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Extraordinary Fruit Through Ordinary Preaching by David Brainerd | Jonathan Edwards · Reformed Thinking

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Reformed thinking. Welcome to the Deep dive.
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Today we are undertaking an intense observation of the inner
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life of an 18th century missionary, David Brainard.
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And our source material is his own journal, which was
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meticulously compiled and published by Jonathan Edwards.
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And, and we are looking at this as simple as a historical
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account, This is really a minute by minute window into an
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intensely disciplined spiritual life.
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And it all takes place during a time of, you know, great
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religious revival in the American colonies and elsewhere.
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So what period does this cover cover specifically?
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The documents cover a really intensely active year of
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Brainerd's vocation. It runs from his ordination in
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June 1744 through to June 1745. OK.
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And the narrative gives us incredible detail on his
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operations near the forks of Delaware and then these
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strenuous treks to Susquehanna and later into New Jersey.
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So what's our task here? What are we trying to understand
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in this deep dive? Well, our task is to comprehend
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the immense discipline he applied, the sheer physical
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hardships he encountered and, you know, the core theological
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premises that framed his ministry.
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His ministry among the Delaware and other Indian tribes.
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Exactly. And we'll be studying this
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persistent internal conversation within Brainerd, this constant
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awareness of his personal failing, what he called his
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corruption and vileness, and how that's balanced against his
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absolute reliance on God's sovereign grace for any
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possibility of conversion among the heathen.
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What strikes you right off the bat is just the extreme level of
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self scrutiny he imposed and of course the harshness of his
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physical condition. Oh, constantly.
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We witness a man just constantly fighting debilitating illnesses,
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fever, sickness, intense pain, general weakness.
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And at the same time, he's attempting the difficult
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logistical task of translating the gospel message, trekking
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through what he calls hideous wilderness.
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Yeah, and directly confronting these deeply rooted Pagan
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rituals, this deep dive is going to offer some valuable insights
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into historical piety. I think so, and it will help us
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reckon with the astonishing personal toll that was
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associated with these early missionary efforts.
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So let's set the scene. It's June 1744.
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Brainerd has just been ordained. This should be a moment of, you
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know, soaring spiritual victory. He should be physically ready to
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begin his vocation. But the source material
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immediately introduces a conflict.
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He's trying to get out the door, but his body just rebels.
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That tension is immediate and it's defining for the entire
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year. If you look at that week of June
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13th through the 19th, he starts by dealing with administrative
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tasks. Writing a report, I believe.
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Yeah, an account of Indian affairs to send to supporters in
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Scotland. But his intended departure for
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Delaware is immediately delayed by severe illness.
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How severe are we talking? Well, on Thursday, June 14th, he
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tries to leave, but his pain increased exceedingly, so that I
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was obliged to betake myself to bed.
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So he's bedridden. And he details a night where he
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was greatly distressed with pain and sickness, and he reaches a
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point where he was sometimes almost bereaved of the exercise
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of reason by the extremity of pain.
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Wow. We're talking about an intense
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physical crisis here. This could be life threatening,
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really, given the medical capabilities of the 18th
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century. But what's so remarkable is how
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he immediately theologizes this sickness.
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He doesn't see it as a frustrating impediment to his
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work. No, that theological filtering
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is essential to understanding Brainerd.
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He doesn't complain about the delay at all.
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He actually finds the illness in itself to be an act of Divine
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Mercy. Mercy.
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How so? He records that he often admired
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the goodness of God, that he did not suffer me to proceed on my
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journey and to be sick, by the way, among strangers.
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So he's grateful to be sick where he is.
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Right he saw this confinement among friends, where he was
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tenderly used as proof that God intermingles much mercy with all
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my afflictions and toils. That's classic Reform thinking,
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isn't it? Every experience, even
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suffering, is measured by the yardstick of God's benevolent
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sovereignty. It is, and the constant
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companion to his sickness, he writes, was that he still
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enjoyed some sweetness in things divine.
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So he's already operating in his compromise physical state, but
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he finally reaches the Forks of Delaware by June 24th.
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What's his immediate experience when he starts the mission work?
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Well upon arrival, he says he was extremely feeble, scarce
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able to walk. Barely able to walk.
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And despite this, he immediately visited my Indians and took much
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pains to instruct them. Labored with some that were much
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disaffected to Christianity. The.
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Sheer weight of the assignment just settles on him immediately.
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It does, he said. He was much burdened with the
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weight and difficulty of my work.
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This wasn't just a job description for him, this was a
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spiritual struggle for the souls of men who were resistant to his
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message. It sounds like a moment where
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human strength completely fails, which then forces his
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understanding of God's sovereignty to become his only
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spiritual mooring. That's the definition of it,
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Brainerd believed, as the Westminster Standards affirm,
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that the human will is bound by sin.
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It can't convert itself. So simply presenting rational
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arguments wasn't going to be enough.
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No, completely insufficient, the source states.
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His whole dependence and hope of success seemed to be on God, who
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alone, I saw, could make them willing to receive instruction.
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And the interesting thing is that this knowledge didn't lead
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him to just sit back and wait. No, it drove him to ceaseless,
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specific prayer. He records that his heart was
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much engaged in prayer, sending up silent requests to God even
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while I was speaking to them. So his preaching was also an act
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of interior pleading. He's asking for the Holy Spirit
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to intervene at the same time. A simultaneous act, Yes.
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He seems fully aware of how insurmountable the challenge was
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if you were to measure it only by human means.
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He's honest about that. Very on June 25th he writes that
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to an eye of reason, everything that respects the conversion of
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the heathen is as dark as midnight.
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If you just apply human logic, the language barriers, the
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cultural resistance, the religious traditions, it's a
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hopeless mission. It is, but this rational
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assessment did not breed despair in him, he states.
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And yet I cannot but hope in God for the accomplished of
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something glorious among them. The hopelessness of the task
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drove him not to human strategy, but to greater faith in God.
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Right, and his hope is immediately tested by logistical
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problems, specifically the difficulties of translation.
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The hurdles were just constant. They were.
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He spends a day busy most of the day and translating prayers into
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the language of the Delaware Indians.
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And the real obstacle was his aid.
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The interpreter. The interpreter was altogether
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unacquainted with the business. I mean, Can you imagine the
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frustration of trying to convey subtle theological ideas like
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the nature of Christ or repentance through an unskilled
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translator? It would be nearly impossible,
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and this just compounded his physical feebleness.
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It did, he notes. He was discouraged by the
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difficulty. Yet God supported me.
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The spiritual work was always buttressed by divine assistance
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right in the middle of human failure.
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And he manages to sustain this fragile hope by connecting his
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efforts to the larger narrative arc of scripture.
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He gives himself a historical perspective.
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Yes, he gains a strengthening of faith on June 26th by observing
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the wonderful assistance God afforded his servants Nehemiah
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and Ezra, and reforming his people and re establishing his
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ancient church. We should pause here for a
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moment and really consider that reference.
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Nehemiah and Ezra weren't typical evangelists.
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No, they were rebuilders. They were tasked with re
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establishing the social, political and spiritual
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structure of a community after exile.
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And Brainerd saw himself is doing something similar.
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Exactly. He wasn't just preaching to
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individuals, he was laying the spiritual groundwork for a
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future church structure among the people who had none.
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This broad historical vision allowed him to pray with a fresh
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spirit. It did.
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He longed that God would purge me more, that I might be as a
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chosen vessel to bear his name among the heathens.
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And before the month is over, he defines his motivation with
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extreme clarity and civility. He sets the standard against
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which he'll measure every single thought for the rest of the
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year. He does, He requests that God
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remember the cause was not mine, which I was engaged in, but it
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was his own cause, and it would be for his own glory to convert
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the poor Indians. He is so adamant about his
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purity of motive. Yes, adding that he felt no
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desire of their conversion. That I might receive honor from
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the world and this confession is vital.
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Why is it so vital? Because it means that if he
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later detects even a hint of selfish desire, pride and
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success comfort in a good performance, he will judge
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himself a failure regardless of the external results.
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That stringent standard of motivation immediately kicks off
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this intense inward struggle that is a signature of 18th
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century piety It. Is his theology demands spotless
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purity of purpose, but his reality, his own consciousness,
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constantly reminds him of his inner failing.
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This is the critical dialectic. Right, the end of June and the
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beginning of July show this constant psychological warfare.
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His great fear was admitting A vain thought, because a
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distraction like that threatened to dissolve the sense I then had
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of divine things. He longed for an abiding
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heavenly temper. What did he mean by that?
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He meant a steady, consistent state of spiritual elevation and
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focus. And on July 1st, we get a
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perfect snapshot of this internal back and forth when he
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he heads out to preach. He starts in darkness, but he
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ends in light. The day is completely
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bifurcated. He starts the morning in utter
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confusion, plagued by wandering, vain thoughts.
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He describes writing to the Indians with a heavy heart.
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He feels exceeding restless and perplexed.
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And filled with shame and confusion before God, he applies
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this severe rhetoric to himself, thinking he was more brutish
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than any man and deserving of being cast out of God's
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presence. So he performs his forenoon
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preaching without any heart. His external work continues, but
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internally he feels like an abject failure.
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But then the afternoon service turns everything around, and it
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suggests the operation was entirely external to his own
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striving a. Sudden, clear intervention of
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grace. It was, he writes, that God
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helped him address the Indians with a spirit of love and warmth
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and power. He felt enabled to plead with
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them to turn from all the vanities of the key, then to the
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living God. And the external response
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confirmed it. It did.
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He was persuaded the Lord touched their consciences, and
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he never, never saw such attention raised in them before.
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The moment immediately following this successful sermon is an
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essential section of the journal.
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This is his great act of self consecration on the ride home.
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He describes spending the entire 3 miles back in prayer and
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praise to God, and he stops specifically to dedicate himself
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to God again with great solemnity and unspeakable
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satisfaction. He explicitly renews his
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missionary vocation without any exception or reserve.
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It's total surrender. It is He confirms his dedication
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by calling out Lord to Thee I dedicate myself.
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Oh, accept of me, and let me be lying forever.
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Lord, I desire nothing else. I desire nothing more.
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He's attempting to match the sovereignty of God with a
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comprehensive, exclusive dedication of his life.
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And the physical description of this moment is, well, it's
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harrowing. He describes A literal physical
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collapse following the spiritual peak.
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It's crucial because it shows Brainerd's whole system, his
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body and soul, was engaged in the spiritual battle.
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Exactly. He writes that his body was
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considerably overcome, noting that his physical nature had
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been very weak of late and much spent.
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The physical symptoms are so specific.
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They are. His fingers grew very feeble and
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somewhat numb, and when he dismounted he could hardly walk.
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My joints seemed all to be loosed.
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This is profound exhaustion. Yet the contrast is that he felt
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abundant strength in the inner man.
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Right, the dedication was a total person event where
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physical energy was consumed in the process of gaining inner
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spiritual strength. But after achieving this high
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point, he immediately cycles back to spiritual self
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condemnation. July 2nd through Steph
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illustrate this relentless burden of self scrutiny.
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This is the rigor of Brainerd's spiritual culture.
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The stronger his sense of God's goodness and holiness, the more
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acutely he felt his own sinfulness.
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He was sunk down under a load of sin and guilt for what he saw as
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living so little to God, especially after such recent
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mercy. He describes his bitterness of
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spirit by reason of his vileness and corruption, going so far as
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to claim there was not one creature living so vile as I.
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He demands purification. He longs to be washed and
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purged, as with hyssop, a reference to the Old Testament
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rituals. And this self hatred,
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paradoxically, was the mark of authenticity in his theological
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system. Only the spiritually sound could
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recognize the true depth of their own depravity.
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And we see a very specific shift in his desires here.
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He begins to want holiness less for his personal comfort in
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heaven and more for his utility on earth.
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This reorientation is a critical development in his thinking
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during this year. He notes that last year his
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longing was often to be prepared for a world of glory and
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speedily to depart out of this world.
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But now but. Now all my concern almost is for
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the conversion of the heathen, and for that end I long to live.
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So his desire for holiness is reframed entirely around his
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vocation. He wants to be holy so that he
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might become an able minister of the New Testament.
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It moves his primary focus from individual salvation toward a
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communal missionary vocation. This intense spirituality
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provides the context for his unique approach to prayer, which
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often takes the form of arguing with God based on divine
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reputation. Right on July 9th, he felt
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strengthened to advocate for God's cause, arguing that it was
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his own cause and it would be for his own glory to convert the
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poor Indians. This is the highest level of
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Calvinistic prayer, isn't it? Making God's glory not human
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need the chief reason for action.
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It is, and he verifies his sincerity again, stating he felt
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no desire of their conversion for personal honor.
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This sincerity provided him enormous latitude in prayer.
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He also expresses this intense spiritual kinship with Saints of
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the past. His soul was exceedingly united
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to the Saints of ancient times as well as those now living.
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This sounds less like intellectual admiration and more
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like genuine communion. Yeah, he wasn't just reading
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history, he was feeling a melted affection for the company of
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Elijah and Elijah. Precisely, his interior life had
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completely superseded his physical location and his era.
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His mind was dwelling in the company of the heroes of the
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faith, and he was desperately seeking to join their ranks of
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dedicated service. The combination of his absolute
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dedication and his focus on God's glory brings us to a
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dramatic event on July 21st. His ministry directly confronts
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the reality of paganism. He received some deeply
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disturbing news. The Indians intended to hold an
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idolatrous feast and dance the following day.
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And this ritual, in Brainerd's eyes, was a direct affront to
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God. It was an act of worshipping
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devils. Yes, and the news plunges him
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immediately into anguish. He felt a conscientious
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obligation to intervene and break up the gathering, but the
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danger and his physical weakness made the prospect daunting.
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He responds to this crisis not by mounting his horse, but by
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withdrawing into a period of intercessory agony.
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And again, the physical symptoms of this spiritual battle are
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just astonishingly severe. He sought strength from above in
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solitude. He writes that he was
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exceedingly enlarged, and my soul was as much drawn out as
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ever. I remember it to have been in my
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life and. This level of intense, fervent
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prayer translated directly into physical.
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Outline it did. He pleaded with such earnestness
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and importunity that when I rose from my knees I felt extremely
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weak and overcome. I could scarcely walk straight.
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My joints were loosed, the sweat ran down my face and body, and
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nature seemed as if it would dissolve.
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A modern reader might struggle to comprehend prayer causing
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physical dissolution. What does this tell us about his
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conception of spiritual warfare? For Brainerd, this wasn't mere
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meditation, it was a physical grappling with invisible forces.
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His theology taught him that the conversion of the heathen
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required God to overcome the spiritual resistance of Satan,
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and his prayer was the instrument by which he pressed
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this cosmic war. So the body's exhaustion was the
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proof of the soul's exertion in battle.
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It was, and he confirms his pure motivation, stating he was
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wholly free from selfish ends. He cried earnestly that God
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would appear to vindicate his own 'cause.
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He appealed directly to God. Yes, that he preferred him above
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my chief joy. All temporal cares vanished.
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Holiness of heart and life and the conversion of the heathen to
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God were the only things of considerable importance.
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And the next day, Sunday, July 22nd, he carries this spiritual
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readiness into the field. He woke up still burdened and
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prayed before he even got out of bed, then withdrew to the woods
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for more prayer. He offered up himself a fresh to
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God, for life or death, for all hardships.
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He reaches the Indians who are in the middle of their frolic.
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But through what he records is divine goodness, he successfully
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persuaded them to break up their ritual and attention and his
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preaching. But the lack of an immediate
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spiritual breakthrough after this victory opened the door to
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immediate, devastating temptation.
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That's the counterattack, seeing nothing of the special power of
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God among them. No tears, no visible conviction.
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Satan exploited the vulnerability.
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He was buffeted with cursed suggestions.
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Questioning God's very reality and capability.
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There is no God, or if there be, He is not able to convert the
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Indians before they have more knowledge.
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That's a fundamental test of faith.
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It questions the basis of his entire vocation.
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It does. Yet he writes that he was
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mortified to all the world, and was determined still to wait
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upon God. The ensuing month, August 1744,
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illustrates the sheer physical and mental attrition of his
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work. He's constantly moving,
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constantly focused on the task. He rides westward over a hideous
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mountain to preach to new Indians.
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He notes that God does not allow him to comfort himself with any
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thoughts of returning to friends or enjoying worldly ease.
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His only contentment is in the work itself.
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It is, he feels, more of the spirit of a Pilgrim on earth
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than perhaps ever before, which reflects the psychological
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dislocation caused by constant travel and minimal fixed
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comfort. And then the constant physical
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stress breaks in completely. Again he enters a period of
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profound melancholy and weakness.
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His health collapses severely. He describes a season of
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distressing weakness where he could not stand, sit nor lie
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with any quiet, accompanied by sickness and faintness.
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His mind suffered equally. Becoming stupid and without any
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kind of affections towards all objects.
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This is the 18th century description of debilitating
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depression or extreme physical burnout.
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He felt perplexed, thinking he lived for nothing, yet he lacked
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the strength to do anything he considered productive.
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This is where he offers that striking analogy about feeling
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adrift, which perfectly captures the helplessness of his mental
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state. It's a powerful insight into the
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paralysis of depression under the pressure of intense piety.
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He compared himself to a man who has all his estate embarked in
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one small boat, unhappily going adrift down a swift torrent.
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The owner sees his entire livelihood just floating away.
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And Brainerd realized that he dare not lament because the
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emotional stress would worsen his bodily disorders.
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So he was forced to divide myself with trifles.
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To think of trivial mundane things.
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Which immediately led to intense guilt about the misimprovement
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of time, despite the fact that he was physically and mentally
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incapable of spiritual exertion. It was a cruel cycle.
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Physical collapse led to mental triviality which led to
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spiritual self condemnation. Exactly this intense spiritual
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environment culminates in September 1744, when Brainerd
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directly challenges the traditional spiritual leaders of
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the tribes, the pow wows. He discovered that some Indians
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were afraid to embrace Christianity lest they should be
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enchanted and poisoned by some of the powers.
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This was a genuine life or death fear rooted in their spiritual
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worldview. Brainerd, operating on the
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convention that he was protected by the One true God, publicly
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challenged these powers of darkness.
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He asked them to do their worst upon me first.
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It's immense public courage given his intense self scrutiny
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regarding spiritual pride. How did he justify this bold
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action? He goes to great lengths to
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ensure his motive was pure. He states that this action was
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not done for self aggrandizement.
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No, he understood that the honor of God was concerned in the
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affair. His desire for his own
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preservation was not personal. It was for a testimony of the
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divine power and goodness, and of the truth of Christianity,
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and that God might be glorified. He was stepping forward as a
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champion, risking illness or death to prove visually and
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publicly that the power of Christ was superior to the
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spiritual forces of the heathen. Brainerd's ministry was defined
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by persistent motion. October 1744 starts his major
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logistical endeavor, the trek to Susquehanna, and this journey
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vividly demonstrates the physical hazards he phase.
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He travels with his colleague Brother Byram, his interpreter
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and two chief Indians. Even before setting out, his
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piety dictates his mindset. He prays specifically that he
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would not forsake the Fountain of Living Waters for the broken
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cisterns of temporary comfort he might find with friends on the
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way. His spiritual fixation was
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total. Even while facing extreme
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physical distress. Right.
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And the environmental descriptions are chilling.
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He characterizes the terrain as the most difficult and dangerous
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traveling by far that ever any of us had seen.
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Lofty mountains, deep valleys, and hideous rocks.
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And this physical struggle was punched by a severe financial
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and logistical blow. The accident with his horse
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underscores the sheer isolation of his work.
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His horse broke its leg in the rocks.
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Requiring him to kill it. And this happened about 30 miles
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from any human drilling. For a missionary dependent on
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mobility, losing a horse was catastrophic.
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It was his sole means of transport.
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It was. Brainerd characteristically,
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immediately finds a spiritual lesson.
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He writes that he admired the divine goodness to me that my
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bones were not broken. He interpreted the hardship as a
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means to wean me more from the earth and make thoughts of
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heaven sweeter. And he and his companions lodged
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in the open woods, making crude shelters of bushes or barks, and
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were sometimes encircled by howling wolves.
22:24
A constant and immediate threat to their lives.
22:26
After this harrowing track, he finally reaches Susquehanna OPA
22:30
Hubam and preaches to about a dozen Indian houses.
22:34
What were the results there? They received him well
22:36
initially, inviting him back for more instruction.
22:40
He preached both times he was asked and felt he spoke with a
22:42
good measure of freedom, but the.
22:44
Internal refrain of his theology remains central.
22:47
Always he was exceeding sensible of the impossibility of doing
22:51
anything for the poor heathen without special assistance from
22:54
above. He leaves the outcome completely
22:57
to God. And even when preaching to new
22:59
audiences, his internal life continued to be plagued by
23:02
distraction and self reproach. He struggles intensely with a
23:06
lack of spiritual fixedness and intenseness.
23:08
For the 18th century, Puritan or Reformed individual spiritual
23:12
health was measured by the sustained exclusive focus of the
23:15
mind upon God. Fixedness meant the mind was
23:18
anchored. And Brainerd confessed he could
23:20
not keep any spiritual thought one minute without distraction,
23:23
which caused him anguish of spirit and he rise out.
23:26
Oh my soul, what death it is to have the affections unable to
23:29
center in God. This inability to concentrate
23:32
felt like a spiritual death sentence.
23:34
Because it meant his heart was still chasing temporal
23:36
satisfaction instead of divine truth.
23:39
The isolation and cold of the wilderness intensify his self
23:42
mortification as winter approaches.
23:44
November sees him dangerously lost.
23:47
On November 22nd he loses his way, wandering over rocks and
23:51
mountains, down hideous steeps and through dangerous swamps.
23:55
He was much pinched with cold and distressed by extreme pain
23:58
and sickness. He nearly gave up on finding
24:00
shelter. But when he finally does find
24:02
refuge, the same spiritual analysis applies.
24:06
Such fatigues and hardships as these serve to wean me more from
24:09
the earth and I trust will make heaven the sweeter.
24:12
Every adversity is a tool for sanctification.
24:15
This constant expectation of death seems to have been a
24:18
source of genuine comfort for him.
24:19
It was a consistent, profound solace.
24:22
The thought of his journey's end and of my dissolution was a
24:25
great relief under my sharpest trials.
24:27
He looks at a corpse and longed in my time I come to depart that
24:31
I might be with Christ. He sees these thoughts
24:33
frequently with great joy, noting they are seldom attended
24:36
with terror or melancholy. His longing for death was
24:40
motivated by a desire to escape the dullness and barrenness of
24:43
his mortal life. And to be made forever active in
24:46
the service of God, escaping the distraction and corruption he
24:49
constantly felt. In December, he dedicates
24:52
himself to isolation, building a small cottage for the winter.
24:56
But that isolation does not shield him from the
24:58
discouragement of apparent failure among his congregation.
25:01
On December 4th, his spirits sink when most of his people
25:04
choose to attend an idolatrous feast and dance.
25:07
Despite all his efforts, this direct rejection drives him to a
25:10
critical spiritual exercise. A day of secret fasting and
25:14
prayer. Yes, and he lists 4 primary
25:17
drivers for this fast. First, his own extreme
25:20
barrenness, the lack of fruitful spiritual affections in his
25:23
soul. 2nd The fresh idolatry of his Indians. 3rd The
25:26
intimidating greatness of his missionary task.
25:29
And finally, the persistent power of some particular
25:31
corruptions he was still fighting.
25:33
Through this rigorous act, he gained a clear conviction of my
25:36
sinfulness. It's fascinating that the sins
25:39
he identifies aren't obvious moral failures.
25:42
They're subtle forms of spiritual selfishness, even in
25:45
his pursuit of God. That's the measure of his
25:48
refinement. He identifies 2 particular sins
25:51
that haunted him. The first was seeking happiness
25:53
in earthly objects when God withdrew.
25:56
Meaning he would seek comfort or distraction in created things
26:00
rather than waiting patiently for God.
26:02
Right. And the second was being
26:04
impatient for death out of despair of accomplishing any
26:07
good work in life. He saw that even his desire for
26:10
the bliss of heaven could be corrupted by a selfish
26:12
impatience to escape suffering. His heart appeared to him like a
26:15
nest of Vipers. And he cried out to be purified
26:18
by the blood of sprinkling, a reference to Christ's atoning
26:21
work applied to cleanse sin. The highest point of this
26:24
spiritual exercise is his radical resignation, a total
26:28
submission to God's glorious will, regardless of his own
26:31
salvation or comfort. This is the high watermark of
26:34
his theological stability. He felt his soul rejoice that
26:37
God is unchangeably be happy and glorious, that He will be
26:40
glorified whatever becomes of His creatures.
26:42
Which means he could truly rejoice in God's perfection even
26:46
if he, David Brainard, were damned.
26:48
Because God's glory remains the ultimate good.
26:51
He persevered in prayer until evening, forgetting food because
26:55
the sheer weight of needing divine help overcame all
26:58
physical necessities. After months of agonizing
27:01
struggle, physical pain and internal scrutiny, the first
27:04
public documented signs of spiritual movement among the
27:07
Indians at the Forks of Delaware finally appear toward the end of
27:11
1744. This moment occurs on December
27:13
18th. He's preaching and initially he
27:16
describes the feeling as without any power, but then he feels
27:19
some fervency. God helps him speak with warmth.
27:22
But the initial instrument of conviction is surprisingly
27:25
localized. It was the interpreter who was
27:28
amazingly assisted. Brainerd perceives the Spirit of
27:31
God upon the interpreter, though he carefully clarifies that this
27:34
assistance manifested as powerful conviction, a
27:37
recognition of his lost state, not necessarily true saving
27:41
grace. And this conviction in the
27:42
interpreter dramatically changed the presentation of the message.
27:45
It did. The result was that presently
27:47
upon this most of the grown persons were much affected, and
27:50
the tears ran down their cheeks. This included an old man, whom
27:54
Brainerd estimates at 100 years old.
27:56
This taste of external success instantly returns him to his
28:00
core discipline of servant, prayer and Thanksgiving.
28:02
He spent the whole evening in prayer and Thanksgiving feeling
28:05
much enlarged and quickened. His immediate concern was
28:08
weighty. He desperately prayed that the
28:11
work which seemed begun would be carried on with power.
28:15
To the conversion of souls. Exactly.
28:17
For the next week, he found himself frequently praying with
28:20
cheerfulness and hope for his congregation.
28:22
A few days later, on Christmas Day, even when physically
28:25
weakened by lack of sleep, he finds his sustenance in
28:28
contemplating God's independent perfection.
28:31
He was delighted with the divine glory and happiness, rejoicing
28:34
that God was God and that he was unchangeably possessed of glory
28:39
and blessedness. This realization that God's
28:42
blessedness is secure and immutable, regardless of his own
28:45
status or success, was his strength.
28:48
It was he meditated on the parable of the fig tree in Luke
28:51
13.7 which spurred him to set before sinners their danger and
28:55
sinfulness. It's evident that he wasn't
28:58
solely focused on the Indians. He continued to minister to
29:01
white settlements and the sources note his seriousness in
29:04
preaching. His style was characterized by
29:06
what his contemporaries called close and distinguishing
29:09
preachers, sermons designed to clearly delineate the saved from
29:13
the unsaved. Forcing listeners to question
29:16
their own spiritual state. Yes, in October at the Irish
29:19
settlement, he felt God helped him preach in a more close and
29:22
distinguishing manner. Later at Greenwich, preaching on
29:26
Mark 8.34, he experienced great clearness and some sweet warmth.
29:30
But immediately after recording the warmth of that sermon, he
29:33
makes a frank confession about the lurking temptation in his
29:36
own heart. This is the constant self check
29:39
right after detailing a successful preaching experience,
29:41
he admits to struggling with spiritual pride afterwards.
29:44
It shows the perpetual inward hazard.
29:47
Even when God uses him effectively, His own corrupted
29:50
heart is ready to take the credit.
29:52
He notes that wandering thoughts and pride led him during a day
29:55
of fasting in January to contemplate grand actions like
29:59
writing, preaching or converting.
30:01
Heathens that my name might live.
30:03
This craving for human approval or a lasting legacy was, in his
30:08
estimation, A grievous sin. And this struggle is intensified
30:12
by persistent physical weakness and melancholy in January 1745.
30:17
Yet despite his overwhelming self condemnation, he maintains
30:21
a steady assurance regarding his standing before God.
30:24
This is a great paradox of Brainerd's piety, and a crucial
30:27
distinction for the listener. It is on December 16th, when he
30:30
was so burdened with dejection he knew not how to live.
30:33
He states he had no distressing doubt about my own state, but
30:37
would have cheerfully ventured into eternity.
30:39
So his emotional and psychological feelings might
30:41
tell him he was vile and useless.
30:43
His subjective experience was despair.
30:45
But his objective faith, founded on God's promises, maintained
30:48
his assurance of justification. When the physical and mental
30:51
gloom finally lifts, his spiritual vitality returns with
30:54
immediate force, confirming the interplay between his body and
30:57
his soul. On January 9th, God was pleased
31:00
to remove that gloom. The change is immediate and
31:04
comprehensive. Things that of late appeared
31:06
most difficult and almost impossible, now appeared not
31:09
only possible, but easy. He was now quite willing to live
31:13
and undergo all trials. And crucially, his longing for
31:17
heaven persists. But now it is framed again in
31:20
terms of service, that I might glorify God in a perfect manner.
31:23
Every affliction is either a temptation to make him despair,
31:27
or an instrument used to refine his spiritual zeal.
31:30
As we move into the spring of 1745, Brainerd encounters a
31:34
moment of personal reckoning after visiting a dying man,
31:37
which solidifies his complete resignation regarding mortality.
31:40
On February 11th, following the sick man's death, Brainerd
31:43
entered a state of extreme solemnity.
31:45
This led to what he called universal mortification to all
31:48
created objects. Everything earthly lost its
31:51
value and attractiveness. He describes contemplating his
31:54
own death, seeing himself dead and laid out and enclosed in my
31:57
coffin, and put down into the cold grave with great solemnity,
32:00
but without terror. He uses this experience to put
32:03
all earthly life into its proper transient perspective.
32:07
He reflects directly on 1st Corinthians 7, concluding the
32:11
time is short for the fashion of this world passeth away.
32:16
With his complete detachment from the world, his focus shifts
32:19
directly to the core of the gospel message.
32:21
He gains a sweet sense of the free grace of the gospel while
32:24
meditating on John 7.37, and he longed to proclaim that unearned
32:29
grace to the entire world of sinners.
32:31
This fresh zeal for free grace leads to a memorable outdoor
32:34
preaching event just a few days later.
32:36
On February 17th, he preaches to white settlers in the wilderness
32:40
upon the Sunnyside of a hill. This assembly was composed of
32:43
people who traveled up to 20 miles to hear him.
32:45
And using that text from John 7, the invitation to Grace, he felt
32:49
enabled to speak with great freedom and fervency.
32:52
He notes the immediate emotional effect.
32:54
There were many tears in the assembly, and I doubt not but
32:57
that the Spirit of God was there.
32:59
He also arrives at a major theological realization about
33:01
his own methodology for holiness, realizing he was
33:04
relying too much on self effort. On February 24th, preaching on
33:07
John 6.67, he finally realizes he had been too much laboring
33:12
for spiritual life, peace of conscience, and progressive
33:15
holiness in my own strength. He was trying to produce what
33:18
only God could grant. Right.
33:20
God showed him the arm of all strength and the fountain of all
33:23
grace. This was a breakthrough moment.
33:26
He recognized that backsliding souls could return to Christ
33:29
without anything to recommend them.
33:31
Confirming the sufficiency of God's grace alone, independent
33:34
of humans driving. Exactly.
33:36
Then, in March 1745, he undertakes one of his most
33:40
massive undertakings of this year, a 600 mile round trip to
33:44
New England. This was driven by a profoundly
33:47
practical need. It speaks to the isolation he
33:49
faced. It does.
33:50
He took this extended trip primarily to contrive how to
33:53
raise some money among Christian friends in order to support a
33:56
colleague with me in the wilderness.
33:58
After two years in draining isolation, the need for another
34:01
laborer was severe. The physical and mental strain
34:04
of being completely alone, coupled with constant illness
34:07
meant that the spiritual zeal required a practical structural
34:10
solution, the form of companionship and shared work,
34:14
and the. Logistical scale of this 600
34:16
mile journey taken while still frequently ill just gives
34:20
perspective to his dedication. His return journey puts him at
34:23
the center of two major Sacramento seasons, occasions
34:26
for large public spiritual gatherings showcasing his most
34:30
visible ministry successes. The first was at Abington, April
34:33
2022. A Sacramento occasion following
34:36
the Church of Scotland method preaching on Matthew 5.3.
34:40
Blessed are the poor in spirit. The assembly was sweetly melted
34:43
and scores were all in tears. He notes he was physically
34:46
exhausted afterwards, his spirits much exhausted, so that
34:50
I could scarcely speak loud, yet he rejoiced in the visible work
34:54
of grace. And the second, at Neshaminy in
34:56
June 1745, appears to have been an outpouring of historic scale,
35:01
a peak moment in the Great Awakening.
35:03
He assisted Mr. Beatty Sacramento occasion preaching to
35:06
a crowd estimated to be 3 or 4000 people.
35:08
Speaking without a prepared script extemporary on Isaiah
35:11
53.10, yet it pleased the Lord to bruise him.
35:15
The word was attended with amazing force.
35:17
Many scores, if not hundreds, were much affected.
35:20
So that there was a very great morning, like the morning of
35:23
Haddadruma. This biblical reference
35:26
Haddadruman refers to a massive national lamentation for a great
35:31
loss, suggesting the emotional conviction was widespread, deep,
35:35
and public. It's so important to recognize
35:37
that even after such spectacular public results, his internal
35:41
humility and self scrutiny never waver.
35:44
Immediately following that monumental success, he writes
35:47
that in the evening he could hardly look anybody in the face
35:50
because of the imperfections I saw in my performances in the
35:53
day past. While God was clearly using him
35:56
to affect thousands, Brainerd's focus remained on his own
35:59
defects and inability to perform perfectly.
36:02
This relentless self condemnation was not self pity,
36:05
but a measure of his aspiration for divine standards.
36:08
And almost immediately after this high point, he undertakes
36:11
yet another dangerous missionary trip which nearly proves fatal.
36:15
In May 1745, he travels again to Susquehanna, covering about 340
36:20
miles, including 100 miles by river, visiting 7 or 8 distinct
36:24
tribes. The hardships were unrelenting.
36:26
Lodging on the ground, sleeping in the open air, and then
36:29
suffering A logistical disaster when their horses ate poison,
36:32
forcing him to travel on foot until he found a bark Hut.
36:36
The wilderness nearly claims his life during this trip.
36:38
He falls critically I'll with an egg, a fever and severe internal
36:42
pain attended by a significant loss of blood.
36:45
He truly thought he would perish in the wilderness.
36:48
He spent a week without proper sustenance or medicine before he
36:51
could gather enough strength to ride home.
36:53
This critical period confirms that Brainerd's life was a
36:56
sequence of brief spiritual victories punctuated by
36:58
continuous physical peril and suffering.
37:01
He closes out this strenuous year by commenting on the
37:04
refreshing sense of true fellowship.
37:07
After the emotional intensity of Neshaminy and the physical
37:10
trauma of his journey, he converses with Christian
37:13
friends, stating they're the excellent ones of the earth, in
37:15
whom is all my delight. He treasures those who love to
37:19
feed on the kernel rather than the shell.
37:21
Indicating his desire for genuine, substantive spiritual
37:25
communion after so much solitary rigor and the trivial
37:28
distractions of the outside world.
37:29
Reflecting on this intense year documented in the the diary,
37:33
we're given a stark picture of a life lived maximum spiritual
37:36
tension, physically frail, geographically isolated, yet
37:40
sustained by an inner reservoir of devotion.
37:43
He maintained his vocation because he rested his
37:46
expectation of success entirely on God's revealed arm.
37:49
And his struggles with self loathing, the quick return of
37:53
spiritual pride, and his impatience for death only under
37:57
score the demanding standard of piety he applied to himself.
38:00
Which continuously directed him away from his own merits and
38:03
toward divine grace. I think the listeners should
38:05
take note of the total dependence Brainerd illustrates.
38:09
He shows us that major external success, the widespread visible
38:12
conviction at Neshaminy, was directly related to his hidden
38:16
life of agonizing, strenuous prayer.
38:18
Right. The physical exhaustion he
38:20
chronicled following his most fervent intercessions, like when
38:23
his body nearly dissolved on July 21st, is a visible marker
38:27
of the spiritual battle being conducted for the souls of the
38:30
heathen. His relentless concentration on
38:32
God's glory, even above his personal well-being,
38:35
demonstrates the core theological engine driving him.
38:38
It's holy day old Oya, glory to God alone in the feebleness, the
38:43
fever, and the forest. Brainerd prayed constantly for
38:47
the capacity to live to God with the activity of the angels, yet
38:50
God continually provided him with the brutal lesson of
38:52
dependence through sickness and sin.
38:54
The question for us, looking at his life, is this.
38:57
In our own vocations, how does the reality of human witness,
39:00
whether physical fatigue, mental stagnation, or spiritual
39:03
failure, become, ironically, the instrument that compels absolute
39:07
reliance on divine grace, allowing God's strength to be
39:10
manifestly visible? It's a vital observation when we
39:12
look at the difference between mere activity and true efficacy.