Latest / Dits & Dahs / the value of solely, not lonely
Transcript
- Sue: On a rare occasion I'll receive Facebook requests to connect from people that I don't know. For me and what I do, even though there is some bit of public visibility, mostly those that reach out are scammers. There's been a person that lives in my vicinity that reaches out every once and again and wants to have a blind date. You know, on the surface it's not a problem to do that. So we reinitiated a chat that we had a couple years ago. And he knows I'm a widow and asks the question, why aren't I on any dating sites? LOL. Well, it's bad enough to get the occasional Facebook scammer request. Why put it out there in such a way on a dating app to open myself to yet more unsolicited potential scamming? That's my experience. I of course have faith in humanity, but the other aspect that I'm made point of to him was that we don't have money to date. I don't really have that stability in my life to spend money in that way. To which he replied, Well, you know, we could just get together and hang out. Well, okay. The conversation continued. Don't you mind being alone? Aren't you lonely? Kind of question. I said, No, I don't get lonely because I have activities in my life to fill my brain with good stuff. And then the conversation abruptly ended, which is fine. it ended before, so you know, here we are again. I'm passive about connecting with others socially for the sake that yes, financially I have a constraint temporarily. And second of all, I'm recognizing that for part of the single population, they're not comfortable being by themselves. May not be fear, who knows, but I really value the time that I give to myself each and every day with a creative pursuit. And I actually highly recommend it because I'm never lonely. So I only presume that once you find something that inspires you to occupy your time, you will feel the same results as I have. But it also scores up the point that people will enter into long term relationships for the sake of not being alone, and I've learned the lesson from my time with Gareth that giving up something that gives me great passion isn't the way to go. Being together for the sake of appearances as a couple doesn't work for me. It's not necessary. Being a part of couple of two shoulder to shoulder equally yoked souls is also a wonderful place to be. Because if each of you have your passionate pursuits, you're gonna learn something. You may have the opportunity to observe the other person's pursuits by traveling with them or getting involved as a groupie, passionate fan supporting your partner, but not at the expense of you and your passionate. pursuit intentionally devalued myself by essentially giving up on music as a performance or writing, composing, during the time that I was with Gareth, in order to think that I would have more time hanging out with him that would be more valuable in the long run. And now, four and a half years after his death, I have more than enough time to myself, and making content is what I do. Not to fill time, but to create stuff that has me in it, music, talk. as I'm doing now. And whether or not others click on it as you have just done, doesn't matter to me, if only for the statement that I enjoy creating. But until such time I get employment to fill this time, I'm committed to creating content. In fact, even if I were overemployed, I'd still be devoting this much time to creating content because I'm adding value to myself. I appreciate that for the simple fact that My life at the moment is a very simple one. And to look at all the things that are part of my daily routine, having something that gives me great joy is very satisfying and calming. It goes back to the adopting the mindset of recognizing all the time in my life that used to create a lot of anxiety for me and removing that anxiety by expressing my gat gratitude. The gratitude pushes out those angsty vibes. And then that means I have more room to bring in. More passion. Whatever that might be, you know, there's no guarantee that anybody clicks on it except you, and thank you for doing that. I'm just grateful to be living in a world where at the moment, rather easily, I can create this content and put it up online and connect, should anybody wish to do so. It's not my not my place to to say. And that the connection and choice I made in my life to pursue music brings connections in, maybe not in a direct way. I'm grateful for the connection. Confirmation with that beep, and I'm grateful for your connection. Thank you for listening. How can you possibly feel alone? Well, I don't feel alone when I have such global connections, no matter how visceral they are.