Latest / All About The Joy / Reconnecting with Joel Lava: On Directing Films, Online Dating, and Life Lessons

Transcript

Reconnecting with Joel Lava: On Directing Films, Online Dating, and Life Lessons · All About The Joy

• 0:00
  Carmen Lezeth: Hi everybody, welcome to All About the Joy Rick, hello, Hello hello Joel Lava is with us, hi, Joel.
• 0:06
  Joel Lava: Hi, Joel, I have forgotten.
• 0:08
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what's so funny?
• 0:09
  Carmen Lezeth: I was trying to figure out how long it's been since we've seen each other.
• 0:12
  Carmen Lezeth: Do you know how long it's been?
• 0:13
  Joel Lava: No, it might be like 20 years.
• 0:16
  Carmen Lezeth: It's like 20 years.
• 0:17
  Carmen Lezeth: I think the last time I saw you was Because I don't know if I saw you over at Bergamot Station.
• 0:23
  Carmen Lezeth: I think it was on Euclid right, correct?
• 0:26
  Carmen Lezeth: You were never at Bergamot Station.
• 0:28
  Carmen Lezeth: So yeah, we're talking like 20 years.
• 0:30
  Carmen Lezeth: So did you miss me?
• 0:31
  Joel Lava: Of course.
• 0:32
  Joel Lava: Well, I've talked to you since then.
• 0:34
  Joel Lava: You've helped me out.
• 0:35
  Carmen Lezeth: I and let's talk about that I always help you out, right.
• 0:41
  Joel Lava: The one time I asked you.
• 0:42
  Joel Lava: Yes, you helped me.
• 0:43
  Carmen Lezeth: Oh my God, I help you on anything you're working on.
• 0:46
  Carmen Lezeth: I've joined any page that you've started on gun control or whatever you're doing, I am always the first one, always.
• 0:55
  Joel Lava: I appreciate you.
• 0:56
  Carmen Lezeth: But I've had to beg you for help.
• 0:58
  Carmen Lezeth: Have you realized the relationship?
• 1:01
  Joel Lava: You did not beg, you ask and I answer.
• 1:03
  Carmen Lezeth: You don't answer, but that's okay, let's move on.
• 1:06
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm here, I know, I know, but I told Rick.
• 1:11
  Carmen Lezeth: I said you know, what's so funny is I felt like you kind of invited yourself and I was excited that you did.
• 1:17
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, I felt like it was kind of cool because I would have asked you to be here but I didn't think you would do it.
• 1:24
  Carmen Lezeth: I'll be honest with you.
• 1:26
  Joel Lava: Why, why would no one want to be on this amazing show?
• 1:30
  Carmen Lezeth: Oh, I did not say that We've had plenty of people.
• 1:33
  Carmen Lezeth: That's not what I said.
• 1:34
  Carmen Lezeth: But that was cute.
• 1:36
  Carmen Lezeth: I adore you.
• 1:37
  Carmen Lezeth: No, I don't know, I just thought you wouldn't want to be as short, so I was excited when that topic came up, which we'll talk about later.
• 1:43
  Carmen Lezeth: But I do want to talk about something else first.
• 1:46
  Carmen Lezeth: And Rick, I'll let you talk at least like for two minutes, because I know I always do this to you.
• 1:52
  Carmen Lezeth: So first I want to say I know that you worked with Dick Buttkiss, right, and he just died.
• 1:57
  Joel Lava: I know it's so sad.
• 1:57
  Joel Lava: I just texted my friend who is the creative director for that project and we both texted Tear Crying Emojis.
• 2:05
  Joel Lava: He was nice.
• 2:06
  Joel Lava: He was nice.
• 2:07
  Joel Lava: We bonded over watches because I had a bunch of watches I wore pre-pandemic.
• 2:12
  Carmen Lezeth: And not anymore.
• 2:13
  Carmen Lezeth: You don't wear the watches anymore.
• 2:15
  Joel Lava: I do so much work from home, I don't need them.
• 2:18
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, so you guys bonded over that.
• 2:19
  Carmen Lezeth: But wait so how long ago was it when you worked on that project with him?
• 2:23
  Joel Lava: It was like five plus years ago.
• 2:26
  Carmen Lezeth: It was five or six years ago, yeah.
• 2:27
  Joel Lava: Yeah, and he was really cool.
• 2:28
  Joel Lava: It was with Kristin Cavallari.
• 2:31
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah.
• 2:32
  Joel Lava: He was gung ho.
• 2:33
  Joel Lava: I mean he'd done a lot of acting so he knew what to do.
• 2:37
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, he was actually pretty good.
• 2:39
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, I was wondering if you I mean directed him or helped him in any way whatsoever, or if he just walked on stage.
• 2:46
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, was on stage.
• 2:47
  Joel Lava: We wanted him to like scream like he's doing a really intense pet pocket camera.
• 2:53
  Joel Lava: So I was he.
• 2:54
  Joel Lava: Let me dial him up or down, you know, just like any actor like, because he's acting and stuff.
• 2:59
  Joel Lava: So Kristin Cavallari was nice too.
• 3:02
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, and it seemed like a cool spot.
• 3:04
  Carmen Lezeth: It was for Pinterest or something.
• 3:06
  Joel Lava: Yeah, nfl Pinterest.
• 3:08
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, so I'm sorry for your loss.
• 3:10
  Carmen Lezeth: I thought that was, and I saw that come through, I was like, oh man, he's going to be in a bad mood, you know.
• 3:15
  Carmen Lezeth: But okay, cool, all right.
• 3:17
  Carmen Lezeth: Well, let's talk about you being a director.
• 3:19
  Carmen Lezeth: I did see, and everyone should go read.
• 3:21
  Carmen Lezeth: Well, first of all, joelabbacom is your website and all your spots are on there, and I knew you when you were just a little animator, so is that what you did at Brand New School?
• 3:34
  Joel Lava: It is.
• 3:35
  Joel Lava: I was still directing stuff on the side and doing well at it, but making money wise.
• 3:41
  Joel Lava: It was more animating.
• 3:43
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, so you just did this interview on I forget the name of this Canvas Rebel.
• 3:47
  Carmen Lezeth: They just interviewed hi Melanie, hi Stephen.
• 3:50
  Joel Lava: Do you know all these people you're saying hi to?
• 3:52
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, these are actually Rick's people.
• 3:54
  Carmen Lezeth: They come and visit us every week, unlike you, who doesn't watch or listen to my podcasts on a weekly basis.
• 4:01
  Joel Lava: That's correct.
• 4:03
  Rick Costa: Unless he's watching a replay.
• 4:04
  Rick Costa: You never know.
• 4:07
  Joel Lava: I don't listen to anything.
• 4:08
  Joel Lava: Live, it would always be.
• 4:10
  Carmen Lezeth: Well, I was impressed because you said that'd be a great topic for AATJ.
• 4:15
  Joel Lava: Because I don't remember what that topic was but I only listen to podcasts at double speed, so but I've listened to Me too, me too.
• 4:22
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, well, you could listen to mine on double speed.
• 4:25
  Joel Lava: I did.
• 4:25
  Joel Lava: I listened to you talking about the boat chair.
• 4:28
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, that was a good one.
• 4:29
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, that was a good one.
• 4:29
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, I saw your stuff on that too.
• 4:32
  Rick Costa: I did.
• 4:32
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, so I wanted to talk about this interview on Canvas Rebel with you because I thought it was good, but then it left me wanting more information, like I felt like there was.
• 4:43
  Carmen Lezeth: The rest of the interview had progressed.
• 4:46
  Carmen Lezeth: So first I want to ask you kind of the boring question and this is where I didn't want to interview, because I can't believe you're a Star Wars person.
• 4:54
  Carmen Lezeth: Whatever, we're Star Trek on this show, we're not Star Wars, but no, no, no.
• 4:59
  Rick Costa: I like Star Wars too, no don't.
• 5:01
  Joel Lava: I don't think my son has seen a Star Trek, but he's all in on Star Wars.
• 5:05
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah Well, but Rick, why are you going side with him?
• 5:08
  Carmen Lezeth: Is this what you're going to do?
• 5:09
  Rick Costa: No, my first love is Star Trek, but I like Star Wars too, though.
• 5:13
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, whatever, rick, after this show, you're fired Can you talk a little bit about what's in the article, talk a little bit about how you did Star Trek, and then I want to focus on this thing about mentorship that you kind of talked about in the article.
• 5:28
  Joel Lava: I mean, I've been making movies since I was a kid, with the Super A and that's just always what I wanted to do.
• 5:35
  Joel Lava: Like seventh grade I did a reenactment of I think it was the Battle of Goliad, because I'm from Texas.
• 5:41
  Joel Lava: Oh, that's cool.
• 5:42
  Joel Lava: We had like a cannon firing, just like the Fablemen's.
• 5:46
  Carmen Lezeth: I was yeah it sounds like Steven Spielberg.
• 5:47
  Carmen Lezeth: I was just going to say it sounds like Steven.
• 5:49
  Joel Lava: Spielberg.
• 5:49
  Joel Lava: And then, yeah, film school and I did cable access and in my life plan I was already supposed to be more like David Fincher or exactly like David Fincher at this point, but I am in the DGA, I do direct, I'm also creative director for motion graphics and VFX design branding.
• 6:10
  Carmen Lezeth: Why didn't you go to animation?
• 6:12
  Joel Lava: I was working in Chicago on film crews as a PA in art department and 12 plus hour days and it's just very insular there.
• 6:21
  Joel Lava: It's not like LA, where you can move up quick.
• 6:23
  Joel Lava: It's very much like high school and it moves really slow and I was like I can't do this anymore.
• 6:28
  Joel Lava: I wasn't making enough money and I wasn't being.
• 6:31
  Joel Lava: It was not a track towards anything.
• 6:34
  Joel Lava: So I quit Cold Turkey and started temping and I taught myself after effects, htmls, illustrator and then just followed them.
• 6:46
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay.
• 6:46
  Carmen Lezeth: So you come to LA, you start doing animation.
• 6:49
  Carmen Lezeth: You're still doing movies on which, by the way, I had no idea.
• 6:52
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't know why I would think I would know, but I knew all these guys were wanting to be directors and that's why we started.
• 6:59
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, I started doing all the applications to be in the DGA at Brand New School when we moved over to Bergamot Station, so I had no idea that you were also on that track, but I guess most of you would have been right Kind of, I guess, yeah.
• 7:14
  Joel Lava: So I was directing music videos and stuff in Chicago and then I moved out to LA but then went right up to San Francisco to work at ILM and then I came back to LA in 2000.
• 7:23
  Joel Lava: And every time, like I said in the article, every time I've taken months off at a time to work on a personal project elevated my next step in my career, getting noticed and stuff.
• 7:35
  Joel Lava: So is this the end?
• 7:36
  Carmen Lezeth: goal, or is it feature films or what's in store for you?
• 7:42
  Carmen Lezeth: Next?
• 7:43
  Carmen Lezeth: I've been playing the lottery, a lot.
• 7:45
  Carmen Lezeth: Oh, my God.
• 7:47
  Joel Lava: Rosalie, how are you?
• 7:48
  Carmen Lezeth: Oh my God, that is so Wow.
• 7:51
  Carmen Lezeth: I am still happy to see you.
• 7:54
  Joel Lava: All right, now I can't talk anymore.
• 7:55
  Joel Lava: Oh why?
• 7:57
  Joel Lava: Because Rosalie and I have known each other a long time, too Longer than you, Rick, who you?
• 8:08
  Carmen Lezeth: just met, like you were like thinking longer than me.
• 8:11
  Carmen Lezeth: You've actually known Rick longer than you as well.
• 8:13
  Carmen Lezeth: But we didn't really know each other, joel, we didn't really talk much at Brandy's school, yeah we did.
• 8:20
  Joel Lava: We got into it, did we fight.
• 8:23
  Carmen Lezeth: I felt like we fought a lot.
• 8:25
  Carmen Lezeth: Well, that was sort of.
• 8:28
  Joel Lava: You have a spicy personality so I didn't think of it as fighting.
• 8:31
  Joel Lava: Okay, spicy.
• 8:34
  Carmen Lezeth: I think there's gonna be some fighting later in this.
• 8:35
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm trying to keep my cool, but oh, go on baby.
• 8:39
  Joel Lava: This is from my kids for Father's Day.
• 8:41
  Joel Lava: Oh, that's cool, mr La-ba-la-ba.
• 8:45
  Carmen Lezeth: Oh cool.
• 8:47
  Joel Lava: Yeah so that's what it was, and I was directing all the way through, all doing everything else, and I was like, oh, what do I want to do?
• 8:55
  Joel Lava: I was like, yeah, I would still have to do a feature.
• 8:56
  Joel Lava: I'm trying to get into TV episodic directing and yes.
• 9:02
  Carmen Lezeth: I was really shocked that.
• 9:03
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean I just I totally stalk you.
• 9:07
  Carmen Lezeth: So I look at your Facebook page.
• 9:09
  Carmen Lezeth: I do.
• 9:09
  Carmen Lezeth: I totally stalk some of my people from Brandy's school who I liked a little bit.
• 9:13
  Carmen Lezeth: Joel is on the bottom of that list, but he's at least in the list.
• 9:19
  Rick Costa: He's on the list, so that's good.
• 9:22
  Carmen Lezeth: Hi is up here.
• 9:23
  Joel Lava: Joel is actually why am I so low on?
• 9:25
  Joel Lava: What's this list that I'm so low on?
• 9:27
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't know.
• 9:28
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't remember us having a friendly.
• 9:32
  Joel Lava: Boy, this interview sure is going in a different direction than I expected.
• 9:35
  Joel Lava: This is a really interview.
• 9:38
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm just messing with you Because you said See, it's so funny how you forget.
• 9:42
  Carmen Lezeth: You said you're taking a big risk having me on.
• 9:45
  Carmen Lezeth: So I had to think about what that meant.
• 9:47
  Joel Lava: Well, it's because it was a different topic.
• 9:49
  Joel Lava: By the way you can tell I'm a director because I'm properly framed with my eyes in the upper third.
• 9:55
  Carmen Lezeth: And I'm not.
• 9:56
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm not Okay.
• 9:58
  Carmen Lezeth: So let's talk a little bit more about the mentor part, because I was intrigued by a couple things in that article.
• 10:05
  Carmen Lezeth: So one of them is you mentioned that you had talked to a mentor and you asked them what you could do better, and they just said keep plugging away.
• 10:15
  Carmen Lezeth: And so my question is I couldn't figure out in the rest of the article was that a good thing?
• 10:19
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, I think you made it a good thing or did you want someone to say you know what?
• 10:24
  Carmen Lezeth: You should do this this way, do this that way?
• 10:27
  Joel Lava: Well, it was both.
• 10:27
  Joel Lava: First of all, it wasn't a mentor.
• 10:29
  Joel Lava: It was someone who had graduated my school like 10 to 20 years before me, and so I just went there wanting advice and I showed him my director real-time, which wasn't good.
• 10:38
  Joel Lava: I just wanted him to point out, because I look at that reel and I see the glaring weaknesses that you know like, essentially, holes in your reel.
• 10:46
  Joel Lava: These are holes.
• 10:47
  Joel Lava: These are where you need to keep working.
• 10:48
  Joel Lava: These are where you should keep plugging away, getting better.
• 10:50
  Joel Lava: So plugging away is good, but at the time when you're out of school, it's like I feel more like a fire hose.
• 10:56
  Joel Lava: So plugging away is you're just flailing without any direction, and so I was mad because he could have actually broken my stuff down and done a crit and he didn't and that.
• 11:06
  Joel Lava: So that still pisses me off, because it was more like getting blown off.
• 11:10
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, yeah, okay.
• 11:11
  Carmen Lezeth: That's what I read.
• 11:12
  Carmen Lezeth: I agree with that.
• 11:13
  Joel Lava: I've worked with a lot of interns and all that, and I don't I.
• 11:18
  Joel Lava: If their stuff isn't good, I give them constructive criticism.
• 11:20
  Joel Lava: You can say here's what's good and here's where it needs to be better and here's the creative brief that we're trying to achieve, and you've kind of gone off.
• 11:28
  Joel Lava: I mean, I don't just go keep plugging away and then walk away.
• 11:32
  Carmen Lezeth: So Right, Do you have a laptop on your lap?
• 11:35
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, I'm sitting on in my bed and you're sitting in your bed, okay, no, it's just going to kill me for editing.
• 11:41
  Carmen Lezeth: It's okay, though.
• 11:42
  Carmen Lezeth: You're just a director, not an editor.
• 11:45
  Joel Lava: I'm doing cinema.
• 11:46
  Joel Lava: Verite, let's go.
• 11:47
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, it's going to have like this all so many things, hey, jr.
• 11:52
  Joel Lava: Oh my God, jr Saldano, what the hell.
• 11:54
  Carmen Lezeth: How are we?
• 11:54
  Carmen Lezeth: I know JR.
• 11:56
  Joel Lava: Wait, how did these people know about this?
• 11:57
  Carmen Lezeth: We are live streaming on LinkedIn and on Friend.
• 12:00
  Carmen Lezeth: With Bound.
• 12:01
  Carmen Lezeth: I already told you.
• 12:03
  Joel Lava: I can't say half the shit I was going to say.
• 12:05
  Joel Lava: If this is on LinkedIn, it's not on.
• 12:07
  Carmen Lezeth: LinkedIn.
• 12:07
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm just pretending, I told you LinkedIn.
• 12:10
  Carmen Lezeth: Twitch, youtube, facebook.
• 12:12
  Joel Lava: Oh, I'm sweating.
• 12:13
  Joel Lava: I was going to be saying so much borderline, misogynistic crap that now people who are like these are people who could hire me I have to present like public persona Do you want to play in dress?
• 12:29
  Carmen Lezeth: I know, do you want to go get dressed or something?
• 12:33
  Joel Lava: Yeah, I wouldn't be doing a freaking Zoom for my son's bedroom.
• 12:38
  Carmen Lezeth: All right, let's go, let's do this.
• 12:39
  Carmen Lezeth: Let's go, joe.
• 12:39
  Carmen Lezeth: Oh my God, I'm going to let Rick ask his questions and then you can leave.
• 12:46
  Carmen Lezeth: You are so great.
• 12:48
  Carmen Lezeth: Dude I sent you the links to look at this show.
• 12:52
  Carmen Lezeth: Do you like to be friends with the same people you're friends with?
• 12:55
  Joel Lava: All right, let's keep going.
• 13:01
  Carmen Lezeth: I feel so bad.
• 13:02
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm going to knock you out because I feel like you're uncomfortable now.
• 13:06
  Carmen Lezeth: I did see the promos.
• 13:09
  Rick Costa: The promos I recognized was Shadow Hunters, because I like that show.
• 13:13
  Rick Costa: Oh wow.
• 13:13
  Rick Costa: And Preacher.
• 13:15
  Carmen Lezeth: Preacher is what I'm called.
• 13:16
  Rick Costa: Yeah, those two I watched and I was like, oh yeah, that was really good.
• 13:19
  Rick Costa: Yeah, those promos were really good.
• 13:20
  Joel Lava: I'd shot both of those for the first season, when everyone's really cool, yeah, exactly.
• 13:27
  Carmen Lezeth: Do you have any other questions, Rick?
• 13:29
  Rick Costa: Well, for people that don't really know what does a director do, maybe just try to break it down for a six-year-old.
• 13:35
  Carmen Lezeth: Oh, yeah, as opposed to like a cinematographer.
• 13:38
  Joel Lava: Let's see how do I do it.
• 13:40
  Carmen Lezeth: You want me to explain it in my version, and then you can fix it.
• 13:44
  Joel Lava: Yeah, that'll be interesting.
• 13:45
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay.
• 13:46
  Carmen Lezeth: So, from my point of view as an actor and somebody who watches and works with directors all the time, and this is basically like the CEO of a company they run everything, they are involved in everything, they know everything that's going on and they are able to handle it, or they delegate it to the right people to handle it, but they are in charge of all of it, as opposed to, say, a cinematographer or director of photography is somebody who only handles cameras and handles those shots and handles their lane, basically.
• 14:21
  Carmen Lezeth: So that's how I see a director.
• 14:23
  Carmen Lezeth: A director has their hands and everything and is in charge of all of it.
• 14:27
  Joel Lava: The director takes the script and turns it into what you see.
• 14:30
  Joel Lava: Fine, it goes into it.
• 14:31
  Joel Lava: Yeah, the director is in charge.
• 14:32
  Joel Lava: So location scouting, working with the art departments to build sets, props.
• 14:37
  Joel Lava: He works with wardrobe Obviously, works with actors to help them do what they're doing, talked with the DP, crafts compositions and camera moves and coordinates all the effects.
• 14:50
  Joel Lava: So if you're shooting passes and things on green screen, you have to have everything planned out and knowing if you're shooting something happening on a green screen you need a light effect or foreground explosion.
• 15:01
  Joel Lava: You know that has to happen in coordination with what's going on in post and you have to remember where if an actor says something a certain way out of order, you have to make sure they're running with the right umption and intonation so it lines up with when you shoot the other part, stuff like that.
• 15:17
  Carmen Lezeth: Well, you won't explain that, because people don't realize that films are not filmed in order.
• 15:23
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, like people don't realize that films are done out of order.
• 15:27
  Carmen Lezeth: So I love what you just said, that you also have to say that part again about the intonations and what an actor is doing.
• 15:34
  Joel Lava: Well, for instance, a movie, film, commercial, anything of it takes place in five locations.
• 15:40
  Joel Lava: You don't shoot, but you bounce around through time and you go from the house to the park and back to the house.
• 15:45
  Joel Lava: You shoot everything at the house all at once.
• 15:47
  Joel Lava: So you change wardrobe and change lighting for different times a day and to make sure it flows within the story, but you shoot it all each location at the same time.
• 15:56
  Carmen Lezeth: Right, and then in the editing room you go back and put everything in right.
• 16:02
  Carmen Lezeth: So, you put whatever people you need.
• 16:04
  Carmen Lezeth: It's like a little puzzle.
• 16:06
  Joel Lava: Yeah, it's for intonations.
• 16:07
  Joel Lava: It's, yeah, like when you're shooting, even at the same location, you shoot a scene from different angles and you have to make sure people their eye lines are right and their reactions match with how it's going to flow.
• 16:19
  Joel Lava: And with TV directing a little bit, in film directing sometimes the director is not even involved in the edit.
• 16:27
  Joel Lava: You just shoot your stuff and then you're done and it gets handed off.
• 16:31
  Carmen Lezeth: Oh really, I didn't know that.
• 16:32
  Carmen Lezeth: I guess that makes sense, because you're only there for that episode, right?
• 16:36
  Joel Lava: The DGA has, you're required to give the director four days of the first look, first cut, and then after that they can refine it.
• 16:45
  Joel Lava: In reality it's just a formality and as the director gets his cut they throw it in.
• 16:50
  Carmen Lezeth: Right, okay, that makes sense.
• 16:52
  Carmen Lezeth: I did not realize that, though, but that does make sense.
• 16:55
  Rick Costa: So I was going to say it's kind of like you oversee everything and make sure what's supposed to happen happens.
• 17:01
  Joel Lava: In a very simplistic way, I'm trying to but you're obviously supposed to bring your vision and style and everything.
• 17:08
  Joel Lava: So yeah, five directors will direct the same script five different ways.
• 17:13
  Joel Lava: Right.
• 17:14
  Rick Costa: Yeah, I remember I was seeing the other day somebody.
• 17:17
  Rick Costa: The actor was doing a different project but they needed him and he said I can give you three days.
• 17:22
  Rick Costa: So they had to shoot all the scenes with that actor for those three days but it was not all in sequence so they had to re-sequence it afterward, obviously.
• 17:30
  Carmen Lezeth: Look at Rick getting all involved in film.
• 17:32
  Carmen Lezeth: I love Megan.
• 17:33
  Rick Costa: I love it.
• 17:35
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm trying to understand it all.
• 17:36
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah.
• 17:36
  Carmen Lezeth: You take the vision from the page to the screen and that's what I said.
• 17:40
  Carmen Lezeth: That's cool Joy.
• 17:41
  Carmen Lezeth: Well, now I feel bad about bringing up hot topics because I don't want to embarrass you now that you notice that so many of our old school friends are seeing it.
• 17:51
  Carmen Lezeth: He's so funny.
• 17:52
  Carmen Lezeth: I love him.
• 17:53
  Carmen Lezeth: He hasn't changed one, but that's exactly who I begin.
• 17:56
  Carmen Lezeth: Joy just said I wondered why it was not shot in sequence.
• 17:59
  Carmen Lezeth: What was not shot in sequence?
• 18:02
  Rick Costa: Like I was saying for the example of the actor that wasn't available, yeah.
• 18:07
  Carmen Lezeth: So, Joel, I was going to talk to you about other stuff, but now I'm feeling bad.
• 18:10
  Joel Lava: Oh, let's do it, let's do it.
• 18:12
  Joel Lava: That's why I'm here.
• 18:13
  Carmen Lezeth: Are you sure?
• 18:15
  Rick Costa: Yeah, let's go Okay.
• 18:16
  Carmen Lezeth: So the reason why this came up was because we were emailing back and forth, whatever.
• 18:21
  Carmen Lezeth: And I said men in their fifties are actually at their prime and hot.
• 18:27
  Carmen Lezeth: And you said I think that would be an interesting conversation for A-H-E-J.
• 18:33
  Carmen Lezeth: So I said, well then, come on the show and talk about it.
• 18:36
  Carmen Lezeth: So do you disagree with that or do you agree?
• 18:39
  Carmen Lezeth: That's my first question.
• 18:41
  Joel Lava: Well, I think you, you're over 40, right?
• 18:45
  Joel Lava: Yes, so I guess what I'm saying is people my age, people younger than me, don't think I'm attractive.
• 18:55
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, so you're saying attractive and I'm saying hot, so I think those are two different things.
• 19:01
  Carmen Lezeth: Well, so let's get one thing out of the way You've always been attractive, so that's just silly talk.
• 19:07
  Carmen Lezeth: Like I can't.
• 19:07
  Carmen Lezeth: I can't boost your ego today that I can't do.
• 19:11
  Carmen Lezeth: You were born pretty.
• 19:12
  Carmen Lezeth: You already know that.
• 19:13
  Carmen Lezeth: Look at it.
• 19:14
  Carmen Lezeth: He's like I don't know what to say no like I'm now.
• 19:18
  Joel Lava: I'm newly single.
• 19:19
  Joel Lava: I dip my toe into the waters and I've discovered the hard way that having a five next to my age just completely took me off the market for everyone who has a four or a three.
• 19:34
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, wait, how did you?
• 19:35
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay?
• 19:36
  Carmen Lezeth: That's not true.
• 19:36
  Carmen Lezeth: How did you dip your toe into the market?
• 19:39
  Carmen Lezeth: I guess.
• 19:40
  Joel Lava: Like on a half.
• 19:41
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, no.
• 19:42
  Carmen Lezeth: Why Dude?
• 19:44
  Carmen Lezeth: Why?
• 19:44
  Carmen Lezeth: Why would you do the dating online?
• 19:46
  Joel Lava: Because, I'm in a place.
• 19:48
  Joel Lava: I'm in a place where I don't have a lot of time or desire to put out effort there, and if I have to like make it a hobby, like go places where humans are in the meat space, then humans Sure.
• 20:02
  Rick Costa: Humans Okay.
• 20:04
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay.
• 20:05
  Carmen Lezeth: So, joel, if you don't have time for a relationship, then you're going to get as much as you put into the effort.
• 20:12
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't know anybody who's in an actual dating situation, myself included, who is doing it on apps.
• 20:20
  Carmen Lezeth: The way you do it is this way you let all your friends know that you're nearly single and we maybe introduce you or go out to dinner or you know, I actually okay.
• 20:31
  Carmen Lezeth: The first time we started talking recently, like in the past couple of years or whatever it was I asked you you want to meet up for coffee?
• 20:39
  Carmen Lezeth: And you were like I'm so busy, I have my kids, and I was like dude, this guy thinks everyone's after him.
• 20:46
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm going to get up with somebody If you're ready, if you're dipping your toe.
• 20:53
  Joel Lava: That was the truth.
• 20:54
  Joel Lava: I was busy when that happened.
• 20:57
  Carmen Lezeth: I know.
• 20:57
  Carmen Lezeth: So what I'm saying is is you can't.
• 20:59
  Carmen Lezeth: You can't say, because you dipped your toe into a dating app for five minutes, that now that means everyone who's 30 or 40 or whatever.
• 21:08
  Joel Lava: No, because I can't even get a response.
• 21:10
  Joel Lava: I'm a ghost, I'm invisible.
• 21:12
  Carmen Lezeth: So you've been trying it for how long?
• 21:15
  Joel Lava: A month or so.
• 21:17
  Carmen Lezeth: Oh my God, all right, we're done talking to Joel Lavitt.
• 21:20
  Carmen Lezeth: It was really nice.
• 21:21
  Joel Lava: Hold on, hold on, hold on.
• 21:23
  Joel Lava: I'm not, I'm not looking for a relationship, so that's probably one problem.
• 21:28
  Carmen Lezeth: That's what we talked about, right?
• 21:29
  Carmen Lezeth: What did I say?
• 21:30
  Carmen Lezeth: What did I send you?
• 21:32
  Joel Lava: Secondly, what I'm saying is I'm not even getting like like people I don't like all right.
• 21:38
  Joel Lava: When I was in my twenties and I was going on apps or whatnot, it was instantaneous, whatever it is.
• 21:46
  Joel Lava: And now I'm coming in 20 plus years later.
• 21:51
  Joel Lava: Not only I'm just not even.
• 21:53
  Joel Lava: People aren't even talking Like it's like.
• 21:55
  Joel Lava: My profile doesn't even exist on the app, whereas the last time I did this, it was much 20 years ago.
• 22:02
  Carmen Lezeth: 20 years ago.
• 22:03
  Joel Lava: Because here's what I found, here's what I've, here's what I remember.
• 22:06
  Joel Lava: Here's the part where I'm no longer going to get any work because this is on LinkedIn.
• 22:10
  Joel Lava: I forgot a lot of.
• 22:12
  Joel Lava: I still have game, but I forgot some things Such as I forgot now.
• 22:19
  Joel Lava: These are just generally speaking, broad strokes.
• 22:21
  Joel Lava: Women in their twenties all believe they are secretly lineage from royalty and they believe that they're all princesses and should be treated as such.
• 22:32
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, I'm going to stop.
• 22:33
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm going to stop sweetie, what are you doing?
• 22:35
  Carmen Lezeth: What are you doing?
• 22:36
  Carmen Lezeth: Stop You're.
• 22:38
  Carmen Lezeth: You're so doing this wrong on every level.
• 22:40
  Carmen Lezeth: We do not categorize all women.
• 22:43
  Carmen Lezeth: First of all.
• 22:44
  Carmen Lezeth: Why do you want to date somebody in their twenties?
• 22:46
  Joel Lava: I'm not.
• 22:46
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm not with that problem.
• 22:48
  Joel Lava: I didn't say I was trying to.
• 22:50
  Joel Lava: I'm saying I'm remembering what it was like.
• 22:52
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, let's not categorize all women when we're live, you know.
• 22:56
  Carmen Lezeth: If you want to have a private conversation, it's good, but that's the first mistake.
• 22:59
  Joel Lava: I thought that's what this podcast was about.
• 23:02
  Carmen Lezeth: I thought we're keeping it real.
• 23:03
  Carmen Lezeth: All women in their twenties think they're princesses.
• 23:05
  Carmen Lezeth: Go ahead.
• 23:07
  Joel Lava: No, I said I'm I'm generalizing, and especially on the apps.
• 23:10
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, alma just said maybe you're not marketing yourself correctly.
• 23:14
  Carmen Lezeth: That's what I think, alma.
• 23:15
  Carmen Lezeth: Go ahead.
• 23:17
  Joel Lava: I think, is when you read, when you read profiles on the apps and I'm, the people in their twenties are like you, better come with it, you're going to have to keep up with me.
• 23:26
  Joel Lava: Blah, blah, blah.
• 23:27
  Joel Lava: And then in the thirties, thirties, they're trying to hold on to their twenties and in their forties they're getting hit on by guys in their twenties, so they don't want to talk to a guy who's their age or older.
• 23:38
  Joel Lava: What was that?
• 23:39
  Carmen Lezeth: What was that?
• 23:40
  Carmen Lezeth: I said?
• 23:40
  Carmen Lezeth: That's true, that's true, that's true.
• 23:43
  Joel Lava: I guess you were just telling me how wrong I was, so it's a weird feeling.
• 23:47
  Joel Lava: Well, no, that one.
• 23:48
  Carmen Lezeth: That one part is true for some reason, as in my experience, as I get older the men are getting younger who are interested, but here's the funny part not interested in the younger guys at all.
• 24:00
  Carmen Lezeth: Right, the reason why I think men in their fifties are in their prime and kind of hot is because and I say this respectfully to all men, don't, don't come at me, but there.
• 24:12
  Joel Lava: Are you talking about all men?
• 24:13
  Joel Lava: You're being so general about.
• 24:17
  Rick Costa: You said in there in their fifties, or all men in their fifties.
• 24:20
  Carmen Lezeth: Men in their fifties, it feels like they're and I'm generalizing and I'm saying in my experience, but men in their fifties tend to finally kind of meet, I guess what I would call a maturity and a sexiness that I find fabulous, like they're cool in themselves, they know what they want, like as far as like they want to, they know what their job, career goals are.
• 24:43
  Carmen Lezeth: You know they're not looking for themselves whatever, and and I actually find that very sexy I think men in their fifties are actually at their prime, you know so that's what I was telling you.
• 24:55
  Joel Lava: You find maturity to be sexy all the time.
• 24:58
  Carmen Lezeth: Not, not age wise, I mean Maturity, as far as, like you know, you act like an adult, you have responsibilities, you know what you're doing.
• 25:06
  Carmen Lezeth: I tend to think that the men like when I was in my thirties, I dated a guy in his fifties and it didn't work because we were not connected Generationally and there were other things.
• 25:16
  Carmen Lezeth: But I found his maturity Very sexy.
• 25:20
  Carmen Lezeth: Women in their 20s on the apps are usually not looking for relationship to you.
• 25:23
  Carmen Lezeth: They want someone who's going to offer them Experiences.
• 25:27
  Carmen Lezeth: Well, that's a good way to put it Alma Experiences you mean, we're looking for a sugar?
• 25:32
  Carmen Lezeth: daddy.
• 25:32
  Carmen Lezeth: I think she meant more sacks.
• 25:34
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't know if she meant sugar daddy.
• 25:36
  Joel Lava: I think.
• 25:37
  Joel Lava: I think she's saying women in their 20s want a sugar daddy.
• 25:41
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't, I'll know.
• 25:42
  Carmen Lezeth: What do you mean exactly?
• 25:43
  Carmen Lezeth: I thought you meant more like you know someone who's going to offer them experiences, fun, you know joy like just you know they're not looking.
• 25:51
  Rick Costa: Oh, she's saying oh, she said both that was a good diplomatic answer.
• 25:56
  Joel Lava: They're looking for someone to offer experiences like hey, let me take you to mama's.
• 26:00
  Joel Lava: Hey, let's go on a ski trip.
• 26:01
  Joel Lava: Hey.
• 26:05
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay.
• 26:06
  Carmen Lezeth: So you're looking for what?
• 26:07
  Carmen Lezeth: You're not looking for a relationship.
• 26:09
  Carmen Lezeth: You're just looking to hang out in our sex.
• 26:11
  Carmen Lezeth: You're looking just to hang out I.
• 26:14
  Joel Lava: I'm look, yeah, but my generalization about the age groups are just that.
• 26:19
  Joel Lava: It's just generalizations.
• 26:20
  Joel Lava: Obviously there's people in their 20s looking to settle down.
• 26:25
  Joel Lava: There's people in their 30s and 20s who are very emotionally mature.
• 26:29
  Joel Lava: I'm just making a broad show.
• 26:30
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, are you looking to eventually make sure I married again?
• 26:33
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm not trying to get you in trouble, are you?
• 26:36
  Joel Lava: well, see, that's what.
• 26:37
  Joel Lava: That's what.
• 26:38
  Joel Lava: I will be the last person that Hallmark cards hires to write for them.
• 26:41
  Joel Lava: No, I'm in a place now.
• 26:43
  Joel Lava: I'm in a place now where, yeah, like I'm not putting women down at all, like women are great, I think they should be our president and all that stuff, but what I'm saying is like, yeah, no, I'm, I'm I.
• 26:56
  Joel Lava: If I never go on a date again, life I'll be okay.
• 26:59
  Joel Lava: So I'm trying to work through that.
• 27:00
  Joel Lava: That's where I'm at right now.
• 27:02
  Joel Lava: I'm speaking of joy.
• 27:03
  Joel Lava: I'm trying to find joy and everyday existence.
• 27:07
  Joel Lava: I'm trying to get better at loving myself and and if someone enters my life through that but you know, we got to love ourselves before we can live someone else I agree.
• 27:17
  Carmen Lezeth: That's good, that that's exactly right.
• 27:20
  Carmen Lezeth: So why the apps then?
• 27:23
  Joel Lava: I'm trying to.
• 27:24
  Joel Lava: I'm also an Al-Anon and there's something called contrary action and I'm trying to take contrary action.
• 27:32
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, I know Al-Anon yeah.
• 27:34
  Joel Lava: I'm taking contrary action to Make myself do step out of my comfort zone to further betterment of my general well-being.
• 27:44
  Carmen Lezeth: I Would have never guessed, if we, you and I were having this conversation, that this would be the topic, but it's kind of cool actually companionship and fun would be welcome.
• 27:55
  Joel Lava: Yeah, I guess one of the reasons I can't really date right now.
• 27:59
  Joel Lava: I mean, there's a ton of reasons, both logistical and emotional.
• 28:02
  Joel Lava: I I just the idea of being judged negatively by a woman.
• 28:07
  Joel Lava: I can't allow it, so I've removed myself from that equation.
• 28:11
  Carmen Lezeth: I am not.
• 28:11
  Carmen Lezeth: I am not judging you negatively.
• 28:13
  Carmen Lezeth: I just want you to know I'm all positive for you.
• 28:17
  Joel Lava: But the the topic was dating in the 50s and the fact is, like I'm saying, let's just keep it in the 40s and 50s.
• 28:24
  Joel Lava: What I found in my in my brief foray into the Dating and it is brief, I don't have a lot of data is that, like I said, women in their 40s Are getting hit on by younger guys, as are women in their 50s.
• 28:38
  Joel Lava: So it's just sort of like the worst of all worlds and, like you said, the apps may not be the way to do it the apps are not way to do this.
• 28:48
  Carmen Lezeth: They're not.
• 28:48
  Carmen Lezeth: But if you don't have time to hang out, if you don't have time to have cup coffee with people or meet people, I don't, I don't know you're, you're kind of digging yourself in.
• 28:57
  Carmen Lezeth: This is actually more interesting that there's a night football.
• 29:01
  Joel Lava: I have a date tomorrow during lunch to play a board game with a woman and I might drive up to Northern Ish California to see someone.
• 29:11
  Joel Lava: But that was a okay a little bit.
• 29:15
  Rick Costa: Is that via apps, or are you just people you know, or apps?
• 29:19
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, so that's good then.
• 29:21
  Joel Lava: I don't know what you're getting.
• 29:22
  Joel Lava: Yeah, I want to be surprised.
• 29:24
  Joel Lava: I think that's actually fun, that'll be perfect.
• 29:27
  Joel Lava: Yeah, so what I I put on one of my profiles was just basically, I didn't say free mail s, but that's what I put, not for like sex, for anything.
• 29:36
  Joel Lava: If you need an extra for tennis doubles or to go to an event, just call me and I'll be there, because I just want to have experience without any, without any pressure and expectations.
• 29:48
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, I think this is a good thing, so this sounds more positive than how you started.
• 29:52
  Joel Lava: Well, you know, I, like I said, the connection here is bad.
• 29:56
  Joel Lava: I've got profess potential employers one, and you know I lost.
• 30:00
  Joel Lava: I lost my way.
• 30:01
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, okay, no, look at it, it's okay, I won't.
• 30:05
  Carmen Lezeth: I won't put up clips of you and don't worry about it, it's fine.
• 30:09
  Joel Lava: Carmen, if you, if you were going through a social event and you just didn't want to go stag, you call me, I'm there.
• 30:16
  Carmen Lezeth: I know okay, good, but.
• 30:18
  Rick Costa: I what if you're too busy?
• 30:20
  Carmen Lezeth: You're too busy I told you.
• 30:22
  Carmen Lezeth: Here's my thing I have so many friends, right, I have a lot of people who are single, beautiful, smart women, and I'm not saying all of them would be perfect for you, but the minute I knew you were on this road, I told you come in, have have coffee with me, or whatever, because I wanted to ask you this and you were not ready then.
• 30:45
  Carmen Lezeth: But it sounds like you're ready now and so we'll talk.
• 30:48
  Joel Lava: I wouldn't, I, I wouldn't do that to you.
• 30:51
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't think I'm in the state of mind to me.
• 30:53
  Carmen Lezeth: Have me look you up with your body.
• 30:54
  Carmen Lezeth: Have you hook?
• 30:56
  Carmen Lezeth: Hook you up with one of my friends?
• 30:58
  Joel Lava: Yeah, like.
• 30:58
  Joel Lava: Yeah, we can talk about that separately.
• 31:01
  Carmen Lezeth: The first God, maybe you're right.
• 31:03
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, never mind.
• 31:05
  Joel Lava: The person.
• 31:06
  Joel Lava: I believe the people will look like their pictures.
• 31:09
  Rick Costa: Yet Well, a lot of times, though, they will use a picture of them, but like from 15, 20 years ago, which is not exactly there.
• 31:16
  Joel Lava: But well, I'll tell you this.
• 31:17
  Joel Lava: The app I'm using is called stir.
• 31:20
  Joel Lava: It's for single parents.
• 31:21
  Joel Lava: Never heard of it, so those pictures are shockingly.
• 31:24
  Joel Lava: I'll just say this they are not flattering pictures.
• 31:27
  Joel Lava: I it's almost like stir said put your leaf flattering pictures up of yourself.
• 31:31
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't understand it, but so you've been surprised when you've actually met people.
• 31:36
  Joel Lava: I've only met one person in person.
• 31:38
  Carmen Lezeth: Did they look like their picture or were you pleasantly surprised?
• 31:41
  Carmen Lezeth: Yes, do you meet them online first.
• 31:43
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, did you meet them online first?
• 31:46
  Joel Lava: Yeah, through the app.
• 31:47
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, yeah, I, okay, I I've told many people this in the past I met Robert.
• 31:52
  Carmen Lezeth: We were on Yahoo Personals back when it was really taboo and nobody was using it, you know what I mean and nobody was talking about it.
• 32:00
  Carmen Lezeth: And you know we talked for like six months.
• 32:02
  Carmen Lezeth: I would not visit him in Las Vegas.
• 32:04
  Carmen Lezeth: And you know, one thing led to another and you know we're still friends now.
• 32:08
  Carmen Lezeth: But I think the whole app thing just has to be one part of your strategy.
• 32:13
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, if, if you're really interested in meeting a lot of people and trying to find somebody, or you want to have sex or Whatever it is, you know I mean that there's a whole thing you got to kind of get into doing, but it's not the only tool available.
• 32:27
  Carmen Lezeth: I think doing things like this meeting people on online chats too is a good one.
• 32:32
  Joel Lava: Look at ass.
• 32:33
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm a back-up big girl.
• 32:36
  Rick Costa: By the way.
• 32:36
  Rick Costa: I think you're actually single too right, I think so I should have all put that out there.
• 32:44
  Carmen Lezeth: That's hilarious, you know I think.
• 32:46
  Rick Costa: Initially, though, you were saying on the apps if you have 50 in your age, then you don't exist.
• 32:52
  Rick Costa: They just pass you by.
• 32:53
  Rick Costa: Yes, well, then it's a dash, you don't want them anyway.
• 32:59
  Carmen Lezeth: No way.
• 32:59
  Carmen Lezeth: I was just gonna say like I don't know why you would want somebody.
• 33:02
  Carmen Lezeth: Who I mean?
• 33:04
  Carmen Lezeth: If somebody is looking at you and they're not interested in you and it's and you really think it's because of their age, why would you want that person around you?
• 33:12
  Joel Lava: anyways, that doesn't you know what I?
• 33:14
  Carmen Lezeth: mean Like I'd be like dodge the bullet.
• 33:16
  Joel Lava: Let me let me be more precise.
• 33:19
  Joel Lava: The other app on the on the app stir Other single parents.
• 33:24
  Joel Lava: I am getting responses.
• 33:26
  Joel Lava: Okay the other app called field, which is more like Tinder.
• 33:32
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't exist and that bothers you.
• 33:34
  Carmen Lezeth: Why is that?
• 33:35
  Carmen Lezeth: A ego thing, for you know.
• 33:37
  Joel Lava: I the part of it is because the last time I did this I was the cat's meow.
• 33:40
  Joel Lava: Now I'm an invisible old ghost and I don't like that.
• 33:44
  Carmen Lezeth: That's an ego thing and well, you know what, not every app is gonna be the right app for you, and maybe the one you're doing Right.
• 33:51
  Carmen Lezeth: And I'm starting to think.
• 33:53
  Joel Lava: Field very likely is not the right app, and I did not say I was looking for relationships, so if that person's not someone I want to have a relationship with, that's not necessarily a factor.
• 34:05
  Carmen Lezeth: On which one?
• 34:05
  Carmen Lezeth: The Tinder-like one.
• 34:07
  Joel Lava: Yeah, by the way, I was having lunch with someone today and he got a call from his wife saying that she just found out not only does their son have COVID, but now she has it.
• 34:18
  Joel Lava: And I was like, oh, do I walk away?
• 34:21
  Joel Lava: But he's already breathed on me.
• 34:23
  Joel Lava: I didn't know what to do, so I just continued having lunch.
• 34:26
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm sorry I laughed, but you'll be okay.
• 34:28
  Rick Costa: Oh, do you know what I just remembered, I got an appointment, I got to go.
• 34:31
  Rick Costa: Bye, good to see you.
• 34:32
  Carmen Lezeth: You're vaccinated?
• 34:33
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, joel, you were always, and I don't care, I'm gonna embarrass you.
• 34:37
  Carmen Lezeth: You remind me so much of Alden.
• 34:40
  Carmen Lezeth: It kind of annoys me.
• 34:41
  Carmen Lezeth: Alden's like my brother from another mother, but he's, you know, born pretty awesome guy.
• 34:47
  Carmen Lezeth: Blah, blah, blah, whatever.
• 34:48
  Carmen Lezeth: So, yeah, things change as we get older.
• 34:50
  Carmen Lezeth: It doesn't mean you're any less hot, it's just using the wrong app.
• 34:53
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 34:54
  Carmen Lezeth: Like there's, you just said the other app to doing.
• 34:56
  Carmen Lezeth: Well, you know, but that's an ego thing for you Got to get over that.
• 35:01
  Joel Lava: I think it's been a hard year because the professionally, the work dried up for the first time in my life, I felt ageism for the first time in my life and I've worked wise and I felt ageism for the first time in my, in the in the being attractive zone, and also finalized my divorce.
• 35:22
  Joel Lava: So a lot happens here to make me start this podcast with you not on the best foot.
• 35:28
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, that's fair and look at it.
• 35:29
  Carmen Lezeth: I think that's actually a really honest answer and that actually makes more sense to me and I kind of knew that.
• 35:35
  Carmen Lezeth: I kind of got that from you easily, you know, and I also still don't remember us having such deep conversations.
• 35:43
  Rick Costa: So you know I do how much time since the divorce was finalized.
• 35:47
  Rick Costa: How much time has passed, may?
• 35:49
  Rick Costa: Oh, so it's not even a year.
• 35:51
  Joel Lava: It's new.
• 35:52
  Joel Lava: Yeah, carmen, we would talk about serious shit.
• 35:55
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't remember that.
• 35:56
  Carmen Lezeth: Are you sure to me or some other black?
• 35:58
  Joel Lava: That's why you liked me, because I would actually talk to you about things that weren't about 20 year old.
• 36:04
  Joel Lava: Fuck boy shit.
• 36:06
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, wait, you got to explain.
• 36:07
  Carmen Lezeth: I'll have to explain a little bit.
• 36:09
  Carmen Lezeth: What are you?
• 36:10
  Carmen Lezeth: Are you talking about when we're at brand new school?
• 36:12
  Joel Lava: That's the only time we talked.
• 36:14
  Carmen Lezeth: I know.
• 36:14
  Carmen Lezeth: I know I'm sorry, I know we went to that diner and had lunch.
• 36:19
  Joel Lava: We got into a deep conversation about lighting black people.
• 36:22
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, you're going to have to explain that, because I have no idea what you just said.
• 36:24
  Carmen Lezeth: What oh lighting?
• 36:26
  Rick Costa: Lighting on the back On a film set.
• 36:28
  Rick Costa: Somebody darker skinned lighting yeah.
• 36:31
  Carmen Lezeth: Oh my God, I was like what are you talking about?
• 36:35
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, that I actually do remember having that conversation.
• 36:38
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, I'll tell you why I liked you.
• 36:40
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm being very serious.
• 36:41
  Joel Lava: I mean, you were also a much shorter I'm not fishing for you to say this, by the way.
• 36:46
  Carmen Lezeth: I know you're not.
• 36:46
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm saying it because I want you.
• 36:48
  Carmen Lezeth: You were also a mature person.
• 36:51
  Carmen Lezeth: You weren't high maintenance, and that's what I liked about you.
• 36:53
  Carmen Lezeth: You were easy.
• 36:54
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, you were just.
• 36:56
  Joel Lava: you came in, did your work, you got paid.
• 36:58
  Joel Lava: No, because in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
• 37:01
  Joel Lava: Where we worked was with a bunch of extremely immature people it was very much pre-me too I won't say his name sitting in the back where a bunch of work.
• 37:13
  Joel Lava: One of the was just paging through a magazine and there's what he's like paging.
• 37:17
  Joel Lava: I'm reenacting him and he went dude, this chick is hot.
• 37:21
  Joel Lava: I'm going to go take a shit now.
• 37:23
  Joel Lava: So that was the workplace you were at yeah, I looked good in Paris.
• 37:28
  Rick Costa: Yeah, good job.
• 37:30
  Carmen Lezeth: You were also.
• 37:30
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, I also.
• 37:31
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, it was also a bunch of boys, it was all men, you know.
• 37:36
  Carmen Lezeth: And so there was also that part of it, too, where I was always acting like the mom, even though that's not what I intended to do, but there was a lot of caretaking that had to.
• 37:45
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 37:47
  Carmen Lezeth: Like there was a lot of people always needing help with something.
• 37:50
  Carmen Lezeth: So, Daniel, a matter of high versus low maintenance, right yeah?
• 37:56
  Joel Lava: It was a company with a bunch of cocky, wealthy young 20-somethings without an HR department.
• 38:05
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, joel Irons, sharpen's Iron what I don't know what that means.
• 38:10
  Rick Costa: I know what that is it's a Bible verse actually.
• 38:12
  Carmen Lezeth: It's a biblical thing.
• 38:14
  Joel Lava: No, that's game of thrills, just kidding.
• 38:16
  Joel Lava: The game of thrills.
• 38:17
  Carmen Lezeth: Well, I was the HR, I was everything but the creative.
• 38:21
  Carmen Lezeth: That was the whole point.
• 38:22
  Carmen Lezeth: But we didn't enforce anything because it was a little boys club and yeah.
• 38:28
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, we can talk about that later too.
• 38:32
  Joel Lava: It's something, yeah.
• 38:33
  Joel Lava: So like, here's the thing, I have time for my kids, for myself and my friends, and there's just not much time left for anything else At this point in my life.
• 38:42
  Carmen Lezeth: No, you do have time.
• 38:43
  Carmen Lezeth: You're going to go play whatever some game tomorrow at lunch.
• 38:46
  Joel Lava: You do have time, yeah, but it's taking all my contrary action Like I don't want to do it, but I'm forcing myself to.
• 38:54
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, force yourself to do it.
• 38:55
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, rosalie, you guys were babies back then.
• 38:58
  Carmen Lezeth: I was the mature on point person.
• 39:01
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm just going to say that straight up because I had to be and it took me a long time to really accept the fact of how much of a burden the business end was put on me.
• 39:13
  Carmen Lezeth: Like now that I'm older and I can reflect back, I realize I did so much for Brand New School like ridiculous amount of work for Brand New School and it angers me now that I didn't do better for myself while I was there.
• 39:29
  Carmen Lezeth: I was really taking advantage of there but I didn't know any better.
• 39:32
  Carmen Lezeth: So yeah, we were babies back then.
• 39:35
  Rick Costa: It sounds like you kept the wheels turning.
• 39:38
  Joel Lava: Yeah, ash said you make time when you want it, and that's exactly right.
• 39:41
  Joel Lava: I don't want it, but I need it.
• 39:42
  Joel Lava: I'm forcing myself to.
• 39:45
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, I don't know.
• 39:47
  Joel Lava: This is how I'm looking at dating, and I know this is not a good way to look at it.
• 39:50
  Joel Lava: It's like an ice bath.
• 39:53
  Carmen Lezeth: Oh God, I can't keep doing this with him.
• 39:56
  Carmen Lezeth: I want to hit him so badly.
• 39:58
  Carmen Lezeth: Ok, explain yourself.
• 40:00
  Joel Lava: Do you want me to call in, like what?
• 40:02
  Carmen Lezeth: No, no, no, no, no.
• 40:03
  Carmen Lezeth: It's OK.
• 40:03
  Carmen Lezeth: It's OK, no, no.
• 40:05
  Carmen Lezeth: I just want you to tell me what you mean by the ice bath thing, like so you want to get in it, but it's really really cool.
• 40:12
  Joel Lava: No, it's something that you don't want to do and it's not enjoyable, but you're happy, you did it afterwards.
• 40:17
  Joel Lava: So take that.
• 40:18
  Joel Lava: Ladies, get my phone number.
• 40:20
  Joel Lava: I'm ready to go, which is on his website, by the way.
• 40:27
  Carmen Lezeth: That was like.
• 40:27
  Carmen Lezeth: That was like a set of actual cell phone.
• 40:30
  Carmen Lezeth: It's on your website.
• 40:31
  Carmen Lezeth: I thought that was interesting.
• 40:33
  Rick Costa: Yeah, I saw that too.
• 40:35
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm just glad you're putting yourself out there.
• 40:37
  Joel Lava: Well, the same reason I would need it Hold on a second.
• 40:40
  Carmen Lezeth: We've got to read it.
• 40:40
  Carmen Lezeth: Why would you need something you don't want?
• 40:42
  Carmen Lezeth: Nothing wrong with being single.
• 40:44
  Joel Lava: Well, for instance, it's like working out.
• 40:46
  Joel Lava: I don't we don't always want to work out, but we feel good once we're kind of doing it and definitely after.
• 40:52
  Carmen Lezeth: That's what we talked about working out and eating right.
• 40:55
  Carmen Lezeth: We had a good conversation about that recently too.
• 40:57
  Carmen Lezeth: We were going back and forth about that.
• 40:59
  Joel Lava: There's a lot of things that are good for us, that we don't necessarily want to do, but we make ourselves so just like eating healthy and working out.
• 41:06
  Joel Lava: For me, that includes dating.
• 41:09
  Carmen Lezeth: OK.
• 41:09
  Carmen Lezeth: Well, I think you need to date because you need to get your mojo back.
• 41:13
  Carmen Lezeth: I think there's a different thing, like what are you doing?
• 41:15
  Carmen Lezeth: You know?
• 41:16
  Carmen Lezeth: Can I tell you one of?
• 41:16
  Joel Lava: my mojos that I forgot.
• 41:18
  Carmen Lezeth: I lost.
• 41:19
  Joel Lava: Tell me.
• 41:19
  Joel Lava: So they're over the course of my 20s, when I really was dating, I didn't always take this tack, but when I first started I didn't even have the confidence to do this.
• 41:31
  Joel Lava: But I didn't necessarily even say this, but I had the ethos of if, as soon as I meet someone, you say, hey, we're going to go out Friday, I'll pick you up at eight, wear something sexy, like just that way, versus because that that's.
• 41:48
  Joel Lava: That's a track that works, especially in your 20s.
• 41:50
  Joel Lava: You're not in your 20s anymore.
• 41:51
  Joel Lava: You don't remember what you were like.
• 41:52
  Joel Lava: But instead of being like, hey, what are you doing?
• 41:56
  Joel Lava: Are you free?
• 41:56
  Joel Lava: Maybe would you like to go out sometime?
• 41:58
  Joel Lava: But like that kind of people don't like that.
• 42:01
  Carmen Lezeth: The alpha male like All mom right there with you.
• 42:06
  Joel Lava: It's called FWB.
• 42:08
  Carmen Lezeth: I say just have fun and enjoy yourself.
• 42:10
  Carmen Lezeth: It sounds like you're near a friend with Ben, someone who is just as busy as you but understands the rules without all the complications.
• 42:15
  Carmen Lezeth: To which I say what I'm trying to explain to him, but he doesn't listen.
• 42:21
  Joel Lava: Hold on, do you think I don't know that?
• 42:23
  Joel Lava: That's exactly what I need.
• 42:25
  Joel Lava: You don't just walk outside and scream it and they all pop out.
• 42:29
  Carmen Lezeth: Joel is the new Austin Joel powers.
• 42:34
  Joel Lava: The person up north that I might meet through the app would be a FWB.
• 42:38
  Joel Lava: It's already been written.
• 42:41
  Joel Lava: Do you need contracts now and stuff when you date someone?
• 42:45
  Carmen Lezeth: No, you don't.
• 42:45
  Carmen Lezeth: I've explained this before because people are always like Carmen, why are you still single?
• 42:51
  Carmen Lezeth: Because I don't want all of that.
• 42:54
  Carmen Lezeth: I do have friends with benefits.
• 42:57
  Carmen Lezeth: We can talk later about what that means and how I do it, but I've always had that I have two specific friends, two guy friends.
• 43:05
  Carmen Lezeth: There's no rules or whatever, but there are rules there are rules you have to talk about, but there's nothing you write down or whatever, just NDAs.
• 43:16
  Joel Lava: I was thinking, do you say I think it was on Larry David, he touched on it.
• 43:20
  Joel Lava: It was like I now would like to take your panties off and I would like to slide my hand between your legs.
• 43:27
  Joel Lava: New consent to this.
• 43:30
  Carmen Lezeth: Hey, this is a family show.
• 43:31
  Carmen Lezeth: Bring it down, bring it down or not.
• 43:34
  Joel Lava: I say that with joy.
• 43:36
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah.
• 43:37
  Joel Lava: Joy makes it better.
• 43:39
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, with joy, makes it better I lived in it.
• 43:43
  Joel Lava: I thought, joy meant like-.
• 43:45
  Carmen Lezeth: You're such a dork To you by too much info Exactly.
• 43:48
  Carmen Lezeth: Thank you, daniel.
• 43:49
  Carmen Lezeth: Look, I think you're in a place where you need to do this and that totally makes sense.
• 43:54
  Carmen Lezeth: I think what Ash was saying earlier is I'm under the belief that you know, unfortunately, I think most of my friends who have gotten married end up in divorce.
• 44:05
  Carmen Lezeth: I only have a few friends that I knew the minute they got married or they were dating, that it would last forever.
• 44:11
  Carmen Lezeth: And they're still together, and they've been together since high school.
• 44:14
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 44:15
  Carmen Lezeth: So wait, what are people saying?
• 44:17
  Carmen Lezeth: All kinds of joy.
• 44:18
  Carmen Lezeth: My precious ears see.
• 44:21
  Carmen Lezeth: Some of our people are freaking out.
• 44:22
  Carmen Lezeth: Friends with benefits is better you got to find the right people who can handle it.
• 44:28
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, but here's the thing too, joel.
• 44:30
  Carmen Lezeth: You might think that's what you want, but you don't know, and I think it's good that you're putting yourself out there to figure it out.
• 44:36
  Joel Lava: I don't think a lot of people can handle Spencer's benefits.
• 44:38
  Joel Lava: I think that really what I need is the most cliche thing is literally I need to join a club and start new hobbies and just experience life by doing new things.
• 44:52
  Joel Lava: But that's so cliche, but it's true.
• 44:55
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, I think you do need to put yourself out there, and I'm glad you are.
• 44:59
  Carmen Lezeth: I just I don't know if the apps I'm not.
• 45:01
  Carmen Lezeth: I've been done with the apps for about 20 years.
• 45:04
  Carmen Lezeth: Hey, brian, how are you?
• 45:06
  Carmen Lezeth: Good evening everyone.
• 45:08
  Carmen Lezeth: And Carmen.
• 45:09
  Carmen Lezeth: Oh my God, this is my nemesis.
• 45:11
  Rick Costa: Brian from Texas.
• 45:13
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, okay, joel, what else you got?
• 45:16
  Joel Lava: I'm from Texas.
• 45:17
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, but you're from Austin, a good part of Texas, the only part of Texas anyone would want to step foot in.
• 45:23
  Carmen Lezeth: He's from another part of Texas, Houston, I believe Blah and you left Texas.
• 45:30
  Carmen Lezeth: And okay, I have a question for you, because Brian go lose his shit.
• 45:36
  Carmen Lezeth: Do you think Texas is better than California?
• 45:40
  Joel Lava: Oh my God, I mean again.
• 45:42
  Joel Lava: I grew up in a blue Texas with Democratic governors and senators and Richards, barbara Jordan, so that Texas was definitely better than California.
• 45:53
  Joel Lava: But now, I mean now Texas is like freaking Afghanistan.
• 45:57
  Joel Lava: It's horrible.
• 45:59
  Carmen Lezeth: Right, Okay, thank you.
• 46:00
  Carmen Lezeth: Brian's gonna lose his shit later, so it's all good, he's gonna start typing really bad.
• 46:04
  Carmen Lezeth: He always fights with me about the Red Sox and about Houston and about Texas and hating Los Angeles, so whatever that's his thing, he's my nemesis.
• 46:15
  Carmen Lezeth: You know Bobby Flay, Texas.
• 46:17
  Carmen Lezeth: Who's Bobby Flay?
• 46:18
  Carmen Lezeth: Am I supposed to know who that is?
• 46:20
  Rick Costa: I've noticed that a lot of people that have acted for a while and then they stopped, they're like now I wanna be a director.
• 46:26
  Rick Costa: Why do you think that might be?
• 46:29
  Carmen Lezeth: Cause they're crazy.
• 46:30
  Joel Lava: Well because they're crazy?
• 46:31
  Joel Lava: Oh Cause it's more creative control, I think.
• 46:34
  Joel Lava: Cause if you've acted for a while and you feel like you're in command of your craft, you naturally wanna expand that to a larger creative vision, which would mean directing.
• 46:44
  Carmen Lezeth: But if they wanna do it doesn't mean that they're good at it.
• 46:46
  Carmen Lezeth: It's kind of like when Whitney Houston, amazing singer, decided that she would do some acting and as much as I love her and love that movie horrible acting, I don't care what anyone says.
• 46:57
  Carmen Lezeth: The bodyguard it's a great, fun movie, but she's not an actress, you know.
• 47:02
  Carmen Lezeth: But I think everybody thinks they can direct but they don't understand.
• 47:08
  Carmen Lezeth: It's really hard.
• 47:09
  Carmen Lezeth: Being a director is a hard job.
• 47:12
  Carmen Lezeth: You gotta be really good at it.
• 47:14
  Rick Costa: If somebody wanted to pursue that, what would you suggest?
• 47:17
  Joel Lava: Well, keep plugging away.
• 47:20
  Carmen Lezeth: Don't do it Don't do it, don't do it, don't do it.
• 47:22
  Joel Lava: Wow, no, but seriously if you've never directed, yeah, just grab your iPhone and set up, just do like a two minute dialogue scene or anything, but just keep it really simple and really short so that you're not overwhelmed and never completes and just kind of build up from there.
• 47:39
  Joel Lava: And I also think and I didn't do this this is great advice for anyone in any artistic field.
• 47:45
  Joel Lava: I think is literally copy something you admire.
• 47:48
  Joel Lava: Literally, when you're learning to draw, you're copying like comic books, you're copying exactly what your favorite.
• 47:55
  Joel Lava: So if you're directing, literally recreate your favorite scene shot for shot, same camera angles, same everything.
• 48:02
  Joel Lava: Storyboard it out first like a scene from Indiana Jones or something.
• 48:06
  Joel Lava: Take like a one minute sequence, storyboard it out first, then shoot it shot for shot.
• 48:12
  Carmen Lezeth: If you think everyone knows what a storyboard is, people don't know what a storyboard is.
• 48:16
  Joel Lava: All right.
• 48:16
  Joel Lava: Well then, let's just say just shoot it shot for shot.
• 48:18
  Joel Lava: Try and put the camera in the exact same positions in the actors, and you'll be thinking and seeing it how that director did.
• 48:24
  Joel Lava: So that's literally the best way to learn.
• 48:26
  Joel Lava: I'm not saying to create original work, but to learn.
• 48:31
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, too adorable.
• 48:32
  Carmen Lezeth: Do you write scripts, Joe?
• 48:34
  Joel Lava: I've tried, and that's part of the reason why I'm not David Fincher yet, because I don't have anything.
• 48:39
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, all right, cool.
• 48:41
  Carmen Lezeth: I love telling stories.
• 48:43
  Carmen Lezeth: I think telling stories is great.
• 48:45
  Carmen Lezeth: I think writing them down and having someone act them out.
• 48:48
  Carmen Lezeth: I think people are confused how hard it is to create a movie Like people, and then I think Rick is learning that.
• 48:56
  Carmen Lezeth: Right, rick, you're starting to get a flavor, because I keep forcing you.
• 49:00
  Carmen Lezeth: Well, it's not just me, but I'm like that's not how it works.
• 49:03
  Rick Costa: I have a natural curiosity anyway, and I don't think people realize how many people are involved.
• 49:08
  Rick Costa: They just see what you see in the screen, but there's so many more people behind the scenes.
• 49:12
  Rick Costa: People don't think about that.
• 49:14
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, and people, you should always watch the credits, because if you would watch the credits, especially like on a Marvel movie, I mean, it's thousands of people that made this one piece of art.
• 49:25
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, ryan says I've always wanted to be a stunt performer, especially Jackie Chan's team.
• 49:30
  Carmen Lezeth: Well, maybe I'll have my friend, who's a stunt double, on here.
• 49:34
  Carmen Lezeth: That's a good idea, brian.
• 49:35
  Carmen Lezeth: Maybe I'll do that for you so that he could be on here.
• 49:37
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, no, I am not delusional enough to think I could ever be a director.
• 49:44
  Carmen Lezeth: It's not what I ever wanted to do, but I am fascinated by storytelling and possibly taking one of my stories and making it into a film, like having somebody do that.
• 49:54
  Carmen Lezeth: So that's kind of what I'm thinking of in the future.
• 49:58
  Carmen Lezeth: But, yeah, I would never take that on.
• 50:01
  Carmen Lezeth: I think it's so much work, like on a whole other level, not my thing.
• 50:06
  Rick Costa: Thomas said yes, always amazed at how many companies are used to do the special effects.
• 50:10
  Carmen Lezeth: yeah, Brian's making fun of me.
• 50:12
  Carmen Lezeth: You have patience to be a director.
• 50:14
  Carmen Lezeth: I do not say I feel the same way.
• 50:17
  Carmen Lezeth: Well, we've hit the hour mark, which is usually when we cut off our show.
• 50:21
  Carmen Lezeth: Is Ted on right now?
• 50:22
  Carmen Lezeth: I can check, he was here, but Brian, I have no patience for you, wow.
• 50:28
  Carmen Lezeth: Well, you're right, I really don't have patience.
• 50:33
  Carmen Lezeth: I know what my weaknesses are, and I think that's kind of the difference between a lot of people is I'm not confused by my strengths and my weaknesses.
• 50:42
  Rick Costa: Well, a director, just to bring some more simplicity.
• 50:45
  Rick Costa: As you're filming, the director really is the head, honcho, the chief.
• 50:51
  Carmen Lezeth: Did you think I was lying to you I?
• 50:53
  Rick Costa: just want to hear from Joel.
• 50:54
  Joel Lava: I'm just bringing clarity to people that want to understand, I would say yes, yeah, I mean.
• 51:00
  Joel Lava: Obviously, if it's a commercial, you're really the clients call the ultimate shots, for instance, and on some movies the actor or the studio may be overly influential, but in a vacuum, yes, on a set, the director is the head honcho.
• 51:16
  Carmen Lezeth: Steven Spielberg is the head of his film, without a doubt.
• 51:20
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 51:20
  Carmen Lezeth: Like, when you get to that place, there's not going to be no studio, no client, nobody going to be telling Steven Spielberg.
• 51:27
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what?
• 51:27
  Carmen Lezeth: We don't like the blue, we prefer green.
• 51:30
  Carmen Lezeth: He going to be like it's going to be blue.
• 51:31
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean?
• 51:33
  Joel Lava: No one's going to say blue.
• 51:34
  Joel Lava: For instance, chloe Zhao did the Eternals after she did the movie with Frances McDormand pooping in a van and apparently, as I understand it, she a lot of the action sequences were already planned out.
• 51:50
  Joel Lava: They did animatics and stuff.
• 51:52
  Joel Lava: So a lot of that stuff was done regardless of that.
• 51:57
  Joel Lava: She was directing it.
• 51:58
  Joel Lava: So there's divisions of labor like that.
• 52:02
  Joel Lava: They hire someone like Chloe to try to bring more humanity to the story, but for action sequences and a lot of stuff a lot of decisions were already being made without her.
• 52:11
  Carmen Lezeth: I wouldn't want that.
• 52:12
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, would you want that, joe?
• 52:13
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, if you're going to direct a film, right, okay, yeah, I can't even imagine you'd want that, yeah.
• 52:19
  Joel Lava: Now I don't know specifically how true that is at all True, that is, yeah, it doesn't make sense.
• 52:24
  Carmen Lezeth: It doesn't make sense, yeah.
• 52:26
  Joel Lava: Because there's one, these Marvel movies.
• 52:27
  Joel Lava: You know, at least up until now they've just been churning them out.
• 52:30
  Joel Lava: So they're already doing Look Dev, which is developing looks of the news, whatever they're doing, animatics, which is doing digital sequences before they shoot them as a guide.
• 52:41
  Joel Lava: So they're just going forward before a lot of the details and players are locked in, like actors and directors and everything.
• 52:49
  Carmen Lezeth: Right, right Now, that makes sense, huh, okay, well, I mean, rick, do you have any more questions for him about film?
• 52:57
  Carmen Lezeth: I was having much more fun with all the other stuff, but we don't have you on the show again.
• 53:01
  Joel Lava: You owe me another one.
• 53:02
  Joel Lava: I feel like I failed you.
• 53:04
  Carmen Lezeth: I am going to have a sweetie.
• 53:06
  Carmen Lezeth: What is wrong with you?
• 53:07
  Joel Lava: Not at all.
• 53:08
  Joel Lava: Oh, because I was talking about like bad things and ways that kids can't hear it.
• 53:14
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, I just want to say this Rick, you know me well enough now.
• 53:19
  Carmen Lezeth: Do you see why I adore this man?
• 53:21
  Carmen Lezeth: You get me right, but he's completely clueless, Like it's so funny.
• 53:27
  Carmen Lezeth: Joel, I adore you, I think you're a sweetheart.
• 53:31
  Carmen Lezeth: I want you to come back on the show when we have your internet better and you know what I mean and you're a w.
• 53:37
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, I'm not gonna lie to you.
• 53:38
  Carmen Lezeth: I saw how you reacted when you saw people on LinkedIn jumping on and I know you're like, no, it's fine, whatever, but I want you, now that you know, I want you to come back on the show and we can have another.
• 53:50
  Carmen Lezeth: And maybe you can come on with some other people, like when we have Tony on or Andrea would be fun to have you on with her, and maybe Rosalie will come on.
• 53:57
  Carmen Lezeth: That would be fun.
• 53:59
  Joel Lava: For the record, I offered to go to your place and sit with you for this, so I know, I know, I know.
• 54:05
  Carmen Lezeth: You did offer that, and that was like clearly you didn't see the show, you don't have to be here, but we can do that too, so it's all good.
• 54:12
  Rick Costa: Brian's got a question.
• 54:13
  Rick Costa: He said what's your main specialty that you like to direct?
• 54:16
  Joel Lava: Well, that's a very layered question because I've like been pigeonholed into some things and I want to move out.
• 54:23
  Joel Lava: So what I want to do versus what I do and can.
• 54:26
  Joel Lava: But I mean I want to direct, like I would love to do like an action comedy.
• 54:30
  Joel Lava: So there's like because to me, a great action comedy like Midnight Run has funny parts, it has heartwarming parts, it has action, so I would like to do all of that.
• 54:41
  Joel Lava: I mean I love, I love choreography, whether it's dancing or fighting action kind of stuff.
• 54:47
  Joel Lava: I love that.
• 54:48
  Joel Lava: That's also fun.
• 54:49
  Joel Lava: And music videos.
• 54:50
  Joel Lava: But yeah, I want to do something that has emotion and humanity in it, like emotional pull, but it doesn't mean I want to do terms of endearment, you know.
• 55:02
  Carmen Lezeth: Right, can you direct me, joel, that's your boy or no?
• 55:07
  Carmen Lezeth: That's funny, do you?
• 55:10
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, you do commercials, but that's just this next level.
• 55:15
  Carmen Lezeth: Right, that's not ultimate you want to do, but the commercials you do.
• 55:18
  Carmen Lezeth: What I love about them is that they're storytelling Like you.
• 55:21
  Carmen Lezeth: Actually, you can tell the difference.
• 55:23
  Carmen Lezeth: You're not selling, you're not just selling, you're actually telling a story, you know, until they're like mini films.
• 55:30
  Joel Lava: That's what I like about the stuff you're doing and the best case scenario yeah, I mean 30, a great commercial is like a 30 second story, which is actually pretty hard to do when you got to pack so much in.
• 55:40
  Joel Lava: And that comes from the writing, though.
• 55:43
  Joel Lava: I mean commercials are obviously very collaborative with clients and writers and directors and creative directors, but yeah, they're like mini poems.
• 55:52
  Carmen Lezeth: Right, you can direct the comedy of Carmen and.
• 55:55
  Joel Lava: I'll be the editor.
• 55:55
  Joel Lava: I'll do that.
• 55:56
  Joel Lava: Let's do it.
• 55:56
  Joel Lava: Let's take it.
• 55:57
  Joel Lava: Oh my God.
• 55:59
  Carmen Lezeth: I would just hit him.
• 56:00
  Carmen Lezeth: It would just mean hitting him over and over and over again, right.
• 56:05
  Joel Lava: I like stuff like this.
• 56:06
  Joel Lava: As a director, though, I would make that an engaging story.
• 56:10
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what you actually would?
• 56:11
  Carmen Lezeth: Oh, yeah, he would.
• 56:13
  Carmen Lezeth: He would.
• 56:13
  Carmen Lezeth: Daniel says I had drama honors in high school and did drama in college as well.
• 56:17
  Carmen Lezeth: Oh, you're still about acting.
• 56:18
  Carmen Lezeth: So you know he's not an actor, right, but you do a lot of casting, right?
• 56:24
  Carmen Lezeth: Do you get involved in the casting aspects of things, joel?
• 56:29
  Joel Lava: Oh yeah, For sure.
• 56:30
  Joel Lava: Like auditions and the way it works in the commercial world is you do the auditions and you let them know which lines and how to say it.
• 56:39
  Joel Lava: Then I pick my top five and then I also do my recommendations and I usually get like 50% of the time.
• 56:49
  Carmen Lezeth: Right.
• 56:49
  Carmen Lezeth: But then the client says, oh, we need, we want this person or whatever.
• 56:53
  Carmen Lezeth: Then that kind of sometimes sucks if it's not your person, right yeah.
• 56:57
  Joel Lava: Because that's commercial.
• 56:58
  Joel Lava: Occasionally they'll pick someone that I can tell won't do well or it'll be hard to direct, and then you get on set and they don't have the range.
• 57:05
  Joel Lava: That's why they weren't my choice, and but you have to make it work.
• 57:09
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, I hate commercial acting.
• 57:11
  Carmen Lezeth: You really.
• 57:12
  Carmen Lezeth: I lost an agent because I told them not doing any more commercials.
• 57:16
  Carmen Lezeth: I was great doing commercials for voiceover acting that I was great at, but I hated going in because it was.
• 57:23
  Carmen Lezeth: It was such a quick turnaround, right.
• 57:26
  Carmen Lezeth: You find out that day that you have an audition for a commercial and then go and you see the storyboards and I am not that person.
• 57:34
  Carmen Lezeth: I need time with the material.
• 57:36
  Carmen Lezeth: I am totally like I need.
• 57:39
  Carmen Lezeth: It's hard to do commercial acting and I say bravo to all my friends who've made money doing commercials.
• 57:45
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm so proud of that, you know, especially during the strike.
• 57:49
  Carmen Lezeth: But yeah, I made my money doing voiceover work and I'm so grateful that's when I made my money and I was doing voiceover work when I was at Brandy's school I bet you didn't know that Of course.
• 58:00
  Carmen Lezeth: You were doing your directing and I was doing my voiceover stuff.
• 58:03
  Carmen Lezeth: All right, I feel like your internet's getting better.
• 58:07
  Joel Lava: Yeah.
• 58:07
  Carmen Lezeth: Is that weird when we're done?
• 58:10
  Joel Lava: That's Murphy's law.
• 58:11
  Carmen Lezeth: It is Murphy's law, all right.
• 58:12
  Carmen Lezeth: Well, everyone, I am going to cut this off, but thank you so much for stopping by.
• 58:16
  Carmen Lezeth: I appreciate, joel.
• 58:17
  Carmen Lezeth: I adore you, I do, and I'm glad you came on here.
• 58:20
  Carmen Lezeth: Wait, are you going to promise me that you're going to come back on?
• 58:23
  Carmen Lezeth: I want it recorded.
• 58:25
  Joel Lava: I promise.
• 58:26
  Rick Costa: Okay, cool All right, yeah, I think we scratched the surface.
• 58:29
  Rick Costa: We got more.
• 58:29
  Rick Costa: We got more.
• 58:32
  Carmen Lezeth: And we want his internet working really well so that we can really get into it.
• 58:35
  Carmen Lezeth: All right, everyone Bye.
• 58:37
  Carmen Lezeth: Thank you so much.
• 58:38
  Carmen Lezeth: See you soon.
• 58:39
  Carmen Lezeth: Bye, Brian.
• 58:40
  Joel Lava: Thank you, it was an honor and a pleasure.
• 58:44
  Carmen Lezeth: Thanks for stopping by.
• 58:44
  Carmen Lezeth: All about the joy Be better and stay beautiful.
• 58:47
  Carmen Lezeth: Folks have a sweet day.