26:47
SPEAKER_00: And it can be a small, you know, it could be learning a sport, it could be hiking, it could be uh taking a class, it can be so many different things just to give yourself a chance of viewing life in a different way and in a whole way.
27:01
SPEAKER_00: Because one step leads to another step, leads to another step.
27:06
SPEAKER_00: It is, it's basically it's magic, it's just magic, and we have to believe in it, and then and so it is.
27:12
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, and so it is.
27:15
SPEAKER_01: I feel like our podcasts could end right here because there's nothing more to say on that, because there's it you just said it so beautifully, and it is exactly that.
27:27
SPEAKER_01: Like I try to drink this up so much because I know um I've got a whole extra so many more lives to live, you know.
27:39
SPEAKER_01: I've got so many more to go, and I feel like everyone I meet does too, and they're like operating on this level, and then there's a lot of people that I know and I meet that haven't reached this level yet, but I just want to be like, but look, here are so many things.
27:56
SPEAKER_01: If you could be a no to one thing in your life, what would you that make room to be a yes for?
28:04
SPEAKER_01: And it's kind of funny because like I just created this um document actually.
28:11
SPEAKER_01: If you subscribe to my newsletter, which is in the show notes, by the way, but if you subscribe to my newsletter, it gives and outlines the steps to basically prioritize your life a little bit, you know, just by one thing.
28:26
SPEAKER_01: But I think that's where it starts, it's just that like one thing.
28:29
SPEAKER_01: But I love how you were so self-aware and you're able to see your life, and you're like, there's so much more.
28:37
SPEAKER_01: I'd buying a marker that you kept, and then that was your like physical thing of like shit's gotta change, you know.
28:48
SPEAKER_02: Go on like this.
28:50
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's it's you know, collecting stuff is you know, it's a society and it's a world that we live in where it's cle collecting stuff, and that stuff doesn't make you happy.
29:03
SPEAKER_00: I can tell you another story.
29:05
SPEAKER_00: Um I when I sold real estate, it it's was not it's not an easy profession.
29:10
SPEAKER_00: It might look easy from the outside, but it's not.
29:13
SPEAKER_00: And whenever I had issues with some transaction not coming through and or something was icky in my life, I would go and buy a lipstick.
29:23
SPEAKER_00: I had such a collection of lipsticks, it was unruly.
29:27
SPEAKER_00: And that gave me peace for a very short nanosecond of time.
29:31
SPEAKER_00: The thing is, those every time I used that particular lipstick, I was reminded of the reason why I bought that lipstick.
29:39
SPEAKER_00: It was, it was so, and and then I had all these lipsticks.
29:44
SPEAKER_00: What was this all about?
29:45
SPEAKER_00: And the material things do not solve a problem, they just don't.
29:50
SPEAKER_00: And in my my lipstick it's ish um example was it just reminded me of why I bought the lipstick.
29:58
SPEAKER_00: It wasn't a pleasant experience.
30:00
SPEAKER_00: It was just like a feeling a need with a lipstick.
30:02
SPEAKER_00: How sad is that, Carolyn?
30:04
SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, it's it's pretty, yeah.
30:07
SPEAKER_01: So I feel like I used to be that way with drinking.
30:10
SPEAKER_01: Like I would drink if I had a bad day.
30:13
SPEAKER_01: I would drink if I had a good day.
30:14
SPEAKER_01: I would drink if I was just breathing.
30:16
SPEAKER_01: It's just like, oh, you know, it's a pretty it's pretty outside.
30:20
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna go have a drink or whatever the case may be.
30:23
SPEAKER_01: But yeah, it was such a lifestyle that I have zero regrets in changing and like dropping because it I didn't have to leave the country or anything as such, but I got to create a podcast and move into a different form of what I want my reality to look like, you know.
30:48
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and it's it's also a matter of stepping off of the mouse wheel, which is not easy to do.
30:56
SPEAKER_00: When you see life and and everything, um people go, go, go, go, go, go to get, get, get, um, it's not an easy thing to do.
31:04
SPEAKER_00: It takes it if somebody is wanting to do that in their form of whatever it is, it takes courage.
31:11
SPEAKER_00: It really, really does.
31:13
SPEAKER_00: It doesn't happen overnight.
31:15
SPEAKER_00: But unless you start thinking about it and thinking, I think you've asked me a question as why did I come to this conclusion?
31:24
SPEAKER_00: And I I know it was because I stopped and I listened to myself and I heard the words, you're not happy, you gotta change this.
31:34
SPEAKER_00: So I I would recommend anyone just stopping and just pausing.
31:41
SPEAKER_00: And the answer might come right away, it rarely does, but it will come eventually, and you have to tune yourself into that, and then you have to trust yourself and just go for it, whatever it is.
31:53
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's that's yeah, that's my advice.
31:56
SPEAKER_01: It's like a a love muscle.
31:59
SPEAKER_01: I think when you say the answer doesn't come right away, it doesn't come right away for sure, especially at the beginning, because you you sit through a lot of ego answering the call at first as to why you shouldn't or what would happen, how much fear arises.
32:19
SPEAKER_01: But I think once you can get through that and you are no longer in the fear factor, once you've set with it, that's where the answers come.
32:29
SPEAKER_01: What did you do with that?
32:30
SPEAKER_01: How what was your tactic?
32:32
SPEAKER_01: Like, did you meditate?
32:33
SPEAKER_01: Did you do yoga, swimming, walking?
32:36
SPEAKER_01: What was your thing to get through that fear to find your answer?
32:40
SPEAKER_00: I I I I'll I want to talk about two different things.
32:43
SPEAKER_00: The meditation thing.
32:45
SPEAKER_00: I I I have meditated, but what I've come to learn with meditating and how I live my life now is for example, in the morning I wake up and I just ask to be led on what how I can how can I lead?
33:03
SPEAKER_00: What is it you want me to do?
33:04
SPEAKER_00: That's the one thing that comes out of my mind.
33:07
SPEAKER_00: And then for the meditating part, I think my entire day is meditating.
33:12
SPEAKER_00: And when I say that, I mean I t I get to walk my dog and I look at the leaves and the flowers and everything around me, and I'm grateful.
33:23
SPEAKER_00: And I'm just constantly meditating for all the goodness that I see all around me and what is me.
33:31
SPEAKER_00: And that is, I think it's Joe Dispenser.
33:34
SPEAKER_00: He is a walking meditation.
33:37
SPEAKER_00: Never tried it, but I that's how I choose to meditate and to communicate with Carolyn and ultimately with God, because that's one and the same as I see it.
33:47
SPEAKER_00: Um not that I'm God, but I hear through God.
33:52
SPEAKER_00: Um, and the other thing that I know I'm very grateful for, and I appreciate in my day meditating is my health.
34:03
SPEAKER_00: Because I know without my health, without any of our without health, we've got nothing, absolutely nothing.
34:09
SPEAKER_00: And I am so grateful for that.
34:11
SPEAKER_00: And I take that really seriously.
34:13
SPEAKER_00: And so that's the second part of the question of my answer is I swim.
34:18
SPEAKER_00: That's how I that's how I ground myself.
34:20
SPEAKER_00: I swim.
34:21
SPEAKER_00: And I I swim, well, this this week I'll swim three or four days a week.
34:27
SPEAKER_00: And I just swim.
34:28
SPEAKER_00: And my best thinking and my best centering Carolyn is swimming.
34:33
SPEAKER_00: It's the back and forth and the back and forth, and one mile after another mile after another mile.
34:38
SPEAKER_00: That's my that's how I center.
34:42
SPEAKER_00: And but it's it's the cool thing is it is that centering that is is available to everyone, whatever it is they do.
34:52
SPEAKER_00: You know, somebody might knit or crochet, and as they're doing that mindlessly, but their mind is thinking and they're quiet.
35:00
SPEAKER_00: There's so many, it could be walking, it could be it could be journaling.
35:04
SPEAKER_00: It's just there's so many opportunities, but you have to be aware of it and you have to say, yeah, that that's that's how I how I cope with it and how I do it.
35:15
SPEAKER_01: That's amazing.
35:16
SPEAKER_01: I love that you brought in um Dr.
35:19
SPEAKER_01: Joe Dispenza because he actually is um he I listened to his meditations.
35:25
SPEAKER_01: I just found him a few weeks ago, and I'll be listening to his morning meditations is gratitude, and he's got 10 or 10 minute ones, he's got a 30-minute sleep one, he's got all sorts of beautiful, beautiful.
35:40
SPEAKER_01: I mean, they just change my whole entire day.
35:43
SPEAKER_01: I can be having a very bad day, and I can put him on, and it just is like a light just comes in, and I can now feel it in my own soul, which I loved, loved, loved that you said you're one with God in your meditations as a whole day routine, because I feel that on so many different levels, and I love that you're yeah, you're not God, God is within you.
36:13
SPEAKER_01: I get that part, and there's so many things that I think or that um I wish people could just see that if they don't.
36:23
SPEAKER_01: Like they can see that they also have that within them and that godly presence where I mean just the gratitude, I think, walking outside, like your creatures that you see and you're with.
36:36
SPEAKER_01: It is there's so much magic to be had in the world.
36:41
SPEAKER_00: There is, and it how do you get to that point?
36:44
SPEAKER_00: Well, you really have to sit down and and have a chat with yourself.
36:50
SPEAKER_00: You really do.
36:51
SPEAKER_00: Is this the way I want to live my life?
36:54
SPEAKER_00: And uh there's a zillion excuses that you can make, uh, but as long as you know those are excuses.
37:03
SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah.
37:04
SPEAKER_00: It's simple things.
37:05
SPEAKER_00: Like one of the things that I do in the morning is I I after I say thank you and show me what I'm supposed to do today, lead me, I run and I get myself coffee and I go back to bed with my coffee.
37:16
SPEAKER_00: I love that.
37:17
SPEAKER_00: It's a small thing.
37:18
SPEAKER_00: I'm grateful I can do that.
37:20
SPEAKER_00: I'm grateful that I have the ability to walk downstairs, make coffee, come back to bed, and do what I do on a daily basis.
37:31
SPEAKER_00: I'm so grateful.
37:32
SPEAKER_00: You know, and it's a cup of coffee.
37:34
SPEAKER_00: It's it's a cup of coffee.
37:36
SPEAKER_00: I love the smell of the coffee in the bedroom.
37:39
SPEAKER_00: I just love the heat of the cup as I'm drinking it.
37:42
SPEAKER_00: It's just everything.
37:43
SPEAKER_00: And it's not, it's just breaking it down to actual bare bones of all that we have.
37:49
SPEAKER_00: Being grateful.
37:50
SPEAKER_00: I love it.
37:52
SPEAKER_00: Have you ever read, have you ever read Joe Dispense's book?
37:56
SPEAKER_00: He has several books.
37:57
SPEAKER_00: Have you ever read any of his books?
37:58
SPEAKER_01: I've not.
37:59
SPEAKER_01: I just found him like three weeks ago.
38:03
SPEAKER_00: He's a very interesting man.
38:06
SPEAKER_00: I think by profession, he was a chiropractor, and he had a very bad uh motorcycle accident, and he was told he would not walk again.
38:16
SPEAKER_00: And I'll leave it at that.
38:18
SPEAKER_00: Read the book.
38:19
SPEAKER_00: Read research on him.
38:20
SPEAKER_02: He's a very interesting character.
38:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
38:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he's a very interesting character.
38:24
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
38:24
SPEAKER_01: Right up my alley.
38:26
SPEAKER_01: I'll love that.
38:29
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
38:29
SPEAKER_00: This this and and I oh upon reflection, what I did before I decided to make this shift in my life physically, I many decades ago, I decided I needed to understand why I acted in a certain way and why I reacted in a certain way.
38:51
SPEAKER_00: So I made an effort, conscious effort, to start learning and to studying it.
38:55
SPEAKER_00: And that's what I've been studying since then.
38:57
SPEAKER_00: And I have I have a whole library of books and notes from those books trying to figure Carolyn out.
39:04
SPEAKER_00: And that's a start for somebody as well.
39:06
SPEAKER_00: Just start reading or listening to podcasts like this one.
39:11
SPEAKER_00: Um start start deciding that you are worth educating yourself.
39:18
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
39:19
SPEAKER_00: Education doesn't stop when you finish higher education, it shouldn't, because that makes somebody a rather boring person and leading a mundane life.
39:29
SPEAKER_00: You gotta explore.
39:30
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
39:31
SPEAKER_01: Wow, I have not yet heard heard that, like broken down like that.
39:37
SPEAKER_01: And I really appreciate that.
39:39
SPEAKER_01: Because I think that would be a good question.
39:42
SPEAKER_01: Like, how do you even begin?
39:44
SPEAKER_01: What makes you in it?
39:46
SPEAKER_01: Like, how do you what's your first baby step?
39:49
SPEAKER_01: And yeah, it's like figuring, do you care enough?
39:52
SPEAKER_01: You're worth enough, do you care enough to make to learn who you are?
39:57
SPEAKER_01: But then where does life go from there?
40:00
SPEAKER_01: And how do you learn more about what you like and where you are and where you want to go?
40:05
SPEAKER_01: Um it's so funny because I remember being so confused about myself.
40:13
SPEAKER_01: I I had just graduated college and no real um direction or anywhere to really go.
40:22
SPEAKER_01: So I lived in my best friend's attic and I just tried to stay afloat with that, and I couldn't get a job because the market was terrible, and they weren't hiring people without skills, and I just had gone to college, it's all I had done.
40:37
SPEAKER_01: So of course I'm not hireable.
40:39
SPEAKER_01: Um and it's like there was no next step.
40:44
SPEAKER_01: And I just remember talking to my dad, and he's like, You could do all these things, you could do this and that.
40:50
SPEAKER_01: And um, he's like, Why don't you just go be a project manager?
40:53
SPEAKER_01: And he was thinking construction.
40:55
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, What is that?
40:56
SPEAKER_01: So he's telling me all about project management, and I'm like, Yeah, that seems like it's too much for me.
41:02
SPEAKER_01: So I did what my mom did, and I went to nursing school.
41:05
SPEAKER_01: Well, I failed out of nursing school, and then I'm like, I still don't, that's not my niche.
41:10
SPEAKER_01: That's it's not that I really wanted to be a nurse, it's just that I wanted to have something to do, and I didn't realize any of any of that.
41:18
SPEAKER_01: So it took me a while to figure it out, and I just started recognizing what I did like when I liked trying.
41:26
SPEAKER_00: That's a topic of a uh my a recent podcast um Substack post that I just did about how you can't give your decisions over to somebody else.
41:38
SPEAKER_00: And we do that as a uh in our youth, but there's gotta be a point where you say, hold on, whoa, Nelly, here.
41:44
SPEAKER_00: I I've got to decide for myself.
41:46
SPEAKER_00: And the only way you can decide for yourself is if you know what you want and what you desire.
41:52
SPEAKER_00: And you mean you don't get into a car and say, I'm gonna go to California from Florida and and just wing it.
41:58
SPEAKER_00: You just don't do that.
42:00
SPEAKER_00: You gotta have a map, the old-fashioned map or the GPS.
42:04
SPEAKER_00: You you just have to have some direction, and along that route to California, there'll be stops along the way and detours, but you need to know where it is you want to go.
42:14
SPEAKER_00: And and and and does uh does the educational system in the United States allow for that?
42:21
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
42:22
SPEAKER_00: Does it give you direction?
42:24
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
42:24
SPEAKER_00: Uh it certainly didn't give me direction because I have a a degree on something that I've never practiced either.
42:30
SPEAKER_00: So I get it.
42:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
42:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
42:33
SPEAKER_00: It's trial and error.
42:34
SPEAKER_00: And it's being it's being it's being a it's being a young adult.
42:38
SPEAKER_00: It's part of the journey.
42:40
SPEAKER_00: It is.
42:40
SPEAKER_00: As long as you learn.
42:42
SPEAKER_01: What's your Substack?
42:43
SPEAKER_01: I'd love for my listeners to go and check that out.
42:46
SPEAKER_00: It's the Substack is just my name.
42:48
SPEAKER_00: Uh well, if you just go to Carolyn Shabarrow um on Substack, um, I I um again, that's something I never knew was Carolyn, because I love to write.
43:00
SPEAKER_00: And I just pour everything that I have in between my two ears out on paper, so to speak.
43:07
SPEAKER_00: And um, so yeah, it's just my name.
43:11
SPEAKER_00: That's awesome.
43:12
SPEAKER_00: Carolyn Shabar.
43:13
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
43:13
SPEAKER_00: And I've been doing that for over over a year, and I'm going to um be offering um a paid prescription subscription in a couple of weeks' time once I put everything together.
43:28
SPEAKER_00: So um, yeah, that's it.
43:31
SPEAKER_00: So it's just a matter of uh deciding who you want to be when you grow up and then head in that direction.
43:38
SPEAKER_00: Head in that direction.
43:40
unknown: Yeah.
43:40
SPEAKER_01: And how cool though, that you can still decide, and it doesn't matter if you're 27 or 57.
43:47
SPEAKER_00: 66.
43:48
SPEAKER_01: 66.
43:49
SPEAKER_00: It doesn't matter.
43:50
SPEAKER_00: It doesn't, it doesn't matter.
43:51
SPEAKER_00: Society doesn't determine who I am uh and what I do.
43:56
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
43:58
SPEAKER_00: That's that's that's been my that's but this has been my journey, and it's just starting over again.
44:04
SPEAKER_00: And I am open to wherever I am led.
44:09
SPEAKER_00: That is awesome.
44:10
SPEAKER_00: That's it.
44:12
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, well, thank you so much, Carolyn, for sharing this.
44:16
SPEAKER_01: This has been such an eye-opener.
44:18
SPEAKER_01: I hope for everyone, definitely for me.
44:20
SPEAKER_01: Uh every time I talk to you, I'm like, tell me more.
44:24
SPEAKER_02: Tell me more.
44:25
SPEAKER_01: What else did you do?
44:26
SPEAKER_01: Because it's so cool.
44:28
SPEAKER_01: And first of all, I really want to go to Ireland anyway.
44:31
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, that in and of itself is just amazing.
44:35
SPEAKER_00: It's a it's a wonderful, wonderful place.
44:38
SPEAKER_00: It's stinky cold, let me just say, there are no seasons because of its location, just right on the Atlantic.
44:47
SPEAKER_00: Um, but what it lacks in sunshine, um, it makes up in the environment and the people that are here.
44:55
SPEAKER_00: It's just a joyful place.
44:57
SPEAKER_00: It's it's really nice.
44:58
SPEAKER_01: We said the people are so nice and so respectful, like just being around and like a simple thank you.
45:08
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
45:09
SPEAKER_00: It's um, you know, walking down the street and people acknowledging you and saying good morning, good afternoon, good evening, and stop.
45:16
SPEAKER_00: It's just incredible.
45:17
SPEAKER_00: It's it wasn't that way when I was here during the troubles, because everyone had to, they kept to themselves for obvious reasons, but that's not the case any longer.
45:29
SPEAKER_00: And uh it's a wonderful place to if you can get up to Belfast and then in Northern Ireland, I highly recommend it.
45:36
SPEAKER_00: It's just glorious.
45:38
SPEAKER_00: It's on my bucket list.
45:40
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to be organizing something next year as well.
45:43
SPEAKER_00: Next year, my goodness.
45:45
SPEAKER_00: Um so you you just don't know.
45:47
SPEAKER_00: You just don't know.
45:48
SPEAKER_00: Like to stay or to go.
45:50
SPEAKER_00: No, I'm I'm going to organize some sort of uh retreat to bring people here to see to allow them to see my world.
45:58
SPEAKER_00: That's the idea.
46:00
SPEAKER_00: I love that.
46:01
SPEAKER_01: I love that.
46:02
SPEAKER_00: What other offers are you coming out with?
46:04
SPEAKER_00: Well, uh I have a basically I live a simple life.
46:08
SPEAKER_00: So I have something called the simple life audit, and it's a framework that looks at nine areas of your life, and you rate yourself, you rate where you are in them in those different areas.
46:21
SPEAKER_00: You know, your family, your health, your um community, and then then it's a matter of, and then we walk through it and see how we can get you, if you rated yourself a two, how do we get you to a ten?
46:35
SPEAKER_00: And that's what I'm doing.
46:37
SPEAKER_00: Well, you know, I had a tea party a couple of weeks ago on the Saturday where I invited people to meet me and we discussed living a simple life.
46:47
SPEAKER_00: And it was great because it it was in a it's an old, old house from the 1800s.
46:52
SPEAKER_00: It was very, very elegant, and um, it was good fun.
46:57
SPEAKER_00: And that that's that's has solely been developed and has come to my mind because I've been quiet and because I have taken a chance.
47:08
SPEAKER_00: And and and what it does is it just in it in itself has allowed me to see so much more of Carolyn in in not a boastful way at all.
47:18
SPEAKER_00: It's just how I I see that what I've been given in this life should not be just kept to me, that it's my responsibility to help others along the way.
47:30
SPEAKER_00: Because there are a lot of people that are stuck of all different ages.
47:33
SPEAKER_00: I get it, I've been there, done that.
47:35
SPEAKER_00: I have a desire to help other people.
47:38
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and that's what I'm doing.
47:40
SPEAKER_00: That is what I'm doing, and that's the framework that I've created and the the tea party around it and the retreat, which I have slipped out the location already.
47:50
SPEAKER_00: It's really nice.
47:51
SPEAKER_01: So oh, that's so exciting.
47:53
SPEAKER_01: That is beautiful.
47:55
SPEAKER_01: All right.
47:56
SPEAKER_01: Well, if someone wanted to get a hold of you or find out more information, where would they go?
48:02
SPEAKER_00: If if they could, I'm on social media.
48:05
SPEAKER_00: Um, I post there on Facebook and on LinkedIn.
48:09
SPEAKER_00: I have my um my Substack, my um posts, or they could email me at um at Carolyn Shabarro.com.
48:19
SPEAKER_00: Um and I'm at the other end of a telephone screen or a telephone or a I'm at the other end of the internet, just here.
48:26
SPEAKER_00: You know, it's just so cool.
48:28
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
48:29
SPEAKER_00: And and I'm very happy to be here.
48:32
SPEAKER_00: I I really am.
48:33
SPEAKER_00: Not warm, but I'm very glad to be here.
48:36
SPEAKER_01: Not warm.
48:36
SPEAKER_01: Well, your smile is warm and your spirit is warm.
48:40
SPEAKER_01: And I think I just thank the world of you.
48:43
SPEAKER_01: I think everything is just beautiful in the way you've been able to recognize it and see your life as it is and continue to blossom and help others.
48:54
SPEAKER_01: Uh I love it.
48:55
SPEAKER_01: So thank you.
48:56
SPEAKER_01: Thank you very, very much.
48:57
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
48:57
SPEAKER_00: I'm sending you a virtual hug.
48:59
SPEAKER_00: Can you feel it?
49:00
SPEAKER_00: Can you feel it?
49:01
SPEAKER_00: I got it.
49:02
SPEAKER_01: Actually, I'm a little tingly, so yeah.
49:06
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's good.
49:07
SPEAKER_00: That's good.
49:08
SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much.
49:09
SPEAKER_01: Thank you, Carolyn.
49:11
SPEAKER_00: I I appreciate it.