Latest / Adrian Milag Podcast / From Kate to Diego? How JESUS CHANGED My Life After 6 Years as a Trans Woman

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From Kate to Diego? How JESUS CHANGED My Life After 6 Years as a Trans Woman · Adrian Milag Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: How it progressed to being a transgender.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_01: People said that he's a god of love, so he will do it, right?
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_01: Because he loves me.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_01: As I start asking for that, I start praying for God, please wake me up as a woman, wake me as a girl.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_01: I want to be a girl.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to be a boy.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_01: And so, of course, within time this doesn't this didn't happen.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I started having these thoughts in my head that I know now that were.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: You became Kate Areland, right?
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_02: Your identity became Kate Arelan.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: Of like, I'm sorry, you you even though you're so gorgeous, you cannot give me kids.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: And and and all the things that I was going through, it's like, man, I'm gonna it hit me every night.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: It was haunting me and hunting me.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: I started crying so bad.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: And he's like, Are you okay?
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, I I'm just not feeling good, you know.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: I knew what God wanted me to do.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: I knew what God, you know, like he know I know I knew he loves me, but at the same time, the thoughts of like if you come to him, you're gonna have to leave everything.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: So, how's the transition uh started?
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: My sister called me the next day.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_01: I had a horrible trip in that in that that night with my mushrooms.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: It was bad, it was bad.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: I saw demons, it was bad, but my sister called me the next day, very random, and I had this conviction of like I can't keep living like the same sex attraction, you still feel it in your flesh.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: I was obsessed with men, and now you know it's like after a year and a half got working on me and like pouring a lot on me.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: I've become to the point where I'm not, you know, I will not say that I'm fully out of, you know, like the attraction of men.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome, brother Diego Adelanto, our program historian catholico.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_02: What a great honor! Thank you for saying yes.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_01: Of course, thank you, thank you for the invitation.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_01: It's a pleasure to be here and share the gospel one more time, amen.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_02: So you're the founder of the King Apparel, right?
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, we yes, I am the founder of the King.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: Actually, I'm wearing right now one of the t-shirts.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: Oh wow, yeah, that's beautiful.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's it's it's it's been amazing.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: I haven't I never thought I was gonna be making um uh clothing or none of these things, but you know, when God speaks to you, you just have to go for it and be obedient and trust him on the process.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, of course.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: So the king, we sell uh a lot of merch in Christian merch, you know, like um hoodies, t-shirts.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_01: We're trying to implement more stuff like Bibles and hats and things like that.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: But for right now, we're doing with hoodies and t-shirts and see how that's going so far.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um, the king has been open for almost a year now, and God is being blessing it because you know, we're able to share the gospel through these designs.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I love to draw, I love to design.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: So this is an amazing opportunity got opened uh for me.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's how it all started.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I seriously was like when I gave my life to Jesus, um, you know, God didn't want me to work because um, and I, you know, because I was very uh obsessed with working.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_01: Like I work um when I was in the work world, I work from 9 a.m.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_01: to like 10 p.m.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: or so, like and I wanted it so much to work because I make so much money.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_01: Like I make a lot of money, and so I was obsessed with it.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: That was my idol for so many years.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_01: And so when guy was like save me, he's like, Oh, you're not gonna work.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, what?
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: Because this is not easy, and I and I know this can sound crazy for people be like, oh, how guy can tell you not to work?
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: What do you mean?
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but my idol was that, and so it took me a lot of time to evade him on that area because I was like, I cannot do that, I cannot do that.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but then I I lay it on the on his hands, and he's been providing, you know, and that's how the king was born.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_01: Um, after not being able to work for a while, God spoke to me, you're gonna do this to me, you're gonna do this for for for me now, and you're gonna be working for me now.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: And so everything I do now is for his glory, like everything, my business, amen, uh, the platforms I I use, everything.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_01: So it's been amazing.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_02: The king apparel is currently available in America only, or it's so international.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: Right now we are on America only, but we should be having um international probably during this week or so.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: So we are very excited for that because I've been receiving people say, like, oh, we want to you know order from different countries.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: So that's why we want to implement that.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: So we'll we have faith that the law will make that smoothly so um we can super everywhere around.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, probably our Filipino Filipinos will love that.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, we we we like uh Christian merch.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_01: Merch of Jesus.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_01: That's because that's your that's who you want to show you know to everyone around.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_01: So like that's always okay.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: Praise God.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_02: Brother Diego, you're former trans woman and your testimony was so powerful and it changed people's lives because of the grace of God and uh redemption of Christ.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_02: Your journey uh began with deep pain after losing your father at young age.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, of course.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: So um, you know, since I was a little kid, we uh had an ame I had an amazing childhood, you know.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um before my dad passed away, um, we were very, very united.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_01: Like we we did a lot of things together as a family and going on trips every weekend.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_01: It was amazing.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: I loved it.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but when my dad passed away, um a lot of things, you know, went apart.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: We were so separated.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: My mom entered a huge depression.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um, my brother pretty much he left the house, so he wasn't with us anymore.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: And so it was only my sister and I.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I believe that that's when things start to happen.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, for me to be confused.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: Why?
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: Because the enemy, and I say this before, you know, the enemy does not wait.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: If you are five years old, if you are 10 or 20 or 30, he does not care about your age.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: He will come and destroy because that's his purpose, right?
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so during that time that my my dad passed away, my mom into huge depression.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_01: I was exposed to sexual stuff in my school.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um, yes, it was it was bad because um with one of my classmates actually, um, he showed me his part and I was so confused because I was like, what are you what is he trying to do?
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: Or what because I was very innocent.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we were talking about Akida, he's like six or seven, so had no clue of what he was trying to do.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: And um, but you know, within time, things happen um where I was really exposed to it.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um in to the point where like I liked it.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_01: Why?
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_01: Because I wanted to have the attention of him of that person because I didn't receive it anywhere else than in him, you know, because in my house it was like all chaos.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_01: So that's how it all started.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and that's how my life got confused even more because I was so exposed to this stuff since I was a kid.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I wasn't able to share it to anybody because my mom was in her own world, and so was my my family.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um so it kept I kept it into my in my in my life, in my mind, and it started growing.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's like when you plant a seed and it starts growing and growing and growing.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_01: That's how the enemies start working in my life and giving me that confusion.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_02: Uh so during back uh back then when you're you're still a child, uh you're you're not uh I mean you don't feel something different.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, uh has a uh feel like you're a woman, something like that, uh Jago.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, so um well since I was a kid, I uh and and after this events happening, um yes, immediately I was like, I want to be a woman, why?
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I know this is kind of like why why would you think that?
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_01: Uh because I see I see the attention the girls received in my school because I I see the attention that my sister received uh at home more than me.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: That's when things a lot a lot of things starting to change for me because I didn't have the attention as I mentioned before, and I see that my sister and all on the female side received more attention than as when you're a boy and when you're and you're a man, um, we don't receive that much.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's why that's why um the enemy started attacking me.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_01: And after, of course, you know, having that encounter with this boy of my class, I was even more confused.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_01: So it was like adding up, you know, like the door was already open, I open it, and so the enemy was already adding up more stuff in me of like, oh, why oh look at this.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, look, look what she has, or like, you know, look the attention that she has, things like that.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's why I started getting more confused.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: And in my mind, it was like, maybe if I become a girl, this will maybe if I would be a girl, this will never happen to me, or I wouldn't, I wouldn't be in this spot where I'm feeling lonely pretty much.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: And so I didn't, you know, think deeper because I was still a kid, so so I was just like just letting trying to connect this the dots and things like that.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_01: But now that I'm that I've grown and I know how this world works, now I know deeply that all I wanted was the attention of my parents or the attention because that's what you need as a kid, you need that, it's essential.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_02: And also the father figure that is very important uh in in your growing growing years, how it progressed to being a transgender.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, after years of letting that seed grow in my in my mind, in my heart, uh I mean, like I've we've grew up Christians.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: Well, we were Catholic in the beginning.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_01: Oh with my mom.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, um, and then we became Christians.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but the thing is that no matter what religion you are, if you don't know and you don't experience Jesus and you don't experience a relationship with him, not if you're Catholic, Christian, uh uh Pentecostal, whatever, whoever you think you identified as, you will not grow.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, you will not grow because you don't you did not experience Jesus at all.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_01: You just experienced what religion is.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_01: That's what happened.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_01: We were more in a religion than a relationship, and so I never got to experience Jesus in my heart.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I grew up with a mindset of like, um, okay, if I need something, I'm gonna go ask God, and then that's it, you know, and then I say thank you for the food and thank you for your probation.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_01: Not not nothing else, that's good.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_01: That's it.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I grew up with that kind of mindset.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so with when time passed and this seed started growing in me of like confusion and confusion, I start asking God, you know, like asking, God, can you make me a woman?
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: Because I was like around eight when I started asking that.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I was like very naive.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_01: I fear this is storings of you know how he used Moses and opened the waters and and all this stuff, all this miracles I was like, yeah.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_01: And as a kid, you are like, wow, that's crazy.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: I wonder if he can do this to me, you know.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_01: And you believe it, you know.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_01: You start, I believe in my heart that God can truly transform me if I ask him.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_01: He said, people said that he's a God of love, so he will do it, right?
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_01: Because he loves me.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_01: As I start asking for that, start praying for God, please wake me up as a woman, wake me as a girl.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: I want to be a girl, I don't want to be a boy.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_01: And so, of course, within time, this doesn't this didn't happen.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I start having these thoughts in my head that I know now that were demonic, demonic thoughts, because I start getting absolutely thoughts of like, yes, of like you see what can what kind of god you serve.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_02: They say he says that he loves you, but having these thoughts, I mean, during that time.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_01: During the time I was eight or night.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_01: I I was already being oppressed by those demons because I've opened the door and nobody could help me because I never shared to anybody.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_01: So um I was going through these thoughts, like this really bad thoughts of like hating God, um, and of like, you know, like he doesn't love you, he doesn't care about you.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_01: And that's when things got even worse because now my relationship with God, who was not really strong, became more and more like separate.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_01: Like we just didn't connect anymore.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't want to pray anymore because he was not listening to my prayers.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, the thought of like he made you this way, he knew that you were gonna struggle with this, and why would he make you suffer if he would have, you know, he's you the Bible says that he's the guy that knows everything and he already knew me or before I was in the womb.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_01: So all these things I started learning, and I'm like, oh my gosh, you know, I was attacked and I didn't know that.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I believed the light of the enemy, and that's the problem that most of people uh that don't truly know God, but they say they are somehow in a in a religion, but they don't truly know God, then the enemy comes and gives them a lie and they believe it because they don't truly know who God is, and that's when they get separated, that's when they start following uh the light of the enemy and thinking that that's the right path.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so that's what happened to me.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_01: So when I moved to America, and that's when things changed.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_01: Because I grew up in Peru, I was born in Peru.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_01: Um, we never talk about nothing about transitioning.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_01: We are a very closed-minded country.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_01: Even right now, we identify transgenders as like mental illness.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_01: So Peru is a conservative country.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um Peru is a very conservative country, yeah.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_01: Oh now, back in those times, back in that time, it was it was more closed-minded than right now.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_01: Right now, they're trying to accept more.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_01: Um even right now, they just classify it as transgender as mental mental illness, you know, as a mental illness.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_01: So, yes, and so you know, growing up in that environment where people are like judging you or looking at you weird because you're acting too feminine.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_01: So I yeah, of course, I was more oppressed.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, I can't share it to anybody.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_01: This is this is this has to be this has to be only for like on me, you know, like I can share it to anyone.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so that's what happened.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I was unable to share it to anybody, not even my family or my friends, and I kept it only to myself.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_01: And so when I moved to America, which I was which I by that time I was 17, um, I finished high school and I moved here to USA.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_01: Things got even worse.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_01: Things got even worse because when I moved here, um I I really genuinely wanted to be a man, you know, like I genuinely wanted to act like a man and and and live alive as a man.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because in Peru I struggle with all these thoughts, and people call me gay all the time, of like, you know, like affirming me my identity and like, oh, you're gay, you're gay, you're gay.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_01: So I start, you know, not only struggling in my mind, but receiving all these things of like you're gay, you're gay.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like all the world in my mind is like attacking me, attacking me.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_01: So I start believing it, you know.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but when I moved here, I was like, I'm gonna start all over.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_01: It's just a fresh start.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_01: Nobody knows who I am, and I'm gonna start to be to become a man, you know, like and I'm gonna be a man, I'm a man.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_01: And so I start dating women and I start working, I start acting family.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_01: But it didn't last, yeah.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_01: I already know it was like I was trying my hardest, but I was doing it without God, you know?
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_01: And you do it without God, man.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_01: You can't win this, you can't win the battle.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_01: So um I started uh doing all these these things.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but the problem is that it didn't last not even a week.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_01: And people start noticing that I was acting too gay, and they start calling me all like all these horrible names.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um and I fell down.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_01: I felt like wow, I'm not worthy.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not worthy, I'm I'm gay.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_01: And so I started believing it.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_01: I started, you know what?
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_01: I am gay, I said to myself, and that's it, and it's okay.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and not even like a day that I said that that I agree on that, uh, the enemy, he also have his own disciples, right?
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: So he also brought these people who live in the LGBT community, and they start influencing me of like accept yourself for who you are.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_01: We live in this country where freedom is, you know, is the is the thing, you know, like it's it's what comes for America where your your dreams come true, where you can be whoever you want to be.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_01: Nobody's gonna judge you.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_01: So it was like, you're right, you know, because here in America is like everything, you can do whatever, you know.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Yeah, you're right.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_01: I am not in Peru anymore.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: And that's when things got that's when the door opened of me becoming a trans woman, of like becoming who I've always wanted to be.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, it is it's a crazy, crazy, it was a crazy beginning.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because as I mentioned, you know, if you have people around you that are in the same circle of like, you know, LGB community and all this horrible stuff, of course you're gonna become one at one point because you're going through this, you know, you're you're surrounded by but but people that follow that.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_01: And so yeah, I started taking the decision, okay, I'm gay, I'm gay.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I start, you know, going to clubs, gay clubs.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_01: I start drinking now, because by this time I was become I was already 18, so I wasn't able to somehow, you know, go in parties and all this stuff.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_01: And so like I start getting introduced to this world of partying, drinking, smoking weed, and all those things.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I loved it.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_01: My flesh loved it.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_01: It was fun, it made me feel amazing.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but the next day, of course, is the worst because you are like all the all the alcohol is gone, all everything is it's just feel miserable, you know?
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_01: And so that was my life for the for the next year until uh I met one of my friends who she became one of my best friends in life.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and she said one day, why don't you become a woman?
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_01: You've always wanted to be one because I've shared all my all my things to her.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_01: And by this time, it's been a year where I was cross-dressing, you know, like at nights I was dressed as a woman, but only at nights.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_01: And it was not often, but you know, I liked it.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_01: I really liked it.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_01: It felt like I was finally free.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but then I had to hide myself, and you know, once morning comes, I had to become a man again.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_01: So then she said to me, like, there's this clinic who offers you everything for free, like, and and you can just go and they'll you give you hormones and you can be yourself.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_01: For free.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, it's not for free.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, no, it's not for free.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_01: It's not for free.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_01: You gotta pay.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_01: But I think that it is free, you have insurance.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, if you get insurance, then they can give you for free.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_01: But I didn't have insurance, so I was like, all right, you know, I work, so I can spend on this too.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_01: So that was how it all started.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_01: Of how I became trans.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_01: Um, um, you know, after saying yes to her, going to this clinic was one of the hardest.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because in my mind, I was like, I read all the instructions of what they're gonna ask me.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_01: And they say that I have to have two letters of two different psychologists, I have to get a lab test to see if my body can resist all these hormones and all other things.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um and I was like, man, this is gonna be hard.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_01: This this is gonna be really hard.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I went there, I make an appointment, and the same day um I went to get more information.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_01: Um, they say, Yeah, your psychologist is ready, she is actually waiting for you.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Wow, I thought that I had to provide my own psychologist.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_01: But so I went without of like, you know, I'm I'm knowing.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um this psychologist was trans woman too.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_01: So it's crazy, you know, because how can someone that you know it's just something very, very sorry for the war, but it's very stupid, you know, like how it's like a blind, you know, testing another blind person.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_01: And it's just like it's just you know, I knew in my heart that this was gonna be easy for me.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_01: So I went, I sit down, and she starts asking me questions of how do I feel how how do I know I'm a trans?
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I start explaining to her, like, oh well, I feel like and I grabbed this way, blah blah blah.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_01: And not even in 30 minutes, and that person said, like, okay, you're ready, like your prescription is gonna come tomorrow, actually.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_01: Uh your nearest farm pharmacy, and I was so in shock.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_01: I was so in shock because I was like, wow, this was so easy, you know, really easy.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_01: The next day passed, and that's when I started.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_01: I saw I was my heart was like I was in so much happiness because you know, by this time, um I've seen so much social media of trans women who who've been transitioning for years and years, and they just they look just like women.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like they don't even you people can even notice that they're men.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_01: And so I wanted to achieve that.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't want to look like uh any other guy who just looked like a you know, like who's trying to pretend, but I wanted to look just like a legit woman, and and that was my goal.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_01: And so I was like in that mindset, I was like, so I was absorbing all this in social media and and at work, you know, like where I all I have my friends that were gays and lesbians, and so I was surrounded by that.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_01: And um, and uh yes, all that they offer you is like, oh, you're gonna love this life, it's gonna be amazing, you're gonna be who you are, you can be with whoever you want to be.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_01: Nobody's gonna judge you or anything.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_01: So I started hormones, and that was when I was already 18, yeah.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_01: And um, and I started taking them.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_01: Now, my mom, she was she was um, she didn't live with us the first year, she was in Karoo.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but then she moved here to America.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_01: So by the time we were alone, I was living with my sister, and like I started doing a lot of crazy stuff.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_01: My sister was in her own world too.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_01: We were pretty much like just getting out of the teenage eras, you know, but like still we were you know very immature.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_01: And so when my mom mom moved here to America, she um she knew that something was going on.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_01: I believe that my sister probably told her.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: What what I was going through.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_01: And when she moved, she stayed in my room uh until she got her own place.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_01: And um she looked everything, you know.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: She found out everything in my room.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_01: Because I was I I I had wigs, I had heels, I had dresses that I hid in, right?
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I never shared this to my mom.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_01: So when she came to visit us, she saw all these things, and I was at work.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_01: So when I came out of work, I see all my stuffs, all my dresses and wigs in the in the bed, you know.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like I was so, so shocked.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_01: My mom looked at me and she was so disappointed.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_01: She was like, she was about like she was crying in that moment, you know.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_01: She was hard.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_01: And she started, you know, telling me, like, what have you done?
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I didn't bring you to this country for this, you know.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_01: So she started crying and crying, and and to be honest, I felt bad, you know.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_01: I felt like I failed her, but at the same time, in my mind, all I could think of was like, it is your life, it's your happiness.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_01: Doesn't matter if you hurt them, it's your happiness, and they have to accept it.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_01: So that's how the enemy works, you know.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_01: He he makes you feel like he's your best friend, and he's giving you the best advice of like, yes, if you do this, you're gonna love it.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_01: But once you do it, he attacks you from that.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_01: He's like, Oh, you're not worth it.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_01: What who do you think you are?
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_01: And all and he becomes your worst enemy.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_01: And so I start telling all these things to my mom, like, you know, mom, it's my happiness, it's my life, and I'm sorry, but if you don't agree, I don't care.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_01: This is my life now.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_01: And so she started crying even more, and within time, she had to not accept it, I believe, but she tolerated.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_01: And yes, that's how it all started.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_01: I had to, you know, when I shared this to my mom, and then I started taking hormones, and that's when life got even crazier than ever.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because by this time I was already two one year in hormones.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_01: Now, hormones, this is one thing about hormones.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_01: They take like about a year or two years to hit into your body.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_01: All right, so you can start seeing the the yes, the changes.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_01: And it affects you a lot in a lot of things that people don't mention it because I don't know why.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_01: They just don't like to share that the consequences of it, they just like to share the good parts of it.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, but the consequences are like you won't be able to have kids anymore.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_01: Fertility is out, right?
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_01: Um, second, you can have cancer, uh breast cancer at any time.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_01: That's very common when you when you take hormone every single day for like years, that can happen a lot.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_01: And block blood and heart attack, and so it's a lot of things that includes with it, but nobody wants to share it because it's not the the beauty, the beauty, the perfect side of it.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_01: So I started hormones, two years in hormones, and after two years, like I started looking more like women and women and women, and that by the third year, by the fourth year, people did not even recognize me anymore that I was that I was trans.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_01: See, for these three years of taking hormones, people were like, Oh, she's trans.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, she's trans.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_01: But the fourth year hit, and people did not recognize me that I was trans anymore.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_01: Now I moved out of the city, I I transitioned.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_01: So I went to this other city um where people didn't even know me, and they all look at me, they were like, Oh, she's she's gorgeous, you know.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_01: And so I start to believe that you know what?
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just a woman.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_01: I am not a trans.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a woman.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_01: And that's when things got even worse.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_01: That's when I that's when things start to come even worse and worse.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_01: Why?
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_01: Because when you take that trance out of your you know identity and you just start believing that you're just a woman, you are getting crazier, you know, because like you will know that there's no way, you know, even if you try whatever you want to in this world, you will never be one, you know, because that's God doesn't make mistakes, and you can change anything that got created.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_01: And so I start believing it, and so I look just like one.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_01: I start having breast domination.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_01: I had breastamentation, I had Botox all over my face.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_01: I get a lot of surgeries.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_01: I was so I was looking just like a woman, and I talk more more like like more like a woman.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_01: I work a lot on my boys.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I started having relationships and I started meeting guys, and they didn't even know that I was trans.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, I be I started having it going into long relationships, and of course, by these long relationships, yeah, they had to know that I was trans.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_01: So um, yeah, and I I was so in love with it.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, finally, you know, this is this is it, this is this feels amazing, I love it.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_01: But see, the happiness the world brings to you is so temporary, is so little comparing to what God can offer you.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_01: And uh, yeah, I had happiness, but it didn't last.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_01: My relationships, they all were so bad at one point because it became toxic, it became to the point where you know they wanted to have kids and I wasn't able to give them, you know, so that started affecting me a lot because now it was not only of like, okay, I want to look pretty, but now I achieved that already.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_01: Now I want to be pregnant, and it's like, okay, okay, I can go there, you know, like I can only hit to the one point, and then after that, that's it, you know.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I start having another relationship, and the same thing happened, like about a year, about a year passed, a year and a half passed, and the guy was like, Oh, I'm sorry, I want to have kids, like I can't be with you.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_01: And this, you know, again of going through the same thing, it starts hitting me a lot of like, okay, I am not worthy.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_01: I am, I, I can't, I am not a woman, I cannot, I cannot do that.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_01: I can't get pregnant.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_01: That's something that not nobody can do.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_01: That, you know, is trans.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_01: And so I start crying, I start going to depression, I start going to anxiety.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_01: And a lot of things happened in that moment because I didn't feel loved anymore.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_01: You know, in my mind, it was like, in order for you to be loved, you have to be a real a real woman.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_01: And so I hated it.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_01: In the community of the LGBT community, it's a community that does that says and spread love and about acceptance.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_01: But in reality, what I went through or my experience personally was like, you know, there is a lot of pride, which is something that they even share LRM.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um, there is a lot of like jealousy, a lot of jealousy.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_01: Like, if you're better than one, they will have so much jealousy about like of you.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_01: And there is not truly love because in reality, and it's not because I'm attacking them, but in reality, if you start thinking deeper, the meaning of transitioning, the meaning of becoming gay is to accept yourself, is to love yourself for who you are.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_01: But in reality, if you go deeper, you're like you are denying yourself, you are denying who you were born and you're believing, you know, like you're thinking, okay, by denying myself, I'm gonna, you know, love my my my other self who I created to be.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_01: So you are just denying yourself, and that's the problem.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_01: When you deny yourself and try to believe some other that you are a different character, you will only go will will become even worse because you know you're denying it.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_01: And it will just depression and anxiety will attack you, demons will come to you and destroy you because you're no longer, you know, closer to God, you're separated and separated and separated, and that's what I was going through.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, you became Kate Arelan, right?
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_02: Your identity became Kate Arelan from Jago now, now Kate.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_02: In your darkest night, as Kate.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_02: So, what deceptive lies from the spiritual realm can be changed.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_01: I remember that one of the things that was really bad for me that I couldn't, you know, handle it anymore at nighttime.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's just crazy in my mind.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_01: Is the the point of like not being able to, you know, not only you know, being have a a real relationship, a stable relationship, because we you know, most of us humans, I'm talking about everybody, not just women or men, but most like all of us, we want to have a partner at one point of our life in our lives.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_01: Now, not everybody, but most of us, right?
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_01: We want to not end up alone.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so that is one of the things that we were creating you know, we were created for that.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we're not created to be alone, we're not created to be isolated, like even in the beginning, it says like, and man was not you know created to be alone, but he got created Eve for that, and so that's one of the things that it was haunting me at night.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's like I'm gonna end up alone, I'm gonna end up so lonely, and I won't be able to to to to resist that, you know.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_01: And it was haunting me every single night, and after having this rejection of men, of like, I'm sorry, you you even that you're so gorgeous, you cannot give me kids, and and and all the things that I was going through, it's like, man, I'm gonna it hit me every night.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_01: It was haunting me and hunting me.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I that's when a lot of things start to get even worse because I believe it.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_01: I believe it in my heart that I was gonna end up alone.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_01: And by the end of my transition of my of my before I met Christ before I met Jesus, I already accepted.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, okay, you know what?
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna end up rich and I'm gonna die alone.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_01: And that's my my destiny.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I already wrote it down and I already believe it.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_01: When you believe what your destiny is gonna be, that's you know, it's gonna happen.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_01: It's gonna happen because you're believing it.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_01: You're you're have you're just on that that's that what the enemy wants you to believe.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's what that was my my I feel like the worst thing that you know um I went through in that season of my life.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_02: But uh that was meant to be at nights, but yeah, but yeah, so what was the pivotal moment that when you realized that transgender life was built on lies, Diego?
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yes, okay, that's a good question.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_01: You know what?
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_01: Because that's where the beautiful part comes of like how how you know, like I realize this is a huge lie.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um after meeting, you know, after living in this whole world of few full lies and full things, um, I I I went to church once in my whole transgender era.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_01: And then I think with a with a boyfriend I had, I I was with, we went to church together.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_01: And this is something I had never shared before, and I don't know why, but it's coming right now.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_01: So I remember I entered to church with him, and I immediately knew that this was so wrong.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_01: Like this was like I I know I by this time, you know, I grew up Christian.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_01: I I know what things are good and what things are not.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I came with a heart that that just that just wanted to come to God and ask God to be with me again because I missed him, you know.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, I didn't have a really strong relationship, but the time that I was with him, I got to meet a nice community.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_01: I had friends that were Christians, we did Bible study together, we went to evangelize, even though you know I was just doing it because I wanted to be with them.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_01: But I loved it, it was good.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I remember these things, and I'm like, I came with that heart of like, God, would you accept me?
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_01: I have I bring you my, you know, my my partner, and I want you to be my life.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I start crying.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_01: I start crying because in the moment that they were doing the worship, you know, they were praising the Lord, and they were they were talking about this song of like, you know, I come to you with all my sin and things like that.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_01: And and I started having so much conviction.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_01: I I look at him at the guy that I was in love with about that time, and I start crying so bad.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_01: And he's like, Are you okay?
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, I I'm just not feeling good, you know.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_01: I knew what God wanted me to do.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_01: I knew what God, you know, like he know I know I knew he loves me, but at the same time, the thoughts of like, if you come to him, you're gonna have to leave everything, even like the boy you love so much.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_01: And so I felt convicted and immediately I left church with him, and I cried and I said to him, like, I wanna, I wanna keep coming, you know.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like I want both of us to keep coming.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_01: I know God, you know, will accept us at one point and love me for who I am, you know.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_01: But of course it didn't happen because he was not willing to do it.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_01: He knew into his heart that also he was doing wrong.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_01: So that was the first time, you know, like I knew that the life I was living in, it mightn't be the best ones, you know.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_01: It might I'm living a whole life, but I still don't want to leave it, you know?
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_01: Because yes, God can give you convictions, but it depends on you if you want to change.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know, it doesn't matter.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, conviction and you know, knowing all this truth doesn't change anything if you don't move.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_01: So I went through that and I got a conviction, but at the same time, I oh I was just not ready for it.
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_02: So, how's the transition uh started?
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_02: Uh yeah.
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_02: Brother Diego.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_01: So after this relationship, we broke up, you know, because he wanted to have kids.
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then my mom, she was in Miami.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_01: I will live very far away in a very cold area of America, which is uh Wisconsin.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_01: And she called me and she's like, Oh, I have an amazing job.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna love this.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna be a caretaker if you want to.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_01: I have a I have a my boss, you can take care of him.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_01: And so I was like, you know what?
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_01: This sounds good, you know, it's something that is gonna help me.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_01: Miami is nice, sun, beach, you know, like it's gonna be cool.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_01: And so she's like, Yeah, you just take my spot.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna go back to, you know, she went to her home.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_01: And so she left and I went to Miami, and God is good because I know that he planted a lot of things in that in that moment.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_01: I had no clue what things were or what was gonna happen, but I believe he already knew what's gonna happen, you know.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_01: So I went with the heart of like, I wanna start a new life, you know.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to think about the guy that I that I was with.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_01: So I met this old man, he was 83, and he fell in love with me immediately.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_01: Now, this guy, this man, he was rich.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_01: He has rich.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_01: So he fell in love with me, and um, you know, when I arrived, I see you know everything.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_01: It was beautiful.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_01: I I come like where I was living, it was a small town where there's cows and farms, you know.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I move into Miami and I come to this bougie area of like, you know, luxurious, and only millionaires are are are living in these houses and apartments.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_01: And so I go to his place and amazing beauty, and everything was beautiful, luxurious.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_01: And he's like, he fell in love with me, and within the next few days, he started giving me everything, like his credit cards, he started giving me, you know, his car, like to drive anywhere I want to.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_01: He started buying me a lot of things, like luxurious stuff.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_01: And so coming from having nothing to you know, having everything, uh, like immediately, I went crazy.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_01: I started spending like crazy money, like just you know, and um, I started having more surgeries, I started having everything I wanted.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_01: Like finally, I was you know, I was beautiful, I was rich, and I I had everything I wanted.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what else could I ask for, you know?
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_01: And so, but as I mentioned you earlier, like if like what the world offers you is so little compared to what God can offer you, and happiness doesn't last forever in the world.
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_01: So I went through like anxiety and depression didn't did not leave.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_01: It was getting stronger and stronger.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_01: Why?
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_01: Because it felt like yes, I had everything, and this is something that many people don't share when they have a sugar daddy, because he became my sugar daddy.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, um, it's like, yes, it's fun, they gave you everything you want to, but it's uh it's a jail of gold, you know, you cannot leave.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_01: And they control everything in your life, and so I was in this gold, in the in this jail of gold.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_01: I could not get out of the house without his permission.
• 37:42
  SPEAKER_01: I could not do anything without his permission.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_01: So it was constantly of just you know, depression, anxiety again, you know, because I wasn't able to leave.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_01: And um, after that, you know, he wanted to have do sexual things with me, of course.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_01: You know, nothing is free in the world.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_01: And so um he treated me like this sexual toy.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_01: And so I bec I I went to my low, I went to the lowest point because I permitted it, you know.
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_01: I said yes to it because of money.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_01: And so it went hard, it was horrible, it was it was bad.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_01: I felt disgusted of my life, of what I was doing, of myself.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I I hit rock bottom because I look at the mirror, I look at this beautiful woman, but inside of me, my my my thoughts were like, You are disgusting.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_01: You're men were you're just a man who has implants or who has long hair, but you know, you're still I'm disgusting man.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I cry like at night, I cry so bad because I believe it, you know, and I believe it's so hard on like so deep in me.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_01: And so I started going on drugs and drugs and drugs and alcohol every single night.
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_01: And one day my sister, you know, she she was also in the world with me, where she did drugs and things like that, but she came to Christ, and that is like a beautiful moment because one of the nights I entered to I was doing mushrooms, which is an allucination, hallucinated drug.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_01: And so my sister called me the next day.
• 39:04
  SPEAKER_01: I had a horrible trip in that in that that night with my mushrooms.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_01: It was bad, it was bad.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_01: I saw demons, it was bad.
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_01: But my sister called me the next day, yes, and she starts sharing me about Jesus.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_01: She starts sharing me about like how she how she experienced him, and now she has this like feeling of like a new life, of like a new creation.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_01: And she starts sharing me all all the anxiety and depression left her life, left her body, and and I'm like listening to all the stuff while I went through a horrible night.
• 39:38
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, I I immediately start thinking of wow, that sounds amazing, but you know, I I don't wanna I don't wanna follow Jesus.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_01: I know what I have to do if I have to follow Jesus.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_01: So I hang up on her, you know, I act like I didn't care.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_01: But at the same time, you know, and this is something that I love is like when you share your testimony, you might think that people don't listen to you, you might think that you get um uh that people are ignoring you or treating you bad, but doesn't matter, you know, because I treated my sister like if I don't care, but she was planting a seed in me after she I hang up on her.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_01: I couldn't stop thinking of where would I be if I would accept God if where would I have family already?
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_01: Would I have a wife?
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_01: If I would never transition, where would I be now?
• 40:22
  SPEAKER_01: And so the the seed is start growing in my in my heart.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_01: And yes, that's how I, you know, like I could uh every single day, like growing and growing, where would I be?
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_01: Would I would I haven't would I have a struggle with depression, anxiety?
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's how God entered into my life, you know, through my sister.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_01: And then after that, my mom came and she started sharing what I love of my mom is like she became my best friend, you know.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_01: I I shared her everything.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_01: And when I told her that I wanted to see, or like I asked her, like, would you imagine if I would never transition?
• 40:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like, where would I be now?
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_01: And so she was Christian, of course, but she never shared to me immediately of like, oh, you have to repent, you need to come to Jesus and live that lifestyle.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, no.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_01: But she was very smooth, she was very like, you know, if you want to follow Jesus, you should try it out.
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_01: You he can help you with your anxiety and depressions.
• 41:17
  SPEAKER_01: And and I started, wow, I was like, wow, this is sounds this sounds good.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_01: And not even a week or so, and I moved.
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_01: I moved out of Miami, I left because I wanted to experience on with that life of like, you know, being oppressed by demons, manipulating me and treating me like a toy.
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_01: And then I went and I met Jesus and I came to Jesus.
• 41:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like I moved with my sister, she took me to church, and I growing little by little.
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_01: And God touched me in a mighty way.
• 41:45
  SPEAKER_01: In two weeks after going to church, God touched me in a mighty way in a park, very random, and I had this conviction of like I can keep living like this, I cannot keep living like this.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_01: So I started crying, like I felt his presence.
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_01: Like I had started having dispens, I started having um electricity all over my body.
• 42:03
  SPEAKER_01: It was supernatural, and I knew it was God.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_01: And when I opened my eyes, I was like, I can't.
• 42:10
  SPEAKER_01: I started scanning myself, I felt like I was wearing a costume, I saw my boobs, I saw my hair, I saw my makeup, and I did not like it.
• 42:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I went, I cried a lot.
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_01: It was in the park, just in the middle of like, you know, you will think that it will be the church, you will think that it will be somewhere, you know, but nice place, but it was just random.
• 42:27
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 42:27
  SPEAKER_01: And that day I accepted Jesus in my heart.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_01: And since that day, I decided to radically change.
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_01: I cut my hair the next day and make an appointment to get my breast out, like literally not even in two weeks or so.
• 42:41
  SPEAKER_01: And so I decided to dress up as a man because I was so victim, I was so touched.
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_01: What I felt that day when I was talking to him in the park, I knew was real.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like what I felt was so real.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_01: I could not keep living that lifestyle because I knew that the lifestyle I chose was the one was who what was that was bringing me so much shame and so much depression and anxiety, and that's how I decided to follow Jesus radically.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_01: And since that day, you know, I've been growing a lot.
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_01: It's been a year and a half now, and God has been restoring everything.
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_01: I knew that God had a purpose for me, has a purpose for me, and he's to share my testimony all around.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_01: So instantly, yes, instantly.
• 43:26
  SPEAKER_01: It was like God definitely work on me like that because you know I was living like this lifestyle for six years, and after, you know, like just couldn't not handle it anymore.
• 43:37
  SPEAKER_01: He restored everything because he saw my heart.
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_01: My heart was really broken, and I wanted not to I wanted genuinely to give him everything, and that's when God works in I I wonder the same sex attraction, you still feel it in your flesh.
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_01: Now it's been it's been amazing why, because when you come to Christ, you don't focus what I love to say is like you don't focus on what you're gonna lose or what you're gonna have to change, but you focus on the eyes of Jesus and Jesus will start restoring every part of your life, every wound that the world and the enemy brought, He's gonna start restoring it.
• 44:07
  SPEAKER_01: And so I love I was obsessed with man.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_01: And now you know it's like after a year and a half, got working on me and like pouring a lot on me.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_01: I've become to the point where I'm not, you know, I will not say that I'm fully out of, you know, like the attraction of men, but it's been growing a lot, and I've now had attraction towards women, and which is something that I've never experienced, but I loved it.
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_01: It's like yes, it's it's beautiful because I didn't focus on whether I like men or or women, but I said I focused on him, and then he started working on me, and that's how it's now.
• 44:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and you mentioned that after you take four months, you will never longer have a child.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so that is that is a thing.
• 44:51
  SPEAKER_01: That's what they said.
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_01: The doctor said, but I believe, you know, I've I believe in the mighty god.
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_01: I want to have kids, and I know God has talked to me, has given me something do you undergo test from surgery if it is possible?
• 45:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean uh is it it is possible to have a child.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_01: I did not have the surgery, I did not have the the the test of to see if I am fertile or not.
• 45:11
  SPEAKER_01: I wanted to do it, but for but when I was when I wanted to do it, I didn't really have this conviction of like why like I I had this conviction of the Holy Spirit saying like trust the Lord, trust the Lord because He will, you know, He will make it the impossible possible.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_01: And so I believe in my heart that I'll have my kids one day in His timing, you know, not in my timing, but in His timing, and that you know I have no no thought of like oh I'm I won't be able to have kids now because that's yes that's not believing in my God.
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, they were so in shock.
• 45:51
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of my friends left.
• 45:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I a lot of my worldly friends, they they they couldn't handle it, so they left, and it was hard, but you know, it's all a process.
• 46:01
  SPEAKER_01: God, you know, He doesn't leave you alone, He brings community to you, and so I have amazing friends now, like friends that are in Christ, in that when I feel down, they call me, they are with me, they pray for me.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's amazing.
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_01: I love this community now because now we grow together as a family, and yeah, that's how it's going.
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_01: My family's so happy.
• 46:20
  SPEAKER_01: We all serve the Lord a hundred percent now, and it's changing a lot.
• 46:24
  SPEAKER_02: And do you see the transgender agenda as a massive spiritual deception orchestrated by the enemy?
• 46:32
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's hard to ask this question because I don't want them to think that I hate them because I know what they're going through.
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I know that that lifestyle already has, you know, some like you already think that there's so much hate out there that society doesn't accept you.
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_01: I love them, I have compassion towards them because I went through that.
• 46:51
  SPEAKER_01: I know what they're going through, but I don't really, you know, I will say that I won't, I don't support what they're doing to their bodies or to like the agenda of like you become trans because you want to, because I've already done it and it just didn't bring me anything good.
• 47:08
  SPEAKER_01: I love them, I have compassion toward them, I pray for them, and I know I believe that God will touch their hearts in the right time.
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_01: And so that will be my thought, you know, just come closer to God and you know, He will restore every part of you.
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_02: Is there any physical scars or emotional wounds from years of hormones still hunt you until until today Jacob?
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, so well the first year, you know, like it's been a year and a half, but the beginning of the year, yes, there my body, you know, but like when you take hormones for several years, it takes about a year or two years to to get rid of those hormones out of out of out of your body.
• 47:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but um it's been a year and a half now, and I've seen a lot of growth, to be honest, because I'm young, I am able to get my testosterone level normally as it should be.
• 47:55
  SPEAKER_01: Amen.
• 47:56
  SPEAKER_01: So I feel so good that God has given me you know good health for me to recover from that mistake I did.
• 48:02
  SPEAKER_01: Um so now I'm just like I'm so grateful that I don't even like when people see me, they're like, no, no way you were trans at one point, like you just look like any other guy.
• 48:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I'm so grateful because God was able to heal me from the inside to the outside, and I don't have no wounds from my physical body or my emotional or my my spiritual body too.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_02: I actually didn't notice any trace of hate in you in you right now.
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, because when it's it's totally different.
• 48:29
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, yeah, like uh other person.
• 48:32
  SPEAKER_01: I know, right?
• 48:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, because I used to have a lot of Botox.
• 48:35
  SPEAKER_01: So, like, but what I love about Botox is like it doesn't stay long.
• 48:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you know, after six three months, it will just go away.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_01: So I had like in my chin, in my nose, in my chicks.
• 48:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like people said, like, oh, you but your face was too feminine.
• 48:46
  SPEAKER_01: But it was because of all these surgeries.
• 48:48
  SPEAKER_02: So if you could teleport back your pre-transition of so what harsh or life-saving words would you whisper to avoid the pain?
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I will definitely go one day before I'm about to transition.
• 49:02
  SPEAKER_01: Day before I was about to transition, I was in a lot of overthinking.
• 49:05
  SPEAKER_01: Um I had the appointment coming up, you know, and I was going through a lot of warfare in that moment because I knew that the decision I was about to take was the one was gonna change my whole life.
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_01: But at the same time, it's kind of confusing and it's kind of hard to answer this question.
• 49:20
  SPEAKER_01: Why?
• 49:20
  SPEAKER_01: Because the life I lived, I don't wanna for so long I regretted it after meeting Jesus, you know.
• 49:26
  SPEAKER_01: I regretted my life as a trans woman.
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_01: But now it's like God has given me the opportunity, you know, to experience that.
• 49:33
  SPEAKER_01: So now I can help others.
• 49:35
  SPEAKER_01: And if I would have never gone through that, I wouldn't be able to help the ones who are struggling now.
• 49:40
  SPEAKER_01: I wouldn't be able to connect with them, I wouldn't be able to disciple them now.
• 49:43
  SPEAKER_01: And and I love to do that.
• 49:44
  SPEAKER_01: It's a pleasure that God is giving me to work for his kingdom and and and to help these people who are in so much need.
• 49:51
  SPEAKER_01: So again, I will say, like, if I would have got to that part, I will probably say, You're loved, you know, like you're not alone in this.
• 49:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um, whatever decision you take, just trust the Lord, just come closer to him.
• 50:02
  SPEAKER_01: But yes, I don't know, it's just really hard.
• 50:05
  SPEAKER_01: But I if I would have to change anything, I wouldn't I wouldn't change anything because I wouldn't be here.
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_01: I'm grateful that God changed me.
• 50:12
  SPEAKER_01: I'm grateful that God transformed me.
• 50:14
  SPEAKER_01: And so yeah.
• 50:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's been hard and painful process, but through your darkest and your most painful a moment in your life, that's where the light of Christ came to you, and now you are shining his light for his glory and telling to this word that you are love and you are like a prodigal son.
• 50:36
  SPEAKER_02: You are once lost, and now you are uh embraced by by Christ fully when you turn back to him.
• 50:43
  SPEAKER_02: And Jago, uh how my our viewers can follow you and show some support in your deeping apart, brother.
• 50:50
  SPEAKER_01: You can go to the kingmerch.com and we can find it as on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok as the King Yahweh or Diego Arlen.
• 50:59
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much, brother.
• 51:05
  SPEAKER_02: God bless you too.
• 51:07
  SPEAKER_02: Let's give it a touch, brother.
• 51:09
  SPEAKER_04: Bye-bye.
• 51:10
  SPEAKER_04: Bye-bye.
• 51:20
  SPEAKER_00: Believe it or not, I was a transgender woman, and I didn't know I was living a lie until everything started falling apart.
• 51:30
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted people to believe that I was a beautiful woman, to the point that I wanted to become so badly a model.
• 51:40
  SPEAKER_00: But in reality, I hated myself.
• 51:43
  SPEAKER_00: I used to look in the mirror every five minutes just to see if I still look like a woman and not like a man.
• 51:49
  SPEAKER_00: I couldn't go to the pool really.
• 51:51
  SPEAKER_00: I couldn't model or take pictures without fear.
• 51:55
  SPEAKER_00: Always worried that people will notice that I was a man pretending to be something else.
• 52:00
  SPEAKER_00: I have built an entire identity, years of training my boys, how I walk, how I move, how I spoke.
• 52:09
  SPEAKER_00: And even though it looked confident on the outside, I was exhausted of pretending.
• 52:15
  SPEAKER_00: But one day Jesus called me to follow him.
• 52:18
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't think I was ready.
• 52:20
  SPEAKER_00: I never imagined that I'd have to leave everything I would build behind.
• 52:24
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't easy.
• 52:26
  SPEAKER_00: At one point I didn't even recognize myself.
• 52:29
  SPEAKER_00: I doubted everything.
• 52:31
  SPEAKER_00: I felt confused.
• 52:33
  SPEAKER_00: But then Jesus talked to me.
• 52:35
  SPEAKER_00: He reminded me, it is not by your strength, but it is by mine.
• 52:41
  SPEAKER_00: And that's when I realized surrender isn't losing yourself, it's finally becoming who you were created to be.
• 52:49
  SPEAKER_02: Hello, Cafe Community, Brother Adrian Milak here, and today I invite you to be part of my supporters group through Patreon and YouTube.
• 53:00
  SPEAKER_02: In Patreon, uh you can help and support me by um having an early access of all my interviews face to face and online.
• 53:12
  SPEAKER_02: And many people are asking me, especially when I posted interviews like Father Ripper, uh, if they if how they can watch it uh earlier.
• 53:23
  SPEAKER_02: So I decided to make this part uh of the perks if you support me in my Patreon.
• 53:31
  SPEAKER_02: So this will be unedited.
• 53:33
  SPEAKER_02: And if you really want to watch this uh urgently, so you just uh join my Patreon group, and all you need to do is to click the link where you can uh join my Patreon group.
• 53:47
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• 54:14
  SPEAKER_02: When I finish editing that face-to-face interview, one day ahead or six hours ahead.
• 54:21
  SPEAKER_02: Uh you can watch it on YouTube earlier.
• 54:25
  SPEAKER_02: If you want to be part of my supporters group in YouTube, all you need to do is to click the link somewhere here, the button below here, you will see where you can be part of my uh members only in YouTube.
• 54:40
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• 55:01
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• 55:10
  SPEAKER_02: The cameras, the device, the softwares, all the things that we use just to produce this kind of content.
• 55:18
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• 55:27
  SPEAKER_02: It is costly.
• 55:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, I do this for free, but this is costly.
• 55:31
  SPEAKER_02: If you will decide to be part of my supporters group, you can really really help me to continue this kind of evangelization.
• 55:39
  SPEAKER_02: You can help me to produce a solid Catholic content.
• 55:45
  SPEAKER_02: All the interviews that I will conduct, and thank you in advance if you will decide to be part of my supporters group.
• 55:55
  SPEAKER_02: Ask God, pray for it.
• 55:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, if you don't have the capacity to support me monetarily by being part of Patreon and YouTube members only, uh, just your prayer is enough for me.
• 56:10
  SPEAKER_02: It will give me the grace that I need to sustain for this ministry.
• 56:17
  SPEAKER_02: Again, if you want to be part of my supporters group, you can see somewhere here in the pinned comment in the description.
• 56:24
  SPEAKER_02: And if you are watching this on YouTube, you will see the join button now.
• 56:28
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you and God bless.